Seeking Derangements - SD 264 - Tour Du Trauma

Episode Date: October 29, 2023

Here's the first half of our special Halloween episode for you broke bitches who cant subscribe to our Patreon. Reporting from the most haunted city in the United States, Jacques and I are here to give you a tour of some of the most fucked up things that have happened to the people of New Orleans and of course, to Jacques himself. Join us on this journey as we tell tale of an axe wielding sociopath who killed a bunch Italians for not playing Jazz, how Jacques came to in a Taco Bell ditch, pray for the Gay Guys who died in a bath house fire, try to eat pickled beef tips, and finally harass city employees on the phone...in a graveyard.

Everybody's had a few Now they're talking about who knows who I'm going back to the Crescent City Where everything's still the same This town has said what it has to say Now I'm after that back highway And the longest bridge I've ever crossed Over a bunch of trains

To Huiton-Saint-Denis That's what we say We used to dance The night away. Welcome everyone to Seeking Derangements. It's Ben. I'm here with Jock. Today we're doing, we're in New Orleans. We're driving around the sinking streets of New Orleans.

We're in New Orleans and we are leaving Uptown to visit some very spooky and scary spots. We're doing some field reporting today. I'm going to show you classical spooky spots, Ben, in New Orleans, and I'm going to show you personal spooky spots. Spooky spots. Ben, I don't know these places. Spots that have haunted my heart.

This list is a surprise for me, in part. So. But I'm imagining we're going to get some car crashes from you. And by that, I mean cars that have hit you. Well, that's in Lafayette. Oh, that's in Lafayette. Wrong. Wrong.

Stupid. Dumb. Removed. Redacted. So what we're going to be going to first is none other than the famous serial killer in New Orleans, the Axeman, who between 1918 and 1919 claimed between 15 and 16 different victims. He was never identified. Okay. Spooky.

Spooky enough. Scary. So he would go into people's house in the middle of the night, go straight to their shed first, quietly grab an axe, which was very common to have in a shed in New Orleans, and then he would go straight to their bedroom while they were sleeping, raise his axe

up, and begin to murder one of the spouses of the people in the bed, and then continue on to the next person. What, like he always killed wives first or something? He would kill the wife first, or the husband first, and then the on to the next person. What, like he always killed wives first or something? He would kill the wife first or the husband first and then the wife. You think he'd kill the husband first? Not that I would ever plan to do something like this.

No, not that you would ever plan to do this. I'd take out the man first. I don't think he would, but if you want to message him about his experiences, Benz. So we're going to one of these houses? Yes, we're going to go to Joe Maggio, and I'm going to double check on her name, but Joe Maggio and his wife owned Joe Maggio's grocery and bar in New Orleans. Grocery and bar. I believe.

That's such a New Orleans thing. So I'm going to, first of all, here's a headline from years ago. It doesn't even list his wife's name. It just says Joee maggio and wife slain huge huge elf in home during night couple hacked to dac to couple hacked to death with axe and sleep so the axeman starts doing these murders and people are getting pretty concerned and he has the audacity and gall to how many people had he killed at this point and he has the audacity and gall to... How many people had he killed at this point?

He... Let me bring up a timeline. I mean, we're talking at least... He's probably like 10 people in. Yeah. And he mails to the... He mails to the local newspaper. Mm-hmm.

The Bayou Times. That ain't no thing. It was probably... What do you think there was there before the Picking You Times? Oh, yeah, it's the Picking You Times. Oh, my God. Okay, so we are here

at what used to be the location of Joe Maggio and his wife's corner store where they were unfortunately murdered by the Axeman. Wait, is it the fire department now? Which, well, it's seemingly close to the fire department. Where?

A lot of axes there for him to come down. It's this place on the corner? Yeah, I think so. It looks like it. We're looking at a lime greenhouse. There's a family. There's a family who's looking at us they're holding a baby dude okay they're going inside it's very sweet little mexican family

oh it's done got a family for no reason the microphone talking in microphone would probably probably think we're the scariest i would be horrified i'd be so freaking freaked out so wait okay so let me break this down for that what the ax man does he mails the newspaper and Probably think we're the scariest. I would be horrified. I'd be so fucking freaked out. So wait, okay. So let me break this down for that, what the Axeman does. He mails the newspaper and basically says, on the night of March 19th, if your house is not filled with the merry music of jazz, I'm going to kill you.

So on March 19th, 1918, the Axeman, everyone in New Orleans. What did jazz sound like then? What do you Orleans. What did jazz sound like then? What do you mean? What did jazz sound like then? A boop, boop, bop, bop, beep. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, that's what, what do you fucking mean? What did it sound like?

I'm just asking a question, dude. Jesus Christ. I know, I just don't know how to quantify. It sounded jazzy. Okay, perfect. So, okay. He says, he's going to kill anyone, any home that doesn't have jazz music playing on record. Oh my God, do you think it's this one flying the gay flag? Oh, okay. He says he's going to kill anyone, any home that doesn't have jazz music playing on record. Oh, my God.

Do you think it's this one flying the gay flag? Oh, ugh. I hope not. Is that what it is? We're getting close. We're getting close. Okay. So he mailed the Picayune Times.

He mails them, and he says, if there's not a full jazz band playing inside your house, or there's not jazz records playing inside your house, you're getting murdered. And so the whole town. So he's a jazz records playing inside your house you're getting murdered and so the whole jazz fanatic yeah so the whole town is a blasting jazz in like 1918 yeah and they stopped the murder stopped now that's so crazy this is interesting the one suspect yeah and a lot of true crime uh yeah we're finally making our foray into true crime a lot of true crime experts all say the same person yeah um and it's crazy because guess what what do you think happened to him to the uh sole suspect yeah uh he died he was murdered by one of the surviving wives of the victims of the asks murder in california whoa so like how like she hunted him down to this woman hunted him down to avenge her husband. This woman hunted him down, this one suspect.

I'm going to bring up his name because... I feel like that's an indictment enough. It was probably him. Crime writer Colin Wilson speculates that the Axeman could have been Joseph Munfra, a man shot to death in Los Angeles in December 1920 by the widow of Mike Pepitone, the Axeman's last known victim. So was he just killing Italians? It did seem...

Maggio Pepitone... Seems like he maybe hated Italians and was using his love of jazz as a cover. So here's a little quote for you. The majority of the Axeman's victims were Italian immigrants or Italian-Americans, leading many to believe that the crimes were ethnically motivated. Oh, my God.

Many media outlets sensationalized this aspect of the crimes, even suggesting mafia involvement despite of lack of evidence. Okay, so this guy is just like showing up to people's houses and murdering them. Yeah, but he must know that they're Italian. Look how beautiful this house is. Stop what we're talking about. Look how beautiful this house is. Covered in're talking about. Look how beautiful this house is. Covered in flowers. Love it.

Back to the spooky sadness. Murder. Death. Axe to the face. Head split open like a log. That's what happened to these poor Italian-American. What do you call Italian-Americans back in the day that was rude?

Dago, Wap, Guinea, probably a few other things. The great Guinea slaughter of 1918. The Guinea slaughter. Is it this one? Oh, my God. Okay, I'm going to definitely say this is it. This is it. So it looks like just a very normal house.

It looks like a very normal house we would never know that italians live here um or were slaughtered here i don't hear any jazz playing so it doesn't seem like there's any kind of remnants of trauma should we do you think it looks haunted i looks haunted as fuck look at that ugly ass cat thing on the front steps. It looks super normal to me, but the thing is, I feel like a lot of times normal places are haunted, you know. The more haunted something looks, the less it's actually just kind of chill.

I hear that the original beams of this building is all still original. So they have a flag that has a pig on it? Do you see that? Yeah. You're acting like it's like a vision you're having.

Michael, do you know what that pig flag means? We have our driver, Michael, here with us. He's our... No, but I think that the pineapple could be a swinger thing. Oh my God. We are not weird. Well, no, it's true. They do that. Yeah, ironically they invite strange men into their bedroom.

Yeah. Yeah, they're inviting guys into their bedroom without, maybe they don't even know. Not even knowing. Should we knock on their door and tell them? Tell them? They should have jazz. Oh, my God, Michael. The pineapple thing is great.

Okay, so just so you know, I forget about this. Have you ever done swinging old style like that? Not really. Not like that. But I do have a friend. Me and Michael do have a mutual friend who This is a free episode, by the way. I know. She was the first person to tell me about the pineapple

thing, which is crazy. Well, let's just, before we exit the sad tale of the Axeman, first lesson, you have to be listening to jazz. They also have a gay little wind thing. Do you see that? Yeah, okay. The way you're describing, that makes no, what they have hanging from their front porch is like some like dingle dangly little like wind charm thing that's colored rainbows.

That's gay. Not the wind in front're gay swingers who this pig flag also makes me think like it could maybe be a sniffy thing or something because that in combination with the swinging pineapple this gives me like pound pig disgusting gay guy vibes i don't think this is a slam bottom house but slam bottom house that's what i meant to say thank you for correcting me um i don't know if you're in this thought this mindset but troubled souls that um die and don't find peace on earth woke has gone too far like these murder houses are now gay sex yeah you know venues do you think

that the ghost that of joe and his wife joseph probably so disgusted by having to see guys raw dog themselves are you joking room that they were slaughtered in for being italian of Joe and his wife, Joseph? They're probably so disgusted by having to see guys raw-dog themselves in the room that they were slaughtered in for being Italian and not playing jazz. Are you joking? Look, let me put it into you in perspective. These ghosts have been sitting here for probably... I'd be so pissed. How many years do you think it's been since 1918? A hundred years.

I mean, we could do the math. I feel like it's been about... No one knows, y'all. No one knows how many years it's been since 1918. It's been a hundred years. And the ghosts probably get horny and masturbate above the people having sex. I don't think they would want to see gay guys doing it. But maybe it's like when you're in prison.

You know, like guys, when they go to prison, they turn gay. Because they can't have sex with anyone else. And like if you're a ghost, you can't have sex. So maybe any kind of sex starts to get you off. You just get off on the intimacy of seeing a bunch of slam-pig swinger freaks do whatever they do. Also, you think anyone wants to have sex with their wife for the rest of their life? Maybe they loved each other.

And if you get murdered together, I feel like that's such an intimate experience. It's like more intimate than sex is getting killed. I feel like they're probably bonded forever and eternity. Okay, well, before... Yeah, what's our next location? Well, look, before we go, just hold my hand for a second. Well, is there anything else about the ax man?

I know he killed 15 people. We're going to say in unison, God, we pray for Joe Maggio and his wife and that their souls rest peacefully. And they don't have to watch all the sex. And if they watch the sex, I hope they enjoy it. Yeah, I hope they enjoy it too. All right, what's our next place? Do you have one?

Do you want to take a break? Yeah, no, I know exactly where to go. All right, tell us about our next place. This next place is a... We're going to go from reality to fantasy. Okay fantasy okay i'm gonna take you to the witch house what's the witch house i'm gonna take you to the american horror story witch house okay i've never seen this uh show but i have it's on magazine street isn it one of those mansions on Magazine Street? I believe so. I've been down this...

I've been past this house before and Jock just opened his phone and I saw the Sniffies app. Shut the fuck up. It's saved on your... It's not saved. It's automatic. That's even worse. That's even worse because you're going to it all the time. That's so funny. I think it was also next to

OnlyFans. There's money to it all the time. That's so funny. I think it was also next to OnlyFans. There's money to be made? Yeah. On sniffies? Yeah. Oh, well, you're broke right now. I forgot. God.

What was the last sex thing you did for money? This is not... It's not, like, really that bad. Okay. In between the toe picks. Toe picks? In between the toes. Me spreading my toes so it's... The crack. The crack of the toe picks. Toe picks? In between the toes. Me spreading my toes so it's showing the crack.

Unwashed. Unwashed. He's like, wear your shoes all day and show the lint from your socks in between your toes. You know when you take a shower and all these little black pieces come up from wearing cheap socks? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like that, but he wants that. So are you providing

him with the lint or are you just sending him pictures? I'm just sending him pictures. Does he want to escalate to... How much money? For the linty toe crack? $50 per picture. Well, you could crank those out all day.

Good God. Nah, but he only bought a few and then he was like, I'm done. He's a collector. He doesn't want... His camera reel is fucking crazy. Imagine. Imagine that guy dies. And that's what his family...

And his family has to delete thousands of pictures of linty toe crack. That's scary. I'm sorry, but I can think of a lot of dead celebrities whose families probably had to look through their phone and libraries of photos. That's something that I get so scared of sometimes. If I look up something really crazy on my phone or do something really crazy on my phone,

is being like, if you die right now, people are going to like, people would be like, I'm going to know what you're into in a really bad way. Isn't it true on the day of 2018, May 19th that you Googled, did I get HIV last night?

Yeah, literally. Literally. Like if there was, if I was on a plane and it was crashing i don't think i would call my family or anything i would like throw my phone out the window so it couldn't be discovered after death same with my laptop this is making it seem like i'm looking up really bad stuff but i'm just i'm just i'm just uh a private person. I think, okay, isn't there... We're passing a breast care center. We're on Claiborne right now, right? Okay, can we go...

Actually, we're going to make a stop at a more important place. To Clay. No, no, shut up. You know where the Taco Bell is up here? We're going to Taco Bell. Yeah, okay. We're going to go to Taco Bell. Oh, I know this one.

I know why this Taco Bell is important. We're going to go where I was arrested. Yeah. know this one. I know why this Taco Bell is important. We're going to go where I was arrested. Arrested. You heard that right. Arrested. I'll say it three more times so that you can write it down. Arrested. Arrested.

Arrested. That's how arrested I was. Well, actually, I know we should actually get out of the car for this one because there's an important uh feature to this that i think would be good to experience sonically for the listener years ago i went to the thursday night this is uh muses uh mardi gras parade this is the women's sort of lesbian parade it happens on the thursday sort of lesbian parade It's mostly lesbians. Okay. So you – I go to the parade. I watch the parade. I get pretty drunk. Yeah.

I then go to an after party. Oh, my God. We pass a head shop called Purple Monkey Face Slap next to a restaurant called Chicken and Watermelon. Oh, yeah. Well, Chris – I love New Orleans. Chris turned to me one day and he goes did you hear what happened and i said no what are you talking about i thought he's about to say something serious he's like yeah

they closed down purple monkey face no okay okay so we're about to go to this location so we back the story up yeah yeah it's the thursday night of mus. I've gone to the parade. In this lineup, Mardi Gras lasts about two weeks. Yeah. We are pulling into a Taco Bell right now. Yeah. Why don't we pause and get out? Well, wait. Let me finish my story so I can bring...

Okay. You got to set it up. So that night, we went to a private party after it. And I proceeded to make fun of the bartender. What'd you do? In ear side of him. Actually, just hand me your mic. I'll hop out.

We won't have to stop the recording. Just give me a second. We can wait one second. Okay. So I threw me off. Gigolo. So I, um, you're at Muses lesbian. I go to the Muses parade and then I go walk near near napoleon yeah the intersection of napoleon

and clayborne and i end up going to this party it's a private party it's catered it's got bartenders it was like a frat guys like a rich frat guy that we all kind of mutually knew yeah i was throwing this thing so i go to this party and i'm in the back of the line and i think there's no way the bartender can hear me and i was just going in what did you do i was making fun of him i was like i bet this meathead doesn't even know how to make a gin and tonic i said things like uh i i'm sure this fucking uh the meathead couldn't add 2 plus 2. Who you were eventually served alcohol. I was served alcohol by him.

And what he did in response. Oh, he drugged you. He drugged me. I tested positive. But not in like a gay way. Not in a gay way. He was trying to fuck with you. That's so funny that this guy has Rohypnol for alternative.

And Xanax. But he carries these drugs probably to do horrible things to women but also to get revenge on get revenge on gay guys who yell at him i mean i'm gonna be i don't mean to sound dark uses for the rohypnol i don't mean to sound dark but yeah it's okay it's a spooky episode we can okay yeah i mean like one of my friends is like wipe your butthole and make sure there's no blood. Oh! On that note, let's get out of the car

and get into this. Wait, wait, wait. Let me finish the damn story. So I get drugged. Well, no, because it's going to be important. So I get drugged

at this party. Yeah. And I am like, fucked, fucked, fucked, fucked, fucked, fucked, fucked. And I tell one of my-

Just on alcohol and whatever drugs. Yeah, and like, I used to get really drunk, but clearly, you know, this was like a different level when someone puts Rohypnol and Xanax. Yeah, well, Rohypnol, Xanax, and alcohol, they can kill you. So I say I'm going outside to pee.

Yeah. And an hour goes by. And you poop? No. An hour goes by and no one knows what's happened to me. And I honestly, the last thing I remember is walking outside to pee and then I black out. That's so scary. What happens next, I don't even remember.

So let's get out of the car. Give me your mic. We're getting out of the car. One second, guys. Alright, guys. We're in a Taco Bell parking lot. I'm handing Jock his mic back. Alright, take it away, Ed. So we are at the

Taco Bell parking lot, the 2800 Claiborne location where I was found by police in a ditch. I'm going to go lay in this ditch to simulate what happened. Yeah. I don't see a ditch. just see a fence well it's we're going to the other side come on okay the tj maxx we're walking through the drive-thru right now i don't fuck with taco bell i'll be honest with you oh taco bell is delicious vegetarian mexican pizza well i don't get it okay people love it. You are gonna laugh so hard at this, Ben. At the ditch?

Yeah, and I'm also... It's like... Okay, see how this all swoops down? Yeah. We're gonna walk all the way to the front. Okay, all right, all right.

Watch. Jock and I are connected right now by a Zoom recorder and XLR cords and he keeps pulling me like a bad dog on a leash.

So when I was laying in this ditch, cops came up to me, and clearly because I'm... Is this the ditch? We're coming. In front? Okay, so it is... For the record, I'm sure you can hear the traffic. It is in a major intersection right now where Jock was found.

No one gave a fuck about you because there must have been hundreds of cars passing you so i guess they paved over it but this used to sweep over okay yeah okay look i see so i'm gonna lay down where they got me okay lay down could you hold this for a second jock's putting his telphar on the ground no i'm not putting it on the ground oh psycho putting it on the ground never mind what disgrace don't don't describe me as a villain yeah okay what do you want i'm gonna get him to take could you take some video okay so what i'm about to do is lay down okay what i'm about to do right now is lay down and show you where they found me now this used to be kind of like less sidewalk and have like kind of a

ditch in the middle in the front. So hold on. Jock's getting down on the ground. He is face down, ass up. We can't hear you. You got to talk into the mic, buddy. You have to talk into the microphone for the podcast. He starts touching me from

behind. So I immediately turn around and try hitting the cop. Yeah. That is considered assault on an officer. I believe that is considered assault. You don't want to do that. But it's also kind of entrapment. He shouldn't have woken you up.

We all know that you get really scared when you wake up. Yeah, I mean, they should have known. They should have known. Yeah. So, I mean, they should have known. Yeah. So, I mean, being in this spot right here to be found, I don't even remember this. I'm basing this off of the police report. Can we read the police report?

I don't. I had it destroyed. What do you mean you had it destroyed? I had the records removed from public, and I had my... Huh? How? The former Freddie... Shane LaHood? No hood no oh that's the doctor

you're so stupid freddie king freddie king the uh descendant of the the martin of martin luther king oh no no come this way let's go civil rights attorney why are we going in walking into the drive-thru because we're we're All right, you cannot pull on the cord, otherwise you're going to do damage to this recorder. Well, that's an amazing story. So what happened? You punched the cop? You physically assaulted a cop?

Apparently, I physically... You were violently entrapped by a cop. Sorry. That too, but let me tell you this. Okay. Why don't we get in through the same door so we can keep talking? I'm not conscious during this.

Well, we know that yeah you're barely conscious most of the time and we're getting back in the car y'all i'm i'm not conscious actually there's virtually no way i'm conscious and i'll tell you the moment that my consciousness came back to life what was it it was the flash of them taking the arrest picture of me oh i remember this the flash hit me like a brick to the head immediately bringing me back to consciousness and to life yeah and that's the mugshot everyone's seen no no again no no this is the mugshot that i've had removed from all records okay i truly have never looked more fucked up in a picture my mom cried when

she saw it she had to pick me up from jail so she had to drive from laffey to come get you no she was already here thank god um so they had the flash of them taking the picture and And I was like, oh, my God. And I see people in orange suits in front of me. And I'm like, oh, my God. And I turn back around. And you know what? I noticed that background. I knew that background.

And the reason. The Taco Bell. No, I'm talking about now I'm in jail. I'm kidding. So I looked at the back. And I was like, oh, my God. This is where Nicolas Cage got his arrest picture. I'm an OPP.

I'm in Orleans Parish Prison. And now I guess we should just go to Orleans Parish Prison. Really? Yeah. Let's go. Oh, my God. We're going to prison, y'all. We're going to prison.

I'm going to show you. We're going to prison. Well, I remember we've gotten into this exact incident on the podcast before. But it's one thing to hear it while we're in the physical, you know, space where this happened. I touched the ground when I got out and I said, Do I have dirt on my back still? Something terrible has happened here. No, there's no dirt on your back.

You also laid on your stomach, by the way. Okay, also, incredible detail. Yeah. So, when the people are admitting you, I don't even think actually, there wasn't orange suits. Who was in orange suits? The inmates? I think maybe there were some inmates in orange suits, but I'll tell you this. Who else would have been in orange suits?

We wore our own clothes, for sure, because I remember this. Yeah. We were just booked for the night. There's so much volume going in that they can't search every single person's pockets well enough. Yeah, I believe that. Well, it was Mardi Gras. Yes, the first guy I was talking to, I'm still in this. And if you get arrested during Mardi Gras, you have to stay in until Monday.

So I was arrested at the seg uh there's two main weeks of mardi gras and i was in the first week and if you get arrested you don't get you don't get out till the thursday after mardi gras which even if you get arrested like in a three-week period yeah you're fucked yeah um so i'm first of all i feel incredibly strange because i've been drugged and I am waking up in a fucking jail. Yeah. And the first guy that starts talking to me, my eyes are blurry and I'm like trying to

refocus. Oh, I remember this. And then I look at him like closer and he has a swastika on his forehead. And to make this kind of scarier, he's disclosing to me how he's just taken 10 tabs of acid. I can see the superdome. The cops did not search him well enough. And him and his friend split the 20 tabs of acid that they had left. The tripping Nazi.

So this guy's going to be stuck in jail on 10 hits of acid with his friend. So I was freaked out. And I was like, i can't talk to anyone this is i'm about to get i'm about to get inducted or beaten up or something horrible so i'm like but something feels off physically i was like something really feels missing so what do you mean my head felt weird i felt like something was like wrong my head felt like a piece of your head was missing yeah so i looked in the mirror and my fuck my front tooth was fucking gone oh my god my front if you look directly at my smile i do know that i do know that feeling i've chipped a tooth and

it does feel like part of your head is missing i want you to know it was gone down to the root broken down to the oh my god well that's like nerve pain dude it it was horrible probably the only reason i didn't wasn't in like severe pain the morning of waking up in jail was because i had you had been drugged yeah yeah he kind of did you a favor and i so i reach into my pockets after this and there's this moment of deep deep deep deep nervous. I feel these discs in my pocket and I'm like, oh my God. I have seven grams of hash in my pocket. Yeah. In these little plastic discs.

Luckily, you have to kind of have this little special key to open the plastic disc to get to the hash. So they look like coins. Like fake coins. like toy coins crazy so but they're green with like the hash so did you smoke it did you macgyver away i'm telling you i went back home that day did you eat any no i went to the girl's house that i was staying with yeah and she was like jock where have you been all night i've been drunk and i know and i'm like look at me my tongue is missing i've been in jail all night which is that tooth fake this one yeah wait i have a fake tooth on the same spot brothers my my brother punched me in the face and i i um cracked half my tooth open i wish i could have seen that okay wait it was

pretty funny side note this is the pickled meat tips place. Wait, should we stop? Should we do a food stop? Home of New Orleans famous pickled tips. Michael, you want to try a pickle tip? This place, Fast Stop Specialty Beats, home of New Orleans famous pickled tips. Before we go to jail, let's have some pickled meat.

Before we go to jail, we like a little bit of happiness so we are at the intersection in new orleans right by what is this like the sewage processing it looks like it there's just like giant corner if you know the the corner of martin luther king martin junior boulevard and like 4th. South Broad. Or South Broad. South Broad and Eve. And then you go a little bit further to the corner of South Broad and 4th. Right in front of there, we've got the Fast Stop Specialty Meats. Home of New Orleans famous pickled tips. Ew. I mean, it sounds good, but also like, that sounds like a dick cut off at the tip.

Yeah, it's not a... It's at the tip yeah it's not uh it's almost appetizing because it sounds so gross it must be good you know what i mean um well do you want to record in this place this does not look like this is like a place we shouldn't record here let's let's just let's take a break um and we'll be back um with the pickled meat tips we are back um we've got an update about the pickled meat while jock secures his french fries um it's hard so it turns out that pickled meat is more of like a brined meat um it's pickled and then you have to cook it. So we were not going to get a bag of raw meat to eat in the car. But it does sound interesting

and I do want to try it. I got a chicken sandwich and Jack got extra large fries at this place. It was pretty lit. It's a full box of French fries. We're talking here. Full styrofoam clamshell. So we are in, what mid-city on two lane

yeah we are off two lane avenue in mid-city and we are put whipping the whip around getting to the front of orleans parish prison opp yeah you know me is that what the it's the song the song is about actually it wasn't about other people's pussy, after all. It was actually about... Can you sit up? I think you might be on my phone. Interesting. I don't have it. Well, it doesn't really matter. It's right there. You're welcome. I'm always a finder and a fixer. Ben has a lot of issues

that he needs fixed in his life, and I'm here constantly. You lose things constantly, so I guess you're a finder in the way you're finding things more often than me. But there is a really beautiful building to the left of us that says, this is a government of law, not men. And it says, law and order embossed in concrete. Kind of brutalist, romantic building. So romantic.

I feel like sparks. I could imagine kissing someone in front of here. Yeah. A lot of the windows are paneled up. Is this an operating building? Yeah, look at the lights on inside. It's fucked up in there, dude. But so

OPP, Jock, you know me. You woke up there. So I wake up from the flash of them taking the picture i immediately turned backwards i noticed that this is the same background as nicholas cage's arrest picture from his debaucherous activities shut up sorry we were getting honked at so we were being honked we are pulling in front of opp i i'm arrested there i flash wake up yeah i talked to the man with the the the inappropriate mark on his forehead to this yes and then we i um

discovered my tooth is missing and then luckily my mom was right on it and called my, rest in peace, my beautiful, perfect old lawyer, Freddie King Jr. Who is dead. Very dead. Dead, dead in the ground. How did he die? Probably heart attack. Natural causes. What's a natural cause? A gun shot

to the head. In New Orleans, being shot is a natural cause of death. I'm not sure actually really how he died. No disrespect to my man who got me. This is the courthouse. The courthouse is right next door. It's pretty. Yeah, they just send you, they kick you right over.

We got blares and bail bonds on the side. So, I mean, that's the end of the story. Basically. No, no, no. That's not the end of the story. Okay, well, what else happened? So, I am waiting for about five or six hours inside of this waiting room with the nazi and another two-lane kid whispers to me he's like hey um and i was like so weird are you guys he was like are you shocked i was like yeah he's like okay thank god for freddie king is our lawyer too and he wanted us to tell you that he's coming and so freddie king has like enough pool in town to

get us out of the you know the place the holding my mom is of course mortifying and is driving me back to the girl that i've been sleeping with seeing. There's someone running for attorney general in New Orleans named Lindsay Cheek. Do you see that sign? Oh, Lindsay Cheek's back at it again. Cheeky Lindsay. So do you want to walk to the front? To where?

The courthouse or the prison? Where that was released for the prison. Well, what do you think? Yeah. Okay, let's do it. Just slide out your door and I'll follow you. I need to move your hulking Telfar bag. What did you even need to bring that's this big?

What do you think? My dabs. Oh my God, you had to bring your dabs with you? I have to do a dab at the cemetery. Can you hold the Zoom recorder? Don't touch any buttons. And hold my mic for a second. We'll be...

All right. Give it back. Give it back. Give it back. Give it back. Are we recording still? Yes, we are recording still. Okay.

So we're walking past the courthouse that... Ben is kind of right. It does have a sort of appeal. There's a romance. There's a romance to it. Like many buildings in New Orleans, you know. But we are walking to where exactly? We're walking past a bus stop,

walking past the beautiful picture of Lindsay Cheek, who is running for Attorney General. We're walking past the exit, one of the exit points. I'm going to be honest. I don't think I'd vote for Lindsay Cheek. She's got kind of a fucked up face to her. She looks a little evil. Oh, Lindsay Cheek. Look's got kind of a fucked up face to her. She looks a little evil. Oh, Lindsay Cheek.

Look at fucking Morris Bart up here. Morris Bart is the most famous lawyer attorney in New Orleans. Morris Bart. Yeah, look at him up here. He donates a lot of money to the Pelicans. Okay, so. Oh, we should go to the Pels game on Saturday. We already have tickets.

We already got us. We do? Yeah, I got us tickets. Okay, we have to go in costume so we can get on the Jumbotron. Yeah, but I already. I'm going to get on the Jumbotron. You're not going to get Okay, we have to go in costume so we can get on the Jumbotron. Um, yeah, but I already I'm gonna get on the Jumbotron. You're not gonna get on the Jumbotron. I'm gonna get on the Jumbotron. We almost just hit by this late fucking Karen, bitch. Maybe be a little careful

in the garage. No, I'm like, I so want to get hit by a car for a personal injury lawsuit, dude. It doesn't work like that here. I know like three women who are getting big settlements from personal injury lawsuits. Okay. Bar bar offense. Okay, so right now.

Let's go back here so we can get out of the way. Okay, so we are at the Criminal District Court South Broad Street entrance where Freddie King had to go in, sweet talk, use his connections. He goes inside. His building literally looks abandoned. The door is being held open with a crumpled chewed up traffic cone he makes a deal with

me and the other Tulane kids the Tulane kids I don't go to Tulane get us all out well I did technically live in the dorm for two and a half weeks when I was fucking someone well it's more squatting

you can't you didn't you don't go to a school if you just squat in someone's dorm that's not two dorms actually we back to back well maybe that's a degree and then i moved in with the girls but um there's razor rings of razor wire there's literally an old school guard tower new ireland's is such a crazy place dude so i would not be surprised if there's a stripper slash fried chicken and waffles store in the prison shut the fuck up okay so they're all combo places like that here so we go so i freddy king gets us all out he takes us through this exit and at the end my mom is waiting for me with this utter face of disappointment. She's on her knees crying, screaming up at the sky.

It was a bright sun. Lord, why'd you give me this fucked up envy, son? Why, God? So I'm like, you know, you have to walk out kind of past to get to where your car is. And you kind of have to walk around the front side of this building. Yeah. And you can imagine this walk with my mom. We are on the side of the perimeter of OPP right now.

Yeah. And the... Okay, not there literally being a men's lounge across the street. I was... Whatever. Oh, my God. It's called Da Spot. D-A.

Locked. Da Spot. We should go. Let's... Where are we going now? I'm showing you the spot. We should go. Um, let's... Where are we going now? We're showing you the exit. Okay. So there's an exit.

There's a big door. The scary-ass fucking door is where they bring you out. If you're lucky, though, which, this is the normal entrance. Yeah. Back here is where... The VIP.

Literally. That's where Nicholas Cage got let out where you gotta get out the back way okay let's get the fuck out of here car i'm gonna stop the recording because i don't know if this traffic will be too loud guys we'll be right back with another location and a brand new story all right jock we're back jock was just eating ketchup off of a styrofoam box so it didn't make this first of all i was licking yeah um ketchup off of a styrofoam box that was on the floor isn't that what did i say well maybe that was what you said i was just ready to correct you yeah i think that's what i said i'm pretty sure i could be wrong um but jock's got jocks got one last thing he wants to

say about the story before we wrap it up and get to a new one so my mom in this mortified state is driving me back to the girl's house that I was staying with sort of seeing sleeping with and I'm like

mom I gotta go there because like she was expecting me to come to her house after this party she's like jock I stayed up all night waiting for you

what happened and I open my mouth i pointed my blank tooth of my missing tooth your blank tooth and i'm like i was arrested for public drunkenness and resisting an officer and was drugs and i was drugged and i wouldn't believe that part though if i was her and i felt in this like very like fucked up, groggy state from the drugs the night before. And so my immediate solution was, I'm just going to take 15 ginseng pills at once. And then, if you don't know ginseng, it makes you way too horny. It makes you really horny.

It makes you so horny. Jock was trying to give me a ginseng pill earlier, and I said, no, thank you. And he got mad at me. Yeah, because he doesn't want to live. I was wondering why you were trying to give me a ginseng pill earlier and i said no thank you and he got mad at me yeah because he doesn't wonder why you were trying to make me horny man i just wanted you to be more focused and energized since you have a slow lethargic kind of like like glacial temperament to where the way you move and speak and i was just trying to speed's true, but whatever. Okay, so anyway, the deal was is that I took these 15 ginseng pills and then smoked a gram of hash, like put it in a pipe and smoked it until it was gone in order to escape the pain of what I had just suffered.

And then we had sex 10 times. I came 10 times after jail because I thought, I better get ready in case I have to go back to jail. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. And that was it. I just had to leave that little detail that after a night

of reckoning and pain, God gave me pussy to make me feel better. Thank you, God, for that thank god amen so where are we going now so we are you want to stop is this you want to stop for just one second why because i just need a second all right guys we're back um oh my god it's the same gay guy no it's not this is a gay guy It could be the same gay guy, though.

No, he traveled too fast. I was going to say, we've gone too far, unless he's a time traveler. So we are crossing right now the intersection of Coliseum and I believe St. Charles or Magazine. Watch out. There's a car. Yeah, I can't get hit by another car again. So there's gay guys. These gay guys are definitely here for the Ryan Murphy.

Yeah. Gay Latinos and white shooters. So, I mean, there's not really much to say about this. I haven't seen the show. Jock has seen the show. You're a weakling for not knowing. There's not. There's none of the tourists that are usually here.

We're in a pretty touristy part of New Orleans. We're off Magazine Street. I think Solange lives around here. We're in a pretty touristy part of New Orleans. We're off Magazine Street. I think Solange lives around here. No? Wrong. Wrong. Stupid, stupid. Is it Jennifer Coolidge that lives around here? Again, wrong. Again, she doesn't live in this part of town.

In front of the American Horror Story Coven House, there is a mosaic tile, and it says in the front of it from education okay can you not walk away when i'm trying to read from education as the leading cause the public character it color draws it's colored i mean to you nothing i'm confused i don't really i don't read so there's um security dogs on premise i wonder how wonder how many women have had their throats ripped out by a pit bull. No, I don't see a fucking dog in sight.

It don't look like... Oh, my God. What's this? Is this a tourist thing? The tourist group is... They're about to unload. Yeah, and there's people looking up at us. They're about to unload.

So there's security dogs on premises. I wonder how many people have tried to get in here that they've had to hire security dogs. It's a super phenomena of people. Violators will be prosecuted. I do know a girl I used to go to high school with. That pit bull loves seeing a little gay guy because it knows it's going to get a meal. Like a twink. Yeah. Eat the twinks.

Sliding through these gates. Leave the others. Okay. like a twink yeah eat the twinks sliding through these leaves leave the others okay um the i have a friend of mine in high school was one of the extras in the show yeah and she's been inside the house um honestly the house is kind of boring oh my god for for a place in new orleans that's so beautiful in new orleans i want to show you something. If you've seen the show, we are facing the direct front gate of this residence. And if you look at the very center piece, they replaced it so they could do a... You see how the middle one is kind of like brighter than the other ones? Yeah.

They replaced it because in the TV show show they have a girl who gets stabbed through that the tourist bus just drove away no there was a cop car pulling up we should go a cop car just parked on the opposite side so what we're on the sidewalk they'll make you a big deal

do people live here? yeah people live here there's a private residence no soliciting no loitering a big deal about it. Do people live here? Yeah, people live here. That's hilarious. It's a private residence. It says it on the... Private residence, no soliciting, no loitering. Fuck you guys.

Why would you choose to buy that house, idiots? Yeah, you fucking idiots. This belongs to American Horror Story fans, not your little prick asses. This belongs to America, exactly.

Hilarious I haven't seen this show. And by the way... I mean, honestly, to be completely honest For an area of New Orleans that has beautiful homes This one is kind of just like meh to me Yeah it's pretty timid

Right? I don't like to down talk There's nothing that much special about it Oh my god we're running Alright well we will be back Shortly with another report Bye guys All right, well, we will be back shortly with another report. Bye, guys. Just text me and I'll pull back around. Okay.

All right, I'm closing the door. We're here. Jock, there you go. Thank you. Hello. Why don't you describe what we see here? It's a beautiful, sunny day. A beautiful graveyard awaits for us to see.

It's all white, concrete, cracked underneath our feet. How do you describe the burial process in New Orleans? Well, it's all above ground. Look at this grave that says Papa. Can you? Yeah. So they're all... Just keep talking about what we're seeing.

So, I mean, it's a very quaint looking, very... All the graves are above ground. Unassuming graveyard. No one's buried underground because of the seawater level. It doesn't look like anything weird here. It's beautiful. It's all white, marbled, a lot of cement. Let's...

Should we... Wow, it's beautiful. Is this the mausoleum? Yes, this is it. It's in memoriam of the Gross family. The disgusting family mausoleum. And it is locked. It's incredibly locked.

Wait, this is not the right side. Oh, this is not the mausoleum. This is not the right one. Genius. Is it that tower there? Maybe that's it. That looks more like it. There?

Maybe that's it. That looks more like it. It's a service vehicle who's being driven by a guy who does not look happy with us recording this cemetery. But we do want to say that we mean no disrespect to the dead or to the Gross family. Of course not. Even though I just made a joke about them. Jock is throwing his being out on a grave.

I'm not throwing it out on a grave. Maybe is it back here? You know, I got into a fight with a gravedigger one time oh my god we told him he should be automated i've talked about that on the podcast before though it was pretty funny um and i do feel like i was in the right for that this is not have you ever been haunted before oh of course i've been haunted before i just spent a lot of time having sex in graveyards. Okay, which graveyards? Just hanging out in graveyards. I've had sex in graveyards too. That's kind of a feature of

gay teen. Oh, I used to work for this graveyard too. Well, we've talked about the abortion memorial. Let's talk about a fresh one. There was a good time we were all three guys. Yeah, we haven't talked about the sex in graveyards. Well, that's not what I'm talking about. Oh, okay. Haunted. We were doing a about the sex in graveyards. I'm not talking about the sex right now. We were doing a seance

and all of our candles pointed in the middle of us. Where were you? Where was the seance? In the middle of the graveyard. Which graveyard? I just said it. Which Catholic graveyard? In New Orleans? In Lafayette? In Lafayette and downtown.

Did you not just hear me say that? Oh my lord. Sometimes it's like I'm not even here. So anyway, I'm in this graveyard with these three guys. We're doing a seance. We all have candles lit. And we're saying a prayer and trying to invoke something. And, whoa,

come and look at this picture. What was the prayer? Should we try to invoke something now? No, we're not gonna do that. It's not safe. What was the prayer? I'm not gonna say it. Was it a satanic prayer? No. It was just a fucking prayer to get the fucking... Well, why can't you say a prayer if it's a prayer to God? Because I'm...

Shut the fuck up. It's just not appropriate to say it. You don't remember it. I remember it. You're being a little bitch. You're the one who's being a little bitch. Oh, God. I'm just...

I'm trying to make some content for the show. And you won't give me any details. I'm trying to give you the details. Here. Okay. Keep telling me about it. Shut your so anyway we're in the three in the graveyard we're doing this seance we all have these candles lit and we said this prayer and all three of our candles pointed to one in one direction not because of the wind but it was like a arrow leading us like a compass so we followed the flames all pointed in a certain direction so we followed the the uh

the flames in the one direction we walked about less than 50 feet and we ended up at this urn that was broken down the middle and we just passed a broken urn that's spooky there was no name on it and on the grave was the grave was whatever like worn out you couldn't see what it was yeah and we got close to the urn which looked black inside you could not see the bottom was there anything in it just empty empty and then was there stuff there stuff around it that had been recently smashed? No, no, no. Just listen. As soon as we get over it, we looked inside of it, and all three of us heard the loudest scream

and then lightning at the same time. What the hell? It was very, very sweet. Like a woman's scream? Like a shriek? Like the loudest scream you ever heard in your entire life. Can you do one? Hold the mic for me.

Do it, do it, do it. No, no, no. Can you describe the tenor of this? Let me just say that it was so frightening between all three of us that we dropped everything that we were holding and ran home.

So, who do you think the scream was from? A ghost? The ghost of the person in that urn. I guess. I don't know. We were contacting the wrong people. I think this... Yeah, that looks like it might be it. So we went... This graveyard is actually divided into two parts.

Look, that's you when you get... That's your name. Where... That's your name. Where? That's your name when you get buried. Dora P. Hatier, because you hate. I'm not a hater. Because you're a hatier. You're the hatierest hatier.

I'm a very nice, calm person. Oh, Campo Santo. What's that mean? Campo Santo? Yeah. I don't know. Campo Santo. Well, Saint. Santo. It's like the saint yard. Oh, my God. Campo Santo. Well, Saint Santo.

It's like the Saint Yard. Oh my God, this is it. Look how beautiful. We're looking at what looks like a tiny miniature. Come on, come on. Describe what we're looking at here. The most beautiful tiny church with glass windows covered

and screen on the outside to protect them where you can't even see the glass. And it's locked. What the fuck? Let's read it. The National Shrine of St. Rock. Patron saint of miraculous cures in fulfillment of vow 1875. Let's keep walking around and see if there's an entrance.

That's so sad. It's locked. What the fuck? Let us see the amputee legs. We're going to have to break in, dude. We're going to have to call. Call who? We're going to have to call

the people who are running the fucking foundation that own this thing. Tell them to let us in. Oh my God, this is where the McDonald's logo is. This is not where the McDonald's logo is.

You're being... It's on one of these, isn't it? That's in Lafayette. Oh, yeah. That is in Lafayette. Oh, my God. Actually, it's in New Iberia. It's in Lafayette.

I thought it was in New Iberia. It's in Lafayette. I know my graveyards. Okay. Oh, my God. Good God. You're so touchy today. I'd appreciate it if you could treat me with some kindness.

We're in a graveyard, after all. Oh, God. Okay. Oh, my God. There's a hat here left with this memorial that says Bupa Memorial and a B-U-P-P-A Memorial 2022. And there's a beautiful little like fake dog urn.

Is that how you say it? Bupa? Yeah. Bupa? Some only dream of angels. We've held one in our arms. That's so sad. Jesus Christ, that's sad. That has kind of cool. That baby's great in our arms. That's so sad. Jesus Christ, that's sad.

That has kind of cool, though. No, it's not. Yes, that right there, it says one day, the baby would die on the same day, Jack Andrew. I don't know if it means that the baby died in one day. I'm telling you. Some only

dream of angels. We've held one in our arms. It's about a mis Some only dream of angels. We've held one in our arms. It's about a miscarriage. Jack Andrew. We've held one in our arms? You don't hold a miscarriage in your arms. And it's not one day. It's just that we've held one in our arms. The angel is the one.

The one isn't about a day or duration of time. I'm telling you right now. That's what they do. I'm telling you from personal, that's what they do. I'm telling you from personal experience. Jack Andrew Tweedy, March 26, 2017. When you list one... So, yeah, there's just one date

listed on there. So, yeah, I guess he died. But it doesn't say one day. It just says we've held one in our arms. There's just one date on it. This one is... Don't make me look up this poor boy's obituary. Don't do that. I'm not arguing with you about that. This one's crazy.

It just says Ha. Look, it just says Ha. H-A. Do you see that? On the broken grave, it just says Ha. It says Ha Schmidt. The last name.

Let's walk around some world. Let's read some tombstones. I knew someone. Do you have a family plot like this? Their Gonsolin mausoleum? No. I don't know. Where do you want to be buried?

In Lafayette. In like one of these. So there's like a. I want to be buried in that same graveyard that I worked at. That'd be cute. So in New Orleans, some of the graveyards are kind of like stacked um almost like morgue style um on top of each other they're really pretty um it seems like they're mostly all beautiful heart-shaped grave there's a beautiful heart-shaped grave there's a lot of uh fake flowers left out that are let's walk back to that dang church i'm gonna see if there's a lot of fake flowers left out that are... Let's walk back to that dang church. Let's walk back to that dang church.

We're going to see if there's a phone number so that we can call someone. Whoever... Customer service at St. Rock Cemetery. Grace for impact. Someone has to... Huge, huge attack headed your way. Stop. Don't say it.

Don't say it. Okay, let's pretend like I'm them. Call me. No. Don't say it. Don't say it. Okay, let's pretend like I'm them. Call me. Yeah, come on. Let's do it. Hi, my name is Jacques Gonsolin. I work with a travel blog and we just wanted to see the inside.

What's your blog called? This is Jimmy and Janny's adventure blogs. Okay. What can I help you with today? Did you see that? Why is he tied up? Oh, that's

Joan of Arc. Did you see this little statue behind us too? This guy's got Jesus whispering in his ear and they got two babies. What do you think he's saying to Jesus? Please come on, babe. i'm sorry i did it i'm sorry i'm sorry i did that babe you can't pull the mic jog please be careful with the equipment where are we going you don't want to call him i am want to call i want to find the number on here

do you please stop laughing out at me for asking questions? Well, look at that one. That broken one? It's totally falling apart. You can tell. So what are you going to say? What are you going to say to them on the phone?

Excuse me, but we are interested in seeing the inside of the amputee mausoleum. You know why they probably locked it up? Because they knew we were coming? Because people have been stealing the limbs. Oh my god, no. Do you know

the sad thing about that is? About what? About stealing the limbs? Or about it being locked? About the resale of vintage prosthetic limbs. Is that a big market? Like on Depop? One of those in there, Ben, could sell for

$10,000. Who's buying it? Collectors? Oddities. Freaks? Oddities. You know they have those fucking oddities. Ripley's Believe It or Not style shit. Yeah. Oddities collectors. Let's see if in the very front there might be some kind of information.

Look at these two little towers in the front. Guard towers. There's got to be a nearby guy who runs this place. They usually hire people who live in it. Well, there was that guy in that utility vehicle. Should we ask him? Well, I think he drove away.

He also didn't seem very happy to see us here. Let's see, there's a sign away. He also didn't seem very happy to see us here. Let's see. There's a sign there. Attention contractors and no. It doesn't look like there's... It looks like everything is totally and completely locked. St. Rock Cemetery gate hours. There's that number.

Oh, my God. You're going to call them. All right. I'm going to have to record this call. Would you put it on speakerphone? Yeah, sure. Let's go. Let's get out of the wind so we can hear it. This is going to call them. Alright, I'm going to have to record this call. Would you put it on speakerphone? Let's get out of the wind so we can hear it. It's going to be an amazing call. Guys, you're going to hear one of Jock's famous

customer service calls in the wild and it is for a cemetery. Speaker. Susan Ladner is not available to take your call. Leave a message after the tone.

Press the pound key to end recording. Hi. The message recording. Fuck. Let's call her again. Maybe she'll answer this time. Yeah, call her again. Hi. Fuck. Let's call her again. Maybe she'll answer this time. Yeah, call her again. Call that bitch again.

Susan. Coward. That mailbox is probably full of people asking. Susan Ladner. Oh, okay. She is not available to take your call. She hung up on, she blocked our call. Because that wasn't a full call.

Hi, Susan. This is Jacques. I am with a travel blog wanting to report and do a little bit of audio recording inside of the St. Rock Amputee Mausoleum. I went as a young child and I just wanted to briefly show a friend. You don't have a limb. You don't have a limb. None. Thank you so much.

Bye. Ben is trying to, don't ever, see, If she hears that in the back of the call, do you think she's going to take us seriously, Ben? You're going to ruin her chance. Bitch, she is not responding to us. I'm calling her back until she answers. You're going to call her again? Let's fucking go.

Jesus Christ. Don't snicker in the background. It's fine. Speak up. Perhaps be positive. Listeners can it. Perhaps speak about it. Listeners can hear. Don't ignore us, you fucking bitch. See, Jock hates when he gets ignored.

Especially when it's... Susan Ladner. Jock, do you know what this means? Leave a message after the tone. Press the pound key to end recording. Hi, Susan. This is Jock, Do you know what this means? Hi, Susan. This is Jacques, and I would really like to get in contact.

I've been trying to call for a few days now. Please let me know. My phone number is 337-296-1249. Please call me back immediately. Jacques, I've been begging you not to dox your phone number on this show. Oh, fuck. You're going to have to get the timestamp for this one. Talk to Max, bro. What do you think?

You can't just tell me the time on there right now? We have seven different recordings. It's 30 minutes and 22 on Zoom 2 and Folder 10. I'll tell Max about that. You're calling her again? Calling a different number. Thank you for calling the New Orleans Catholic Cemeteries. For tourism, please call 504-777-3027

or visit cemeterytourneworleans.com. At any time during this message, you may press 0. Okay, I'm going to call it again. You need to write down that number. Why do you think I have a pen and paper? You don't have one? I thought you brought one. I'll write it on my notes.

Catholic Cemetery. Hi, this is Jacques Gonsolin. I'm currently at the St. Rock Cemetery. I'm currently at the St. Rock Cemetery. And I remember when I was younger coming here and seeing the mausoleum with the amputee limbs and the old prosthetic limbs from the 1800s. And I am here right now and I was wondering if there's going to be any time when the actual mausoleum itself is going to be open. itself is going to be open. It's completely locked and this is the third day we've come here trying to see

it. There is a window that you can look through on the side. I do know they keep the chapel closed due to some renovations. Okay. Well, is there anyone we could speak to about seeing this space privately? I mean, we're, we're willing to make a small donation to the Catholic Church in order to make this possible. We just really want to see, you know, I really want to.

One moment. Yes, ma'am. Bribing an official. She's, she's said she's hooking us up with OPP. They're going to come arrest us. Good job. This is the full graph of drop

on customer service employees. Well, not really. This is only a portion of what you're capable of. No, it's amazing. I mean, it's doing great stuff for the show. What do you think is going to happen? How beautiful the iron fence is with this weird design.

Who do you think she's transferring us to? Sniper. Chris Kyle, who's on top of the Superdome right now. Do you think she's transferring us to a priest or something now. Do you think she's transferring us to a priest or something? Or do you think she's asking? Let's go see if we can look through the window. Let's go look for the van guy.

She's going to have us on hold. Oh my god, we can't get locked in there. Oh my god, that's right. It's about to close. What if we get locked in the cemetery? Have you ever been locked in a cemetery? It's very scary. When were you locked in a cemetery?

It's a game. It's a game it's a game yeah when when did it happen what cemetery we've got a doll oh my god there's a oh my god and it says mother mother doll a family with the last name doll amil b doll that's such a drag queen name amelia b doll it's a giant giant above ground grave made of marble that says doll on it then this is the national mother by the way now so now we're facing from far away the... It's called the National Shrine of St. Rock. Yeah. Come on. Wow.

The doll. The doll mausoleum. I wish all of our episodes had music like this in the background. I think it would be so much more interesting. There's a bunch of Modelo cans in that urn. Look at those big hands. I want to be touched. You know what that means?

Fingernails. Yeah. My mic came unplugged, but I just plugged it back in. I'm sure all the audio is fine. I think it just slid out. Let's see if we can get into the window. Just look in the window.

Because, as you can hear, we're still on hold. What window was she talking about? Oh, the stained glass window? Oh, yeah, we can definitely see it through there. Yeah, we can definitely see through this one. Victoria, or whatever the hell your name is. She doesn't know what she's talking about. Sorry about that.

The chapel is open on the first Friday of every month from 11 to 12. Okay. Well, is there anyone we could speak to about being able to see that chapel? Because that time schedule is almost impossible. We're in from out of town filming and recording our experiences, and we're trying to put this in a travel book. And we only need about 10, 15 minutes in there just to observe and record.

It's not about haunting. It's nothing disrespectful. We just really want to... Hold on one moment. She hates us so much. We're back. Be careful. The mic keeps sliding out.

I got him locked in, but... Oh, fuck. Transferring us to... Because there's no window you can... You've reached Sherry Pepo, Executive Director of the New Orleans Catholic Cemeteries. Please leave a message and I'll return your call. If you call in regards to scheduling a burial or purchasing cemetery property, please dial

Worth making a... Yeah. 5-9-6-3-0-5-0. Thank you and God bless. Hi, this is Jacques Mora and I'm here at the St. Rock Graveyard trying to see the National Shrine of St. Rock, which is now, as I've been informed, only available one Friday of the month. did when i was younger my parents used to take me here and now i run a travel blog and i would just love to showcase this beautiful catholic uh space you know in all of its glory so please let me know please call me back at 337-296-1249 you gotta stop doing that man I'm not doing it on purpose She has your number

Do you know how phones work? It's gonna say your number I know but It doesn't But now I gotta listen back to this You're gonna have to listen back to this dude No come on Hey I told you to stop saying your phone number

No but like you're literally I'm having to leave phone numbers for this action. You can do the extra work. I believe that you can get it done. I don't. That sucks, dude. What the hell? I'd rather just give them my phone number. Hey, that's on you. That's your life.

So, I mean, kind of a big fucking flop. Sorry, guys. That was all on speaker. Say that again? I mean, kind of a big fucking flop. Sorry, guys. We can't even... Say that again? That was all on recording on her message. It didn't stop recording. God damn it!

Well, now we're never... Now we're never getting in. She heard all of it. Well, don't call her back. Call Michael. Well, guys, that was a big flop. she heard all of it you're calling well don't call her back call him michael well guys that was a big flop we're back at the front that was a big flop but you know we had some fun um the looks like there's some human poop outside here um that's animal poop my sorry that's animal poop um well look guys we tried our best we tried to do our they're calling us back oh my god hi this is

jacques gonsolin hi yes i was curious about any other availability to see the saint rocks national shrine um before uh the first fr Friday of the month. There's absolutely no way to make a donation to the Catholic Church in order to see this space for 10, 15 minutes? The cemetery is closed to the public. Okay. And it's only open the first Friday of every month for mass, and then there will be open all days for all saints. Now, if you're trying to do recording or reporting,

you would have to speak to the media advisor to see what she can do to accommodate you in that aspect. Okay, well, thanks so much. Have a wonderful day. Man, fuck you, bitch. Oh, Jock just hung up on him. Brutal. Brutal.

I'm pissed, y'all. Jock out. You're done? Jock's. I mean, we can wrap it up. Let's get in the car. Jocks mad. I mean, that guy,

the last guy was like a pretty sassy gay Cajun black guy. I was not going to talk back to him. She's like, the woman was like, you look through the windows. And then they said they're only open the first Friday of the month from 11 to 3. This is where our tax dollars go.

And they don't even let us see the freak amputee ghost mausoleum. I feel like if it was open all the time, all the amputee stuff would be stolen. Yeah. That was the other thing I was bringing up. Because those limbs are worth a lot. Those limbs are worth a lot. Vintage limbs and vintage rock shirts. Sell those on Depop.

Sell for a lot. So, well and vintage rock shirts. Sell those on Depop. Sell for a lot. So, well, guys, we can sign off. What do you think? Au revoir. Thank you all for listening to our special Halloween show. My little sweet potatoes. We appreciate it. And, yeah, have a spooky Halloween, I guess.

To all my jackals, have a haunted Halloween. Your Jackals. Oh, and I forgot your fans. Yeah, that's what we're calling them now. Again, why not Jockles? I've explained this. I'll explain it one more time since you kind of take it. No, I think I know your understanding.

No, no, no, no. I think you didn't get it, so I'll just really quickly help you. Okay. Jackal was my family nickname yeah i know that and why would i because it's changed on your name yeah but that doesn't it doesn't jackals doesn't roll off the tongue jackals well that's just a word that's not a pun well i didn't want to most like fan most fan faces are like kind of a pun. So Lady Gaga's little monsters, lambs are Mariah Carey.

So it does definitely make sense for it to be. I guess it does make sense in that way. You're right. Charlie XCX fans, they're just called mentally ill. Nice joke. Got him. Okay. Thank you guys so much for listening.

We signed off prematurely, but Jock just mentioned something, and I told him that we had to record this. We're going to make sure, Jock, I just want to confirm with you right now, no names. Let's just come up with a fake name for this person right now so we don't say her real name. Linda. Woman. Will that be easy for you to remember? If you tell the story, you call her woman?

Linda woman. Limit. Let's call her limit. Lemon. Lemon. Let's call her lemon. Lemon woman. Okay.

Let's just call her lemon. I used to know this lemon girl, and now she's a lemon woman. She was a lemon woman then, I guess. So she's always been a lemon woman, except when she was a lemon girl. Anyway, so. So true. So true. She was someone I knew, friend, I suppose.

And the reason I just brought her up is because our driver, Michael, was just recounting about how some of the witch talk girls from New Orleans were caught stealing bones. Can we talk about that, too? What were they? So, I mean, we're all familiar with witch talk girls from new orleans were caught stealing bones that too what were they what so i mean we're all familiar with witch talk um i was first introduced to them after the 2016 election of trump when they um all tried to put a hex on him and uh it famously worked um wonders yeah um i know like they are into like you know there's there's many different Famously worked wonders. Yeah. I know, like, they are into, like, you know, there's many different kinds of witch talk, I think. But, um. I think they tried to curse Allah once.

I remember. They tried to curse. Wait, sorry. They tried to curse. They tried to curse Allah. And they said he was too powerful. Like Allah? Like. Yeah.

They tried to curse Allah because, I don't know, they were at ola for some reason okay that's crazy so they said not to astral project into his realm because he's too strong yeah there is a lot of there's a lot of like crazy astral projection stuff as well um i remember when another friend of ours um kyla i think we can say her name, she won't care, was visited by the Secret Service because she said that she was going to astral project and kill Barack Obama. I didn't know she said she astral projected. I always thought it was something else.

I didn't know it was that. It was a whole portfolio of things she said. I mean, the Secret Service showed up to her family's house and had to interview her to make sure. I mean, this girl is a very peaceful woman. One of the kindest, most generous, gentlest people.

She was making a joke. It was a parody. She would never hurt anyone. Yeah, of course. So let me get back to... Anyway, so the Wichita girls were... They were stealing bones. And they had, like, finger joints or something.

They had finger joints. Finger joints. Small enough to take, but still powerful. So they had to literally dig into this. Because the thing is here, the graves are not buried underground. They're in little tombs above ground. So they had to break into these tombs.

You have to have a, what do you call that thing that you crank stuff open with? A crowbar? You have to have a crowbar to bust open these things. If not, you have to have a fucking jackhammer. I wonder what they were trying to do with that. I mean, clearly for some kind of spell or something. You use a part of someone's body to channel part of their soul

into the magic. So you're essentially like mutilating someone's soul to use for your own selfish gain. Well, and physically mutilating their corpse. Yeah, which is a disgusting also just despicable Also, just like physically how do you get through that must be very gross well maybe the bones are all clean by now i don't i doubt it

dude i think the ones that i heard about were just like i think like because the ground is just like you know uh in louisiana it's just mud it just kind of goes away eventually i think all the grounds that the graves that used to be underground are kind of above now. Like, it just kind of, the mud goes, like, washes away. And so, were they caught, these witch girls? I think the girl that I'm thinking of,

yeah, I think she got in trouble because she just, you know, doxxed herself. She was bragging. Yeah. So, yeah. Well, let me bring up the story of Lemon Woman.

Lemon Woman. Lemon Woman was someone I knew who was already on a negative decline in her life and her choices. And at this time of her life, she was going through a graveyard in Baton Rouge where she discovered a grave that was cracked open. And then the cracked open part was cracked so large that it exposed the skull of the body buried in this grave yeah it looked like it must have been an old one to her and i don't know what in the god forsaken jesus of all holy things possessed this demon lemon to do this but she removed the skull from the grave, took it home, and kept it for about three or four days.

But this gets a little way crazier. Crazy lemon. Did she have any intentions to do something with this skull? Because this seems like such a crazy thing to do just out of circumstance.

To see a skull and be like, oh, I guess I must take this. She more stumbled upon it. She wasn't hunting for bones. She just wanted it. Yeah, but she didn't leave the house that day saying, oh, I'm going to go to the graveyard and see what bones I can find. No, no, no. She stumbled on a skull and was like, I guess I should take this. She took it home.

She bleached it. She cleaned it up. But that doesn't make it okay. That doesn't do anything. No, no. I'm just like, what a crazy way to do it. Well, let me list the things that started to happen in the time period. Do you know where she was keeping it? I believe just on a shelf.

Like in her room or something? In her living room. And she's not a witch. No. She's never been into that kind of stuff not a witch you know she wasn't she was she was never been into that kind of stuff why do you think she took the school out of sheer mental illness in this thought that she i'm sure her twisted mind thinks that that was a a uh feat of power manic pixie dream girl no she's not even not even no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no she's not even the manic pixie dream i know i'm just kidding she's just a manic lemon yeah she's

just a nightmare lemon so look let me break down what happened in the one week afterwards that this uh the skull was in her house so the night of getting the skull, she was the first time she ever did intravenous heroin. She decided after that to do that. So she says that this is when her bad luck started. I mean, you're choosing to do that. So that's not really like a situation of luck. But things got pretty crazy so she managed to pop two tires on her car that the next morning her one of her windows broke randomly in her house

or something like that she her boyfriend got arrested later that morning. One of her family members had a serious medical issue that came out of seemingly nowhere. She got three car tickets within the 24 hours after taking this skull. Things were going bad, worse and worse every day. By the third day, she had been arrested for, I don't even remember what. It got very, I mean, the circumstances of her life dramatically went from bad to god awful terrible, unimaginable in the quickest amount of time. It was really scary. scary she by the fifth or sixth day she felt like something outside of her life was controlling all this bad circumstances for lemon woman it could have just been herself but there was definitely a direct correlation between stealing this skull and the amount of disgusting horrible things that happen jock's been holding a six day

jock's been holding a flashlight underneath his chin the whole time even though it's broad daylight out after at the very end of this fifth or sixth day she went back to the graveyard drove back from lafayette to baton rouge to return the skull and she says still her life is forever changed and bad luck is forever going to follow her because of this one decision. Well, I mean. And honestly, we shouldn't take a skull. You shouldn't take a skull and. You should leave those things where they are, as I think this shows official stance. I want to round this last little story out

with a little thing called karma. Don't take someone's skull. Don't purposely hurt people. Don't hurt people's feelings. Just be nice. No occupation either. Okay, go. Thank you for sharing that the story ben is like thoroughly

disturbed from the story i'm i'm more just um i don't know it's kind of personal stuff about her that is maybe i don't know oh well okay well we love. It's your life, bro. I guess I'm just entangled in it forever and with the decisions you make. But I think it'll be fine. It'll be fine. People don't listen to this. I wish Lemon Woman all the best. Truly, sincerely. I also wish Lemon Woman a life of happiness and healthiness.

Yes. Success. I wish no ill will. But the lesson, again, in this story is don't take a skull or you're going to be haunted for fuck's sake. Yeah, I think we can agree on that for sure. Is that we hope she has an amazing life. We have no ill will towards this very nice woman. We do hope that no one out there.

We have no ill will against this woman. Jock can speak for himself. I'll speak for myself. And I hope that whatever happened because of her digging up that skull will be forgiven by the higher powers and that she can lead a happy and healthy life. And yeah, guys, don't dig up a skull. If anyone could

DM us what the legal ramifications of exuding a body part such as a skull or something like this. Can you please let us know? Doing what to a body part? Exuding it from the ground? Is that what you're not saying? Yeah, that's right. No, just tell me what it's right.

I thought you said exuming and exuming is wrong. Exuding is right. I, just tell me what it's now. No, that's right. I thought you said exhuming, and exhuming is wrong. Exuding is right. I feel like exhuming is right now. No, it's exuding. Oh, God. When you exhume confidence, for example, that means you're like a really confident person. But when you exude a body, oh, my God, we're passing purple monkey face slap. Oh, my God.

Okay, wait. But when you exhume confidence. I have a place to take us. And you exude bodies. I have a place to take us. That's a personal horror spot. Really? Where? You're going to like it.

Okay. Michael, keep going. Stay on the right side. It's not as far as you're told already. It's, you'll like it. What is it? It's fresh and new. It's going to be a surprise.

Okay, perfect. You're going to like it. You're going to like it. You're going to like it. be a surprise. Okay, perfect. You're going to like it. You're going to like it. You're going to like it. I'm very happy to hear that. You're going to like this one. So, wow, this is going to be a mega episode, but that's fine. It's a lot of fun.

Okay, so the next spot I'm going to be taking y'all, we've had many, many. New Beginnings Missionary Baptist Church? What did you do there? No, no, no. Okay. I will be taking you to a spot I've mentioned many times, which many people might think is a normal place, free from horror and from trouble. But this particular medical institution. Oh, my God.

Is the In-N-Out Urgent Care? I'm taking you to the In-N-Out Urgent Care. That's amazing. Where I have once been misread. I am kind of hungry. Yeah, we're going to get Subway. I was making a joke about how it's also a burger restaurant. I do not want Subway.

Why do you like Subway? That's so strange you like Subway. It's like really delicious. It's like nutritious. No, it's not. It's got meat. It just tastes like cold. There's no flavor.

I love cold sandwiches. And then there's a lot of flavor. So the In-N-Out Urgent Care, have you officially been banned from there? No, I've never been banned from there. What would I have done to be banned from there? Oh, I thought you had to go to a new Urgent Care because they weren't taking care of you anymore. No, I was supposed to go to a new Urgent Care this or the urgent care I've been going to for months. The Sonic and it drive in and out.

We should carve pumpkins. This in and out urgent care. Once I went to get an STD diagnosis and when they called, they told you at HIV, they called me and read to me a list of STIs that were. It was not just one. It was like syphilis. It was HIV positive. I had like, it was like chlamydia. What happened last time you went there?

I just thought it was being pranked. What happened last time you went there? Who told that story the last time i tried to go there yeah um i pulled up and there was an ambulance in the middle of the parking lot and the both of the front doors to the urgent care were open and there was a man on the ground dying inside of the urgent care and the uh amp like the ambulance people were rescuing him, which I thought was insane that the urgent care people weren't rescuing him. That should be scary to you that you're going to a place to get help. They probably see so much shit here. Oh my god. The Tulane students probably show up with broken fears.

So why were you there the last time i was there the last time to get my routine std test and to uh how often do you get tested yeah it's right in here um i try to get tested every three months and out urgent care all right so this is a strip this is a strip mall we're right? Yeah, we got fix-a-phones. We've got Birdie's gas station or convenience store. We've got the ABC title, which is supposed to be the fast version of the DMV. It's a motor vehicle PTA. We've got the Subway, which is my favorite local restaurant.

In-N-Out Urgent Care is sandwiched between Subway and a Pizza Hut. We've got Bayou Hot Wings. The UPS store, Dragon King. And Smoothie King. Why is there a Dragon King next to a Smoothie King? Smoothie King and Dragon King are competing for who will be king. Should we go into the urgent care? We can just stare through the window and make them uncomfortable. I don't want to harass people who might be sick.

I don't want to go talk about what various illnesses we can see through the window. And you don't want to see the horror. We don't want to get sick. Just us going in that place. I feel like that. I feel like we've tiptoed to crossing some lines. And I'm going to say reporting inside an urgent care or outside urgent care would be maybe a little... What do you think? Maybe a little too much?

I'd feel bad if someone died. People in there are sick, dying maybe. It's New Orleans. Let's just say a prayer for them. Dear God, just bless them. You have to hold my hand. Dear God, just bless them sick people.

Make them feel better. Hopefully they can go to hold my hand. Dear God, just bless them sick people. Make them feel better. And please, dear God, don't read them the wrong STD results. Hopefully they can go to Subway after. Don't give anyone a heart attack. Or Dragon King if they prefer Chinese food. A Chinese food restaurant that has cardboard over all the windows, it seems. God, please let them have... That's my roommate's favorite Chinese restaurant. Really? Yes.

We're still praying. God? God. Pray for my roommates. I love them. Just give them the strength to be good. Okay. And for everyone at the In-N-Out Urgent Care. Everyone at the In-N-Out Urgent Care. Conclusion. Yeah?

You good? Haunted. Significant. What's haunted? This town. Haunted. Significant. What's haunted? This town, my life, my existence. All right. With that, everyone, thanks again. And unless another thing comes up, we will say... Au revoir, madame. Au revoir, madame and monsieur. And them.

I don't know how you say that in French. Themsoir. Le them. Le they. Le themsoir how you say that in French. Them sois. Le them. Le they. Le them sois. Okay. Bye, everyone. Bye, everyone. The last train to leave in the under quarter

Two hour time Last chance to get your last drink This world is getting so much faster It's too sad Poor train to blow it down slow And I forgot to keep up with the laughter It's too bad We'll be right back. I'm hopping and popping and chugging like a choo-choo train. Kissing and kissing and missing like a cuckoo train. I'm hopping and popping and chugging like a choo-choo train.

And there's a black man in the middle of the house, a jumper, pulling down. My head is wondering where to go. Outro Music