Seeking Derangements - SD 272 - We Need To Talk About George

Episode Date: December 5, 2023

Hello everyone! We're back and talking about none other than the don diva herself...FKA Kitara...AKA Latino Baby Grinch...George Santos. We draft a group message to his real email, go through his various crimes and scams (NOT GUILTY), and hear tell from another diva about her past run ins with George. Also some really bad Jacques health updates. Thank you to Santiago for designing our new cover art! Also Jacques and Hesse will be featured at the Girl God show this weekend at the Bell House in NYC! Get tickets here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/the-girl-god-christmas-spectacular-tickets-741044292427?utm_experiment=control_share_listing&aff=ebdsshios

There are not many young women in the history of jazz, and I am even more happy to have a flutist here tonight. With Bobby, we're going to hear Bonnie Perry on guitar, Kevin Toney on piano, Keith Killengo on drums, and Henry Franklin on bass. I want a big round of applause for Bobby Humphrey. Thank you. Hello everyone and welcome to Seeking Derangements. Ben, you're in Hessa and Jock as always. Today, I'm sure everyone has heard of this horrible news that has fallen a dear brother, friend, and comrade of ours. Versus Diana's dad? No, George Santos is maybe going to jail.

It has been expelled from Congress. It's very sad to see him go like this. It's very sad to see him go like this, but it is heartening because you know that a real diva can never be down. A real diva will only use the circumstances of being down to come back even more up, if that makes sense. When it's up, it's down. He's going to be becoming even more famous

because of this i believe i hope um i think people are going to have sympathy for him now because everyone loves a fired person that's true everyone does love yeah yeah everyone does love a fired person um yeah i mean george santos as i said to you on twitter um when i was begging you to come on our show i know what it's like to be persecuted by the political establishment simply for being yourself and doing nothing wrong. I know what it feels like, George. A fellow diva. A fellow diva who's been down at multiple times in her life, big time perhaps. I do know what it i do know what it

feels like um but don't you worry sister you're you're gonna start a podcast with um one of the most one of the craziest people you know and um at some point another diva will come into your life and balance everything out um That sounds like a feature reader's prediction, like a fortune teller. Exactly. And until then, I mean, guys, I do. I've got to connect. I'll say that. I cannot say his name.

I cannot say how I know him. But I do have someone who, let's just say, gaveorge santos's phone number and email and i think it's i are you know i i drafted hessa to help make some requests on twitter to get him on i made some on our accounts those didn't get any responses but i think and you know and since he has said that he's going to go on Z-Way, we're kind of a lowly defunct podcast.

And we've also got Adam Friedland, friend of the pod, trying to get him on to his show. And true or not, everyone's going after George. I don't know Adam Friedland. And we are the gayest. And the most marginalized. Everyone is going after George. I don't know Adam Freeland. We are the gayest. And the most marginalized.

And probably the most criminal. Yes, and the most criminal. And Latino. Yes. We are the last in the world. We are the underdogs. We have so much yeehaw than Z-Way and Adam

Freeman combined. It's just like... Period't hear it i thought you were gonna say zeal for a second i have no i respect z-way i respect z-way so much um the other guy i'm like whatever um i like george santee so we've got got I've got his phone number and email I figured it may be worth group drafting I feel like email is more professional

if we're trying to appear as a media literate institution that he's worthy of coming on after he ignores the email we should call him I am calling him of coming on. After he ignores the email, we should call him. Oh, after he ignores the email, I am calling him.

It's completely guns-free. I'm going to put Jock on him. Jock's texting routine. Sending blocks and blocks of text. Why do you hate me? Why are you doing this to me? Yeah, exactly. But until then, I feel like it's worth drafting an email.

So I'm going to pull up an email to Georgie here. One quick suggestion. Yes. Sexy doctor. Fax machine. Well, I don't have a fax. I feel like George

his fax machine That would be so sinister. Could you imagine a picture of John coming out of your fax machine in black and white like a really distorted image to kill myself cut out newspaper letters why do you want me to hurt myself georgie so georgie why don't you love me like daddy does subject i'm gonna say i'm just gonna say request for interview yes okay um tricky wait wait wait wait can i ask for my workshop instead of saying request for interview demands for interview no no no invitation to your ascension that's good i like that i feel like that language there is way

too scary like that might it might send it straight to the spam folder yeah that's like a that's like a email you get from uh gaia tv when your payment fails i forgot about gaia tv i love gaia tv i subscribe to gaia tv it's amazing I'm going to go with request for interview because I do think it's worth maybe trying to take it kind of seriously because who knows? I think he'd seriously too. After he does some of the big shows,

who knows how quickly he'll run out of steam and then he's going to have to go through older and older emails to see who he rebuffed. Can I just say my prediction? What's your prediction?

I think Zeeway's going to take it way too seriously and go hard on him and he's going to not want to do any other interviews. Well, look, George, we will give you the softest questions of all time. We'll ask you why you're so pretty. Okay.

Okay. Wait, wait. Hessa, Hessa, Hessa. I'm not even kidding. I'll ask you, how did you become so beautiful? How have you managed to do nothing wrong your entire life? Yeah. I've had sex with at least three people that look like him, so I don't think it's that bad.

But wait, we all said in the email. I've had sex with at least three people that look like him, so I don't think it's that bad. But wait, we all said in the email. I've had sex with at least three people. That's the opening line. I've had sex with at least three people that look like you. And maybe you, I don't, I was drunk. Maybe one of them was you. I was pretty fucked up. I've had sex with at least three people who look like like um you oh really maybe

one was yeah ben really turn down your gain a little bit okay can y'all hear me right i was drunk at the time. Okay. Anyways, I... Hello. This is... Anyways, this is an entire podcast emailing you. Ben, Jacques, and Tessa. Just the idea of an email saying,

hello, space. There actually isn't even a hello. It just starts, I've had sex with you. I've had sex with at least three people who look like you. Look, I might make some edits after the show, but I think that's amazing. You know, people always say

when you're writing a screenplay or a book or anything, you've got to hook the reader on the first line. I'm going to tell you, if I got an email like this, I would absolutely be hooked. I'm going to tell you, if I got an email like this, I would absolutely be hooked.

I would definitely be alert. You have to scare the reader. You have to make the reader wait for their life on the first line. You have to activate their fight and flight response. You need an email that's about halfway into reading it or even less than that.

Our master class in emailing. Yeah. So halfway or even sooner than that, reading the email, you pull out your gun and clock it back once. The first line must trigger flight. Anyways, this is an entire podcast emailing you right now. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Included at the bottom of the email is a QR. right now wait wait wait included in included at the bottom of the email

is a QR wait okay okay included at the end of this email is a QR code to redeem a gift card for $25

for the iTunes gift card you're not stealing my flip thing. We're holding on the flip thing. No, it's not even a flip. Okay, we can send him a gift card. We can send him a gift card. No, an iTunes gift card. It shows class. We can send him an iTunes gift card. That is classy.

I do think George would appreciate an iTunes gift card. A service no one has used. Yeah, it's not an illusion. Excuse me? I can see George maybe still being hung up on iTunes because he's somehow cashed in on

like hundreds of thousands of dollars of free iTunes. He discovered an iTunes gift card scam much akin to this. I actually happen to know George very well. He's a big music head like me and just like me, he buys all of his music from iTunes

so the money can go to the artist. That's me. Oh, it's because he supports artists so much. He supports artists. Guess what? I spent in the last two years on or the last four years on iTunes I don't

add that to the email no no no come on it's too crazy it's too crazy already $7,000 over the last well that's just retarded why am I supposed to be impressed by that why am I supposed to be impressed by that why am I supposed to be impressed by that

that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my life no because I have a DJ and now I have a quality yeah and you can tell George if he wants to get into DJing Jacques said they would help you yeah that's honestly we have to throw in some

we have to throw in a career a pivot to DJing. Absolutely. That's got to be here. Anyways, this is an entire podcast emailing you right now. We would love to have you join us. Join us soon. Check this.

We are dedicated to your transition from politician to entertainment entertainer and nightlife celebrity we will teach you how to we are dedicated to your transition from politician

to a winky face from politician to entertainment transition a winky face from politician to entertainment I can't type that fast transition smiley face from politician

to entertainment star and night life diva we will teach you not only how to DJ but how to host a party how to be a go-go dancer how to reclaim your drag history he was a drag queen katana yes what was it katara something no i wanted to be the girl's the name of the girl from Avatar the last airbender

which I don't know if he got that from them or if they got it from him I think I'm the only person yeah I'm the only person that doesn't like I fucking hate the last airbender he looks amazing can we just talk about how good he looks i love that he

he's just such an amazing classic gay guy yes i love him so much i'm not even kidding i've never felt more represent when it comes to representation there's a lot of you know there's a premium put on the buddha judges of politics to be stand-ins for you know some kind of gay base never once in my life have i felt represented by a gay man in politics until this scammy diva is fired the The only time I personally and I feel like a lot of our community also agrees with this. It's the only time we've felt

functionally represented in politics. We feel seen. I feel seen, yeah. I've been wanting a gay person to fail in public so that other people like me. That's how gay people succeed, to be quite honest. They fall first.

I constantly make mistakes and then I wake up the next day and I am mistake-less. And I am born anew. And I am ready to transition from politician to nighttime entertainer and show host I love off of his looks I love that the worse his

spiral seemed to get the closer he was getting to being expelled the more makeup he started wearing. I don't know if any of you guys noticed that. Of course. He's into the gods. He had...

There was one video of him and he's wearing this giant maroon blazer with a v-neck sweater and then there was a tie under it. Is he? He's a very fancy little boy. And he did makeup. This just sounds like how I

dressed in high school. He had funeral makeup on. He had a full morgue beat. Can someone please send me the picture? I've never seen that. I've never seen it. I don't have it on file. But just fully, fully powdered. He did this thing

where you put highlights. The funeral makeup is so mean to say. It's so true. He did the thing where you put a highlight above your eyebrow, which is so crazy. Because it's just like you're just so fucking shiny in one spot of your face. It makes you look like a mask.

It makes you look like a Michael Myers mask. And then he does this thing I love where he really contoured his double chin where it's two shades darker than the rest of his skin. But it makes no sense. It's just so obvious.

I love it. I love it. I think he looks amazing. Of course, we're not going to put that in the email. Let's say your makeup lately has been A+. We also have to let him know that we're gay. Do we? Your makeup lately has been A+. Obviously we are

gay, but AF. Not woke. Not woke. We are right wing. Not woke. The thing is, I don't really know AF not woke we are right wing not woke we've got to I mean the thing is I don't even I don't really know if George truly believes the whole like there are the two genders like that whole thing

regardless he is doing that for some kind of like internet exposure some kind of like epic right wing play but I still think he needs to know that we are holding the same fake

anti-woke line as him so obviously we are gay but not we are not woke he's not going to know what that is he's not going to know what that is no you won't know exactly I don't think he's that on Twitter.

Oh, yeah. Hey, hey. I think he's more just like Donald Trump Jr. He's a human being. He can read. I think he's more like Donald Trump Jr. Like, you know, gays used to be normal, but now they're all blue hair.

You know, I think that's the extent of his kind of grievance with the third gen of gay people. So maybe we say something related to that. Obviously, we are gay, but not woke. None of us have blue hair. Jock, if he comes on, you can't tell me you're not binary. I'm sorry. I don't give a fuck.

Period. Don't. Or maybe we't tell me you're not binary. I'm sorry. I don't give a fuck. Period. Or maybe we whip out that you're not. Maybe you could dye your hair blue. I'm not going to dye my hair blue. Let's dye your mustache blue. Scalp blue. You could do glitter mustache. Scalp blue.

Scalp blue. Glitter mustache. Body paint. I was not. Bridge paint, body paint. I was not... Bridge that gap, baby. First of all, I was perfectly unmad this entire episode

so far. Perfectly good-mannered and happy. Then all of a sudden, this bitch says, oh, bleach your scalp. I didn't say bleach. You know what you fucking make, you little... I said body paint. If I wanted to... If I wanted to paint an easter egg I'd wait till easter

I'm not going to dye my scalp so give me a break you really got my ass I got two slivers of hair left but guess what doesn't matter cause obviously I got the looks you don't have

you don't have to be blue haired for George I'll do it I'll be the one for George I think in the email you should mention that you were also fired yes but maybe don't say from where I'll just say a political a political enterprise

yes or I could say since being fired from Bernie I've realized the error of my ways I've seen how the loony left the loony left is and I had to ditch it no no no

no no no I think that's a perfect line for him can I please give me a chance okay go ahead Jack and I too George fell from great Can I please give me a chance? Okay, go ahead, Jack. And I too, George, fell from great political power to nothing in the moments of time through a series of uncontrollable events. And I know that you understand that exact feeling. I feel like it's a little rude. Okay, so did you even type it?

I didn't see your fingers moving so it just seemed like you were typing what I was saying I don't want to imply that he's felt nothing I feel like George is a little too he's got a little bit too much ego I'm just gonna say George love you babe

obviously we are gay say George love you babe obviously we are gay but George love you babe your makeup lately has been A plus obviously we are gay but not woke none of us have blue hair George love you babe also my name is Ben I

am a former veteran no I understand he's smart enough to hate veterans I am a former veteran no I understand he's smart enough to hate veterans I understand what it's like like to be scapegoated

by the political establishment when the only thing you're guilty of is being yourself yes

I once worked for the Bernie Sanders campaign and was publicly fired for the Bernie Sanders campaign and was publicly fired due to my critiques of the left of the loony left

since being since being since being ostracized by woke cancel culture since being ostracized by the woke cancel culture I

if you don't say the words cancel culture he can't relate he's gonna they refer to the woke as like a whole class of people If you don't say the words cancel culture, he can't relate. He's going to... They refer to the woke as a whole class of people. I think this is language he's going to understand. I think, Jacques, I have an idea that could

satisfy you. What if at the end, after the iTunes gift card QR code, you do that thing that spam emails do where you put cancel culture and then you highlight it and color it white so it's not visible but it shows up in the algorithm cancel culture there okay that's a little more advanced i kind of had wait i just spitballing here i mean we could just

do the email or whatever wouldn't it be easier if i just became george santos's personal assistant and then i didn't get his life i mean that would be amazing like in a sub-bud syop wait just listen up and then um i could like basically make content for the podcast by you know like altering his life and his decisions um and being subvertly in control with my hypnotic powers wow yeah you should do that you should definitely do that I would love to see that happen it's an idea that

I like the letter because it's a slower approach but I feel like if I just go for this or there's option C what's that? I have sex with him oh I mean that seems like option C what's that or do we not even want to hear it yet I don't know I mean that seems like easier than option B

I want to are you kidding look again option A we send the letter it's the long run option B I just immediately let's do option A and if we need to come back to B or C then we can focus on that we are 80 are done with

option A. I just wanted to double check. I'm sorry. It's okay. You're always allowed to spitball. Anyways, since being ostracized with a woke, I have found my home in

far right politics much like yourself I hate gay people I hate non-white people no no no I hate non-white say that to him.

That's so insane. No. I was spitballing. We're all into spitball. No, hey, wait, hold on. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Wait. One thing, really quickly. Okay. If George Santos is reading this letter and he gets to the part that

says non-white people, he might know that it's a trap we can't well that's not in there it's not in there it's not a trap it's not a trap let's stop that language right now okay let's put a kibosh on we're not even

allowing that the only trap here is me honey exactly you've been censured all right let's wrap it up here because I want to talk more about him and I feel like this email is beautiful as is okay put love

mommy daddy and love you babe love you babe George is a real love you babe kind of gay yes you know you know he says that to people. And he does a little, he does like, he points his finger. He has a little finger gun.

Love you, babe. I love him so much. He's so cool. He's so fucking funny. He kind of looks like the baby Grinch to me. He does look like the baby Grinch. What the fuck? Do you get that? does i just really i

didn't even connect that i am gary's face all of these all these pictures of him and i was like who is he remind he's so cute but like so kind of evil like he's mischievous and i was like an evil baby who does this look like and i was like oh my god he looks exactly like the baby grinch and that picture of the baby grinch where it's all like cute and like i think they did like a makeup or something with the big eyes yeah he looks like that he looks exactly like that to me oh my god he. He looks just like that to me. He's giving baby grins so much. He does look like a Pixar character.

Yeah. He kind of has a WALL-E element to him. Not saying that just because he's a bit bigger. But he does have a kind of have a he does have a kind of pixar element as well all right i'm gonna say it's also because he's smoother than those around him he's so he's so yeah i mean he's hell we know we know where that campaign money was going that campaign money was going. That campaign money was going to a lot of beauty. All right.

He was paying for cum. I don't think he was paying for cum. He was paying for OnlyFans. Well, we can get to that. Let's just say, Georgie, let us know, and you can come on. Our door is open.

I'll say, door open, face down, ass up. No, no, wait, wait, down ass up please say let us know bro ass up just let us know honey bro let us know bro let us know bro yeah that's right far right politics much like yourself door Door open, face down, ass up, just let us know. We didn't even ask to interview him at any point. We would like to continue.

By the way, this is a request for an interview. Yes, this is a request for an interview. And we have the softest questions. We have questions softer than you, George.

These questions are softer than your skin. Your baby soft skin, honey. Just the whole... Tim reading this whole letter and then finally the ending just being P.S. Well, I mean, do you want to do the iTunes gift card? That's going to have to... I'm just going to say, also, we have

an iTunes gift card for you. We have an iTunes gift card for you. It's so good. For you, no strings attached. No strings attached. And then just end it with period, all caps. It sounds like a and then just end it with period

it sounds like a 2008 spam email that email has been sent to george santos thank god he does not have any secret service detail or anything of the sort anymore. Because I would be a little worried about that. But I mean, he's kind of all I've been focusing on. I do want to get to some of his various crimes and lies. Can I say my favorite one? Oh, absolutely. Yeah.

My favorite one is he was giving an interview a while ago and he was like it's not really a crime it's not a crime at all but it's just the funniest thing i've ever heard it's yeah he was like he was doing like a volunteer like big brother program or something at like a high school where he would like you know take 15 year olds to like baseball games like underprivileged like yeah which was first of all probably a lie to begin with

he was probably never doing that yeah it's a crazy lie within a lie yeah and he's like but I stopped doing that and the he was like very cagey about why and the interviewer was like wait why did you stop doing it and he's like but i i stopped doing that and the he was like very cagey about why and the interviewer was like why wait why did you stop doing it and he was like well those kids you know they're you think they're your friends and then they they stab you in the back when your back's turned

it's like what these are children these are 14 year old you're beefing with 14 year olds yeah i love that whenever he's in an interview even before he was like found out as a world-class scammer and liar every interview he has has the quality of like an exit interview on like drag race like when a drag queen has just been voted off and there's nothing to lose and they're like being they're like being asked like you know what happened or whatever and they're just like you know they're talking about their shit they're about to be voted off you know they're trying to make their case they can say whatever they want at this point that is truly how every single interview with him

sounds desperate yes it's so so so fucking funny I loved I mean when he had that baby baby was crazy and he walks out of the office with a baby and they say is that baby yours and he says

not yet what the fuck he's creating another baby grinch and no one and it was never explained it was never it was truly it was never explained well we'll have to follow up he um we'll have to ask him whose baby it was he another i mean this just happened not that long ago when diane feinstein died he used it as an excuse to soft launch his husband who he has oh my god has hard launched um as being like three years together this week me so much. Lies. Lies. Complete lies. Complete total lies. But he had this tweet that, here it is,

the language here is so fucking mesmerizing to me. It makes no sense what he's saying. And this was posted a couple days ago. In the midst of his scandal, he hard-lodged his husband. And he says,

two years since we said I do. Happy anniversary to my partner in life and to my rock who has not skipped a beat over the past few months. Thank you for being the most amazing spouse. I love you to the moon and back. But the phrasing here that really just captivates me, happy anniversary to my partner in life and to my rock who has not skipped a beat over the past few months. What does that mean? And you're forgetting that the first picture of them together

is them at the gate of Jurassic Park. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which I was not aware is a real place. I guess it's like a Disneyland. What do you mean you didn't know it's not a real place? The whole book series is based on a real place. It's a documentary. It's a documentary.

I didn't even realize. I would hate for you to be so stupid to not know your history. Ben, you know who his husband looks kind of like is Max no it's just like Latino yeah exactly

y'all are like someone check on Max I think he's dating George Santos then we should send Max in as an agent to break them up and then as a honeypot that's exactly what Max told me

I asked him why are you having sex with George Santos and he said you know to be in a coffee pot and I'm like nice he said I've been doing it for six months and I said didn't you just need to do it once to my rock who has not skipped a beat

over the past few months. It's like What did he He always comes every night to my weapon. You can say like my heart skipped a beat is something you say when you're so taken by someone. You know.

You're so shocked. You're so overwhelmed by love. know my heart skipped a beat or whatever and to say my rock who is not to specify only stones you don't yeah that's what i was thinking of like a rock skipping on it doesn't make any sense well also it's it's really

funny to specify like just he's just hasn't skipped a beat over the past few months so like the rest of the two years like he's been skipping beats left and right palpitations sounds like a ddr move two years yeah it's just i that's i mean that's the least of his crimes of course it's just something that it's just it's scammer language because he this is not the way you talk about

someone you dearly deeply love yeah yeah it is so maybe you just never have had that kind of love yet no I just you don't my heart has not skipped him it just doesn't make any sense to me we can get to some of his other stuff.

So there are the crimes, there are the lies. Where should we go? I would like to know more about the lies because it seems as if he has been lying a lot lately.

And I just want to know what the truth is. Yep. Well, that's why we're trying to get him on. been lying a lot lately and I just want to know what the truth is yep well that's why we're trying to get him on well I will I mean y'all want to get him on I want to get him off as far as I'm concerned George has never told a lie in his life never lied once even a single

even any of the contradictory ones it's called dialectics ever heard of it exactly doi yeah dialectics ever heard of it. Exactly. Doy! Allegedly lied to donors and used their money to make purchases at Hermes and OnlyFans.

It's so crazy. He's buying designer clothes, but every time I see him, he's dressed like a mortician. He's dressed like an old Navy superfan. It's like an old navy super fan he's it's like an old navy commercial you're it's really crazy but he was wearing ferragamo loafers during one interview and there's a journalist she was like george george are those the ferragamo loafers and he's like yes and they're six years old they're the six-year-old ones i did just buy them

and they're six years old. They're the six year old ones. I did just buy them. So amazing. Just a weird lie. They're six years old. It's like he gets bonus points every time he adds a little fact. No, literally.

Literally. Well, what kind of I've been... What kind of OnlyFans do you think he's subscribed to? I probably big. I don't know. Do you think it's Twinks or do you think it's Muscle? I think it's Twinks. I think it's Twinks.

No, I thought Muscle's Muscle Man. We can disagree. I think it's Twinks. He seems like a Twink. He seems ravenous for Twinks to me. I'm going gonna say that what does his husband look like he's like a

slimmer shorter yeah short slim younger darker skin mustache Latino gay guy yeah god I think he's definitely yeah he's on like Latino twink pages

I would say yes absolutely he's funny he never flew anyone out you would think with all this money he's blowing maybe like there's gonna be well I saw something that was really funny where someone was like

yeah I um like I George Santos like Well, I saw something that was really funny where someone was like, yeah, I... George Santos took my credit card number and maxed out the donation amount on my credit card. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He did it to the guy's mom, too.

Yes. Who was that who said that? It was another representative. Another politician was another uh representative like another politician was ripped off by georgia and had two cards maxed out one belonged to the representative's mother did he get sued for that you think yeah i mean he's in a court trial right now for it oh wait he's gonna be facing criminal charge by slew of, I'm sure. I don't mean to sound a little behind, but he's going to court? I didn't know he was going to court. He will be.

I thought he just got fired. I didn't know that he was in trouble legal. He was expelled from Congress and will be in a lot of legal trouble. I just thought expelled from Congress is like expelled from high school or something kind of it is kind of but there's also court things like separate it's yeah he's expelled because of the the court things i'm so worried i know poor baby um he faces 23 felony charges identity theft and wire fraud there's a lot there's a lot from identity theft and wire fraud. There's a lot of identity theft. Yes, wire fraud

is such a great... Yeah, I know. What does wire fraud even mean? You're transferring money from someone's account to your account, basically. He used campaign money for personal travel and Botox. He was just running the company card like crazy, basically.

His campaign card. Lied to collect unemployment benefits. So funny. Why would you do that? I don't know. Santos has also been accused of fraudulently collecting more than $24,000 in unemployment benefits. Federal prosecutors say Santos illegally

applied to receive unemployment benefits in June 2020 after the pandemic expanded to help people out of work. Definitely pandemic. At the time, though, here, he was employed as a regional director of a Florida-based investment firm, earning an annual salary around $120,000.

Oh my god. Oh my god. So, Georgie, good luck. I mean, good job on you. You made $144,000 that year, if not more. You definitely are doing more scams. There's one scam that came to light

recently via an old friend of ours, none other than Mrs. Christian Walker, who was out of the news for a little bit because... Yes, kind of been out of the spotlight. You know, there was family drama. People were starting to turn Christian around at the Starbucks and not give him his orders.

No, I think he just kind of switched. He switched up his persona. He switched up his persona because he had to he came in and talked a lot of shit about his dad and then a lot of the Republicans who were supporting

him, I think, started beefing with him because that was why his dad, in some, you know not inconsequential amount lost his race was from christian coming forward and saying a bunch of shit and causing much drama for the campaign yeah um which was honestly pretty cool for christian yeah honestly he tore she tore but um we've got a video christian christ Christian came forward recently and talked about his experience with George Santos. I just want to say

I hate when divas fight. I know. I'm not going to take sides. I'm going to say you're both amazing. You're both queens. I love you both. Love you, babe. I'm going to take George's side because I think he would never lie

Christian Walker you fucking liar George Santos would never lie he would never lie he would never lie I wanna see it so bad I don't know we have the video here we're gonna take a listen to it

I've never so guys you know crazy Georgeorge santos the republican who was just expelled from congress well i knew him so i have a hilarious story time about his lying i met george back when i was in that world don't remind me i met him at an event in nashville and I immediately took to him because he was hilarious. He kept making us all laugh and he didn't drink or party and I'm not a drinker or partier. Okay, can you imagine that party?

That party must have been so fucking fun. All these right wing freaks. All of these right wing gay freaks. These faggots. Just like... There has to be no charisma in that room or i don't know it's just an overwhelming amount of gay republican charisma in one room actually is what you were trying to say like george must have been working that room like anything. Like, literally. Can you imagine?

There's that one video or that one picture of him where he's like holding a glass of wine and he's pointing at the camera. He's doing the finger gun. He's just smiling. He's like, hey! He's such a fun guy.

He's like the fun guy at the party. All right, let's keep going. All right. Started to get to know each other. He was really impressive. He worked on Wall Street, made all this money. He was completely funding his own... Oh, for the listeners, he's doing air quotes.

He's saying this stuff too. He's also waving around his uh cartier international bracelet yeah which is which is so funny he knew he knew he's gotta flip that wrist around if he's wearing that bracelet you know get it absolutely all right own race i'm like go george yes he told me he was engaged and he was going to invite me and a bunch of friends to his huge wedding at a castle in upstate New York. So that's part one. So fast forward, I had a New York trip and he wanted to take me to meet these people

and go to dinner with a friend. So this is where it gets like crazy. He picks me up and he's like, Christian, last week I got robbed. And I'm like, George, what? You got robbed? He's like, I was leaving a meeting on Wall Street. Guys, this is all made up, by the way. Everything.

He goes and all these men robbed me and took a $70,000 Hermes bag from me. And they almost beat me up. And I go because I know Hermes. I'm like, oh. It's so funny to say they almost beat me up. I know Hermes. It's so funny to say they almost beat me up. It's so funny. Imagine how this must have happened on Wall Street. George Santos is surrounded by seven men

who steal his bag and then he just runs away. It's so comical to imagine seven men in ski masks and very cartoon thug looking. They wouldn't target

him. I think they would. It's a clear lie. It's so obvious that he's lying. I almost got beat up is the tell. Actually, he's telling the truth. I saw this. i saw this happen all right let me risk it was it like a rare birkin or something like a seventy thousand dollar was it like a crocodile birkin he was like no it was a special edition men's briefcase and

i'm thinking i know hermes i know why don't why don't i know about these special edition men's briefcase and i'm thinking i know hermes i don't know why don't why don't i know about these special edition men's briefcases he told me he had just bought his fiancee a new car he had picked me up in a mercedes and he was like okay this is my city car and i like the gayest episode of colombo ever it's like a gay guy finding out that another gay guy is a scammer because he invented a type of her maze bag now i just want to ask you about one thing you said george there's just one more thing you said that you had a rare seventy thousand dollar a man's custom briefcase. It's very suspicious to me, sweetheart.

Because, girl, I know our man. And, honey, they don't make a briefcase like that. Literally, it's so funny that that's how you found out. It's so cool. We were friends with Columbo still.

I know. He was just... Sorry. It's so cool. We were friends with Columbo still. I know. He was just, sorry. He's just here. I thought I'd have him on the line whenever we were live. It's so weird that he's just like always watching you. He's always hanging out. All right, let's keep going. Let's see how Christian unravels his lies even further.

I have to catch a flight tomorrow, so I'll be staying at my city place tonight. We have a 7,000 square foot house on Long Island. 7,000 square feet is a big house, especially in New York. He told the same exact thing to my friend too. All of these lies, burglary, 7,000 square foot houses, mansions, weddings, and castles. Well, then this guy wins his race and we're like, weddings and castles well then this guy wins his race and we're like george congrats big mistake that we even i wasn't supporting that whatever the last time i talked to him was on the phone he said he had to go to mar-a-lago trump's house and he was like i'm going to get this award or i'm going to this gala and then i'm done with trump he's so done he's so done he's so done. He's so done. He's so over, honey. He lied about it.

He's cancelled, sweetie. Sweetie, we just found out Trump is cancelled. Guys, in this realm of politics, this social environment, it's so fucking funny to me because they're just the same people.

Is he on the woke side now? They're just... What? Is he like... Christian Walker? No. Absolutely not. Oh, okay.

No, that's true. Absolutely not. He just hates his dad. Yeah, he hates his dad. His whole thing now is he just gives advice to women about why their boyfriends suck. And then every once in a while does the like,

uh, Starbucks is woke, but yeah. Amazing. Yeah. I'm glad he's found his niche. He's really asked. I still hate him and I can't believe he's coming for my queen like this.

I believe that George didn't lie about anything. How dare you call George? George, George, he would never lie. He's been robbed on Wall Street. I believe that Francois Hermes himself

probably gave him this custom handmade briefcase for George Santos. I saw the Hermes briefcase right before it was stolen and I, Jacques Gonsolin, can authenticate that it was the custom $700,000 value point.

It was a Hermes. It was a Herpes briefcase. I never said Hermes. I like Jacques' assertion that it's not $70,000. It was actually $700,000. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Georgie always guesses the prices mixed up.

He always says little when it means big. All right, ready? Everything. He was using campaign funds for his personal expenses, Botox, OF, all this difference of his car, his everything. But what really pisses me off is he told me I had a nice peach that was going to make a man really happy one day was he lying about that too cute little cute little ending christian yeah why would he that's the one thing he's lying about that's the only thing he's like

the only lies ever told i would never. I never would have told him that. If you knew me, I definitely could see George hitting on Christian. That checks out to me. Yeah. Do you think he was trying to smash? Yeah.

Or just flirt. George seems like the kind of guy who might just be happy might be happy with just flirting you know I'm I'm so curious what only fans he subscribes to it's a um it's an only fans where a guy gets to eat everything that George doesn't get to well I feel like he doesn't stop himself from eating what he wants to evidently he's looking pretty big did you see that picture of him with the sweater he's so cool I love

the griper he looks exactly like the griper he's so cute though real quick quick note I'm really getting up there on the charts and gaining a lot of pounds.

I am probably going to hit obese by Christmas at this rate. Why? What if you just stop eating so poorly? I just can't stop. You're talking about it like it's destiny.

I can't stop with the crab ragoons. i can't stop with the crab ragoons i keep having them every day the cream cheese bacon crab ragoons and then the egg rolls and then i have to have the pork belly towel it's just too much pork belly towel what's pork belly pork belly on bao bread is what i was trying to say. Look, I've eaten too much. I've gone too far. I've already gone up to 36. I believe in you that you can turn it around. Weren't you 34

last time you mentioned this? Yes. Your waist has gained two inches in a week? No, no. I think you said 36 last week too. But it's going bad. Stop bad let's just stop you're gonna have a heart attack or something yeah that was another thing last night my chest was like just oh my god and then no one told okay and then no one told me that canola oil was the most

dangerous and high saturated fats well and of course I've been you can't blame the world for eating buckets of canola oil I've been drinking a little bit of canola oil on some days that I that's so insane I infused it with weed I took it

that is so so so inappropriate I didn't know that it would be any different than butter or disgusting i drink drinking vegetable oil stop doing that it was the first time i drank you're really harming yourself i was the first time i drank water in weeks i i actually had five glasses of hot water with it so that the oil would melt. I have nothing to say to you. I have nothing to say to you. You have to throw that away right now. You have to throw that oil away right now.

The oil is black from me using an ounce of weed into. Listen to him. He's saying this with pride. I'm not saying it with pride. It's just, it's an herbal tonic. I just have to throw it away. No, it's not. It's not an this with pride. It's just, it's an herbal tonic. I just have to throw it away. No, it's not.

It's not an herbal tonic. It's not an herbal tonic. You need to throw it away right now. It's hard drugs with pure seed oils. So inflamed and high. It's not good, Jock. You have to stop. If I just have a little spoonful, I'm not going to do a shot.

You know what? It's your life. Do whatever you want. Do whatever you want. I did one shot. At your funeral. I will be playing this clip. Just so everyone knows that I asked you. How I died? I feel like it would be inappropriate to play this clip at the funeral.

I don't care. Okay. Oh my God. This is so crazy. And now a clip Jock requested to be played at the funeral. Can y'all imagine? Y'allall I can't stop drinking my black water it's full of weed and it's not even water it's actually pure canola oil but

I'm not gonna throw it out I'm not stopping imagine the nightmare editing job Max is gonna have to do when I'm dead to compile the moments that were not explicit but funny on Seeking Derangements of me.

What do you mean? He's gonna have to find clips of me from Seeking Derangements that are appropriate enough to show at the funeral. Oh, you want to actually show? Well, you're not gonna die soon. I feel like you need to turn this around.

I'm gonna turn it around.'m gonna turn it around i am turning it around um because i'm gonna start because as soon as i get to new york i'm gonna start exercising more again what do you mean you can come to the gym with me if you want i have a gym membership i have my own exercise yeah right regiment for new york not bringing you to the gym has a don't lie to him y'all want you want to make a bet i'll go to the gym, Hessa. Don't lie to him. Hessa, Hessa, Hessa. You want to make a bet? I'll go to the gym for an hour working out really hardcore. And if not, I'll buy crab ragoons and Chinese for Ben.

But if not, Ben has to respect me. I don't understand this deal in any way. It makes perfect sense. It makes perfect sense. makes perfect no no no i'm not i'm not going to eat chinese food and crab crab what you never want to get to my level i just want you to one day stoop down it won't permanently ruin your body i just don't really like doing weed or eating a grease food or drinking oil. It's just not something I like to do.

I never knew that canola oil was bad for you. I wish that just because I didn't want to drink canola oil that you wouldn't articulate that as a sign of disrespect. It's very difficult behavior to deal with, just so you know. Just to be

completely honest with you right now you're being so disrespectful cigarettes at least how's that hurt how's that taste i feel like i'm not drinking look you're you're clearly you're clearly not going to change regardless of how much we ask because you're already making excuses at least least I'm not smoking cigarettes anymore. Do whatever you want, man. It's your life. I'm just, I think you could. You could, you should really stop.

Full eye full of belly right now on the camera. If you care about your health. I care about it. Look how much I care. My eyes, I've been lately, have been a little bit low. And I've got the sugars lately, but

I'm going to be okay. Well, let's throw out the canola oil at least. Okay. Okay. Can we throw out the canola oil? I'm used to drinking water. I have to cut it with the Fantas. I keep having Fantas. That's when I got really. That's what you call.

Is that what you call? I'm hard cutting. No, I mean, I keep I keep drinking like three bottles of Fanta. So when I was really obese, it really came down to me having too many sodas. And I'm really soda. Soda will blow you off like a balloon. I had seven Coca-Cola's at the bar

I had seven Coca-Cola's at the bar a few nights ago well that's really disgusting that's a lot really bad and gross and terrible for your health Rock just have like a seltzer with bitters I got Coca-Cola

with bitters well okay we're trying to give you solutions to the problem they're telling and you're just you just keep listing worse and worse things you're doing no no i'm sorry in your voice you're proud of yourself it's not pride i'm just explaining myself i just wanted to give an update well stop stop it what can you do to stop consuming um things this way look if i think george could really connect i want a 24-hour personal assistant who lives in with me and helps me for me you make sure i don't do anything bad um i do think slavery has been outlawed and also lets me

do whatever I want but also stops me from doing anything bad you want to be a baby with a mommy but I'm sorry to tell you you are a 31 year old gay man shut up stop it take control of his life I do not

stop Ben you're rude what you're asking? You're asking for me to buy you a 24-hour assistant. I didn't ask for you to purchase the assistant. You're going to buy the person yourself. I'm putting an open call as an assistant.

I need an assistant, an agent. I need a forensic accountant and I need a new PI because this guy Why? What happened with your last PI? He got sick of your shit, didn't he?

What were you even asking him to do? I don't even understand what you would get a PI to do. He was like, hold on, that's too far Jacques, you have asked me too many complicated things and that is it. You killed DJ Bouffant in New Orleans.

I would never ask my PI to kill someone and I could do that myself. I'm just kidding. Your microphone is not great. Yes. Well, everyone, pray for jocks health pray for the

can you hear me release yes I'm ending the show the swift release of one mrs. George Santos yeah please flood her mentions with

request to beg her if you could flood her mentions with requests to beg her if you could do full threads in the replies to George Santos tweets maybe email her yourself do whatever you've got to do

to get her on this show because I do think I do think that Jock and George could there could be let's just say there's explosive chemistry between them

there could be electricity there there's either going to be explosive chemistry or explosive diarrhea we'll see probably both judging by your diet and her diet i think actually i have to eat healthy diarrhea today what i have to eat healthy today maybe yeah you can do it sounds like a good idea i believe in you what is eating healthy to you just i'm just curious. What does that mean?

Baked potato salad, steak. Okay, so not very healthy already. All right, great. On that note, I hope you enjoy your baked potato salad, steak, and we will be back. Oh, you can listen to bonus episodes, one a week, sometimes two a week or video content etc on uh patreon.com

slash seeking derangements is this a paid one i think this is a paid one though this is a free one um our last one was paid you can you can leave jock oh also we should plug the girl god show as well yes jock and i are gonna be on the girl God show in New York City on December 10th. It's going to be beautiful. Zach Cherry is on it. Joe Pera. John Pera. Joe Pera is on it too. I think Ivy Woke will also be on it.

Pod About List. Will also be on it. Our brothers, Pod About List. I'm sorry. I can't go because it's my birthday. Yeah, I'm sorry. I can't. I can't go because it's my birthday and I went up. Yeah. Party. I hate you. Why do you hate me for having a birthday?

Because it happens. I have to deal with it literally every year. It happens once a year. It happens every year. Frankly, I'm sick of it happening. If you want to see Ben at the show for the Girl Got Christmas show, just send him a message and beg him because I think he just needs to be. It of it happening. If you want to see Ben at the show for the Girl Got Christmas show, just send him a message and beg him

because I think he just needs to be there. I already have a venue booked for my birthday. And I'm celebrating my birthday party. Oh, thanks for the invitation. You're going to be busy. You're on stage. I'm already not invited. Not with that attitude.

You have to prove to me that you're eating healthy If you want to come to my birthday party Wait Hessa were you invited to his birthday party already? Yes Hessa's hosting it Yes I'm hosting it You really are? Hessa has to leave until she has to drop out of the girl con show Actually pot about list

Zach Cherry Guess what She has to drop out of the girl costume. Actually, Pot about Liz, Zach Cherry, whoever the fuck else. Guess what? Ben didn't even ask me to make plans for New York. I called Hessa yesterday and I said, Hessa, can we make plans to hang out on a certain day? Why is your vacation something I am responsible for?

I hate this. You're so fucking crazy. Every time Ben comes to New Orleans, of course, his little plans. Because I call you and say, hi, I'm coming to New Orleans. Goodbye, everyone. All right.

Bye. Thank you. Thanks for watching!