Seeking Derangements - SD 293 - Never Stop Smoking Weed

Episode Date: February 26, 2024

Welcome back yall, today we talk about Joe Biden's sex life, global circumcision rates, a van full of men with guns being outside your house, getting your head squished between a brick wall and your 1000lbs of luggage, and we take a quiz which results in some really scary results Weekly Bonus Episodes on our Patreon

🎵 Bésame, amame, cariño Bésame, amame, cariño Hello everyone, welcome to Secret Arrangement Ben, we're here, we're here. We're all together. We're all together again. Guys, just before the show started... We had sex. All of us. We all had sex with each other. But more importantly, we heard about someone else having sex.

A lot of it. And it's apparently pretty good. Biden tells White House aides the key to a successful marriage is quote unquote good sex. What do you guys think? Just immediate reactions to this. Immediate reaction is that I think that's another like dementia symptom is when a guy gets so old that he's like jerks off in public and stuff and he's getting hornier. I think Joe's getting hornier, which is a sign. Which is a good sign. Yeah, okay.

I have been curious if Tyra Banks and Bruce Willis have been having sex through their dementia battle. So, I don't... Are you thinking of Wendy Williams? Are you thinking of... I don't think are you thinking of is ty i don't think tyra banks has been diagnosed with dementia yeah i think you might be thinking of wendy williams

you might be thinking of wendy williams who was just diagnosed with dementia they're both bullies but she was probably diagnosed a couple years ago but it's just coming out they're both bullies uh that are talk show hosts that's what they have in common and black women and they're black powerful strong powerful powerful strong black women. No wonder you call them bullies. Yeah. That's not... Don't even try to flip that on me,

you fucking long-haired, beautiful bitch. God damn. I fucking hate her mid-length hair. It's always just in my face. It is sad that Wendy Williams... My queen. We'll just talk about everyone who has dementia in the news, I guess. Are they having sex, too? Bruce Willis and Wendy Williams?

Who is having sex? Wendy Williams and Bruce Willis? Wendy Williams has been diagnosed with a terrible case of dementia. Was she dating Bruce Willis? No, Bruce Willis also has dementia. His brain is gone. That's why he can't act anymore. Yeah, and Jacques, I think Jacques thinks that

everyone who has dementia gets put into this. Dementia Jacques. No, y'all are the confused ones. Let me explain why I'm saying this. Do you think dementia is the name of a seniors only fuck club that all these people are in? Have I once ever said that?

No. I mean, you're implying it. No, what the point I'm trying to make is is that Joe is out here, sleepy Joe, dementia Joe, out here bragging about how much pussy pussy he gets. I don't like it when you say it twice in a row like that it makes it sound really don't you tell me anything don't you tell me a damn thing it's like something gis would say um in the korean war

learning a little bit too much from his veteran friend. Joe got dementia and he's bragging about getting all this pussy and sex. Why is Bruce Willis and William's Wendy's not trying to... I don't know what I meant. No, no, no. Finish that thought. Finish that thought. If they're having sex so much... Why do you think they're having sex, though?

Because Joe has dementia and he has sex a lot. Yeah. Dare you not? I'm doing a lot of math here and I feel like no one's hearing the calculations. Do you think Joe? Can you go over it one more time? I'm not really. I'm still.

I'm just getting a bunch of. Joe Biden. I'm seeing you just. Joe Biden. Threadbare have associations with these people, and I'm not seeing any kind of conclusion. Okay, so what do they all have in common? They have dementia. Yes.

Now, Joe Biden is going around bragging about how much pussy pussy he gets and how frequently. Why isn't Wendy Williams on that dick dick train and why isn't bruce willis on that pussy pussy dick dick train i don't know bruce willis is bisexual i don't know i don't know if that's true i don't know if this is bisexual i don't think you should argue with me because i actually totally useless let me ask let me ask you both a question how many times have y'all been to This is bisexual. I don't think you should argue with me because I actually... Just because he's bald? Totally useless.

Let me ask you both a question. How many times have y'all been to Hollywood? How many times have you been to Hollywood? Name the amount of times. Probably a million. Zero. Zero. None of these two Looney Tunes have ever even been to California, let alone Hollywood land.

I've been to California. No, she hasn't she won't even get on a shoebox getting attacked from the very jump for not understanding what you're talking about you should you should be attacked for not being understanding do you listen to yourself i guess that's true um i now know what wendy will Wendy Williams handlers have had to deal with for the past fucking two years. Jesus Christ. But Biden, he's 81. He's telling all of his aides that the secret to a good relationship is...

But he has AIDS too? There's more of that dementia. Is good sex. He's been doing this for quite a while. Does Jill know that he's been doing this for quite a while does jill like know that he's telling everyone this or yeah she's asked she's the president's wife she's asked him to stop a couple times apparently it's at least implied that she's like hey you need to tamp down all of the talk about um our sex lives but in 2006 he said at a um at a fundraiser he said i'd rather be at home making love to my wife while my children are asleep what the fuck i know he's that's like

pre-dementia that's he's just a horny old man it's a horny family it's a big sex they're a big sex family does he get off knowing that his family is in the same house while he has sex? Yeah, that's what I'm wondering. I think so. Do y'all do that? Do y'all have sex in your family's house? I mean, in high school. Yeah, it's not.

You are disgusting perverts, and both of you should be trialed for jail time. You've had sex on our friend's friends families couch multiple times with a girl that you gave poppers to first of all first you want to go there first of all let me explain something i had sex with one girl on one couch it was a white couch and i was lucky i left no stain oh god yeah i think we put a jacket down okay i've had honestly jock i've had sex on that couch as well so i was about to say you motherfucker you probably but it was before it was before you you got my sloppy seconds i have never once had been sloppy seconds let me reiterate this me and ben have had sex but never sex with the same person and we're never going fuck, that is a lie because of that one guy.

We have had sex with the same person. Fuck. Wait, who was it? Dementia. No one you know. Dementia strikes again. No one you know has sex with me. It was me.

Is it another life? Don't you worry. It was, yeah, it was before you transitioned. You probably don't remember us. Because I was drugged out of my mind. You were just dragging me around okay biden biden in 1974 said are you saying that people shut up no no no i have to say this it's really important everyone's out there needs to know the truth has to do trans people remember their lives

before they transition no no no okay we forget to know thank you jock shut up um biden in 1974 also gushed about the sexual emotional connection he and his first wife nelia shared nelia who the fuck is nelia that's the she's the dead one he said she had the best body of any woman i ever saw she looks better than a playboy bunny, doesn't she? The idea of someone saying that about her... I think he said that after she died. I'm looking up a picture of her. Let's see if she looks like a playboy bunny.

Oh! She is kind of a... She's a looker. You know who's embarrassing, but I would have sex with? Iggy Azalea. She's kind of blown up body-wise. Besides looking like an adult in a cultural theater. Yeah.

I would have sex with pretty much anyone, honestly. How did she get Playboy Cardi? Is that what made you think of Iggy Azalea is because Ben said Playboy Bunny?

Yep. You know that song where she Is that what made you think of Iggy Azalea? Because Ben said Playboy Bunny. Yep. I was trying to figure out why. You know that song where she's like, Playboy Bunny. No, wait. That's actually Cray-Shawn. The free association that has been going on since the very beginning.

Hey, I'm just expressing myself. It's because I'm so focused. You know you know it's like sometimes when i for example maybe push a woman down a flight of stairs like why did you do that i'm like i was just expressing myself it's actually if you say i was just expressing myself you can kind of do literally anything yeah you can get away with any crime yeah yeah yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm almost positive that's his dead wife. He said, at first she stayed home with the kids while I campaigned, but that didn't work out because I'd come back too tired to

talk to her. I might satisfy her in bed, but I didn't have much time for anything else. She said that in the 70s? He said that in the 70s? He said that in the 70s. That's when she started campaigning with me, and that's when I started winning. You know, the people of Delaware

really elected her but they got me. He's saying, I won because I started getting dome on the road. Hold on. He was a boardwalk. Road dome driving the tour bus.

He was an elected official in New Delaware? In Delaware, yeah. Delaware, it's a state. I didn't know that's where he got his beginnings. Yeah, he's, yeah, yeah. He also spoke about his desire to remarry. So yeah, I think this is after his first wife died.

How did she die? So crazy. She died when they crashed the tour bus when she was giving himself. She flew through the front window. That was the car crash. That killed his child. Put some respect on it.

The wife died very tragically as her and Joe were having a tour of a brick oven pizza restaurant when his wife tragically fell into the oven. Fell into the oven. They had to respectfully eat her after when she came out of the oven. He's so old. He cried with every bite.

This quote is like it reminds me of how fucking old he truly is. I do indeed want to get married again. I hate the image of the gay young bachelor about town. That's just not my style. I am not a womanizer.

Wow. Gay. That's before gay people existed. That's before they invented gay people. It's so nuts. And then there's a picture of him and he still looks like 50 years old. He's never looked young. He's been old for so long it's fucking crazy dude

did he ever have hair he had well he has his hair now did he ever have because they give him he has a little i don't know if you ever i hate looking at the back of his head it's like a huge pet peeve of mine and i feel like i see it way more than i've ever i ever want you would hate the top of my head if you hate the back of his they're giving him little turf oh my god back oh my god it's so weird he has like a little turf bang mullet in the back can y'all see the cuts going on for years but he had he had hair plugs and then he had you know you see what i'm talking about yeah i see exactly what you mean i see exactly i hate looking at that that part of his head they should do that on the front too

speaking of heads can y'all still see the cuts or the bruises on top of my head or my body what happened to your head there's a bunch of? He hit his head on a garage door. I hit my head on a garage door right before Ben left. Like 30 minutes before the mug bang thing and I swear to God I thought it was going to hemorrhage and pop or something. Did you have brain damage?

I definitely had. His head was on the verge of exploding. And then I fell down these stairs in LA and I hit my head again on a brick wall this time. And the weight of exploding and then i fell down these stairs in la and i hit my head again on a brick wall this time and the weight of my luggage squished my head it was like the luggage between my head and a brick wall on the other side literally amelia bedelia on meth jock like waking up and being like i need to kill my son with a Bowflex. I don't have a son. I don't have a Bowflex.

Never mind. Like Chris Benoit brain damage, the exact same type. I can admit some error. It's because I've been taking these weed pills and they've been a little too strong. Wow. I wonder if anyone in your life

has told you to stop taking extra strength weed pills because it's going gonna get you killed. You're gonna accidentally commit suicide with a briefcase full of Delphars at LAX. I'm hoping they find out that

Bruce Willis doesn't have dementia and Wendy Williams, they're just taking these weed pills that make them non-verbal. I was on this... There's this Russian, quote-unquote, brown market website where you can get a bunch of off-brand...

Okay, what's the difference between gray market and brown market? You don't want to know, honey. Brown market's just a funnier term for it. It's shittier. Yeah, it's shittier. Yeah, yeah. Gray market implies that it's more sleek

and industrial. Brown market is like you know picking up a basket as it flows down a river of shit and hoping to get some some nice adderall in it or something but i was i've been interested in taking these off-brand russian dementia meds oh like those um it's called the methathene or something like that yeah you should yeah i bought some and i'm waiting for them to come and i'm doesn't it might change that it might change my life no she's not scared for you she's on some other shit but i'm like i really want to try this because it's like it's for adhd and dementia and. Yeah, because he has both. Honestly, I also feel like there's going to be a huge wave of dementia in our generation.

In an even bigger way, a fourth wave of feminism. Because of TikTok. Because of woke. Because of TikTok. Because of trans. Because of Instagram. Because of trans. Yeah.

You know, crap, all of that. I think it's it's definitely it's making people stupid it's making you know the ability in which in which someone can like focus on a certain thing amen duration is i mean it's reducing a closing window yeah it's falling My window is always closing. I think yours is shuttered. Yours is boarded up. Your window is a drawing of a window on a brick wall. Well, my doctor assures me that everything is fine somehow and that I'm okay. You have a bad doctor.

If your doctor is assuring you that. My doctor, I'm not going to say his name on air. You have a bad doctor. If your doctor is serving you that. My doctor. I'm not going to say his name on air because it's a new doctor. It's not a new doctor. It's a free episode, by the way. It's a free episode. I would never share my dude's

business on here, but he's a great doctor and he does me well. What's his name? His name is not your business. Dr. Nacho Business. Dr. Nacho Business. Dr. Nacho. Is he my name? Dr. Nacho Business LLC.

That's not your business. My phone number is still 337-296-1249. Oh my god. It's so annoying. Guess what? Just let people call him. Guess what?

It's going to end explosively it's not going to end explosively guess what guess what this phone number led me to what what after this uh recording where do y'all think i'm going after this because of the phone number a date no to the shooting range with a bunch of fucking punk boys wow that sounds sick yeah and they're bringing the guns and all i gotta do is pay for the bullets and they don't check if they're using you as a bullet bitch they don't even they don't shut. The classic gun range term. You're just jealous that I get to shoot guns and all you get to do is have tits, you bitch. Damn.

Got you. Your long, your mid-length hair will not save you today, nor will your pale skin. Did you read the comment when someone, you clearly read the comment when someone said, I love how Jock always makes fun of Hessa's mid-length hair and you're really doubling down on that today, aren't you? I do not read any of the comments.

Yeah, you're just so clearly lying. Yeah. I don't want to be taken advantage of by your lies and what is my truth. But I respect Hessa's. Even if I make fun of it, I respect Hessa. Again, it's not really making fun of it you're kind of just describing the quality just describing a quality it's not rude it's not i

guess maybe the implication that something someone's just kind of static being is so bad that you could just merely describe it and that would be an insult yeah i guess that's kind of the tone of an insult which is kind of insulting like hair if you said like a bitch yeah you said it like a huge cunt it could kind of work but i'll think of a way to hurt you later look outside yeah it's so beautiful oh my god. What the fuck? Jock is somewhere else, so it doesn't look as beautiful. Jock's going to get mad. It's not going to be beautiful until I open my window.

It's really beautiful. It's like a purple-pink sunset right now. It's amazing. Gorgeous. New York, baby. It was such a shitty day today, too. I didn't go outside once. I've been in bed.

I was on the street all day, girl. You were on the shitter all day. This city is miserable. You were hustling. I was hustling. I was like, this fucking city. I don't know what it is. This winter has been just, it's just taken so much from me.

It was a cold today? It's more just the dreariness. It's been pretty dreary. Not seeing the sun, the sun setting. I just can't, and I used to be, I used to love it. But something switched where I'm just like, I think it's literally that I'm 29. And I'm like, I'm only going to see the sun for 17 more hours.

20s, whatever. Something happened where I'm just like something switched, something switched big time, but it's almost over. She's a bottom now. That's what's switched. Yeah.

I mean, we can give up on this Biden thing. Does he have any more quotes horny quotes um pretend to be him basically he's just been talking about fucking all of his wives for for a very long time it's just it's kind of funny that this is coming out now because he's it seems that he's just gonna totally lose this election right i just yeah i mean oh it's just based off my my very sharp political instincts yeah feels like he's going down yeah and this is all of these things are part of some kind of new book where he's you know talking about how much he loves to... How much he loves to pork Jill.

The fuck diaries by Joe Biden. But I wonder if this is some kind of mangled attempt to get some attention from the youth who are just, you know, not going to vote for him at all. Yeah. If he's like, I love eatingill's ass and listen to doja cat me and jill are poly me and jill me and jill are monogamous but we fuck like we're poly you young people just like throwing up yeah that's that's a funny joe biden being like we

need we need to stop all these fake these fake buys there's too many fake buys you would win the election you would win the election unfortunately trump is much closer to coming out against fake bisexuals yes absolutely i saw kim petras release her like new album and i was like i wish she was on trump miami i wish she was on trump's radar because he would just demolish totally tear her apart he would say something so eviscerating about kim petras i feel i like he would, I don't know what it is, but I feel like he would really, really hate Kim Petras. Well, I don't like him.

It would turn him so transphobic to talk about Kim Petras. Well, he said before he likes the ones that look good, you know? But I feel like there's something about I don't feel like it would be that he hates her because she's trans. I feel like he's something about i is i don't feel like it would be that he hates

her because she's trans i feel like he would hate her in the way women hate each other at like the workplace yeah they're like competing with each other women in the workplace being like more misogynistic than the men to each other yeah yes no i think he would see her as competition he would he he would come at the angle of, I really used to respect her when she worked with a good friend of mine, Dr. Luke. Yeah, maybe. Also, though, it's a mixtape, by the way. It's not even a new album.

So stupid that someone like Kim Petras is putting out something called a mixtape. Second, I'm really jealous of her right now. I'm mad. I got really angry this week. I fucked up that baseball bat worse, Ben, after

I read the news. You'll be seeing the footage of what Jock... There was a couch versus Jock kind of scenario that happened and i destroyed a metal baseball bat to unused absolutely is this the couch that you guys look like it went through a trash compactor no that was a that was a friend's uh family's couch okay so um anyway she's doing a collab with ed what. What did you do? Why did you?

This is what made you angry? Because I'm like, why is that even more? Yeah. But then but then God looked back on me and said, you can have the dance competition. So Kim Petras did a project. What was that? So I just. Oh, my God. What?

What? You're not giving me dementia. giving me dementia so what happened to make you go go berserker with the discovery that she had started her own line of ed hardy clothing it's ed hardy because that's a dream for you kim petras yes because i'm like damn oh i wish i could have done that it's not really on the table it's not it's not like the offer was between you two it's not fair that she always gets more opportunities than me i think it is no offense i'm not trying to be a bitch i think think you're an amazing, talented artist, but she's a celebrity. Yeah. So can't I have one thing?

This bitch has blonde hair. Doesn't she have enough? She looks like a Mattel Barbie. Maybe you should start wearing a blonde. Maybe you should start doing Kim Petras drag. No, that sounds like a miserable job. But she just doesn't sound like someone who wants an ed hardy collab yeah that's how you get an ed hardy collab that's not what i said that's not what i even said you can't take that against me that's not what i said anyway she really was i said i know what i said because

i don't have dementia first you should dye your hair blonde, Chuck. You should dye your hair blonde. Yeah, the four pieces. Yes. Y'all know. No, I have an idea, Chuck. I have an idea. I have an idea. So what's hot right now?

Nostalgia. You know, people love cartoons. Like specifically nostalgia for when you're like 8 to 11. Cynthia from the Rugrats. Remember her hair? Literally four pieces of hair. That's what you need.

You could do that with your four pieces of hair. I don't want to become the iconic broken doll. I already am the iconic broken doll. That sounds like a really amazing bit it seems like i'm gonna end up there eventually oh i'm already here yeah i am i am not why not embrace it lead into it look i'm not even saying your hair blonde and style it like cynthia from the rugrats and you'll be famous i look i'm about to read myself i wish I was Cynthia from Rugrats

I'm barely the broken toys from Toy Story yeah you're the baby head toy from Toy Story that's like a spider with a baby head you knew what I was thinking about I knew exactly which one you were thinking about I knew

god y'all I'm opening a third bing thinking of. I knew. God, y'all. I'm opening a third Bing, fourth Bing. I don't even know. Y'all are giving me the Jeebus. Oh, no. Not the Jeebus. Yeah, don't give me the Jeebus. You guys want to guess some circumcision rates globally?

Yeah. Sure. Number one, France. I was fascinated by this map. It's pretty, i mean okay i know huge shockers i mean there might be some i don't know i don't know what do you guys think let's let's say this most circumcised country in the world israel duh no what ethiopia no I thought that was going to be it. Buffalo, New York. Why Israel, Jock?

Why Israel? Because there's so many Jews there, and the Jews cut their penises off. Don't cut their penises off. Cut them off. Are you circumcised, Jock? Hell no. This thing, this noodle's 100% organic. A noodle?

I don't know why I'm saying the worst things I've ever decided to say in one episode. Something's up with you today. This dingle dangling cut, it's uncut. Also, one time I dated this guy for six months, and I asked him, are you cut or uncut? And he was so offended, and we broke up really soon after that. Why was he offended? What was up like really soon after that. Did he? What was up with his foreskin? Did you not tell?

No, he just had a not memorable dick. Oh. And we were open. After you broke up? No, it was while we were dating. Oh. Wait, so this is someone who you were sucking off every day. Someone that was acting.

Are you cut or uncut? Yeah, and he was so offended. Like over dinner. Okay, now I can understand why you were sucking off every day. Someone that was acting. Are you cut or uncut? Yeah, and he was so offended. Like over dinner. Okay, now I can understand why they got mad at you. The way you told that was so slanted. Whoa. Hold on. I broke up.

I broke up with him because he was walking through the mall, and he got a boner because he was on GHB, and I was like, you are literally too trashy. And then also now he had all of his teeth replaced and has big white chompers. I don't want to have to go back. There's nothing. There's no one. There's no connection.

And he got a connection. He got him. I'm making him up. I'm making him up. He got a male. He's not real. He got married to someone like 25-30 years younger than him

well that's not true how old is he no he's not that old he got married to a baby he got big teeth and then he thought he was a big child and he thought he was marrying Big Shower. He got married to someone 20 years younger. And he's out here marrying babies, y'all. He got married to some 20-year-old.

Married to this huge teen. He thinks he's better than me. Well, he does think he's better than me and I'm better than him. But the thing is, is he got a mail order bride from a place, a small place. Did you almost just say whore? No, whore.com. Iore? No, whore.com. I almost said where he ordered his boyfriend, I mean his husband from.

Honduras? No. How's the circumcision rate in Honduras? Oh, they are cut. Yeah, South America, I feel like. Central America, they're not cutting. I'm telling you all the place, but don't say it out loud because then it really is doxing. Well, I don't care if I can't say it out loud.

You can't read it? You can't read one thing? Just give me a little thought. That is the craziest way to start that state. The way, the sound you made is. That country, maybe. I thought it was, nevermind. I'm not going to.

You thought that was a country? No, I'm not. Stop. I'm not going to go there. It's a state. It's a very famous state. I forgot, I forgot, I forgot. Just give me a minute.

Don't, don't, don't smile. Don't look, don't make your eyes go back and forth like a hockey puck on an air hockey board. Wow. Someone's been going to the creative writing class. Someone's been reading. I want to say something so funny. It sucks so much for the listeners I want to say something so funny. And it's so, I've been waiting.

It sucks so much for the listeners. And for us, when you're like, I want to say something, but I can't. Just don't say it at all. I hate that. Unless you want to say it. You can always say it. What is the protocol for seeing someone you know on Sniffies hosting the cum dump that you have been doing? Are you sure you want to keep going down this road?

Let's go to Sniffies. No. No. I'm kidding. What is the protocol for being on Sniffies and seeing someone who you're hooking up with have a cum dump? Is that your question? Hosting the cum dump. I feel like if I were you...

They might be doing it as a favor to a friend. Yeah. Someone was like, can I use your apartment? Yeah. They are the cum dump. They advertise it. They're getting dumped in. I would be disgusted, I'm not going to lie.

Yeah. I would be pretty grossed out. I'm be i'm gonna be honest it didn't gross me out as much as more so as i thought yeah should i should i go i'm not enough should i show up yeah well no should i go before uh the nutting starts and like go get my nutted and then like then I'll be like you know mark your territory you literally going to sabotage this person's cum dump I'm not sabotaging the cum dump I just want to be the first in line

you know he would sabotage it Hessa I know it's true I should on the bed she's like I'm just gonna go to the bathroom to ruin this beautiful woman's cum dump because you're jealous oh she's trans okay well that is i don't mean i don't mean to i don't mean to jump to conclusions but she is on sniffies.com having a cum dump if she says that's

crazy that is crazy if she says cisgendered woman I'm sorry is it weird that I've been dating this the coolest bitch that's the coolest woman on the planet that is the coolest is that not normal is that not normal

this cis this cis girl she's been is she cis no I'm just kidding This cis girl, she's been... Is she cis? No, I'm just kidding. I was trying to go with the... Oh.

I done put myself in a dilemma. You stepped in it. I stepped in it. You done stepped in it, Mr. Joe. You done stepped in it. I'm done for this one. All right, what do you think the... Oh, most circumcised country.

I wanted to do this as a... Because I'm so obsessed with these TikTok one. All right. What do you think the most circumcised country? I wanted to do this because I'm so obsessed with these TikTok bits. Puerto Rico. No, you're so bad at it. Just let me talk. I'm so obsessed with these TikTok bits where guys in malls go up and are like, name five states and start with Q or whatever. Name five countries and start with P.

By the way, Jock, can you name five states that start with Q right now? Stop. Look at his face. Just short-circuited him. He just thought that that state was its own country. I can't say the state, but it's an iconic state, guys.

Oh, God. So, I wanted to do a riff on that bit but go to you and be like can you name the most three circumcised countries in the world what are they can you name number three um number three iran north korea and you guys can I guess one? Can I guess number one? Yeah. Okay, Iran... Sorry, North Korea is number one. Oh, fuck. Well, they might be lying, though, because they're...

Aren't they a dictatorship? So they might be doing fake, false... More Western propaganda coming from... Yeah, they're juicing the numbers. They're juicing the numbers. It's and then Algeria, I believe. Okay.

Yeah. Well, no, there's Nigeria. There's a lot at 99. A lot of Africa. Yeah, see, that's why Ethiopia was a good guess, right? Ethiopia was a good guess.? Ethiopia was a good guess Ethiopia is 92 because there must be some ethnic thing happening there

where they don't do circumcision as much as like northern Africa yeah Jacques are you okay? I was just thinking about something else I was just thinking of states really amazing way to pacify him.

I'm not. I'm not even thinking. Have you thought of one? I am not thinking about states because there's no states living in the queue. Shut up. There's no states living in the queue. What were you thinking about? You were deep in thought there for a while.

I was thinking to myself. I've said so much. Kuwait. Shut up. That's not even what I was thinking to myself, I've said too much. Kuwait? Shut up! That's not even what I was doing. Y'all are, you two are too fucking retarded. Can you name five countries that start with T? Gypsy.

Nope. Okay, he's lashing out. He's lashing out. Okay, five countries that begin with T. Turkey, Turkmenistan, India, Tunisia, Don't ask me to do something if you're not even giving me a chance to do it.

Turkmenistan. You didn't even say go. Give me another one. Five countries that start with P, go. Panama, Peru. Stop! Let me get... Okay, you name the letter with P, go. Panama, Peru. Stop! Let me, let me. Okay, you name the letter then and say go. Okay.

Name the letter. R. Russia. Rwanda. Russia. Stop! Okay, oh my God. I'm not doing this if I can't have the floor.

Oh, it's a competition. Oh God. Oh God.'s a competition. Oh, God. Oh, God. Romania. Rafganistan. Rafganistan, yep. Nice try.

Rafika. Rifraf's nation. Rifraf United. United Emirates of Rifraf. Well, that started with a u also there was just an r in there rizopolis oh that's a city nice um nice randall's palace well that's just a bar okay that's just a place that's just a place that start with R? Room. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Restroom.

Restaurant. Restaurant. Rest stop. Jock, name three places where it's illegal to be gay. That starts with Q. Lafayette, Louisiana. Qatar. Quackistan. Kuwait guitar probably qatar yeah it's okay no it isn't don't tell me don't tell me how it starts with a k

1000 kuwait q u w a q u wait thank you just wait q u wait Q-U-8. Q-U-8. Q-U-8. I said Q. You better wait. That's how Q-8 is spelled. That's how it's spelled, a Q-U and an 8. I should be in charge. It's like a vanity plate. I should be in charge of the United Nations, and I'm not saying this for me.

What would your first move be if you were named uh head of the united nations we would find a new word for retard and we would take it back for the for the world so that people could have rights over it and then address the u.n assembly right now with your proposition to do that people if i'm holding one finger up that means everyone has to be quiet. Even if you don't understand the language I'm speaking, your translator will translate it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so this is what I need. Look, now that I'm the new leader,

there's going to be some changes around here. Hey, Russia! No. No talking right now. Okay, so we're going to need some changes in here. First of all, bring that pallet of Bing and put it right here. Okay, everyone at the end of the meeting, crack a Bing. Get used to it.

We're going to be drinking them before the meeting. Get us ready. I'm going to have one right now. Okay, thank you. Give me a minute to gulp. He's stalling. He's stalling on the return proposition. I'm not stalling.

This is the two countries next to each other. Order, order. I am the new boss. I am your new. This is the two countries next to each other. Order! Order! I will. I am the new boss. I am your new boss. He's absolutely Stalin. And I will not. No one's going to vote for the retard proposition. No. No. No. No. No. I do have propositions. If y'all could let me get to it and the peanut gallery could stop being...

I've never heard such a loud peanut gallery at the damn United Nations. He just keeps continuing to stall. It's pathetic. First order is that we are going to protect the Nutria rats. We are not going to allow them to be killed in Louisiana or across the nation anymore. We are bringing back. I'm sorry, Lisa. Lisa Vanderpump.

I'm sorry. We're bringing back the Yulin Dog Festival. It's bringing in too much money into China. We need the money. Let's go. And then finally, my final proposition of the day, just today, just of the next. I think he forgot what he forgot. I think he forgot.

Shut up, Costa Rica. Costa Rica and Italy. Can you two either put a put a finger up your butt or shut the fuck up? I don't I don't think he realizes that I'm in the United States. The retard proposition will make it legal for us to say a word that has been forbidden

across the world. I don't think so at all. I am never working with you two again in the United Nations, okay? If y'all started without me, you can finish without me too. We didn't even start the episode without you. We literally recorded evidence that we didn't start without you.

You're such a fucking maniac. I'm screenshotting like I'm angry that y'all are just laughing. I'm not screenshotting for you. I'm screenshotting, y'all are just laughing i'm not screenshotting for you i'm screenshotting y'all oh my god should we take a test no yes let's take a test okay if hessa wants to i'll do it only if it was it was the plan but jock if you want to leave you can wait no i want to say yeah oh the least circumcised country? Oh, the least circumcised. I believe it was Honduras, actually. What is the most circumcised country? It's.01

in Honduras. Can you imagine being the one guy? The one Jewish guy in Honduras. In Honduras, they don't even have address. It happened on accident. The one guy who got circumcised. They don't have street names in

honduras like this guy has so rude of you to judge their country we probably have a lot of listeners from honduras so i would watch what you say he's probably never seen a cut penis in his life he probably thinks something is so wrong with him yeah he's the one guy who's circumcised the one guy who's just probably so embarrassed or he's revered and respected he might be the president yeah he might be the leader

he might be in charge of the United Nations that's true let me just ask I think they'd love you there do y'all think that the head of the United Nations is cut or uncut do you think the head of the united nations is cut or uncut and does that affect us do you think the head of the united nations is cut or uncut and do you think that is there a head of the united yeah

there is um like a general consul like a guy that gets elected i think he's from um i think he's from somewhere in africa does that make him a better leader if he's cut or uncut? I mean, I think I'm I'm I'll say I'm preferential to uncut. I think it's I think it's just normal. It's natural. And as our as our 56 year old hairdresser and mother of two recently told me after I posted the video of the circumcision to Instagram and asked for photo evidence of the country you're from. She did tell me that she would not send me a picture of her son's cock, but she said circumcision is a useless and unnecessary procedure, and she would never do that.

So mother of the year. Yes. I think it's pronounced mother. Mother. She's the mother. She's the mother, darling. We love you. Shout darling. We love you. Shout out. We love you so much.

We love you and we'll never forget about you. You made me cry when you told me. I reminded you. We all cried a little bit. I cry every time we talk. When you told us that we remind you of your dead gay friends. Let's go to

a quiz here, guys. Dr. Professor is in the room. We've got 35 questions. Okay. We are sticking through to the end, y'all. We're not doing half and half quizzes anymore. We can't do it again. We're not doing half and half quizzes anymore.

I don't care. Wait, wait, wait. If you have some. I think my Uber Eats delivery just got here. Can I go get it? All right. Talk to you later. No, bye.

Bye. Yeah, see how that goes, bitch. Nice try. I see how everything goes because I'm a psychic now. That accident in LA changed me. It might, dude. I woke up after that head injury. You, in particular, have to be hair careful with the

head injuries i'm telling you please if i die you stop doing so much thc that you can't walk downstairs look i'm saying that to you as a friend well because i wasn't sleeping either which was really the might also be related to the massive drug use but question one and guys are on 100 yeah it sounded the way you said that it sounded like I can only go downstairs and safely if I'm asleep if I'm sleepwalking I would love to see

I would love to see video literally something downstairs wait I'm ready to continue but I have to say one thing okay um one time i watched my dad fall down the stairs and it's still one of my most treasured memories of like all time it was so good nice all right so guys these are on a um a classic um a website very much agree what it's on a website nope just listen um so it's very much disagree to disagree to neutral to agree to very much agree to classic setup jock does that make sense to you wait were you saying something yeah i heard i heard i'm ready. I'm sorry. So question one.

My calm and collected exterior often hides my true intentions. Very true. I think I'll agree with that. I'll very agree with that. Jacques, I don't think you could hide your intentions if your life depended on it. I just think I should be able to answer for myself. But if you think I'm incompetent and I can't. For the record, I do agree with Hesley. You are bad at hiding your intentions.

I have never. I'm very. You're kind of just a bleeding well of emotion. I'm an espionage agent, and y'all wouldn't even know. You just told us, so that would be. Yeah, you did just tell us that you were espionage asian yeah i had that going for like four years yeah okay whatever uh i'll i'll take fine i'll let you you you answer this one question y'all can no you're you're like no you can put here yeah no no no i've learned my

lesson dr professor and i'll my calm and collected exterior often hides my true intentions. I would, and I'm not saying this in a mean way, I would say that is a, I would very much disagree with that for you. Because I'm not calm and collected? Yeah. That's part of it. Yeah, the premise is impossible to, we'll just start with that.

We can just wholesale reject this premise for you, but even if you were i think the intentions would still be pretty legible and that's true for me too jock i'm i i don't really hide my intentions well at all i would say it's very obvious what what put what you know grinds my gears i mean i don't usually i don't hide try to hide my intentions but yeah if i wanted to i feel like i could you're very mysterious and i don't know what what what secret rules you operate under and i i'm always questioning every one of your

movements i don't i don't know what kind of god you obey literally i'm not even i'm sorry like i love you but i don't know what kind of god you obey i i mean it tells a lot about people i could be all right i'm putting two thumbs down for you sorry hassa what did you say what kind of God you obey. I mean, it tells a lot about people. I could be a godless Jezebel. I'm putting two thumbs down for you. Sorry. Hessa, what did you say? Wait, I'm getting a two thumbs down rating?

Lightly agree? Yeah. Okay. I just thought you were giving me two thumbs down as a review. It's easier to think about it this way, Jock. Maybe this is better for you. So you can do two thumbs down, one thumb down, thumb sideways, thumb up up or two thumbs up that's what i get to choose you feel like i'm teaching a special ed class yeah okay check out yes yes sir i struggle with deep-seated feelings of and humiliation?

Yes. Double. Double? Two thumbs up? Yeah, honestly, yeah. I don't feel sexually inadequate, but I feel inadequate about being a human being compared to anyone, especially Hester or Ben. I'm going to say neutral on that one for me.

Okay. I don't think they're that deep-seated. Yeah, this was too intense for me. Yeah, too intense. I was like, it's not that big. Honestly, I don't really give a fuck. Inadequacy is kind of, yeah, just something I wouldn't really think about.

My life is my life. Ben's not ashamed of his small about. My life is my life. Ben's not ashamed of his small cock. He's proud of it. You know? What would be the problem if that was true? Nothing. I'm just saying there's nothing wrong with that. I'm just saying Ben's always been very outspoken and proud about his

incredibly tiny small cock. And it's not small for the record. No, it's fine. It's fine. It's actually totally... I'm not even going to say it's big because I'd be crazy. I noticed that Latino inside of you that makes it... Question

three. This character. What did he say? He said, I noticed that Latino inside of me. Wow. That's actually something that people have said that before oh they're like oh my god being i can't believe the latino inside of you well it would be a white guy saying that not a latino oh my god then i can't believe how how big your cock is because

it's probably because you're latino there we go oh this bitch is eating soup. Question three. It's fried rice. It's fried rice. It's very clearly fried rice. It's in a box. It's in a box. This fucking soup-ass bitch. I see the soup. You don't have to hide it.

It's in a classic fried rice foldable takeout container. I just don't like being lied to. Really? The dementia thawing. Eating spaghetti from a plate. This bitch is eating soup. She thinks she's better than me. All right.

Question three. There's a part of me that is fascinated by the macabre and taboo. Very true. Absolutely true. Yeah, very true for me too. Jock, what's the most fucked up thing you're into in this sense? What's the most macabre or taboo thing you're fascinated by um probably uh i'm trying to think of an honest answer because i i don't yeah snuff films aren't for me um that's good it's good that we know where the line it would be really fucked up if

they were for if you love it I'm trying to think I'm trying to think of the most fucked up thing that like I don't know I've been with some people that are like let's hit each other till we like like we bleed or something.

Till we die. Okay. But that's not even, okay. Let me think of a better example. That doesn't really. Yeah. I mean,

I have to, I mean, it's, it's, you can just say like, like I like a serial killers, alien stuff, you know?

Oh, I love unsolved mysteries. I watched that a lot. And then sometimes I get on YouTube and look up murders. But that's not, that's pretty A-level. Murder is typing murders into the YouTube search. Oh my God, no. I have to say, you don't like snuff films.

Real life murder. When I bartended that lesbian engagement party, this woman walked up. She says, oh my God, I heard you do podcasts. Murder? Oh God. party this woman walked up she says oh my god i heard you do podcasts murder oh god a fucking nightmare for me and then and then i being at a lesbian wedding with a bunch of true crime junkies it's like i'd kill myself and then i proceeded to tell this 40 year old woman uh a murder that i could think of from my, like, not that, like, not from my personal life,

as in, like... Just a totally, a totally... Well, a murder that happened in my home... No, I was very descriptive. A murder that happened in my hometown that happened to one of my friends. And it was just really... And she was like, wow, that's really depressing.

I was like, well, you brought it up. She's the one who said she loved true crime. Yeah, I thought of the worst true crime story I could say. Yeah. And I told her. And then I was like, you brought it up she's the one who said she loved true crime yeah I thought of the worst true crime story I could say and then I told her and then I was like what if I died you got that bitch when someone's like I'm into true crime I'm like oh yeah my dad was murdered

he had 17 pins pushed into his eyeballs by the eyeball pin pusher I watch this I feel better now fat. I watch this. I feel better now, fat bitch. I watch this bitch. I watch this. My dad's jigsaw.

I watch this murder bitch pull up to the fucking engagement party. That murder bitch is so true. She was such a type of woman. She was drinking while she was driving and she didn't even have a koozie. Yeah, that's classic murder bitch behavior. She wasn't even hiding that.

She had a glass beer bottle in her hand when she pulled up that she was finishing. I was like, oh. Louisiana. Yeah, I guess whatever. Next question. It's legal down there. Question four. People respect my intelligence and often come to me for advice.

I would go to Hessa. Hessa, I'd go to you with a very specific question. Yeah, I'd say thumbs up. One thumb up. People have asked me for advice before. No one comes to me for really advice. I would come to you for advice. I was a thumbs down on that one

ever since I posted my phone number I get text messages and phone calls asking me for advice on the daily I am I'm leading the nation so that's a double thumbs up for me that's concerning why don't you sip your water bitch

we both really are not comfortable with that but it's your life. Do whatever you want. You too wish that people asked you for advice. I don't wish my phone number was public. I would be really annoying if there was a public phone number. I think my phone number got leaked in a

data leak or something because I get a million phone calls a day. Yeah, mine must have been leaked too and some weird data leak or something because it just keeps happening. It's like weird. Some kind of crazy leak happened. Some kind of really random leakage.

Anal leakage. Let's go. Okay. Nice association. What were you on that, Jugg? I'm a double thumbs up. Two thumbs up, my bud. Okay, question five.

I'm interested in power dynamics and I'm an intense student of people's behavior in different situations. I don't know. Neutral. That sounds a bit intense for me. I was a thumbs up for that. I love... I don't know. Yeah, give me a thumbs up.

I'll copy you. I'll copy you. Copying you. Jock? How's that for a power dynamic? What? Wait, can you say it again? I'm sorry.

I had the blackout. You had the blackout. You had to blackout? I had the blackout. Did I stutter? Yeah. Jock had the blackout. I had the blackout.

Did I stutter? Chuck had the blackout. I'm interested in power dynamics and am an intense student of people's behavior in different situations. Absolutely. This is the double thumbs up the butt. Two thumbers going straight up. Stop getting upset, Dr. Professor.

I'm not upset. You look upset. Can you change your face? You're projecting. I'm not projecting. I like how my face looks right now. I just wish you could change yours. It's just a request.

It's a friendly one. I fiercely defend myself and those I care about, sometimes adopting extreme measures to do so. True. True. Yeah. Double thumbs. Yeah. I'll do rising towards the sun.

I've done some crazy shit. Yeah. Really? Just to people who mildly annoy me. Yes. That's so weird. That can't be true. I don't think I've ever experienced that before.

Oh, you think I've done it to you? Oh, before. Oh, you think I've done it to you? Oh, yeah. Oh, you think I've got it? Yeah, of course. You wish. You wish. Oh, my God. What are you, two thumbs up on that, Jock?

Yeah, I said two thumbs to the sky. Praise our Lord and Savior. Benjamin Christ. I have an interest in entertaining others and tend to take on different personas to do so yeah i'd say thumbs up for that one do y'all think i put on different personas or you think i have the same persona all the time i think you you could i i think i've seen your brain short circuit trying to put on a different persona. I think you have mood swings. Yes. For sure. That's not

what I asked. That's actually not what I asked. It's kind of an answer. You have... I think you must be confused. I think you are... What you see is what you got with you, Jacques.

Yeah, I would thank you. But I wouldn't necessarily call it one person in there. I think I have a very sweet side that people don't see. I think you come across as a very sweet person. You're a sweet person.

Well, I don't know. I mean, I've seen the text message y'all sent to me, so I don't know if I come off that way. Ay, ay, ay. Lying. I love to have fun on a podcast. She's eating her soup again. I can see her licking her soup lip in the background.

It's okay. Question eight. I have always felt like an outsider struggling to understand social norms and fit in that's a big thumbs up for me i don't fit in i don't feel like i don't belong to anyone or anywhere wow that's a curveball house though no offense yeah social norms you don't think you've ever struggled to obey social norms yeah social norms do i not obey well you have tell me tell me please no no no i'll tell you one right now you're not like a regular girl because you i gave two thumbs down on that one because i was

just like gay she's not like she's not like a regular girl she has she doesn't have short hair and she doesn't have long hair she has mid-length hair rare yeah i guess i'll do thumbs up them yeah it's about time you agree the middling because of the hair that's not the only thing she does because of the hair people i don't know what that means. Oh, you should, honey, because it's posted all over the internet. Jock, you were two thumbs up on that. Yes, I shouldn't have to tell you twice, Dr. Professor. I thought you were listening to me. Ben just turned and looked at me like I hit his baby.

I'm sorry. I'm just having fun. I'm just poking. Look look sometimes people like to have fun and i'm taking a quiz and i'm trying to make fun out of it because you know we have to talk about circumcisions for like an hour earlier and i'm trying to it was about it was about four minutes yeah i really did not talk about it for that long about four minutes so it was the joe biden thing yes mostly mostly about some bullshit that happened with you i kind of blanked it out i think it's pronounced blacking it out blanked it out is totally your own terminology.

That's a blank out. A blank out is a jerk off of the cum come out. That's called shooting blanks. That's called shooting blanks. That's a blank out. That's a blank out. Blank out is a jerk off of the cum come out. That's what you just said.

The fuck? Going on. I'm serious. Why are you looking? No, you're not serious. What is I'm serious about? I'm being serious about the blank call.

Blanked out. Blanked out. It's like the cum came out the tip of the dick. I don't know what you're talking about at all. I'm sorry. I think I need to... Look, talking about at all I'm sorry I'm trying to understand Jock can you rephrase

rephrase that sentence the cum came out of the penis tip because he blanked out he blanked out who was he I'm trying to give an example use it in a give an example I'm trying to give an example use it in a sentence

an example of what what are you trying to give an example of the gentleman could not make it through watching the Vin Diesel early 2000's feature of Triple X without blanking out he blanked out okay so again

when I say that the cum cum comes out the tip of the penis that would indicate coming i think that's what happens i don't think i'm i don't think i'm i'm alone on this where that's what happens when uh i've never once heard blank out you blanked out in any or shooting do you mean shooting blanks shooting blanks means that you have low sperm count but then also you both are pretty inexperienced with sexual activities so I would understand that y'all

wouldn't know what this is I'm still what is it though I'm not even saying that i can't even say something doesn't exist because you haven't even described it i feel like i have described it so coming i just i've described it so like okay one more time just one more time please penis come out the tip with the cum come out when he comes you're so so ridiculous. Nice question.

So, I just... What do you want from me? I'm telling you exactly what you want. I'm saying the definition of blanked out means that a man has come out of his dick from the ejaculation. Am I speaking a different language? Are you joking? I can't tell if you're joking or not.

What do you mean? What am I joking? Usually when he does one of his like, oh, I'm just misunderstanding the premise or just like free associating. I know that I am not the only person. It's usually not, he doesn't stick by it this hard, but he's really sticking by it.

He's really sticking by it. There's nothing to stick by. It's true. I feel like, oh no, i made a very bad mistake yeah no no no i i was i was trying to i wasn't recording no no no i haven't been recording by the way guys no no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Okay, it didn't happen. Also, my computer is my microwave right now. My computer is my microwave. Are you guys even there?

Stop. I was trying to send a picture to the group chat, and then I accidentally sent 179 pictures at once, and so I had to really quickly quit the program before I crashed. I was just trying to send... I just wanted to send y'all one... Some of those pictures would have been... Yes, I'm sure. Oh, God. Some of those pictures.

I screenshot the worst holes I see on Sniffies. I'm sure that it's not yours. By the way, if you guys see any disgusting holes, they're just screenshots from Sniffies sure that's not yours and and i said we always if you guys see any disgusting holes they're just screenshots from sniffies it's not mine well no no well i don't mean i honestly i'm sure my hole is still in recovery right now but it doesn't look great but like um what i was gonna say is that all right all right no no no no you don't get it

do you have to scream no, no, no every time I start talking? Yes, I do. I have to because that's how it works. What do you have to say? I have to say that the screenshots I take from sniffies are of the worst buttholes because me and my friend, my old roommate, send the pictures back and forth

and try to outdo each other with the worst buttholes and the worst things that we can see on sniffies. Okay, that's it. Thank you for giving me the floor. try to outdo each other with the worst buttholes and the worst things that we can see on snippies. Okay. That's it. That's all. Thank you for giving me the floor. Don't do that.

Angry blink, bitch. I'm wondering if you're done just checking. Just, I'm just leaving some clearance here. You're in the clearance section. Not me, honey.

Nice. Uh, question nine. I lead a double life, keeping my true self hidden from those around me. I'm going to have to say two thumbs down on this nine. I lead a double life, keeping my true self hidden from those around me. I'm going to have to say two thumbs down on this one. Oh, really? I think I lead a double life.

Yeah. All right. Mine is a two thumbs down as well because I don't think I have any secrets. I think you think you have secrets. But I've said them all on this podcast them all then you forget you say them yes there's been a lot there's been there's been way too many instances of this happening between me and you to count literally you'll tell me something in like then i just gotta tell you don't tell anyone like just i gotta tell you this one thing that happened

and you'll tell me i'll be like you literally told that to like seven people the group chat yesterday you said that on the podcast on a free episode yeah i keep saying the wrong things at the wrong time it's gonna get questions my interests are often considered unconventional or disturbing yes others this is i think this has got to be two thumbs. If you think about the general public, right? Yeah, two thumbs up. What we spend our time doing on a day-in, day-out basis. Dressing like a girl. Something I do.

I didn't say that. I'm thinking about how disgusted y'all are with my personal life and my personal choices. I'm not disgusted with your personal life. Some of them are a little. Some of them. Actually, I'm a little. I'm very disgusted with a lot of your personal choices. But not in a judgmental

way. You know, I still love you. In a safety way. I still want the best for you. It's kind of the way you were. If you had a grandma who was like Because my grandparents are dead. Is that why? If you had a grandmother who was like because my grandparents are dead is that why if you had a grandmother who had like 12 broken hips and she like wouldn't stop ice skating you wouldn't be like i hate ice skating you would be like i wish you would change you know yeah stop ice skating

so you're saying you wish you wish me smoke stop smoke weed you want me to stop smoking you wish me stop you wish me stop smoking weed you just literally just said that like you wish me stop that's not the boy wish me stop that was crazy dude you wish me stop smoking weed, though? Oh, come on. I almost just lit my... You wish me stop smoking weed.

Stop making me laugh so hard. I almost lit my microphone on fire. That was crazy, John. Yes, I do wish you would stop. I do wish you would stop, yeah. Because of recent stuff like that. The microphone sounds like it works still. Wish me stop, pun me, weed smoking.

I didn't even mean to say it like that. You wish me stop. Asking Jack to stop doing hard drugs you wish me stop but to boy me never stop me die this way me die this way

I feel like I'm going to pee. Me die this way. Me die high. Me die high. I can't stop drooling. I got the drool in my eye. What? What happened?

Why are you drooling your eyes dude this is what I'm trying to say I'm saying it out of love you wish me stop smoking weed you wish me stop oh yeah man

yeah oh god y'all that's gonna be a double thumbs up for sure that you have a disturbing lifestyle question 11 i maintain a careful and well curated image for the outside world that's a that's a two thumbs up for me and if you are why would you even play a character hold on let me wait hold on everybody everybody's shush let's hear about let's hear from the peanut gallery in the back who thinks who said don't

think so has to explain your reasoning why you don't think that's true. Please. Please, doctor. How do you even start with this one? Yes, I mean, I don't understand. What do you mean? Look, I literally won. You're reading your phone number, bitch. I won a dance competition on a Jumbotron yesterday.

So, I think that you two should speak to me with a little bit more respect that related what is this noise oh sorry yeah yeah you should you should get it together a little bit you should just try a little harder for us why are you being so rude i'm sorry i'm not trying to be rude to you i'm just trying to be rude at you i'm not trying to be rude to you. I'm just trying to be rude at you. I'm not trying to be rude at you. Do you want to apologize? I'm so sorry, Ben. And I'm also sorry, Hessa, for being... Oh, that's okay.

But I am still sorry for the way that I've acted today. Question 11. I maintain a careful and well-curated image for the outside world. Two thumbs up. Two thumbs up. I literally. Have you seen my. Look at your Instagram and look at mine.

Look at your Instagram and look at mine. Look at mine. Mine is a carefully curated. You're begging people to buy a painting or you'll kill yourself. I've never once said that. Look. Wow. There's selfies of me.

There's a picture of Lois from Family Guy. Oh, wait, that's actually. I'm just going to run to the bathroom really quickly. I mean, whatever. Give me your answer first. I'll just do one thumb down. Yeah, checks out. This bitch be pissing.

Well, I'll just answer for her while she's gone. I don't want to answer for her because I feel like that's illegal, Dr. Professor. Okay, well, I'll answer for her then. Yeah. I have. I'm very well... Aware of fraudulence? Because you've been sued for it.

I have not been sued for fraud before. Is that really true? Because I kind of remember this one time. I've never been sued for fraud. You don't have to lie about it to the other people. When? I'm genuinely curious. In Denver. That's why you left Denver.

No. It's like he forgets his crimes. That's his way of forgiving himself. Wait, what do you think happened in Denver? You were being arrested for fraud and you you skipped town you don't remember that no no no it's okay look you don't i left denver to work for the bernie campaign everyone has forgiven you no one is no one is holding that above your head i mean whatever you can you can say that um so i'm just i'm giving you two thumbs down for that i am fascinated by folklore in tales that blur the lines between history and myth yes that's very true and i took that i literally took

a folklore and mythology class in college i i think you're obsessed with blurring the lines between history and myth as well and you know academic sense, Because that's where you find the real truth. That's where you find the truth is when you blend reality and reality. Is when I lie sometimes. That's when you find the truth. Y'all are making me want to... You got to read between the lies, Tessa.

You got to read between the lies, Tessa. Tessa, you got to read between the lines. All right, Hessa, you gotta read between the lines. All right, Hessa, you're two thumbs up for that. Hessa, you're two thumbs up for that. Question 13. 13. Of 35. Can you stop doing that?

I'm so sorry. Question 13 of 35. I have a strong sense of confidence in my abilities and intellect. Neutral. Yeah, I'll do one thumb up. It does not seem cocky. Neutral. No, that sounds right.

I was a one thumb up for that. Jock, you're neutral? Yeah, I'm neutral. I'm stupid sometimes. Finally getting some honesty out of you. Question 14. And she goes with the soup again. I prefer to work independently and maintain direct control over my projects.

Double thumbs up. Yeah, I'll do a thumbs up for that one. I think it's ideal. Who doesn't love that? Autonomy. Autonomy. I find myself drawn to the mysteries of the past

and sometimes feel like I belong to a different era. Yes, absolutely. What era would you be in, Jock? 1800s Louisiana, probably. Medieval times. I think I would have fit in really well in the 70s. Were you on the show when Jock said that he would have joined to fight in the Industrial Revolution?

I did not. He said he would have fought in the Industrial Revolution. I did not say that he i would have fought the industrial revolution i did not say that yes you did you one thousand percent did i did not say that yes you did again i would have i would have fought in the industrial revolution i i just said I would have... Y'all, I'm being mis... You literally said that. I want y'all to bring evidence

if you've listened long enough. All right, I'll find some fucking episodes. Because what I probably said is... If any listener remembers what episode that is. I would have said I would have slayed at the Industrial Revolution. I didn't say I would have fought in the... There was no war.

Well, yeah. Yeah. But just for the record, it doesn't matter what time period it is, I win every battle. Even in 2050? What time period do you want to go to, Jock? What different

era do you want? What era would you fit into perfectly? I kind of feel like this 1700s puritan society yeah yes yeah imagine me singing singing in the church would try to sink you in a lake so quick oh my god i just never mind well okay yeah, yeah, last night when that sucker ass, the MC Sucker of the Week team, what team was it even? What? Last night at the basketball game, they were doing a free throw shot,

and I was like, no one loves you. No one, your family doesn't love you. And then I changed. I kept saying different things every time. And the last thing I said, she's a witch. Burn her. Nice. Wait, were the women in the NBA?

Yeah, they're in the NBA. What did you say? The Pels are huge. Wait, but you were screaming this at men. At what? She's a witch. Burn her. This this wasn't it was at a man yeah it was okay it was a man on the i just thought it was a funny change up everyone around nice okay so find myself drawn to the mysteries of the past sometimes feel like i'm a luxury different era jock you're going to 1700s um colonial america and actually i changed my answer I want to go to early 1900s

World Fair 1912 World Fair why? looked cool pretty simple that's a good reason I would want to live in I would want to live in 2023

I've never hated you more in my life. When you answer some bullshit like that, you cracked out, bitch. I want to go to like Babylonian times. Roman times. I want to have gay sex. I'm sorry.

It's a really sexy time. Hair like this and skin like this. Of course you choose Babylonia. Thank you. That's very sweet. Oh, Fag Central. I think I would pick up Zari. I think I'd do pretty well.

So better than New Orleans. I have two boyfriends in New Orleans. I've got two boyfriends in New Orleans, and one's name is Dad, and one's name is Fred. What? I don't know.

I'm trying it out. Give me a fucking break. I'm not perfect. No, I was just curious where you're going with that. That's it. I'm adding. Take a note. You wish me stop smoking weed. You wish me stop. I did not even need to say it you never me never stopped you wish

me stop smoking weed yeah it's the craziest thing that i really was not trying to speak i saw your face when you were i saw your face when you were saying it and it's that kind of like i know this is a good episode but I have made so many mistakes it's okay there's no mistakes there's no mistakes just happy accidents we are not even halfway okay well then you should probably speak a little faster

you're so rude I'm so sorry I'm just throwing it back I'll forgive you one day what are you on today? you're on something today I'm so sorry. I'm just throwing it back. I'll give you one day. What are you on today? You're on something today. I'm not on anything. That's it.

What are you off? What are you off today? It's like jazz. It's the drugs. It doesn't take it. Actually, wait. I didn't take one thing and I see it in front of me. Can you take it? Can you take the pill for mommy, please? He's been...

What did he get? What is that? A VHS? Full of drugs? It's a VHS tape of... He just's a VHS tape of he just opened a VHS tape and turned it over and a pill fell out

of the little wheel that's like the closest one I prescribed this medicine but I forgot to take it today and I keep an emergency little bit of it in the Kenny G's greatest hits I'm going to have to change it now

so we don't steal it what is it i'll let y'all look at it so we don't steal your anti-seizure medication that you have to take can you identify that by just looking at it it's klonopin That's rude to say out loud before she even guessed. I said to her. I was trying to get her to guess. Is it Klonopin? I can neither testify yes or no that it is.

Confirm or deny. It is. I want some. Confirm nor deny, but I am confirming. Yeah, but I'm about to take it and I'm about to relax. Hell yeah. Maybe if you didn't drink five binks, five bing energies a day.

Maybe if you didn't drink five binks and I would be British, then you could be a better poor caster, Jacques. Is that what Hesse sounds like to you? Oi, my name's Hesse. If you would be a better poor caster, if you didn't always drink five binks,

I would not be a better, I'd be a worse one. And if you didn't always drink five pings. I would not be a better pot. I'd be a worse one. And I'm actually going to drink another one just because you said that. Yeah. Don't push me. I was reading about this form of autism that manifests particularly in... Chihuahuas. Defiance.

Oh. Mm-hmm. And I... I think, yeah. I don't want to say too much here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I think you get what I'm putting down. I think we've all got it.

I think both of you have a little bit of that. Oh, yeah. I have basic standard childhood ODD, like a little baby, but not that much autism. On this one's case here, we can say whatever we want about him while he's texting. Have you realized that? No, it's not that. I ordered $40 of Chinese food when I was in L.A. last and fell asleep on the weed pills, through the delivery and i and i looked i opened

the door and the food was gone and i was pissed and and that i just got a text message that the downstairs neighbor came upstairs and was like why has this to go chinese food been in front of our place for the last week it's almost been there for almost like a few days now disgusting all right um 16 people often tell me that i have an aristocratic demeanor and a commanding presence oh absolutely they always call me the aristocrat this has been my nickname for a year you have a kind of like african dictator Yeah. You have like an Idi Amin. Don't compare me. Don't compare me to Gaddafi.

You wish you were Gaddafi. I do not wish. I do not wish. The king. I do not wish I was someone who ran a child sex ring that funneled them into being a child soldier. Can you substantiate those claims? Yes, I can. I actually.

I wouldn't put it, actually, yes. No, I wouldn't put it past him, honestly. I wouldn't put it past Gaddafi. Actually, wait. It's because Jock has, Jock, can I tell Hessa your hang up on Gaddafi? It's really funny.

Jock got into an argument with one of his roommates about acceptable role models because Jock said his role model was Kanye West. I did not say that my role model was. His roommate was like, well, he's not very, he's not a said his role model was kanye west and i did not say that my role his roommate his roommate was like well he's not very he's not a really good role model jock was like why he's in he ain't a good role model but who do you look up to qaddafi and nikki minaj

and so jock has jock has been hung up on uh making qaddafi into a worse person than kanye west to get one over on his show if you don't have you seen a young qaddafi into a worse person than Kanye West to get one over on his show. Have you seen a young Gaddafi? Have you seen pictures of him young? He's so hot. If you don't believe me or you want a reference, please read the book. I mean, it might very well be true.

I don't know. Please read the book. The Third Universal Way. Can you shut your little whore trap? Woman, put a sock in it. I'm about to hit you straight to the moon. Gadolphe's Harem, the story

of a young woman and the abuses of power in Libya, a book by Anik Kojin that I would recommend to you. Have you read that book? Yes, because someone brought it up in the airport and I was like, let's go. Someone brought it up in an airport?

Yeah, in the Denver airport. I was interested. Like over the loudspeakers? No, this person next to me. Were you screaming at someone about Gandalfi? Well, I think that it's not Gandalfi. I would say thumbs down for this one. I don't think I'm very I project an aristocratic.

You have a little... Yeah? Give me a neutral then. Yeah, she's not a leader. She's a follower. Is that what you're saying about Hessebin? No, I don't think you were understanding of the exchange there.

I must have misheard. I thought I heard... Aristocratic demeanor and commanding presence. Jock, yeah, you're a, what are you saying for this? I'm going to say two thumbs up because when I was younger, people often compared me to Bill Clinton. Who's known for his charisma. Not biting on that one.

Question seven, we have to get through this. I mean, that's literally true. We're almost halfway done with the quiz. We are precisely halfway done, actually. Let's get further from done. I have a deep interest in the power of life and death.

Two thumbs up. Not really. Give me a thumbs down for that one. I was also kind of like, well, who cares? Yeah. I hate when y'all answer that one way. I was like, I have more interest in having fun while i'm alive you have more interesting and come up your butt fag exactly got him i mean kind of what i was i mean not exactly that but honestly yeah um i struggle

with feelings of isolation and loneliness oh my god i struggle give me a thumbs up about loneliness i'm so lonely and it leads to and here's my phone number by the way i'm on to your little game here what's my game you're a little ploy to try to fuck all of our listeners stop the break i'm so lonely if anyone could there are so many listeners that i Stop the breaks. Stop the breaks. There are so many of the listeners that I would not have sex with. So you need to stop right there. I could think of several listeners that I wouldn't have sex with.

Number one, my friend. I'm not saying you're trying to fuck all the listeners. No, you just did. I can rewind this. Okay. This straw man.

A little ploy to fuck some of the listeners. No, again. Again. I have never once said my goal is to fuck a listener. So you're wrong. You haven't said it. No, no. First of all.

I'm so lonely. Please call me. Please, if you are in the New Orleans metro area and you have huge tits and red hair, please call me. Let me swiftly and carefully take care of your mistake. These allegations.

Of these insane and rude and disturbing and... I think that's a pretty good game. Y'all boast some pussy cunt asshole bitch faggots. Yeah, if anyone wants to throw any pussy my way. Yeah, please. Oh, fuck.

God damn it. What'd you do? Nothing. It's just the gun people are coming. What does that mean? Wait, hold on. Gun people. The people he's going to the shooting range with are coming. Oh. The gun people are coming. The gun people are coming. No, no coming well let's just continue without him so we can get through this yeah we can decide his answers i often mask my true feelings and thoughts keeping them hidden

from the world he tries he doesn't really i'll do thumbs down for that one too i'll do yeah one thumbs down i'm the same way i often mask my true feelings oh never mind um my life experiences have taught me to be wary and distrustful of others especially those in authority um yes i think you can i think you shouldn't trust people in authority but i don't think in general i think you can trust most people i'll just say neutral i think i'm a one thumb up your butt i always mean no quit i just... Me no quit. I just being truthful. Me no quit smoking my weed. Me no quit.

Me never quit smoking my weed. Can that be the name of the episode? I think the episode should be called Jock Making Me Crazy. Jock and Jamaican put together. Jock making me crazy. Jock making me crazy. Brothers fight. All right making me crazy. Brothers fight. Next one. I often feel

dominated by intense, uncontrollable urges. Thumbs down for that one. Two thumbs down. I was down for that one. Jock on the other hand. I'm going to put one thumb up. Only one thumb up. I just saw the look on your

face. For the people the people with audience out there listening you couldn't see ben's little sassy face it was not helpful face what i was just like ben okay okay jock ben gave you ben thank you jock great job ben gave me the look of when you see a relative you haven't seen in months who looks really bigger and uglier and you can't say it out loud. I made a total projection because that's something that happened to you. I'm not Aunt Debbie. I'm Ben.

Me Ben. The idea of you having to identify yourself like an hour and a half. I feel like I need to sometimes. Me Ben., Tarzan. I wouldn't try to throw you off. I would say you, Jock.

Charm and charisma are tools I use to navigate social situations with ease. I'd say give me a thumb up for that one. Can you say it again, please? I was dancing because I just saw money moves. I just looked at... Someone just sent me... What are you saying? What is going on?

What? Sorry, I couldn't understand the question you asked because I was doing a dance, excited that someone had just sent me money. How much money did you make? Are you juicing our listeners for Venmo now? You're begging our listeners for money?

That's the thing I'm worried about. Y'all don't even subscribe to the Patreon. Just send me money directly. I'll send you the episode. I didn't see what you were holding up. Oh my god, y'all can't read that? You're holding it one cent.

$300? What did you make $300. From your camera. Oh, $300. Okay. What'd you make $300 for? My paintings, bitch. My hard work. Okay.

I stunt on you hoes. You could visual. Never. I cashed a check for $1,500 yesterday. God damn it. This bitch is always trying to one-up me with her soup. Lifestyle. Question 23.

I'm fascinated with the understanding of the inner workings of things, even if that means taking them apart. Nope. Two thumbs down. I don't want to know about anything. Yeah. Give me a thumbs up for that. Hessa loves to learn.

I am skilled at persuasion and often get what I want. That's a double thumbs up for me because I do always get what I want. I'm going to kill myself if you don't give me. That is not even true. Y'all are so – y'all better not fuck with me, bitches, or I'm going to end you. Okay. That's kind of exactly what – That doesn't prove anything, so stop it. How dare y'all say I'll leverage life and death to get what I want?

If you keep doing it, I'm going to fucking kill you and your whole family. It's so fucked up that y'all try to say lies about me committing suicide because I'm going to commit murder. Murder you too. I'm going to murder you. Murder, murder, murder.

I'm skilled at persuasion. I guess it's a form of persuasion. Yeah. You lose a lot of dignity in the process. I guess give me a thumbs up for that. I don't really usually try to persuade people of things.

It's going to become a true crime podcast when I murder young bastards for not answering the questions fast enough. Still thinking of killing us. Two minutes later. Silent this whole time. Just thinking of killing us. Question 25.

I often suppress my darker impulses under a veneer of normalcy. That's two thumbs up for me. Okay. Imagine what Jacques' dark impulses are hidden normalty

this is normal Hessa's face when I said I was normal was like Hessa what do you one thumb up was like the face of someone no give me a thumbs down I don't really have darker dark impulses

I'm sure I got something you know yeah I was just saying I'm like I don't really have darker dark impulses I'm sure I got something you know yeah I was just saying I'm like I don't really feel the need to I mean I would love to like you know shoot Nancy Pelosi or something parody but I wouldn't really call that like a dark impulse I'm pretty sure Hessa watches the new girl

but I wouldn't call it her darkest impulse I did used to like that show I feel that I've had The New Girl, but I wouldn't call it her darkest impulse. I did used to like that show. Got her. I feel that I've had to fight against the odds all my life. True, true, true. God has tried to kill you many times. Give me a thumbs down for that one. I was about to say something really dark.

Humble, humble and self-effacing answer From a respectable person Good job Hessa Thank you Man fuck you bitch You ain't nothing but a jack Every day of my life I have to fight Everyone is working against me every day My whole family tried to kill me

Everyone in my life is in a group chat Without me when they talk about ways to ruin my day Y'all don't even know the shittiest things that have happened to me. And you couldn't even imagine, let alone fad me, or even, you couldn't live through this shit, you idiot. I mean, I won't say you're wrong. I don't know if I could live in your life. No, I would kill myself. Just not because your life is bad. Your life is amazing. Weed would I would kill myself. Just not because your life is bad.

Your life is amazing. Weed would make me kill myself. Yeah. I would go into a I would be in a fugue state. I'm going to take like six of those weed pills and go to the roller skate rave tonight. This is the autistic defiance. I think you should do more weed. I don't think you're doing enough weed.

Yeah, I agree. I agree. I should probably take more than that then. See, your reverse psychology me, no, it doesn't work on my super intelligent, super brilliant villain brain. You can't influence me. Time to take 35 weed pills. I put the weed pills in a prescription bottle that the weed pills

match the same color and description what even are weed pills what are you talking about weed needs to be criminalized schedule one at this point this is crazy let me show you

27 I've always felt disconnected from the norms and expectations of society that's a yes for you what is going on with your finger 27. I've always felt disconnected from the norms and expectations of society. That's a yes for you, Jack. What is going on with your finger? Is that a vein? What the fuck? That's the weed pill. It looks like a normal pill.

For the viewers at home, for the listeners at home, Jack held his pill up to the camera and when his finger came right up to the camera it was completely blue. Like spots of green. I'll wait to take a fifth. Sixth one.

That is so bad. I've become so numb. I can't feel. If you're texting Jacques, please urge him to lay off a little bit of the weed. Nope. No 28. I go to extreme lengths to maintain my appearance and youthfulness.

Yes. That's a double yes. I'll do a thumbs up for that. I do. Ben's face. What? You don't believe that? Because you don't believe.

What are the extreme lengths? You don't believe that I have the ability to look young and beautiful? Is that what you're saying? Because that's what I think. I think you're a very handsome man. Yes, I do. But I'm just wondering what the extreme lengths you go to to maintain the youthfulness. What are you doing on a daily basis?

What is your skincare routine? I don't have one. Okay. My skin is damaged. So what are the extreme lengths you go to? I have one. Okay. Okay, so... My skin is damaged. Two thumbs up. So what are the extreme lakes you go to? I'm on this fucking show every day that y'all tell me to come. You have no clue. You cannot...

Look, by the way, this is what the container for the weed pills came in. It looks very normal. I don't Screenshot it Okay Are you trying to flex that it's 1000 milligrams Per 10 He's trying to make us

Say it's okay Why won't you say it's not okay Because it comes in a container That has a logo Yeah I go to extreme Okay whatever I's not okay. That has a logo. Yeah. I go to extreme... Okay, whatever. I'm not even going to contest that.

Has a year what? Two thumbs up? Yeah. Give me two thumbs up for that one. Do you do a lot of skincare? Yeah. I actually have a mask. I just remembered I have a mask. I'll do skincare. I'm on Tret and everything, but then I'm like, oh, I'm also like maybe a few times a month i drink for 10 hours yeah an entire pack of cigarettes and i'm like it's just totally

me last night honestly it's like the only thing that really works is like genetics and um diet exercise skincare is totally supplemental unfortunately the wax and dabs preserves your skin and makes you look more beautiful and I actually have a close you know weed actually no don't even say it

I'll just say weed face why are you talking like that Chuck cause I got two pills underneath my tongue melting that's why. Oh, you gotta melt them? Well, no, it just hits you faster. But anyway, look. Yeah, he kind of had like a transatlantic accent for a second. It was very strange.

Now I forgot what I was gonna say. That's okay. Question 30. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. What? We're almost there. We're almost there. Question 30. There's a van of gun people outside waiting for me an actual van it's a very scary van okay people say my personality can switch from warm to caring to cold and intense very quickly i mean two thumbs down yeah two thumbs down no you're being

so obstinate you're being so so obstinate i you two thoughts. And you know what you're doing. I saw that little smirk. You know what you're doing. You're being a very ornery little boy right now. You're being naughty. You're being naughty. I'm going to take a giant dab before I shoot a gun right now in like 20 minutes. So naughty.

Let's hope I don't blow anyone away. The report that is about to come out yeah the shooting podcaster goes nuts goes berserker weed pills removed from all shelves kill everyone else local podcaster goes nuts the headline okay let's hurry it up, though. I'm not joking. There's some people in a van parked outside my house that want to go shoot with me, or they are going to kill me.

Either way, I got my fate sealed, and I'm ready for the last question, Dr. Professor. Hmm. You can give me a two thumbs down for that one. What? My moods and feelings can be dark and are often hidden from others. I'm going to put two thumbs down

because my darker moods aren't hidden. I'm very changeable. You tell everyone when you're in a bad mood. I just put canceled. What did I put on my page? I don't remember. Closed. Huh?

I post a picture. I hate when you do that has so you've you're not really on instagram jock semi-regularly well something something will happen some unnamed crisis will happen maybe once a week and jock will post a giant closed like closed for business a giant close sign, and the caption's like, no one talk to me. And then he'll keep posting them. Remember a few questions ago when one of the questions was

I maintain a very careful front of a personality. That is a carefully maintained personality. It's not careful. It's barely maintained. This bitch, I swear to God, I'm a... It's like the house from Grey Gardens, how maintained it is. Oh, you fucking...

You know it's level. My moods and feelings can be dark and often hidden from others. Chuck, you're... Sorry, two thumbs down? Yes, yes. Like I said. Like a slick angel. Hessa, you're... One thumb down?

Yeah, give me two thumbs down for that one. Give me three thumbs down. I am drawn to both the limelight and the shadows. Oh, yes. That's a two thumbs up. That's a very vague, weird question. That is the coolest question I've heard in my life. Give me two thumbs up for that one.

I want that to be my... I was... That was two thumbs up for that. I want to write that one. I want that to be my... I was... That was two thumbs up for that. I want to write that down. I want that to be my Tinder bio. I'm drawn to the limelight and the shadows. It's such a stupid... I mean, spent a lot of time around men

who are semi-successful stand-up comics. They're always talking about the predicament of being a performer. To be drawn to the limelight and the shadows. Yeah. It's like the Jokerament of being a performer and like to be drawn to that kind of conversation yeah yeah it's like the jokers the jokers paradox shit like that i'm like you're a fucking comedian and then you see their set and they're like i don't you hate when your wife asks you to eat her ass yeah yeah yeah okay i've often felt misunderstood and mistreated by society oh my god

a yes oh my god a a that's so a plus one thousand percent that's exactly what i've had happen all right hessa what do you say um i mean my insurance is being my health insurance is being really annoying so in that way give me a thumbs up for that. I literally had the same thought where I was just like, yeah, I don't know how to operate any institutions in this country. Yeah. I live in a very hostile country. Can we call this episode Me Too?

Never mind. Nope. Question 34. My public and private selves are dramatically different. No. Two thumbs down because I'm pretty much the same person all the time. Wouldn't you agree, Ben? Tell me the truth.

People have never seen you, you know, when we're just chilling out at the house, when you put your monocle on, Mr. Monopoly. Yes, you start talking very fancy. You start spinning a cane around and porto with a thousand dollar decanter people haven't seen that side of you which is your white gloves on your white gloves on yeah um yeah i think i'll do thumbs up or they're the same my public and private i think it's pretty much um i was i was thumbs i'm i will say this i'm a much nicer person in public i'm very respectful very nice in public did you see that one um the tweet where someone

said that i told them to kill themselves so it was like ben mora crawled out from behind the bar i don't know why and then you were like oh god, I remember I was crawling around on the floor. I was crawling on the floor because I lost my friend's drugs and I felt really bad, so I was crawling on the floor. Wait, you were actually crawling on the floor? I would have loved to see you like that. And Ben stood up and this person said, are you

Ben Mora? He responded, kill yourself. Allegedly said kill yourself. You were upset that night, though. No, I was not. It was my literal first time doing GHB, and he's crawling on the floor. I was on lolly and cocaine. That's what they all say when they fall on GHB.

It wasn't GHB. But look, I mean, imagine you're crawling around on the floor. I've done it a hundred times. And she calls your name out. It's floor. I've done it a hundred times. Your name out. It's not. Yeah, it's not a good feeling. One time of one time, a van of of high schoolers that made me smoke legal weed after being sober for seven months dumped me into the back gravel parking lot of Cafe Cottage. And I I rolled in the in the in the sunlight back and forth in the gravel until someone walked up to me.

Like a rolling bully, like a bug. Yeah, until someone walked up to me and said, Jacques, is that you? And thank God, because then I got to go see the microphone. Why were you? Okay, let's move on past that one. Yeah, because y'all are taking too much time with these questions. Can you answer it quickly? I've got a gun ban.

I've got a gun ban. I've got a gun van after telling the longest, most tangential story. I just think if I... I'm ready, Dr. Professor. Okay. 35, last question. My approach to leadership is often viewed as ruthless and

uncompromising. I would say, Jock, your approach to being led is ruthless and uncompromising. I would put two thumbsock, your approach to being led is ruthless and uncompromising. I would put two thumbs down because I'm easy to lead. Where you lead, I will follow. I'm going to put two thumbs down.

I love Jock's commitment to giving the exact opposite correct answer the whole time. Yes. I'm committing to the truth. opposite correct answer the whole time. Yes. Alright. It's not. I'm committing to the truth. So, this was the

serial killer test. I took this and I got Ted Bundy. I got Ted Bundy. I am a serial killer kind of spot on oh my god hessa what did i got so i got okay my my i was ted bundy at 65 i was aileen warnos at 50 and i was john wayne gacy gacy at 45 who was i h? Hessa, you are 95% Harold Shipman.

Who the hell? That's not even a real name. Wait, who am I? Who am I? He's a serial killer. He's a famous serial killer. Hessa, your number one is Harold Shipman. She's 5% Harvey Weinstein.

Tied with Elizabeth Lavorie? Bathory? Bathory. Bathory. I don't know those people. He's the doctor that killed everyone in England, right? Yes. What about me? I will get to you, please. And then you're being ornery.

And then your third is Andrere chickatillo chickatillo chickalito she's a juggalito okay he he was a mass murderer though right he wasn't really a he got like a hundred over a hundred i think nice but he was a he He was just roaming the woods. This was in 1970. I see. This picture they used for him, he looks so cute. He looks so pleasant.

Smiling. Kind of your vibe. My mom once told me... My vibe. Oh no. He looks so creepy in all of these pictures he looks horrible this is my vibe

this creepy man oh my god my mom once told me that she watched a Ted Bundy movie or something and she was like I never realized how much you look like him and I do kind of look like him who am I do kind of look like him. Who am I, though?

Yeah, let's hear it, Shox. Do you see it? Wait, I got Ted Bundy? Yeah, I totally see it. No, that's... Kind of scary. No, you did not get... I'm coming for you now, Jock.

Don't come on me, please. Richard Ramirez. That's my guess. I'm for Shox. No, well, he's just a famous killer. Wait, can I give a guess who... No, he's a serial killer. What serial killer I got?

Yeah. Yeah. Oh. Yeah, what are you... Richard Ramirez is not on here. He was not one of the options. Oh, shit. I got, if I had to take a guess, Ed Gein.

95% Aileen Wuornos. Yes! Yes! Oh, my God. Queen. Oh, monster. Also, let's keep in mind that you answered the exact opposite no i i literally think in that way she would have done the same don't argue don't argue don't argue i

answered exactly i i answered okay i'm not arguing i was just making a joke but i do think she would have done the same exact thing yeah you're aileen warnos and uh you're gonna maybe throw a little bitch fit about this one but right after jeffrey dahmer what's wrong with that i don't know 90 jeffrey dahmer or sorry 85 jeffrey daughter dahmer and then you are at 55 john wayne gacy god damn it why did i get all the freaks whatever you know what well they all all of them i think my answers are probably the worst. I think, well, Ben's are pretty bad. I think they're all pretty bad. I'm going to go out on a limb and say none of these are good answers.

None of these are good answers. But I do think they got our vibes right. Jock is very much Aileen. I'm pretty much Ted. I don't know. Harold, I don't know. I don't know Harold Shindon. He just seems like a boring guy.

All Harold's are boring or racist. I mean, he did something to be honest. I'm on this list. I gotta take a pisser. That's true. Fucking seven. All right,

guys. Well, thank you for listening to this episode. If you liked what you heard, I'll just, maybe I'll insert a plug at the beginning, If you liked what you heard, we've covered anything. Maybe I'll insert a plug at the beginning. Patreon.com slash Seeking Derangements. We have video content.

Always at least one podcast per week, but sometimes two. We've got an upcoming Mardi Gras movie. Still needs to be edited. Well, it's coming out. And then we also have a It still needs to be edited. Well, it's coming out. It might be out. And then we also have a mukbang to be released.

There's a mukbang coming out for sure. And then also, my Instagram is sensitive underscore J-O-C-K. All right, bye everyone. Bye. Thank you. What will be the result? I don't know if today we will be embraced. The andro plus again goes to the side. I would like to be where we meet. I don't know. It's the same thing I've thought Tonight We'll be together

So much more I love you I love you I love you To realize Your love I'm going to find your love. It's late and the time is coming. Bye. Thank you. Bye.