Seeking Derangements - SD 297 - BPD (Best Person Disorder)

Episode Date: March 13, 2024

Hello seekers! Today we're all back and taking your calls. We hear from people with BPD, people who have girlfriends with BPD, help a guy who wants to have sex with another guy in front of his girlfriend, and decide if it's healthy to be turned on by your own reflection. Leave a voicemail for us at (332) 203 - 8247 and find tickets to SHOW PIG here: https://www.lodgeroomhlp.com/shows/show-pig-a-live-comedy-podcast-spectacular-with-seeking-derangements/

I'd like to do a song from our new album now, which is a song from Stevie Nicks called Rhiannon. Rhiannon. This is a song about a Welsh witch. Rhiannon rings like a bell through the night On a witch who you love to love her? She rules her life like a bird of light, who would be her lover? While you're alive you've never known a woman, and drank you by the wind.

Would you say that you promised to your heaven Will you ever win? Hello everyone, welcome to Seeking Derangements This is a free episode Today, me, Jock, and Hessa are going to be answering some of your calls If you want to leave a voicemail for us You can find that phone number in the episode description And get a bonus episode every week on our patreon patreon.com slash seeking i love that derangements

that's patreon.com slash seeking derangement thanks so much you would like to subscribe to us y'all it would really be helpful because that's amazing we need you to keep listening and if you don't stop listening we're really going to be really sad we're going to be pissed actually and kill you so, parody, but well I am watching, yeah

oh my god don't really care anymore I don't really believe you, to be honest I'll be totally honest I'll be totally completely honest about this one I'm not really believe you. I'm going to be honest. I'll be totally honest. I'll be totally, completely honest about this one. I'm not really believing it, Hessa. And even if you do... Actually, I have COVID.

And the doctor told me it's worse than yours. You're lying. I don't know. No, they literally... I went into the doctor right after you, and they were like, Yeah, do you see her? She's lying. And I was like, I know. They were like, look at her.

I don't even know what the doctor's office is called. Aperture. The trans one. Aperture or call in Lord. One of those. I know you're going to one of those. You're going to call in Lord or Aperture. The trans doctors. You're not going to get that over on me, Missy. I know where you people go. I was thinking the trans one.

When you were literally, when you were about, right before you said Aperture, I was like, the trans one when you were literally when you were about right before you said aperture i was like the trans one yeah aperture or calling lord but i guess they're for gay guys too so did you go with all your best trainees can straight people go to aperture or calling lord there's a bunch of normal guys there every time they're not call your best they're not they're not normal there's just an old chinese guy in there like waiting in there he might be normal i think any any like cis straight appearing guy going to aperture probably just got sucked off by a guy and is scared he has hiv and that's why he went there i feel like that's the vibe yeah yeah they're totally they're totally overrun by straight

guys who think hiv is transmitted once most likely through head getting sucked off once way gay guy when do when when you're at the doctor office for the transgender people has a do you say hey my fellow trannies to like other trans people is it kind of like the same way where gay people say fag to each other yeah it's exactly like that I'm so glad you asked yeah she is not faking this COVID

okay sorry I just need to I need the listeners to counter argument right here she's laying down she's in her robe and so you can say guys i can't record guys i don't i'm can you can you handle this recording i never even asked to not record i never even asked not to record i never even asked i'm getting i'm getting attacked i'm being unfairly maligned. I believe that you have

I believe that you believe you have COVID. I got a test. I got a test at Aperture when I went in for my blood work. Look, look, Ben. I'm going to need to see those results. She's really being honest. She texted me this morning. Let me read it to y'all. She said, hey Jacques,

I have COVID. Jacques is so bad at it. Okay, go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. Read the text. I've got COVID. Frown face.

But the good thing is, is that I'm still funny. LOL. Well, I'll see you two in recording. Mid-length hair bitch out. Nope. See, you lost it. I did actually send that. I'm running. She ends a lot of her text messages nope so you lost it i did actually send that i'm you absolutely you absolutely lost it you have such a singular way of speaking that whenever you try to imitate someone you just end up sounding more like yourself somehow

i don't know what's the problem because there's no problem i always do i always do imitation of her and she doesn't sound like this but i'm'm always like, oh, hey, it's me. Blank. I was like, oh, DJ, gonna burn this goddamn house. Yeah, this bitch. It does have COVID. Look at her. Look at her weak little brain trying to tumble through this course of obstacles.

You were talking about that earlier. It's crazy. COVID does. It does make you stupid though i feel like i feel like once i saw i keep hearing it's like the third or fourth time you have covid like the neurological impacts of it like compound and then you're like dumb for the rest of your life or something that's why i don't get tested i don't get tested anymore it's true they told me at aperture today i did i literally went in after you hey hey hey i went in i literally was there after you at

the one in the west village look stop playing not in the west village hassa stop playing victim stop playing the victim stop playing the fucking victim. And stop being selfish. I'm sick of this. Our friend Ben deserves trans health care, too. Not just you. Exactly. Not just the trans.

Let me tell you all something right now. And this is really important that everyone who's listening to this podcast hears this. Well, they're listening. There's trans out there listening for sure mid length hair god with a mid-length hair thing what do you stop stop wait wait stop stop it's not even funny it's not funny no stop don't tell me what's funny because because i've read comments before but anyway well we all we unfortunately you have very unfortunate for all of us here. Can we talk about the comment debacle? It's really funny.

Yeah, yes. Let me start off with what I was trying to say. Ben is probably standing in the front of the Appalachia Health Office for transgender women being like, excuse me, but this mid-length hair woman needs help immediately she is stupid from covid again that's exactly the way you only you sound and only something you would do but i do want to say i do want to say i do want to say the appalachia trans health center is would be a crazy place yeah that would be really fucking nuts has it did you know there's

a place in colorado i forget what it's called it's like this trinidad small little town yeah trinidad colorado where like they have it's like a crazy like mecca for trans people mecca for trans for trans women in particular because like there was a doc. Really? There was a doctor there who was pioneering trans-affirmative healthcare or whatever we call it nowadays. Whatever

bullshit phrase we use for it. It's crazy because it's in the mountains in Colorado. In the middle of nowhere and it's all these dolls I've been oh I've been is it all trans

I said what the hell is going on over here like this is my waking nightmare something's not something's kind of fishy out here well I want to i want to confess about something i've undergone a transgender surgery that i've never talked about till this moment right now okay so i see everyone's lying about being sick today go ahead stop well okay

first of all first of all i am not i am sick, but Ben, you're the last one to argue that I am not sick in the head. No, you're totally fucked up in the head. Well, then don't tell me I'm not sick. Wait, John, can I tell the listeners about our fight last week, please? If you promise not to get emotional, can we leave the emotions at the door? Can we have an HR conversation? Can I at least say one thing before we start?

Absolutely. Yes. I had transgender surgery so that I could become a human from a pig. I used to be a pig. Big pink. And you had transgender surgery. Pig.

P-T-P-T-H. Trans-human. Trans-pig-human feminization story. Pig to female. Pig to female. P-T-F. You did P? Pig to female. P-T-F.

You did P-T-N. I got P-T-F. Pig to female, baby. I went straight from pig straight to woman. So guys, before we get to the call, before we get to the calls, there are a lot of things that happen behind the scenes that honestly that we don't talk about that I

personally always want to talk about because they're often because they're the last person that wants to talk. If I could just talk. Oftentimes, some of the funniest things that happen on this show are things that we can't really talk about because certain emotions are a little too raw. Some people are too high, etc. broad some people are too high etc um but this past week there was one that i think we can unearth without any any big meltdowns um so there was a comment there was a comment that was left on the page and i didn't i'm just bringing this up out of the blue i was really not expecting to talk about this one today but it's pretty funny so someone left a comment on our patreon um okay first of all i just want to say that if someone says anything mean to me

on the patreon and i and they're allowed to they're they pay they're paying customers yeah but so so what i'm not allowed to to say something no i think no be allowed to fight back no you're not you're not allowed you're not allowed to fight back. You're not allowed to threaten our listeners. You're not allowed to threaten our listeners. I hate the listeners. Jock, when you work... Yeah, until they're not and then we get fucking

sued. So, Jock... No, no, no. Now you shut up. Now you shut up. No, no, no. No, no, no. No, no shut up. No, no. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. When I tell someone to watch their back, that's an expression of care and consideration for them to... No, it's not. For me to... Be careful.

Be careful of the offending danger. Because it's implied I'm going to kill you. No! Did I say that at all? Also, also also i just i i do want to underscore here jock that you completely misread this comment as an insult and it was an evident joke and this person was in fact trying to support you and you told them that they better fix their fucking attitude if they want to comment on this show and that they better watch their fucking back

okay and so I was just like jock can we please helpful advice can we please shut the hell up and it's like jock can we please can we please not look it's a very simple ask

let's just not make anything that could be construed as a threat to the listeners. Can you come forward if I've ever threatened you? Me? Many times. You have threatened me many, many, many times. Why would I be talking to you? Do you think I'm talking to the listener?

Shut up. Just go. Just keep talking. I have been threatened. I will join that keep talking. I'm about to have a fight. Listener is creating a class action. I have been threatened. I will join that class action. I have been threatened by Draconsulin many times in my life for tiny things. Hessa, back me up here. I have never once threatened you or him.

I don't know if I can back you up there. Yeah. Okay, Hessa. What happened to our deep friendship that me and Hessa spoke? He's about to threaten you now, Hessa. He's about to threaten you. There's a threat coming. No, no, no.

Oh, watch, watch. Here's the opposite of a threat. If you don't back me up when I say I have never threatened anyone, I'm going to fucking kill you, Hessa. Here's the opposite of a threat. Here's a compliment. Hessa, I love you, and it was so wonderful to talk to you into the midnight hours.

Me and Hessa, don't, it was so wonderful to talk to you into the midnight hours me and Hessa we don't get to talk as often as we would like to because we're estranged sisters and differently we're star crossed we're on different sides of the country I mean like y'all I'm gonna say a fact

that is really that is crazy it's just a crazy fact and hassa i think about this all the time and i know that we know each other very deeply and we're besties and stuff but like we've me and hassa have only spent a total of three hours together irl ever and it was only twice it's crazy to think about and and we we shared it we we were so fucked up and we shared at uber back after the last live show and it was just like whoa i just unlocked a blackout okay ben i'll let you continue with this i mean that's really it that's really it i'm just saying i just and it's just saying

you know i i deserve to to threaten anyone who i please. Nope, you don't. You actually don't. That's actually something you're not allowed to do at your job. When you worked at Company Burger, let's say... Okay, let me run a hypothetical past you, Jock. When you were working the counter at Company Burger, and let's say a person came in and literally gave you a compliment, and you said to them,

you better fix your fucking attitude if you're going to come in here, and in the meantime, watch your fucking back, what do you think would have happened? I think it would be fine. It probably would have been fine. It probably would have been totally fine. It probably would have been fine. It probably would have been completely fine.

And I want to point out something. Yeah, never mind. That was a bad hypothetical. I've already kind of done something like that, and they actually backed me up and said I was justified to act like that. Okay. By my coworkers. But then also, one time my boss came up behind me

with one of those little electric tennis rackets that you use to kill bugs, and I was making a milkshake and he got me in the elbow alright so let's say this if you're allowed to threaten the customers I'm allowed to literally shock you well no I threatened I turned

everyone in the restaurant turned cause I screamed I said what the fuck god damn and I was making a milkshake I spilled the milkshake chocolate milkshake all over the wall over the floor I was like what the fuck god damn it I was making a milkshake I spilled the milkshake chocolate milkshake all over the wall over the floor I was like what the fuck I pointed the manager like the kitchen manager I was like if you ever

fucking touch me again I swear to god I will fucking kill you in front of your ugly family you ugly motherfucker he shocked you so it's okay you know he was he was fucking annoying but I mean let's get to some call it's okay. He was fucking annoying. But, I mean, that's whatever. Let's get to some call.

Let's get into some shock with their... Okay, I'm going to actually... I now believe you're not lying about being sick because you're clearly in some kind of addled state where you're not making any sense. Why is she in an addled state where you're not making any sense. Why is she in the addled state? You're barely clear today. Actually,

it's insane that I took... You might have more wrong with you than just COVID. It seems like Hessa transferred all the... I think you should go back to that trans doctor and say, what the hell did you miss today? I'm acting like a huge bitch. No, it's like a Freaky Friday swap.

It's like a Freaky Friday swap. I took all of Hessa's coherency out of her, and now I'm the coherent one. I'm being smart you dumb you cough idiot bitch mid length hair whore alright I'm sorry I didn't mean to call you a whore

let's get to some calls we've got quite a few to go through guys if you want to leave us a voicemail with a request for advice or um you know relationships you want to if you want to leave us a a threatening voicemail that number is 332-203-8247 and let me get these up here um guys you feel ready to you feel like we're we're clearly firing on all cylinders ready to give our listeners voicemail this is one of the sharpest we've ever been i'm sharper than both of you dinglings i'm a knife and y'all are a fucking

piece of silly buddy all right right. Let's get this. Let's hear this first one. Oh, my God. Hi, everyone. My roommate and I got into it about whether it's weird to be attracted to yourself. He's a gay man, and I'm straight. He said that he got turned on looking at himself in the mirror while lifting at the gym.

I asked if he was dissociating. Like, was he viewing it no he was another hot dude or was he attracted to specifically himself and he said no in fact it was specifically a turn on because it was him and he expressed his interest in finding his own doppelganger on multiple occasions so my question is is this a normal gay experience or is my roommate just a bit strange? Love you all. Thank you. Love you. It's a normal gay experience, sadly.

You think it's a totally normal gay experience? Well, in the trans community, we call that AGP. AGP, what's that stand for? Wait, Jock. No, no, no. Jock, guess what AGP stands for. Apple, grape, potato. Use some context

clues instead of guessing food. Use some context clues. No, you got it on first guess. I wish I knew a trans girl named... What's his name again with the p because i can think april grace and then uh penelope if we knew it surely there's at least one surely there's at least one um what is the age as the age something autogynephile is what it stands for. Oh my god, that literally is something that one girl has as her name.

I never knew what that meant. Autogynephile, yeah, it's April's Twitter name. I think it's normal to be attracted to yourself unless you're trans and then it's really bad. I thought that was just some weird European name. I thought she was just like some kind of weird German or Dutch or something. It's a play on words. I don't like I don't like being played. So to answer this person, I mean, you should be concerned.

You should be worried about your roommate trying to fuck himself. I think I think if I think if this guy just because something's normal it's okay okay that's an interesting take ben what were you saying i was gonna say if this guy has a brother or something that brother should be scared um oh no if he has any friends who look like him i would back away i don't know i mean do you get turned on looking at yourself in the mirror he does he took him too long to answer yes it does too long to answer it's okay you don't have to be embarrassed about your freak lifestyle where you masturbate to yourself in the mirror it's good that's a good way to be confident listeners if you're if you're out there masturbating try taking a try and taking a look in the mirror and see if you enjoy it more. And yeah, it could be really,

really bad. It could be also, also, I think that to the viewer out there, my best advice is that you and your roommate go to therapy, um, separately, of course,

but in general, because if you're living with a guy like that, then you probably have some issues I think it's fine I really don't think it's that big of a deal I think it's totally fine I do think it's a little weird to admit it to your straight roommate but then maybe you guys are

close enough and you're just kind of broing out and you know he's just sharing some you know some experience he had at the gym I think it's it's pretty normal for gay guys to admire themselves too much to kind of you know check out their angles a lot in the mirror kind of patrick bateman style like just stare at themselves um once it gets to like i explicitly someone is explicitly saying they want to fuck themselves or fuck their doppelganger um

personally i think it's a little weird i don't think it's a problem and it is a it is your doppelganger ben i was gonna say it's not it's definitely not how all gay guys feel because i would absolutely be terrified of my doppelganger well they say famously they say if you ever meet your doppelganger there's only two productive things you can do. Either fight it or fuck it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would absolutely end up getting in some insane bitch fight with my doppelganger for sure.

And I'm saying this, I have seen gay guys who look... Actually, I would love to fight myself. Oh, my God. Jacques versus Jacques. Sorry, just the idea first of having such a dirty man whatever what's just whatever that's like a that's a crit yeah see it's already a dirty match having sex with myself uh fighting myself is like the is like tyson versus tyson and we bite both of each other's ears off yeah also a little little question for the list to have sex

with your doppelganger or your oppenheimer let's know for the list have sex with your doppelganger or your oppenheimer let's know yeah when you have sex with your doppelganger or your oppenheimer um that's a good question i think that uh an oppenheimer sound off in the oppenheimer is defined as someone who looks the exact opposite of you oh that's that's how you define it that's pretty that's pretty smart jack that's pretty that's actually pretty good yeah but oppenheimer is the opposite of a doppelganger he's your yeah and that's where the word op comes from and i i'm so happy that i can i see i'm so you kind of cracked the code there i thought i thought you were going nowhere with that but

i'm gonna be honest with you you kind of told y'all i told y'all motherfuckers i i came in concentrated i'm like cold brew today y'all i'm thick and i'm dark there are there are times there are times where i even see a gay guy who kind of looks like me and i'm just like no i don't like this i don't like i love when i see gay guys that look like Ben because I screenshot them on Grindr and I'm like, y'all, look at this imitation Ben. I wish I could find... I wish I could... Ben, do you remember when I...

Me and Ben are part of a group chat of a bunch of our old Denver friends. We call it the Old Testament. And I feel like a long time ago, Ben, do you remember me sending a picture into the Grindr... Or a picture from Grindr onto the group chat

of a doppelganger and i'm like yeah it was a guy it was a it was a it was a woman who looked like steven and steven no no it was it was a man that looked like you that that he i don't remember i think back to the listener here i think it's totally fine for your friend to do this it's a little weird he would tell you but again like it's one of those things that gay guys do that is just it sounds like he wants to have sex with you you just gotta deal I think he's telling

telling his roommate that he wants to have sex with himself because he wants yeah do you look like him do you look like him like how we're at how ass is talking to the voicemail as if it's gonna answer yeah so does does he look like you hello you just gotta deal with it I mean gay guys are constantly dating guys who look like them constantly dating guys who look like you know they could be their brothers whatever

it's whatever I dated this guy I guess if you do kind of look like, you know, they could be their brothers, whatever. It's whatever. I've dated this guy. I guess if you do kind of look like him, then that could be a tacit kind of confession that he wants to fuck you. But I don't know. Let's get to the next call. I remember that guy, Jacques. The guy that looked like you. You dated a guy that looked exactly like you. Well, guess what, y'all?

Guess what, y'all? It was really disturbing. We both were just kind of fat and both had rough facial hair no no no no no you looked exactly alike very similar you did look very you both had bovine eyes the same facial pattern he looks he looks so both had those you both had those big cow eyes what what he what what i don't care what we say about him i don't care if y'all say that that looked like him i'm not saying anything bad about him i'm just saying you guys literally looked exactly right now and it's that he has gotten

he's gone he's gone it's a free episode whatever it's gonna be fine he got so busted he got so busted and he killed him just did he he broke up with me over text message while i was in the hospital getting oxygen and then he stole his xbox let's get to the next he also broke he also got a new girlfriend his co-worker in the time hospital and started dating her and now he's moved on to looking more busted and he has a we i saw a screenshot and i said well i know who won and it was me period it would be weird if you it'd be so weird if you dated someone who looked exactly like you and then after years they get uglier and uglier because then you're like oh i'm like the best version of this body yeah you know it would be kind of gratifying i'm on the edge of glory suck to be him it would be amazing yeah let's get to the next call okay hi i'm a um you know non-binary bpd

dab addict uh so of course huge fan jock gonsolin um i was just wondering you know a lot of podcasts i listen to they have like an annoying name for their listeners um and what yours guys would be second i noticed kara cunninghamham of We Certainly Alone fame comments on a lot of Drac's posts. Get her on the pod, for the love of God. Oh, my God, I love her. Okay. So I'm going to tell you about that.

Yeah, keep an eye out because I just mailed Cara a microphone so that she could record with us soon. And Cara is a good friend now, and also she's one of the sweetest people on earth. And I also want to say I support you, listener, for being a big pussy dick dab addict, or whatever BPD stands for. Mm-hmm.

And I really appreciate it. i mean my big big person big personality disorder um i would like i would like a brilliant personality brilliant person you're out there listening to this brilliant best person best person disorder best person that's it everyone's just fucking jealous of you and they're jealous of me for being the

best people having best people disorder about bouncy penis dinky dab addict I just want to say I support you big personality shout out to your family personality disorder so the name

for our listeners are seekers I'm coining that term I'm calling them seekers you're just mad because I coined it bitch get over it what about derangers derangers is good deranged I like the deranged a lot I coined it, bitch. Get over it. What about Derangers? Derangers is good.

Deranged. The Deranged. I like the Deranged a lot. Like the Power Rangers. I think Seekers is good. Well, Josh, what do you have to say? Because Seekers just sounds like Chasers. Why would we go one lower? Well, I feel like that makes it work even more.

Yeah. No, it's cool that it's like Chasers. Yeah, it's cool that it's like chasers yeah it's cool that it's like because then we're okay also i want to say how many how many people who listen to this podcast you think are trans and how many think are chasers is it like 50 50 i'm gonna say about i don't think there's that many chasers i'm gonna say a lot of straight guys calling in on the well but maybe you get more calls from straight it's uh confirmation bias because we get more calls from straight guys because they have more questions that more of our audience i honestly has my curiosity this is my this is my this is my breakdown on the listenership i'm gonna say it's about 30% trans women. It's about 15% trans men. There's about 10% non-binary. The other-

That's like 45%. I'm so bad at math. Then the other big part is gay and straight. It's like 20 gay, 20 straight. A hundred. The other numbers I said. I'm going gonna think that guess i'm gonna say that we 100 of our listeners are mentally ill

and 110 we have 110 listeners actually also are those numbers up because we're yeah our listeners are 100% beautiful perfect and special alright let's stop pandering I'm kidding we love you guys stop alright bitch let's not do the long one

guys I'm telling you right now keep it to keep it to shut up let me, keep it to... I've always wanted to do the long one. Keep it to shot up. Let me talk. Keep it to under a minute, please. Or a minute, a minute 15, a minute 30. If it's really crazy, text it, maybe,

but two minutes is nuts, y'all. I understand, sir. Alright, ready? Yeah, let's go. Hi, days and days. madison from seattle calling in she her pronoun uh you've asked for that i have just recently this question for jock um i just recently started dating a wonderful beautiful bpd girly um and uh she has said that i am quote the most mentally healthy person that she's ever dated which is a play for me um i'm just wondering in earnest if you have any tips for someone who is dating someone with bpd like what would you

recommend what are some helpful things for someone with bpd like what would you recommend what are some helpful things for someone with bpd how do i be a supportive girlfriend in this video thanks so much thank you so much i want to i want to comment before i even begin to answer this question the translation for what this uh girl was saying on the voicemail. It says, hiking days instead of high gays, which is... And it also... High gays and days.

There's a... There's transcriptions. It got me laughing, but thank you for... Thanks for thinking of me. Clearly, I am the borderline personality disorder spokesperson. Thanks for thinking of me. what's so funny about that whatever thinks about me it's the most bb way to respond no whatever thinks about me i needed someone i'm sorry that i'm flattered that someone would it's cute it's cute i like i think it's really okay i'm not even making a joke

but y'all can laugh but but but yeah naturally borderline personality disorder people uh are have a a predilection naturally they're they're predisposed predilection yeah predilection they're not they're naturally predisposed to feeling like they're going to be abandoned or or uh left behind there's a fear of abandonment that is associated with people with borderline and i think that if you could be conscious that borderline people are afraid of being abandoned or left behind and you can just incorporate that into your actions just maybe just like if you are going to go do something with a group of friends, think maybe, hey, maybe I should invite that girl

because I'm dating her, but also because I don't want to let her feel abandoned. Is that too serious of an answer? Yeah, I think that's genuine but also i would say as someone who's dated um multiple men with bpd and have a lot of people with bpd in my life i would say don't but i would i would say run away no offense to her i'm sure she's an amazing woman but you know when people i mean it depends how it depends how severe the bpd is a lot of times when it and i'm saying if it's a very severe case um it can get really like abusive on their ends you know they sometimes do ask for

way too much it can become a kind of hostage style relationship um and that's very unfair to yourself um especially if you're more of an empathetic person you can really be taken advantage of by people um not saying that this is at all what's happening in your relationship but just internally it's probably pretty smart to make sure you're not you know getting run dry because someone needs a lot of give or dab because someone needs a lot of give her dabs someone needs a lot of emotional attention and give her dabs so forth yeah drug her up give her mashed

potatoes maybe put some put some clonopin in her salads or whatever have you bought her jewelry or a telphar recently I mean there's just very easy steps to making so basically basically the advice is you can never leave her alone. You have to buy her expensive items of clothing or accessories.

Perfume. And she's always right. Perfume. Incense. Frankincense. Pretty much anything that the three wise guys, I mean the three kings would have given. No, it's the three wise guys i mean the three kings would have given the three wise guys hey so this is the baby yeah

my head was like oh yeah the three wise guys you know they gave jesus those presents oh i've been listening to I keep listening to Wise Guy the song by Joe Pesci over and over again why are you listening to Wise Guy if

over and over if y'all are unfamiliar if y'all are unfamiliar this is Joe Pesci's short lived one I believe it's only one song where he is rapping. Yeah, he's rapping in character as Vinny from My House of Dirty Things. Yeah, it's so fucking crazy. We can ask Max to put in a snippet.

Please, Max, just play the whole song. Edit out that doll's name and put this put this song in the album Max would never let me do this but I would love to send the last song to be the credit you can I send him song requests all the time he includes them what the hell I literally sent maybe he doesn't give it for you

because there's maybe some issues that you've caused there let's get to the next call i'll say one really quick sentence we've had some issues and i he hit me with his car but i'm not gonna like i'm not gonna sue him yet see this is what you could be looking forward to listener if you stay in this relationship allegations like that you've hit someone with their coming in there with your car etc etc all right guys we have a really good one right here lay it on me thick saucy trans hey ladies um hello a1 listener big fan of the pod my name is vina and my question is so recently okay not

that recently i had to go to the ward and the detox and it was fucking jail but like okay there's nothing on the shelf except for like sports photography books however i did find the 9-11 commission so i read all of that and i thought to myself like this doesn't happen like it was. So I was wondering what your guys' opinion on what happened that fateful day of September 11th when one was... Yeah. Also, sorry, I'm at work right now

and a customer just scared me. Jock, what's your favorite place to eat in the Twin Cities? Alright, love y'all. Bye. This caller was that previous caller's girlfriend. This is my favorite. This is my favorite. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. This is my favorite. This is my favorite. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. This is my favorite call we've ever gotten.

The 9-11 Commission. What's okay? What's some of the funny stuff going on there? I mean, it's very fishy. I don't buy the narrative. I don't buy the narrative for a second. Why don't you? The Bush administration definitely knew it was going to happen. They let it bush administration definitely knew it was going to happen they let it happen so they could

they knew it was going to happen and they let it go i thought you were saying you don't believe let me talk so they could have a pretext to invade the middle east for oil jock knight now it's your turn sorry i thought you're saying you don't believe that she went to jail i'm i wanted to start with first of all no i i definitely believe that she went to jail. I want to know, Nina, I support you and your journey of going to jail and also getting to jail. I think it was the psych ward and she said it was like jail. It was fucking jail. Oh, wait, I had to go to the ward. I went back around.

Okay, first of all... It's so crazy for them to leave the 9-11 commission just laying around a psych ward. What is that that i don't even know what that is that's definitely a specific um trying to make people crazier after 9-11 happened they like appointed a special uh congressional committee to create a report like saying what happened and the events of the day okay i like for public record i mean i get i i kind of understand like where she's going with this like she read that and she's saying that you know there's different theories about 9-11

and it's just like hours and hours of time i don't know what to believe but she's scheduled i just want to say i feel very sorry for her. Not because of the detox and jail thing. She seems like she's doing good. No, I just feel bad for her that she got stuck reading the 9-11 commission instead of being lucky like me finding the Bridget Jones diary at the top of the book thing in jail. I read that book twice.

It was already my favorite movie before when I went into jail. And then I felt like I was lost at a time in my life where i didn't know where i was going and i had no direction and i and and everything was falling apart around me and i read british jones diary book about a woman who is in the same same position two men want to fuck for no reason and first of all she's also kind And she's also kind of chubby and awkward. It's called fat pride and prejudice. And then second, I think that... What's your theory on

9-11? Do you think 9-11 was... Walk me through what you think happened. Walk me through what you think happened that day. Do you think it really happened, Jock? Okay, do I think it really happened? Yes, of course I think it really happened. Alright, i think it really happened all right so it it did happen let me let me did it let me point probably if i i'm gonna i'm gonna say that if i had to theorize it was um a cia backed operation that the uh or like an american intelligence agency provided weapons to terrorists and like

you know i think that it was a a a a precursor for us to be able to start the war the iraq war and have a reason and also have this precursor for us to search out oil it gave us this like agree here it's it's it was like okay it's like make an enemy first this is what america does you make an enemy you you create a quote-unquote terrorist you point out a different country that has a different ethnicity generally from what america is the different religion and you identify them as being a problem, and then you make them the culprit behind

a major disaster. Now, also... You're spitting some real facts right now, John. I'm going to say, also, the huge thing that you need to think about when you think about 9-11, that people are completely... Two things. First you think about 9-11 that people are completely all right two two well two things first of all 9-11 is happening imagine like it's happening it's

happening every day it's happening right now well no just just just just just just just put your put yourself in your in the shoes of someone who is a tourist in 2001 in New York who doesn't know what's happening. And they see smoke in the background, and they are posing a picture because they think it is a picture of a building of a fire. Then the second plane crashes, and suddenly the reality sets in that there is an active tragedy. You don't – I mean personally if this is terrorism, I would think there's something that's gone terribly wrong with planes, Boeing, whatever, the engines, yada, yada, yada. Okay. I wouldn't think immediately, oh, someone crashed this because, I mean, people like on purpose, people crash. Well, the second plane, the second plane would kind of validate the theory that.

Yeah. Yeah. But but but but but I just the level of fear that that would cause and then to have to to rationalize that the people responsible for that act for somehow related to our government and our like our are in charge of our potential lives. Yeah, people don't want to believe that our leaders would allow that to happen. Sure, yeah. It's very Darth Vader in the Republic. It's very Darth Vader vibes, yeah, for sure. And the whole Republic thing as well. And I'm sorry if I'm going off very long,

but I will say my last comment is Building 7. What a bitch. I mean, Building 7, what about that? A controlled demolition happens the same day, almost around the same few hours or so

of this thing. It is an FBI or some kind of government intelligence building. What information was in there that they had to... I think it was the SEC. There information was in there that they had to... I think it was the SEC. There are so many things that... Regardless, whoever the hell was in there...

9-11 could have been a cover-up for whatever was going on in fucking Building 7. And what did Seth MacFarlane know? He didn't get on that plane. He didn't get on that plane. Thank God, y'all. Thank God he did not get on that. It could have been even worse, y'all.

I think... Peter, we would have lost Peter. I thank God every day. If Seth MacFarlane had lied, Jock would have totally been pro-invasion. I would have been devastated. No more Roger? Me and Hessa were literally talking

last night being like i love family guy i love family i love american dad yeah i love american dad yeah that's literally our conversation we were like talking about we were both watching american dad different episodes at the same time while talking to each other and that's how we're sisters but um i would have been devastated i i look every time i see family guy or american dad i i say thank god you weren't taken from us too early yeah absolutely oh and jock um recommendations for places to eat in the twin cities so uh hey listeners so my restaurant recommendation the ultimate restaurant recommendation i have for the St. Paul, Minnesota area, directly next door to the Liberal Arts University is a place called Sheesh. It's like a Lebanese restaurant.

Rest in peace, my beautiful ex-boyfriend, Dustin, who I miss every day, worked there, and they have amazing – I used to go there and eat all the time. I mean, it's like literally one of my favorite places in the world. I haven't been to... But look, they have... What do you call that garlic Lebanese sauce? It's like a garlic sauce that... I just noticed...

Maybe it's Tulum? Tulum. Tulum is a city in Mexico. Okay, whatever. Well, anyway, they have this garlic dipping sauce. There is something like that. There's something that starts with T. I know there is.

Yeah. It does kind of sound like Tulum, I believe. But yeah, it's just garlic. It's not as garlic sauce. It's just white garlic sauce. It's so delicious. It's like heavenly there. I've never been able to find a place that makes it as good as there.

And they just have really good fresh ingredients I also recommend the blue plate burger chain which has juicy lucys which are the famous burgers that are stuffed with cheese in the inside of the meat patty you guys let's do let's do one more call and then maybe wrap it

up what do you guys think yeah I'm fine with that I was gonna recommend one last place I quit from this place but i could not deny that the food was amazing the cheeky monkey deli it's a british themed deli in saint paul i used to work there uh cheeky monkey deli incredible sandwiches i wonder if it still exists okay tomb tomb it. Tomb. It's T-O-U-M. That's the sauce. I knew it was close. Tomb.

I don't know if that's how you say it, but it's T-O-U-M. Anyways, let's do one more call and wrap it up. All right. This is a good, this is a juicy one. Amazing. Hi, y'all. I got a question for, I guess for everybody, but kind of maybe Jacques focused. So I'm bi, and I have a partner that's bi.

And we fuck other people, on our own, all kinds of combinations. But she really wants to watch me fuck a guy. And most of the guys that I have sex with are gay and have no desire to be around women or like be in any kind of sexual context with women so i was wondering if jock had any advice on like how to find maybe bi guys um that would like want to watch or want to be around with my partner while they get fucked i kind of like a twinks and twunks and androgyny and those kinds of things these days. Although, who knows? Like, it's becoming more and more popular for the straights to look that way, too.

Or the wise, whatever. And then Ben, I'm curious, you know, would you ever have sex with a guy? And is it around, like, necessarily involved? And Tessa, have you seen anything on Snippets that might be able to help me yeah love you guys love the podcast hopefully thanks for calling thanks so Jock how does he find

let me check on Snippets first of all how does he find a bi guy that will let him have sex with his girl and him it is so no a guy that wants to watch I think it's the girl that watches him have sex with his girl and him it is so no i think it wants to watch oh that wants to let it's the girl that the girl that watches him have sex with you which i'm sorry are you you're a misogynist you want to make your girlfriend watch you have sex with another no it sounds like the girlfriend

wants that oh the girlfriend if the girlfriend didn't want that i'd be like that is so rude well first of all do y'all do your uh my first question logistically is do y'all have a uh do y'all have a a cuck closet uh that could accommodate this arrangement yeah maybe you could do a cuck you know one of those one of those closets that has the blinds. And, like, you know those kind of doors? Well, I think you've got to let the other person know, though. It's not fair. Yeah.

You know? Let the gay guy know that the woman will be watching? Well, no, I'm just saying. But, like, some gay guy, I've just. Yeah, I mean, I'd put it behind a curtain. You could, you know, she could watch the air vent. I'm just saying the gay guy knows, but she's out of sight. Exactly.

I think the gay guy gets uncomfortable seeing the vagina come out of her. I don't think gay men mind women being out of sight, out of mind. Yeah, out of sight, out of mind, literally. Maybe this guy could help you. Slutting out ex-roommate. Pouring my ex-roommate's hole. They will be blindfolded and ass-up lubed up. Ex-roommate.

Last time had 13 dicks. Let's beat that. I want him to take as many cocks as possible. Ex-roommate is crazy. Okay. Can we have a whole episode breaking down cum dump culture? Like the side we've had a lot that's been a lot of them

I want to hear it from a scientist lens we'll try to find a cum dump scientist I want for him do not join oh my god you're not coming oh my god it is so it is so insane that like gig

do you even do you need to include ex-roommate in that description that's so fucking funny ex-roommate is fucking insane just why does it and also why is your relationship with your ex-roommate so fraught that you need to control the 13 penises which will go inside of him what happened what happened in what happened in that apartment that this is the relationship you have with a former roommate oh my god oh my god so many songs so many songs are mask sub bottom looking for dom tops readers i want to say that this that i want to say that this um this current discussion is bringing two songs to my head uh to the forefront the scientist by coldplay and uh the old apartment by bare naked ladies uh the old apartment it's just yeah yeah yeah no i've been thinking about the song all week

it makes sense i've been listening to it a lot but also i feel like that's the perfect kind of song to attract a guy that if they're both kind of by kind of by maybe no bye wait i have to read the rest of this there's some good stuff in this description all right then let's answer this okay but i want to i want to okay well the i'll just read the funniest part it says asians double double plus, but then the heart eyes emoji. So this is your profile? No. No. Yeah.

You don't have to. Someone seems like the call is coming from inside the house. Oh, no. Yeah. I don't know. I don't even. I can't even say out loud what Hessa told me. So, okay.

This guy. Look, where can you find bi guys that will let you fuck them while your girlfriend is... I would literally, I would just say, just hide her. You don't need to tell the gay guy. It's fine. If she's hidden, they're not

going to really care. Maybe if it's, you know, been an issue. Maybe if it's been an issue for a really long time you could kind of maybe she could watch from a separate room you can set up some cameras and film you guys having sex and kind of beam it to her

with a VR headset on and if if the guy discovers her in the closet you just pretend you don't know her to pretend you're like oh who the fuck are you get the hell out of my house bitch and just to just just call my cops please seeking during seeking derange just does not condone uh anything happening without permission uh women are you. Are you afraid that we're going to get sued by a gay guy?

Are you afraid? If we got sued by a gay guy who was like, this podcast encouraged a woman to hide in an air vent while I fucked her boyfriend and now the emotional turmoil of that is in the millions and I'm

suing these people for saying it was okay. Is that what you're worried about? I'm worried about everything all the time. Okay. So, yes. Okay, then let me answer this for a second. Okay. So, gentle man, I think that there is –

what city do you think this person lives in? Pacific Northwest. Okay. Pacific Northwest, Oregon, Seattle, Portland. just what city do you think this person lives in if you can pacific northwest okay pacific northwest oregon seattle portland very portland question no offense if that's true then you it you shouldn't be having a problem and maybe you should adjust your hygiene if you're having trouble finding someone to be a third in this situation if you live in the in the portland area and you're having trouble finding a bisexual you should maybe clean your hole a little bit better step one or maybe your wife should clean up a little bit i think have you considered that maybe your girlfriend isn't hey i don't know we love women here women are never in the wrong no no no honestly joock I think you're right

I think you should be meaner to this couple I'm not trying okay I actually really like this couple clean up your bitch I'm just trying I'm like yo pussy my steak yo pussy my steak

why in your bitch's ass, dude? Maybe your girlfriend's pussy stinks. Maybe that's why gay guys don't want to fuck you, bitch. Yeah, gay guys don't like women who are covered in poop head to toe. Have you thought about that, sir? Why in your bitch's ass? The idea of a bisexual couple inviting a gay guy over to be like, hey, can we cop over?

Honestly, you're onto something because gay guys are going to be like, oh my, ew, she smells. Ew. Ew. Oh my God. Oh my God. Did you guys, my shit wait oh my god did you guys did you oh my god

why are you wiping your bitch's ass oh my god did you guys just order a ton of to go sushi and eat it really quickly before I got here okay

can I get something from this oh god we're just kidding we're just kidding no we're not no we're not I think Jack is onto something

I'm not kidding I'm being dead. I love this person so much. He's one of my favorite listeners that's ever called in. I'm just giving them an idea of what could be causing the gay men to revolt from your woman. Okay, I mean, to give this guy a serious answer here, it's going to be very hard to find, I would say, a gay guy who it seems like what's implied is that you're topping this guy. So you've got to find a bottom. No, I think the other guy is topping him.

Okay, regardless, most gay men pop and bottom. He's asking for a bi man. Have y'all tried just standing naked in the alleyway for a few hours and see what happens? So I think it's just going to be pretty hard to find a gay guy here who's going to agree to it. You have to only go with I would say don't waste your time. Only go with bi guys. And how do you find a bi? I'll do it.

Jacques will do it. Yeah, I just I don't care how she smells. I'll probably be more into it. I don't. Oh my smells i'll probably be more into it i don't oh my god i'm sorry ben i'm sorry i didn't mean to interrupt you no it's okay it's fine she definitely doesn't smell um no she doesn't actually uh she smells good also in this sniffy's thing it says update 2d

bottom confirmed so it's it's like a 2d character like a cartoon maybe maybe like peter griffin 2d bottom confirmed i think they meant like second bottom but it's too no it's no that's two dicks he's getting double penetrated it means it's a bottom that can handle two dicks 2d bottom well jocks mike is crapping out let's just end it while he's leaving um guys thanks for listening um you can find a bonus episode jock stop talking if you are not trying to be a bitch but just want to make sure we end the recording all right you can find a bonus episode

of seeking arrangements on patreon.com slash seeking arrangements and you can call us with any questions or comments or anything like you heard today and I'll put the number in the episode description and jock has a live show that he's doing with frequent guest Jilly. And there's some special announcements coming with that.

It's called Show Pig in L.A. It's at the Lodge Room in L.A. We'll include links to buy tickets in the description. And everything else you'll need to know you can find there thank you for listening and we'll see you next time yeah yeah go ahead go ahead you're back i just wanted to say that show pig is april 4th at 7 p.m lodge room in los angeles featuring the beautiful and fabulous and talented people april uh and grace of girl god and we've also got will miniker felix b darman and amber lee frost of chapo trap house as well as the fabulous

wonderful talented stylist fashion model deluxe professor jilly and we are going to be delivering you the best thing that you've ever seen in your life it is where Babe Pig in the Big City 2 meets Showgirls but it's a lot more than just that and actually

I just finished an edit on my script last night, and I fully wrote a script for this. So y'all wake up. All right, guys. All right, guys. Get tickets. Fuck y'all. All right, we'll see you next week.

Love y'all. Bye. Bye. Bye. Thank you. Thank you.