Seeking Derangements - SD 300 - We Did It Yall w Cara Cunningham

Episode Date: March 25, 2024

Cara stops by to celebrate our 300th episode! We talk about East Coast vs Tennessee vs Louisiana, best and worst fast foods, astrology, and much more. Find weekly bonus episodes on our Patreon

Hello people, and welcome. We are... God damn it. Wait, can we restart? Okay, I'm ready, I'm ready now. Okay, go ahead. Okay. Howdy people! Y'all, welcome to Seeking Derangement, the greatest podcast ever created. I am here with Ben and Hessa, as per usual. Boring. Who cares? But more importantly, I'm here with the most wonderful, fabulous superstar of Southern excellence.

I give you Cara Cunningham. Hey, y'all. Hey, Cara. Welcome. Thank you for coming on. Thank you for coming on. Thank you for having me. It's not even on purpose, but this is our 300th episode.

Wait, really? I said that earlier. This is perfect. I'm honored. Yeah. They said good things come in three and the new problem is three you know what they say third time

is the charm and there's three of us plus Kara so yeah that's pretty much three three is still involved you do need three to get to four that's pretty much three close to three you have to four. That's pretty much three. That's pretty much three. Close to three, I have to admit.

It is literally very close to three. You can't deny that, Ben. So if you're not familiar with Kara Cunningham, read a book, wake up, do some research because I don't need to explain how important. I've had a lot of people reach out and say god jock you and kara would just get along so well you do have some undeniable chemistry that's that's for sure if they only start the dm look kara i can only imagine what's happening in that in those dms sometimes sometimes i've

seen jock meet a certain person with a certain kind of energy in person like in a room and you can just tell they're gonna fuck i'm not saying that's exactly what's happening here but it has happened before and it's kind of similar but how been known to sign an NDA before I don't slow people down oh my god that would be so crazy if my first NDA that I write for someone else is so that me and

Kara can have sex in private your second because you me and Ben have done one to say that we haven't had a threesome before we can't talk about that yeah we can't talk about it that is literally against the NDA

well you wrote it really poorly so there's a lot of loopholes all the R's were backwards I only had a crayon what did you want me to write it with like how else am I supposed to write it it was a paper towel and a crayon what did you want me to write it with like how else am i supposed to write it it was a paper towel and a crayon i the crayon broke i had to use a dried up felt marker so you can barely read the end of the contract it's it's not my fault cara i'm so jealous you get to smoke inside well that's

part of being a homeowner i mean you can literally twirl around and be a dick pig can you yes i go ahead oh no yeah you can smoke in bars here um at certain ones and that's usually where you find like the good trump dick is like if there's cigarettes in the air you can really get like the daddies so yeah it smells like a stale cigarette when you walk in it's like all right i'm about to get dicked down yeah or i'm gonna dick them down the trans top of tennessee so okay there we go it's a rare it's a dying breed of the trans top is there another one that you have to battle for dominance? Is there a competition

or is it a clear field? It's NBs versus Trump dick. Who wins? Wow. I think the Trump dick would have you, Jacques. I think you'd be crying and snuggling with them. It's okay. I don't want to diverge from too much of our at hand topics which is cara but i thought you were

gonna say you don't want to diverge from the neuro i don't want to be neurodivergent look i don't want to diverge from the neuro he would never but i. But I saw a train the other day that was so beautiful. I'd just like to talk about it. Really recently, me and this guy both met this girl on the same night, and we were both flirting with her, and we had like a 30-minute, like 45-minute in-between time where we like left hanging out with her and her friends and then came back to my place to get ready to go back left hanging out with her and her friends and then came back to my place

to get ready to go back to hanging out with her and her friend, my mutual friend, watching a movie. Long story short, right before we left, can you describe what he looks like? Is he hotter than you? Be honest.

Yeah, that we need to know. By law, he he hotter than you? Be honest. Yeah, that we need to know. Well, by law, he's hotter. By law, he's hotter than me because he's 6'1". And the girl that we were both trying to flirt with was also 6'1". Oh, okay. So I couldn't have won. So they both were looking down at you, literally. Wait, the girl was 6'1 you literally yes or six foot but they were almost the exact same

height and you were gonna fuck her well i wanted to or at least kiss her that would be like a tree like a chihuahua on a rottweiler i love that i love being that chihuahua and jacques was wearing his chihuahua outfit that day i was i was in my chihuahua era i've had sex with tall men i've had sex with tall women and put that in doesn't the height i mean it's a little weird sometimes when you're too tall too you know and there's like a you know a crazy height difference you're what you're like five you're five nine so yeah well in the interim time five six bitch oh get a good as shorty um do you think that she had cis dysphoria being like that tall wait well was she trans that's the real question was she cis trans well i'm gonna be honest i'm gonna say she was wait she was trained i think i think she's not

she's not trans is the is the is the thing and i i'm not 99.9 percent for sure but the reason i don't think she's trans is because she was on uh our mutual friends high school um basketball team together like women's basketball trans women famously love playing sports well i know but like they're dominating at sports i know but like like i don't know who's boss i don't know how it works but look look look back to so me and my friend have both expressed interest he turns to me and goes, well, I too fancy this girl. Because he does put on a southern accent sometimes. Okay, so you were with, like, Clark Gable from, like, He does kind of have a Clark Gable vibe to him.

Okay, okay, interesting. Well, long story short, I brought her two paintings. And I also brought my mutual friend that was hosting her some paintings too. But I tried to give her the nicer ones. And I tried to like, you know, I thought it was risen enough. Anyway, we're all sitting on one couch and she like switched spots to make out with him. So it wasn't going to happen. She made out.

They were making out in front and I was like, a lot of words to say you didn't get pussy drunk. You were making out on top of my painting. It was awful. I mean, I just wanted to kiss. You know, I mean, what was the painting

called? Two paintings. One was of a gun and the other one was of eyes crying okay that's a crazy gift to give someone you're trying to hook up with here's a gun and here's me crying I let her look through I let her look through my paintings and I gave

her two okay she chose them it's given Freudian though it's like on one hand the tears are like this is the result of our relationship. And then the gun is like, you know. I'm going to kill you. Right.

I'm going to kill myself. Yeah. Yeah, I guess it's where I'm going to kill myself with the crying eyes. Whatever. I've decided, and this was the plan all along, I'm not going to kiss her or do anything. We're going to be friends. This was the plan all along. Kind of seems gonna kiss her or do anything. We're gonna be friends. This was the plan all along.

Kinda seems like that wasn't the plan until Clark Kent started making out with your bitch. I wanna make her into a superstar. I don't wanna say her name out loud, but she has the name that it would be so easy for her to become a superstar just based on her name.

Wait, so Jacques, you wanna be the Kanye for her to become a superstar just based on her name. Wait, so Jacques, you want to be the Kanye to her where he makes his girlfriends into like... He transes them out and makes them stars. I mean, I guess I have subliminally

taken a few notes from Master Ye. Kanye has been sending me some secret messages through his gestures in public that only i can understand yeah through tv and the movements of cars on the street he has been talking to me he's been telling me how to control bitches through the direction of the wind um so my detriment kara i, I am a diehard Kanye West fan, and I felt like I developed the obsession to be a diehard Kanye West fan like one week before he announced he loved Hitler, and it's kind of been a downhill thing.

Did he say that? He did not. Did he announce verbatim, I love Hitler? Maybe he did. He said like Hitler had some good ideas or something no no no he said he was saying every every human is valuable even hitler i feel like didn't erica horn didn't erica badu say something like that in an interview years ago two or something where i can't remember what she oh i don't know i don't want to that sounds right

i believe it allegedly i don't know i don't want to misquote anywhere erica if you're listening it's a it's merely alleged we don't know erica badu you were the seeking arrangement sucka mc of the week i cannot imagine how much erica badu would hate this podcast can we can we fact check that like is there a way to google erica badu erica i'll do it right now i'll search erica badu because i don't want to get in trouble if she didn't say that but i feel like she said something like that look people are always like she would kind of have like a marion williamson humanist take on hitler where she's like yeah yes you're right you're right she said uh erica there's a

billboard headline from 2018 erica badu finds empathy with hitler and bill cosby i see good in everybody okay you nailed it fucking nailed that shit i feel like she also complimented his artwork or something like really that's so funny oh my god that's so cool it's so funny when people are like his art was amazing because it's it's like the worst fucking art of all it's it's like art you find at like a yard sale um or not a yard sale at like a pier one in the state estate sale kanye's uh does like finding the good things in people rather than focusing on the evil um per example he likes that puff daddy um and r kelly and bill cosby are all rich wait didn't he just do a rap where he was like saying he was all of them or something?

Yeah, that's what I was about to say. So the lyric goes, and Max can insert this. I'll send a clipped out version of this for him. I don't know if Max could insert this because it might get us copyright. It might get it like muted. Well, you could go look it up. The song is Carnival. And he says, I'm yay Kelly, bitch.

I'm puff daddy rich. I'm Bill Cosby, bitch. Me too, me, bitch. And then he's like, she said she sucked my dick, but she didn't suck my dick. Then why'd she say that? She sucked my dick. Something like that. Nice.

Really quickly, Ben, I'm getting a notification that your computer cannot record. It's okay. I'm recording on my end. I have a Zoom. Okay. Your video might not be captured. We'll figure it out. Okay. Yeah, it's fine. I'm not gonna lie. Sometimes on the touch tunes, like at the local bars and gay

bars i do i do be trolling and um oh yeah i do play like marilyn manson r kelly and like back to back like so it's like playlist. It's like, who is playing this? What kind of person is this? I went to the gay bar once, and I started playing Marilyn Manson's, like, Sweet Dreams, and this gay guy just grabs his cup, slings it on the ground, and is like, he's fucking canceled! What is going on?

And just, like, storms back in the club. I'm like, I'm doing this because you just did that like you know yeah i'm doing this because i wanted to clear all the people like you out of this club because the vibes were getting rancid i'm also i'm i'm on a new tip i'm sorry but like and maybe this conflicts with something i've said in the past but i like i'm not i if i hear a canceled musician the music still sounds good i'm sorry there i i could think of wait is that like controversial to say yeah i'm wondering what you mean do you think it sounds different to other people after you i do legitimately think that some people like will do not have the same amount of enjoyment of listening to Kanye West

gold digger because of his current. It's so stupid. And then also, I'm sorry, R. Kelly, clearly not a good person, but also, everyone knows that Ignition Part 2 is one of the greatest songs ever created

and everyone has grinded. Bomb song everyone is an amazing song but it's really all about i'm your angel with celine dion oh yeah that's what it's really all about also i can believe i can fly i don't know about that one i believe i can fly you don't know it that one. I believe I can fly. You don't know that song? Wait, it's called I Can Believe? Yes, it's called I Can Believe I Can Fly. I can believe I can fly, but I won't. And that's the final, the last line of the song is famously, the music stops and he goes,

but I won't. I mean, and also, The Beautiful People by Marilyn Manson is one of the greatest songs ever created. It hits, it slaps, and I don't feel like when I listen to it, I'm hurting someone. And that's on period.

But do you think the reason they don't like that song now has nothing to do with his behavior? It's more about, like, because he's singing about beautiful people and everyone now has a de-sexed alien and like they don't feel beautiful so like it's really about like you know their insecurity maybe that could be it that could be it definitely it i mean everyone is very insecure with themselves these days and not comfortable I mean he's kind of a de-sexed alien though too

I feel like mechanical animals like especially that album cover and like that character was a symbol for like what we're in now like everyone is a de-sexed nullified just smoothed over the genitals but we have boobs one is a de-sexed, nullified, just

smoothed over the genitals, but we have boobs with no nipples. That is where we're headed. So I feel like it was... What's the word? An allegory? Or like a prophecy? A harbinger for what's to come. The de-sex to come. What does allegory mean?

Allegory is similar to a metaphor. It's a parable or a fable it's a it's a device to show um similar similarities between two i have an acrid education so oh oh bit well see that's what happens if you get if you act up and talk too much and get cancelled Ben just disappeared from our screen and it's because he was just cancelled publicly I think it was the powers that be I think it had something to do with JVN

exactly JVN just bought Riverside JVN just JVN just sniped Ben in his apartment I was like what the fuck is Riverside? I was thinking Riverdale, like Riverside. Yeah, she's like, I've never used Riverdale before.

This is, well, there's Riverdale. Riverside, the headquarters is right next to the school, Riverdale. And so that's why it got the name. Is that so true? No, I'm kidding Hessa got you like you were tricking me this morning me and Kara were talking

and Kara kept making all these jokes like and I was like yes ma'am like being so gullible so funny okay so I think Ben is back he's ready to Like being so gullible. So funny. Okay, so I think Ben is back. He's ready to... Hey, guys.

Hey, we talked about you while you were gone. Yeah, we talked about you. I just talked about how small your penis was, but I didn't give a size. That's not very nice. That's not cool, man. It's okay. We assumed that JVN

had hacked Riverdale to kick you out. Yeah. Hacked into Riverdale and killed you off. He definitely would love to. Whatever. I feel like he's probably worse at tech than I am. Hopefully.

Wait, can I be honest, though? I've seen your photos. Because I listened to y'all's episode about JVN. And the only thing that went through my mind is, I wonder, though, if you took away the weird neon dresses and whatever and just chopped that fucking hair off, I wonder if she could give us a butch queen fantasy because you know the pussy's probably hairy oh yeah absolutely she could give us like

dick pig like sexy at a bathhouse team well she used i mean zur used to be in bathhouses she used to smoke yeah and get railed out in bathhouses in Kansas City. What happens to... Smoking meth and getting railed? No, I like that JVN. I want that one to come out. That's literally who JVN was

for like 10 years. Xur was in a bathhouse. Allegedly. Yeah. I mean, he contracted HIV there,

which is, I mean, it tracks for like Midwestern, you know, allegedly parody. I don't have nothing to do with

that's alleged. He's wrote about this in his in his book. Okay, I'm one of his biggest fans. All right.

I know this. I'm scared. You read the book. I think Ben, i think the hate between jvn and ben is because ben is in love and doesn't know how to admit it i do love jvn i think jvn is an amazing person i think he's like absolutely hilarious i genuinely am obsessed with jvn i have no no qualms admitting that but do to just to circle back from to my original do you think that he's sexy no no he may be the furthest thing from current the way the way he looks the way he looks currently is like an abomination to all queer people and and isn't probably will cause an uprising in in hate crimes towards queer people i love when you make this argument it's so yeah

jvn is a hazard to gay people everywhere because he's so corny what if tomorrow jvn announced that what if tomorrow jvn announced that he's bald and he came out and he looked exactly, and he was dressed exactly like you, Jacques. And he looked almost exactly the same. What would you do? Well, first of all, he could never catch up to how many Telfars I have. He could never look like me. Okay. And my ass is bigger than his.

And he's got a weird kind of fetal alcohol syndrome face. Something's wrong with him that is related to his genetics. And also he just if a Republican like bigot Googled non-binary because they were confused and didn't know what it meant and the first image that came up was jonathan van ness of course they're gonna go commit a hate crime what do you think is gonna happen okay okay so he's kind of he's kind of the he's kind of the non-binary uh straw that breaks the camel's back for for hateful people across the country. Is this what you're saying? Yes. He's an accelerant. Okay. Yeah, I mean, look. What do you

think you are in that case? Just... I think I'm a bucket of... How do you think this person who is now about to step out of their house and kill a bunch of non-binary people,

how do you think they'd react to you? I'm not saying that in a mean way. I'm just curious. No, no, no. I mean, I would get got. Yeah. Okay. I mean, that's fine.

Oh, and goodbye. I love when he asks a question. And, yep, see, that's what happens. Okay. Bye to JVN. Bye. Don't talk shit. This is the last thing i'll say about jvn trump lit uh trump had a match that was lit uh that like symbolically got all the bigots together and then jvn was the gasoline that accelerated all of the hate. Wouldn't that get all on them and then light them on fire?

Yeah, they all are also burned. That's why he looks so good. Here's what I will say, though. If I didn't say this, I would be sitting with the inner hypocrite for years as a gag. I would do videos in dresses and these really performative like church hats and I'd be like Junie's admiring the plants outside videos and I looked very non-binary presenting but what people don't get I did that as like a stepping stone like I wasn't sincerely being like you know this is yeah but I feel um for some people it is a stepping stone into like before

they get to their authenticity you know for me it was just comedy but i wish that jvn uh saw it as comedy i see what you you were saying earlier then i think that the butch queen era might be incoming is what you're wondering i just i just am curious about how harry the dick is that's all okay you gotta i think harry you and the ass you gotta strip away all this like de-sexed neon shit and get get all that out of the way so that we can see the inner cum pig well that's gotta be... I don't know if they show that part on Queer Eye. That might be just unrated Queer Eye where they...

where JVN grooms the target's ball hair and ass hair and dick hair. It's the entirety of the behind-the-scenes shot. Yeah. On set, it's just this. Putting little hair curlers on the pubes. Ew curlers on the pubes like

queer eye comes out on dvd and the deleted scene on the bonus features is just jvn being railed at the phoenix in new orleans like back to back dressed normal what if he's been wearing a wig this whole time? Because the hair doesn't look that good. So I imagine it's fake. I think his hair looks fine. I think it's his real hair. I would say so.

That would be a scandal though. Because he's a hair specialist. I mean, I would love that. I think that's the fair thing to happen. That he's exposed as a fraud. I think it would be funnier if they just caught him having sex with a woman who do you think has more sex at pildo tan mom or jvn like that's the real question today tan for like a visceral sexuality i i genuinely think tan france he he's he the way that he wears his pants tight and the way that he looks so prim

and proper those kind of people are always like little sexual low-key freaks yeah i don't know also tan mom definitely has more sex sex appear appeal than all of the queer eyes yeah because she's so tan because she's so tan she's absolutely fucking yeah she randomly commented on my instagram like two years ago and was like you're disgusting and oh my god what a bitch i think i was eating like a hamburger or something but i actually i like her as a performance artist so i was really sad oh yeah maybe she turned around it's funny to be called disgusting by a leather couch with eyes and a mouth also though i i mean like it's it's almost like affirming and this will

lead on to the next thing uh to be like told that you're disgusting and know that it's it's almost like affirming and this will lead on to the next thing uh to be like told that you're disgusting and know that it's you're just living the best life you can well i don't know that's the same yeah i don't know well look look i feel like you and me have a similar eating habits like you know like i feel like you don't care about how the way you look when you eat i don't care about the way i look when i eat i want to enjoy feel like you don't care about how the way you look when you eat. I don't care about the way I look when I eat. I want to enjoy the food. I don't care if it's unhealthy. I'm not trying to live the healthiest life I possibly can.

If I was trying to live the healthiest life I can, I would be on this podcast. Um, but like, first of all, I'm going to set you up with, you know, I want you to, I want, I want to know, first of all i'm gonna set you up with you know i want you to i want i want to know first

of all your top three sloppiest meal choices i've seen you eat the salad cracker the cracker salads which i think the wendy's the wendy's talk oh i know what you're talking about you're talking about if i go to like a pizza place with a salad bar and I put crackers on it. The messiest though of all, and I just had it yesterday, is Wendy's taco salad. Because I swear to God, because they give you this container and you want to shake it so that the beans are up. to shake it so that the beans are sure sure so it's all together with the flavors but it like just gets all over your cleavage and then you look like you know a victim of just happened yeah yeah um well there is oh go ahead oh no no you go no i don't know many other like messy foods because i just see everything messy like um i don't believe in like pretending that like i'm upper class i didn't go to like what's that school cotillery what's it

cotillion cotillion classes cotillion i didn't go to that i'm an eighth grade dropout so i just see everything like really as an example of a person you know you do give it's iconic you do give southern debutante dropout vibes in the most beautiful perfect way well i'm always wondering like like literally and this is maybe a question for y'all even because you know i know ben you said you're not a coastal elite but you give me that you know and it's because i'm it's because i'm gay it's because i'm a gay bitch and look kind of jewish that's why that's why that happens you're not the first one you're not the first person to think i'm no i think it's just you speak in complete sentences and not like, you don't struggle to find the adjectives the way that I struggle to find the adjectives. So like, there's a difference here, but like, here's my question y'all who sat people down?

Like did your family sit you down and go, this is how you eat food. My mamaw who raised me never was like, this is how you eat. Like, she was just happy I was enjoying food. So, no. Does she eat similar to you? No. But she got me, she adopted me when I was, like, four and saved me from, like, foster care. So, I think she was just grateful that I was, like, eating and, like, happy.

Yeah. So, she felt sorry for me. And so like, no one was ever like, bitch, sit up straight, put the fork here, like do this.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't get it. Table manners. Right.

There's something. No, I never really got, I never really got that. I think it just, I don't know. It just happened. I don't remember.

I don't remember a distinct conversation where it was like, you know, sit up straight, no, no elbows on the table. It wasn't that kind of household for me that I remember I've just always been kind of prissy and have

developed my own table manners because I'm like like I said kind of a kind of a bitch about that here's why I ask because I hate to be that girl that's like oh well this is transphobic I mean like sure I'm not that girl like you could call me whatever I still don't call it transphobic what I'm struck by as

like someone that just puts themselves out there like a mad woman is I've done eating videos for years and they told me I ate messy when I lived aesthetically male and as chris and they tell me i eat messy now but it's like i get it more now is what i'm saying yeah yeah yeah yeah so i'm like are you just hung up on the fact that i'm supposed to sit here and like you know be a pretty woman yeah well i think people just eat like people just expect more out of women. Yeah. I think you're right. And more in the sense of, like, women shouldn't be eating certain foods or they should be eating them in a certain way. But I'm not a woman. I'm not a woman.

Well, I mean, people will probably see you as one online. I thought you were a woman, but if you tell me different, I'll listen. She's trolling. I'm a woman of fag experience, quote the deeply unwell podcast but no like you know i'm not a bio queen so like don't expect that of me i'm just a blogger for sure i mean i get that i think it's liberating and inspirational it's liberating a beautiful woman like a beautiful Southern woman like yourself, like living so happy and carefree by like the way you eat is virtually so inspirational to all aspects of my life. Because I feel like, OK, you can be a beautiful Southern woman and also eat whatever you want and live however you want which you live unapologetically which is how most people should be well i make a lot of apologies after i black out and flirt with my

drivers but i don't i don't know how unapologetic i am but um i thank you do you guys have any tennessee louisiana southern beef because we have two Southern queens on the pod. I thought maybe we could have some infighting amongst the South. But maybe Tennessee and Louisiana aren't close enough to hate each other. Appalachians and Cajuns don't fight. Yeah. See, that's the thing. I'm Appalachian.

I'm an Appalachian cutie. I was born an hour from where Dolly Parton grew up. So I'm very Appalachian pretty girl. But I don't really, I don't mean this offensively, but I don't really think of like Louisiana that much. Other than like Brittany was born there in Kentwood. And I know that y'all eat crawfish, but we don't eat crawfish. We eat cornbread and beans. And it's like a very different thing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. You don't think about louisiana much i've been there and like i did like this like speech at a college once i know it's shocking but um i i was just confused by the layout of it like y'all just walk around it doesn't feel southern when you're down there i don don't see, like... It feels... It's more like Caribbean, I feel like. I don't see the mountains and, like, you know, the cornbread. So, it just was giving me, like, cobblestone streets.

And I felt like I was in Europe or something, you know? Yeah. Just out of curiosity, what college did you speak at in Loyola? What were you talking about? So HBO did a documentary on me around like 2012, 13. And it was just one of the little stops we had to stop. I don't know what the name of it was. It was in New Orleans.

I guess. Probably, I feel like. There's not many good colleges. Or was it LSU? You didn't go to Baton Rouge? It wasn't LSU and Baton Rouge. I think it was New Orleans. Okay, well then it's probably Tulane or Loyola.

I can't imagine. That's crazy. Well, so they framed it as like, here's one of the first ever viral people, whatever. So the class was just taking notes on my experiences i don't know the same way i had to give a speech at yale and we did like a private it was some shit about them learning social media i don't know i see that's amazing i didn't know you were such a scholar yale yeah i know trying to try to paint me as some kind of highfalutin

meanwhile you're giving college lectures i didn't i don't have a college degree i never went to college that was this is actually all paralleled is because yeah that was my first first exposure to people that were like college educated specifically like art school people yeah and a lot of the feedback at these screenings for my documentary be like oh like you speak like a poor person like you're very primitive and I was like what they know they shouldn't be saying it they want to say primitive so rude say it to me in a way as like i should really take this as a compliment like oh yeah yeah you know how to do this but you speak like a poor person

i'm like i just had a can yeah digital camera from sears i don't know i'm putting on a show but yeah you just that's very patronizing yeah but the point is you remind me of those people that speak in complete sentences at these colleges ben that is so funny because i literally like i'm i'm from des moines iowa i i had to pay my jewish friend to do my online math classes so i could graduate high school like i'm a complete fucking bumpkin idiot it kind of shows how sociopathic i am that i can i have now i'm passing as a coastal elite because i have i did always kind of hate being from the middle of nowhere um and i will be honest i do hate most iowans sorry to you guys out there but i do have a lot of trauma regional trauma um and i did leave did leave

home when i was very young not because i was like kicked out for being gay or anything my parents were always really chill about that it was more because i was like i can't be here with you losers so i guess i do have some kind of strain of elitism for sure and thank you for believing that i'm i'm a huge bitch from the east coast and not from flying over country that does mean a lot to me truly let's just i'm finally passing but maybe this isn't about education maybe this is astrological like what are you a virgo what's your sign wait you should guess okay i'll tell you this kara i once had i was at a party one time in denver colorado which is very just like astrology white person central and there was this guy there who was like really cute and i was you know like making like fuck eyes at him you know like gay guys do if you exchange eye

contact within three seconds in a certain way you're basically sucking someone's dick um and that was happening and so i was like okay amazing like i'm gonna get some dicks tonight and then he walked over to me and he was like very woo woo if i Like, I'm going to get some dicks tonight. And then he walked over to me, and he was, like, very woo-woo. If I remember correctly, he may have been carrying a staff. This was a weird time in my life. It was a weird time in Denver, Colorado. I can't believe you had just admitted to having a staff. He was definitely into chaos magic, which is pretty bad.

But he was hot, so who cares? Anyways, he asked me what my astrological uh chart was like the the big three the big and and i i knew them only just from exposure and being in denver and i told him and he looked at me straight my eyes and he said that is violent and he walked away and did not talk to me again and i'd see him at parties and he would always avoid me and I was like dude we were about to fuck we were literally about to have sex and you asked me one question

I did some violence I can give you my big three do you want to know them for the big 300th episode guess my son episode. For the big 300 episode. Wait, okay. Guess my son. Did you just call me your son? Guess which one of us is

your son? Her name is Esa. It's not Virgo. It's not Virgo. You think I'm such a nerd? You think I'm an East Coast college educated Virgo. You think I'm such a nerd? You think I'm an East Coast college educated Virgo? Okay.

First of all, let me insert. I checked your temperature metaphorically when I DM'd you that voice memo where I did the impression of your dad's video of the trans. This is so funny.

And you responded in demo. What? You posted a video of your dad, right? Being like, she's a trans. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. My dad and I were doing some work on this trans lady's roof, and he had no clue that she was trans when I told him he was kind of like

you know yeah he was a little shocked and you did like either an impression of it anyway I did an impression of his day laborer accent yes yeah and then I voice memoed you my impression and you responded like what the fuck

is that so to me oh my god I didn't know what you were saying i'm sorry i had no clue it was i remember this very distinctly i remember hearing this thing i've had a bit of a grudge against you it's so funny that because you thought you thought i was being one of these y Yale people calling you a primitive species. Because I was just like, I don't understand you. In my defense, you were doing an accent of an accent. And I was, I remember getting this.

It was like, it was around Christmas time and I was drunk at a party. And I was like, what is this voice memo? And I totally forgot and I had posted that. And I was like, I think she's doing like a Spanish accent. I can't figure it out but that's my bad i'm sorry i'm sorry it was never personal it's so funny that ben a second ago was trying to ignite a beef between jock and cara and now the the real beef emerges i remember hearing about this second hand from caribbean like yeah i tried to send

ben a funny voice memo and he just didn't get it and i was like yeah that's typical bitch bitch ben being a bitch being a bitch i just genuinely was confused sometimes sometimes a gay guy can just genuinely be confused okay it's not always wow now Ben has a complex about being a coastal elite also I'm one of you folks I'm normal just like the rest of y'all

please I just have to stop and say that Kara when you said that I have a grudge against you to Ben that was like one of the sexiest things you've ever done I was like wow leave me out of that please

no Kara I'm sorry I should have I should not have I should have gotten I did not get it at the time I thought I clarified it and recover it recouped my behavior but I guess I may not have. Can we squash the beef? Yeah, but the origin of me bringing that up is that's when I thought you were a Virgo, because my best friend, Sean, who's a Virgo, routinely pretends to not understand when I'm joking. understand when i'm joking like i could literally say like anything funny and he's like um okay like question mark but no what i need oh hold on i need to hear what was i'm uh do you want a big three you want the big three yeah the sagittarius sun scorpio moon with an Aries rising.

Wow, here's the real beef. We're both Sagittarius. Oh, what the hell? Come on, sister. Bring it in, sister. I love Sagittarius. I love Sagittarius. I mean, people always say this about their own star signs, but I hear so much shit about Sagittarius constantly.

And I think... Is that your moon, Scorpio? Yeah, with an Aries rising. this about their own star signs but i hear so much shit about sagittarius constantly and i think your moon scorpio yeah with an aries okay so we both okay here's another thing we both have water oh my god okay the moon is water so when you have a water sign there it's like a whole situation so mine's cancer which complements your moon so. And then your rising's Aries, which is fire, which goes with my rising, which is air. Air and fire go together. So the problem is... So we should be besties. Well,

the problem is these are romantic. These are romantic. Oh, we have to fuck. These are romantic things. Jock's getting so mad. Jock's getting so mad. Jock's getting so mad. If Ben and Cara fuck, I am leaving seeking derangements.

Here's the problem. I am not talking to either of you ever again. Oh my god. I'll kill myself. I'll kill myself out of jealousy. I swear to gosh. The problem with our astrological compatibility is I'm still waiting

to have my ffs and i'm excited for it and i'm not in the mood to detransition for you yeah so jock there you go okay wait y'all my phone i was okay really quick i was about to ask my mom what her what my birth time birthday is i was about to ask my mom what my birth time was. What your birthday is? I was about to ask my mom what my birthday is. Mama, what's my birthday? No, no, no, no, no, no. Please respond to me. No, no, no, no, no.

So I had it on dictate mode because I was about to say it out loud. And it just recorded this on my little text thing. F, F, F, F, F. Ben is Ben care. Fuck, I am leaving seeking derangements and I am not talking to either of you ever again I'll kill myself out of jealousy I swear to gosh

did you send that to your mom to your mother no thank God because she would actually be so worried and Jock you're a Libra Hessa you're an Aries I know yeah I'm an Aries guess what day Hesse was born on we talked about him earlier

are you March or April Aries I'm April are you like late what's your birthday I'm the last day I'm April 20th I was gonna say you're either early or late because you're giving me like way more relax than a typical area

like she's always chill also i think you're cool and stuff but i just want to point out a little fact hessa was born on the same day as hitler as hitler so um i don't know there might be something there you might want to look into your incarnation you're saying she's covertly a mad woman she's the i could say she's the hitler of my life for sure actually that's that's that's crazy because i have i think it's totally fair to say that well i have her saved in my phone as trans hitler so I mean, I don't know if that's... There's also that. Well, I think I slay more than Hitler. I don't know if Hitler could...

One slay is... That's probably the wrong choice. That could be an interpretive. Y'all please give me just the floor for one quick second so I can say this out loud. Hey, Mom, I'm recording the podcast right now with some very important people. Our guest is one of the most important people ever. Poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, like the exact birth time so that they can read my star chart on the podcast

this is a long text I'll talk to you later I can't tabulate it while we're it's not like any of us have the the ability to do a full scratch that you would have to look

it up Jacques actually here's the thing i do give chart readings like for real for real not being really but you have to i have to put it in the system to calculate it like i don't know math yeah yeah yeah my head you know yeah yeah well i'm gonna say this i was born on september 23rd and I'm a Libra Virgo cusp and almost every I would say about

80 to 85% of every person I've ever dated or fucked is a Virgo. I've had a lot of Aries in my life and Aries are supposed to be most compatible. No, to fuck, Kessa. We are not dating. Yeah, we've've but also friend areas

absolutely yeah um my moon is gemini and my rising is libra so i don't know what that means oh what does that mean what does that mean so well so it means that i don't want to say you lack an inner compass but it could be interpreted okay that here's what here's hold on here's the thing so you have two things going on that i know a lot about my ex is with the gemini moon who i was with for a decade and it usually does denote you know the moon represents our relationship with our mother and so it does denote like more of a friend vibe with the mom and then what that turns into socially is that like we don't always know how to choose like people that are good for us when the moon is in gemini because we can kind

of it's like it's air so you go with the wind right interesting and the moon changes every night so you kind of change with it so there's a lot i don't want to get too deep on here and like talk about emotional stuff but it's an interesting placement i'll leave it at that okay well one thing i do want to talk more about is um food i definitely want to get like top fast food rankings out of the way because I know Jock was really excited to do that as well. Wait, why do y'all associate me with food? Y'all think I'm a foodie? I don't. This is taking me by surprise.

It was something Jock wanted to talk about. I'm just reminding Jock that it's okay. Before we start another, before there's another grudge on harmless. I'm just joking. You can have Kara calling Jock after the show. I can't believe that fucking faggot talked about that to me. Look, I feel like Kara is. Jock would be so happy to get that call.

I know. I feel like the listeners, but Kara even more so than the listeners, is one of the only people in the world that would understand that the way that I eat. There we go. What are you holding up there? What's that? Just some coupons? I'm just going through my coupons in the mail.

That's fucking cool. That's so cool. We got Subway coupons. I love Subway. Hardee's, Arby's. Oh, I forgot about Hardee's. Yeah. Those ads with those whores that used to eat those hamburgers in the early 2000s, those were crazy.

Those were so cool. Do you remember those? Hardee's pissed me off because they used to be the shit in the South. Really? My pep ball would take me before school every morning. I'd get my Sprite and the gravy and biscuits. They sold the company to the Carl's Jr. company. Yes.

Or the restaurant. Just a whole different ingredient like every true tennessee girl will tell you it used to be the shit it's awful now wow really so just what lower quality ingredients and stuff that's the same thing happened in buffalo with uh tim hortons they sold it to Burger King and now it's horrible. It's so sad. It's a loss to the culture. My mom sold me to Seeking Derangements and ever since the quality of my work

has just gone so down because I'm owned by them. What work would that be? Shut the fuck up, bitch. Get the hell out of here. You stupid bitch. Jack, any regional fast food you want to tell Cara?

Is there Cane's where you are, Cara? That's Louisiana. No, I fucking wish. Cane's is so good. I love Cane's. Bro, I keep seeing people dip shit in that sauce and i want it so bad is that like a midwest food like where no it's it's from louisiana but it's in it's in the uh midwest there's it's all there's two locations in new york city they opened one in times square

and bushwick which is hilarious um but it's really good i love canes there's this there's this one there's this one in a suburb in colorado like outside of denver metro i want to say it's either arvada or um aurora but the line for this canes every single day at lunch and dinner is wrapped two to three times around the entire building, the drive-thru line, which is absolutely mind-boggling to get involved in. Yeah, that happened when they put a Chick-fil-A in Buffalo. It was every single day. You could never get it,

because it's like a million cars in the line. I fuck with Chick-fil-A. I like Chick-fil-A. I was going to say, is Chick-fil-A still like this lightning rod of controversy? Because I guess where i'm in okay because i want to know the coastal elite perspective then because as as a girl that's like just living in tennessee like we grew up with this in our malls like we're

all sat on sundays when it's closed because they're closed for sundays like everyone here trans or not um we all eat chick-fil-a and so we just pat ourselves on the back by saying there's no such thing as moral consumerism and we keep it pushing and we eat our chicken right but um you know and we also drink coffee but i just want to know is chick-fil-A really like that girl to y'all in the coastal world? So, no, I mean, from what I know, I do have one Chick-fil-A anecdote. But from like people I know in like the city, no, I don't think anyone really also really cares about Chick-fil-A. I haven't heard a single person be like, oh, you can't eat there. It's homophobic in my real life in New York. No, I've never heard it the one time i actually have heard it was

in um des moines iowa where these kind of like culture war kind of as you said like moral consumerism stuff does still have more of a grip on people i feel like the coasts have kind of like aged out of really caring about that um and it is kind of left to like older liberal flyover country people to really hold it down for like don't eat at chick-fil-a um but there was one time i was at a mall with an older woman who i'm friends with i've known her my whole life she's very liberal um and i was there with her daughter who i'm really close friends with and we were like oh like let's go get chick-fil-a and she was like i can't believe you guys eat at chick-fil-a she's like i thought young people just like wouldn't do that because i mean you're gay like why would you eat at chick-fil-a and i was

i was like kind of hung over and like didn't want to have this conversation so i was like oh yeah well china owns grinder and then i like walked away. And like, that makes no sense. Like at all. It makes absolutely no sense as a retort. But I just said that to her and she was just like so like stunned. She was like, okay. And I feel like that's the best way to deal with people who are on this kind of tip,

which is like, oh, you can't do this or you can't do that because she wanted you to be in. Guess what? A corporation is bad. So the best thing you can do is just kind of stun them with some completely like total random you know let me put my she wanted you to be in the throes of identitarianism but my thing is i don't ever want to i don't ever want to closely too closely identify with myself to the point where I'm denying my self-nourishment. It feels satanic.

I agree completely. As a Red Scare... It's a really neurotic way to live, I feel like. Yeah. As a Red Scare girly, I just never want to identify too closely with my transgenderism. Okay. Period. Ben knows about that. Because the people who identify i'm not trans listen the people who identify

too much with their identity are the ones who lose sight of their identity that's my point it's just like let's joke about it being trans is a funny thing and like i'll always joke about a bitch anything is funny like let's eat yeah absolutely yeah for sure for sure i used to be against cigarette smoking i used to frown jack is just getting mad who did drugs i used to be like super uptight and i was a hyper identitarian though he has he hates certain kinds of people on very very specific basis like cigarette smokers he looks down i don't look down at cigarette smokers you used to yeah because if i my dad look down on me daddy no look look my my dad's mom died of emphysema and she was hiding smoking cigarettes her entire life none of her children knew she smoked cigarettes which is i don't even understand how you that's a crazy thing

to get away with just smoke enough that you die of emphysema and no one knows that's yeah so second second thing really quickly i feel like they knew i used to be the opposite end of i used to be like oh my god you gotta be woke you gotta this that i used to be like, oh my god, you gotta be woke, you gotta this, that. I used to be so, that stupid identity polishing bullshit. To the point where back in the day, when Chick-fil-A- I think you should go back to being woke. No, no, no. I think it's hilarious. No, no, no.

When I, back in the day, I, this is the most funny thing I can ever say right now. I stood at the front of the beginning of the line at Chick-fil-A for hours, wearing a button-up see-through mesh rainbow shirt and with a sign saying end hate or like end end homophobia and i was i personally was really endearing honestly i was shouting at every single car begging them to not buy chick fil a because it could endanger gay people now and that was a waste of time and i didn't prevent anyone any gay people from getting hurt they were gonna get hurt either way so okay flash flash forward to my my like like maybe like a year or two ago or maybe three years ago, I'm living in Denver, Cara, and I love Chick-fil-A.

It's down the street from my house. It is so close. It's so easy to get. I decided to get some Chick-fil-A today. I get two large waffle fries. I get 12 or 16 nuggets, and I sliver down with some lemonade. 12 or 16 nuggets and i slivered down with some lemonade and you know i and i also at the same time was perusing grinder or sniffies and i decided talk to a guy eating is crazy while you eat is i'm gonna be i'm gonna be honest too because y'all um i don't even know if you were

on the show yet hessa but this was actually all happening before an episode of seeking drainage so i was trying to eat and suck dick before the recording i i okay i found i found a guy who was lived in my neighborhood oh this is a beautiful story so i so before going to meet up with this gentleman i basically just like just got a towel and wiped my face once and then maybe swished a little bit of mouthwash and left. If he was lucky. I'm sorry if I didn't.

But this is the pipeline to you being not woke, right? Yeah, well, no, it's not the pipeline, but just an example. This is just free association based around Chick-fil-A. So I start sucking the guy off care for about two or three minutes. He says, oh, my God, stop, stop, stop.

Something's really wrong. I pull my mouth up and his whole dick has turned bright red and is starting to swell up. And he's like, something's really wrong. And he goes, did you eat peanuts today? And I'm like, I had Chick-fil-A. It's all fried in peanut oil he's like oh my god i'm allergic uh oh my god i'm gonna have to wait jock but the redness of the dick is what inspired you to go republican right yeah the red symbolized to you well

it's time to put down the pride leotard the guy the guy started freaking out because he had to go call his boyfriend and tell his boyfriend that he was cheating and to so that call must have been insane because it's one i'm cheating on you two my dick is blowing up like a red snapper right now i'm having an allergic i'm about to die and if you don't get here this guy keeps talking about how he's republican now yeah what he's talking about oh no no this guy keeps talking about how he's Republican now. What he's talking about. He's talking about getting woke out of school. I said, I said, I said, okay, that sucks, but is your boyfriend coming? And he said, yes. And then I ran

out of that house. Like, I was like, I'm done. This is fine. So did he do you know if this guy lived? Was he saved? I don't know. I never checked it. We exchanged People die from peanut allergy look we exchange statuses and objectives and then we were like let's let me suck you his objective to get his dick blown up by your like like like like like what's your what's your sti status okay that's good and then can i suck your

dick uh it's good okay so crazy to like this okay kind of i'd rather know your sri status if you get with me baby period but can i i'm clean i'm clean off those i want to coast on you though jock because maybe we're soulmates because Because I used to be super woke too. I'd go to all the marches. And I said that, you know, Bernie bros were everything that's wrong with this country. Because I was like Queen Hillary. I was on my Queen Hillary shit. Okay?

Like fully 2016. If I even met a Bernie bro, I was like, y'all are the problem. Like I was, you know. Racist. CNN. No, I didn't think that. I just thought that they thought they were more progressive than they were i was like so not with it but yeah um then i discovered dasha and then red scare and it was like the greatest thing well here's what happened like this is true t you, not even being funny, right? I got blackout drunk, and this was during my porn era, because I had a whole porn renaissance, okay? Wait, what was your porn?

I was number one subscribed on OnlyFans. What the hell? Number two most searched gay porn artist on Pornhub for four years. I didn't know this until I mentioned your name to someone and they were like, oh my god, the famous porn star? And I was like, I am. I didn't even know. But here's why I mentioned that.

So I got blackout drunk at the height of my lived out CNN brain. Blackout drunk. Picture, I'm like doing great on Only fans i'm super you know blm with it i'm like one of the girls i get wasted and i admitted in a video not only that i had customers who would request race play videos of me but i also that same week got drunk in another video. And I called everyone retarded. And I was like, y'all are fucking retarded. So all the woke gay, like, out magazine,

like they were all eating me alive. And I was like, wait, y'all, I've been standing with y'all this whole time. So for me, it was a lesson. Not only do they eat their own, but it's the whole snake eating its own tail, which I didn't realize if I'm contributing and trying to gain an audience that will eat me alive and hang me, you know, like a witch back in the day. The minute I have an impropriety, then I'm completely invested in the wrong audience. So when I discovered the Red Scare scare girls i'm not being funny it really i was almost suicidal at that time because i was like oh my god everyone thinks i'm a horrible person because i said retard and admitted that some men like race play request videos for me at dm so i wanted to die and then when i found red scare i was like oh they openly say the r word in like a way that you understand is not them being hateful so it really it really opened my eyes to a lot of things

so and then i found y'all and perfume nationalists and it's kind of it's kind of interesting because i i do know like a validly like a quote-unquote anti-woke people and there's a pretty common thread in all their backgrounds where people who were woke you know quote-unquote themselves for quite a long time um it's interesting because like it's it's a lot of people kind of converting to another side well i think being woke is well intentioned i think the problem though in the beginning but the problem is the longer you're in it it is like a cold and you make one misstep they're ready to throw you in the fire and i'm like well listen i'm getting i think i i felt the same way kind of tribalism and that kind of you know burning people spitting

people for not you know acting in line however you might want to say it, I think that's true for many, many kind of niche cultures. I mean, it happens no matter what your fixed politics is. I agree. Or even if you have fixed politics. But it happens the most. I don't have data on that. I don't know if it happens the most.

I mean, I genuinely don't have data on that. I don't know if it happens the most. I mean, I genuinely don't know. I just mean to say that this kind of, this is not a feature of only woke circles. It happens all over and has been happening for a very long time. It's just, you know, grouping. It's just how people work. I just want to tag along exactly about what Kara was talking about. It's like in that moment,

I was in a dark place before I found Seeking Derangements and I felt like I was stuck in a place where I couldn't express myself fully without being reprimanded or disregarded or disrespected and now I'm in a spot where I have

people who are willing to listen and hear my ideas and I don't have to filter myself through the lens of what I think the world's morals, like, you know, and that you just never really had to, I guess what I mean to say,

it's like, you know, like, I don't know. It, it, it, I think in certain ways you kind of manifest anxieties about what you can

and can't say, but you know, if you just say it and say it confidently, it's, you're going to be okay. There's also just so much freedom in being authentically yourself in the way that you just live free.

I don't think that kind of placement is either on the side of woke or anti-woke. To me, those things are too kind of... It's like an evaluative stance. I truly don't even consider anymore. Well, to your point it's like an evaluative stance i just i i truly like don't even consider anymore yeah well to your point ben yeah it it taught me that i was doing some of those same

tactics to people when i was super lived in cnn brains i was like oh like i was i guess actively dehumanizing people that i was like oh you like trump and then i realized some of them have the best dick there is they sling it so hardcore they have the best pubic hair they have the best pubic hair texture you seem to like pubic hair a lot is that a point of well it's a litmus test for um you know i'm really big on like the texture of the pubes i'm like oh wow like really great i you know i love it what's the best texture yeah i need to well though okay some people do not grow like the inner thigh hair the way i like and when it's only growing like at the top jock literally is looking at his thighs he's checking his thighs yeah jock is that checking there's just an elitism there's an

elitism to certain pubic hair growth and i just know it i just it's when you see it you know it yeah yeah i think you're gonna like mine i just took a look there we go um okay flash on the camera yeah um crotch but um yeah i i just very quickly to end this little discussion of I think it's very freeing to be yourself without having to apologize. And in some ways. And just say Ann Coulter is my mother. Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

A lot of people didn't know that. That's where you get your beautiful blonde hair. Right. OK. So I want to I want to go back. Right. Okay. So I want to go back. You said that when you had clients, I know you said you've done porn before. I found out today earlier from a conversation, you said you also used to be a phone sex line. Oh, okay. You're a patron. Yes, it's an extracurricular activity. You know, being trans in the South, sometimes

you don't want to have to deal with the whole situation of like actively. I'm a top, so it's very confusing for me because the kind of men that are attracted to me are very Southern, rural men. They don't always want to take it up the ass. So for me to be able to be an avatar and be anything i want to be on the phone sex line i get to call and be like

hi y'all uh my wife's upstairs i'm just down here hitting the poppers laid back stroking it is so fucking freeing for me you know and i'm jealous of autogonophiles and hessa i don't know if you said you were too on one episode but i've already said something similar to that i'm really jealous i don't remember it you're jealous of april no i have a separation of church and state right like my sexual persona is very different from like how i feel cozy talking with you right now in the bedroom i like to get down with a good dog and you know because i'm a woman of fag experience so it's like if you've lived most of your life having gay sex and being a top and being dominant in the bedroom but that's always

been a through line because my femininity confuses people until I'm in the bedroom. So phone sex lines let me just like not have to deal with these preconceived notions and just like role play. Everyone on there thinks I'm a daddy. It's so fun. Okay. No, that is. Because the autogynephiles, they're like getting off on like being women and having boobs. I can't find anything sexy about me having boobs i'm not into women like that like i feel comfortable if someone thinks i'm sexy a man or whatever but i

can't like get off to myself that's not my thing but i do see old photos of myself when i did gay porn i'm like damn i would fuck that ass you know So I have like the inverse of autogonafile where I'm like, I wish I could fuck my gay self, my former self, you know? I want that twink obliterated. Right. Yeah. Well, I wasn't really giving twink towards the end.

I was giving like hairy pussy fat bitch, you know? So, yeah. And so, yeah, what was I saying? I love phone sex. Yeah. Okay, I felt so similar when you were just saying like you were a a fag experience and you were a top in your fag experience and people were confused by your femininity in the bedroom or it but leading up to the bedroom same yeah same same same it's different for me but like i feel like now i'm trying to fuck women and women are like well you used to fuck men and you're kind of feminine i don't know if you actually want to fuck me you don't read as

feminine to me yeah i but this has been a complaint from people that were like I was like oh I'm not like masculine enough to be the role of a like where they leave in these complaints like the sexual yelp reddit like where no just like someone that broke up with me once was like look you're just you have too much of a you're not man enough for me um you need someone that knows how to fetishize you jock in the right way that's i mean because you give very much mario mario kart team he does kind of have a mario vibe yeah you just need someone that knows how to fetishize you yeah i mean i i think i've found quite a few actually so i mean i I mean, I'm doing better. I just, I love being, you know, I might complain about it publicly sometimes,

but I do actually sometimes love being objectified, sexualized, and fetishized. Not shocking. I love the attention. I mean, someone please affirm me. I think we got to wrap it up right now. But, Kara, do you have any final words for our listeners I just want to say that I

support the liberation of women from having to identify as women or anything period that's a beautiful message Kara thank you so much thank you Kara

don't leave the chat yet because your video has to A beautiful message. Kara, thank you so much. Thank you, Kara. Thank you so much. Thank you for having me. Don't leave the chat yet because your video has to upload for a little bit once they stop recording. Yeah, let's stop recording. Hang on.

All right. Thank you. Bye.