Seeking Derangements - SD 302 - Reunion Episode

Episode Date: March 31, 2024

Happy easter :) super producer Max joins us to continue our 300+ episode celebration, we talk about the ongoing P Diddy scandal, pink coke, and Jacques tells us about more about Portland. We love!

🎵 We're getting lots of feedback about how little you know about porn. Welcome everyone to a free episode of Derangements. Just a reminder before we start that we like this episode. We have bonus episodes weekly on our Patreon. And, you know, we're still celebrating making it past 300, Mark. We're at episode 301. I am remembering the episode numbers now. It's incredibly easy to do that because we've restarted at an even number.

But to do that, Max is back with us, founding member of the show. I thought I was seeing a ghost. The co-founder of the show, Max, is back with us. Jock is very scared. I thought I saw a phantom, but it's just a pedophile. The Latino pedophile Max is back.

I'm wearing a full-on zoot suit and pocket watch with a cold chain. And sunglasses like one of those coquette sunglasses. You know what the cat is? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You did always kind of have like a noir detective jazzy kind of feel to you, Max. Yeah. I'll give you that one. So does Hester. I do. Yeah, you definitely do. Calling me Reddit.

Both of you bitches are some detective headass Dick Tracy motherfuckers. We're also joined by one other guest. I'm Detective Carplay at your service. We're joined by one other guest, right, Ben? We're also joined by one other guest. I'm Detective Carplay at your service. We're joined by one other guest, right, Ben? We're joined by our Israeli friend, Yahoo Sports.

I asked Jock if he had any topics he wanted to talk about today, if he familiarized himself with what I pitched. And he went to YahooSports.com and started reading off a bunch of articles and i was like that's amazing that is people would love to hear that well we were gonna we were gonna it sounds like an israeli israeli guy's name well first of all the israeli guy's name is yahweh sports yahweh sports is legit i think that's one of the only names they can't do is that another religious misconception what do you think what do you have what do you think i'm curious but can you walk us through what your

it's not much it's really not much that I've been thinking these days, especially in Portland where I keep stuffing croissant breakfast sandwiches down my mouth every moment. Do you want to take a breath? It sounds like you're dying. He's struggling. Yeah. He's fighting that dab, you guys.

He's fighting the dab's winning. I was thinking that Yahweh Sports would be like the Dallas Cowboys training ground in some insane suburb in Texas. It's all funded by the Osteen family. Yeah, crap. Joel's a nice guy.

Jack, do you need some water? Joel Osteen? It's okay. Not that bad. You can take a break if you need that butane is ripping a bunch of shredding his throat finally look look look i'm sorry i'm sorry but i'm a little bit freak mode right now i um i had a lot of needles inside of me today um um i had my first acupuncture i had my first acupuncture session of my life

that's the most attention-seeking way to talk about getting acupuncture sorry i've been full of needles recently sorry y'all i keep falling on beds and needles i've been poked and brought it i've been y'all know i was all could imagine well it was great but if if if you could imagine or if you y'all know me i don't sit still well yes and this does not work well with this not work well with the acupuncture unit they stuck them in my ears inside inside my ear, and into my ear, in the side of my head, in my arms, in my feet, in my legs. And I had a moment where I accidentally hit one

because I just started to try to relax in this weird chair at the community center of the acupuncture. Those poor Thai ladies leaving the room like they were just attacked by the acupuncture. Those poor Thai ladies leaving the room looking like they were just attacked by a porcupine. All of the needles fly out of Jock's body and spear them. This must be like

when they take some mob enforcer who's been shot to a veterinarian. They're like, get this bullet out of my boy guido these poor acupuncturist ladies are like freaking out like oh my god i wasn't fucking trained for this i wasn't trained to work on a badger first of all this is the portland community acupuncture center okay so they were trained to work on bitches named Badger, but not on actual Badger. Yeah, exactly. Period.

They were not Thai, but I mean, they were very good at it. I'm not maybe men. They would not die when I tried to give them their own acupuncture. Well, look, y'all, I tried to give them a taste of their own medicine. I flinched up, and I accidentally moved, and I got the needles kind of crossed and i got them stuck like it was not great what was happening getting needles crossed up your penis your balls on the ones on my so first first i did like i tilted my head to the right on accident and i shoved the needles in the wrong way and i made my ear bleed it was amazing nice um then then then i accidentally then i then i had a shiver job of a weird feeling and so the the need i kind of i

kind of smushed ones with my thighs and my ankles and it got stuck it was not good um it was a little did any of the did any of the attending acupuncturist did they what do you think they were thinking they were were they did they give off vibes like jade he's blood green like okay look y'all they kept they kept they they kept looking at my eyes from across the room and walking up and being like are are you okay yeah and i'm like yeah no i'm fine i'm just a little bit uncomfortable yeah because i'm scared they were definitely incredibly scared of you yeah no go ahead it was better it was better than than IV needles like shooting up stuff

but um it was not like it was still it was too much but I loved it Jacques but I

that imagery I'm just thinking of you like in one of those entomology or whatever like boxes where they keep a bunch of bugs with like pin cushions or like pins

stuck in the yeah like particle board yeah that's how I imagine Jacques just like arms boxes where they keep a bunch of bugs with pin cushions or pins stuck in the... Particle board. Yeah, that's how I imagine Jacques, just like arms all out. Feebly moving his appendages. I have a logistical question. The reason they were asking if you

were okay, Jacques, is because when you're laying down getting acupuncture, you're not supposed to be just staring at someone across the room. but when you're laying down getting acupuncture, you're not supposed to be like thrashing around, staring at someone across the room. I left my phone in the car and so I had nothing to do. And I felt like I was in a, yeah,

your ADHD would go haywire. If you can, it felt like, it felt like three hours had gone by and they were just like, are you okay? Are you sure? And I was like, and then okay wait

then then something else weird has started happening the some of the needles started shooting out of my body like they were like my body rejected them and pushed them out how fast how fast did they fly out of your body i saw i saw i look I saw I saw I saw I saw I saw I saw I saw I saw I'm using I'm using a lighter y'all one went one

one on my ankle went like this boop that's crazy it just it just and I was like oh shit

you clearly I mean I'm not surprised you carry a lot of tension in your body I know that for the listeners

Jacques just held up a lighter and threw it at a quite large percentage of the speed of light. Most of Portland is now rubble. It was like a hadron collider. Look, look, look.

In conclusion, I would recommend it because I do feel like overall it gave me some kind of something. And it's worth the experience. No, explain. Explain how you feel. You're not going to get off with saying it made you feel some kind of something i'm here i'm genuinely curious if this is because if this works i'm paying for your acupuncture if this makes you a more serene person i would want to try it again but i mean i i do think that the the tension they put one in your brain

shut the hell no i'm just genuinely curious did they put any in your head did they did they put one in your brain shut the hell no i'm just genuinely curious did they put any in your head did they did they put an ice pick up your nose you you lobotomize little limp biscuit they go through your eye okay well that's when that's egyptians removing the brain yeah that's that's what you're thinking you're thinking of the brain i don't think i think i know what i'm talking about so why don't you two shut the fuck up do you think they ever fucked the pharaoh in the nose like after it was done they already opened it, the cavity

I hope not, they'd be so well fucked up you get to take whatever is in your tomb with you to the other side so that's why, that's what the first cum dumps no loads refuse cum dumps were that's why they call it cum that's why they call it giving head by the way if I had to

the ancient Egyptian practice of giving head final review on the acupuncture we gotta tell Joe Rogan about that Joe Rogan being like the Egyptians invented a head Chris can you look that up real quick

final review on the acupuncture is that it i felt so tense from being pierced and prodded i was supposed to relax afterwards i felt so relaxed plus it just has to have some kind of medicinal it's so bad it has to be good for you. Eastern medicine might be the way with you, actually. Yeah. Speaking of Joe Rogan. But there was a better medicine I tried last night for the first time. Oh, yeah. Jacques is getting fear factored.

I had a lot of firsts in Portland. Okay. What are the other firsts? Last night was the first time I went to a strip club as a customer. We talked about that last episode. Oh, as a customer. as a customer we talked about that last episode oh as a customer we did not talk we have never once talked about that on any episode we literally talked about portland strip club's last episode we did not talk about i okay first of all i said that i briefly

went to another club but no because we were only they okay we went to the strip club that the girl that i'm staying with works at and she had to pick up a lot she had to pick up I don't want to know what's going on there wait stripper's screaming out I'm sorry I just got acupuncture some of the needles they forgot

she's a bartender at the strip club first of all and second of all I just got off the plane and the first thing i had to do when i landed in portland was go with her to her strip club so she could pick up a bag of meat that's amazing from rick okay yummy well speaking of guys speaking of guys who are on planes to mysterious locations um diddy recently fled the country after getting his, I think, three homes raided by the federal government.

He went to, like, Antigua or something. But it doesn't make any sense because... Hell yes, dude. It's hilarious, but, like, they have extradition treaties with the United States. Like, it's not...

He went to the wrong island. He went to the wrong island. I mean, I don't know. Is Antigua a country or island in mexico or what what do you think it's like a little north of venezuela but yeah it's it's um it doesn't have any extradition treaties with the states but it has extradition treaties with the states but it's also like 90 miles away it's like as close to q or to venezuela as cuba is to florida wait do you think he was like planning to jump to cuba dude yes que lo que era p diddy

that would have been a oh my god imagine if he starts like a reggaeton movement holy shit dude yes it's fast and furious the one movie where it's where he's in cuba at the beginning but it's him versus p diddy yeah racing yeah or when hannibal lector escapes i would love it or whatever yes he's like i'm having an old friend for dinner he's wearing the same white suit he's walking behind a twinkie absolutely in cuba absolutely canceled reggaeton is going to become the new hottest genre of music since hyper pop that's a big i mean he wouldn't be the first one to go to venezuela for the like underage boy pussy like that's notoriously

why a lot of like european gay guys go there's um like especially in spain like i would hear a lot about like my venezuelan friends in the in the scene would be like oh yeah no like we love that boy pussy well no like my venezuelan like expat friends like living in spain would be like uh yeah no like i i always see like old spanish people as motherfuckers like not because of what they did like not because of colonialism or whatever but because i see them at the club in venezuela and caracas like trying to hit up you know 16 year olds yeah yeah on a child like mal some mal like a twink that's a twink because he's malnourished yeah not a stunted man exactly exactly yeah not a guy who just has a calorie intake by necessity so the nerd is gonna be in seventh heaven there oh my god he's gonna love it

but it's it's so crazy like the footage of his houses being raided was like it was so intense and it seemed like it happened much like much more quickly than i would have imagined because there was you know all that talk about i don't know with some charges but it was immediate the response to it continues to be hilarious to me because it's just like none of it is like, oh, P. Diddy is participating in horrible forms of sex trafficking or maybe even pedophilia or whatever. It's like, is Diddy gay? It's just like, Diddy's been gay. We've been saying this. Some of the allegations are like, I knew he was bi.

And it's like, people are alleging cannibalism he should do the kevin spacey and be like it's true i've been a gay man for some time come out as gay yeah it's true i'm dl yeah i forgot about that video of him saying the tongue in cheek him coming out as gay but um the the video have you guys seen the video of him um getting cornered by police and killing three of them with a bad dragon dildo Kevin Spacey

did he got away with that all the tweets are so funny these guys being like they hit Diddy with a free co-charge free co-charge no no stop it's so funny he would have expected kanye like i would have expected kanye to come out first yeah absolutely no no no my my man kanye is straight so don't don't try to hit him with that fat shit. Kanye strikes me as really asexual. Sweet shit. Before you start calling Kanye a gay,

why don't you check yourself? Sweet, sweet palma sugar in the tank. Sugar in the tank. We're gay men. That's why they call you sweet gay men. Jacques was trying to think that, but said it out loud.

It was trying to wish it upon you. Christ almighty. I mean, calling me gay is silent. That is such a 1930s fucking expression. My God. It's pretty good.

Look, if y'all could see his Max has some dumbass coif today with some fat glasses and a tiny pedophile mustache. You're so rude for no reason. I have hair. I'm not even rude.

You can't style your hair. Whoa, whoa, whoa. First of all, I'm not jealous. I have a beautiful thick mustache. Max, for the record, I think your hair looks good and your mustache. I think it it looks amazing yeah max i think that your eyes look smaller than before and that's because i don't know what happened incredibly stoned on a marriage juana bitch i will i will give you i'll give you you can't hear it because i mute my fucking mic when i cough thank you i'll give you i'll give you one interesting one compliment you what you look

less pudgy than uh when i last saw you last episode jock the jock kept um demanding that he wasn't autistic and i was trying to tell him that he's really bad at knowing how to speak to people um and doesn't really know how to how to show that he's joking or ribbing someone he will just straight up insult someone i think we got him to admit that he's autistic by rabbit season duck seasoning him yeah right yes yes okay i'm more autistic than you hang on hang on not gender mind tricks shut up but anyways back to diddy it's it's crazy because he is it's shaping up to just literally be the black epstein and it's it just goes to show that almost all of the entertainment industry is built on a bedrock of sexual exploitation and blackmail

okay but secrecy you can't call him the black Epstein, because at least P. Diddy did something with his pedophile energy, right? That is true. He did make a lot of music. Yeah, like, shit. Yeah. Can I say something? I don't know. Has Diddy even been convicted? Has Diddy even

been convicted or proven guilty yet? Okay, so this is interesting. Jacques is about to become the Diddy defender. He's innocent. Jacques, give us the case. No, walk us through why Diddy didn't pass it. It's important to hear all sides. This is all alleged.

This is all alleged. They don't have any evidence. Can I just say something? The government might just be going after a powerful black man. Can I just say something, please? Yeah. In America, you are innocent until proven guilty. And that's what I've heard before.

And I'm not about to break the rules. So what do you think about Diddy? Do you think he... Do you... Well, okay. I think a guy who wears sunglasses that often is definitely suspicious. Okay. But I don't think that proves...

Do you think he's high? I think he could be... Do you think he's dabbing? Often is definitely suspicious. Okay. But I don't think that proves. Do you think he's high? I think he's dabbing. I don't know if that's in the cards for him. But I just don't think he could handle that. But also, okay, I'm going to tell you something. That when you watch the videos of when they're raiding his home and he is pacing outside yeah as well as the videos of him pacing in antigua around he looks like relatively calm like for someone that's going through like you're doing you're doing a body language expert reading on him. It's because he's P. Diddy, dude. He's P. fucking Diddy.

Well, look, this is my thing. If he's not on the horn being like, I'm innocent, or he's not even really... It doesn't seem like he's up in arms about it, really. So he seems pretty calm. So I don't know how... He did flee the country oh well i mean i thought i thought i think it's already out of his system at this point

yeah also it's been a couple of days now i think it would be out of his system now do you do if y'all were going to be arrested for uh not maybe not similar crimes but the same i would flee the country for a misdemeanor i would uh yeah i've done it before and i will do it again it's just a fun thing i would do it for to get out of a traffic ticket yeah absolutely well but speaking about pity p diddy doing dabs he uh pity it really recently came out that he was it seems somewhat addicted to uh to see from uh yeah what is documents here so some court documents here can we confirm let me go let me go just so from some from some court documents here plaintiff and the co in the combs rico enterprise were resharing something um something in the west

of all in virginia it's a festival that they were doing so plaintiff jones personally witnessed mr cones flew lines of coke in his dressing room. Defendant Sean Cone wanted to see and Brendan forgot it. So defended Christina Coram called young Miami who brought some to see on a jet from Miami. So he was like

in, you know, somewhere north and like was like, I need some to see right now. And this baddie named young Miami had to fly some to him. Okay, so i need some to see right now and this baddie named young miami had to fly some to him okay so it's pronounced to see i thought it was a tussy no it's pronounced i gotta get that i gotta suck on some of that tussy because it's juicy because twink bussy it was it was um max maybe you could help me yeah but it was as far as i know popular it seems like it was popularized in spain um it's it's huge in europe like in the club scene like wherever you go like

you're more likely to see this than coke yeah because coke has gotten really expensive to get in europe and it's not really worth it now because like it's super it's more stepped on than the shit you get in new york for sure yeah so um they've turned to shit like 2C-B, which it's a little different. It's more like a psychedelic, but its effect, its body high, feels like cocaine mixed with molly. Which is really where you want to go anyway. Cocaine and molly is crazy.

I shouldn't... It is an incredibly gay thing to do. As someone who has maybe once or twice done a little bit of molly with a little bit of Molly with a little bit of coke it's only gay guys I know do it

every time every time I allegedly have done it I always get sleepy I'm always like this is maybe too much well you're not a gay guy see

I'm not a gay guy that's it it is it is really intense when you read the the trip reports on Arrowhead I've never done 2CB I mean for when it sounds like

it sounds lovely on paper but you read the oh it's 2C-B. It sounds like it sounds lovely on paper, but you read the trip reports on 2C-B. And in Spain, they call it 2C-D. Yeah, that's why it was spelled T-U-S-I on the thing. So, I've done

2C-B twice, but I've done 2C-I a bunch. I didn't know there was a whole 2C drug family. I've actually done 3C-B, but I've done 4C-B. I've done 4C-C.

I've done Infinite CB. I've done Infinity CB. So there's 2C-B, 2C-I, and 2C-E, but it's also called 7-Up, Nexus, 7th 2C-I, and 2C-E, but it's also called 7-Up, Nexus, 7th Heaven, T7, and Tripstacy.

That sounds very Louisiana to me. Sounds like a Psy Trance album from 1986. It says how you might feel. Awake, alert, affectionate, and or distorted sense of reality and hallucinations

yeah it turns you into a real piece of shit whenever you get a negative input whenever you get a negative input on 2CB like it really fucks up your high like any minor inconvenience will instantly ruin your entire world on 2CB like it really sucks

that is the one drop. Oh my god, don't. Someone started talking to me when I was on 2CB around the bonfire and it set me off into a bad trip. They were like, hello? And you were like, fuck you! Oh, fuck you!

He grabbed a log out of the bonfire and hit him over the head with it. Fuck you! Pushed him into the fire well i do think diddy's 2c um proclivities his seeming addiction to it is more mounting evidence and the diddy is gay case because i think about 2c as this has been confirmed the 2c he was doing is that it's pink cocaine i was reading into a little bit and i was from this article here,

it's so funny because I didn't know this element. Let me read this to you. So it's, they add, a gram of MDMA costs 40 euros, sometimes a little less. Ketamine is around 25 to 35.

And caffeine powder can be purchased online fairly cheaply. 25 to 35? Yeah. That's pretty low. 25 to 35? Yeah. That's pretty low. You're like, hello. You take a little bit of each. They talk to 2C dealers,

and this is what they were doing. You take a little bit of each, mix them, add pink coloring and a little strawberry smell, and voila, you can sell it for 100 euros. It's cheaper and safer than the substances to get the substances and mix them yourself. So they're adding color. Sorry, he's doing a poor person drug. Yeah, one, it's a and safer than the substances to get the substances and mix them yourself so they're adding sorry he's doing a poor person drug there yeah it's a one it's a poor person drug because it's just yeah it's just ketamine from this one article they test it and stuff and it's

ketamine it's some kind of amphetamine speed maybe coke i don't know and then um uh caffeine powder but the funniest thing is they're adding coloring and fragrance to this so it's so gay to do pink cocaine and then it's even gayer to be like it smells like strawberry yeah that is nuts and like i can't imagine the hangover you must get from ingesting strawberry fragrance and like pink dye number 72 or something yeah oh you're getting a the next day yeah you're pooping is all over the place

shit I would be doing a disservice to everyone if I did not mention yeah the uh tiktok rapper sensation pretty pink cocaine which is the first time i had to ever google what pink cocaine was and if you do if you're unfamiliar with who pretty pink cocaine is she's kind of like Bad Bobby, that rapper girl, mixed with Whoa Vicky and Little Debbie. I don't know any of these people. You're Aunt Debbie? I know Aunt Debbie.

Aunt Debbie? She's kind of like Aunt Debbie mixed with Whoa Vicky. Look, look, look. Sounds amazing. She has braces, and she's like, ugh. She's just the worst but in a good way we love you queen

what do you guys think did he confirm gay I think look in my America we're rating every bisexual man's home the way his house was rated to get to the bottom of what is going on

are they gay, are they straight it's gotta be one or the other and the federal government will be raiding your house to find out yes, and if there's any pink if there's 2C gay you're gay

dangly earrings you're sent to ADX Florence you're getting thrown in a hole for adx florence oh i'm going to italy yeah i mean we'll see yeah i would it would have been insane had he just straight up fled the country i think he's back in miami now no he'd be stupid to come back come on i think he's back in Miami now. No, he'd be stupid to come back. I think he might be back in Miami. He's going to a party.

He wanted to go to a party. I think like most gay guys, he couldn't stay in one place too long because there was a better party happening across the country. Yeah, just any gay fugitive you can catch by throwing a little mystery white powder and OnlyFans like. Yeah. Superstar there. It's got to be pink with P. Diddy, but you know. So funny.

Pink Diddy. You gotta find a powder. Yeah. Yeah. I don't. I mean, I haven't been reading about what the actual allegations are. I will say I totally believe all of them. It does just seem to be.

I will say I totally believe all of them. It does just seem to be like he's just trading sexual favors for access and you know, exposure or whatever it may be. I also saw something about blackmail

like very similar to what Epstein was doing. He was taking videos. One of the things I saw was that a lot for a lot of these like victims it was like they did they did it with someone else at diddy's like direction yeah he wasn't the one doing but he was like the ringmaster so maybe his penis doesn't work or he just maybe he likes detective work maybe he likes to watch. Interesting detective work. Maybe he likes to watch. Who knows?

I can see him being like... I think he probably addressed being the puppet master. The producer. Producing some gay sex tonight. Call me when there's a puppet master. Okay? Call me, baby. Period. Period.

I think we can safely say that Diddy is the MC the suck MC of the week absolutely yeah Diddy

he's also the sucker more than a sucker yeah let's Max can we drop in some gunshot sounds

and some arrow work I forgot to bring the work to do he's not gonna he's not gonna do it I see that look in his damn face his eyes got work to do. He's not going to do it. He ain't doing that shit.

I see that look in his damn face. His eyes got tinier. Comment in the... Yeah, put a comment if you think I do. Yeah, guys, audit this episode and let us know if Max had any sound effects. I quit. It's been nice knowing all of you.

You know what? You're fired. Leave a comment below if you think you have Max as the smallest eyes on the podcast. Leave a like if you think I'm beautiful and sexy. You'd love to pull me apart like a Thanksgiving turkey. Do not leave a like if you

think Max is beautiful and sexy. Leave a comment that says you think Jacques is sexy and if you don't leave a comment that you think Jacques is sexy. sexy leave leave a comment that says you think jacques is sexy and if you don't leave a comment that you think jacques i'm just gonna disable comments if you if you're going to comment if you're going to comment and say that jacques is sexy you have to say that you'd like to pull them apart like a like a popeye's biscuit yeah or that or that are some um a 24-hour cooked pork pull apart pork that's a good pull me apart and take it out you ever see how i wouldn't mind you see the the reels about uh

or where they the chef takes out the fucking ribs you know and he's like fucking the the rib hole with the bone yes i hate that that is straight up pornographic can you DM me that right now sure speaking of other videos did you see that video or did either of you guys see that video of the Amy Winehouse trailer

I did and it's a fucking travesty it looks incredible it has the same affect as that um musical about the beatles do you remember what i'm talking about no one or whatever our universe across the universe across it has the same how is that a point of reference for you like an indie movie this is very like this is the only recent one that happened. Across the Universe, not indie

movie. But like aesthetically, it was very like kind of like indie, like kind of twee. It's like a Les Mis thing where they're singing in normal scenes where they're just talking and they're singing instead of talking. Yes. I don't think they're doing that at Nighty Night House.

Congratulations, Amy. You've been signed yes i don't think they're doing that it's not what they're doing congratulations you've been signed to our it just does okay okay there's nothing okay when you're watching the trailer you are right though it is like another movie that's also been made about musicians you're totally right yes okay okay okay it just has the the pop sensibility of like a really cheap like mass produced like poorly it looks it looks like one of those videos that you would see on tiktok that has um that's playing at like four times speed and there's an ai voice um just

walking you through what is happening in the movie this woman thought she was going to strike it big with a huge at-record deal. Yes. It looks like bad. It looks like one of those movies. Her father and mother were happy. She started drinking. Oh, no.

The girl would not stop drinking. The girl became very skinny because of the drinking. And all she would do was drink. And then she died. It's like, that really is the feel of the movie. Like, that really is the feel of the movie. But it's... Well, it just... It's also funny because it genuinely also feels like something that's been directly ripped out of the page of a 30 Rock episode.

It's very Jackie Drum Jump. Because I don't know who any of these people acting in this are. And it should be a movie that could have been well-made. Having anyone being a known A-listlist actor i don't know who any of these people are it's just very depressing because i feel like i feel like amy winehouse uh drank herself to death because she saw this as a premonition or something like she was genuinely afraid or she knew in some way that this is what was going to happen to her and she was like i am gonna you know i'm gonna drink my my liver upside down

who would you want to see cast as amy winehouse uh hessa instead of lady gaga lady gaga would absolutely do it she looks like a kenny valley you know. Kathy Bates would be really good. Kathy Bates would be amazing. Kathy Bates with that big beehive would be so cute. Ellen DeGeneres. Not Ellen. Ellen DeGeneres. Ellen DeGeneres. Ellen DeGeneres.

Oh, okay. With hops and contacts. Kristen Stewart. My question is, they finished filming Maestro. They couldn't have used that nose, brought it over to the Amy set, popped it on Amy. Yeah. Did she have a big nose? They should have made it like an Oppenheimer type movie.

Like very high high brow. Christopher Nolan Amy Winehouse movie. They already made that movie. It's called Blonde. They made it. Is Winehouse a Jewish last name? Yeah, she's Jewish.

Oi. Oi. She's Jewish. Oi. Oi. Yeah, well, that's... Yeah, she's Jewish. That's why I can't be... Why not? She is a... She's a UK-JS.

Our Persian blue-eyed friend. Well, that's why I can't be... Yeah. I, for the longest time, thought that she was... It's just, like, there were so many, like, singers in the

early to mid-2000s that, as, like, a child, I was just like, oh, I... She's she's like one of the most light-skinned black people to have ever existed like i thought i thought that she's the same type of thing as like alexander mcqueen i think or she's got the same yeah or like mariah carey alexander mcqueen alex mariah carey who's like a quarter black. No, Alexander McQueen. Wait, wait, wait. Mariah Carey is not only a quarter black.

I feel like she's half black. She's Panamanian, and her mother is full Irish. And I think her dad is like half Panamanian. Like Panamonian? Diana's going to yell at me for this. Panama's? What?

Yes. Like the country Panama where else would that be where else would Panamanians be from Panama City Florida I guess that is true you got me there they're from the fucking south

man where else would they be from no but like same thing with Vin Diesel Vin Diesel also looks like he's the like whitest black guy to ever exist. This is a huge thing in the early 2000s. I thought he was Latino. I don't think any of them were. The amount of times I've googled Vin Diesel ethnicity

and he's incredibly cagey on it. I think he's like Puerto Rican. Oh my god, he's about as cagey and embarrassed about his actual ethnicity as you. I speak about my actual ethnicity maybe too much, but... This girl in New Orleans challenged Ben.

Nigerian. He's Nigerian, yeah, absolutely. He's Igbo. I'm from the Sudan. Ben got accused in New Orleans of being a white gay, and he spat back in the Spaniard. Who accused me of being... Oh, I'm friends with that.

She was joking. Again, this is another example of you being autistic and not knowing when people are joking. It's not an autistic. This is one time

it was serious. First of all, I called her a difficult... She was being a difficult lesbian. Yeah. No, she... No, it's for...

You looked her up and down and said, you seem like a difficult woman. We were... We were flirting with each other. Okay, very weird perception, but let's continue with the story. You don't know what you're talking about.

And I know exactly what I'm talking about. So then she turned and looked at Ben and said, you white gays always act some type of way. And then Ben was like, he said, like, talking in spanish it's also not it'd be so funny if a woman accused quote-unquote accused me of being white even though i am white and then i started speaking arabic to her and then ben turned to her and said said the shot. And then Ben turned to her. And then Ben turned to her and said something to the effect, well, are you... I'm legitimately friends with this woman.

No, but then you were like, oh, but it's not like you're half Native American, and then she was like, I am half Native American. She is half Native American. That's what she told me. And she got your ass. You're profoundly, deeply confused about what has happened because you suffer from autism and are addicted to marijuana.

I think I'm actually very in tune with what happened. Do not perceive reality as it exists. But that's totally okay. Me and Courtney both forgive you for your mistakes. Shut the hell up. You're so wrong. I don't care. No, it's okay.

Look, I can tell by the tone of your voice that the way that it's going, I don't care. I don't care. I feel sorry. I don't care i i know it's okay look i can tell by the tone of your voice that the way that you're it's going i don't care i don't care i feel sorry i don't care max and um has i just want to apologize for the way ben's acting because he's just a little bit embarrassed i just you know let him let him have this one okay such an annoying thing to do to someone i just want to apologize for the way this person's incredibly annoying thing to do why don't you keep the show going jock why don't you keep keep the show going now sure sure thanks so as i was saying earlier um i i went to the strip club for the first time as a customer and not an employee or not um just saying

hi to my friends the last time i went to a female strip club club was to see a bunch of people that I used to go to high school with that had all said they were going to become lawyers and doctors. And they all instead became very successful money-making strippers and sex workers. Go, go, girls. And then he was banned by the strip club union, the female strippers union. He was banned by the strip club union. No, no. The female strippers union. So for the brief moment that I was in the strip club, probably like 10 or 15 years ago,

the female one that I was just visiting, I barely saw the dancing happening, but it was very short, and it was just very basic and plain. And my idea of strippers in general is like the dancing dancing i didn't understand how creative people could get boy that's such a mean thing to say i hope you didn't say that to them that was so creative no i just was like wow like what a midwestern mom says when they meet a trans person

the athleticism combined with the the creative okay also one girl literally barked at at at one guy in front of me oh what okay one guy at the end of the bar she said let me put a dollar on your head you little twink you're probably used to bottoming well i'm a bottom you and then she she put the dollar on top of his head and sat down really quickly on his head and knocked him down inside of her pussy it was cool they they they were touching people like uh like and they were fully naked which i don't remember in new orleans them being fully naked i was like well the rules are different everywhere i think it was an experience like no other i could not believe what um fun there is to have i had i had a private dance

so to the guy who just commented on the podcast episode that went up today, you guys don't know anything about Portland strip clubs. Suck my dick. Kill yourself. Suck jockstick, actually. Yeah, I was at Devil's Point. I feel like this is a three-year-old was telling me about his experience at a strip club. Okay, shut the fuck up. I just had a good time.

I didn't know they got naked. I was so creative. I didn't know they got naked. Sorry, I was... I didn't know they got naked. When didn't know they got naked. Sorry, I was... I had to go naked. When they got naked, I closed my eyes. I'm not allowed to see that. And then...

Fuck your retarded librarian glasses, you evil cocksucker. They play a Katy Perry song. It was 80s nights, too. The music was super cool. This girl was spinning so fast. The woman was spinning so fast

to a bizarre love triangle. She was spinning so fast. She was like 6'2", 6'3", in her heels. We were sitting directly in front of the stage and I thought her heels were gonna... I'm actually gonna kill you. You stupid, dumb,

fat, retarded bitch. Tell us more. Is there anything you can tack on to the end of that? Keep it going. I was just deeply... I was very impressed impressed. I was very impressed by some of the really creative ways

of getting people's attention. Okay, I had never seen a stripper do this. She brushed her head against my head and then brushed her head against my thigh. Sounds gross. Whoa. She brushed her head against my thigh. Sounds gross. She brushed her head against my

head? That's a really terrible way to get gone. My head was touching her head. I'm going to actually jump all over. Tell us more.

Is there anything else you can add? Let me add I have an even greater experience to share. That's amazing. I did a lot of amazing things in Portland last trip, and it's been very eye-opening. I thought that I was under the impression that the entire city was run down with zombie criminal mastermind delinquents that were gonna rob me for my hot sauce since my friend driving a car here once got robbed for five thousand dollars worth of hot

sauce in a rental car by children with knives um but that hasn't happened it's a very nice city and the best place that i went so far is the lloy Lloyd Center which is a mall that's sort of run down and it's they have a bunch of random art galleries in between all of the closed stores and they had an ice rink that Tonya Harding used to practice in

and they shut the fuck up you idiot bitch I swear to God I'll break your I'll break your glasses and get them tanked with your fucking messy hair. She's laughing and she's talking like a baby, mimicking me. I'm talking about how much I loved fucking Portland. Stop talking to me, bitch. God. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

So. Is there a story you're talking about? god okay okay okay okay okay so just keep going just keep free association just listen just listen listen listen listen i went directly from the store the magician slash novelty store slash political hat store and by political hat store i mean the back of the store that had 3D posters. I mean, you walked in and... I totally understand what's happening. By political hat store, I mean... They sold plain blank hats,

but then when you walked in, the guy would yell at you about Obama and stuff. There were about three Joe Biden hats. Jesus. Shut up. There were three Joe Biden hats and about there were three Joe Biden hats and about 20 Donald Trump hats

and the cashier was saying that the owner wanted to represent both sides give people the option to be whatever political is this the story? yeah that's the story thanks John it sounds really kind of you and also and then yep yeah that's the story thanks shut the fuck up you stupid curly-haired

idiot blue-eyed husky I kind of love your enthusiasm you're unwavering it you're really was the coolest it was the coolest place ever. So wait. They had this art gallery called... It was the coolest place ever. They had this... Shut up. Just listen. I'm going to...

I'm going to put under this... I'm going to kill your... The Jigglypuff music. Yes, please. It was the coolest place ever. I'm going to kill your family. It was the coolest place ever. I'm going to kill your family. I'm going to kill your family. Your family is dead. I mean, it kind of... It was the coolest place ever. It was the coolest place ever.

I'm going to kill your family. Your family is dead. Your friends are dead. It kind of fits. You loved it so much. Can you just shut up? Stop. It's a crazy audio podcast.

Well, then just let me finish my fucking story. You don't get to hold a show hold a show hostage come on I've always I just I come to Portland once in my fucking life for the first time ever

and I want to express the magic that I saw you can you can definitely talk about it allow them to make jokes okay

a place where they have strip clubs for boy childs shut shut your mouth, sweet palm. More like sweet penis up your cock hole, you dumb faggot. They were naked.

What are you doing in the gay sex shop, Kate? I can't remember that one. That was also another four-year-old on an excursion. Next to the magician's shop shop there was an art gallery called nativity spelled n t v t y and it was all church and cyber themed it was like the intersection of like nativity sets churches and cyber artwork it was really immersive and the sound

scared me and what was the sound there was like a sound there was a sound there was a bug and it scared me I'll never I got scared can I please just

finish yeah no 1000% please finish the story sorry sweetie it was stupidly toilet I got scared. Can I please just finish? Yeah, no, 1,000%. Please finish the story. Sorry, sweetie. It was skibbity toilet. Skibbity toilet. Scared Jacques. What's the ending to this story? I feel like it's just...

Okay, okay. I feel like we're still in the setting. Okay, so I had to run downstairs because I didn't mention this part, that I had gone to a store previously at the beginning of my mall shopping experience called Gifts From Afar The World. The usual suspects happening,

but it's Jacques in the room and the detectives are like... Punching themselves in the face. This store was like a a multicultural uh uh like bizarre they had like swords from and katanas and like and fans there's a lot a lot of malls have a place a place called like treasures and it has like a bunch of golden swords and pipes and the coolest thing they had was these different statues of frogs and

they had statues of frogs kissing Elvis frog remember you were running down the stairs so is this is there an ending yeah is there anything happening or are you just describing them all no I had to run to the I had to run downstairs Is there anything happening? Or are you just describing a mall?

No, I had to run downstairs before 6 o'clock. I got there at 5.55 just in time to buy the Michael Jackson frog. Okay, so this is the climax of the story. This is the ending of the story. Okay. Yes.

It was an ending for hours and now we've got it to come. Thank you. Tonya Harding used to thank you jack thank you for that beautiful story i'm happy you got thank you michael jackson just in time you're welcome and i got a green luggage from the store today was it was it was it a little scary because Did you feel like maybe it was a real snake at any point? Did that scare you? I feel like I'm being made fun of or mocked. No, that's a genuine question. Were you at all? No, that's a genuine question.

Okay. That's what you sound like. I know. Yeah. That's what you sound like, Barry. Like the teachers in Peanuts. Womp, womp, womp. Womp, womp, womp, womp, womp.

I sound like it's how adults sound to you. No, no, no, no, no. Y'all want to know what Ben sounds like to me every time he talks? The mammy from Tom and Jerry? I don't think anyone's saying yes, Jock. It sounds like... I'll say yes.

That's what Ben's voice sounds like when he talks to me. A really loud and gay mosquito. Yeah. Pretty accurate. Oh, Yahoo Sports is back. Hi, Yahoo Sports. Good to see you again. Can I read the Yahoo Sports article really quickly?

No, you can't read the Yahoo Sports. I don't think we need you describing them all and just reading Yahoo Sports. Hello. Just one headline. One headline from former... My name is Yahoo Sports. Welcome to Tel Aviv. Hello.

I am Yahoo Sports. Former Siracus basketball player arrested... Read that article. C. Ray Koss basketball player arrested. Read that article. Former C. Ray Koss basketball player arrested accused of being drug mule for rapper Diddy.

This was the young Miami. Back to Diddy. There we go. I never got to read it earlier. That's it. Sorry. Thanks for listening. Thank you. It's okay, sweetie. There's a lot of pandering going on in this episode, but I'm not unhappy about it.

The name of the city, by the way, where that basketball player is from, anyone want to guess? Syracuse. Syracuse. How was your reading of Syracuse? Syracuse, New York. He started speaking Greek because Syracuse.

In his defense, Syracuse is originally a Greek name. It's the name of the ancient colony of Syracuse Syracuse is originally a Greek name. It's the name of an ancient colony. Wow. It's the name of an ancient Greek cum dump ceremony. Can you imagine how gay it must have been to be in the

Greek colonies of Italy? I wish that I could have lived in that time so bad. Honestly, I get angry. I wish that I could have lived in that time so bad. Honestly, I get angry when I realize that I can't live there. Your face is definitely made for that kind of hair. Thank you, Jock.

They used to wear a string. They used to wear literally nothing but a string. You know what the string did? The string wrapped around the foreskin because it was uncoosed to show yeah and that was all they wore that's what we need to bring back

wait y'all don't do that I guess y'all aren't cut whatever Max y'all aren't cut I don't do it because I'm a vulgar individual what can I say I'm a vulgar individual yes I don't want to know yeah I don't want to know I'm a vulgar individual. What can I say? I'm a vulgar individual. Yes. I don't want to know. Yeah, I don't want to know what Max does with his dirty, filthy, sacramenty cock.

That's right. I put it in the gutter. That's where it lives. Period. Period. And that's where he gets that gutter. I barely know her. There we go.

Gutter dick. Name's Max Gutter Dick. I got the dick from the gutter, but it's good gutter dick. You max gutter dick i got the dick from the gutter but it's good gutter dick you should drive a tractor absolutely disgusting hey hey my name is max gutter dick and if you want to meet me behind the arby's i will suck you off for a roast beef sandwich with melted cheese on top this is just literally what Jock does. This is you. This is literally something you've just done before. Hey, the name's Max

Guttercock. What if Jock's alters? When I'm not working at the gym, I'm a Cajun. Sucking my way through the Cajun community in order to become Chief Cajun. Yeah, and that is how you do it. That's how you take over the entire community.

That's how you fucking do the entire that's how you fucking do it thank you i feel like i've never met anyone like you in my life this is your gutter dick you don't remind me of anyone i've ever met before you're so interesting you're so special you have a je ne sais quoi you remind me of something that i might describe as a gutter dick. Okay, this is a new character. What's your name, sir? Hello, I am Reginald Burting Fartum.

Reginald Burting Fartum. Tell me about yourself. Where are you from? I, Reginald Burting Fartum, I'm from the city of Sacramento. There we go. Okay, that makes so much sense amazing character development there's great tell us about yourself are you gay i identify as no one sexually where's your family from france we have the best

baguettes in all of the town food focused kind of like Max Gutter Dick food on the mind Max Gutter Dick of course I know Max Gutter Dick I am Max Gutter Dick

he might be a little hungry I might be a little hungry for some gutta dick. I'm just kidding. I don't fuck my family. That's some lore. The people making this scene has always been accused of incest, but don't let you befold you. Have you ever had sex with a family member, Jock?

It seems like you're passively admitting something here. Yeah. No, I've never had sex with anyone in my family, you sick perverts. You brought it up. How dare you make such an unbiased... Actually, Max got a dick brought up. No, that's true.

Sorry, I forgot the different people. I've done it a few times. Max got a dick, has sex with whoever he wants, except his family. Except his family. Is that what you're proposing? Thank you. So the people, our fans who are on the scene for our family page, the wiki page with all the characters on it please add to max cutter dick

except a family member you would max max gutter dick will fuck anyone who's consensually willing to be blown down to smash down thanks for making a consensual but thank you for thinking that's also something you would actually get a day can I respect all people's right I'm not like my mentor get her dick seems a little too woke for me I'll be honest yeah next guy seems like a cool guy

Reginald vision bottom defend you forgot your last name don't you talk to my friend like that you glasses library and idiot bitch this is one of the most deranged episodes i'm loving it it's giving me a headache to be quite honest oh shut the fuck up ben max say something interesting dance monkey dance monkey i don't know um what's something embarrassing that you've done recently

are you gonna let him tell us about your romantic life say something interesting are you gonna talk uh i i uh busted open a hemorrhoid on accident one time last week. That is like literally like, that's like every other week activity for me. So like, you don't have to say something. I did that to us today. Why do you hate me? What older man's car are you recording from the back of? And what did you have to do to get in that car? My own.

I bought it with my own money. Period. Shut the fuck. Wait, wait, wait. I have been working. I've been earning a living. How long did it take you to get that Honda Accord? It took me like a year and a half since moving from Spain.

You leased it or you bought the whole thing? I bought it cash. Ten grand. Nice, dude. Shut the fuck up. Is Jack jealous now? Where is he getting this fucking money I bought it cash 10 grand nice dude pure shut the fuck up you don't have I'm really happy Jack is jealous now we're talking about where is he getting

this fucking money from he has a job McDonald's yeah yeah I did I literally did I worked at McDonald's

I quit last year I'm so fucking happy that's over okay wait we pay him twice as much as we pay you yeah he actually he's been

yeah he's he's taken up your percentage of the company are you joking that if Max makes more than me I'm gonna fly to Sacramento and beat his little well that's not a very

I make more than Ben from the podcast yeah Max is the top earner makes more than all of us combined actually I have them locked into terrible, terrible contracts and have enforced them by following the P. Diddy method of making them have sex with each other. Yeah. Making them have sex with each other and filming it.

Max got a video of me having sex with a woman and he says he's going to release it unless I pay him more money. Straight blackmail of the century. That would be such a good twist for you ben i know you've always wished you were straight and i thought you were calling the straight black male of the century i was like what he's black that's black and he's straight and um yeah no chris rock now that is a a classic. I'm sorry. You said straight black. Yeah, that's a ZL guy.

You think? Man. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Chris Rock? Genuinely, you think so? Oh, yeah. I feel like I could see it for Kevin Hart.

Kevin Hart is more relevant. Oh, Eddie Murphy just loves the duels. Eddie Murphy loves the duels. He loves sword fighting. He loves sword fighting. Would you have sex with Eddie Murphy, Hessa? Yeah, I'd do it for the story. He was hot when he was young.

Oh, yeah. He was hot in the 90s. Is this raw era, Eddie Murphy? When he was pho-hophobic? Yeah. Absolutely. In that red leather fucking jumpsuit. Yeah,

he's wearing the red leather jumpsuit the whole time. we gotta kill all these faggots. And I was like, okay. I would fuck him from daddy daycare. Nice.

Oh my God. Yes. Actually, yes, classic. Very good. I would fuck him from Norbit, but whatever.

Oh my God. Wearing the Rasaspucian costume. The Raspucian costume stays on. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Here's the dream. I'm inclusive. I don't want to do it,

but I'm doing it for the community. You can't even keep the Raspucian costume on because you want to look. He has to almost have heat stroke while I'm penetrating it. Punishing his butthole. Dream threesome. Here we go.

Dream threesome is Norbit and Norbit's big girlfriend. Raspusha. She has a name. She's not Norbit's girlfriend. She has a name. Please use it. Well, I don't remember her fucking name. They've been saying it. It's Raspusha. Mm-hmm. That is not really her name. Norbit's girlfriend she has a name please use it it was Black History Month three weeks ago

it's Respusha that is not really her name her name is Respusha why you don't think it's too on the nose for a black woman you don't think black women can be named Respusha that's such a crazy thing to say in any context

you think it's a joke? I wouldn't have sex with Robin Williams in any other way, but with him as Flubber... Again, I see. With him as Flubber, he doesn't play Flubber. Flubber is a gel. He's the doctor.

He's the doctor. It's actually called Flubber's Mom. Flubber is what? I have sex with Robin Williams. But he'd have actually called Flubber's Mom Flubber is what doctor Robin Williams but he'd have to be Flubber you're so retarded you'd have to be

that little green blue no no no no no no because it was a segway it was a segway into me saying I would love to have sex with Professor Klump

that's not a segway that's not what you just say why is that not a segway a segway I? Why is that not a segue? A segue? I think Ben's hungry, too. A segue?

It's a segue. I said segue. Everyone's going insane. A segue is a type of skewer as well as a transition. Do you guys think Flubber can squirt? Yeah, absolutely. I think squirt is Flubber. That's what it's made of.

Oh, no. Y'all. That's nasty. Y'all know the grapefruit soda squirt is flubber. That's what it's made of. Oh, no. That's nasty. Y'all know the grapefruit soda squirt? Yes. They have it on fountain drink here in Portland. It is so crazy. Why are y'all so mad at me?

Instead of having a lot of 7-Elevens here, I'm jealous. You're just listing random things about Portland that no one can respond to. You're not giving anything to us to respond to. Jacques is doing what I what he asked me to do. Dance, monkey, dance. Say something interesting.

Did you know the squirt comes out of the fucking fountain? Oh, they have squirt on the fountain. Who fucking cares? They have squirt on fountain drinks in Portland? I don't fucking care. I squirt on fountain drinks in Portland. I don't fucking care. And they're most popular. Stop. Stop.

Stop. Stop. Just listen. They also have this convenience store chain here called Plaid Pantry. Isn't that such a cute name? I don't fucking care. I don't fucking care. Do they have a Winco in New York?

They have stores in Portland. Do they have a Winco in New York? I don't know what that is. I don't care. Probably not. But they probably have something very similar to it because it's a non-disgraceful, useless thing to talk about.

Calm down. You shouldn't be angry at this. You're a bit idiot. But yeah, Winko rules. What is Winko? Winko is like a worker-owned cooperative supermarket that's all over the West Coast. It's super fucking sick.

It has all the Latino, Asian, whatever foods. It's worker-owned. Now you're invested. Max can actually describe something interestingly without just saying, there's a store here called Winco.

I like it. Max says it the way I like it. It's not about me. My name is Ben. Ben Mora. I'm a little woman. What? Wow. That was incredibly weird.

Let that sink in. What? Wow. Wow. That was so weird. Also, look. wow that was so weird also look maybe this is a given but I'm just gonna say it out loud the weed

is a lot stronger that explains it holy Christ dude how much have you smoked today actually Jock that is something that's worth mentioning because it does explain a lot of what's happening. I smoked a half gram this morning. That's so...

Keep doing it. I love that. I have a half ounce. Keep it up. You should smoke a pound. You should see if you can do a pound of weed in a day. A half ounce is $12. You'll eat tomorrow.

You got to smoke it all before you go. Otherwise, the TSA is going to kill your ass. I have seven paintings to paint is $12. You'll eat tomorrow. You gotta smoke it all before you go, otherwise the TSA's gonna kill your ass. And I have seven paintings to paint before I leave. Wow. Holy shit. What are they gonna be of? Are they gonna be cyber churches? Probably of you three. You don't have the right to use my

image. You can do a different guy, but it cannot be me. It can be Menbora, but it cannot be me. It can be Ben Bora. It can be Ben Bora for sure. Ben Bora? No, I want to do Ben more. You won't be allowed to. I allow you to use the likeness of sweet palm.

Do you think, Max? I'm not going to say it out. Two, but not inclusive of a year. So you have 364 days to use my likeness. Well, I'm not listening to your rules. And I charge penalties. I charge penalties. So you have 364 days to use my likeness. Well, I'm not listening to your royalties. And I charge penalties.

I charge penalties. I deserve a 2% royalty. No. No, they do not. Okay, well, I won't say it on this podcast. You probably shouldn't say it at all. Also, you don't even know it, dude. No, you're going to get him to say it.

No, he's... That's not okay, Josh. He're gonna get him to say it no he ends with a yeah that's not okay job he just asked you not to do that who's that he said he screamed it in the room and waves the mic around it's really not okay to do that chuck yeah he's asked you not to use his last name so don't walk that line that's right yeah how many bad things about bukele on this podcast you know how many family members of mine you know how many bad things i've said about bukele on this podcast? You know how many family members of mine... You know how many bad things I've said about Bukele on this podcast about how he's a piece of shit and how he's a fucking man-child

and he deserves to get raped by a bayonet? You know how many family members I have left in El Salvador that he could put in a Supermax prison? Why do you have such a difficult time respecting people's very reasonable boundaries? I speak truth to power, bitch. Listen, God... Max has asked you for something very reasonable boundaries. I speak truth to power, bitch. I, listen. Okay, yeah. My mama, my mama,

Max has asked you for something very reasonable, which is to not mention his last name and you just shouted it while waving the mic around the room. Hessa, did you hear

Max's last name just now? Why can't you respect people's boundaries? First of all, phonetically sounding it out is very... It's a genuine question. First of all,

phonetically saying it is not the same as You can't even accept the fact that you did something that just wasn't cool. Why can't you respect his boundary? Do you think, First of all, phonetically saying it is not the same as spelling it saying it. It just wasn't cool. Why can't you respect his boundary? Did you hear your last name said out loud? I did.

I'm going to say no. He screamed it while waving the mic around the room. He's tiptoeing across the line and he's being very I'm not tipping on any toes. I've gotten acupuncture I'll give you the benefit of the doubt He's tiptoeing across the line And he's very very I'm not tipping on any toes

I've gotten acupuncture today I've been to the Lloyd Center mall I have half of the letters in his name I'm smoking That line That line is laying deep in his skin From like the back of his head I'm not going to spell his last name

You did I'm sorry I know that you want me to spell his last name But that's not something that matters from like the back of his head to the taint area. You did. I'm sorry. I know that you want me to spell his last name, but that's not something that Max wants me to do on the podcast. Don't do that. It's not okay. I would never do that. You literally did, but whatever. I think you might have misheard me

and it might have been a confusion since you're chewing gum in front of me, but you know, I think For the record, listeners For the record, people Ben is chewing gum in front of me No, I'm not You're also wrong about that

He just was moving his mouth around like a cow, a gape or a man with a cock shoved up his face I need to get something for my coffee breath. I think we can probably wrap up, I would say. Max, you're leaving? I think I've been pushed to my limit.

I got a cup of coffee earlier and I have terrible breath. I need something to... Pop some gum in. Yeah, I think it's time we should all have a piece of gum, honestly. I think it's time for us to have a piece of gum honestly I think it's time for us to have a piece of gum this free episode is brought to you by by the Rigor Corporation

okay that's an amazing thing if he ever starts rambling it's like saying bravo on Real Housewives wait we all need to be we all need to have a piece of gum bravo bravo fucking bravo we all need to have a piece of gum nextvo bravo fucking bravo we all need to have a piece of gum next to

us so we can just start chewing it whatever whatever we need wow max i'm happy you can imitate the noise of a big giant cock that you had in your mouth earlier you stupid idiot slut you're a dumb whore all right everyone well thank you everyone thank you for listening stop being so disgusting you You pathetic idiot bitch. Um, well, you can listen to us on Patreon if you want more. Can we get this?

Can I end the episode without talking about another store in Portland? Because he's doing the noises of a guinea pig swallowing a peanut. All right. peanut. Alright. Patreon.com. Thank you for listening. Wait, before we go. Shut up, Max. Thank you for joining us. Show pig. April 4th.

You can talk. Just let me finish what I have to say. It's called taking turns when people talk. You wait for someone to stop their sentence and then you can talk. Max, thank you so much for joining us.

And John, don't you have something you'd like to plug? Oh, thank you so much for waiting a moment, you three lovely, beautiful, sexy lover babies. On April 4th, I will be doing Show Pig with Jilly as well as

April and Grace from Girl God as well as Amber Felix and Will from

Chapo Trap House and I would appreciate if everyone would come into the Lodge Room on April 4th and if you haven't bought a ticket

buy it today because they're going away so quickly and if you don't come and you live in Los Angeles and you listen to this, you're disrespecting me. You will get AIDS if you don't. And that is a personal threat.

No, Max, I agree. You will get AIDS. Stop. Jacques is going to mail you a needle that was used on him. One of the needles that he got. Stop. I picked up all the needles. He's going to flex his arm and shoot it across the country

directly in your eyeball. He's going to use a really long blow dart. I made sure all the needles that came out of my arm were picked up. All right. Goodbye, everyone.

Thank you. Bye-bye. Mwah. Mwah. day Sunday she had to be herself and no one else Tracy had her day Sunday, oh yeah Thank you.