Seeking Derangements - SD 336 - Club Predictable

Episode Date: August 22, 2024

Hello everyone! Today we review Bill Maher's interview with various children, discuss Tim Walz's horrible recipes, and (brace for impact) upack Chappell Roan's comments about some of her "weird" fans.... Subscribe to our patreon for weekly bonus episodes!

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 you know that's kind of what they teach you kids these days a year or two you might not even be a girl huh who let this happen hey kids hello hi how you doing nice to meet you nice to meet you and you're i'm bever. Beverly, of course. Now, obviously, there's been a booking mix-up because you're not even close to the same age. Okay, okay, pause it, pause it, pause it. Welcome to Seeking Derangements, everyone. If you were not familiar with what you just heard, that is an episode of the world's best podcast club random yeah hosted by bill maher who's uh interviewing children in his basement he's interviewing basement in his like um it's designed kind of like a margaritaville almost like yeah it's like a man
Starting point is 00:01:01 it's like a man it's a man cave you've never seen the set um tim heidecker it's like the show tim heidecker is making fun of on his on his office there's not a single there's not a single window in this room um yeah anyways um this every episode listen to us um on patreon if you want bonus episodes anyways we are going to be talking about bill maher talking to kids today we just found out that this dropped um like an hour, we are going to be talking about Bill Maher talking to kids today. We just found out that this dropped like an hour before we were going to record. We had other topics but we figured we should just
Starting point is 00:01:32 watch as much of this as we can get through and see how it goes. It's incredible. It's so bad. Choice cuts. I mean, we've all been fans of Club Random I listened to the entire
Starting point is 00:01:47 well I have been I have as well it's one of my favorite podcasts I've listened to the Richard Dawkins Vivek Rangswani is a really good one the Vivek one was hilarious
Starting point is 00:02:04 the Huck 201 was exceptionally painful because he's talking down to her as much as possible. Because she's a stupid nobody. Let's be honest. Bill is right for assuming that. And he is so, so mean
Starting point is 00:02:22 and condescending to her. He's like, if you want to make it in this business, honey, you gotta know who I am. If you don't know who I am, you're never gonna make it. And it's because your whole family's, they got, you know, hit by trucks. So, if any of your family died of opiate overdose? Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:02:40 She's like, no. And he's like, really? Are you sure? Are you sure? He literally thinks she's too stupid to know if her family thinks that she doesn't know what an opioid is. And honestly, she probably does. And he's about to turn to these kids and go, you kids have ever heard of a thing called fentanyl?
Starting point is 00:02:57 He might. He might actually. He might do fentanyl. I mean, he's definitely going to keep calling them trans. Let's make some guesses for what Mr. Moore is going to say here. I mean, he's definitely going to keep calling them a trans. Like, let's make some guesses for the, what Mr. Moore is going to say here. I've watched,
Starting point is 00:03:07 I've watched a good bit of it. So I, I feel, he's going to complain to them about woke. He's going to tell them about, he's probably going to complain about, uh, you know,
Starting point is 00:03:18 particularly young, young books for children about being trans drag story. Our stuff, we're going to come up. For the record, I would rather have my child see a ball's drag a drag queen's balls fall out of their skirt than
Starting point is 00:03:33 have an interview with Bill Maher. It cannot be much less psychologically damaging. He's been one of the most consistently annoying people in the history of media since forever. Like, at least early 2000s. At least he's consistent.
Starting point is 00:03:50 It's just in his voice. His sneer. He's so condescending. That's what lesbians want to look like in older age. Honestly, yeah. Is that true? I mean, that's what Rosie told me last time we had lunch. What did you touch with Rosie?
Starting point is 00:04:06 You mentioned Rosie once in an episode. Who's Rosie? Rosie O'Donnell. Rosie O'Donnell. McDonald's. Rosie McDonald's. She owns the McDonald's empire. She's a famous lesbian.
Starting point is 00:04:18 I don't know. I have to repeat myself. All right. Let's keep watching. Let's see what he says. I'll watch. Hard to get good help, right? How old are you?
Starting point is 00:04:27 Eight. Eight? Yes. Wow. You look older than eight. Okay. I'm not eight. No.
Starting point is 00:04:34 Sixteen. Sixteen. My brother's the same age as him. You what? My brother. Ah. Maybe that's the mix-up. Maybe it was supposed to be your brother.
Starting point is 00:04:44 Are there anybody between you and your brother at 16 and 8? He's about to drop a great joke. That doesn't really count. Because I have a sister. She's the oldest of my sibling. I'm the youngest. She's 19.
Starting point is 00:05:01 So 19, 16, and 8. I always was curious about families like that where the kids are like, it just did. It was like, hi, there's that thing we used to do. What was it?
Starting point is 00:05:11 It was in bed. And then they, but it's always good. What is he doing? Who let this happen? It's like not even two minutes. It's like not even two minutes in.'s like not even two minutes in he's like he's like well i bet your parents just started fucking again
Starting point is 00:05:31 oh your looks like looks like your mom got a boob job at about uh what your seventh birthday good god is that why you got a bad present on your ninth birthday? Because your mom got vaginal tightening surgery on you? He's so bad. He's so weird. Do you like being baby of the family? Yeah, I have a little cousin. He's four.
Starting point is 00:05:58 Yeah. But that's a cousin. Yeah. And like, literally, every time he comes over sometimes, he gives me random ideas gotcha yeah he was hiding under my grandma's bed no pause that fuck the democratic party is trying to steamroll our podcast yeah fuck you tim waltz we're getting we might be able to use this later as uh
Starting point is 00:06:21 we could just talk about tim right now and then go back to Bill if you want. Let's do that. He interrupted. Where's that guy Tim Walls? He's so weird. I don't know where they keep finding these confused, strange, old men with white hair.
Starting point is 00:06:39 Are you serious? I don't... I mean, look, I'm not voting for Kamala. I'm not voting for Tim Walls. I hate Walls. I don't I mean I look I'm not fucking I'm not voting for Tim Walls I hate well I don't think yeah yeah yeah I I don't really I don't find me like a confused white guy though like he is very you know he's on top of he has a charm the ball yeah he yeah absolutely
Starting point is 00:06:57 but yeah he it's funny because the Republicans don't really have much to to go on with him yeah they're saying that he was he's like you know put tampons in elementary schools calling him tampon tim um which is like they're really desperate there another thing that they got it shows that they just have no juice right now um did he even put tampons in the boys bathroom? I don't. They say that but I don't know. What is the purpose of bringing tampons
Starting point is 00:07:32 in early? It seems too early. Well some people have them. Now you're agreeing with us. I mean honestly it's not my I have no fucking clue. I'm not a parent. They shouldn't be seeing tampons in the bathroom. That gonna ruin their minds it's literally the furthest thing from something that matters to me children women periods don't care period that's a bill bill
Starting point is 00:07:57 march yeah women period no it matters to him I care I do not care. It does matter to him. It does really matter to him. But the other one outside of Tampon Tim was his recent interview with Kamala where they sat down at some jazz bar in Detroit and Kamala was immediately trying to do white slavery to him. She made him get on his knees and kiss her feet and beg for forgiveness. No, of course not um he i'm so sorry for being white i'm so sorry i'm so sorry for being white please please enslave all of us please bring back white slavery we really we really we feel so bad um but he mentioned something about tacos he's like i like white guy tacos and kamala's like
Starting point is 00:08:48 what's that tuna and mayonnaise you cracker and people are really pissed off about that the right is very very bad about and what what tim tim clarifies after that, no, it's just ground beef and cheese and nothing else. No seasoning. And a hard shell. That's literally what they served at Casa Bonita before they got it redone. It was just like ground beef,
Starting point is 00:09:16 shredded lettuce, just the shredded cheese. It was not hot enough. No seasoning. The famous Casa Bonita. The Taco Bell special. Yeah. I mean, the thing is, sometimes those tacos are good I'm not gonna lie like I love yeah I mean they hit it's 4 a.m. when
Starting point is 00:09:31 you're fucking hammered yeah yeah absolutely but of course this made everyone very mad Tim Walls also said that black pepper is the spiciest element of the Minnesotan diet. But they freaked out. Yeah. On Fox and Friends, one of the co-hosts was like, why is Kamala the expert on tacos? Getting really mad over this.
Starting point is 00:09:55 I was watching Fox. They got hours out of this. I'm not even kidding. Because I'm in Texas, Louisiana, which puts me in the mood to want to watch Fox News. I was on a billionaire's ranch last weekend. But you're not in Texas. I was on a billionaire's ranch last weekend.
Starting point is 00:10:07 I guess you are. I'm in Louisiana, but I was in Texas and I was like, I want to fire up the Fox News that this billionaire has 7000 acre ranch was really nuts. But they were going off. They also said one guy, Mike Sardovich on Twitter, accused Waltz of lying about skimming seasoning. He's like, Tim Waltz is such a compulsive liar. He's a deployment
Starting point is 00:10:27 dodger. I decided to see if he lied about not seasoning his food and Sernovich linked Sernovich linked to this horrible monstrosity that Tim Waltz won a cooking competition for
Starting point is 00:10:43 and it really pains me to get into this because it's monstrosity that Tim Waltz won a cooking competition for. And it really pains me to get into this because it's triggering as a Midwesterner. I'll be honest. Yeah, I saw this document. It's the hot dish. The hot dish. It's a tot dish. Yeah, they are all tot dishes. They all
Starting point is 00:10:59 have something to do with tater tots. You can tell that people are in a lower intelligence bracket if like one of their main food groups is tater tots or if it has dish it has a dish in it like if it's just like hot dish is something a baby would call it you know it's like i eat like yeah i support i support our low intelligence listeners who have these meals and eat them. I don't. I think you're actually smart. You're actually smart. No, they're not smart.
Starting point is 00:11:32 I am a pig and I eat a big trollop of food all mixed together with my hands. I don't even bother to use food. A big trollop. A big sexy lady made of food. You eat a trollop of food. But these lazy ass uninspired housewife casserole dishes are disgusting, boring, and they should be thrown away like the medieval practices of medical care.
Starting point is 00:12:01 Yes, absolutely. This is the giving someone surgery with a rusty saw version of cuisine for sure. Thank you. So this is Tim Waltz's. This is what Cernovich unearthed to prove that Tim Waltz is lying about. And also, he never said that he didn't season his food. He just said it's not spicy. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:26 Which adds another layer of depth to this. I'm sorry. This is just very triggering for me. I'm really not trying to be precious here. Are you okay? Are you being seriously triggered right now? Growing up in the Midwest, you have no idea
Starting point is 00:12:40 how many times I'd have to go to a friend's house or see my american family and of course i'm all it's a free episode look let's just say we didn't really get along anyone who listens this show knows my knows my proclivity for the other half of my family and identity so it's very hard to grapple with the fact that these are my people yeah but the other half is just the the nickelodeon show the barnyard literally um it's yeah no it's it's encanto and barnyard and guess which one i chose um this is recipes from the sixth annual minnesota congressional delegation of hot dish off so this is a folksy little bullshit thing
Starting point is 00:13:28 they do for their politicians in Minnesota or they all make a hot it could be another name for a hot dish is bullshit diabetes bullshit no literally okay so this is this is one
Starting point is 00:13:43 this is Tim Waltz's dish. He won with this dish. And this is also, keep in mind, the smoking gun evidence that he enjoys spicy food from Sardavich here. So this is called Tim's Turkey Taco Tot Hot Dish. Just fuck you. Fuck you. Yeah, fuck the name. Shut the fuck up. It's like disgusting. Slop. It's truffle. Ben's loading. Shut the fuck up.
Starting point is 00:14:05 It's like disgusting. Slop. It's truffle. You should have put truffle in there. Say it in a sexy voice, please. Turkey taco is insane. Turkey taco is like actually fucking crazy, though. Well, I think it's disgusting that people revert to using turkey to be healthier.
Starting point is 00:14:23 Just die faster instead of ingesting the worst of all the meats. Ground turkey can be turkey. Ground turkey is pretty good. It's just because it has less fat. I don't understand why he's doing it. I wasn't at the renaissance fair.
Starting point is 00:14:40 Why would you be eating turkey? Is it Thanksgiving year round in a sick and twisted motherfucker's head? It kind of is. We should all have turkey legs next meeting. fair why would you be eating turkey is it Thanksgiving you're around in this mother fuckers head it kind of is next meeting so recipe here one pound ground turkey red red bell pepper onion
Starting point is 00:14:55 black olives mild mild green chilies one bottle taco sauce medium see this is the shit I hate I'm sorry it's are that's if you're if you're making a casserole and you throw black olives in there it's i love i love a good olive but it's kind of a death now for whatever you kind of eat it
Starting point is 00:15:18 ridiculous ridiculous i eat a can of black olives every day the large size period one bag of four cups four cups shredded cheese three cups sweet corn cherry tomatoes green onions shredded lettuce paprika and this is the smoking gun that cernovich pointed out that other people are pointing out chili powder onion powder garlic powder and olive oil chili powder being the one standing out there which is hilarious yeah it's like look at how spicy this is of course he likes literally this liar not a spicy thing at all chili powder is like it's like close to like paprika you know it's not spicy i mean they're talking about it like he's being like like he's being exotic supplicant to Kamala and being like
Starting point is 00:16:10 like I don't know how to say this like he's talking about it like he's putting down his own race but actually it's kind of the opposite he's like actually you know me white people right well he's just he's just making
Starting point is 00:16:29 us he's making a kind of corny self-effacing joke um for people who've been online for a very long time the white people don't season their food meme is of course incredibly tired and stupid but to the base of the democratic party this this is the funniest shit they've ever fucking heard in their life because it allows them to still get off on some kind of like racial humor, which none of them could do because they're too scared to do that. So they have to like, you know, make fun of white people, make fun of white people,
Starting point is 00:16:55 which I think is a little tired and annoying. I don't think it's it's just it's for white people. You miss race humor? Is that the point you're trying to give me? No, no, no. I mean, I think it's fine to make jokes about, you know, race, ethnicity, etc. It's, you know, it's case by case, whatever.
Starting point is 00:17:14 I'm not the one to make that line, nor would I choose to. But I think that for a lot of people who, like, want to vote for, a lot of people in the Democratic Party miss this kind of ethnic ribbing whatever it may be yeah so it all now has to go to like italians and white people alike um but it was clearly a joke and all of these republicans got so so offended by it because they really because they don't have really have much else to go on and they they've realized saying that Tim Waltz wants to give tampons to little boys is a little too weird. This is
Starting point is 00:17:48 Jacques, I want to read you one of these recipes. Does he really want to give tampons to boys? Yeah, he does. He said that. He said all boys need to put them in their butts all day of school. He said pussies. In their puss day. He said pussies.
Starting point is 00:18:05 Yeah, in their pussies. He said pussies, actually. He said pussies, pussies, or buttholes. Whatever you would like to call it. He calls it the PBB rule. I can't believe y'all are acting so inappropriate, talking about such dirty
Starting point is 00:18:21 things. That's just really out of character. Tim Waltz said it. White racist Tim Waltz said it um y'all are crazy i'm the diplomat okay i want to read you the ingredients of this uh recipe from the from the thing i'm just gonna read the ingredients because the um i'm hungry because the okay this is gonna make you really hungry. Okay. 1.5 pounds ground beef, a half cup of chopped onion, 16 ounces of bacon,
Starting point is 00:18:50 which is a pound. I don't know why you have to say 16 ounces. That's to minimize the damage. 10 ounces of chicken gumbo soup. See, I was so offended that even that... Okay, keep going. That's not an ingredient in a mishmash it's not an ingredient
Starting point is 00:19:08 what's the difference between a chicken gumbo soup canned and a jock gumbo soup don't take it into this the difference has is pitiful petty idiot dumb dumb poop doo doo-doo soup compared
Starting point is 00:19:26 to... That's the ingredient list of Jock's gumbo. Stop! One cup of doo-doo, two cups of poop, three cups of idiot. That is not what I even fucking said. One of my favorite with a sprinkling of diarrhea. One of my favorite dumb bits is that
Starting point is 00:19:41 Jock eats poop. He does. Hey, y'all. Y'all, could you please buy one of my paintings? My poop budget is through the roof this month. I'm so hungry. Y'all are the worst kind of people. Please, my mom won't let me eat her poop anymore.
Starting point is 00:19:58 We're just kidding. We're just kidding, Jock. Please buy a painting. I have 312 of them. It's a flash fire sale. To get Jck poop money. Please. Y'all, it's over for you bitches now.
Starting point is 00:20:12 Y'all think I'm some southern retard? Well, this joke's on you. I'm not. Period. Period. I'm a dictator now. Period. Period. Chicken gumbo soup as a
Starting point is 00:20:26 ingredient I mean this is the problem with the Midwest this is the problem with the Midwest they're rudderless cultureless people with no history and so they have to invent bullshit like this I'm sorry if you're from the Midwest I am from the Midwest I own it
Starting point is 00:20:42 I love my friends there I love my family there. But good Lord, just some of this absolute slop they feed here. When I encounter a hot dish, I start acting like the Queen of England.
Starting point is 00:20:56 I'm like, oh, these commoners really love their slop. They love putting black olives on shredded cheese. No, literally. It's like if you... I start acting like if you showed
Starting point is 00:21:09 Queen Elizabeth to like an uncontested Amazonian tribe when I have to see hot dish. Wow. What an interesting penis. Queen Elizabeth. Literally. Jacques, are you doing a racist Chinese accent? I am not doing that at all.
Starting point is 00:21:28 You are mistaken, Hessa. Kind of sounded like you were. I was not. Y'all are being so democratic. Step away. Yeah, we're being democratic as opposed to your dictatorship. Okay, Ben Shapiro about this, that's really crazy. Okay, this, I don't believe
Starting point is 00:21:48 you that he actually said this. It's real. I don't believe you. Why? Don't you believe me? No, I believe you. It's just so crazy. You think it's something he wouldn't say? No, I mean, that's a good point. Yeah. And so this is the longer quote here.
Starting point is 00:22:03 He's bowing down before her superior food knowledge because she's just an amazing cook. That's the one thing we've learned. Say it in the voice, please. She's given recipes in the past. By the way, not racist at all when the black vice president and president of the county is talking about the lack of flavor palette for white people because white people have no flavor palette. Apparently, white people hate spices. I mean, apparently, a white people taco is tuna and mayonnaise. That's because white people don't like spicy food at all,
Starting point is 00:22:29 which is presumably why between 15th and the 17th centuries, multiple European countries fought a series of wars over the spice route and the spice trade because they hate spices so darn much. So it's all stupidity, and it's all meant for the consumption of morons. What if I said that black people liked watermelon tacos? Would that be okay? Would that be okay? What if Trump said that black people like
Starting point is 00:22:51 fried chicken and watermelon tacos? Would that be okay? Which is just insane. That's a really great point, Ben. Yeah, that wouldn't be okay. That's so crazy. Didn't you... Don't you think that sounds like his normal voice like ben morris actual voice we don't need to get into my voice but it is insane that he he thinks that this
Starting point is 00:23:15 is any kind of gotcha when all these people do this yeah he's like oh yeah what if i say actually racist would it be okay if i said something that racist? Would it be okay if I said something that's actually racist? What if I said something so racist that it's something Camila Cabello would have posted on her Tumblr in 2010? What about that? What if that happened?
Starting point is 00:23:38 Can I see a picture of the racist Camila Cabello stuff? What did she say? It's just really bad probably it's basically what Ben Shapiro just said yeah yeah literally literally but um yeah there's
Starting point is 00:23:54 I saw another comment let me see if I wrote it oh if Walt isn't like spicy Ted Cruz Ted Cruz oh my god the Ted Cruz one is yeah the Ted Cruz one he's such a like it's so funny he's such a like hanger on like weirdo that even when the Republican establishment and, you know, Fox News have got the talking points in lock, you know, we're saying Tim is betraying the white race. We're saying white people do actually do love spicy food. Ted Cruz is so left out of a lot of the group chats or something, I think,
Starting point is 00:24:26 that he doesn't really know what the line is. So he ends up saying... He's Latino. Yeah, he is Hispanic. He's Cuban. He said in a tweet, he said Hispanics... He quote tweeted... Let me find the quote here. Yeah, it was just
Starting point is 00:24:42 a quote tweet of the video. And Ted Cruz just said, Hispanics are not tacos. Period. Guess what? They are. If you're listening to this and you're Hispanic. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:57 It kind of sounds like something he found out. He seems like he's kind of just sharing some new information. He just discovered that. By the way, Hispanics are not tacos. I guess they are an ethnicity to which I belong. I mean, that's so, it's so fucking crazy to say that. Like, what does he think?
Starting point is 00:25:16 He's like, oh, so you're calling Hispanics tacos? You're saying that's it? That's it? I don't. That's all we have? He doesn't even mention Hispanics at all in that post. He's trying to say something like, you know,
Starting point is 00:25:28 Hispanics are more than the food they eat and, you know, kind of playing to tacos as a line to Hispanics is, you know, too obvious. I think it really illustrates
Starting point is 00:25:44 It also you know also too obvious i think i think it really illustrates it it it also it really it it shows the it's a good demonstration of the difference between hispanic and latino that like ted cruz is hispanic for sure and like whereas i don't know, like Ricky Martin is Latino. Exactly. I don't get it. Jock once asked me the difference between Latino and Hispanic. I'm so confused. And I found an image, a graph that says, you know, these countries are considered Latino, these countries are considered Hispanic.
Starting point is 00:26:21 And then I put a blur filter on it like three times. So the graph was really blurry. You could barely read any language. And I sent it to him filter on it like three times. So the graph was really blurry. You could barely read anything. And I sent it to him and I was like, does this make sense? And he was clearly really, really high. And he was like, no, man, I can't read that graph. It's too blurry. And I was like, it's totally clear. What are you talking about? So Brazilians are Latinos, but they ain't Hispanics because they speak Portuguese. And I was like, Brazil. So Brazil's are Latinos,
Starting point is 00:26:43 but they ain't Hispanics. Cause they speak Portuguese. And I was like, yes, actually. I just want to say that he really did send me this really blurry image and he never revealed to me that that was on purpose. And I was so furious. It was like,
Starting point is 00:26:58 it was like, he found this chart on the subject that it was very clear to express. But as soon as you click the image to actually see what the chart says. Yeah. It was fucked up. It was actually. Jock, do you know the difference between Hispanics and Latinos? Can you guess?
Starting point is 00:27:14 Absolutely not. Guess. Make a guess. So break down the words. There's Latino and there's Hispanic. What do you think? What do you think about that? Well,
Starting point is 00:27:27 what I think about that is is that the... Don't Google. I'm not... Hands up. Hands up. Latinos are from Central and South America where Hispanics
Starting point is 00:27:44 are from Spain. Yeah, that's it pretty much. That's basically it. in South America where Hispanics are from Spain? Yeah. That's it, pretty much. That's basically it. Hispanics are anyone who has been colonized by Spain and Latinos are anyone in a nation who speaks Spanish, essentially. So wait, can Mexicans
Starting point is 00:27:57 be both Latino and Hispanic? Yes, they can. Yes, they can, Jock. I think I just got the... I just understood the entire Latin... I have a question for you. A lot of people prefer Latino, though, I think. Because they don't need it.
Starting point is 00:28:14 Why do you prefer them? Because it seems like you have a racial preference. You should explain why you feel that way. Okay, you're doing your Chinese accent again. I'm not doing the accent. I'm not even doing... So, Jock, I have a question for you. Yes, I can answer it.
Starting point is 00:28:31 The Philippines. Yes. Hispanic, at least you know. Or both. It's a Hispanic-Asian culture. Period. You're such a fast learner. I think they're kind of Latino, though. Someone said earlier this week that I have a good memory and I'm actually kind of smart. So think they're kind of Latino though I've actually Someone said earlier Someone said earlier This week that I have
Starting point is 00:28:46 A good memory And I'm actually Kind of smart So I've kind of been Taking it to heart In acting Who said that? Someone close
Starting point is 00:28:53 I can't remember I can't remember Who said that I can't remember No it was It was a woman That guy in the mirror Was it Rosie?
Starting point is 00:29:01 The crazy guy I see in my bathroom Every night when I Brush my teeth That fucking asshole the mirror was it crazy i see my back the guy i see in my bathroom every night when i brush my teeth that weird guy i told him that weird guy i told him he's in my bathroom i know ben is making a joke but it really does sound like a real thing that every night i brush my teeth i see a man in the mirror it's coming on the next episode of Otherworld. I swear to God. They gotta take that window out of everyone's bathroom
Starting point is 00:29:28 that that guy is in. I'm so sick of it. They gotta take that window out of all the bathrooms. Y'all, why do we put windows above sinks like that? You want people to come look through it every time he's there at us. I'm not even joking.
Starting point is 00:29:42 This mirror is 100% haunted. The ghost has followed me out of the bathroom from the mirror and is stalking me across the Galleria in Houston. I'm just trying to shop. I'm just trying to go to Urban Outfitters right before recording. Thank you for doing that, by the way. Guys, I just want to say, I went to the Texas State History Museum. That was a history museum that you were sending those pictures from.
Starting point is 00:30:09 Those photos of garbage. And the Contemporary Art Museum. And I went to TCBY. I had a cappuccino chiller, which is a drink I drank in my childhood often, which is just coffee and ice cream. And then I had a full-on three smoothies one one juice two smoothies totaling 72 ounces of fluid before this meeting i had a vegetable juice i had all my vegetables for the day so i could meet it up that's so healthy to have 72 ounces of it it sounds like
Starting point is 00:30:44 you're fucked up from them. It sounds like they got you really high. You think I'm fucked up? You think I sound worse? Was there ayahuasca in one of them? You think I got a little slur to me? Well, you did do the Chinese accent a few times. You always do, Jock.
Starting point is 00:31:00 You want to know what I had today, Jock? Yeah, tell me. So I woke up and i had a cachava bar cachava is a meal replacement uh company sorry sounds weak as a one period has over 120 micronutrients oh micronutrient looks sounds like a micro you got a micro penis you small ass thing period thank you I had that and then I had let me guess you had a soy estrogen bar
Starting point is 00:31:31 and no no I didn't no I went to Bon Creole in New Iberia and I got half a shrimp po' boy with some french fries a corona and then I drank on Crayol in New Iberia and I got half a shrimp po' boy with some French fries, a Corona. And then I drank half a margarita daiquiri and I impulse bought a bunch of baby chickens
Starting point is 00:31:53 and baby turkeys at the tractor supply to help replenish the flock at Kyla's house. And I named them all and I didn't name any of them Jock and I didn't name any of them. So they're all named back. Thanks for saying that. For hurting our feelings. I love the idea of just 50 chickens and turkeys all named Ben. Okay, it's kind of concerning that one half of a drink and a half and you're impulse buying chickens.
Starting point is 00:32:21 It's kind of funny. Dude, it was fun. I remember seeing that chat before the recording saying I'm getting drunk and then send a picture of the daiquiri. That's a big daiquiri. The worst daiquiri brand. Just so troublesome. Also, a frozen a margarita daiquiri. Isn't that just
Starting point is 00:32:37 a frozen margarita? But now I vape so I can't even talk about what is right and what's wrong. It is just a frozen margarita. I got the frozen margarita because all the other daiquiris are called like electric shock tornado tea. Blue pussy tornado.
Starting point is 00:32:53 72 dead in Martinville from Hurricane Katrina daiquiri. They're literally like pussy marijuana. It's like purple pussy marijuana. And then it's like a thousand calorie drink. So I was like, I'll do the margarita because it's... You deserve some calories. You've skinny-dubbed since the last
Starting point is 00:33:10 recording. I had a fucking fried shrimp po' boy. Period. I'm going to be honest. I ate a lot. I might have gotten either diabetes or gout from eating six for six days. I don't think you need to preface that with I need to be honest. No one's going to think you're lying.
Starting point is 00:33:26 Hey, y'all. I need to be honest here. So I had a total of, let's count this. I had, in six days, I had seven whole shrimp fried po'boys, fried shrimp po'boys with extra mayonnaise and sharp cheddar. Disturbing. Ugh and sharp cheddar disturbing
Starting point is 00:33:45 sharp cheddar on a po'boy yeah I mean any cheese with fish is kind of gross to me sacrosanct I'm a sick pervert I'm a sick fucking crazy I'm a lunatic
Starting point is 00:33:59 in my mind one is a tuna melt one is a tuna melt um yeah when is it when is it tuna melt that's you let her speak i think um i'm sorry i guess it's okay um let me think there's certain like dishes that are fine i do prefer like a pizza with anchovies. Anchovy pizza. If there's anchovies, I don't like if there's cheese on as well. My favorite pizza is...
Starting point is 00:34:35 I think we've talked about this before. I've never tried an anchovy. They're so good. They're so tasty. I love anchovies. I have a tin. I had a tin two I have a tin. I had a tin like two nights ago for dinner. That's the last thing you ate in the last few days?
Starting point is 00:34:51 It's just a tin of anchovies? I had a little bit of an omelet. Because you're looking very skinny, chic. Thank you. So that's all on Waltz, basically. Do we have anything else on Waltz? Yeah, I want to say one last thing about this Tim Waltz guy. Okay.
Starting point is 00:35:04 Speak, preach, sister. You can hit my Tim Walz. He's definitely having sex with Kamala Harris. And I know this because- Why? Because the way they like talk to each other just has like this sexual undertone. And I think that it would be really wrong for Americans to vote into power to people who are having sex. That could have dangerous results.
Starting point is 00:35:22 But Trump and Vance are having sex results. Do you think that Bill Clinton and George Bush Jr. have had sex? Yes, they were making out. George Bush Jr.? I have a theory here. Is that not his name? No, it's not. I don't know if you've seen Tim Waltz's
Starting point is 00:35:39 daughter. I don't mean to pull a Bill Maher here and speak creepily on children. I'm not sure how old she is. I think she's like 17 or 18. Maybe 19. Let's hope 19.
Starting point is 00:35:50 I'm not going to say I want to fuck her, so that's okay. But I will say that she is a ski instructor. And she's looking... I don't know why that's such a relevant detail. She looks... This is why it's relevant Jock she looks a little dykey she's looking a little dykey to me
Starting point is 00:36:09 and so if I can just finish up my thought here her Tim Walz's daughter if they get elected is going to be in the White House with the one and only Ella M Hoff
Starting point is 00:36:24 you think they're going to dyke it up I think they might dyke it up with the one and only Ella. Ella Emhoff. You think they're going to dyke it up? I think they might dyke it up. Is what I'm getting out of here. Because what's more fun, because it's basically like your stepsister in some way, you know, because present mommy and daddy. I'm stuck in the dryer.
Starting point is 00:36:39 Ella, who's stuck in the dryer? Exactly. One of them is going to end up getting stuck in the dryer stuck in the White House dryer who is Ella Ezra Ermroff who is that again guess who that is
Starting point is 00:36:54 first of all can you get the name what's this person's name no for real I don't know what Ella Ermroff you think that's being for I don't know what Ella Erndorf you think that's a name I don't remember
Starting point is 00:37:09 well Ella L-A Erndorf Ella Erndorf you're just you're getting
Starting point is 00:37:14 intentionally getting further no I'm not intentionally getting further who do you think she is who do you think
Starting point is 00:37:21 they are give me your honest guess at her name I want to know what you think the name is. I have a blur. I remember that she did some colorful knitted stuff. I remember she told me she had a really good memory
Starting point is 00:37:31 the other day, but I don't remember much else about her after that. She's not Bernie Sanders' daughter, but she's someone's stepdaughter. Kamala's daughter. She's Kamala Harris' stepdaughter. She're so right about that. She's Kamala Harris' stepdaughter.
Starting point is 00:37:49 Dude, she must be having a crazy brat summer right now. Her name is Ella Ermgoth. Just wondering Why isn't it Harris? No, not she, they. Or they, them. It's they, them? I'll show you a they, them. Period. she they or they them it's they them? no it's she her she period
Starting point is 00:38:06 don't make me show you what being a they them really means you fucking twinks do you feel like you're adequately represented by Che Ella Emhoff I definitely feel more represented by
Starting point is 00:38:23 Che Diaz than Ella Irmgoff what if L.A. Irmgoff or whatever what if Kamala stepped out with Che Diaz now we're talking now everyone's getting stuck in the dryer everyone's getting stuck
Starting point is 00:38:39 in that dryer she just seems like a petite they need Che they need Che's dick Ella Irmgoff has this kind of like tiny She just seems like a petite They need Shay I'm thinking about Ella Ella Erbdorfen Has this kind of like tiny Scared gecko lizard energy She has big eyes
Starting point is 00:38:53 Glasses and tiny body And she's annoying What are you talking about? What the hell? What do you mean what the hell I'm talking about? Just tuning in and Jacques is describing a lizard What the hell?'m talking about jac is describing a lizard i was describing how we were doing a bit about foreign leaders getting stuck in the dryer because shea diaz wanted to yeah they all want to fuck shea diaz you just started describing what you
Starting point is 00:39:15 were seeing in the room i was just the the trump okay when trump's niece spoke at the RNC and she's like 16 and all of the right wing freaks are like wow I want to fuck this little kid so bad she tore though she's going to be scary
Starting point is 00:39:40 in a few years when people are like oh Barron is going to Barron is the Julius know julius caesar's figure that's gonna you know rule america baron is baron is a caesar level one like 200 iq like not 5d chess playing genius who is so who has never spoken in public ever for no reason definitely not because he's so autistic that he would like talk about roblox yeah yeah he would ask who wants to go to wendy's yeah can someone get can we get baked potatoes from wendy's or he would just describe a dinosaur he would say a dinosaur and be like
Starting point is 00:40:17 if you they should some a brave reporter should shout out to Barron at a press conference like 1,112 times 119. Literally. See if he just spits out the answer. Or be like, Minecraft terms of service. Can I please read just an excerpt from Kai Madison, the Trump's granddaughter's speech? Yes. I just found it as a transaction. Kai Madison. Wow.
Starting point is 00:40:46 KIA. She's gonna run this fucking country. To be honest. Oh, good God. KIA is how it's spelled. KIA. Good God. Can you read the excerpt?
Starting point is 00:41:00 Hi everyone. My name is Kai Madison Trump. I am the granddaughter of Donald Trump. I am speaking today to share the side of my grandpa that people don't often see. To me, he is just a normal grandpa. He gives us candy and soda when our parents aren't looking. He always wants to know how we're doing in school.
Starting point is 00:41:18 When I made the high honor roll, he printed it out to show his friends how proud he was of me. He calls me during the middle of the school day to ask how my golf game is going. I'm stuck in the dryer. I'm stuck in the dryer. I'm stuck in the dryer.
Starting point is 00:41:35 Call Jay. Call Jay. Hi, I'm stuck in the dryer. I need shade DS here right away. That is funny on its own that he calls in the middle of the school day and just says, like, how's your golf game? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He calls me during the middle of the school day
Starting point is 00:41:56 to ask how my golf game is going and tells me all about his. But I have to remind him that I'm in school and that I'll have to call him back later. When we play golf together, if I'm not on his team, he'll try to get me. Are you just reading the whole speech now? It's not that much. Start at the beginning. Don't make me, okay?
Starting point is 00:42:16 When we play golf together, if I'm not on his team, he'll try to get inside of my head. I know. And he is always surprised that I don't let him get to me but I have to remind him I'm a Trump too you're a fucking gull you fucking dyke look at those pants
Starting point is 00:42:34 oh grandpa I'm not gonna even continue the speech because it goes really long yeah but that was a pretty good little moment and I'm really thank you I'm so thrilled. Thank you. I'm so proud of being... Should we get back to the other
Starting point is 00:42:49 old creep talking to little children here? I don't know. We could just leave and never talk again. No, okay. I'm kidding. Let's do the old creep bunny joke. Yes. To the bed. Yes. Yeah, that's not that interesting. I mean, come on.
Starting point is 00:43:05 I was under the bed while I was watching TV up on top of him. Yeah. So what do you do for danger? Okay. For danger? Okay. That's a crazy question to ask an eight-year-old. What do you do for danger?
Starting point is 00:43:18 What do you do for danger? Let's resume. Who set this up? No, and by the way, for everyone at home, Bill Maher is housing a glass of Grey Goose on the rocks during this. He is fucked up.
Starting point is 00:43:33 He showed up with a drink in his hand. He's lit every single episode of this show. He's completely lit. Every single episode. He's so annoying looking. He just has a... I don't ever want to make a Harry Potter reference. You can tell how uncomfortable
Starting point is 00:43:50 he's making this. There's a reason they had to pick kids under 10. The 16 year old is actively pivoting away from him on the couch. He's looking at the farthest pair of shoes that he can find in the room. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:08 He's just like absolutely, he doesn't want to talk to Bill. Yeah. He's old enough that he's like, he can clock Bill as like, this guy is a weird freak. Yes. Oh, my God. He looks so uncomfortable. Wait, let's hear...
Starting point is 00:44:27 Wait. One thing. If we ever transvestigate Bill Maher, we can call it the clockability special. Clockability. Okay. Wow. Okay.
Starting point is 00:44:39 Thank you. That was it. Love. Love. That was so good. Thanks, Jock. Thank you. I thought that was really going to be revolutionary. It was. that was so good thanks thank you that was really gonna be revolutionary
Starting point is 00:44:45 it was it was revolutionary um okay let's let's hit let's hear what let's hear what she does for danger let's hear what she does for danger for kicks for kicks like what like what well i don't know you tell me i'm you're the you're the kid
Starting point is 00:45:03 i'm asking questions i don't know like You tell me. You're the kid. I'm asking questions. That's what I'm going to know. Like when I was your age, what I did for kicks was, what's that? Phones? The phone. Yeah, I'm sure. She was talking about Roblox. Yeah, I was going to ask you if you should download it.
Starting point is 00:45:18 No, you shouldn't even have a phone. Three? Three? That was my reaction in my head because I couldn't say that out loud. Three? That's my reaction in my head because I couldn't say that out loud. Three? That's just so wrong. That's so wrong. I mean, three.
Starting point is 00:45:31 And what do you do on your phone? I play Roblox, Minecraft, and I have it on my own YouTube channel. This kid is so cute. I hate what he's doing to this kid. At this age. At eight years old. At this age, that was my old. At this age. That was my
Starting point is 00:45:46 line. Oh, good God. You're reading my lines. I don't even know. I mean, right. At this age. Don't you think so? Don't you think so? I know. The amount of time we just don't even think so.
Starting point is 00:46:01 I gotta tell you, they're just crazy. I mean, right? Yeah. Isn't that crazy to have a phone at three? I don't think I have a phone at eight. I think I got my first phone in fourth grade and it was like a really old Samsung Android. Jacques, when did you get
Starting point is 00:46:17 your first phone? Probably like 10 or 11. I still had the same number since then. Okay, period. Ben, I remember you got the singular. I got mine in. The singular walkie-talkie phone. Yes, I had my Nextel. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:35 And then I got an actual phone in... I got it kind of late. I was in high school. I think I was a sophomore. Yeah. But, I mean, AB-olds shouldn't have phones. I mean, I hate to... No, absolutely. It is fucked up for her to have a phone.
Starting point is 00:46:49 I think it was in sixth grade when I got my first phone. It was a flip phone, a little Kyocera. I mean, also, like, I feel bad for this kid because it's like your parents are probably encouraging you to start a YouTube channel and to go on Bill Maher and have him call you a dumb, woke little piece of well i think all kids that age like i think they do
Starting point is 00:47:10 love just like having a youtube channel you know they yeah yeah they i think there's nothing necessarily wrong with i think there is something wrong with it in that it's like they can actually do it but it's like asking a kid like people are always like oh 90 of kids want to grow up to be youtubers and it's like yeah i don't know that's like it's like how in the 60s 90 of kids wanted to grow up to be astronauts it's like they you're just asking little kids and that's all they're seeing I want to grow up to be a YouTuber I've always wanted to be a YouTuber I think you can do that you're pretty much a YouTuber
Starting point is 00:47:52 yeah I know but I've just always wanted to be like Mr. Beast sized or Mr. Beast sized you've just always wanted to be incredibly famous yes especially on YouTube. Which is why you get mad
Starting point is 00:48:08 at famous people. Yeah, but Chapel Roan is not why. It's not out of jealousy. You knew exactly who I was talking about here. Everyone's been asking me this week and my anger towards her comes from a place of my heart. Every little dumb prick on the internet
Starting point is 00:48:24 who wants to pop a pimple I'm defending Chapel again I'm so sick of this Chapel yeah we don't need to talk about it Ornjot can defend himself no I don't want to I neither want to defend myself every single time you bring up Chapel Rowan
Starting point is 00:48:41 the comments go crazy the comments get so mad it's the same talking points every time yeah i hate her red hair okay period okay now it's so clear that you're just jealous of someone who's famous no i'm not i'm a dictator i'm famous myself they think you're proving the point that you have delusions now about being can you define what a dictator is yeah it's someone who has complete control
Starting point is 00:49:09 of an entire region without any what region are you saying you have control over I've taken over Austin and Louisiana so far and I'm spreading shut the fuck up you're living in my free world now, bitch.
Starting point is 00:49:26 There's no sign of the Gonsolin Reign reaching. The Gonsolin Reign. The Gonsolin Reign has not reached where I am. Don't make me squish your tiny head like a mosquito on my arm. I think I hear horses out your window. Oh my god, what is that? We're here
Starting point is 00:49:42 about to declare the Gonsolin family. Bring out your poopall poop Emperor's hungry Bring out your poop I hate y'all Emperor Gonsolin demands all the poop Y'all are worse than people who do musicals
Starting point is 00:49:58 Wow, oh my god That's crazy, I guess like a squire just rolled up outside your where you're where you were you're staying and demanded all the poop would have too many nutrients in it for jock that is a grave exaggeration of my dictatorship. What is? My poop killing you because it's too nutrient dense?
Starting point is 00:50:29 I'm not asking for poop. Oh. Well, we'll see. I'm not asking for poop. I'm telling for poop. I'm telling you to put me in poop. Do you guys... Jock, I kind of want you to get yelled at more by everyone in the comments for shitting on Chapel Roan for no reason. It's not a no reason thing. I find her lyrics substance. I love Chapel Roan for no reason. It's not a no reason thing. I find her lyrics substance.
Starting point is 00:50:46 I love Chapel Roan. I've fully turned on Chapel Roan. I have... You're such a fucking liar. You probably got fucked. And it's not because I'm trying to placate the commenters. You got fucked by like a twink who was listening to Chapel Roan
Starting point is 00:50:57 and that's what changed your mind. You must have really spun around on her because if anything, the comments would have made you less likely to. Exactly. I have ODD. If someone tells me it's stupid, I don't. I would.
Starting point is 00:51:10 Yeah. But I genuinely find a couple of her songs to be really good. And I think she's kind of just, she is a kind of down-home girl. Jock, your industry plant on Chapel Run is very intriguing to me because i think it unveils something um a very um dark and silly machination here um so she's literally i think to you anyone who just succeeds in an industry is an industry plant whereas she's just she's just succeeded in her in her career you know it doesn't mean that make this make her an industry plan an industry plan to me is someone who has been career. It doesn't mean that make her an industry plant. An industry plant to me is
Starting point is 00:51:44 someone who has been oftentimes from a wealthy family or a well-connected family. If she called me directly because I post my number publicly, she just called me directly and settled this privately, I would stop saying weird things about her.
Starting point is 00:51:59 What do you think she would say to you? You just want to talk to her. You just want to talk to her and beg her for poop. You just want to beg her her. You just want to... You just want to talk to her and beg her for poop. I don't want to talk to her. Nope. You just want to beg her for poop. I want no one's poop. That is a grave misunderstanding.
Starting point is 00:52:10 Please, please give me poop. All right, chapel, can you please make me famous? Chappelle, bro. Please. Give me your poop. I can't believe... No.
Starting point is 00:52:20 We haven't gotten a call from Winston in a while. I hope he's okay. Oh, my God. Oh, God. I also re-listened to that episode and Winston was not his name. we haven't gotten a call from Winston in a while I hope he's okay oh my god I also re-listened to that episode and Winston was not his name that was the town he was in I don't remember what his name was
Starting point is 00:52:33 no his name was Winston but I think he once referred to his name as being the town's name look he was locked in a box dude what are you expecting to have perfect clarity locked in a box I don't know why you keep victim blaming Winston. Tessa's favorite pastime besides baseball is victim blaming. Baseball.
Starting point is 00:52:56 Don't you dare make fun of my speech impediment. So, Jock, do you think it's okay for Chaperone to say that she doesn't want her fans to overwhelm her in public? Yeah. Do you want me to find the quote here? Let me find the quote here. I'm curious. Get ready, because I'm only going to become a fan just to overwhelm her. Okay.
Starting point is 00:53:14 How would you approach Chaperone and Grilla? Would you Mr. Malkovich her? How do you enjoy appropriating all queer culture for the sake of making money when you have no genuine queer culture? How is a lesbian appropriating queer culture? What does that even mean?
Starting point is 00:53:28 What is queer culture? This is so stupid. Hey, Chapel Rhone, why do you have the most boring lyrics in the world that get me nowhere, that do nothing for me, that I can't relate to on an emotional level at all? Can we unpack the appropriating queer culture thing here? Because I'm genuinely curious.
Starting point is 00:53:49 I think she's a straight person that wants to be bisexual or gay. Why do you think she's a straight person? Why do you think she's a straight person who's lying about being bisexual? Because of the way that she incorporates drag culture into her look and she always talks about drag. It's such a straight white woman thing. So simply because Chaperone is a white
Starting point is 00:54:11 woman who claims to, and she's into drag, means that she's de facto a straight white woman lying about being into drag and being a lesbian because of why. She's an industry plant because she's not an industry she's being paid to create lesbians and queer people jock she's not an industry plant she just has a job and
Starting point is 00:54:34 is successful I have a job I'm so that's the gator literally it she she's massively more successful than you or I it It's not even comparable, Jock. Look, I think that she is very popular in the music world. Who's her record label? Who planted her? Who planted her? Mr. The U.S. government.
Starting point is 00:54:57 Okay. So you just throw these terms around. You have no idea what they mean. What? U.S. government? That means United States government. That's one of them. I know exactly what that means. I just don't get it. I don't get it. I don't get what you hate her I feel like it's it's kind of a tired critique. This was true for like when this was true like maybe five years ago
Starting point is 00:55:16 You know My guns and I think that you two are members of the Secret Service and are probably trying to coerce me. You can't seriously defend your claims here, which is depressing. Because you have some very serious claims. Okay, okay. Let me make another claim. The claim that she's not lesbian is crazy to me.
Starting point is 00:55:36 It's wild. Do you need to see her eat pussy? No. What if I should do a video of Chaperone eating? So you don't think the lyric I heard you like magic I've got a wand and a rabbit you don't like that line
Starting point is 00:55:52 you don't think it's good and why do you think lesbians aren't capable of doing a wand and a rabbit those are two different sex toys and this one and Melissa Etheridge never got this horny and Lisa Loeb and Tracy Chapman never got this horny and Melissa Etheridge never got this horny and Lisa Loeb and Tracy Chapman never got this horny and then
Starting point is 00:56:07 here comes Chapel Rowan and Billie Eilish Lesbians can't mention their okay Billie Eilish is different How is Chapel Rowan and Billie Eilish different? They're both women benefiting from queer culture I think Billie Eilish is like
Starting point is 00:56:24 as a selling point Billie Eilish is like fake Latina am I being annoying you're saying these things like quote unquote benefiting from queer culture and I don't understand what you mean
Starting point is 00:56:39 I think it's literally just because they are gay people with jobs that is why you're mad at them I'm starting to think just because they are gay people with jobs. That is why you're mad at them. And they're successful. I'm starting to think about a lot of gay people I know that have jobs that I don't like. Whoops. All right.
Starting point is 00:56:54 I just wish you were able to... I'm genuinely compelled to hear why you... Where this deep well of hatred for Chaperone comes from. And I'm trying to help you articulate any of your ideas. Because I'm genuinely curious. I find the lyrics to be of zero substance. But
Starting point is 00:57:09 as someone who actually never watched Modern Family, tell me what the setup is and who the characters are. So it's a traditional family. Oh, we skipped to the perfect part. Oh no. Two parents, three kids. The parents are like a man and a woman? Yeah. What parents, three kids.
Starting point is 00:57:27 The parents are like a man and a woman? Yeah. What? That's ridiculous. And then it's gay parents with an adoptive daughter. Okay. And then a very young wife and a very old husband with a kid. Nothing wrong with that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:44 Nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with that. Oh, Sofia Viagra, she's hot, huh? Oh, good lord. He's talking to two eight-year-old girls when he says that, by the way. Two eight-year-old girls, one of them is Latino, one of them is Asian, by the way. Sofia Viagra,
Starting point is 00:58:00 she's hot, huh? To two children. Oh my god. I don't know who those people are. Okay, so a gay couple, and then no Eskimos? What the fuck? I don't know what that word is. Eskimo?
Starting point is 00:58:19 I don't know what an Eskimo is. This guy is crazy. Eskimo are the indigenous people of the north, of northern Canada, Alaska. What is he dropping the Eskimo thing for? You mean a foreigner? What? A foreigner? Sorry, sorry.
Starting point is 00:58:33 No, a foreigner. One second. How did they find kids more conservative than him? It's so funny. How do you get that from that clip? What are you talking about? What the fuck are you talking about? Anyways, one second, one second, one second. It's very funny that Bill Maher thinks that
Starting point is 00:58:46 anyone under 22 has the vocabulary and political awareness of a brown student. Yeah. And you mean Brown the College. Of course I mean Brown the College. Yes, yes, yes.
Starting point is 00:59:00 He's a black or brown POC student. No, Brown, the college. Um, he's clearly saying Eskimo here to try to go to these eight year old girls into canceling him because he thinks that that's how the world works. Yeah. He's like, oh, he's so stupid. And so did they have any, uh, gay parents? Cause the normal parents are kind of, there's no, we can have normal parents anymore normal parents are kind of... There's no trans parents.
Starting point is 00:59:25 I don't know if we can have normal parents anymore. That's disgusting that there's no trans parents. Oh, my God. Wait, Eskimo's the one that built the igloos? Igloos, correct. That's right, igloos. What is he talking about? Yes.
Starting point is 00:59:39 And you know who the first people were in Alaska? They were Asian. He's saying this to an Asian kid. That's why they still look Asian. That's why they still look Asian. He's saying this to an Asian 8-year-old. This is insane. Let's keep watching.
Starting point is 01:00:01 I need to watch more. I need to watch more. The indigenous people, they came over from Asia. They went all the way from Russia. And there's a part called the Bering Strait, where it's just a very narrow way. They call it the Bering Gange in France now. Where North America starts at the very northern part of Canada and Alaska. I can see I'm losing the crowd.
Starting point is 01:00:22 His voice is... Don't you think that's kind of interesting that humans came all the way across Asia and then that's how we got into North America? Yeah. That's why Indians look Asiatic. And then they went all the way down into South America. He's got one of the worst voices in the world.
Starting point is 01:00:40 They went all the way, North America, all the way down. Of course, this took thousands of years through the isthmus of Panama into South America They went all the way, North America, all the way down. Of course, this took thousands of years. Through the Isthmus of Panama into South America. This is so... What the fuck is he talking about? And below that is just, you know, public parking, nothing. I mean, Antarctica. You wouldn't want to be there, would you?
Starting point is 01:00:58 You wouldn't want to be there, man. How have you traveled? My family travels every summer to Europe. Europe? Yeah. That's a great town. Where in Europe? So my mom is from Bulgaria. Bulgaria? I know the capital, Sofia.
Starting point is 01:01:14 Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. He just fist bumped her. All right. So, and your mother's name is Sofia? No. Wouldn't that be something if it was given the name of the capital okay so you go to bulgaria that's interesting not you don't meet a lot of people who are from bulgaria yeah they're mostly
Starting point is 01:01:31 yeah and we also go to like the uk we were gonna go to london and paris yeah london i love london sure yeah in Paris? Yeah, London. I love London. Sure. Yeah. This is crazy, dude. Yeah, two summers ago we went to Korea. Why is he laughing? He's laughing. Six weeks. We got to explore all the other parts of town. We got to drive the subway. We got to eat live
Starting point is 01:01:59 octopus. It was super fun. Oh, yeah. I was kind of dead because we chopped it into pieces. What kind of music do they play in Korea? Soul? You know, like, K-pop? Oh, my good fucking God. He's so fucking stupid, dude.
Starting point is 01:02:16 It's, like, so crazy. He just, he, like, loves to attach himself to younger and younger and younger. This has started off with the Bella Thorne. I know he interviewed Bella Thorne and that's one of the most painful things I've ever watched. He recently interviews Hock Toy. He's jumping another generation lower.
Starting point is 01:02:35 I think Hock Toy is like she's older. Maybe she's younger. She's progressively moving to younger and younger. He's definitely getting someone in here to do booking for him that's like really pushing the boundaries of what builds very narrow
Starting point is 01:02:52 lane as capable of a company. He is drinking vodka. Yeah. Yes. Yes. He's always drinking. He's usually chiefing blunts. He's usually chain smoking blunts too. He's not because they're kids. That's why.
Starting point is 01:03:08 So sad. Come on, Bill. Bill, get sober. Get the fuck... Get your fucking shit together, Bill. Check your inventory and then check into... Check your inventory, Bill. Check your inventory.
Starting point is 01:03:24 Let's keep going. Let's go to a random spot. He should get a gay camera. At least we can... It has to be something objective. That's interesting. So you think The Weeknd is number one and Spotify... I saw it on the internet or something.
Starting point is 01:03:38 Right. Or someone told me. That's the problem. I mean, she's probably right. That's the problem. A lot of people are saying the weekend is number one. The weekend is number one, I think, by the way. A lot of people, Saddam is saying.
Starting point is 01:03:55 There's a bunch of different lists on the internet that say completely different stuff. There's nothing. Well, I mean, say you're interested in climate change. So you start looking on that. That's a big issue. He doesn't interested in climate change. So you start looking on that. That's a big issue. He doesn't believe in climate change. Okay, climate. It leads you to weather.
Starting point is 01:04:10 Then you're looking up stuff. Wait, sorry. Have you ever thought of starting as a child actor? Does he believe in climate change? Sorry, Jack, one second. So at that part where he is talking about climate change, so look, let's say you're interested in climate change climate change all of a sudden you're seeing childbirth you're watching pornography he actually says that yes it's in that clip i sent you oh
Starting point is 01:04:34 that's the part of the clip where he's like he's like um i was looking for that part change so you start looking on that that's a big issue i mean your kids will worry about it for a good reason okay climate it leads you to weather then you're looking on that. That's a big issue. I mean, your kids will worry about it for a good reason. Okay, climate. It leads you to weather. Then you're looking up stuff about the weather. Then it leads you to Stormy Daniels. Alright, now you're into porn. Now you're into a porn site. What do you do? I exit it.
Starting point is 01:04:56 There you go. Oh my god. You hear that, Paige? That is so insane. Yeah, I would go where all the tabs are open and I would just close it like a bunch of times. The CCP should... Sometimes it might still show up, so I keep
Starting point is 01:05:12 doing it until the tab closes. Yeah, I think when you're 10, you gotta erase your browser history. How is this? Who is letting him do this? This is insane. Listeners, if you want a full episode of us
Starting point is 01:05:28 doing a commentary on the entire episode of the film, we should do just a spin-off show where we just review all the episodes of Club Random. I can't. It's called Club Double Random. I would do this one.
Starting point is 01:05:44 Club More Random. I would do this one. Club More Random. Club Normal. Club More Normal. Club Predictable. I would do one for this episode. So comment if you want that, you guys. Comment if you want that.
Starting point is 01:05:59 In the meantime, remember to find bonus episodes of Secret Arrangements on Patreon. Weekly bonus episodes, mixes, sometimes other stuff like that jock is gonna have some video com uh video content coming soon i'm gonna get a second episode of heat seekers up yeah as well i'm gonna maybe next week back on amazing uh well until then everyone goodbye bye If you do, love will lose its brilliance But if you're excited about love, you can't say anything Thank you.

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