Seeking Derangements - SD 365 - Luigi Man-I-Gonna Nut

Episode Date: December 11, 2024

Ben here, on todays episode Hesse, Jacques, Max and I talk all things Luigi: his eyebrows, his GoodReads, his alleged assassination, and what this all really means. Plus Jacques slams his roommate and family and then forces us all to do a very radical therapeutic exercise.

And the logs were so quiet, descending the stairs, past estates and mansions We worked so away Hello everyone, welcome to Seeking Derangements. This is Ben, I'm here with Jock and Hessa for Marmal. And Max is joining us again. Thank you. This is a free episode, so if you'd like to hear any of our back catalog or weekly bonus episodes, you can subscribe to it. You can suck my dick, or you can go to patreon.com

slash SeekingDurain. SeekingDurain. Yeah, because when you suck Max's dick, when he comes, he says in ecstasy, he says the entirety of a locked episode. He repeats it verbatim very quickly. I have a seizure that sounds like the RSS link.

I think people should go out there and take our free episode and remix them. And make them... Yeah, they could. They definitely could. People need to make YouTube videos of our best bits. Can someone please make a YouTube

video of Ben as Bad Bunny and me as Caitlyn Jenner hanging out? Funny how you say that. I'm currently in Puerto Rico. I thought you were going to say I'm in Caitlyn Jenner's house.

I'm not. I kind of would rather be. That sounds amazing. But guys, this is a rare episode in which we have major breaking news that landed an hour before we were supposed to record. They got Luigi's Mansion. I am of course talking about Luigi's Mansion being apprehended at a

McDonald's in El Churro, Pennsylvania. The healthcare assassin has it seems like it's him. We don't really know for sure yet, but from all of the things that have come out from his, you know,

various social media pages, he was found with multiple silencers, um, and multiple IDs. Um, and he's also incredibly sexy, which I think we all were expecting him to be. Oh,

whoa, whoa, whoa whoa back it up huge w for italians it's a huge huge but has it doesn't his name sounds like if you had to make up an italian name on this his name is luigi's mansion and i love that for him manigone is that how you say it i think it's manjone man but let me let me let me just say to y'all, I love that his fake name is Mark Rosario. This guy is fucking sexy. I love anyone. Okay, so when you look at his,

he had fake IDs out. Oh, he was pretending to be Latina. Wow, this is such a Latina world belt moment. Wow. So yeah. So he had a fake New Jersey identification card.

Beautiful, sexy eyebrows. I mean, you should pay for those kind of eyebrows. I personally have only cried once during a haircut. And it was because a woman started trimming my eyebrows. The guy said, you don't have any hair to cut.

She started, she started, she started, this is when I still had hair. But she, she literally, she started trimming my eyebrows. I started crying.

And that's the only time they've ever been trimmed in my life. And they used to be just a tiny bit thicker. And it's devastating. It was a permanent eyebrow trim? Like, I don't, some people don't know this,

but if you trim your eyebrows, sometimes they won't grow back ever. Yeah, they don't. Maybe you had your eyebrows trimmed by a witch who had enchanted shears. That's absolutely not true. It is in your hair and your eyebrows grow back.

That total idiot of a bonehead cousin of mine that I won't name, named Udi. He in high school shaved his eyebrows off when he got bored. That's so fucking funny. And so the next day he went to high school

and he didn't realize that when you shave your eyebrows they are gone for like three or four months it takes so long and that's probably what drove him into being the adult loser

he is today cousin smackdown 10 minutes into the free episode amazing I hope we have no regrets about that but Jock let me steer this conversation really quick i have no regrets about it because i would fight i would fist fight him every day that's amazing i love to hear that um let's get back to the shooter um luigi i think the eyebrows are a major thing here because he was i mean those are his only identifiable feature and they were of course also one of his

most prominent features you know like he was over the nose mask up beautiful eyes beautiful eyebrows in every photo and then he was caught at a mcdonald's with while still wearing his mask because some pennsylvania hick has never seen beautiful mediter Mediterranean eyebrows like that before. It was like, oh, this is that shooter. It's kind of apt that his name is Mangione because I think that means eater in Italian. So he was at McDonald's. He was eating.

He's a feeder. And it's funny that he when they looked at his weapon that he did the shooting with, it was the vacuum cleaner from Luigi's Mansion. He used it to capture the soul. when they looked at his weapon that he did the shooting with, it was the vacuum cleaner from Luigi's mansion. Wow. He used it to capture the soul of the healthcare guy.

That makes him even sexier. Yeah. All Luigi jokes aside, this guy is actually so much sexier than... He's a dime. Luigi is already so sexy. Stop. I agree. No, no, seriously. No, I i totally agree and also i i want to say this i don't know what news source this was but they did release recently that um luigi was rated the most sexy mario character or most attractive mario character

down the board everyone knows it's fucking yoshi okay everyone wants to not yoshi in the ass oh that's not Yoshi. Would you guys rather? What would you rather do? I would go Mario. I would go Mario first. First of all, I want to identify Max as a furry. Let's begin with that Max drink. Yoshi doesn't have any fur. He's hairless.

Yoshi's a reptile. Yoshi is a reptile. Doesn't matter. It's in the same case. Don't oh my god me. Do not oh my god me because you are embarrassed that you want to have sex with an animal

with scales. I'm not embarrassed. I'm proud to say that I was fucking crazy in the ass. I get it, Max. I get it. In the cloaca, I think. Yeah, whatever. Because he lays Also, before you say anything else, if you say anything else, Max, just

imitate the noise that Yoshi makes when you fuck him in the ass. It would be... Well, first of all, I would start with two in the pink, one in the stink. Which means I have... It's a cloaca. I think it's one hole. Well, that's the thing. I'd have my whole fist up his ass. Okay.

Well, Jacques, I have a question for you. I have a question for you. Would you rather walk in on your roommate having sex with five Luigi's or one Yoshi? Oh, fuck. One Yoshi. Yoshi's cleaner. Yeah, for sure.

I don't know. Luigi makes it sick. Imagine hearing, Yahoo! one Yoshi Yoshi's cleaner yeah for sure he's making state imagine you're like yahoo over and over and looped on each other wah Mario it's Mario fucking him that's really messed up from a closed room I would be

incredibly impressed if the roommate that I hate... Roommate Smackdown incoming on the free episode. Let's go. Yeah, let's go. Let's go. Now that I know that he's leaving, I can say whatever I want.

And by that, Jock means he's dying. He's in hospice care. Yes. Well, apparently he's able to leave very suddenly because his friend's house burned down and they must start a new caravan. I'm like,

you burned down his house? It seems like you know a lot of information about this. Let me just say something. This guy... By the way, you're sitting in a burned out husk of a room right now does that have anything to do with it lights out of state lately

look look i i've never committed arson i've never been charged with arson no the one time i lit a room on fire it was put out my i i was i was so young i was immediately forgiven I was like 10 years old I was forgiven for what I did by the way I'd just like to preface that would I go back to the question would I prefer to hear my roommate getting

that same roommate getting DP'd by 7 Luigi's or 1 Yoshi I think I would prefer the 7 the 7 Luigi's pounding him out. Where'd seven come from? We can't count. It was five, but yes, it's still the same.

It's the same basis. No, no, no. The reason I would have less... I would have less... It wouldn't be easy for me to hear my roommate's moans like I did before. If he was having sex with a Yoshi,

I'd be able to distinguish his... But like, you know, seven Luigis going, Yahoo! Oh, yeah! Yeah, yeah. Into him, it's definitely not going to bother me. That's not going to bother you? Not as much.

You know, I'm going to say well he's I mean honestly I'm just I would be so happy for him because he's just such a wound to the world a wound to the world that's so funny

no I mean literally you're such a poet sometimes Jacques honestly well I call him the wound because he's literally got staph infection wounds and on his on his fucking head and we celebrate christ oh my god well that's terrible i think that um the um health insurance killer if he told him there was a health insurance CEO two inches above your prostate Stop! I hate that so much I hate that so much I hate that

but no he is so he is so sexy and right now everyone I mean this did just break like two hours ago that they caught a potential suspect but everyone has you know he's been doxxed and people have been coming through social media people have been his reading his grades um his good reads are

really really good he wants to read the paul scalas the lindy man book yes i did it wasn't ted kaczynski who's also in there he's pretty good yeah he was praising the unabomber manifesto he was. He was also found with the manifesto which I'm really curious to see what comes out of that. I wonder if there's any sex scenes or jacking off scenes in his manifesto. I really hope so.

Let me say something. That would really show the corporate healthcare companies if there were nudes or some kind of jacking off videos in his manifesto. Maybe it reveals if he's circumcised or uncircumcised that would be a very important detail in his manifesto personally

this is a first in history where we're seeing a man, the most wanted man in the world the second he gets captured become the most wanted to be fucked him everyone wants to fuck him by the faggot bureau of investigation yes exactly that's right exactly it's so it's so funny how everyone like this is like i think the

last one of the last major like historic events that has united almost everyone i think the only people who are saying that this is bad are like people stuck in like the radical center who are just like shunning people for like celebrating political violence or whatever. But I saw the United, what is it? Healthcare company, whatever the fuck it's called. They posted a message of mourning of the CEO on their Facebook page. And it had to be taken down because it received 23,000 laugh reacts in like an hour.

It's like, it's so crazy because that's Facebook use. Those are people's moms laughing. Hitting the crying laughing emoji on a Facebook post of someone being shot in the head. Also, I love that this started a trend.

All major companies that had profiles of their CEOs all got scrubbed. All the healthcare ones especially, obviously. When a bad day to be a healthcare CEO. They're all just going to fire private security. They'll be fine. I don't feel like this will

inspire copycats. Unfortunately not. Let's all be honest. We all know that this is somehow an inside job because a man of that stature... No, I don't agree. Let me just say, it might be complicated. It might be...

If this man was not supposed to die, he would have had the security someone had to have tipped him off enough to convince him that he was safe to be like you're gonna be killed so don't have security on this day someone tipped off the shooter

to say hey this guy won't have a security guard with him at this specific minute that makes no sense that's not what happened look I'm being a conspiracy theorist here right now I mean like it just seems like such a vulnerable

I just don't a lot of these people don't think that they are the subject of public ire I only earned 10 million dollars a year I mean granted that's like seven and a half no but he's not like person in america he's not a public figure he's not like seven and a half times more like yeah because like the lifetime earning potential for an american

man i think that the the statistic is like 1.6 million dollars in their lifetime like of earning potential like for the average or or i think median man um and for women it's like 1.3 percent or like 1.4 um yeah like this guy had a 10 million dollar a year pay package just because he was like yeah no let's use ai to like uh deny or approve care and. The AI is going to like say no in every case. Cause every case is the first case for this one. Yeah. Right. No,

I mean, he's certainly an evil man who deserved to die, but I genuinely think that in their daily lives, a lot of these people don't see themselves as living risky, um, like public lives. I don't think they see themselves as being, yeah,

it's Manhattan is full of people who should you know meet the same fate um you can't say that because they're jewish okay i know there's a lot of jews in manhattan they have their own little i'm gonna stop it right here this is getting edited out sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i would never be a health ceo but if well that's yeah i don't know if they yeah that's one of the most obvious statements of all time but i don't know if i was i'd be dead day one minute but if i was they'd have to you knew that the state would kill me because i'd be so evil well no i would if if i was i would have a bulletproof cyber truck with a tank no that's yes for sure that rode through manhattan with with act yeah with an active guard on top so from this from one thing interesting here jock if you

don't mind one from his name being doc something that's surfaced in the past couple hours is that his his twitter which which is public and still active yes has been shared among all of his adoring fans and, you know, haters alike, however marginally they may exist. But I just want to read some of his tweets here because, you know, we're in a moment right now where everyone is kind of grappling to make him their political mascot.

And at the end of the day, he kind of just seems like a young man who was kind of into alternative health like huberman and into tech he was very smart but i wouldn't say necessarily very politically coherent and i don't yeah i certainly wouldn't call him a leftist um i don't think he belongs on the right but i do think he is just someone who's young and full of grievance and and rightfully so. He belongs in the right because he was right about everything. Exactly.

Because his Twitter has been doxxed and this is the circumstance everyone trying to stake a claim, I figured we could read some of his tweets and maybe try to make sense of them and figure out where he belongs on a political or ideological spectrum of sorts. How does that sound?

I'm down with that, but isn't it just assumed he's for other people? Certainly, yes. Everyone supports him, but he's not necessarily motivated by a coherent political ideology. They say he was...

Because he is effectively now the class war hero to all of these... To some, not to everyone. They say before, right when he did the shooting, he was actually talking on his

game boo to Professor E. Gadd who was giving him instructions on how to kill E. Gad who was giving instructions on how to kill him. Yeah. I didn't get that sentence, but continue. That's okay. Let's read some of his

tweets and figure out where he might align here. So this is the first one I found. I am looking for in parentheses, females only who want to go to Nigeria with me the 13th to the 23rd. Let me know ASAP. Wait, I'm sorry. Could you say those dates again for me?

The 13th to the 23rd. Well, he'll probably be elsewhere outside of Nigeria, unfortunately. But if any lucky ladies out there, granted he gets out of prison. Oh, and I do just want to say he is going to be think about the amount of marriage proposals like Charles Manson got in jail. That jail

is going to have to open a USPS station inside of it for the amount of gay men and women who are going to be sending him cum-soaked panties in jail. He's going to be he could run a fucking like mormon style like the wife think about think about think about the line for the conjugal visits it's gonna go out it's gonna wrap around the damn jail and guess what

wrap around the damn jail yeah and guess what the what? The conjugal room, they're going to have to build it like one of those public restrooms that sprays all of the walls. Yes, absolutely. There's going to be drains in those floors, for sure. They're going to use it like a stud horse. You're right. It's going to be busier than the

Berghain basement, for sure. You're going to see. There's going to be a dark room in the jail. One last thing. You're going to see a spike in the price of cum go way up. Too far.

Too far. That's disgusting. It's not too far. Do you mean him selling his? Yes. He's the man of the hour. Who has come when i've been talking about i'm not talking about yours i'm not talking about max's and i'm certainly not talking about hessa's why this is like this is demolition man porno parody territory right now yeah absolutely so anyways what do

we think about this tweet is that this tweet tweet of his? I'm looking for females in 10 soon. It's just that he's straight. I'm not. Gay guys, when they want to go on a trip, they don't say I'm looking for females. They say, hello, girls. You know.

Maybe he's a straggler. Maybe he's a straggler. And he's like, because he went to Penn, right? He went to Penn. That would make me so mad, Max. If I find out that he's painted his nails once, he's dead to me. And I know- They're not like any like queenie color or anything, like only black or white.

Yeah, black. Exactly. Sharpie. No, he's done before. He's done that. I cannot have him. He needs to be a cis straight hunk. Not with house paint. Who loves being straight. Better. Not with housepain. I love being straight.

Better not be with housepain, girl. None of this playing around with their sexuality. Alright, next one here. Sin is fun for a little while, but it is fun for a little while, but it, the end, it leads to death. That is a verbatim reading of his tweet. That is so true.

That sounds like one of those sentences that I write that I can't understand. It's very much a text from Jock when you're mad. This is an angry text from Jock. For sure. I'm going to put it out there. Two things very quickly. A, I think he's bisexual.

I will not explain. B, B, I cannot wait till his dating app comes to light and the conversations of him and other people it's called shooter without the E yeah shooter let me shoot my load

literally that's the French spelling another another treatise here the only side effects of reading the bible is that when you die you live forever so he's seeming kind of christian

to me okay honestly that is the coolest way to tf christianity hey guess what you might just read this book and it might make you just live for fucking ever and then he also tweeted You might just read this book and it might make you just live for fucking ever.

And then he also tweeted, there is some people you can't help. I told him to not think about me. I think it's not fair for him to judge me. He's afraid of marriage, but not afraid of STDs. But that's not real. I think he was talking about the CEO maybe there. Yeah, that's right.

Because that's healthcare. STDs are healthcare. Yeah. He just could be talking about romance while being positive. Mm-hmm. I have a few. I have a few. Okay, let's hear it.

Don't choose to mutilate yourself and mutilate is spelled wrong. Wow, okay. Mutalite. I feel like that I don't mean to be presumptuous here, but that language is usually used when making some pretty anti-trans

comments, so. Okay. He may be. Here's one. Here's one that might which is usually used when making some pretty anti-trans comments. So, okay. He may be. Here's one. Here's one that I could throw into question whether or not he's gay. Let's hear it. Oh my God. Ain't nobody pipe game worth going to hell over.

Ain't nobody pipe. He said that? The shooter said that? Yeah, that's one of his tweets. That's insane. Yo, someone's going to break of his tweets that's insane if his grave is public someone's gonna break into the graveyard at night he's not dead

he hasn't been healed wait give me a second give me a second here's a great one wait wait wait give me a second give me a second give me a second wait wait wait let's give Jacques a second hang on if his grave was

yeah yeah go ahead Jacques it's a very quick sentence I was saying that eventually when he does die people are going to break into the graveyard and etch his tweets onto the gravestone because those words will still mean so much when I'm president I are going to break into the graveyard and etch his tweets onto the gravestone because those words will still

mean so much. When I'm president, I'm going to take a mold of his penis and I'm going to make that his gravestone. And on the head, I'm going to... Yes. If Max is president, I'm killing myself. I'm just going to say that right now. People are homosexuals because they got

touched on slash molested. Can you say that one again, please? People are homosexuals because they got touched on slash molested. Whoa. What the fuck? He's seeming a little right wing but he's also seeming incredibly stupid.

I thought he was working in computer robotics. The New York post underneath a picture of him describes him as a tech whiz with an apparent grudge against the medical community. Period.

Oh, wait. I think I found a selfie that he posted. Tell us about it. Do you want to see the selfie? That's him. Wow. That's beautiful.

Do you see? That's the account that I found. That's him. Where did you go? I don't see it. I didn't see it. It's a picture of Woe Vicky. It's a picture of Woe Vicky. And of course, Jock, we have been reading Woe Vicky tweets. We have not been reading tweets from the shooter.

Wait, really? That was none of that? Yes, really. He did not say any of those things. That was the amazing Sage Woe Vicky. A philosopher for our time. Y'all, look. That was a funny joke, but I'm so genuinely

confused now. I did scroll his Twitter. I did scroll his Twitter. It's a lot of free tweets That was a funny joke, but I'm so genuinely confused now. I did scroll his Twitter. I did scroll his Twitter. It's a lot of free tweets about tech and health hacks and the like. But there are some... He called Jordan Peterson stupid and said that his way of explaining things is really overwrought and confusing. Which, yeah, absolutely.

I mean, I don't think there's any political stake that will be valid on this guy because he is just like one of these young guys who's totally cut off from any kind of meaningful future. I mean, of course he was making a lot of money and stood to make a decent salary in whatever kind of tech field he was doing in, but of course he was making a lot of money and stood to make a decent salary in whatever kind of tech field he was doing it but of course he didn't find that rewarding because of all of these terrible circumstances that we all are going to be faced because it

sucks it sucks to work it sucks to be alive it sucks to exist in this fucking country brain cells to rub together can see that there's a pattern of how things are going and it is only going towards the drain and not away from it. Unless you're a member of some kind of ultra wealthy class, you are going to be feeling these circumstances. Climate change, wealth disparities, etc. It's going to suck so bad when you have to move to New Zealand to a bunker and they're all taken by the Peter Thiel Foundation and all you get is a little Lord of the Rings hobbit thing.

That's so depressing. Y'all talk like the world's already over. Well, Jock, you're just a scaredy cat. You're scared of everything. I'm sorry. We're talking like the world's already over? You're talking about his fucking grave, okay? We have hope here all right you're actually you're actually jock i think the most i think he might never die he could live forever he could live

forever oh my god if he knows who brian johnson is he definitely knows who brian is that link up that link that link up that link link up? I would do... Brian Johnson's going to take his fucking energy. He's going to take his blood. He would... What he's going to take is his cock. He's going to cut it right off and put it on his...

No! He's like, with this cock, I will be able to fuck the nation. Well, guys, any last thoughts on the shooter being caught? I'll just say this to wrap it up. It is, I mean, it's sad he was caught. And again, we don't fully know it's him. It does, the evidence seems to be overwhelmingly pointing in the direction that it's him.

I don't think it's any kind of psyop. It is sad that he was caught. I do think he kind of wanted to be caught because to do something like this, to shoot a healthcare CEO in the head in public, knowing that there's so many CCTV,

so much footage around, you will eventually be caught. He wasn't trying to flee the country. He was caught at a McDonald's with the silencers. What the fuck are you doing In Altoona, Pennsylvania. What the fuck are you doing in Altoona, Pennsylvania? Do you seriously love Altoona pizza that much?

With ID. I'm kind of just like, oh, he probably wanted to be caught because he's kind of... As far as you do an action like this, that you shoot someone like that, you're kind of making peace

with the fact that your life is over in a very, very, very drastic way. And so if that's the case, why not... And you see, because he was on Twitter, he was on social media, you see the massive outpouring of support for the assassination

he did and how everyone knows you're sexy from your eyes and eyelashes and eyebrows and everyone loves you and then it's kind of like, I don't know if I put myself in his position, I'm kind of just like oh, I'll take the fucking charge go to jail, become a folk hero

and not have to like live this crazy fugitive life forever it worked for Jahar Sarnia exactly exactly also again I don't mean to be like a conspiratorial but I feel like

there's got to be some kind of like greater conspiracy at hand if he didn't want to run why? I feel like if he if he knew he was gonna get caught and he didn't even bother to run do you think that it's like padded behind the scenes no i don't think there's any conspiracy here at all did this he was he said in his manifesto

that he wants his brother Mario was stuck inside a painting. Shut the fuck up! I heard that at first. He had to do something about the pipes in this country. Fuck you, I literally started

to imagine his poor brother Mario. I fully believed you. Childhood cancer was denied claims. I literally imagined his younger brother is Mario laying in a hospital bed dying of some kind of terminal illness

looking at a painting. Not like literally Mario stuck in the fucking Well, very literal explanation. But no, I kind of feel like he wanted to be caught. And I don't know know it's just like i think there's a lot of young men in this country who are in the same circumstance that he was in and they don't have any infrastructure of like media or uh mainstream culture with which like the reference their anxieties

or reference their fear of the future or etc. It's culminating in really, really, really insane, incoherent politics that all need a off-road. I think it's going to become more common

that we see... I mean, this is essentially the same background as a school shooter to me, the way I'm thinking. Like, it's just, it just so happens that this guy did something amazing and demonstrably good. I don't know if that's the same thing.

I think, I think like, but I just, I think, I hope that maybe I'll just say, I hope that school shootings will stop. Yeah. I think, I think that, Hey I think that I think it's a little

it's a little different because he does have like he's has he had like a future he was like he was an Ivy League graduate he was a tech whiz he was like literally just primed to get

you know railroaded straight to like he had a future there but he didn't want that future as a thing like yeah it was it was a good life on admirable it was a good life on terms that he didn't want to accept because i think he understood what the terms were by accepting that you're going to work in this field you're accepting the maintenance of a status quo which is accelerating climate change uh wealth disparities etc etc which are things that he's on the record saying he hates so i think that whether or not like of course some people's futures are uh dismal because they are making money they have no employment opportunities but for even people who have

those things they still don't have a lot to look forward to in terms of um leading a life that they feel um happy about proud to be a part of or i think i think it's beautiful that we get after the election we get a little consolation prize and that america gets its own uh sure its own what's the Japanese Shinzo Abe we get our own kind of Shinzo Abe he's cool though it's nice that he's not as cool blow a fucking hole bigger

it's pretty cool that he wrote messages on the things and used a silencer well it's incredibly validating and cool that he's sexy I hate to pretend hey let me just say this. The Columbine shooters never could have gone.

I could have gone so much worse. Wait, wait, no. Say the name again. Columbine. Say it again. Michael Morris bowling for Columbine.

You're so funny. Is thatynes. You're so funny. Is that not how you... You're so funny. I'm out here trolling the corners looking for bitches so I can buy some Colin. Can y'all just tell me how you're...

Column Bynes. Column Bynes. C-O-L-O-B-I-i-n you lived in colorado for like eight years bitch it's a state flower you better call him behind my intelligence back into my head because it happens on 420 how do you not know that's my birthday really did it really happen yes famously yes my birthday can you! Famously! My birthday. Can you tell me what happened on Colin Vine?

I can, but let me just ask you. No, I can't. Thank you for finally being honest. Oh, never mind. You're lying. I just want to ask, do you guys think that they were motivated by Hitler's birthday or by Hitler's birthday

or by Hitler's birthday it was Hess's birthday it was my birthday, I was one year old I think this fucking baby Columbine, I might not have been born yet actually I was really familiar

I think it was 94 really quick backstory I was very familiar with Columbine I think it was 94. Yeah, I wasn't born yet. Really quick backstory. I was very familiar with Columbine because I grew up when it happened. Obviously, I'm older than y'all, but also, my brother dressed similar in high school

to the Columbine shooters because he was really in the Maryland Manson and he was kind of gone. He wore a leather trench coat. Duster or whatever. And he got pulled into the office and they were like... It's a really scary thing to do

as a teenager. Yeah, well he got dressed like Marilyn Manson every day with the face makeup too at high school. And like my brother was like a diehard Marilyn Manson fan in 1994 or 5 or whatever. No, like 1996

to 1999 or something. Diehard, whatever. Years and years ago, but him and his friends got interviewed because they were accusing them of wanting to be Columbine shooters just because of the way they dress. Now, what happened at Columbine

you ask? It was two students that premeditated a plan. They put out a manifesto. They played violent video games. They listened to Slayer and Pantera and crazy metal music. Did you tell that whole story as a

kid to buy yourself time so you could Google this? I never once Googled it. I can share my screen. I believe you. I was going to be really impressed by your manipulative tactics.

I'll just be honest and it's grim but I will just say that there was something that fascinated me with the story of just like someone getting so

fucked up by the world that early on in life. Do you feel like that in your life? I don't feel like that in my life, but I feel like whatever, they probably went through things that me or you went through and they just didn't have it.

Let me ask a question to the group. They weren't even bullied though. That's the thing. People always say that they were bullied, but they weren't. It's an objective fact that they weren't bullied. They actually were the bullies at the school. For sure. Hold up.

I have a question here, Jock. Can I just say one thing please really quickly I feel empathetic for the victims before them but I feel empathetic thank you for clarifying that I feel empathetic for these

children that made the worst decision in the world and it's a disgusting thing. That happened. Is it because they killed a bunch of future. I don't feel empathetic for them. Honestly.

I don't feel very. No but like. I get what you're saying. I think they should have been afforded a better life. Max post a lot of very scary things. That are very violent. That's nothing like shooting up a school. What are you talking about?

That's insane. Those things Max posts are like someone putting their own dick into their asshole and then dropping it out. It's equivalent to Columbine. What are you talking about? What are you talking about? Wait, wait, just listen. You know, these kids create violent video games and they

talk about they followed Max on Twitter they were Max's number one followers on Twitter and it just always struck me weird like, okay I... Where is this going? I'm just saying Max, you

you've posted this video a lot of a man shitting a baby out. So that means that Max is going to shit up a... What are you talking about here? It might be influencing... He shitted up a baby so Jacques thinks it would inspire someone to shit up a school.

Are you accusing Max of... Shit up a school. Are you accusing Max... Sorry, I just need to get what you're saying here straight because you doubled down on needing to needing to say something so i'm doubling down on making you explain it let me talk for a fucking second are you saying that max is culpable for making a new generation of school shooters because the columbine shooters playing violent video games and max is doing

the new version of that which is sharing videos in which a guy quote unquote shits up a baby. Is that the point you're trying to make? Cause I'm genuinely confused. You know, we were talking so long about how sexy the, the United healthcare shooter was. And I thought you were going to go with the, the Columbine shooters are so hot.

No, he's the yummy. He's really making up this argument on the spot. He's doing full improv here. We're dancing on clouds right now. No, no, no. I didn't do clouds. I'm not on Tina.

Period. You know you're making an amazing point when you have to clarify that you're not on math first of all Max I'm not trying to disparage your character at all and I'm not accusing you of being

a shooter or influencing people to be a shooter however I do think that you're a family I am a shooter I paint the back walls people don't recognize me okay look with shame because you're a painter I am a shooter. I paint the back walls. People don't recognize me. Okay, look. Because you're a painter. Okay.

First of all, Max, we all know that you're... We all know that... We don't put a towel down. We put down a tarp. Stop. Stop. They have to set up a room like Dexter about to kill a serial killer I have a room with a drain bitch

what do you have no one judges you that your micro penis can't even hit those walls and if you've got to say whatever you've got to say to make yourself feel better I'm fine with it however your dirty post and your very salacious post got to say to make yourself feel better. I'm fine with it. However, your

dirty post and your very salacious post could influence someone to become a dirtier downright freak. I'm not saying be a bad person. Your work? What is your work in public life done? You're some upstanding moral

public persona who could What are you talking about here? The Seeking Derangement Science Team showed Jacques paintings. I'm not posting assholes. The Seeking Derangement Science Team showed Jacques paintings to a group of monkeys and they all killed each other in the car. This is true. So if you really want to talk about our oeuvre this way...

Actually, Jacques, we did. I really wish you would talk about the monkey disaster of 2012. That was a horrible year for me. I did not mean to offend those monkeys with that painting. Look, I did not know that when I was painting

this violent painting of a monkey that it was going to be shown exclusively to a group of monkeys. Well, that's amazing. Yeah, that's amazing. I feel so bad for those. I like that picture of Assad that came out recently

where he looks all cunty. He's wearing a speedo. It's so fucking good. I love that photo. He has a perfect hourglass shape in that photo. How is Goldat to say that? I don't know if it's real or not, but it is literally the ideal Coke bottle body.

Timothy Chalamet better look like that in 30 years. Otherwise, I will get violent. Is that photoshopped? I hope it is. That would be insane. That is one of the craziest and the way he's just like fully hanging out with his

aunts and wearing a tiny thong he looks so cunty no it's kind of amazing but it's so funny to imagine being one of the rebels who storms his house and they're going through his family

photo albums and they find going through no jock and they're going through his family like photo albums and they find this picture of like thick teenagers on and they're like we need to get this to gay twitter right now so people can make memes of it he looks amazing in the photo i'll say that he looks he looks he's in perfect shape for a perfect shape. Oh wait, that's the non Photoshop. Oh yeah. I'm sorry. But okay.

So it is Photoshop. Let me see this picture. Let me see this picture. Oh my God. It's so, it's so funny. It's like skin Walker. It's like,

who is that person? Do you know who the person is in the photo? Yeah. That's the Syrian, uh, leader that's being deposed right now after trying to become a dictator. And there's the whole succeeding I think

okay also sorry different photo I want to share with the group right now this is our king the shooter and at an Indian wedding yes dude and this is how you know he's actually he's probably not racist at all that's right well he might not be

racist he's working in the tech industry. He's the least racist. Well, no. White people are more racist. He's at a wedding with them. But he looks amazing. Y'all, he's slaying. Breaking news.

A fourth bullet shell was just revealed with the words cracker written on it. Period. Good one, Jock. That's amazing. If he was an anti-white shooter, that would really seal the deal for

me. My God. I would love that. His Instagram, they find that it's only one following. It's Dr. Umar. It's Dr. Umar. It's Dr. Umar and Dr. Umar out of context. Yes, I love Dr. Umar out of context.

We need the Dr. Umar white shooter. That'd be so funny. Yes, that's actually, there's a Vicky tweet we could have read that would be relevant. I like the he's lit. She's the closest we have to the white Dr. Umar shooter.

I really feel like that. We need to give her some guns, dude. She needs to be given so many guns. He needs to have an arsenal. I'm getting a live transmission from CNN right now. A fifth bullet has just been discovered and it says on it white supremacism

caused this. Parentheses white supremacism caused this parentheses white supremacism is healthcare wow well that sounds a little I honestly couldn't believe he was able to fit that all on one little bullet we'll use one really long bullet also

he pulled out a cipher and then one medium and then a really long one. So to switch gears here slightly, as we round out the episode, for our eagle-eyed listeners, last episode

Jock did not get to do a segment he wanted to do and we're now giving him, we're now all holding space for one MX console and as we have done this entire episode to run the table on a TikTok bit he wanted to do

can you explain to us three what it is you wanted to absolutely so how this works is it's called we listen and we don't judge so something that's famously very hard for all four of us. Yeah.

The way that this game works is you say, let's all say it together in unison. Ready? We listen and we don't judge. Okay, well, we can do it a little tighter. Let's just try one more time.

We listen and we don't judge time we listen and we don't judge we listen and we don't judge okay okay let's speed it along okay oh that's the bit oh okay okay so thank you so

what you're gonna want to do is you're gonna want to reveal a secret to one of the people in this chat and there is no repercussions for whatever you say. This means you can say something

that could normally really hurt. I'm familiar with this. You also, from every video I've seen of this trend, you cannot talk. It is just you say a secret and then the group repeats the refrain, we listen, we don't judge, and then you move on. There is no discussion of what has been divulged. There's no back and forth. You say

it and you move on. That's going to be such awesome content. And this is... Shut the fuck up, bitch. And the rule is... The rule is... Alright, we'll talk. You want to go first? Why don't you go first? Okay. Ben, or, okay, the rule is alright well Chuck you want to go first? okay Ben we listen and we don't judge

you say that after the admission but one time Ben when you were yelling at me I recorded a video without the audio because I was listening through my headphones when you were yelling at me on video and the video came back silent. So then I started making multiple videos

of me pretending to be you on the video, like voicing over you, whatever. And so you were just yelling in this angry face. It looked so scary. And I was like, Yeah, stop it, Chuck. You're a little bitch and

I would send it to Steven and Kyla and I'd be like look at this little bitch and some of these are like made up by HR like they have a little poison pill you know the ones that are like Gen Z boss in a mini

itty bitty that like HR hr teams come up with like people's guard down and then they have them they have the real ones like this one we listen we don't judge at the office and like someone goes you know i i sometimes go into the women's bathroom and i jack off into the toilet and i bring my semen to work every day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I pretend to be trans to... And then they go, we listen and we don't judge. And by the way, you're fired. For sure.

That's a genius tactic. Pretending to be trans to get into women's bathrooms. I agree. It's a genius tactic. No, I meant the HR tactic, Max. Just to remind you of the rules this also cannot change your emotional layout or thoughts

well that seems a little unfair no I mean that's the whole rule of the dog you listen and you don't judge I have one for bad I need you to know Jacques there's nothing you can say that will change the way that I think about you which has always been your top shelf kush period okay well I guess I'm under the I'm into firing like fucking the way that I think about you, which has always been your top shelf kush.

Period. Okay, well, I guess I'm into firing fucking squids. Well, Ben, I have one for you. Let's hear it. I took an upper decker in your toilet. We listen and we don't judge. Wait, what is it? You can't say anything, dumbass.

You have to say we listen and we don't judge. You just judged me, Jock. You just broke your own rules. You can't ask. That's part of it. Even if you don't know. So I have one for Jock. Jock, every time you're late to work even though you only work

two hours a week maximum you're routinely... You can't talk. You're judging. You literally need to listen and if you talk again i'm going to dock your pay so every time that you're um late to work by five ten minutes and you show up without your mic or your headphone attached and you give some excuse like my stomach hurts or another something

like a kindergartner would say which is like I am poo pooing right now or I'm talking to my mommy I cut a toe off of the voodoo doll I have of you well we're out of toes and I'm out of toes off of the voodoo doll I have of you.

We're out of toes. And we don't judge. And I'm out of toes. And I'm moving the fingers. And I would like you to do your bit and say we listen, we don't judge now. We listen and we don't judge. The feeling has been going numb in my toes. Well,

well, well, well. Maybe you should be at you should be work on time diabetes it's not cornbread yay it's me okay we listen we don't judge

this is one for all y'all Max gets to go no no no mine's to mine's to be all Max is more important let's go he can't take

the way he can't take we listen we listen and we don't judge but I lied when I said recently that I got a blood test that came back that said I was not pre-diabetic because I didn't get the blood test

at all because I'm too scared to know the results we listen and we don't judge we listen and we don't judge although that's incredibly obvious when I was like 18 or 19 I refused to get an AIDS test even though I only fucked bareback and I didn't like I was too in the closet to do like prep or like AIDS testing or whatever

so I finally did get a screening and I was clean but there was like a year and a half where I was like too pussy to figure out we listen to Don't Judge that's totally many a times

I was living my true authentic self of being dl when i was 18 and 19 my wife my wife and kids can't know about this like please bro don't tell my wife and you're like fully clearly 17 years old. My kids can't know I'm gay. You might, you might be kidding. Cause, but there's a lot of those in the central Valley. No, well there's, there's so many. And I actually saw,

speaking of tech talk events, I saw a guy at tech talk. There's like gay black guy who was like clearly really pissed off at the DL community and the gay community. He was like, I need all of you faggots to stop claiming to the DL community and the gay community. He was like, I need all of you faggots to stop claiming to be DL.

So you can get bottoms easily because this is a huge problem. All of you clearly gay men are saying your DL on dating apps. So you can get, so you can pretend to be trade because you know, bottoms want trade. And then I get to your house because you know bottoms want trade and then i get to your house and you are clearly a bachelor and a gay man who is out and it's just it's so funny to be like guys who are absolutely clockable are pretending to be dl's real flamers being

ass really easily it's such a funny, such a funny get. Well, you know, it's, it's kind of, I've been thinking about this as well. Cause I have noticed this development in, uh,

in some places where people claim to be DL, but then you press them and they're like, well, I'm, I've been bisexual for a while, but I'm like, but they just know DL polls, DL polls.

Yeah. Yes. It's like guys who pretend, um, like there's no such thing like I can't believe it that more than 75% of people on Sniffy's claim to have an 8 inch penis but like I know for a fact that that's

not statistically possible. Yeah. Yeah. I have a confession. Okay. I just walked away from the mic for a minute to go pee. I know it.

No, whatever. Go piss, girl, and we don't judge. Go piss, girl, and we don't judge. Go piss, girl, and we don't judge. Okay. This is for Ben and Max. When Max used to be

in charge of the finances and I don't know. I'm shutting that one down. That is not something we can talk about publicly. He accidentally paid me too much and I never said anything and it was the best month I ever had. I did pay him for two months in a row

and that's the reason why we all had to go without for a month. We listen and we don't judge. Let's make sure we don't divulge any more details about the business publicly. One more, we listen and we don't judge. I never actually did the LLC. I just paid you guys.

No, guys, seriously. I've been divulging business things. I've been divulging business things to people it's not i'm telling everyone all the time no it's not about the listen listen contractors up here do it all the fucking time it's it's you guys are all basically illegal immigrants anyway we listen and we don't judge all right um hey look um ben is so stressed one more

we listen and we don't judge but Ben that time you got a really bad haircut and you were so embarrassed about it and you went and got the hairdresser fired and you it wasn't my hair

you have no memory because you're mentally retarded. No, because it was a haircut and the eyebrows. It was not... And you didn't want to go to your waiting job for four days. Yeah, because my eyebrows were shaved off, dumbass. You wouldn't want to go. And so I started a group chat

with everyone that we worked with and I sent a picture of you to everyone with the fucked up haircut and the eyebrows and I was like this is why he won't come in shaking my head so true we listen we don't judge we listen we don't judge

well I feel like I wouldn't do that to you because that's a really shitty and mean thing to do to your friend but I sometimes struggle with accepting you. But we don't listen to Judge. Shut the fuck up and let me talk. I sometimes really struggle with accepting you for the person you are

because you are an extremely difficult and unreasonable person to be friends with. Many times. Because you struggle with severe mental illness. And I respect that and it's valid. And likewise to you too. Shut up Jock. This is not how the game works. Oh sorry I just thought we were having a candid conversation. I knew this would happen.

Me too that's why I didn't want to do the game. I'm having fun. I'm ready to hear it. I really struggle because I love you deeply but you have in many ways degraded the circumstances of my life because you are an absolute menace. Period. It deals in hostage style, emotional negotiation and friendship. It's exceedingly difficult many times.

And I struggle to find empathy, but at the end of the day, I always do. And it's only because I'm able to convince myself that you are legitimately mentally retarded and functionally disabled. And I just want to let you... Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up. You can't all talk. And the only way I'm able to square your,

at times, absolutely abhorrent, immoral, reckless behavior, one that no normal person would put up with, this kind of stuff from a friend, the only way I'm able to reconcile this while maintaining any kind of self-respect or pride in my life is again, by convincing myself, and I might not be wrong,

that you are a mentally retarded person with severe debilitating mental illness. And we celebrate that. I don't, I don't, I don't. We listen and we don't judge. We listen and we don't judge. I'm trying to say that. We listen and we don't judge.

Hey, let's say it together. And on that note, everyone, thank you so much for listening to Seeking Derangements. Wait, one more time. Hey, if you're listening to this, you can't judge, by the way. Yeah, by the way. If you're listening to this, you have to subscribe to Seeking Derangements. Incredibly true. This is just a real quick

post-episode comment, but do not judge us. Seriously, after this episode is over, but do not judge us. Seriously, after this episode is over, you are not allowed to judge us. You're only allowed to listen. And this means zero mean comments.

People can comment whatever they want. They are paying subscribers. No, I agree. Zero mean comments. But if you want to say a mean comment, you do have to say something nice about the music that I posted in the episode. Say whatever. Y'all are paying if you want to say a mean comment, you do have to say something nice about the music that I posted in the episode. You have to stroke my ear. Y'all are paying subscribers. You can say whatever the hell you want. Let's say three mean comments.

You guys can do three mean comments. And we are, this is radar patrolled comment section, okay? We know when your three comments are up. I don't want us to leave the episode like this, so before we leave, can we all just say one nice thing to each other?

I already said something very nice to you. I capacitate your mental illness by Here's something nice for everyone. I'll say it all about three. Ben, Hessa, and Max, I know we have all had some tough times. Because you start saying it. Because I'm crazy.

I love y'all so much, and it really is honestly a deep privilege to know each one of you, and I really truly love you all, and I'm just very glad that even though I can be troublesome, y'all accept me for who I am, and you are really all important to me. Max, why are you showing me an iPad of a big, whoa, Vicky?

We love her. Inspiration. It's like how Latinos put up pictures of the Virgin Mary. Is she burned? Yes. I think she probably got a chemical appeal. All right. I have to go cook dinner.

It says Sherbet Cosmetics and ATL. She's getting cooked by Ben later for dinner. That's why. I'm sorry. I think we're already all cooked. I kind of only had anything to say about you because you shot at me first. For the record, everyone, but with that, listen to our back

catalog and weekly bonus episodes on Patreon.com slash Seeking Derangements. Until next time. Goodbye, everyone. Bye. Bye. Bye.

I finally found that man of mine. Yeah. I finally got that man of mine. I've been waiting such a long time. Such a long time. Yeah. I finally found that man of mine. I just want to. I just want to I just want to

Touch you, baby Touch you Cause you feel so good to me Would you like something cold to drink? What about looking at a little TV? I just want to love you, baby. Hold you in my loving arms. Give you a love you can feel.

You can feel. You can feel. Give you a love that's for real. Cause I finally found that man of mine. Man of mine. Yeah. I finally found that man of mine.