Seeking Derangements - SD 373 - Mister Lady w/ Jen

Episode Date: January 12, 2025

It's Seeking Sunday! And we have norovirus. At least Jen and I (Ben) do. Hesse is on this one with us too. We talk about congestion pricing, going to Thailand for normal reasons, and really stupid TV shows. If you hate this one, well....we'll have another episode out soon.

🎵 Hello everyone and welcome to Seeking Derangements. This is a free episode. If you're hearing this and you want to get more of Seeking Derangements, you're hearing this and you want to get more of seeking arrangements you can find our entire back catalog and weekly bonus episodes on our patreon patreon.com slash seeking arrangements has is here with me today jock has the day off and filling in for zur is jen sillen jen hassa hey hey hello today big mama's back big mama's back welcome How are we doing today? Big Mama's back. Big Mama's back. Welcome, Jen. Today I'm going to be giving back.

Mm-hmm. You're really... And a big back. No one likes that pun. I do it all the time. Nobody likes it. It's not that great. I'll be honest with you.

Giving back is pretty funny. I don't really get it. Yeah, neither do I. Like back, you know? It's like if you got back, you're like that really get it it's like do i you know like back you know it's like if you got back you're like no it's like you're it's kind of just like you got a wide back it's like a meme talk about her talk about her back catalog it's like i need a whole catalog for you that back it's like it's so if you're if you're giving back but like you're giving back the community giving back no i get it now in the sense of giving and yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think it's A plus. I think it's up there with Carter, but nobody thinks it's funny. I think maybe A minus at the most. It takes a really high degree of brain rot to immediately get that as a pun. Yeah. I think maybe she's giving back. She's giving back. I get it now, but that's like I'm saying.

She's giving back this holiday season. Exactly. Exactly. I get it now but that's all she's giving back this holiday season exactly I'm there now I'm there it's funny it's funny thank you that's what Scrooge learned to do learn to give back to Tiny Tim Tiny Tim

had such a small back keep that one running Tiny Tim had such a small back. Keep that one running. Let's stretch this one out a little bit longer. I think we found a good one. What's going on? That's the episode, you guys. Thanks for joining us.

I haven't seen either of you since before the holidays I know it's been a whirlwind of travel and eating a lot and drinking a lot but I am doing dry January and I am also being I'm doing anorexic January

and it started off with a bang and a splash a couple splashes if you know what i mean because i've got norovirus um me and ben had uh perfectly timed synced up norovirus this week but i'm really tired because because you got it. You copied me. I got it like six hours later. Copied me. White women stay being so jealous of gay men's diseases. I just went out and got it myself. It's been rough.

I'll be honest. Don't get norovirus, y'all. I think I got it from JFK. From the president? Not the president, the airport that's why his head did that rare symptom yeah it was norovirus no but it's actually, it's like, it's really fucking terrible

I've been like chained to my toilet puking, vomiting, I'll spare the details well you didn't you just gave them no there's more there's a lot more you're missing out on that I don't want to talk about. But yeah, I don't get it, y'all. That's all I have to say about norovirus.

Jen, how's your norovirus going? I've been medicating myself this week so crazy. I've just been taking double dosage of everything like Dayquil, ibuprofen, whatever. What's the other one acetaminophen acetaminophen I take this throat spray because it's like I'm just not throat spray I've been everything I've got everything just in case

what is throat spray yeah it numbs your whole throat so you can't have like any like so it's like if you're throwing up you don't have like gross like but I mean it's meant for like you just had a numbing throat spray on hand it's like if you're throwing up, you don't have gross... But I mean, it's meant for... So you just had a numbing throat spray on hand? It's meant for sore throats or straps. Yeah, right. Gross. You pervert.

You absolute pervert. And I've been eating Tums every hour to an hour. Your stomach is going to be so fucked. It's like multicolored right now. It looks like candy crush in there. All of these, like the Pepto-Bismol color. Prite was like bright orange. Oh.

It looks like the intersectional pride flag. And I've been, I haven't been moving that much. I've kind of just been still this whole time, so it's like it hasn't gotten, it's not actually a brown sludge. It is like a rainbow swirl. There's a pile at your between your legs on your bed

what the hell I hate it I'm finally this is the first day where I'm kind of finally like I can leave the house Ben was sending me pictures of what's in his toilet there were twice as many cases this year as there were last year I read Ben does this thing where he takes pictures whenever he

do a review no I do not I would never do that thing where he takes pictures whenever he drops something in the Uber view. No, I do not. I would never do that. I'm too self-conscious to even talk about my own diarrhea because I think it's nasty to do that. It's not very becoming of a young suitor such as myself. I think that I got mine

last weekend from a wild night out before my birthday. I went to the afters. I forgot it was your birthday. Happy birthday. Thank you, darling. It sucks having a birthday early January because everyone is so...

Everybody forgets. Everybody forgets and no one wants to party because everyone's been drinking, everyone's been eating, everyone's been partied out, and then... But we partied. Gay friends, forget about your birthday.

Sorry. We made an afters on a random Sunday morning. And I think that's where I got norovirus. But I was getting everybody with my sticker pranks, which I don't know if I've ever talked about. What's a sticker prank? So I've got two major. So you're copying my pranks too. What are you talking about?

Well, I don't know about sticker prank. What's your sticker prank? Darling, we've been pranking together since the beginning of time. I guess you're my prank sister. You're sister you're right i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm being about it what's the sticker prank so i have two sticker pranks so one of them is like a coke bag sticker and one of them is an outlet sticker like a perfectly shaped white flush i love the outlet sticker with the outlet sticker i like to go to like the west village or something go to a coffee shop you know there's always that spot where you're like oh it's perfect spot right by the window and then

you look underneath and you're like damn no outlet so i can't yeah get but it's like yeah and then but if there was an outlet you'd go buy your shit and you put the coke bag sticker right there exactly so i bet they see you put the outlet sticker right there somewhere where someone it's really going to mess up someone's day. They go, oh, amazing outlet. They go spend $11. Really good. It just totally ruins someone's day. Love doing that. They go spend like $11 on like a coffee.

And then they bring all their stuff down. They sit down. They get all set up. Then finally they get out the charger and they go and they just shove it right into the wall. Yeah. Yeah. And then the classic one. Coke bag sticker. You can figure out what that is.

You just put it on the floor. So you're just leaving that on the ground at parties? Yeah, we have a couple around the standard just in random places. You can do the same thing. You can just fill a little baggie with drywall and leave it around. True. Yeah, absolutely.

That's kind of a really good one because then you get to see someone snort drywall yeah no but there's a hospital i got to see gay guys like paw at the floor like a cat with a laser pointer because they were they were so they wanted the bag so bad yeah they were so fried what if one pulled it out like the roadrunner running into a like the tunnel that's painted on the wall? I'd say cheers, darling. Happy birthday to Big Mama. I would be so pissed if you did that to me.

I'd be so humiliated. Especially end of the night at like 3.30 a.m., bags out. At any point, if that happened to me, I would feel very trapped. At any point, 10 a.m. on a Tuesday. Yep. It would be very embarrassing. I should be winning your bathroom. Get you every time.

No. No. I don't want to go. I'm done going to the bathroom. I hate the bathroom now. Period. I'm spending so much time in there. I'm like, I don't want to go in again.

Bathroom's your new weed. It's traumatizing. It fucking sucks so much. Just in general. He needs to look at it. Freud, you get traumatized by going to the bathroom. Isn't that what he said?

About babies? There's anal expulsive and there's anal retentive what he said? No. About babies? Well, there's anal-expulsive and there's anal-retentive. What y'all doing to babies? Oh yeah, we took that test. Yeah. What y'all doing at babies? Classic hysteria.

I'm anal-expulsive. 1,000%. Well, especially with the neurovirus. Yeah, right now. More than ever, probably. And, you know, most of the year for him. Yeah, right now, more than ever probably. And, you know, most of the year for him. No. You know what I mean.

I don't know what you mean. I have no idea what you mean. What's wrong with you, Hesse? Are you okay? I'm just tired. Do you have neurovirus? No. I have like a little sinus headache, but that's it. Hesse. I told my friend Kyla, head of our HR department, actually.

I told her that I had neurovirus, and she immediately was like, no, you don't, and I have a flu and it's worse. And I was like, white women are really crazy about illnesses. There's something I've come to realize more and more, is that they're very, really combative about being sick. And yeah, it's a,

it's a, um, ever since we lost, uh, fibromyalgia, it really, yeah. Ever since we lost Brittany Murphy.

Ever since we lost her. Yeah. Ever since we lost that flight over the Pacific. Yeah. Malaysia. The Malaysian flight. 3470. 3470. White women have been freaking the Pacific. Yeah. Malaysia. The Malaysia for the airlines flight. 3470. 3470.

White women have been freaking. R.I.P. Well, they have Lyme disease. Lyme disease will never go away for white women. I know. I thought I had Lyme. I got a blood test. Of course.

Okay, exactly. Every bitch is always like, I thought I had Lyme. Okay, but it was a false positive. I didn't just think from my symptoms. I only thought it because I had a blood test from nyu that says you have lyme disease okay fair enough we should all get we should all get a flight uh 3470 tattoos and they said and then next week they said actually you got key lime pie the malaysia airlines flight people are like what is that tattoo oh it's for the malaysia airlines flight and they are like, what is that tattoo? Oh, it's for the Malaysia Airlines flight. And they're like, why?

Just no explanation. Yes. It means nothing to us. Have you been having any fever dreams? I'm not having any tattoos. I'm dumb. No. Either of you? I haven't been having any fever dreams. I've been having none. Really? I've been having none. I haven't been dreaming at all since I've had

norovirus. I don't know what it is, but my oh my god they're probably so traumatic they're probably about um going to the bathroom because that's all i've been doing and so my brain is probably blocking those horrible poop nightmares out of my my mind because i can't handle it whenever i get sick i like spend the week like channeling with kind of a crazy entity that I've been channeling with since I was a child. What do you mean? There's a subreddit called Geometrical Nightmares.

Geometric Nightmares. And there's a small, there's like probably a couple thousand people in the world that have these same Geometrical Nightmares and like I've been having them since they were children. What do you mean geometrical nightmare? I could not describe it,

but basically it's like, well, it sounds like there's a whole subreddit where they describe it. Okay. So we describe it in the subreddit and then like, we like, bam. So you shut you down.

There's, um, there's some people recreate it with pictures, but like, like it looks silly because if you look at some of the pictures, it's like, I can look through the pictures and it's like number seven out of 10 will strike so much fear in me,

but it's just like a cube on a really, really gray flat, like drawing. Um, but if go to geometrical nightmares, listeners, like a kaleidoscope thing, it's a little bit of a kaleidoscope,

but as, as we in the community say, a painting or a type of cream is what it says. I'm not wearing my glasses. Hang on. Sometimes it's fractals in 2D space, but usually it's 3D. No, I've never had a dream like that.

I'm not transgender enough to be dreaming in shapes. I'm looking at it right now. I've had dreams way worse than this. Way more geometrical. Do you have geometrics too? Yeah, but all the geometrics are rotating in 4D in my head.

It's a lot scarier. A lot scarier than whatever you see. That sounds way scarier. This is a real condition. I don't like you making fun of it or belittling it. I feel really bad for you that you have to see a sphere turning a lot in your dreams.

It turns like over 12 times. For me, they stack. But nice try. They actually stack. Okay, never mind. That's way scarier. You're a fucking idiot. That is scarier, I'll be honest.

They stack. Your Honor, my client I'll be honest. They fucking stack. Your Honor. That is scarier. My client, they stack in my client's head. They stack. Jen, what do you think about congestion pricing?

Well, you know, we're all people of below 61st street experience. Congestion pricing, you know, with the price of a bag of coke being $80 in this city, that's your congestion pricing right there. What is congestion pricing? What do you mean?

What do you think I'm in? What do you mean? Like driving a car? Like a tax for driving? Oh my god, she doesn't know. Hezo, what do you think it is? A tax for driving a car. Yes. Well, car. Yes. Well, yes.

Okay. If you drive a car at certain times, is it for public transport, too? No. Okay. It's just over the bridges and tunnels. That'd be fucking crazy. Yes.

It's for, yeah, during peak peak times if you travel into Manhattan you're paying $20 or $9 depending on the bridge it's mostly $9 down by us I think it's $20 to get into Jersey and back oh yeah but Williamsburg it's $9 to $20 depending on where

90% of the time if I'm driving it's there which I was like I don't give a fuck I didn't care about it but I'll be honest now it's the quietest canal street I've ever been to it's kind of cool I like it

it's rush hour you know what's also crazy that I saw there's no honking there's no screaming I can walk around even faster than I used to walk around and I used to walk i walk around in the street most of the time because i know the townsfolk on the sidewalk are so fucking slow that i'm just like i'm just gonna walk in between the curb and traffic i mean you've seen me you've seen you have a video of me jaywalking yeah yeah yeah but i mean instead

of just like i walk just off the sidewalk because it's an open lane, essentially. Yeah. You might get hit by a car, but it hasn't happened to me. But now it's even less likely that I'm going to be hit by a car. I can just fully walk on Canal Street. Yeah, now you can do it on Canal.

Yeah. It's amazing. I'm a huge fan of congestion pricing. There are some restaurants in your neighborhood that are saying that if you come in and can show proof that you like paid congestion pricing. I saw that some, there are some restaurants in your neighborhood that are saying that if you come in and show, can show proof that you like paid congestion pricing to get into the city, they'll take that off your tab.

Why? Isn't that crazy? There are restaurants in Little Italy and all these restaurants downtown that were like freaking out. Yeah, because it's all bridge and tunnel that goes there. But, it makes sense for them. Yeah, I guess it is bridge and tunnel but it's also like, it's a lot of tourists as well and tourists love taking the subway.

Yes, no, but it's people that go to Little Italy. Little Italy has a lot of people that live right across the water that come in for what they think is a really good deal. Yes, but then also tourists who are just like staying in Midtown. Right, it's not going to affect them. But still, it's like... No, they'll be fine. They'll be fine.

The little... I would love if they went out of they'll be fine these they're the little i i would i would love if they went out of business to be totally honest i know you the one thing that i actually the only downside to congestion pricing is that because there's no traffic sound i can hear the italian restaurant mongers screaming at people to come in and hear their places in language disgusting grass is always greener. It's a Siberian language. Grass is always greener. Well, I mean, the real question of congestion prices... And what would you hear without them? The rats? Cars.

Without either. I'd hear the one homeless guy who screams like a monkey. He whoops like a monkey. It's the concrete jungle, darling. And he used to whoop at cars, and I feel like he's gonna... His quality of life is going down. I feel bad for him. He And he used to whoop at cars and I feel like he's gonna... His quality of life is going down. I feel bad for him. There's less cars to whoop at?

There's less cars to whoop at. He used to whoop at bikes. He used to whoop at people on the street. He'll find another enemy. I'm sure he'll find another thing to scream at. I'm a huge fan of it. And people are like,

oh, this is going to impact poor New Yorkers. And I'm like, poor New Yorkers don't own a car. They're coming in on the train. It's going to impact businesses. It's for like, the people who drive into New York City are like people who have houses in Jersey, have an apartment in Midtown.

It's by and large not something that's going to affect, I'm not pretending as if it's going to affect the upper class directly. It's like middle class people. I'm sorry, they're paying $20 to get in. It's $40 to get in and out of the city. Yeah, it's really fucking annoying. But sorry, take the fucking train. No, no, but it's going to

impact. Why do they need? You know how much it costs to park a car in the city? No, no, no. It's not for them, but it's for businesses that need to have things. Is it like all times? It's going to raise the price of goods. It's going to raise like productions. Like if you have like a bunch of vans going in, not over the Manhattan Bridge.

Like earlier. Aren't like commercial vehicles exempt? No. Uber and Lyft are exempt. That makes sense. Which is stupid. Really? That defeats the whole purpose, I feel like.

No, no. Because they need to be able to get people out and live. Because nobody's Ubering from Jersey. Few people Uber over Williamstown Bridge or whatever. Yeah, that for sure, but they're not trying to stop people from just getting around.

I think they're trying to stop people from getting into the city. I'm just saying people should Uber should be paying congestion prices. I know because we would just be the ones paying it. They would just make us pay that. Uber the company should be paying it. They're not going to do that.

They already, they're already. They would just pass it on to us. I don't want that. Yes. I'm just saying, ideally, the company is paying this tax.

Yeah. Speaking of wealth inequality, y'all watch the Squid Games? I saw this second. Nice, nice John. Yeah. Nice shot. Great transition. Natural.

I'll tell you what, I've gotten some throat game that feels like squid game for real. You'd be fucking just about anything. Does that count? Well, for you, it's a little more beast games, darling. What does that mean? What the hell does that count? Well, for you, it's a little more Beast games, darling. What does that mean?

What the hell does that mean? It's Mr. Beast's Amazon Prime show. But what is a beast? It's a hard road game that feels like Beast games. She's calling your bitches ugly. You're calling my bitches ugly? That's so rude.

You think they're swids when they're beasts? Mr. Beast. Mr. Beast, nonetheless. Period. Well, yeah, I mean, I've had Norverse the past three days, so yeah, I have been watching a lot of television. Yeah.

I've been watching Escape from Dannemora. I've not seen that. Which is a very funny show are you watching it because it's about your uncle Dannemora Uncle Dannemora yes

nice the man who built the Dannemora prison upstate it's Paul Dano, Benicio del Toro, and Patricia Arquette. Random.

Fuck, marry, kill, those three. Marry, Benicio, fuck, Paul Dano, kill, Patricia, sorry. I do like Patricia Arquette, but... I'd marry Patricia, I don't really care. You're gonna fuck Paul Dano kill Patricia I do like Patricia Arquette but I'd marry Patricia I don't really care you're gonna fuck Paul Dano yeah he's gonna put your head in his

fridge I think he's cute I think he's cute okay how about okay Mr. Beast who are the other ones the one who's the tranny what's her name um no no the one that left the one that left Mr. Beast who are the other ones? Who's the tranny? What's her name? Jelen Mulvaney?

No, the one that left. Mr. Beast, Jensilin. The one that left? What do you mean the one that left? There's a tranny that should leave his team, his inner circle because she was part of the minors on Discord. I think her name was

Chris Tyson. Thank you, Hessa. Ava Chris Tyson. Or who's the other one Chandler okay you have Mr. Beast Chandler from Friends Chandler from Mr. Beast you're telling me I'm getting Beast game

and meanwhile you're like what's your favorite Mr. Beast episode I personally like number one and five I've never watched favorite Mr. Beast episode, everyone? I personally like number one and five. No, two. I've never watched a Mr. Beast video. Mr. Beast. Mr. Beast.

Mr. Beast. I saw a store today called Mr. Lady. Latin folk legend, Mr. Beast. Mr. Beast. He comes out of the woods. That's what Chupacabra is. Exactly, South American Jersey Devil. Mr. Beast. He comes out of the woods. That's what Chupacabra is. Exactly. South American Jersey Devil. Mr. Beast.

Mr. Beast. Why'd you make me fight the Chupacabra for 14 tortillas, Mr. Beast? I am going to suck the blood of 100 goats in 10 minutes. I saw a photo of a store

called Mr. Lady today. You think of me? And that made me laugh. I was like, I wonder what kind of big flowy dresses they've got in there. Big and tall. Me and their lady.

I love the way she's shopping, me and meet their lady I love to meet their lady I need to need to find a dress to hide my massive shoulders do you have any underwear to

hide my penis please keep going keep going this is gold this is gold what's this character's name what's this character's name my name is mr lady and i know this is jen's worker that was so inspired he became mr lady oh i thought he was shopping for Mr. Lady I am

Mr. Lady oh it's Elena Velez it's Amelia Perez I just called her Elena Velez wait that's so funny Amelia DeFuego this is

do you have any underwear to hide my penis bingo did you sell wigs here well I watched both MrBeastGames and SquidGame season 2 in the same week SquidGame sucks dick

it's not that shit I'm not going to watch that shit. But Beast Games? I'm not going to watch that shit. No, I'm certainly not watching Beast Games. But I was kind of in and out of fever the whole thing, so I kind of was like waiting on Mr. Beast to pull out a gun and shoot him. Labor Games.

Oh, Labor Games is so good. What is Labor Games? Labor Games is a... We talked about it on our music episode it's a tlc show it is a tlc reality show where they wheel in some horrible like off-brand tina fey woman who's just she's got no charm absolute loser and i think they're like 15 episodes yeah walks into uh women's um hospital rooms while they are giving labor and quizzes them on she asked some questions related to pregnancy okay that's a really fun that's a really good idea for a show honestly it's hilarious but you're giving labor in the house but the questions are related to pregnancy yeah yes no that's not you should be the questions should

be about like lord of the rings yeah like random shit like the the treaty of guadalupe hidalgo like yes yes absolutely you know what i mean yeah uh topography questions, questions about, you know, geography, stuff like that. But no, they ask them about child rearing and stuff. It's a really demonic show. Oh, you know what I've been kind of obsessed with? Majorly? Flea market flip, darling. What is that?

Flea market flip. Hang on, am I coming through my computer microphone or my... You sound good to me. Sound fine? Good. You sound good to me. Flea market flip. Flea market flip has changed the way I look at objects in the world.

It's like I have like laser... I'm sure. I have laser scanners. It's like mailbox flip value. So, okay. Ready for the pitch? Okay. So, the woman from Good Morning America is a host of a game show

on HGTV that ran for like 11 seasons. You know who would love to hear this? Shut your mouth. Adolf Hitler would love to hear this. Adolf Hitler. Sorry. Adolf Hitler. Go kill yourself.

I call myself Hitler. She gets two teams and then it's like siblings they're like best friends but two teams against each other and then they go to a really cheap flea market in like Massachusetts or something and they spend $500 and they have three

challenges so sometimes it's one's like industrial chic and the second one's like refurbish and then like number three is wild card or like pair of twos or something and so they have $500 to get objects for second one's like refurbish and then like number three is wild card or like pair of twos or something and so they have 500 to make to get through objects for three items that they're gonna like like spruce up into three like refurbished redone funky eclectic pieces they have a day to do it and then they go to the brooklyn flea to go sell them for like for profit

and the funny thing is that none of the people are ever like live in new york but they're always kind of just like random like pennsylvania like massachusetts flippers it's not like aiden from sex in the city yes no no so it's like people that are like they're working at lower price points and then they go and they sell the brooklynites and they love to like they'll paint like a monkey on a dresser and be like it's people in brooklyn people in brooklyn like some pretty freaky things you know what I would do a lamp you know what my strategy would be

I like this Jen I would be like I would put like some like Jewish like relics in there and I would do like a prayer and I'd be like there's a Dybbuk in there it's a Dybbuk box oh if you open it you're cursed for life and I would do a prayer and I'd be like, there's a Dybbuk in there. It's a Dybbuk box. Oh!

If you open it, you're cursed for life. And I would give it to people. I would buy a Dybbuk box. Yeah, one of these funky Brooklyn hipsters. I would be so scared. I would buy it and I'd open it immediately. I would quit the podcast if you said that. I'm so scared of them. I'm not afraid of it.

That shit won't work on me. And then whoever gets the most profit wins the round it's not gonna work on me I don't care about no Jewish ghost Jen have you ever encountered a Dybbuk? no just not in my years of geometrical nightmares yeah it's just geometric this is a geometrical box

there's geometry inside I've seen a couple of golems but would you be seeing a couple of golems well from Jewish folklore in your dreams? a big clay man I'm very in I've seen a couple out there

as well you don't have any family stories about Dibbix? no no Dibbix you don't have any like that's a comment like that's something every Jewish family has we got a little bit of everything leave them in the comments

of this episode on Patreon if you've had a Dibbix only if you're Jewish though or if you're Muslim if you have a Jinn story if you've had a Dybbuk. Only if you're Jewish though. Or if you're Muslim, if you have a djinn story. If you've experienced a djinn. Do that. If you're Catholic, fuck you. Kill yourself.

Period. Catholics, I mean, they're demons, I guess. Yeah, demons. Yeah, mostly the priests. Yeah, my priest was gay, but he never touched me he never touched anyone i know he was gay because he had the kind of that only gay men get like kind of rosy not like not like ruddy but just like he had permanently rosy cheeks. It's a quality

I've only ever seen on gay men. And he had it. Like Pee Wee Herman's enemy Francis. You know what I mean? Exactly. Father Kevin. And then he quit the church after all the pedophilia stuff came out.

Is he the one? Did you show me a picture of him? Is he the one that looks like Barnacle Boy? I don't have a photo of him. Yeah, you showed me a picture. Did I show you a photo that looks like Barnacle Boy? Yeah, you showed me a picture. You were like, this is, you were talking about the rosacea thing.

You looked like a triangle and you showed me a picture of a Barnacle Boy that looked like a big sphere. You don't remember this? It was so geometrical. You were stacked up. Exactly. I remember showing you a photo of someone who looked like Barnacle Boy. This is just so geometrical. You were stacked up. I remember

showing you a photo of someone who looked like Barnacle Boy. This is just a geometrical nightmare. You showed me a picture of your pastor. Was it a pastor? What is it? The priest. Father Kevin was Catholic. I think you showed me a priest of him and he looked kind of like Barnacle Boy. No, I think I probably showed you a picture of

the minister at the Unitarian Church who I had beef with He did have a major midsection The mermaid man the big suited lesbian. No, that's article boy Mermaid man's the big guy. Oh, sorry. I was thinking a mermaid man. I was okay. Okay, boy They kind of dr. Eggman kind of build. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. I got it Yeah, I know that would that was this lesbian named Amy who fucked my family like mermaid man is so she was wearing like Steve Harvey suits and had like

just like the classic like lesbian tall haircut She was kind of more like Pixar lesbian though. She had a very Pixar face. Wait, I gotta grab a computer charger. Vamp for a second. Go ahead. Do you see her robe she's wearing with all the Japanese writing on it? No, I haven't.

I'm not wearing my glasses. Oh, it's pretty iconic. I wonder where she got that. I thought it was just like a blue with like white crisscrosses. No, it looks like she is wrapped in a like ancient Japanese scroll.

Period. That's so strange. But no, I defeated this lesbian. Okay, period. I can't really say what she did can you say what you did yeah I called her and I chewed her out and I was totally

in my right to do this I believe you thank you when I know I'm 100% in the right and it's a lesbian who's fucked with my family it's I'm not she's getting years of anger yeah that i've kept inside yeah because i can they can you know i'm not gonna blow up people who

don't deserve but when someone deserves it yeah and they've done something serious she moved house okay period uh you tore yeah and for everyone other she did something truly egregious this isn't me being homophobic yeah I am let's say she violated some HIPAA violations against a member of my family but she was a total huckster

yeah you know just like Unitarianism Unitarian that's like a god complex they think they're Jesus because they've got such a big. Well, it's more just like it's perfectly coincides with

kind of like woke stuff like identity politics and just like totally like liberal platitudes where they're like they're really able to kind of garnish a lot of sympathy for themselves and through that kind of take control

of her certain parishes and stuff. Y'all talk about me. That's what she was doing. Yeah. Yeah. But she moved to like Milwaukee or something and is probably scamming people there. She was like selling paintings and like Polly. Okay, so it's just Jock.

Kind of. So Jock had a theology degree and like 20 more IQ points yeah he would absolutely be this mermaid man looking lesbian literally yeah and she was just like too lazy to like

just too lazy and too stupid to like start a cult and like not didn't have enough charm to start a cult so she was like I guess I'll just like you know go terrorize a bunch of Unitarians in Devoid, Iowa. Anyways, I've talked about her a little bit on the show before. She can suck my dick.

She's fucking awful. Jen, have you had any fights with lesbians recently? It's my whole life. It's my entire life. They're combative people. I do love them, some of them. It's rare, but there's sometimes some that slip through.

They got a chip on their shoulder. I wonder why. Oh, yeah. They got a chip on their big linebacker shoulder. Linebacker shoulder. It would be hard to be a lesbian and I would resent gay men

if I was a lesbian 1000% because they're like the older brother who's cool and gets accepted you're kind of just like you know trying to get it or whatever and then your guy tries to fuck you and then there's trans

and then you bitches come in and do it better than that it's very I hate the world as well the trans issue really put a gun up to them said pick a side literally and some you know and some swam

and some sank some swam and they still swim. I mean, a lot of them seem to just like put the gun in their mouth and be like, do it, do it, please. Speaking of people that have been treading water for decades,

Frankie Grande is on Worst Cooks in America this season. Thank you for bringing the most retarded news shows yeah so i always know he's like he was like having people over for like years being like i'm such a bad cook and even just put like yeah a piece of cheese in the microwave still in the plastic for 45 minutes and start fucking hit the meth pipe he's so yeah isn't it so quirky that I'm mad at cooking? I like him more now. Don't get me wrong.

I didn't like him for a while. Yeah, friend of the show and listener. One of our listeners. I love Frankie because he is so... Yeah. Oh, Frankie, we gotta get you on. Yeah. We gotta talk.

He's now filmed with one of my icons and what's her name? Anne Burrell. The lesbian. Speaking of lesbians. Oh, the holding space woman? No, no, no. The J.Crew one?

Wow, I got her name right. Anne Burrell. You guys don't know Anne Burrell? She's a major lesbian. If you don't know her, you're not a queer podcast. I'm trying to think of lesbians. know Anne Burrell? She's a major lesbian. If you don't know her, you're not a queer podcast. I'm trying to think of lesbians I know. Google Anne Burrell. I can't. I'm recording off my phone. My Wi-Fi is broken.

Everybody at home, Google Anne Burrell. Can you describe this lesbian? Hang on. If Pink actually committed to it. Oh, yeah. I know this queen I know this queen

she's iconic one of my top tens someone who's really has Pink ever faced any queerbaiting allegations not that she should really? I don't know if they were queerbaiting as much as like she brushed it off I think she's just looked like she's just looked like a

big old dyke for such a long time. That's just who she is. She had a song called So What. So what? It doesn't have to do with anything. So what if I'm kissing girls? That's not what the song is about though. Yeah, it is because she's

still a rock star despite that. Exactly. Despite that. The thing that rock stars famously never do, kiss girls. The thing that they never, ever do. She landed a spot on Food Network's Worst Cooks in America, going on season 14. Yeah, this is... Yeah, she's like female Guy Fieri.

I only saw that she... By she, I mean Frankie Grande. I only saw that by she I mean Frankie Grande I only saw that she was doing this show from a Hulu ad and it didn't even say him by name I just saw him in the background of a Hulu ad no it was not like

now on where's cooks Frankie Grande you know who do you think Ariana returns his calls? I think she texts him back. I think she texts him back. They're Italian. They're Italians.

But they're like Florida Italian. Who knows how they operate? You know what I mean? Did Frankie ever pretend to be black? Yeah, every day. He's on Worst Cooks in America. He's on a... Who's that?

He's on more of like a Franklin McClure. Because he's actually a great... Because Frankie Grande is a great cook, but he's just a bad guy because he keeps pretending to be black. He keeps doing like... Frankie is an iconic meth twink gay name. 1,000%. 1,000%. If you're a gay man named Frankie, Frankie is an iconic meth twink gay name 1000% 1000%

if you're a gay man named Frankie your life is just it's a straight line between two points points to the pipe period period you know who else has been on worst cooks in America who's that Jonathan Lipnicki, the kid from

Jerry Maguire. That's a fun fact for everyone. Good God, this is just like I love Worst Cooks in America. This is so sad. I love that guy. Look up Jonathan Lipnicki right now. Look him up because he's so

jacked, first of all. He's completely jacked. Oh my God. And he has two tattoos on his entire body. And they are so funny. How do you spell his last name? One L-I-P-N-I-C-K-I. It's just people who should be testifying to a court against, like, Disney producers. But he has, okay, here are his tattoos.

This kid? He has a Star of David on the side of his body. He's Stuart Little. Yeah, he's Stuart Little. He's the kid from Stuart Little. He's the kid from Jerry Maguire. He's Jack now. You said, yeah, he's not Stuart Little. He's the kid from Stuart Little. Okay, I call him Stuart Little

though because his last name is Stuart and he's also Little. She says she watches movies. I mean, that makes sense. His last name is actually Little. I just remembered his last name is Little. he's also little. This says she watches movies. Oh, I mean, that makes sense. Well, no, his last name is actually little. I just remembered his last name is little. She called his ass Stuart Little. This bitch thinks she's a movie head.

She fell right into my bear trap. Mr. Beast just walked into my trap. Okay. Oh, God. Mr. Beast. Mr. Beast. I don't like being called Mr. Beast. Calling a trans woman Mr. Beast is so

funny. So mean. So mean. What's up Mr. Beast? It's so mean. We were just having brunch. It's so mean. Oh my god. But he has a star

of David tattoo on his side. Like literally it looks like you know how you can move tattoos around in, like, Tony Hawk's Pro Skater? Yeah. Or, like, video games when you're making custom. It looks like they did it wrong, and it's, like, in the wrong place on his body. Oh, sure, sure. It's, like, completely facing the side. And then he has, like, this ugly, like, T, like, logo thing.

And I think it's the logo for his dojo. It's on his chest. Those are his two tattoos. The logo for his karate dojo and a star of David on his side. That is so messed up. Two very funny

tattoos to have for your only two. He's got a Culkin thing going on. He's jacked. He's a like a Culkin thing going on. Well, he's jacked. He's like a fit guy. I'm sure every single person on this show is horrifically traumatized by being molested as a child. Yeah, let's look at this cast.

I'm looking it up. Let's take a guess and see which ones have been molested. Worst cooks? It's just the normal people. Most of them. Most of them. Worst cooks in America

2025. No, I want to get my tattoos removed. That's part of my 2025 New Year's resolution. Get it, get it, get it zapped.

Tattoos removed. Get it zapped up and moved to wherever he did. $900, bitch. Last time I got a quote for my heart tattoo on my fucking did. $900, bitch. Last time I got a quote for my heart tattoo on my fucking ear, $900. That's crazy because it's so small.

That should be a $400 job. There's no, but there's no blood flow to your ear when you need the blood flow to that's what aids in getting the tattoos removed. Hessa, where does this gay guy have it on him? What? Where's the tattoo that

you placed me that you were just saying it's like literally on his like ribs like the left his left ribs facing off to the side yeah it's like why would you put it there i mean that's where that is gay men love getting tattoos there you should step it off and put it there but for that to be the one tattoo that you have because that was his only tattoo for a while But for that to be the one tattoo that you have, because that was his only tattoo for a while. Well, you know, you have one crazy night, and that's all it takes. And also, if you're devout Jewish like he is,

indicated by him getting a Star of David, yeah, you're not even allowed to get tattoos. You gotta get it zapped off every time you see your family. Yeah. Then put it back on. You keep getting it zapped off. And then you keep getting it, putting it on an inch to the right

so it's like a zoetrope. Frankie Grande. He's listed as Frankie Grande Big Brother Contestant. Oh. Period. He's been busy. He's successful. I love Frankie. For what he's done

for the gay failure community he has no talent he's done nothing he just has a famous sister and look at what he's done with it he's been on two shows he's been on two shows and I bet he's had sex

he's having sex on Ariana's name for sure hang on hang on Frankie has gotten because he He's been on two shows and I bet he's had sex. He's having sex on Ariana's for sure. The amount of hype Frankie has gotten because he is Ariana's 100%. Hang on. Tiffany Pollard aka New York from I Love New York is on this season with

Frankie Grande. We gotta watch. They're gonna fight. If we do a Worst Cooks in America spinoff, like Undercover Billionaire, every episode. Yes, we have to. I love this show. We cook all the food. We do a video. It's so good.

I used to, when I was Yes, we have to do that. When I was like 12 or whenever that show came out, I really wanted to pretend that I couldn't cook and apply and then show up and kind of fake it. For the first one, they say,

okay, all 20 of you have to make a dish and then we're going to only pick the ones that show promise. And then secretly, they only pick the 10 worst. Isn't that a good fake out? Yeah. Kind of like Death Note. It. Kind of like Death Note. It's kind of like

Death Note. It's like Death Note where they say that they're only filming in the, what's the province, Hessa? Shinjuku?

Yeah, sure. Thank you. Ontario. Ontario. Ontario. I have no clue what you're talking about.

Drop a Death Note in the comments if you know what they're talking about I like the plot of Death Note is that they're like he's just under surveillance and they're like we gotta check to see if this guy writes in a notebook I think I just blew one person's mind

yeah if that's you let me know in the comments probably everyone let us know in the comments so um how's the new Queer Eye Everyone let us know in the comments. How's the new Queer Eye? Love. Love the new Queer Eye.

How are they doing? Jock and I got in a huge argument last episode because he was maintaining that I hate JVN. I was trying to say that my feelings on JVN have evolved. What Jock said was that you hated all gay men. Well, that's just, that is simply not true. I love gay men. I love gay men. I think that's obvious.

Just because I'm not, you know, slaying and yossing with them doesn't mean I hate them. I hate, I critique them because I love them. Yeah. Like a father. Like a father. Like a daddy. Like a father yes like a daddy like a daddy so your opinion on jvn has changed well i still think like like his daddy absolutely demonic person i find i find him to be a kind of

amazing like avatar of sorts for it's like the death note guy. He's like a demonic. He's evil. He's like Ryuk. Yeah, he's scary looking. JVN is like Ryuk. Why not? He's scary looking. Why not? He floats. Yeah, he floats. He kills people. I don't think JVN is really floating, honey. He's a sinker.

He sinks. He's floating now. Xur is floating. Xur is floating Zura is off his body positivity is officially over y'all Trump is president and if you're not

skinny you're done you're done okay if you're fat you're gay if you're fat you're gay

in for this year dropping your notebook down to the human world yeah write your name down in your skinny note exactly um yeah no JV on his office but he is world. Write your name down in your skinny note. Exactly.

JVN is off of Zempik, but he is still fat as fuck in the recent season. They're in Vegas and famously this is off the heels of JVN's cancellation. Do they mention it? Do they reference it? No. He's famously still canceled from dropping the dogs at

his window yeah and a cat fell out of his window yeah i yeah i i was hitting him i was hitting jvn hard on that i know i remember i made that one go viral it was it was when his cat fell out of a window and he posted a video of himself crying yeah Yeah. And I screen recorded it and put it on Twitter. It's like, he ate his cat. Didn't it happen twice that his cats died? It did happen twice. Both JVN and Lita Dunham are, they leave behind just a trail of dead animals. A trail of dead animals, yeah.

Yeah. But no, I hit JVN real hard on his cat walking out of his window. And then, of course, you know, as we all know, I said that he has AIDS or whatever. And he responded to that one when I was fired. But yeah, I used to hate him a lot. It was more just fun to pick on him. yeah i used to hate him a lot it was more just fun to pick on him but now i just i accept i think for who he is and i accept this kind of thing as just a a cultural mainstay jvn will be around jvn ism

isn't really going anywhere yeah um it's becoming cornier but hate the game um yeah so i think you i think he's kind of endearing i think he he's annoying. It's like the way you have a friend of yours who you know, you just kind of laugh at. It's a comfort to have him around. I'm looking at him. It's a comfort to have him around. Ben,

around Christmas, my mom was brought up JV and I'm like, you know, he hates Ben. He's posted about Ben and my mom was like, up JV and I'm like you know he like hates Ben like he's posted about Ben and my mom was like oh really why and without even skipping a beat I looked her straight in the eyes and I said literally for no reason

so much I'm not gonna tell her what he said thank you so much for defending me yes of course it was like literally for no reason you shouldn't have brought that up. Don't look it up.

It's pretty bad. Literally no reason. Pretty bad. That's funny because on the other side my grandparents are like so how's Ben and Chloe Wise these days?

They know all your tea. Oh my god, I forgot about that. Wait, do you have beef with her? I do not. i have no beef with chloe yeah yeah no no no no um we've been talking about two two like last episode we had a we had to cut a 20 minute that has after you left last episode yeah i know exactly what part

you know the gay comedian oh yes after you left after you left we did about another 20 minutes in detail we're not talking about it I'm not cutting another thing you know the one comedian

Brandon Wardell oh I know who it is stop naming names now we had stop? We had to cut about 25 minutes because of jock saying some things. I was I was shocked that he knew

them and I'm like, oh God, it's like the worst person to have your tea. Yeah, he is just, you know, he's flapping his mouth and he also can't remember anything. So it's just like the way he told the story back to me when he called me a kike stop

this is a free episode I mean that's whatever I don't care about that yeah I agree with him but yeah anyways we should hop off this topic what else is going on? Wicked has just beat $600 million at the box office.

Who did? Wicked. $700 million. $700 million. Do y'all think Ariana Grande is anorexic? Yeah, whatever. Well, because Frankie Grande, what would you rather do? Be anorexic or eat Frankie Grande's cooking?

Or I would rather make $700 million at the box office. That's why she's anorexic is because Frankie Grande is her cook and he makes terrible food because he's such a bad cook exactly true I mean she does look fucked up I wish her well I do I like Ariana

she looks fucked up I wish her well it's so cool she does better luck next time sweetie She looks fucked up. I wish her well. It's so cool. She does. I wish her better luck next time, sweetie. She does not look good. She is clearly struggling. Well, you clearly didn't see Wicked.

She looks fucked up. I love her. Not this year. Not her year. No, she needs to love herself. You clearly haven't seen Wicked. Why does she do that in Wicked I'm sure they love them I'm sure they learn a lot

about loving themselves in the fucking show actually Elva learns a lot in part one but Glinda learns a lot in part two Glinda who the fuck wrote this this is like how Frank Baum wrote Glinda there's a lot of parts in Gregor Maguire wrote Galinda there's a lot of parts in Wicked where she Maguire wrote Glinda. There's a lot of parts in Wicked

where she's like, no, I'm really so happy about my body, but I'm really just not hungry. And she keeps saying that over and over again. She keeps going to the bathroom. I could never do it. What? Nancy Pelosi's looking kind of fat.

Period. She's looking kind of like when your face gets set like my face is kind of fat right now it's like if you know like water retention yes exactly you can tell when someone's having like a fat month I think she's having like a fat year

a fat month is so crazy you know what I mean what if it was fatties at home drop an F drop a cake emoji in the comments if you know what I mean here's one for everyone what if instead of Nancy Pelosi

it was Nancy Lugosi she was like a Dracula she was like Dracula oh yeah what if it was Nancy what if it was Nancy like how they used to call gay guys that would be really good

I would love that I'd be really good every time someone says Nancy Pelosi they say whoa whoa whoa talking about her husband Nancy Pelosi yeah that's a good one Hesse you playing Baltero

what is Baltero what the fuck is that Ben would you just give us a minute I'm looking up Baltero Baltero is the indie card based roguelike deck building roguelike that swept swept

swept the steam game awards for indie devs based roguelike deck building roguelike that swept they swept the Steam Game Awards for indie devs. Oh shit. It is insane. Is it really fun? I like a good card game. I like a good It's so much fun. I really like Gwyn from the

game from The Witcher 3. That's a really fun game. It's so nerdy to play a game inside another game. It really is. It's so nerdy. It's like playing Fortnite and just going fishing.

Well, I mean, Ben, we do that. We play Fortnite and we go to the Fall Guy Glassbridge Squid Game room. Yeah. We literally do that. You were like, I'm just going to finish this one part. I did get into it. You were like, I'm just going to finish this.

Once I figure something out, I want to win it. You didn't get to the end, did you? It's hard to introduce me to new concepts. That little fruitcake beat you to the end. Then the whole bridge fell apart. some child faggot beat me up some Nancy

some Nancy Frankie Frankie was some pipe smoking Nancy what's Spanish for small pequeno Frankie pequeno

you know what I mean period bitch I watched Rain Man recently for the first time and honest to god were you looking in the mirror honest to god honest to god I rain man I would fuck

me and this guy would tear up the town no we would have so much fun we would go out on the town you and the autistic guy? yeah no you need a handler to have fun I'm the handler

darling you the rain woman period you need like Owen Wilson taking you around town Owen Wilson that's who you think it is in Rain Man no I don't know what you're talking about you're thinking of Woody Harrelson

you're thinking of the basketball movie it is Tom Cruise in Rain Man yeah and Dustin Hoffman yeah and then Tom Cruise is Dustin Hoffman. Yeah, and then Tom Cruise is Dustin Hoffman's younger brother. Yeah, older brother.

Or Tom Cruise is the younger brother. And he finds out his dad dies and leaves everything to this autistic brother that he didn't know he had. And he kidnaps him. I'd be so pissed off if that happened. What the fuck? Then he becomes friends with him. I'd be so pissed off if that happened. What the fuck? It's very... No, but then he becomes friends with him.

It's actually a really good movie. It's actually a really good... No, he, like, kidnaps him and, like, tries to... He learns that he can... Yeah, but as he's kidnapping him, he, like, realizes, like, oh, actually, this is my brother and I love him. And then he stops caring about the money

and he's like, I don stops caring about the money and he's like I don't care about the money anymore I just want I just want to like my brother to live with me so we can hang out and have adventures it's very sweet it's a great movie but it doesn't work without the Tom Cruise that's where you got it wrong

do you need a Tom Cruise I can be the Tom Cruise yeah will you? Yeah, that works. Short game. You would abandon both of us. I would get so... You guys would start doing the...

Talking about video games. I would be like... They're talking about games in The Witcher. You're talking about games within games. Yes, absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'd be out. 1,000%.

Well, speaking of games within games... and I'd be out 1000% well uh speaking of games within games um you've spoken weed again yes this is a game within a game smoking a weed is a game within a game okay first of all

how am I the autistic one Jen just said that she has nightmares about shapes okay that is the most autistic shit i have ever heard in my life i think you both are that i am so i had the scariest nightmare i can't explain it but it was these stacking shapes what the fuck are you talking about actually now that you put it that way I'm like literally okay

defenseless it's us it's me Jen and the rain man would you shut up shut up oh just shut up that's how Jen's grandparents talk to each other oh just shut up. That's how Jen's grandparents talk to each other. Oh, just shut up, Jerry.

You know, Mr. Beast, the wizard told me that we got to put you in a cage. That's like something, that's something that Dustin Hoffman mumbles during that scene you're proving it. Mr. Beast told me we have to put you in a cage. No, the wizard of Oz. Mr. Beast told me we have to put you in a cage. The wizard of Oz told me we have to put you in a cage. Mr. Beast told me we have to put you in a cage.

The Wizard of Oz told me we gotta put you in a cage. Mr. Beast. What time is it? We have to watch Beast Game. We have to watch Beast Game 11.30. 11.30 we have Beast Game. It's on Thursdays so I have a whole week. Nice try. It's on Thursdays.

Good god. Nice try. Bitch. it's on Thursday oh my god nice try bitch you call yourself autistic you don't even know what day Beast Games comes out would you shut up oh shut up shut up

yeah I think Jock is doing better y'all that's good ball zipper blood is under control well the ball zipping I doubt he even remembers that because he has MRSA which is the antibiotic resistant staph infection where is it?

on his scalp? it's yeah on his head back of the head, back of the head, top of the head. It's on the side of his face right now, apparently. I just can't. Last time we recorded with him, it looked like someone had tried to slit his throat. He had a huge bandage across his neck.

He just, I can't imagine him ever using topical medicine. Like, remembering. He also poured acid into his eyes. Yeah, he poured it into his eyeball. Like LSD? No. Like some kind of cleaning solution

that he was supposed to put on his... He's dying, basically. No, he's fine. He's doing better, he said. He's better in that he will no longer be in pain at this time. That's good. That's so good. He's fine, everyone. He's fine.

He's pouring acid in his eyes and he's going to be great. Well, he's in a happy mood. I called him yesterday to chat. I call Jock to chat all the time. He's my bestie y'all. That's your rain man. Yeah. That's a rain day. Honestly, it is

kind of my rain day. it is kind of my rain my rain rain them thunderstorm bay you can't really bring rain is calming no it's hurricane yeah you kind of got a dud as far as casino winds go yeah no hurricane then is off the

coast of the shore girl absolutely but I told him you know you want to break news you want to bring man that's also true he's all he is also pain man i love hurricane day though that makes that's yeah that really perfectly describes it um but you know you want to break news to him when he's in a good mood and he was in a good mood so I told him I'm coming to Louisiana and he's happy

we're not doing another Mardi Gras movie because he can't handle that but we'll probably do some video content so you're smoking weed now well no I'm off weed I smoked weed for a day and then I got norovirus and yes they're linked

and yes they're linked that could be true because I just bought a vape pen the first time in like four years I'm off weed I'm not doing any weed I hate it I hate it I hate it it was my first step back in no I did it I had to go to bed I haven't done it in like months literally months

I'm just on I'm on some super strength magnesium. Which knocks me. I'm on swag-nesium. I just got the moon juice magnesium. I'm on fag-nesium. Give me that gag-nesium.

And I'm on hag-nesium. As I know that's right. I'm about to gag on my knees. Yum. No, you on sag-nesium. Okay, old bag-nesium. Sag after, darling. Very good.

And then I'll do a little bit of kratom. Just a little bit, y'om just a little bit y'all more like Gatom did you see the Brian Johnson doc? no I didn't watch it you guys didn't respond to me I did not want to watch that

then just say I don't want to watch this I watched it the day it came out you watched it? yeah darling it focuses so much on him and Mormonism there's no new insights for someone like us out. You've watched it? Yeah, darling. It focuses so much on him and Mormonism. There's no new insights for someone like us that's been watching it for years. He's such an annoying

piece of shit. I'm so sick of him. I don't want to watch that shit. I like him. I just bought the stack. Girl, you're a maniac. I bought the stack. What's the stack? I bought his stack from his website of

pills. And? and supplements and vitamins. But stacks, like in your nightmares, they stack. Oh, my God. Oh, no. Oh, no. So what's your new stack? Do you want to compare stacks, Sean? I'm back on mine.

Well, the nice thing about this is I don't have to think about it. I just take what he tells me. Well, you don't know what's in it? I read it once and I was like, looks good. What if it's testosterone? I made sure it wasn't. That's the one that you look for? I looked for it once and I trust

past me to make decisions for current me. True. Otherwise, I would be plagued by decisions. I'd be frozen with options kind of talk we're kind of talking it depends on how far in the past yeah i mean no more than a couple like six months sure you call me sir you don't know you just said sir gotta keep you on your toes

exactly sir yes ma'am you're talking and I just look at you and I go sir you're telling me how your day is and I'm just like what's up bro I gotta start doing that that's hilarious

for no reason look at you and just go sir oh that's awesome man sir that's so cool man there was this one time when I was working at Bagro when I was a mean gay waiter there's this one time when I was working at when I was a gay waiter

there's this ancient man I was waiting tables in the basement and I was like trying to like get the fuck out of there there was a Nosferatu that walked in no he was so fucking old like one of those old guys who like 100

maybe one of the biggest numbers where you're like oh he's gonna die he's gonna die in here look at that big number walking towards yeah he was it he looked like he was an immense pain just moving you know and he was with his whole family and his family left like they're all getting up sleep but his family classic family of an old person thing to do they didn't give a shit about him and they all walked upstairs walked out and then I realized that he left

his bag on his chair and he is like and what about his what nothing I was gonna make a joke about his wife being a bag nice nice well his wife being a bag. Nice. Well, his wife is dead because

she wasn't there. I'm assuming she's dead. But he like, it's so hard to describe the way he walked, but it's like, imagine you can't bend your knees and you can only move either foot like an inch at a time. So he's kind of scuttling out of there. Like a Courage the Cowardly

Dog villain. Like a Courage the Cowardly Dog villain. Like when, like in the Claymation Santa Claus movie where they're doing put one foot in front of you. Sure. And one of those wind-up toys that you go like just rocks side to side to move forward. So he was doing that

and I was trying to tell him he left his bag and I don't know why but I said it really gaily I was like sir sir and then it took him like he had to do like a 90 point there's no way that faggot's talking to me

he had to do like a 90 point turn to like face me because he was screaming at his back and it took him like a 90 point turn to like face me because he was screaming at his back and it took him like a full minute to turn around just like holding his back out and I realized I was just like being a huge cunt of this guy so

he said then he said Nancy my bag died four years ago nice no but then I helped him up the stairs because I felt so bad check this out what I don't know what that is

I can tell you want me to ask but I'm not going to it's the $30 air one water why do you want that because they were having a 40% off sale at happier grocery you're sometimes so cheap and then sometimes buying the most retarded thing

for no reason. Shalom, darling. Shalom. No, literally. So what's the deal with the water? It is the freshest tasting water I've ever had. I guarantee it's from a tap. I guarantee it's from a tap. I guarantee it's from a tub.

It's natural artisan water. Oh, they got an artisan working on it? Oh, wow. A guy with a chisel hitting a pool. It's carbon neutral, you faggots. A hammer and chisel just hitting a pool. It's naturally one of

the world's purest waters. It's one of the gayest jobs. I'm a water artisan. I'm a water artisan. I wish I would take that job though. I bet you would, faggot. No! No!

Sorry, I'll stop the sir bit. I'm going to bring that out. I'm going to bring that out when you least expect it it's gonna be so funny we're kind of like podcast artisans if you think about it speak on that go deeper nope I'm done that's it

enough said artist mans nice nice podcast artist mans artist mans said. Artishmans. Nice. Nice. Podcast Artishmans. Artishmans. Podcast HeHims. Okay.

What's that? Sorry. It's touched a nerve. Artisan HeHims. Uh-uh. No? Okay. Sorry. Podcast Hers. to be validated podcast hers what about

so Trump bought Greenland is that real he changed the Gulf of Mexico's name to the Gulf of America he's trying to buy Greenland I kind of always thought that. What the fuck does he want Greenland for? Because Peter Thiel wants to build a big ice castle there

or some shit. That's literally why. I'm not kidding. Wait, actually this is confirmed? I mean, yeah, pretty much. I think it's... I read it somewhere. Couldn't he just buy Greenland

and have it be some kind of twink libertarian death cell? You think they're going to sell it to him? You think Denmark's going to sell it to Peter Thiel? They're not going to sell it to Trump. You mean Iceland doesn't own it? Yeah, no one's going to buy... Well, Iceland's beautiful.

Iceland could fetch a fine price. Yeah, but Greenland's not much not much to shake a stick at Greenland is actually full of ice well actually if you've ever read the William Vollman book The Ice Shirt and Iceland is actually full of greens not much to shake a stick at

actually Iceland is actually full of queen you know what I mean what does that mean it means I'm done I can't think of anything else to say I'm just scraping the muddle maybe you can just lead us when we speak about the I mean two of us have norovirus

and something's wrong with Hessa too she won't say what it is she's being cagey about it it's her time of the month I'm transgender us have norovirus and something's wrong with Hessa too. She won't say what it is. She's being cagey about it. It's your time of the month. I'm transgender. I have gender dysphoria. It's that time of the month for Hessa. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I don't know why he wants Greenland. Who fucking knows?

I saw Claudia Scheinbaum. She said that she wanted to... She was was like let's change Texas to Mexico America or something I fucking love her She's really Claudia who?

Claudia Scheinbaum she's the president of Mexico She's so cool Did you see Her video she was like we have to be careful Of fentanyl and she showed a bunch of videos of America yes yes she was like you bitches are dying off fentanyl don't let these dirty immigrants into our country

period they need to deport all of these fucking Mexico City faggots if she did that it's something like she needs to get them out of there lose a lot of revenue Mexico City doesn't need yeah every single like white gay guy

loves going to Mexico City yeah that's like half of tourism GDP darling Mexico City does not need gaffers there they don't need GDP darling Reed specifically

who oh shit no not Reed Reed can be there I love you Reed Reed specifically. Who? Oh, shit. No, not Reed. Reed can be there. I love you, Reed. Nothing against Reed. You know, Ben, for some of us, he can be... I was not thinking of... Yeah, Reed is... He's not a gaffer. Cinematographer. Yeah, cinematographer. Totally different.

Totally different. Cinematographers named Reed can stay in Mexico City. It's not a shot at him. No, he's a sweet guy. I love Reed. My gay. Gaffers, Mexicans, whites, cinematographers,

they're all the same people. One love. Period. No, she should get rid of him. Yeah. All of them. Honestly, everyone should get rid of him. Send them all to Greenland.

Send everyone to Greenland. Maybe they're trying to make the gay island on Greenland. Oh, Squid Games? What? Like a Squid Games island. Squid Games.

Like send them all to the island. Yeah. I would love to live on Gay Island. Do you think you would win Squid Games? Isn't that what Fire Island is? Maybe I'd hate Gay Island. Never mind. Would you go to Gay island if you had to play

squid games to get there never mind i would rather squid games yeah we can wait let's talk about it um have you seen have you seen the meme where it's like the girls just i see a korean guy in the train they're like squid games like pushing a korean man into the truck just like just looking at a korean guy saying like i mean the korean people do that to americans westerners they look at a like black guy and they just say obama you know yeah exactly they look at you ben and they just say Obama. Yeah, exactly. They look at you, Ben, and they're like John Wayne.

They look at Ben and they say John Waters movie. When I was in Thailand, they actually were calling me Johnny Depp. That's crazy. Johnny Depp. They were calling you past Johnny Depp.

Trying to usher you into this little room where you could pick a boy Johnny Depp from the past I did go to a really fucked up place called Aqua Boys when I was there oh my god I would prefer to go to Mermaid Men

you know a bunch of lesbian there's not a lot of men, honey. It's just boys and ladyboys and women. It's all the same. Ladyboys, gaffers, teepees, Mexicans, whites. They all

go to squid games. I was also 19 at the time, so I was a boy myself. It was boy-on-boy violence. So you were violent with them? No, if it had to happen. boy myself. It was boy on boy violence. So you were violent with them? No. If it had to happen. Interesting.

It was boy on boy violence. So you got into a little boy on boy violence. Okay, note it. Note it. No. It was boy on boy violence. No, no. Oh my god. A little boy on boy violence no no oh my god

boy on boy violence shut yourself tactical nuke tactical nuke no no I did nothing I did nothing I did nothing wrong when I was there

just a little violence just a little legal violence it was boy on boy it's fine mind your business nothing he didn't pay for I can tell you bitches haven't been to Thailand if you know what I'm saying

if you know what I'm saying do you know what I'm saying do you know what I'm saying no I could never do it yeah can you explain no I don't want to explain it interesting I don't want to explain it it's too mean

in fact it's the mayor of Bangkok calling me right now if you were in fucking Thailand they wouldn't call you a lady boy they'd call you a boyboy. A boyboy. Well, honey, there'd be violence. That would be violence.

No, they look amazing. Whatever the hell they're doing over there, it's... Well, not when you're done with them. I'm not having a I did not have any sex with them they have a picture of Johnny Depp up and they say no entry no entry wanted no

do not read him in it is crazy flying back because you're just on the plane with all these like ruddy faced like old men and like cargo shorts and it's like oh you were there just like probably raping children Ben that was a mirror

it's not a mirror they don't have oh my god Ben no that was a mirror a hall of mirrors on a plane. That plane doesn't exist. Sounds like a Squid Game. Okay, I would absolutely play Squid Games.

Yeah, me too. I don't even know anything about it. I think I would get really far, but I do think Ben would win. I don't know anything about it. Thank you. Oh my god. I love survival games. I saw one game from it, you just have to stop when there's a red light.

So watch Squid Game. It's easy as fuck. Exactly, that's what I'm saying. That's supposed to be hard. You don't know how to stop running. Some don't. Okay, I do. Ben wouldn't if they put a little tie boy

at the end of the rope. Yeah, right. Not even my type. Ben wouldn't if they put a little tie boy at the end of the rope yeah right not even my type alright I gotta wrap up why what are you gonna do I'm taking up this whole room in my friend's house that I'm staying at

why are you farting no because I'm recording got her it's called the bathroom the room she's taking up is the bathroom yeah Hessa huh

she's trying to go so bad I'm in the living room Hessa you should watch squid game okay let's just keep Hessa on as long as we can. Little rec from your old friend, Jen. S-Q-U-I-T-G-A-Y-M-E.

Squid Game. Thank you for listening, everyone. Thank you for listening, everyone. Let's plug Squid Game. Yeah, listen to Squid Game. Their new album is out now. What's it called? Pervert.

Yeah. Squid Cane. Which was famously written about Ben. what's yeah squid cane which was famously written about Ben squid cane yeah boy on boy no it was not an album inspired by my time in Thailand that's not no

that's enough to end on thank you everyone Ethel Kane was that little boy no okay I'm ready to go now That's enough to end on. Thank you, everyone. Ethel Kane was that little boy. No. Okay, I'm ready to go now. Bye. All right. I've been down But not like this before

Can't be around This kind of show no more All, all that's a dream This kind of show no more All, all that you dream Light comes through shining Silver lining and clouds And clouds change the scene Yeah, rain starts a-washing

All of caution Right into your life And you start to realize That what is true Is what you do So you just follow the rules And keep your eyes on the road That's ahead of you Thank you.