Seeking Derangements - SD 376 - Hyperbolic Chamber

Episode Date: January 25, 2025

Hello Seekers! Ben here, Hesse and Jacques join me today to talk about the Inauguration, the various facelifts it featured, and of course what we expect from a 2nd Trump turn. Then we turn to two of the most annoying people we frequently cover on this show–Bill Maher and Bryan Johnson and watch the Club Random episode wherein Bryan literally talks about dating his own son. Get Tickets to Jacques LA show here: https://www.lodgeroomhlp.com/shows/game-show-pig/

All right. Doc, are you there? Hello? Am I there? Hello? You're here. You're here and you're queer. What happened to your bang? Nothing. I just knocked it over.

Okay. It wasn't open. It's fine. It's nothing happened. I just stepped on it and it cut my foot in two, but nothing happened. Why? Because I said goddammit? Yes. You screamed goddammit. I'm just kind of in a goddammit kind of mood.

I can tell. Well, welcome everyone. It's this week's Seeking Derangements. As you can tell, Jock and Hessa are both back with me. And you are hearing this on the free feed. So if you want all three of us, more of all three of us. Me and Hessa got away from the camps. I could not believe we got in them.

Subscribe. Well, you're back, bitch. Go subscribe to our Patreon. That's patreon.com. We can hear some more of those beautiful wet coughs in our entire back catalog for only $5 a month. Go subscribe there.

Let's get started with today's episode. This is our first episode of Trump's second term. I don't know if you know. I have the perfect way to kick it off. Okay. It's a new character that don't know. And I think I have the perfect way to kick it off. Okay. It's a new character that I've invented. Okay.

And I think you're both going to love it. I think you're both going to love it. I'm already very. You guys, you know you always love my characters that I bring to the show. Yeah, I think the word love is very different in a lot of cultures. Where love might mean passion and good feelings to some people, love might mean something else to others. Yes, true. After watching the entire Club Random thing,

I can only talk like that now. We'll get to that. That's a little teaser. Hester, just give me your character before i shoot myself on camera okay so this character is this is an ira guy who keeps insisting to everyone in his like uh his ira cell wait wait wait like the irish republican army yeah it's an ira guy who keeps insisting that they all, that him and all of his like compatriots, they learn Mandarin Chinese. Okay.

So ready? Yeah. The old guards dead. Wait, let me get into it. The old guards dead. The old guards dead. We could well rob a bank.

Aye. But wouldn't you rather learn Mandarin Chinese? Wouldn't you rather learn Mandarin Chinese? Imagine if we all spoke Mandarin Chinese. Everybody John Lennon. Ava, please. No English in the safe house. It's only Mandarin Chinese, please. No English in the safe house. It's only Mandarin Chinese, love.

We go to practice. So that's what you guys think. That's the vibe shift everyone's been talking about, y'all. What do you guys think of my character? I'll give you a review. I think, you know,

keep trying and that could be the first strike of the day. You get three strikes. Who's my North Irish accent? Any North Irish? The key to doing a Belfast type accent is that everything you say

has to go up at the end like a question? That's how you do it. Pretty good. Okay, can I give some advice about if you want to do a Trump impression? Yeah. I've never heard you do an impression of anything, Chuck. I'm excited to hear this.

Chuck, can you do a Trump impression? Can you do one? Yeah. Well, my roommate's really good at doing them, and he always says it like really funny and he says the best way to do it is to pretend that you're playing the accordion at the same time and make your voice do what the accordion would be doing so let me just get my microphone stuck between my fat Travis insert Max can you insert the raw audio of an accordion just playing yeah maybe like a polka, a polka or something.

You're pulling your hands up. How are you doing that? Shut up, shut up. Holy shit. Holy shit. You've got to go up and down with like an accordion. All right, do it. Okay, you're like, we're not going to, we're going to drain the swamp.

We've got to, we've got to drain that swamp. We've got to bring it back down. I don't wanna drain My roommate's so good at doing it You just sound like Jock on a ship If he just played My roommate also does actually play the accordion So if he's holding the accordion

At the same time It doesn't really have the same effect I wish I could play the I wish I could play the accordion Honestly An accordion is such honestly it's a beautiful instrument because also they all look like every accordion looks like a

Cadillac from the 50s they're beautiful instruments I love the accordion my grandpa used to play one Cajun musician oh he's just a talented musician but

but I really wish y'all he could be here he won't ever do this but he would never come on here but he is dead I'm gonna miss him he's a good roommate but anyway so the accordion thing there really is something when he

does the impression and he mimics the accordion in his hand, it's working. I can understand there's a kind of almost pendulum-like sway to a lot of Donald Trump's manner of speak. And there is just a lot of inhaling and exhaling. But that's more like a bagpipe. Well, I guess an accordion is like an air instrument as well yeah yeah you pump the air did you guys did you guys watch the inauguration i'm wondering if you have any takeaways i didn't i saw some pictures from it but i didn't watch it myself i was at a diner and there was about only four people there because it was the day before the Cajun blizzard, which since 1964,

there has not only been four inches of snow recorded in Louisiana. Lafayette got 11. That's crazy. That's almost as much as was in Buffalo. Businesses shut down for two days. Nothing has been open for two days. Hospitals,

I don't even think were open. I think hospitals might have been open. I feel like you would be the first one to know if a hospital was closed because you're going to the concert. Well, no, no. I don't do it anymore. Also, the Cajun Blizzard is the newest item at Dairy Queen. It's shrimp.

Yeah, shrimp. Etouffee. Andouille sausage. Yeah, roux. Yeah, some roux. Cajun guy. It's an andouille sausage yeah some rue cajun guy it's an old cajun man's tar colored spit because he thought it was a

spittoon everyone knows that a cajun a cajun sundae is simply just a piece of king cake with sauce served on top with banana foster sauce and a banana. To get us back on track here,

you saw the inauguration at a diner, Jock. Were you clapping? Were you crying? What was your takeaway, if you have any, from Donald Trump's second inauguration? First takeaway was, where is my coffee? It's too early for this.

Okay. My second takeaway was that... Yelling at a server. Well, actually, I'm good friends with the servers there, especially Cody, so I don't... Okay. Anyway, let me say that when I'm watching this out loud, I did see a woman just shaking her head going yes yes i was like oh shit in the diner in the there's probably only five people in the

diner total of course it's louisiana yeah um i mean he went so quickly with that thing about the genders i was like whoa it was like he said that the united the genders. I was like, Whoa. It was like, he said that the United, the United States government will only recognize, um, two genders, um, male and she male,

of course not. No male and female. Um, and yeah, I mean, it's, it's not, it's,

it's going to really suck. Right. I'm not excited for a second Trump term. Um, I'm glad I changed my gender marker before he, because he passed an executive order saying you can't anymore yeah and i think i think as far i mean correct me if i'm wrong here i don't know not to forestall any uh transgender's name change i think get that done as soon as possible but i do think that i gotta do that i think there's legal challenges that will be advanced towards certain executive orders i really don't know but um yeah it's gonna suck major dick i'm really not

excited for it but i mean the other thing is i have to lay all of the blame at the feet of the democratic party for this like they really have offered people nothing at all yeah um and i think like we haven't talked about the ceasefire on the show but something about there's something about the ceasefire that made evident to me like the democratic party's like standard operating procedures and it's very depressing but it's something that's been obvious for quite a while now like joe biden did nothing to push back against the israeli genocide of palestine like absolutely nothing he had no care to do it he probably wanted it to happen he made zero threats or even vague notions to threatening the israeli government and that was something that came out after donald trump um you know leveraged something yeah it sees further and i'm under no illusion

that donald trump is going to be better when it comes to gaza palestine or the genocide that is happening there but what does it say that donald trump's desire to be seen as a deal maker and a desire to be seen as someone who's making some kind of positive change what does it say that donald trump's desire to be seen as a deal maker outpaces democrats democrats supposed morality on this question right because i remember hearing so much because I did not vote for Kamala Harris. I would have never voted for Kamala Harris, right? Like these people who are actively funding

and cheering on a genocide. What does it say that Donald Trump's desire to be seen as a dealmaker outpaces the Democrats' supposed morality here? Because I remember hearing constantly, oh, he's going gonna nuke it he's gonna turn it into a parking lot democrats gleefully saying this and donald trump three

days before his inauguration there's a ceasefire palestine's in the best condition it's ever been since biden has been president uh you know of course post-doctoral seventh i'm speaking but look i'm sure trump probably traded them the West Bank or something horrible. Like, who knows? But yeah, I mean, the other thing is the there I saw like a press conference with Biden where he was like, someone asked him, like, who is more responsible for this, you or Trump? And Biden said, Are you kidding me? These terms are the same terms I laid out last May. And I'm like, girl, that does not make it sound like you that that does

that makes it sound like it's him not you like yes no the fact that it's like oh i offered them this last may and they said no and it's like oh wait i now they're accepting and it's totally my fault and the other thing is no because of like because it happened well, like, while Biden was technically still in office, it's very much like the best of both worlds for Trump, because now he has possible deniability. Yeah. responsibility for it um but all of his most virulent like um you know genocidal insane like pro-israel like supporters now have the option of blaming it on biden and being absolutely so he loses no flack with that like no it's it is so so funny because the democrats are just like consistently step in it i mean you also see it with the tiktok ban again like trump was the person who wanted to ban tiktok and then the democratic party was like went along with it and it got banned and then

donald trump is taking the win here for giving it back to the american people i mean it is just so funny the democrats have the democrats have no juice they haven't had any juice they are corrupt party full of rapists and pedophiles and absolute like like legitimately mentally disabled people and they stand for nothing they offer nothing the only way that the democratic party and you saw this with the palestine with the refrain of he'll nuke it or it'll be a lot worse under trump it may very well be right but the fact of the matter is it's not it is not currently and this is their modus operandi right they tell you oh uh all of these boutique rights are going to be or social causes are going to be worse under trump and they very well could be i'm

speaking transgender immigrant gay you know, you know, even like housing, et cetera. I think grocery store prices. But but yeah, of course. But I'm just saying here that all of these things could marginally be or much could majorly be worse under Trump. But what is it? The Democrats have no plan for any of these things. They have no plan for any of these things. They're not protecting these rights in any meaningful way they just see these things as cudgels to hit over the top of that hit their voters over the top of the head with to get them to vote because the alternative is going to somehow be worse yeah it's like a hostage situation it's a hostage situation and the guy and the trump initiating a ceasefire is the most obvious example

that the Democrats have nothing to offer and that all of their threats that things are going to be worse under another administration are hostage tactics to keep people in line. It's so pathetic. And I hate them so much. And who knows what's going to happen

under a Trump administration. Of course, my money's not going to get worse for everyone um but it would have also have probably happened under a biden administration as well um it's a depressing time but i think like i don't know you think i don't have what you think trump and not to shashu uh text a lot? Natashashu? What's the Israel IDF guy? Sorry, say that again? His name is Modest Yahoo. Modest Yahoo.

You're not going to confuse me. Well, you're already confused because your name is not going to confuse me. No, because I got an Urban Outfitters music sampler in 2006 that featured a single by matash you and then i modest yahoo is now he became a commander he he became he became a commander in the idf he's in bless you as well okay whatever what's your question but do you

have a serious question yeah are they texting back and forth a lot? You think him and Trump? Who and Trump? Natisha Youhoo. Say the name. Natisha Youhoo is the black woman who invented Yahoo. The chocolate milk drink.

I think I've been pronouncing it wrong this time. We need to get Youhoo back on counters. No, no, no. Natisha, no. In you are. Please. What are you talking about? No, wait, hold on. Hold on.

I'm looking up his name. I can't believe you're getting it wrong. Benjamin Netanyahu. Okay, you're reading it and you still got it wrong. I mean, that was close though. Try again. Try again. It's hard to say something correct to who I don close though. Try again. It's hard to say something

correctly who I don't respect. Benjamin Netanyahu. Oh my God, y'all have the same first name. Benjamin Netanyahu. You got it. Benjamin Netanyahu. Back to your question. Are they amicable? Do you think they text normally?

Or is it only about the law? They love Trump. Israelis love Trump. Benjamin Netanyahu loves Trump. Yes, they are certainly talking, of course. And yeah, it's probably going to be terrible. Whatever solution is happening there is going to be horrible.

I wouldn't use the word solution in this instance. I don't know. Just don't let... Why? Well... Because it didn't solve anything. Hmm. No, I was just saying it might be insensitive. Because it reminds me of the acid

solution I poured in my eyes, Ben. No, because it reminds me of the final solution. Chemical nor final. It reminds me of the final solution. Isn't that what the nation's called it

yes yes jock um so at the inauguration one other thing i wanted to talk about here was i mean one final serious point about it is the people kind of uh capping as if donald trump is any kind of populist is that that's totally out the fucking window um because he was up there with every head of tech companies um just like the idea that this is a man of the people is so fucking funny to me because he's not going to give them shit he's not going to give them anything he will just give them a hatred of trans people hatred of immigrants but he's not going to he's not going to lower grocery prices he's not going to lower housing he's not going to do anything about health care. He didn't talk about any of these things during his inaugural speech.

He's just going to throw his chuds the red meat of hate and bigotry and xenophobia and racism. But he's not going to do anything for these fucking people. Is it really even possible to lower the grocery cost? Yes. Yes, it is. It is absolutely possible. But they're going up i just saw i mean they're up by like 23 and the whole the whole price of eggs thing is a complete red herring

because it's due to bird flu like i mean i'm not going to defend the brand of economy fuck him but it's like it's their fault for letting themselves be exploited on that um point by trump um but yeah he was up there with mark zuckerberg a bunch of fucking people like jeff bezos and on jeff bezos his wife i ooh la la love lauren sanchez yoda yoda delivery on jeff bezos his wife i love her she's so funny have you did you guys see her at the inauguration no i looked up inauguration on youtube and in my look up lauren sanchez at the inauguration you need to see the how the how her puppies were sitting. It was really iconic. Mark Zuckerberg caught,

he got caught checking out her tits behind Trump. Oh my God. Okay, let me, I'm looking up. Because she's literally, she's dressed in all white. She has like a sinister, sexy, duck-faced Miami appeal to her. Oh, she's a baddie.

Yeah, I love her so much. She's so funny. She's amazing. She's so funny. Her tits are out. She's wearing a bralette to the inauguration. Queen? Oh my god. She's so funny. She's a licensed helicopter pilot

Okay And she's dyslexic It's cause When little boys see her With those propeller hats on their head She's so hot the propeller starts Turning And they take off

I'm seeing old pictures of her And she definitely had a boob job. Yes, Jock. She did have a boob job. She's also had extensive facial plastic surgery. She's had every kind of job that you can see. She's had the Italian job.

Italian job. Rind job. Face job. No, she was amazing and it was so funny because like on the inaugural dais it's just like all of these like tech billionaires duck faced sassy latina hits out

lauren sanchez and then all there were so many wives with like incredibly fucked up faces there was one woman up there who looks like she chews tires for fun. It was insane. What's her name? I'm trying to look for her. I couldn't find her name, but I have a video to show you guys.

She's best friends with Jessica Alba, Lauren Sanchez. That makes a lot of sense. Wow. I'm, I'm looking at such a flashback picture from 2010. It's a picture of Lauren Sanchez, Chris Jenner and Caitlin Jenner. But this is Bruce.

Why did you stumble on Caitlin? Oh, there we go. There's a picture. There we go. Is that wrong to say it like that? Um, no, I feel like like get out of the kitchen bitch i feel like caitlin is caitlin is like one month away from being like just call me bruce she doesn't really care anymore do you do you find her to be a hero of yours hessa

yeah absolutely has she your cousin Are y'all cousins? Hessa, are all transgender women related? Like who? Like who, Jock? I was going to say. Who has a lot of cousins, Jock? Wasn't there like two trans Arquettes?

Jock, wait. Who's the woman on the right here? In this picture. That lauren sanchez i don't think it is that's lauren sanchez an actress right is it really that's lauren sanchez i'm looking at an article page 6 of 17 of 33 this is the endless youth in life 1733 is not a date that's not a real date shut the fuck up I said 17 out of 33 in a page don't tell Hesed to shut the fuck up

I'll say whatever the fuck I want what do you mean 17 out of 33 be nice Jock google page 6 Lauren Sanchez through the years her evolution in pictures and if you get to the 17th Nice, Jock. Google page six, Lauren Sanchez through the years, her evolution in pictures. And if you get to the 17th out of 33rd photo.

Wow. See, do you understand how saying, I'm looking at it, page six, 17 out of 33. Do you understand how that could be confusing to someone who doesn't know that it's a fly show? Fuck you, Hesse, you stupid bitch. Look, I don't, it might be hard if you've been huffing gasoline today. That's also

so mean to do, like, a slideshow of, like, someone who's had extensive plastic surgery throughout the years. She looks good, and I will say this about the Trump dais and all the wives up there. They looked like a kind of

uh you could you could see the advancements in plastic surgery and faceless in particular over the last 100 years it was like uh it was like an evolutionary chart where they just kept they kept looking better and better and better less fucked up i'm telling you there was this one bitch i'm oh i wish i could try to... You need to share the video. Play it in the... They own a plastic surgery company and she has like... She's got a maw on her.

She's got one of the biggest under jaws I've ever seen in my life. Here, I'll text you guys the video. Go to the chat. But it's quite something. It's quite something. I was shocked by her um and apparently her and her husband her and her husband here they both own a plastic surgery company and it's very obvious that they're uh you know by advertising

terrible advertising did you see them? I'm looking at the video right now. It's in the chat. The woman, I'm telling you, she looks like a pit bull that needs a muzzle. It's insane. How does that even happen? Oh my god.

It looks like she has the mumps. Her face looks like Mrs. P mumps dude she literally her face her face looks like mrs puff yeah well clearly it's a result of her in the mask she was trying to play a harmonica with no hands and the harmonica got stuck in between her

cheeks and you could see the little dimple on each side of her cheeks where the where the harmonica was stuck she looks like she was doing it would just sound like the harmonica was stuck. That sounded like she was talking. It would just sound like the harmonica. She looks like she was doing one of those looks maxing Chad workouts

and did it way too long. Yes. She looks like my 80-year-old cousin on my dad's side that literally drove off of the side of a mountain on a motorcycle on accident and survived. dad's side that literally drove off of the side of a mountain on a motorcycle on accident and

survived and his plastic surgery his reconstructive face surgery is so brutal it is like looking at a polygon but he's 80 when he drove off that's the most brutal

thing you can imagine is a shape that they teach in geometry. It's really, he has a rock. He's so hard to look at. He looks like two plus two to me. No, can I really, can I, let me just say that his face, his face looks like a, he looks like

a damn serpent. He looks like someone hopped on pop. It looks like someone hopped on pop. Okay, look, look, Pop. Okay, look. He has the face. I guess this was before plastic surgery could have been that good. Because they just managed to have

a lot of flat planes on his face. There's a lot of square flat planes. I'm serious when I say he looks like a polygon. He looks like Andro. Imagine falling down the side of a cliff or a mountain on a motorcycle and surviving. Ben kind of smiled when I said it at first. He held back his smile.

I was imagining you falling off. Well, yeah, that's hilarious. There's nothing fucking funnier. I was imagining you just off. Well, yeah, that's hilarious. There's nothing fucking funny there. I was imagining you just roller skating off a cliff. And it did bring a smile to my face. Yeah, and then you would freeze in the air. You would freeze in the air and then you'd look at the camera. And then you'd look down and then you'd look back at the camera and you'd hold up a sign that said,

Help me, but help would be spelled wrong. And then you would fall down yes the e would be backwards i was this is kind of related but i was on top of this hospital like a few days ago before the freeze on top of a hospital a few days ago just hanging out on top of the party it's like it's like an easily to access roof anyway you a patient no no no no, no, no, no. I was just there. I had dinner nearby. It's easily to access, Ben, please. Yeah, so I was at the top of this, like the, I guess, seventh or sixth story or whatever. And I was like, honestly, like,

I'm just like, honestly, like, I just wouldn't jump off this if I was going to kill myself. I was thinking of that, just like, like, honestly, I just wouldn't. It just seems like a lot more, you know, I would rather fall off. No,

I didn't go up there to do that. No, no. I just went up there just to go. I was just hanging out. And then I looked, I would never kill myself. I was like,

I'm not gonna do it. I was like, I'm, I was just saying it. Well, no, I was just saying it to myself and then i looked down and i i've been you saw a piece of food on the sidewalk and you felt

the pole you felt the pole i i i i would never drop i would never jump off the sixth door of a hotel because i saw a donut i saw a guy in a donut down i felt bullied because i was just up there for normal just hanging out on a roof reasons and then i make you feel bullied well because i read this sign that said crisis counseling there is hope make the call and i was like do i look like i'm in a crisis i'm like why do if i if i come to the roof okay maybe they should make the roof less easy to access if they have to put that sign there. Wouldn't that be a better solution? I almost was like,

well, do you want me to do it then? Like, if the sign is telling me not to. If someone tells me not to do something I'm interested in. You're so ODD that you'd literally kill yourself if someone said not to. Oh, oppositional defiance disorder. Yes.

Yeah, maybe. Yeah. yeah hey respect respect brother that you're a real player totally get it it's the same um yeah i wouldn't kill myself i would fake my own death i would fake my own suicide ben's too proud to kill himself i would kind of crack it up a little bit maybe if you have other tabs open or something. Oh, no, I don't. I, um... Hessa's not cracking up at all. She doesn't need any, um... Hang on.

Oh, she is cracking up. I'm going to leave and rejoin. Is spotty. Okay, sounds good. Alright, Jock, what do you have to say about Hessa now that she's gone? Do it quick. You have about 30 seconds. When you said she was cracking, I was like, that's really not... That do you have to say about hess now that she's gone do it quick you have about 30 seconds when you said she was cracking i was like that's really not that was not nice to say about her voice i was like that's very phobic of you and god i was like if anything's

cracking she just needs some what do you call that chapstick um you know because those lips would be cracking crack lips the bitch probably still got another 15 seconds. Honestly, I feel like if she's not doing something new with her hair by 2025, she's boring me. So I'm done with the mid-length hair. I just have a lot more expectations for her that I'm not going to vocalize. Hey, Jock, don't talk about Hessa like that. That's so rude.

What was Jock saying? It's fine. I was trying to get him to stop Hessa, but he just would not stop. I didn't say nothing. What I did say is that I just expect you to do something new with your hair this year. Or I'm going to respect you less.

Maybe you should do something new with your hair, Jack. When Ben said that you were cracking, I was like, don't say that about Hessa. She tries to put on as much of Lip Chapstick as possible. They just crack in this time of the season. Lip Chapstick? You know your Lip Chapstick.

Lip Chapstick. It's the time of season. Did you guys see Melania looking like a Men in Black? No, I saw her looking like the Hamburglar. She looked like one of the gangsters that tries to kill

Bugs Bunny. I'm here to steal your hamburgers. She's dressed like Malcolm X at the beginning of Malcolm X. I mean, she literally her look was giving like Mussolini's

wife like it was like ultimate fascism chic sure okay yeah I don't know I think Mussolini I would never be like running around being like fascist but I mean isn't that like the chicest version of what a fascist do you know what fascism is just like can you give me a definition of fascist rochelle mussolini and she is i will be honest there's a picture where she's wearing a similar hat oh but there are flowers on the top i mean it is a kind of strong bold streamlined uncompromising look so i can see how one might call the authority particularly jock you just googled it you can't just read the i'm not googling anything i'm not even giving the i'm

not saying the definition okay close your close your eyes close your eyes and tell you what can you let me say what i'm trying to say for two seconds oh god um i'm saying that the look is so intense it has an authoritarian tone to it the like it just so strict. She looks like a leader, but like a drill sergeant or like a torturer. Ask me the question again, Ben, please. Do you guys want to know something? If you cannot Google the

answer, I'm curious. I'm not Googling anything. There's nothing in front of me. What do you think fascism is? A system in place that oppresses people okay period i have i have something to say or i think you guys would find i think you guys would find this very fun okay okay um do you know you've both no doubt heard of a jacuzzi before right yes yes okay um i something came to light in to me uh recently and it was the inventor the inventor of the jacuzzi and i'm not joking when i

when i say this oh i know this story wait wait let me know okay yeah tell jock the jacuzzi was invented by seven italian brothers who each invented the jacuzzi together and their last name is jacuzzi it sounds italian when you say that their names are so funny okay here are their names yeah giocondo jacuzzi candido jacuzzi galindo jacuzzi valeriano jacuzzi giuseppe jacuzzi francesco jacuzzi and the last one rachel rachel jacuzzi it's a man named rachel jacuzzi yes it's a man named Rachel Jacuzzi yes it's a man named Rachel Jacuzzi that's such a like no wave name

like Lydia Lunch or like Richard Hell or whatever literally it's like a member of it's like a member of Throbbing Gristle literally that's also the name of the jacuzzi where um that's the racial jacuzzi you know the racial jacuzzi that's what they were that's what they were really that's what those you know those jobs are really trying to make a race yeah the democratic party is trying to turn

america into a racial jacuzzi that is true. We need to put a stop to it. We all agree that... Instead of a melting pot, it's the racial jacuzzi. The inventors of the jacuzzi were seven of the horniest brothers, Rachel being the horniest. If you're inventing a jacuzzi, you're inventing

it so you could boil people's bodies soft before sex. And it was invented in 1918. Because everyone's either having sex in a jacuzzi or having sex right after they use a jacuzzi. Sure. Yeah.

Well, speaking of inventors, speaking of gross, freaky things people are doing with their bodies, Jock alluded to this earlier, but who else but Brian Johnson was on our favorite show club random with bill maher um did y'all like that i watched that and i was like oh so yeah we definitely watched it because i loved it we love both of them um but i figured it was it'd be worth pulling some clips to share with you guys because it was an hour and 50 minutes

pretty funny interview overall I think it was longer than that I think it was an hour and 30 minutes I said an hour and 50 and then you said it's longer yeah I think you said an hour and 15 okay I have but either way Jock thank you

for trying to correct me i do appreciate it um this is let's just take it right from the top okay can i can i say one thing really quickly first about her um i was about who about brian johnson because the pictures that i've seen of him i've never seen any videos of him but the pictures i've seen of him don't make him look normal they make him look like a lizard person that's covered in yellow. He brings it up in the opening. That's exactly it. But he looks so normal now.

He's slaying. He's kind of slaying. Yeah, honestly, I was like, wow, the guy kind of looks pretty good. He does. Honestly, I'm going to be real. He looks good. He does not look bad in this

video he doesn't i was listening and then he starts getting into the hour and a half to two hours we can watch it we can watch it let's watch it let's watch it we can get there um just for audio sake jock if you want to interject just put your little finger up and does that sound good to you? Do you understand? Yeah. Okay. Amazing. Let's start. How are you?

I'm great. I've been reading a lot. Nice to see you. That's what I hear. I've been reading a lot about you. You all right? I'm great. You look a little tired. Are you okay?

Are you okay? Are you coming down with something? Yeah, I think I'm all right. I will say that's a very funny thing to say to Brian. It's so funny. Are you coming down with something freaks that's gonna freak him out so bad like it's like it's so mean when some like when someone's like oh you're looking a little tired that will like crater the average person's ego but to brian i feel like he wants to kill himself on the inside. Someone's like, no, I mean, it is an onslaught. The opening like introduction is Bill Maher doing like, like laser targeted, like accidentally just destroying Brian Johnson's ego with every single line. So funny. Let's get back to it.

You are? Yeah. Okay, good. Can I get you a drink? There's quite a few things I have. You want tequila? You know, your team made me a ginger and lemon tea, which is delicious. What about tequila? It looks great. You want to live forever?

It looks great on display. Oh, wait. You are the guy who does want to live forever. I'm sorry. That's the pot. What will you be drinking? Tequila. I don't want to. Oh, wait. You are the guy who does want to live forever. I'm sorry. That's the pot. What will you be drinking? That's the pot. I don't want to. Well, I'd love to, but not at the price of, well, let's get into that. Because that's the year 47.

You look 19. I mean, not a human 19, but 19. Okay. All right. Okay. Period. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely.

Did we consider smoking pot after I realized that Bill Maher was a pothead? Oh, yeah. I just realized that. And he always calls it pot. He calls it pot instead of weed, which is such an old man thing to do.

It's like one step it's one step like i it's it's similar to grass but it's less funny than grass for grass is cool saying pot is like how a cop ask to get weed before he arrests you i just yeah i hate the the phonetics of it are like um obese to me that's like gross yes it makes you picture a giant pot yeah i don't like that there's a giant pot with arms and ellen ring in the video game and that makes me think of that like for sure for sure i would also imagine that um but it's funny because like i do find myself agreeing with bill for the majority of this interview because oh me too i'm like yeah i'm going to drink and i'm fine with that killing me five years earlier well who the fuck wants to be alive well like yeah 79 to 84 i don't care i'd

rather be drunk most of my life the thing is like brian's argument that he makes is that like what if you die and they discover like immortality like one day later and he is like yeah but he it's so like his argument is so stupid for it because it's like he's like we don't know when they're gonna discover it so like i know and he says the way that he says it is he says it could be in five years it could be in 10 years and it's like girl i don't then why are you trying to live forever like well it's like dude people have jobs like yeah no one cares about any of this shit i mean like it really is the purview of like the most self-indulgent billionaire to like have this lifestyle and profess this kind of like ideology as he calls it don't die as an ideology but it's just like i don't know i can't imagine a single normal person caring about yeah he says um it's the only ideology that's based on physics and memes.

And he says those are the most important things in the world. That's the selling point? Can I bring up one interesting thing? I was pretty shocked that this Brian Johnson fellow said that you could afford to do what he's doing. Which I doubt it. There's just got to be no way that's ten thousand dollars exactly you uh ten thousand dollars a year you can because he's just eating seeds he's not talking about any of the equipment he's not talking about any of the workout routines he's talking about the diet and his diet is like carrot protein powder flaxseed black lentils it's also if you

can buy in bulk yeah i can you can eat like brian for ten thousand dollars a year i have no doubt about that do you have the same access to medical equipment you have the same access to scanning etc etc etc all the other things he does no of course not and also can you afford to eat like this if you are working a full-time job no but yeah the food is the food itself is i'm sure very cheap because again it's all stuff you can buy in bulk it's literally bird food it's like insane yeah it's like you're eating bird seed macadamia nuts he says like so funny um there's a really funny part where bill um sparks up a joint in front of him and you could see brian just like totally recoil and fear is like

this is how i ask people smoke with smoke and he's like no it's it's fine i'm not i'm cool i'm not gonna call my mom ask her to come pick me up like yeah let's watch it let's watch i think i got it here about yes yeah yeah revealing what happened behind the scenes yes all the maneuvering and the cover-up i think his quote was they were screaming at us or calling up and screaming at us to take off stuff that was provably true. Yeah.

That's I need a drink. I need a drink. Can I softly try to persuade you to not do that? Is that alcohol? That's sparkling water.

But this is alcohol. Yeah, that's fucking alcohol. Can I softly try to persuade you to... Oh, Brian, I'm 69. I'm not wearing my glasses, but is Bill drinking tequila mixed with sparkling water? Yeah, but it was literally is bill drinking tequila tequila mixed with sparkling water um

yeah but it was it was literally like three shots of tequila with the splash of sparkling water which i'm like my man knows how to drink that is yeah one of my favorite drinks right there and then he put he has a a tincture bottle in his hand i don't know what he's putting in there but i'm like hell yeah it's fucking hell'm like hell yeah Bill it's bitters it's bitters it could be bitters but Bill is also a tincture guy he keeps putting in like adaptogens

or something I don't think people mix adaptogens with their tequila they 1000% do I could see that bottle from a thousand miles away and it's fucking Angostura. Yeah, I totally I'm on Jacques' side here because I think

that Bill probably gets heartburn from those tequilas so he's adding the bitters to counteract it. The Angosturas are not a dropper. They have a yellow cap and they have a nipple on the top of the bottle. You freaky deaky weirdo. I think you're wrong, but it doesn't matter.

It's okay. I've been a bartender more than you. You are a dishwasher, but let's continue. Let's continue with the video. I've had more jobs than you. Dishwasher. I've had more jobs than you. That's because I'm not constantly fired from them, bitch.

Having more jobs than someone is not whatever. I don't give a fuck. I've never been fired. Who cares? I'm aware. I'm making a adult choice.

Real quick. Bill saying there used to be a skull and crossbones on the bottle of alcohol makes me feel like he grew up in like 1801 or something. I know. That's not true.

There are so many lines in this where it's like... He was born in like 1959 or something if I'm doing the math right. He's 69. That's not even that old. I like when he's trying to profess how know he was raised that's not even that old well i do like i like when he's trying to profess how old he is at one point in this segment and he points to a

collage behind him and he's like you see i cut this out of a bunch of magazines when they only had black and white pictures yeah that's how old i am i'm like and it's like that's not true i mean he definitely was he was raised with black and white media, I feel like. I had to. Yeah. I mean, but not all magazines. I mean, maybe. I don't know.

I actually don't know what I'm talking about. In the 60s? Yeah. I think in the 60s it was mostly black and white. I could be wrong. I just hate him. And yeah, we want things to be wrong. For sure.

I Googled. Believe me, I know what that's like. I Googled Bill Maher sexy on Google Images and it said results can't be found nice burn no I'm kidding the picture that came up of him shirtless is an abomination to all things

ew do people have sex with him? there's no way that he's like a viable yeah actually I was hanging out with, well, I, let's say this weekend I met someone who used to date Bill and that's all I'll say. But it was shocking. He does fuck.

He fucks a lot. Oh my god. He's got the most awful like sloth eyes. There's something so awful about his tiny spread apart eyes. Like tiny potato eyes. What about his nose, Jock?

What do you think about that? Interesting tiny potato eyes. I've never heard that. I love big noses, but his nose is kind of freaky on his face. I'll say that. It's a little bit like UFC fighter nose.

It looks like it's melting off. Let's a little bit like UFC. Looks like it's melting off. Yeah. Let's continue with the video here. He looks like he might be a part of a certain group with that big of a nose. He's Jewish. No, I was not going to say Jewish. You were going to say big sniffers. A guy who likes to sniff a lot.

Probably sniffs women's panties. He is Jewish. There's no chance that that's what you meant, Jock. That is exactly what I meant. You said he has a big nose and he must belong to a certain group and you meant men who smell underwear?

Big sniffers? You didn't mean Jews. I did not mean Jews. I'm telling you right now. Jock's like, I'll take a polygraph test jews i did not think jews snippers i'm telling you right now when i jocks like jocks like hansen i know you live in new york i'll take a polygraph test okay okay fine fine okay whatever let's just the cheap the cheap way would have said if i would have been it would have been cheap of me to just say jews it it's about me saying that he has a fetish for sniffing panties and feet

and armpit of women because he's straight, but he has a big nose, so he includes his sex. And that is a group, in your defense, that is a group that you I'm part of a group of big sniffers, but it's not just big-nosed people. It's just people interested in the sniffing, but it's not fat people

also, and you don't have to have a big nose or be fat. This is like listening to a second grader describe his day. I have to pee. Okay, bye. Let's continue here. Life is all trade-offs, right?

This is my trade-off. You go to bed at 8.30? I'd rather be dead. Period. Period. Everyone's laughing at you. No,

he's pulling it out. He's pulling out the joint. Oh, awkward. I know. Everyone's laughing. Everyone's laughing at you.

Cause you can tell, you can tell Brian is so scared cause Bill just pulled out a joint and brian is like oh my god he's trying to calculate the calories of uh second hand smoke no you're not what are you you're gonna what is that have you never seen this show uh yeah but i didn't realize with me What do you have in there called up? It's Heron and fentanyl No it's fucking pot

You're not going to die from being in the room with it Okay I'll try to Like real quick first of all Brian Johnson Already cooler than Steve-O At this point

because he's like you can go ahead Bill and smoke weed in front of me and I'm not gonna where Steve-O was like if I come on the pod you can't smoke weed or else I'm gonna relapse I'm gonna become like a maniac again yeah

Bill didn't smoke in front of him on that episode no Steve-O never came on. Because Bill was like, no. Of course. Wow, what an asshole. Yeah, I mean, if you're in recovery, more power to you. But it's Bill Maher smoking a joint.

It's like... I'm on Steve-O's side. What Steve-O... Turn down your mic a little bit i think you're coming through super hot um change steve oh just steve oh went i don't know maybe you're just screaming into the mic um steve i think steve oh the but like watching podcast steve oh is on i'm like he's annoying as fuck he does not well he's brain dead yeah he's like so dead serious on every single podcast even him on like come town around the adam freeland show because he's gone he's he's he's for that's the

problem with those jackass people is that they're going to be stuck for the rest of their fucking life trying to prove that they're serious when there's like 500 hours plus of like... Johnny Knoxville got a pretty little movie career out of it. He's doing well. A pretty little movie career? Didn't he play a retarded guy? No, he played a guy who pretends to be a retarded guy. He pretended to be retarded.

I mean, potato patato, but... That's even worse, honestly. I'm like, a good movie career? What else has he done? He's made, I'm sure, a lot of money off of us. He's made some crazy movies. But none of his movies prove that he's a more serious person. Oh, they definitely do.

There's definitely at least one that I'm forgetting. I'm looking it up. Hang on, hang on. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. He was doing, like, rom-coms and stuff. I don't know. No, there's a really crazy one.

There's a really a really crazy one there's a really you google johnny knoxville and in and we're talking about the movies and shows he's been forever i'm going to produce what it says jackass i'm sure he has producing credits on so much stuff forever jackass presents bad grandpa jackass number two jackass 3d i mean okay i swear to god he did a serious thing i swear to god i'm trying to admit in black too was so damn serious um yeah it was so why are you why are you so hateful towards the jackass guys i'm not hateful towards them i can hear the hate in your voice i i'm jealous and okay it's jealous and i was very because you because jackass stuff happens to you all the time and you don't have a career yeah i've been hit by seven cars and i don't even get to be pretending to be retarded in movies so

why does johnny knoxville get to do it for perspective perspective, I was able to watch all... Is that your take? I was able to watch all of Sopranos with my parents at my side, but the only show, the only piece of media that my parents forbid me from watching or told me I was not allowed, and even if I did watch it, they...

Jackass. Well, that makes sense. It's too much of a danger. If you were my child, I would not want to show you jackass because you would have died Coyote Ugly is about the most serious movie this guy has been in let's look at the cast

of Coyote Ugly because there's some really funny people in it in the background um obviously playing yourself um is the dad John something? John Goodman is the dad. John Goodman is the dad.

We've got Melanie Linsky being Gloria. Oh, Dee from Always Sunny has one line. Tyra Banks, duh. Oh, wow. Before she was famous. Johnny Knoxville seems like he's cutting up some A-listers for real oh my god Michael Weston um

yeah stupid ass fucking Michael Bay is in it is a photographer which is so funny but also Dee is in it before she was famous like keep that in mind that's isn't that fun that's a fun love. I love Dee.

She's having an incredible year between High Potential and The Myth. She's really expanded her television presence. Tour de Force. Oh my god! They've got Jill Jeltsinson as one of the people in the background of this movie.

Jill Jeltsin is incredible. I believe she's in Rush Hour as well. Probably. Let's get back to Brian here. There's one part here where he does talk about his erections that I think will be very funny. Because Bill

does a lot of dick jokes and Bill always makes jokes about how big his dick is and it was funny to try to see him not mention that. Maybe he did a little bit. He said, I'm going to beat you. He's like, I'm going to beat your record.

Direction record. Oh, I remember this. He said, they made some aside about Brian taking out his dick so he could measure it and bill was like um i'll take out just enough of mine to beat yours which is like we like that's actually hysterical i just i don't want to imagine that is pretty good honestly penis no it's hilarious but i'm like oh the image is is rough yeah yeah yeah i mean i've always said

i've always said big nose, big dick, and pretty nose, pretty dick. There's a dick to nose correlation that if you put that on Bill's schnoz, he's probably... I'm looking up a Googled picture of his underwear. It points straight down.

Yes. Unless Bill Mayer wears underwear that is two times under his actual size, there's no way there's a big dick in there. Objectively. Let's watch the clip here.

And smoke and snip glue and occasionally Jake Fenton with ketamine. Oh wait, this is great. Ketamine was shown to slow the speed of aging. That was one of the... Not the way some of these bitches are looking out here. Yeah. Ketamine was shown to slow the speed of aging. So is heroin. Not the way some of these bitches are looking out here. Yeah.

It slows the speed of dancing. For sure. You know, Bill, ketamine actually increases the chances of being transgender. Yeah. That's why I do it every day. Heroin does?

Oh my god. Do you ever know a heroin addict? they look fantastic until they die that is the least true thing that Bill Maher has ever said is that a heroin addict looks fantastic until they die

I'm literally googling heroin addict I mean like what like Keith Richards looks good like Lou Reed you looked great when you did that what's his name Heath the guy that the bad man

his name is Heath Ledger you don't need to keep googling he wasn't on heroin you're thinking of River Phoenix who died when he was 22 the dark knight joker but I have a point to make if i can talk he was not on heroin second are you sure yeah go ahead he yeah um i believe

heath ledger died of a pill overdose as well jock yeah um but either way opioids and opioid anyways what i what i mean to say is i think bill is bill is someone who he's trying to say that heroin addicts have can look cool you know but they certainly don't look healthy um no and i think bill is trying to he's just trying to say that there was something called heroin chic in the 90s i think he's like they look great until they die which is not really true the least true thing of all time. It's like, yeah. Yeah, no, they don't. I wouldn't say they look great. But yeah, I mean, some of them can look very cool.

He just thinks they look skinny. That's indisputable. He thinks they look skinny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They look great to him, which I think makes sense, I guess. Let's keep watching. I've never seen data. It kind of preserves you.

I've never seen data on Arrow. I've never seen data. I've never seen data. I've never seen the data on air. And the way they talk about data in this episode is so funny because they're like, at one point they say, the government's job is to give us the data, which I don't think is the job of the government, technically.

I think another thing they say is that, hang on, let me scroll through my notes here data is everything bill says at one point they're just won't shut up about data it's just i can't i yeah when people start talking like that i just like completely tune them out um at one point oh at one point i'm looking at my notes here um uh brian johnson says uh i think a little bit after this he says my dick is uh i biologically my dick is younger than that of an 18 year old which makes me think that like if you have sex with him are you a pedophile because you're having sex with a 19-year-old dick. Yeah, you heard, no, the dick is not legal. Yeah, under 18.

Are you, is it illegal? We need to see how the courts would decide here. Someone's got to fuck Brian and... I'll do it. Yeah, you can do it. If you had to have sex with either Brian or Bill... Jock, you can stop Googling pictures of Bill Marsh, Jock. I'm not Googling

anything. If you had to have sex with either Brian or Bill. Jock, you can stop Googling pictures of Bill Morris junk. I'm not Googling anything. If you had to have sex with either Brian or Bill here, who are you picking? Brian. Here as in like in the podcast? You can't be like oh, young Bill or young Brian.

I'm going to have sex with Brian Johnson versus Bill Mayer each time. Can you tell me why? I'm sure his hole is tight. I don't know. It just seems like something a healthy person would have a tight hole.

Yeah. Is that the craziest thing? No, it's totally fair. It's not that a tight asshole is exactly what I look for, but I mean, it could be good at times. You're not looking for it, but if you found one, you wouldn't be disappointed.

I'm sure Brian's hole is incredibly... It's probably the age of a seven-year-old. I would shut the fuck... You disgusting... Actually, Bill, my asshole is seven years old. I would rather have sex with a

tight hole than a loose hole. Wow. If we had to. And also, I just don't think I could look Bill Maher in the eyes having sex. Yeah, it'd be rough. It'd be rough to look into either of these faces, I'll be honest. I have had sex for money several times, and

if I had to look into these sloth eyes... Bill would be so annoying during sex, too. Can you imagine? You know he has disgusting hot breath. He would be making jokes the whole time

like bad jokes like yeah oh sorry i feel like i mean but brian my god that seems like it'd be traumatic i feel like he's probably adopted and his parents gave him up because they were trying to have a well his parents should have given him up because he looked weird. And then if they had tried one more time, they could have had a David Duchovny. He's like one DNA mistake away from being David Duchovny. But his eyes are just, I mean, they're like sloth, but they're far apart. You can't say anything about him except for his sloth eyes. His eyes are the worst part about him.

Let's keep watching. It was one of the highlights that it actually had data showing it slowed the speed of aging. All right. Well, Brian, don't take this the wrong way, but I'm very interested in your erections. I've read a lot about your erection.

I'm flattered. And I really don't think that should happen. But no, it's funny. One time, I used to smoke for 20 years, which was the stupidest thing I ever did, talking about how stupid you were back in the 20s. Okay, pause. Yeah.

Smoking for 20 years is the stupidest thing bill maher has ever done i kind of doubt it i'm sure the collective i seriously doubt it i'm like sure the collective of his islam phobia is probably the top tier like one of the worst things he's done uh before yeah he is he is he's very islam phobic oh, the worst thing I've ever done in a lifetime is smoke cigarettes that only hurt me. Get a grip you selfish shithead. I wish I had the confidence that Bill Maher

has to just be as consistently wrong as he is but to believe he is the sole truth teller in the world. The way that they both talk it's so unbelievable. Yes, yes, yes.

It's two dumb bitches telling each other exactly. But it's this unbridled overconfidence that Bill Maher has with this kind of sheepish assurance of data and numbers and tech that Brian Johnson has. It is the most kind of annoying um

confluence of of self-assuredness oh yeah and brian johnson is as um is as confident like as bill maher i truly believe maybe even more so because the way that he um well brian doesn't need pot he's like uh at one point he says like there's only been truly one ideology ever in history and every ideology has been the same which is why i'm doing a new ideology and the new ideology is don't die and that's a return to the oldest ideology and it's the only ideology backed by physics which is the negation of entropy and it's like shut the fuck up shut the fuck up no it gets like really cult leader a certain question where i was kind of like taken away but but of course like he is an evangelizing freako he's a mormon you know like he's yeah it's so it's so obvious when you find out that he's a mormon that it's like oh this

is like the same kind of he's a medical mormon yes medical mormon it's the same not drinking not smoking not doing anything bad but like always starting these insane businesses and evangelizing them um well there's a huge there's a huge emphasis on on on being healthy in the mormon community to the point of like and like trying to achieve perfectness and godliness that like totally makes i i was actually and i was like oh that makes makes 100% sense that he's Mormon. And then Bill Maher's like, you believe in a six-foot-two god named Korah. And he's like, that's a very good Bill. Yeah.

Well, he's not Mormon anymore. He says he escaped. Yeah, he's not Mormon anymore. But he is. Like, he really is, like, on his, like, he says. Functionally, yes, he's very Mormon. I don't think you ever in the interview he says um you know because bill maher says he was raised catholic

um and then he says um if you're catholic five trillion of your cells are catholic but if you're mormon every single one of your cells is morm funny. Yes. I remember that. Autistic as fuck. And it's like, yeah, that's true. Like you are still Mormon and you, it seems to be recognized that without recognizing it. Right.

Absolutely. I'm going to live forever. Like, because I am so healthy. That's so true. That's like, he is trying because Mormons do believe that they become gods of their own planet.

He's like, I'm just going to do that shit here. No, that's so true. That's so true. Let's keep watching. And I went to the dentist once. It was brilliant. I only went away as a real asshole. But he scared me.

He was saying, you know, when you smoke, you're going to get cancer in your gums. And you know that it affects your penis, the blood flow to your penis. I quit the next day. I went back. It's like it took that shot. What? Threw it right in the gut. That's why I talk about erections.

Okay, period. Period. Me. I can't imagine going to a bar and you see a group of people smoking cigarettes and you walk up to them and you go that's why I talk about erections Brian absolutely would tell them that it will impair their erection

and they're like hey man what's your problem you want to fight he would probably be a good fighter I don't think so Brian I don't think so I don't know I feel like he's got some kind of chameleon fighting technique lizard fighting

technique okay I feel like that's true yeah you know what I oh here we got a commercial a peacock original the audio of this commercial ready I'm gonna do it no no no we're not doing the turn listeners where the flames are falling

not me but that guy should retire we're all fans of talmadge and i was waiting to hear about talmadge and it comes up in this clip in in quite a funny way. Let's kick it back off here because... No, it's 420. This is a good... What? What's 420? Oh, it's 420. Spark one up.

Spark one up. Spark one up. Here we go. You're going to spark one up, Josh? You're going to spark one up, Josh? I don't have anything near me. No, I didn't freeze it. Wait, so this is the first time you're ever recording without a blowtorch next to you.

Mm-hmm. What are you doing, Josh? It's just cold. All right, hit it. It's a drink, and I honestly,

no, I'm serious. Yeah. I think it's a beautiful expression that you love to exist. Yeah. You want all the experiences that consciousness has to offer you. I wouldn't. If I was born 5,000 years ago, I would be a Buddhist.

I get why it's so men. Because life sucked. So let's not feel anything. But that's not the case now. Life's good. There's porn on my phone. There's porn on my phone? Yeah, this is a good example of what

the entire episode is like for everyone listening i just want to say also this the the oldest person in the world being like they finally put pornography on the cellular phone it's like what year is this for you what do you mean? For him. I mean, he's just like, you know, we live in the future where they have pornography on your cell phone now. Did you know that? What do you think pornography is going to be like when we're 70, Jock?

We're restricted to the point of a... I feel like we're going to the... Right now, we're in the era where it's the most extreme form of pornography and it's the most prevalent form of pornography and then from here on out what's the most prevalent yeah when we're 70 pornography will be like um you're uh chained to a wall in peter teal's basement and you you can get rented out and someone will have to pay Peter Thiel to like see you naked so when we're 70

pornography will be getting raped in Peter Thiel's dungeon when we're 70 we'll all be dead and there will be like 6,000 people left on the planet like a lot of them will be

peter teal's sex slaves and they will be forced into pornography that's what it will be like that's my prediction so you might want to rejoin quickly i don't i feel like we we have like i'm sure that the future wicked could become anti-sexual and i i just there's just there's this pornography movie from the 1970s called roller babies in the future sexual intercourse is outlawed because of overpopulation and people take anti-aphrodisiac pills in order to curtail any carnal urges the only form of coitus allowed is done by licensed performers on live television broadcasts as an aid to masturbation shrewd but down in his left television executive sherman frobish the man responsible for

the naughty top-rated tv program comes up with the bright idea of live TV sex show contest in which participates... What are you reading, Scott? ...around on roller skates in order to salvage his floundering career. That's what I think the sex is, the future of sex. Oh, that's amazing. Thank you.

It's a movie called Roller Babies. It's a pornography... Oh, I've seen Roller Babies. They have to have sex on roller skates. It's a very difficult task, but it's a pornography oh i've seen 76 they have they have to have sex on roller skates it's a very difficult task but it's doable wow okay period no they don't have to have sex on it's a sports no it is not you're using rollerball you fucking idiot bitch stop screaming stop being why are you being so rude it? Do not call Hessa a fucking idiot bitch. That's not nice. Sorry, Hessa. Please stop talking to us that way. Let's keep watching.

I've been all burned up. I want to sit here and keep smoking and talking. And having a good time. I mean, not three-hour erections. Not that good, but, you know. I mean... Oh, yeah, they can... Brian, of course,

has a monitor on the tip of his penis which measures his erections overnight, and he says that he has three to four hour erections every single night. Yeah, and here's the thing. His... Bill misses a huge opportunity at a joke here.

Yeah. Which happens several times. Brian says, my erections are the length of Titanic. And to which Bill, obviously Brian meant like they're three hours long, but Bill could have said, oh, what, they're 2,000

feet long? Like, you know, like the length of the boat. That would have been a great opportunity for a joke. That would have been a great joke. I'm laughing at the idea of an entire podcast. We should start a sister podcast where we just

insert better jokes in Club Rando. Yes! No, that would be so good. There's another one from earlier in the podcast i didn't even make a joke about it but earlier in this in the club random there's another missed opportunity joke that got me mad well you know there's that you know the you know the the hawk to a podcast yeah talk to uh there's a oh yeah there's talking Talk Tua. Talking Talk Tua. And then there's Talking Talking Talk Tua.

I hate that so much. I listened to one of those. Well, I didn't put it on. A friend of the show, Meg, put it on when we were driving recently and she loved it. You're weird. Talk Tua? Talking Talk Tua. I put headphones

in my ears and started watching TikToks like this is actually true or true I think I've said Hawk Tua out loud with my roommate too many times to where I get advertised did she kill herself? I don't no

Hawk Tua she did that crypto scam and hasn't she been missing since? Yeah, she genuinely might have. She's so cool. I hope she gets away with this.

I don't care if some... People's lives are probably ruined because of a Huck coin or whatever. But I'm like, bro, why are you investing in this? I don't know. All this shit needs to be shut down. I don't know how it works, but it feels demonic and rotten

and so scammy to me. The Melania coin, the Trump coin. It's just, how is this our economy? And again, I don't understand how any of it works. It just makes me feel old and scared. According to the most relevant news source, Yahoo News, And again, I don't understand how any of it works. It just makes me feel old and scared. And I don't like it.

According to the most relevant news source, Yahoo News, Hawk to a Girl, Hayley Welch, has disappeared from public view after the crypto rug pull. And I don't see any new posts. I mean, I would be in hiding too if everyone thought I was a scammer. Wasn't it like some guys? Well, she is. She literally is.

Wasn't she set up by a scammer? Wasn't the person who convinced her to do this a scammer it wasn't it like some guys well she is it's not it's not she literally set up by like a scam like wasn't like the person who convinced her to do this a scammer she lent she lent their likeness she lent her likeness to a scamming um crypto company and she also advertised for it i mean it's it's her fault like don't lend people your image if you don't trust what they're going to do with it it's okay i don't believe in her so let me just say that what do image if you don't trust what they're going to do with it. Okay, Josh. I don't believe in her, so let me just say that. What do you mean you don't believe in her? I mean, I'm not supporting her. Okay.

Yes, Hessa, please. Okay. Okay. So, Roller Babies is a porn parody, a 70s porn parody of a movie from a movie called Solar Babies. Wait, no, hang on. Roller Babies

came first. Yeah, I'm telling you that Roller Babies is his own movie. I was thinking of Solar Babies. I thought you were confusing. This is a pornography that someone did a real movie based on? No, no, no.

It's a real movie that is also pornography. Well, the real movie there was Rollerball and then after Rollerball came Rollerbabies. There's a pornography spoof. And then Solar Babies came 10 years after that and Solar Babies is produced by Mel Brooks,

but it's a serious movie. Okay. So it looks like we're all right. And there is no reason to curse at each other and get mad or raise our voices. Yeah. This could be a lesson to us. This could be a lesson to us.

Let's all just hog to a right back onto Brian JJ and my boy build me more. Yeah. I think that the oh my god, the music of Solar Babies is by Maurice Jarre. Okay. I think he starts talking about his

son and having sex with him at like 1.17. Okay. Like 1.17.30 is what I have. Yeah, we do these trips. He's talking about what he and

Talmadge do to hang out. And as we all know, Talmadge is Brian's son, who Brian harvests the blood of and constantly compares his erections to and so forth. I have one thing on that later that I want to bring up. Let's hear what they have to say here.

Come over here for basketball. Yeah, great. Yeah. We were very active. Right. Yeah. That must be joyous for you to have your offspring. And, of course, when you go out, the chicks go,

you guys must be brothers. Funny you should mention that. Yes, they do. They do. I promise. Also, they say, how long have you guys been together? Oh, because they think you're gay?

Yeah, and we say, just like six months. No, you should say 19 years. Okay. That's it. Yeah. Yeah. Why would you say six months?

Why would you pretend to be gay with your dad? I don't know. It's so weird to not do what Bill said in joke and be like, oh, 19 years, he's my son. Why would you pretend? Why would you pretend that you're dating your son I know it's so weird it is so weird but I mean maybe

it's because like Brian would rather I don't know be gay with his son rather be gay than his son than be a father which dates him you know I think if I was Brian I would be like it would be fun to be like I'm actually

so old and I look this you know I would get off on that if I was Brian I feel like no literally instead he's getting off on being like I've been dating my son for six months it's so funny it's so funny it's so gross

but he says more funny stuff I think right after this okay let's keep going It's so funny. Yeah. It's so funny. It's so gross. But... He says more funny stuff, I think, right after this. Okay, let's keep going. Let them figure it out. It is... Yeah. The people...

We get the gay thing so frequently. So it sounds like you're in bars a lot. Where do you meet these women who are confused? He's such a cool guy. We do. We get along so well. We have so much time together. We've never been in a fight in our entire lives.

It sounds like an old gay daddy literally talking about his Guatemalan sugar baby. Yeah, he's such a cool guy. We never get in fights. He's such a cool guy. We've never gotten into a fight in our entire lives, which sounds like... Yeah,

Bill calls him on that too. I also love... A father saying about his son in that he's... I love when Brian's like, you know, we let them figure out for themselves. Which is very strange.

When we start making out, they can tell from how we kiss that we're father and son what do you mean we let them figure it out for themselves like one of us touches their touches their boob I'm calling CPS on anyone

let's have sex in my hyperbaric chamber you know like I would love to have sex in my hyperbaric chamber I have one in my house I haven't used it though because I don't want to get it. You have a hyperbaric chamber in your home? Yes, my landlord said,

can you reorganize the guest bedroom because I'm bringing a hyperbaric chamber home. I want to use it. Yeah, me too. That's the one thing I took away from this is that I kind of want to get Ivor Baric chain. His parents had it. I think his parents are in the medical field

and they gave it to him. I don't know if it would really help with my current health problems, but I just don't even want to get... Worth a shot. Well, I don't want to get in there and it... I just don't want to get in there and it i it i just don't want to get in there you're afraid i don't want to seal myself up in a tube i've done it before when i was like maybe

18 or 19 i i knew a like a rich family that i did drugs with and they had a hyperbolic chamber not a hyperbolic hyperbolic is what you call this damn podcast what about a hyperbolic time chamber Jacques like in Dragon Ball Z oh that's what I'm probably confusing where'd you get into one of those

where a single hour feels like two years? Hell no. Yes, exactly. That's scary to me. I don't want to go to a place where time slows down. I want to go to a place where time speeds up. That does sound scary.

Where time speeds up. You go there for one hour. You go there for one hour. You go there for one minute and you leave and you are 10 years older. Yeah. It's unfair to me. It sounds absolutely miserable.

Well, guys, that's about all the interview that I had worth playing. It's not very... I couldn't even finish it, honestly. What did you say... I mean, it is. I couldn't even finish it, honestly. What did you say? I couldn't even finish it, honestly.

Yeah, it was pretty bad. But worth watching. Anyways, to everyone out there, you can find bonus episodes on our Patreon, patreon.com slash Seeking Derangement. And we will be back later this week. Thank you for listening and go subscribe.

Bye everyone. One more thing about the interview is that at one point, Bill Maher says that if the LA fires got to his house, he would have climbed on his roof with a garden hose and kept. Oh yeah. Yeah. So let's all say a little prayer. Oh man.

It would be so funny if he died that way. Can I make a little announcement? Yes. Two Fat Pigs present Game Show Pig, hosted by Jacques Gonsolin and Grace Freud. February 12th at Lodge Room. Featuring special guests Brandon Wardell,

Will Sinnott, Nate Fisher, April Clark, Jeff Rosenstock, Chris Farren, and hold on, because... Jeff Rosenstock? Yeah, what's wrong with that? You don't like music? No, that's a big get.

You don't like music that much or something? No, that's a big get. I'm just... Yeah, I actually don't personally know him, but it's, he's a friend of Grace's. So, um, she invited him and I think he's going to be hysterical. Okay. But also the last name I wanted to mention is Helena Riley.

She's hysterical. She's also going to be a part of our production show. Um, so you look out y'all get, there's tickets. I'm going to put a part of our production show so you look out there's tickets I'm going to put the tickets in my linker on the that sounds amazing everyone in LA should go Jock if you want this included in the show

description you will have to send me a link I'm sending it right now okay y'all sweet dreams when is it what date February 12th at Lodrum. Do you have a venue? Lodrum. Amazing.

Go get there, everyone. We love you. Talk to you soon. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Un indio quiere llorar, pero si aguanta las ganas, se enamoró en la ciudad, se enamoró de una dama.

Besas de la sociedad Que tiene hielo en el alma Un indio ronda por ahí Por la mansión de esa ingrata Por la mansión de esa ingrata Queriéndole platicar Las penas que a él lo mata Cuando lo llega a encontrar Ella lo insulta y rechaza Un indio quiere llorar