Seeking Derangements - SD 389 - Doll Madness Pt. 2

Episode Date: March 5, 2025

Greetings Seekers! Full Video on Patreon Ben here, today Jacques Hesse and I are back with a special video episode. We discuss Luigi Mangione's alleged Cinema Style Sex Videos, Emilia Perez greening out at the damn oscars, and recap our Mardi Gras. Plus Jacques and I get into a fight over the voodoo doll he made of me. We'll be back later this week!

🎵 Okay, let's freaking go. Yummers. Hello, everyone. Welcome to Seeking Derangements. It's Ben. I'm here with Jock. Hi, I'm Jock. If you're hearing this on the free feed,

we're doing a video episode today. The video is available on our Patreon, patreon.com slash thinking derangements. And the audio will probably be free. If you don't recognize this beautiful blonde bombshell of a supermodel in front of us, that's none other than Hessa. Oh yeah.

Hessa Denny. It's the first episode I've done with my newly dyed hair. We love. Fabulous. Wonderful. We love Daryl Hannah. We love Debbie Harry. We love. Love Cameron Diaz. we love fabulous wonderful we love daryl hannah we love debbie harry we love love cameron diaz ed said dwick okay no offense to you hessa but i i think that you embody a lot of women

i don't think you embody cameron diaz i have to take it back why not okay no i accept that i'm not i'm not from the islands i'm not from barbados much more of a lucy lou or drew barrymore when we're talking okay lucy lou interesting there goes an earring jock just dropped an earring well you can see i don't even have to describe it to you because you're seeing it happen yeah exactly yeah what's happening here is that ben has been forgiven by god where i still have not been forgiven by God. You're in hellfire, as we can see. There's a hell.

There's a lot of fire behind Jock right now. Well, yes, as you can tell, it is Ash Wednesday, and I am celebrating, especially after Mardi Gras. Ash Wednesday is an incredibly important day. I didn't even notice you had your ashes. Yeah, that's why I was saying he's saved and I'm not. I went to church this morning

and I'll be saved, unlike you two whores. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Well, God and I have an understanding. What is that? Yeah, what fucking understanding is that? That you're going to hell?

I just think that's such a funny thing to say God and I have an understanding whatever kind of understanding God and you have I don't want anything it's like one of the most American things you can say she's literally just like Calvinism or whatever having a direct line to God

God and I have an understanding I mean you might as well say me and my accountant have an understanding. Before we get further into Ash Wednesday though, I do want to thank everyone for coming out to the Zoran event. It was really fun.

Thanks for coming and watching. We raised a bunch of money for the campaign through matching funds. If you're in New York City and want to vote for Socialist Mayor, who's actually polling pretty well right now, and you don't want to have Eric Adams be our

mayor any longer, nor do you want the Italian rapist Cuomo to get back into office, go over to Zoran. He's amazing. He gives a bad name to us Italians. Yeah, he really does. I mean, I guess I do too by not getting my ashes on Ash Wednesday.

Yeah, exactly. Why don't you get your asses on Ash Wednesday instead? On Ass Wednesday. Happy Ass Wednesday. Hey, you like Ash Wednesday? I like Happy Ass Tuesday. Fat Tuesday and Ass Wednesday. I celebrate both at the same time, baby. It's a 48

hour holiday. Jock and I celebrated Fat Tuesday together, Mardi Gras. I'm celebrating Ash Wednesday, but Jock is celebrating morbidly obese Wednesday. Can y'all believe that me and Ben survived sharing a rental unit in New Orleans for

two days together? It was incredibly chill. Is that where you are right now? No, this is my bedroom god if this was an airbnb are you kidding me cook uh right there with the world's scariest airbnb there's just flames coming out of the bottom yeah i was assuming that you like brought your own stuff to set up. He also did do that at the Airbnb. I will say the only fight that me and Ben had at the, at the, the rental place was the, um,

we, when you got locked out at 2 AM. No, that was all. Okay. Actually that was terrible. That was a whole different thing. The first night we were there,

I was finally ready to go to bed. I had already gotten like all laid out. I was ready to go to bed. Y'all. I had out finally i was ready to go to bed y'all i had my neck in at like four three in the morning or something all rattled up he's reeks of liquor and smoking cigarettes and i'm like oh god and he's he talks like this at night when we're sharing the rental don't don't scream into the mic. Jesus. Ben's famous night voice. I know it well. Imagine it was the opposite of this. And

it was just so loud and then he's like, oh, I gotta open a window. I can only sleep with flowing air. Well, it's because the smell was natural. It's because the smell was terrible. Oh, shut the fuck up. It's a big apartment. I don't smell bad. I take two to three showers a day. It was a tiny room. It it's a big apartment I don't smell bad it was a tiny room

it was not a big apartment it was not even a tiny room can you describe it Ben? must, sweat, rank kind of armpit maybe a high rank though perhaps like a captain or a commander

if it was in the smelly army for sure if ranks were decided on how bad but i would say quality wise it was bad it depends on it depends on what the um they did not smell at all there was not even an odor it depends on what the uh the ranking system is you know if you smell if you smell bad it makes you a higher rank if you smell bad it makes you a lower rank he's either highly rated or lowly rated i'd say that much but yeah um we should get to some news let's get let's get the show started some news ben's feet are rated very low on celebrity feet at least i have one bitch um do you actually have a celebrity feet i do um and i actually have do I actually have very nice feet

I get complimented on them a lot you have tiny little feet that look like they've been wrapped in peppers and vinegar I'm a nine and a half you wish you could see my feet speaking of online feet wait I gotta go to

what's the feet website try not to get a boner on camera just remember you're on camera what's the foot website called again um it's called wiki feet it's uh www.seeking derangements nudie uh nudiepost.com slash you're not on wiki feet ben see he's a liar he doesn't even want to wait you are whatever thank you oh my god you are bitch oh no that's belen mora that's my that's my real and mora that's my full name that's my full name i'll tell you one has been operated by two separate people this whole time speaking of pornography and um seeing people's private parts um i don't know if you guys saw that luigi mangione is there's more news coming out about him it was the daily mail granted um

but apparently he had he shot the headline was 20 cinema style pornography videos before the assassination um which look i mean we all know that i famously struggle with odd um extreme adult onset odd what is that i have not obstinance defiance disorder i have still not listened to brat because people were talking about it for months haven't seen calling by your name because a gay guy once told me it was urgent same thing with moonlight i can't there's a lot of things that just i completely tap out of if there's too much kind of cultural consensus uh with them luigi mangione is one of them but i think it's a real testament to his sexuality his sexiness that i still am like would you still ride you still ride or die for him i would say

yeah look yeah yeah let's let's just break it down because he's sexy because he's cool because he's hot and stylish sexy cool hot but like let's just ride number one yeah the sexy thing is like it's unbelievable he's like you think he's really hot you agree with that really like he's really beautiful he's really beautiful and good looking and i can't remember the last time that someone this beautiful or good looking committed a crime can you remember the last well famously hot felon jeremy meeks jeremy meeks oh yeah blue eyes blue eyes oh the guy who did all the modeling campaigns yeah patty my sexy sexy patty hurst yeah um i was thinking patty smith at first i was like that girl was non-sexy was patty hurst hot was patty smith patty hurst was hot yeah yeah she looked amazing she looked

no i remember the photo of her she looked amazing in that outfit i was patty horse for a long time but yeah no luigi is um i mean it's strange because i thought he shot that i mean we were all told he shot that guy because he couldn't have sex which how torturous there are a lot of people who are who don't have sex because they're ugly or incel or whatever right but that's kind of normal it's like oh yeah of course you're not having sex you can't but for a guy to be that hot and then lose the ability to have sex i was like of course i would shoot someone in the head as well yeah right in front of his face it's dangling right in front all the time and he was able to have it whenever he wanted probably but now they're saying that oh no he was an aspiring kind of

porn star so i'm like really what is what is it here i truly don't know how yeah like convinced i am that this is real just because like there's no way they wouldn't have found this stuff before it would have already been leaked but i have seen gay guys online saying that they have seen luigi's penis but that could also just be gay guys being gay guys and and clout farming they're clout sharking luigi's penis can i can i ask how many of the people that you think he had sex with that are perhaps on these alleged videos are too scared to come forward that they said that in the article they said a lot of the women women for anyone who were saying that he was bi which is of course very unfortunate i have a chance um but nothing no you would i mean between us three i think he'd he'd pick you for sure so exactly um but apparently a lot of them apparently a lot of them were

again this is the daily mail i think i don't think there's any sourcing for this but apparently a lot of the women that were in the videos do not want to come forward because they don't want to be implicated in his crime which I'm like how would you like once I don't blame him and also just to set the record straight he would choose me because

I am the most health broken out of us three and I struggle with health problems the most and he would identify with my struggles more than your two struggles okay I've struggled too yeah I don't know

what blonde hair what this guy's got blue eyes wow do you know how hard it is to be blonde Jacques you forget because it's been so long I was blonde once and it was extremely difficult for me Do you know how hard it is to be blonde, Jacques? You forget because it's been so long. I was blonde once. And it was extremely difficult for me because I looked psychotic.

When were you blonde? How long ago? When I was in Costa Rica. It was really bad. It was when I was like 20. And I went to Costa Rica with blonde hair. Your hair would probably be fried too, the kind of hair you have. It was so fucking fried.

And I was fully anorexic at the time i weighed i weighed like it must have been so much different than from i can find a photo it looked like a fucking it must be just so shocking to see like oh i'll back then and then see today because of how much bigger you've become i mean blonde jock really did look like a meth head like genuinely oh wait till you see this one it is gay meth head blonde you oh yeah i mean i've when were you blonde you you could have been a meth head you've never it was a long time ago yeah i'm certain i've seen a pic of young young twinkie ja oh yeah yeah before i even knew him okay so just to clarify the first time i ever dyed my hair i had a long mullet in the back curly hair and i dyed it blonde and my mom might have drugged me but i'm not sure but she cut my hair while I was sleeping. She cut it off.

Look at how cracky that is. Oh my! That is so crazy. Can I look closer? Hold it up again. Shut a cannon in my ear. You can handle a few of my screams. Okay, yeah.

You look good, honestly. You just look like 12 years old in that you look like me me and my aunts did you dye your mustache too no you have shown those pictures before i just have a thinner mustache he looks like he's about to do some talk talk what does that mean that's a troy sylvain. Like the band? Oh, I thought like the band too. The Charlie XCX. Iconic coconut moment when I was anorexic. Yes. Okay.

No, it won't matter, but you look like Thomas in that picture. But yeah, anyways, Luigi. So do you guys think that the sex tapes don't exist? I think they don't exist and they're just doing this to get a headline or something. I think I am curious what they mean by cinema style. I'm like, do they mean like pink narcissist? Do they mean like Love Hotel, like the pink Japanese films? What are they

talking about? Do they mean like It's exactly like Nymphomania. What's that pink film where they, the girl has to collect all the dick prints from men she has sex with and she girl like jesse and the pussycats are dicks it's a great film oh um i like it from behind i think

it's called um it could be like that anyone if you're looking for a great film you can't you can't go wrong with that one um but you guys watch the videos? I would absolutely watch them. Are you kidding me? I would love to watch them. I saw so many gay guys on Twitter were doing this really precious thing. They were like, I would love to watch them, but I would have to get his consent first. And I'm like, bitch, shut up.

You're watching them just like anyone else. Be quiet. I don't know. Maybe I totally understand revenge porn. It's terrible when it happens to women, but I don't know maybe I totally understand like revenge porn it's terrible when it happens to women but I don't really feel the same when it happens to men get over it it's a penis

like and he's making if there are 20 I feel like he was filming them to be yeah released and distributed to the general public yeah you know by the way if it's a guy and he's complaining that there's nude pictures of him on the internet, it's because his

penis is small. He looks like he has a big penis. He doesn't have to hide it. That's why he's able to film a bunch of pornography videos. Look, I 100% believe they existed. I don't think that they were cinematic style, pink narcissist

esque like art house erotic cinema I think they just mean he had like a camera I think he just he just probably put a camera on a what do you call that a tripod and you know that was I feel like cinema style implies

you had to you had at least an LED or two led lights on c stands with maybe some color gel in front of them and probably like you had to have a lighting setup hey if they're cinema style let's let's let's put it in an even more real have you made porn before jock have i met one have you made porn before yeah i've already gone through this before but but let me just say this really quickly. Yeah. Damn it, you had to interrupt me with your stupid question. What's your dream porn, Jock? If you could get paid to make any kind of porn,

what would it be, do you think? I think the first thing that came up was piss porn. And walking through what that seems like, what that sounds like. Are you peeing? What's happening with the piss? Pissing on someone, getting pissed on. i wouldn't i wouldn't what does she look like or he it doesn't or they it's probably so it doesn't really even matter just a group of people

pissing i just feel like that would be like the easiest slash like it would just i really do genuinely enjoy it you know i i feel like armpit like i really do love armpits but i felt like if i was gonna do armpit porn it would have to be with someone special because i do like you gotta get in there you gotta get up in there the armpit is special with someone but yeah i don't think i don't know what's my what's my other i'm trying to think of my i mean i just i don't think... I don't know. What's my other... I'm trying to think of my... I mean, I just... I don't know. I think, honestly,

dream porn would be like a bisexual showcase where I'm a dominant. A bisexual showcase? A real? Where I'm a dominant. I'm getting uncomfortable. Shut the fuck up.

Shut up, Ben. Come on. I don't like this. This is nasty. You're dominant. I'm getting uncomfortable shut the fuck up shut up Ben come on Jacques keep going you're dominant he's spilling things Jacques can't hear me Jacques can't hear me here's my opportunity

he's spilling it's such a waste it really is it's an important he can hear you your airpods in did you rip your airpod off no he dropped it okay wow amazing you're so good at this i'm not good at it it's really difficult do you see how much i have to stand up i have to go can you just can you just get your setup back i'm working can you hear hazard yes i can hear all right amazing welcome back to the show jock um let's switch gears here did you guys see the state of the union i watched it

i watched it last night on a one milligram i was mad i was sending you guys some clips i was mad the hell out um i sit next to a chihuahua that's trying to kill me The rudest chihuahua in the world I actually love her she's been really nice She kind of tweaked out on me last night But she's been super sweet otherwise I was also waiting for a wild boar delivery I was out in the country More on that to come

Like a live wild boar Perhaps I thought you were talking about the brand wild boar But we're What's the brand wild boar but we're we're we're what's the brand wild boar what is that like a deli meat company you're talking about boar's head no i'm talking i'm talking up there's a i think it's boar's head different man man man you and your new york city lifestyle

band band band i love recording with you just so I can pull a gun out and shoot you right next to me so we can take over and rule this land. Do you have a gun, Jacques? I do not pull it out if you do. I love recording the podcast.

I love recording podcasts. What were you asking, Ben? Nothing. Nothing. But what were you asking ben nothing but what what were the highlights ben from the state of the union did they mention any of us at all trans or well trans got a few got a few shout outs um i thought i thought hassa meant us specifically i was like i really hope that the state of ben and has Ben and Hessa and Jacques. Oh, Jacques.

It's disgusting what's going on over there, people. I can't even... I can't believe it. I wonder if he would really be so disgusted at me or... He would be disgusted by her. Yeah. I just think he would look at me like... I just think he would look at me like i just think he would look at me like he like you might look at like a really disabled pet yeah he would be disgusted by a really disabled pet yeah he's so

he would want to kill a really disabled pet he would feel like how is it not legal to kill your disabled pet yeah no he'd be he'd be grossed out by it. There were some, there were a few, well, there were several mentions of trans. I didn't get through the whole thing. He was talking about the USAID defunding and just being like, they're doing transgender in Honduras and blah, blah, blah.

He said something about transgender experiments on mice. They're making mice transgender. And I was like, what? It was in this whole laundry list of things USAID, woke things USAID was doing. Why would you make a mice transgender? Why would you? I mean, that is a good question.

I just feel like the mice are already struggling with enough. Why would you? Do you guys think he thinks that because of the South Park episode where Mr. Garrison wants his penis back and they put it on the back of a mouse and it runs around

do you think like the osmosis that has trickled through enough right wing like insane for sure Twitter like channels that he now thinks that's a real thing that's happening they're doing they're doing transgender mice surgery in africa the transgender mice but do you think that the transgender mice of the group that will want to transition come forward to be the patients or do they just choose random if they see them if they

see a young young boy mouse being really faggy or something, really queeny, and they choose him? Is that what you're asking? I mean, yeah, something like that. It could be true. It could be true. I don't think that's the case. I think if they're doing experiments on mice, they're probably not asking

the mice, you know, would you like to do this? I just don't know if they're like the regular mice or the kind of mice on like on the show um red ball no the kind of mice that go to america you know those coming to america no no no no no hessa you have to know what i'm talking about an american tail yes yes yes yes yes yes yes bible goes west yeah american tales the right so you're wondering if the mice are jewish jewish immigrants no that's the real question your question no no i i don't i don't care if they're jewish immigrants i mean like if they are good to them have a fun

time with that i just don't know um the other mention of transgender was there you know how in the state of the union they have these little like plants in the crowd like civilian plants to be like obama would rather be like oh the first game you know gay guys to get married and adopt a filipino or trump is like he's literally the world's tallest woman um stuff like that but um vanessa williams for trump there was a young and i was kind of like i don't want to be a bitch here but there was a young woman who was a former athlete um i don't know what sport are you talking about and jenner no i'm not talking about caitlin jenner and this woman was cis and she was beat in whatever sport she played by a transgender a female transgender athlete and trump was like it's so terrible that this beautiful

young woman couldn't be number one in her sport and i was looking at this bitch and i was like okay this girl looks i'm just gonna say she was she was chubby and she looked incredibly easy to beat in any sport yeah amy schumer the thing is when you look up one of these people that come forward and complain about that yeah it's always like they were number six in the northeast division like yeah they got beat by a transgender. It was literally looking, it literally looked like, okay,

she was also beat by everyone else in the league as well. And she's mad. I think it's time to just fully come out in favor of trans women playing sports. I think like, why not? You know, I'm just like,

it doesn't, it's such a fucking smoke screen. It's so stupid the only reason they do it is to get people mad at trans it's like incredibly ridiculous it's a sliver of a sliver of a sliver of a sliver of a population no one really gives a fuck like i don't know trans people who are like actually committed to this being some kind of some kind of like singular community issue it's just a straight person's excuse for being a sore loser that's the only thing like i'm just i don't know i like it's it's completely ridiculous no but like a hundred percent yeah it's like it's more than even it being a weapon against the trans

people it is literally just like the excuse that sore loser athletes who couldn't i think it's just it's just like a discourse thing that's been made to make everyone go crazy and full of resentment and completely forget what the actual parameters of these people's rights are you know and what it could affect them I hate it so much why does the president care about

high school athletics? It's weird to even think about it. It's so strange to me. I hate it so much it's unfortunately a very effective rhetorical tool because americans are so stupid and cowbrained to just think about their beautiful daughters too much um i really hate it but yeah that was the last trans mention that i saw and i was like this bitch looks like she's was this the sport baking bread. Okay, was she in a big professional hot dog

eating championship? I wonder if he made... Kobayashi won against her. Literally. Kobayashi her. This beautiful girl was in a hot dog eating contest and all of a sudden Kobayashi... Johnny No Nuts.

What's his name? Johnny Chestnuts. The guy. What's his name? Johnny Chestnuts, the guy. What's his fucking first name? I don't know. I have no idea. I know who you're talking about, though. Yeah. And then, I mean, the only other takeaway for me was J.D. Vance.

Just hating. I hate him so much. I hate what he's done to people with uh freakish blue eyes um i hate his big fat pig head his gray teeth they the glazing was crazy it was just like every single thing trump said they were like standing up and clapping oh also the democrats that got so embarrassing i just just hate them so much. Al Green. Al Green was kind of being iconic.

He was shaking his cane. Oh, he was pointing his metal handle cane like this? Yeah. No, he's a representative from like Alabama. The musician is not one of our American government. I would love that, though. Just a different old black guy named Al Green. I apologize if that's not his name.

But yeah, he was being kind of iconic iconic the rest of them are being so lame they were just holding these like auctioneer paddles that were made to look like um political signs they just said like trump lies and like you guys are so fucking embarrassing and stupid that's okay i hate them so much they're so they don't stand up against them in a way that's like palatable to make a difference in this country. They suck so much. We're all, they're all, Oh, they've given themselves the,

the impetus. Like they've set the stage for them to be able to be like, we don't have to do, we can't do anything, you know? And they're thrilled about it. You know? I mean,

I've, it's been talked about so much before but like also like about the fundraising is iconic for them under trump as well it's yeah yeah so many ways yeah i mean the um the jd vance thing did you see him the meeting with trump and zelensky hilarious i don't talk to dad that way and Zelensky. Oh, yeah. I mean, that was hilarious. JD Vance would yell from the couch, like, don't talk to dad that way. No.

Have you ever even said thank you for what we've done for you? Have you ever said thank you? I don't know. I thought it was hilarious to see Zelensky get yelled at like that. I loved his outfit. No, it was funny.

His outfit, yeah. His outfit was so cute. It does kind of look like Yeezy. It makes sense that you would like it. It looks like what? Yeezy. It, it was funny. His outfit was so cute. It does kind of look like Yeezy. It makes sense that you would like it. It looks like what? Yeezy. It did look like it. I looked at him and I said, who's this guy? He was dressed like Chris Tucker, or not Jackie

Chan in Rush Hour. Exactly. He was. Yeah, there is a kind of vaguely Chinese thing about it. Honestly, look, that's who we need in office who chris tucker and jackie tan chackie chan as the rush hour characters well i think yeah they can't drop character at all yes yeah but but jackie as president and uh chris tucker as vice yeah well chris tucker was on the upstein flight logs for flights that we know

small children were on. Was his character on Rush Hour a pedophile? Oh, it was his character. That's really true, actually, Jock. No, no, no. I'm serious. It makes sense. You're talking about the character, not the actor. Jock is saying that in office, he would be

his character, so we wouldn't have to worry about that. You separate the artist from the art. Because the character isn't actor Jack is saying that in office he would be his character so we wouldn't have to worry about that you separate the artist from the art because the character isn't a pedophile Chris Tucker was on that yes Chris Tucker and that's not even a joke we're not even kidding this isn't a super rookie so speaking of

highly problematic actors did you guys see that Carla Carla Gascon, how do you say her last name, was at the Oscars? Of course she showed up. It must have been so funny to see her there.

Yeah. I don't think they officially rescinded her offer. Did they rescind her nomination but she could still go? They didn't rescind her nomination offer did they rescinded her nomination but she could still go they didn't they didn't rescind her nomination i don't think she still is nominated but she um they were just like she just wasn't gonna win yeah and she showed up and greened out she drank a weed soda on accident yeah so this is this is the post i'll actually did she actually did that i'll read it to you right now um i'm making a uh parenthesis because what happened to me last night was very funny

to call it somehow and i want to share it i think it's important to laugh at ourselves well it turns out that i received some gifts from my oscar nomination for for best leading actress i ate a bag of chips and drank 11 lemon flavored soda. So far, so good. Suddenly, I start to feel dizzy and I think it is tiredness. I go to bed, but I notice that the intensity rises and I start to worry. I call my friend to tell him to be alert in case something happens to me. The situation does not improve and I start to take some candy because my blood pressure drops. And I have a strange feeling drops and i imagine real quick

real quick imagine being that friend and get it like it's right before the oscars and she's like just in case anything happens to me no i love you i love you so much like oh god she's gonna fucking kill herself she's gonna put a gun in her mouth at the oscars oh my god should i call them la la bb like what the hell oh my god that's so cool she killed herself at the oscars no that's like a jock thing to do absolutely i was about to say i was like if i was voted nominated for an oscar and i lost it the next year i might have to go to the day of the oscars at a hotel outside of the oscars and kill myself period i love that you're imagining the most desperate circumstance you have to kill yourself at a hospital next to the oscar okay can i just say one more thing imagine the met gala and the theme

was los angeles easy or tell far that was the met Gala theme for one year and that was the one year they told me I couldn't come and then I would kill myself in order to if the theme was Yeezy or Telfar Los Angeles apparel Telfar or Yeezy clothing I love that one of those is just like

a totally like Gap style clothing brand run by a pedophile is just like a totally like Gap style clothing brand run by a pedophile and he's so obsessed with it because he said hi to you inside the store he's not a pedophile

get me a break let's get Dov on the phone let's get Dov on here I've never given her a damn shirt let's call Dov anyone who wants a size 2XL dress on the phone. Let's get Dov on here. I've never given her a damn shirt. Let's call Dov. Anyone who wants a size 2XL dress, do not call him.

Put the phone away. You think I'm 2XL, bitch? No, I'm being a bitch. I was being a bitch. I was like, okay, everyone, since Hessa wants to make fun of my clothing brand again, anyone who wants the clothes I was supposed to give to Hessa, it's a...

Ellie apparel is not your clothing brand. It's so funny. I have a 16 XXXL size dress I was supposed to give to Hessa. So if anyone is that size... If anyone is the size of a house... Oh, great great Jesus. Anyways, Carla says, I have a strange feeling. As I move, I can say, let me see.

Something I have eaten has made me sick. I checked the composition of the bag of chips. Nothing. Of the can of soda and is 25 milligram THC I laugh now even though I still have vertigo

but I still did get scared good thing my daughter didn't take it to school anyways the rest of the gifts are very nice thank you

so she got fucking soap it must have been so crazy to see her there and realize that she was just... Big Mama was just blitzed out of her fucking skull.

No, I think... I mean, imagine being her and you have that classic thought that you have when you're high. That intrusive thought of like... Everyone hates me. Everyone hates me. Everyone's mad at me. Everyone hates me. But it's true. It's actually true and all the people

are celebrities there it is everyone famous in the world no and everyone has read your racist tweets where you're calling like muslims dogs no it's insane yeah it's insane i did see a clip of her that night and she looked she did look pretty blitzed she looked crazy yeah she looked i mean she looked like she was in another world i don't know i want to see pictures can you can't i don't know where it is you can't keep her down though you cannot you can't keep a good you can't keep a good girl down but do you think she's gonna i wonder what her comeback from this will be she must have lost jobs reality show for sure in in spain probably that makes sense it's a reality show where she lives

in a house with her she's gonna be so jose castello bronco oh literally that's what i'm picturing yeah yeah it's a celebrity big brother style show where her kamala um kanye um just like a bunch of people are having trouble i brought jock stall hey y Hessa, I brought Jock Stahl. Hey, y'all. Put that thing away. Hey, y'all. Hey, Jock. Hey, y'all. What's up? I'm so tired of that ugly thing.

I lost his foot. Because he's disrespectful to my body. Oh my God. I didn't. In person and in metaphor. I didn't, but I did find the foot of his. Oh, you found the foot. It's disgusting.

At least they got that. It's just so disgusting. That's what you get. But guess what, Ben? Well, our listeners have to be able to listen to it. Well, guess what, Ben? You see that? I'll hit it. I'll hit it. Don't just so disgusting. That's what you get. But guess what, Ben? Well, our listeners have to be able to listen to it. Well, guess what, Ben?

You see that? I'll hit it. I'll hit it. Don't. Don't. I know Jacques has a surprise for you, Ben. I do have a surprise

for you. He's showed it to me. What is it? I've seen it. Hessa's making it sound like I've exposed myself to her. His penis.

I've already seen his penis. It's his penis. I've already seen his penis. Hold on. Believe me, it's not a surprise whenever I see it. I am being careful!

Stop screaming into the mic. Please. Where does he want me to scream into my own asshole? I just want you to stop screaming. Stop screaming like you're on the bus. What is that? Stop, you bitch. Stop. You have to be really gentle because he's really kind of fragile you can't hold him yet because why because it's my dog it's jock's turn you

wouldn't let jock hold it you wouldn't hold yours so you have to be respectful okay so scoot over show the camera oh wait get your face in so you can see your face. They know what I look like. No, so they can see your reaction. Jesus Christ. Just show me the doll. It's beautiful.

You had blue eyes but I wanted to make them more blue like yours. What is this? That's just to hold down his poncho. Don't do that. Don't show that part. Why? Don't. Because that's not what it's just to hold down his poncho don't undo that don't that show that part why don't because that's not what it's meant to say you could be you could damage yourself

why would you throw the doll like that after i worked so hard like a monkey uh come on ben did that hurt when you threw the doll be honest it did It did hurt, yeah. You just unplugged the microphone when you did that. The microphone's being plugged in here, babe. No, you unplugged this part. It's okay. The mic is still picking up. It's okay. I don't think that part Yeah, that part doesn't have to be plugged in. I told you guys. It's okay, Jacques. Jacques,

go for the doll. Thanks for the doll. I love it. Go check on your sweetie. Look at baby Ben. He has retard strength that almost ripped my wrist off. You did break it. No, it was not broken. You did not even throw something.

Calm down. Let me see. Let me see it. No, I'm not. It's okay. We're both broken. You broke yours on purpose. I didn't. Jock, can you... Jock, calm down. It's going to be okay. The difference, the problem is that Jock's doll is actually porcelain

because in the South, there's a grand tradition of scary dolls. And Ben, you were drawing on New York City-style scary doll culture. That's true. Which is a lot weaker. That is true. And Jacques knew to use real porcelain. His does kind of look better than mine, I'll be honest. But this one's been through a lot.

That one is more durable. Jacques, it's going to be okay. It's a lot like both of you. Jacques, it's going to be okay. Yeah, why'd you break it, Ben? Come ben come on shut up you don't know what it's like to be manhandled by him he's like a gorilla okay what am i supposed to do now i make my own doll for myself you should maybe jock and i can make one for you i'll make yeah i will make one for you yeah we can collab on a doll for hessa how about that yeah i'll make one for you. Yeah, we can collab on a doll for Hessa. How about that? Yeah, I'll make one for you.

For Hessa. I don't collaborate. Can I see Ben? Can I see the Ben doll? Yeah, let's get it back up here. Put it up close. Can you please just calm down? Hold it so close.

Hold it super close. The video just skipped. So it was like far away and then the next brain it was right in the it was right in there oh my god it looks just like you ben hold it up move it while i talk hey hessa how are you doing today hey ben you look so great today thank you what are you wearing what are those clothes that you're wearing you know it's just the shirt I wear that says my name on it, which I always love to do with a diaper. I know.

It's the classic. Oh, my arm. Oh, no, my arm. What is it? What fell off? Your fucking ear buds. Your mic. I'm getting a damn mic. It's so hard. Oh, my God. I'm never doing this again. Oh, shut up. Calm down. I'm literally calling you. You're the one who's screaming at the top of your lungs.

Will you guys behave if I have to pee really bad? Will you guys behave if I run to the restroom? Don't touch me. Don't touch me, you bitch. I was just like, can you guys behave? Because you freaked out on me. Don't touch me. I don't trust you to touch me anymore.

You literally are so much stronger than you realize you almost ripped my hand off shut up i'm not i'm being serious don't throw something i threw it at you after you assaulted me physically you're so there's video footage of it well i'll believe it when i see it oh you will see it this will be out and like tomorrow i don't watch stuff so well i'll clip it to you and send it to you. I'll also send it to the Lafayette police for the assault that happened in this room. Okay, watch.

I'm not going to do it, y'all. These boots could just crush his head like a grape in the wind. Yeah. You know what you kind of look like? What? Like a raisin in the wind yeah you know what you kind of look like what like a raisin in the sun no i don't you know that you know that famous play though yeah i look like that

um i was just like rolling with it just kind of giving it just say just saying some stuff just saying some stuff that's amazing hanging out we we you know we've been doing our mardi gras thing we uh we haven't killed each other yet we've been uh we've been actually pretty well behaved until he went chip mode just now oh the only other i was trying to say this earlier so ben woke me up when he was coming home from the club and he was demanding that a window be left open because it smelled like farts and it did not smell like farts stop saying that i did not smell like farts i'm just saying my side of the story jock you're if anything you smell like the fart because you don't ben is weird he doesn't shower when he gets home after night after going out at night especially

in new orleans which is just so ick fat i'm not showering drunk at 4 a.m i will sleep and wake up and shower you'd rather sit in the fifth and let it build um well it's i'm rolling around on the floor okay welcome back hessa hello has the doll um no i quit the show. Shut up! Stop! You're being so dramatic. I quit. I literally lit a fire for you. I moved my TV for you. Well, it's for you, bitch. It's your job too. I moved my TV for you. Jesus Christ.

Do you care about anything at all, y'all? I know. I know, Hessa. I literally had to coax him like an animal going into a cage to ask him if I could move his TV. It's insane. And then he thinks it's for me for me chuck it's for the show we do together you understand that's yeah you honey i understand but you ain't gotta be a sharpshooter from this distance you know what i'm saying i don't know what that means threatening to kill ben yeah this is

something this is out of out of the ordinary for what I've seen this weekend which or like since Ben has gone to visit usually during Mardi Gras every year I get texts from both of you saying I can't I can't y'all. Well it's because usually I'm

trying to work and this year I kind of gave up on doing any work with Jock outside of these videos so you're such a little bitch about the way you just said that. Have you guys had fun? It's been pretty major. We're going to go get some po-boys later. Well, you guys are recording. I need to go do some other work and then we're going to go

get po-boys. We're recording in a half hour. I know. It's going to be fun. No, it'll be sick no it'll be sick it'll be major and then we're doing we'll see if it happens I want to go to an escape room tonight?

no not tonight it would be really funny I want to do an escape room with me and Jock and maybe our HR person Kyla maybe Stephen if Stephen makes it into town i really wanted to find i was trying to research one that records it we can just bring in mics it'll be fine i just think it'd be so funny to have if they had the video of us trying to like it's just we're doing too

many videos i don't want it's like too much too much editing work but an audio one would be good i think an audio one in escape room could be kind of funny because yeah you won't be able to see you won't be able to see anything you just have to like really listen you would both get so frustrated it would be hours i don't care anymore i give up i don't care anymore i just let jock i let jock chimp out and as long as he doesn't um try to rip my hand off I let him go it's something I've come to peace with okay but I just want to say

that the hand being ripped off was both of your fault no okay first of all no it wasn't you stupid fucking bitch fuck you or fuck you you blonde haired bitch you. Or fuck you, you blonde-haired bitch. You ain't nothing but a hound dog.

Man, fuck you. Fuck you. You ain't nothing but a stupid whore. You fucking bitch. High five, Ben. High five, Ben, because she's a fucking retarded whore bitch. Go sleep in the dog house

where you belong, whore. Go sleep with a dog because you ain't nothing but a bitch. Bitch. Bitch. Ah! Ah! Bitch. Got you. Got your ass. All right. leave with a dog because you're nothing but a bitch bitch bitch bitch got you

got your ass alright alright stop Jesus fucking Christ I'm just kidding I don't care I don't care it doesn't affect me

I'm so sorry to Max this episode is oh get over it it's beautiful it's a beautiful episode well when you scream into the mic whatever I'm not even doing this right now I don't give a shit sorry oh my god Steven's coming It's beautiful. It's a beautiful episode. Well, when you scream into the mic...

Whatever, I'm not even doing this right now. I don't give a shit. Sorry. Oh my God, Steven's coming! Yay! Yay! I get to hang out with a normal gay guy. Ben, could you put your phone away? This is not a time for text messages. I haven't seen Steven in years, actually, now that I'm thinking about it.

Literally. Yay! Steven's coming home. Yeah. Steven would be amazing in The Escape Room. I want to go with steven he's such a genius we could actually fit him through most keyholes um he is tiny also that kind of looks like him as well that does not look like him this looks like you baby steven i'll look i just want to say something about the artistic process of me developing this doll. The artistic process. The artistic process. If you take a closer look at the eyes,

they were a more darker blue. You really got the shade right. I had to use a marker, but I got it. It's so scary. I gave him the rosy cheeks. It really is crazy. You nailed the eyes. I don't really have rosy cheeks do i

you gave his facial hair you made it more villainous i think a little bit i don't really have that rosy or you know what i wish i know because he wears makeup to cover up the rosy cheeks but this is what it looks like let me see ben bring your face closer to the camera because it's a little blurry right now. You do have the villain kind of facial hair. I'm not shaving. I haven't shaved. I'm covered in mud. I've been in the country doing yard work.

Usually I'd be more well-shaven. But it is kind of the devil thing. A devilish look. A Jafar type. For sure. Say something for a second. I'm going to fix them. second. You gonna fix what? Was Jock helping at all with this yard work?

Or no? I'm not even there. That's a different city from me. No, Jock doesn't do yard work. I'm not even there. Jock's a city boy. He doesn't come to the country. Okay, look. I tried to give him that his ash Wednesday marker. That looks beautiful to give him that Ash Wednesday marker.

That looks beautiful. That's so sweet. What else is coming? Really, really, really quick. He doesn't know how to hear volume. Really quick. It's not that I didn't do yard work.

He was in a different city than me that would take 20 to 30 minutes. It's fine if you didn't do yard work. He was in a different city than me that would take 20 to 30 minutes. It's fine if you didn't do yard work. So you did do yard work. You don't have to defend me. I didn't do yard work, but it was not my yard work. Why are you so angry about yard work? How does your yard look right now, Jacques?

My yard has nothing to do with this. This is not about my yard. It's not something to be so argumentative about. It's just yard work. No, but's not something to be so argumentative about it's just no but you're you're painting me as someone who doesn't want to work i never said that i never said that you're working right now i work i mean jack there's no shame in not wanting to work i don't want to work it's okay i'll tell you right now calm down um but yeah i think we need to get don't shoot me please um What else is going on?

What else is happening in the world, y'all? What else is happening in the world? I had something. I had something. Oh, there's a trade war? Girl, the trade war. It's called my DMs. Uh-huh, literally.

Free trade agreement. It's called Casablanca. Y'all are out here agreeing with your trade for free? Mm-hmm. Mexican trade. Is he 6'2"? agreement casablanca y'all are out here agreeing with your trade for free mexican trade is he six two with a goatee y'all a sniffy's documentary called the trade war trade war do they have combat nurses because i want to go eggs are in small supply because of the trade war international trade yes exactly international trade

I do think it's funny it's eggs and soy prices international trade call me the UN right soy is going up right now hassa yeah yeah soy futures so does that mean that now out of the alternative soy futures if there was a if there was like a soy futures if there was an order list of alternative milk cost when you're at the barista coffee shop

is soy the most expensive barista coffee shop because I feel like if there was an ordered list of alternative milk costs I'm actually not sure Jacques I feel like it would go like this

can you rephrase what you just said oat, cashew soy almond almond milk is more expensive than soy milk for sure yeah I think that shit's totally

no one's on alternative milks anymore that shit is way out everyone's back on whole milk for the record I never fucked on alternative milks anymore. That shit is way out. Everyone's back on whole milk. Whole milk is fine. For the record, I never fucked with alternative milks besides coconut. I don't mind almond milk. Coconut milk I like. Almond milk I will put up with. Oat milk

is slop. Koi slop. Cashew milk I do like, but it is crazy. Pistachio milk is really, really good. Oh, I've never even tried pistachio milk. Pistachio milk is delicioso.

You know what? Coconut milk frozen yogurt is really good also. Yeah. I use it for... That's really good. I use... There's a good coconut milk water blend that's like super cheap that I use for smoothies. I really only fuck with milk and coffee.

I don't think i not really outside of it or maybe sometimes for making a sauce you know i really quickly want to change that's more like cream yeah my porn uh uh request i knew it was gonna be a food based is that they pour people are constantly pouring cans of coconut milk on me they're opening the can of coconut milk and then pouring on me and that happens every second over 45 minutes so it's gonna cost a lot of games while i'm it doesn't come up a lot but i was vegan for like two years and i drank mostly almond milk and you still and it was it's good shit yeah do you know why i broke with the food that got me to break being vegan. What was it? It was Greek yogurt. Oh my

God. It's just so good. It's crazy that you didn't even eat yogurt. But I do love, it's so funny it wasn't even like a hamburger. Yeah, 5% Fie. It's just like ice cream. Yeah, I broke on the five days I made it

vegan on turkey, which is not even like my favorite meat. Why were you vegan? It lasted five days, I'm telling you. When? Also, Hessa, that's a long time for you. What was going on in your life? You were in a coma for five days and you call it vegan? No, no, no, no, no!

No, shut the fuck up. It wasn't coma based based i was vegan for five days y'all i only ate a nutrient paste that was pumped directly into my bloodstream yeah yeah i was also no fap no sex all five days yeah it's just it's it's surprising that uh yogurt was the thing that broke you I mean I just I've never seen you much as a yogurt person I've never seen you eating yogurt since you're full of such so much shit

everyone's a yogurt person yogurt is up majorly everyone's eating yogurt it's delightful I was like this bitch is full of so much shit there's no way that she'd be eating yogurt she's just fucking eating poop.

Yep. Bitch. I'm eating poop. God, I'm furious. This bitch is eating poop. This bitch is eating poop for real. This bitch is pooped out. Yo, I'm browning out.

I'm browning out. No, I was never vegan i was vegetarian for like maybe a year in high school and just like a indie way um hindi or indie indie yeah i would i would also go vegetarian in a Hindi way for sure. Yeah. But I couldn't do it. I think it's vegan. Vegan is going to start back up again big time. Well, woke is back. Woke is coming back because of Trump.

Yeah. And it'll be fun for sure. I'm going to woke out. Woke is back. We just voted. They just voted Trump. And that's precisely why it's back for those of us with, those of us who are ahead of the

trends. Right. Hmm. Yeah. Um, but I'm back. I'm back. I want to be a lib again. Um, I can't wait to live out with y'all on this lib podcast.

Yeah. Get really woke. We're liberal now. We're liberal. We're liberal now. Everybody. Um, we're so sorry. I've never said we're a liberal now. liberal now everybody um we're so sorry i've never said and we're a

liberal now we are for the people yeah yeah sorry about everything we've ever said uh sorry but we're taking it back yeah when we said that larry the lobster was turkish we actually didn't realize how we are apologizing for that for all that stuff we did to the lobster and or turkish community yeah also when i said nothing to do with race also when i said lego was lego all lego characters were chinese yeah i remember that but you said that like last week you said that yeah it's not it wasn't because of the color yeah it was because i was on a different podcast and i got it mixed up and i said that they were chinese because of belt and road because they build things okay sure and it's not because of the color it has nothing to do with the color oh the like a people i'll be honest i'll be honest

i totally was like all right period because i thought it was about the color totally i was like okay so let's go well i'm only right i'm liberal and you you are not you're a fake liberal don't do that already we're trying to pivot girl let us pivot it's time to pivot time we have to all be liberal i'm not pivoting jocks jocks been a lib look watch me pivot pivot It's time to shawsape all change up. I'm getting a lot of view of my body right now. How much do you think they would pay on an extra subscription fee if I was doing this naked? What tier would y'all have to talk?

First of all, what tier would y'all have to talk? Everyone sound off in the comments. What tier would you do? How much would you pay for where Hessa and Ben have to talk to me just started only fans no and we're Ben and I are dressed like pilgrims I'm not doing that I'm not doing that

I'm not doing that you would look so funny Ben you would look like a cartoon like cut out that goes on the wall of a kindergarten like a pilgrim like a pilgrim dressed like a pilgrim yeah fuck you he's so colonial

when you look at him I'm not colonial so colonial next to a turkey that has a little hat on number one funny more like number one colonial shirts period nice my favorite colonist column is more like number one colonial shirts. Period. Nice.

My favorite colonist. Columnist. More like colonist. What? I don't even give a shit. Whatever. Columnist. Like a person that does columns.

But I'm not a columnist. I know. I was just trying to come up with something. Okay. Should we wrap it up here so that I can prepare for the next? Yeah. We probably should. All right, everyone. Thank you for listening. Thank you. Thank you for hearing us. Should we wrap it up here so that I can prepare for the next? Yeah, we probably should. Um, all right,

everyone, thank you for listening. Um, thank you for hearing. We will be back very soon with, um, probably another video episode with just me and jock doing some, maybe eating wild boar.

Um, if you liked what you heard, you can watch it on our Patreon where we have other videos, or you can, um, listen to our entire catalog and weekly bonus episodes there patreon.com slash seeking arrangements and with that happy mardi gras you got about a thousand in your head they call it uh shut the hell up um i don't i don't know

if it's and you got them just around here um i'd like to plug if you haven't seen it already go ahead and go to youtube and search um caribbean blue by inya it's a really good music video bye everyone bye i do what I can to keep them satisfied. Smoke my bees by smoking and rye.