Seeking Derangements - SD 39 UNLOCKED! - The Assignment AKA Tomboy AKA The (Re)Assignment AKA Tomboy: Revengeance

Episode Date: March 4, 2021

https://www.patreon.com/seekingderangements ------------------------------------------------------------------- Last November we sat down and watched this movie about a pinkpilled forcefemmed assassin for the mob who's turned trans by the direct opposite of Ben Carson - a crazy surgeon with no hands! michelle rodriguez telegraphed her performance in, while tony shalhoub and sigourney weaver delivered probably some of the most electric scenes in cinema history. intro/// Kiyoshi Sugamoto - Yeh! Boogie (1980) outro/// Raney Shockne - Tomboy (Main Title Sequence) (2016)

Hello children. Alright, welcome everyone. We're going to do a movie episode today. We're going to talk about this movie called The Assignment. And then we'll have a regular episode out on Tuesday or Wednesday. But how are you guys doing? How are you boys doing? I had a really disappointing sex with a Dominican guy today. Oh! How does a Dominican end up in Spain? Oh. How does a Dominican end up in Spain? Very carefully.

No, I mean, same way that I did. They're in the same university, I guess. But, like, I don't know. Like, we met at a party last night. And there's, like, a, you know, like, you can't be on the street. Like, Dembo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Insane. Yeah, I, yeah. Insane. Yeah, I went to the only party in town

last night and I stupidly stayed out after the curfew started. So I had to stay at that house. Oh, that's such an amazing way to neg your way into sex though. It's to stay at someone's house

until the curfew and it's like I can't I can't go home you have to have sex I'm legally obliged to sleep with a man is it really that severe if I leave

if I leave the apartment the Spanish police who wear those little fat costumes are gonna deport me yeah back to America yeah

these stormtroopers straight out of fucking Tom of Finland posters are gonna to arrest me. They look so gay. They literally look like a Tom of Finland police force. It's like their police test is, like their police training is just seeing how big your bulge can look in leather pants. Exactly, yeah.

Seeing how many Kylie Minogue albums you know. My heart. Seeing how chubbed up you can get in a pair of leather pants. Seeing how the leather beret fits on your head. Yeah. But I mean, that's surprising that you had disappointing sex with a Dominican in Spain. Can you explain what was disappointing about it? I've had sex with Spanish guys before.

The whole thing, the whole experience, I guess. It's just like, I felt like I was... They're really hot people but they're very conventionally attractive and i think because of that they kind of just like lay there they seem like a very boring let's Spanish they're like very bored this guy wasn't like uh like i don't know he was just like Spanish it's not something that i'm like super into anyway but uh but yeah like i mean he he's cool and he's a nice guy and all that but probably never again uh you know i pray he never hears such a one-star review of himself

yeah uh dominicans it hasn't reached their uh their culture yet like that's hot yesterday the only dominican podcaster is like mero the kid mero and he's like he loves talking about israel so it's like you know it doesn't matter what's what's new with you jock oh nothing jock was late today everyone he was probably what were you doing i was literally a minute late you psycho yourself psycho ass bitch who um might i remind you last we couldn't even show up because he's so high on mushrooms a minute late. You psycho. You psycho-ass bitch who, might I remind you, last week couldn't even show up because he's so high on mushrooms.

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. You know what, Jacques, that's, yeah, you got me. I moaned. Bitch.

I did have a, I had a bad trip. And I was a minute late. Literally a- That was my, I also told you before we recorded. Yeah. But I have been doing a lot of mushrooms

and I- Ben has been trying to find himself, y'all but I have been doing a lot of mushrooms, and I... Ben has been trying to find himself, y'all. I've been trying to find myself. I've been a little space cadet. Usually just microdosing, because it's really nice. Yeah, it's great. This is the Marianne Williams

just to take one little stem in the morning and microdose it. It really chills you out. It has visibly improved my my mood using like antidepressants but the other day i ate a mushroom before i ate anything else oh no and my metabolism i think was just ready to like you know start this day to turn these things into calories and i got so fucked up the entire world felt so hostile to me i got in my bed and just pulled the covers up and laid there it was the only time and i just like i was just being like if i leave my room

right now someone's gonna shoot okay so there's the only time that i'd ever seen ben vulnerable and it was the only time that i'd ever felt equal to ben or superior more so or superior wow seeing him in a weakened state like this you've seen me vulnerable plenty of times not that vulnerable that was pretty that was i was like wow you know i've been many compromised positions yeah but that was that was on my top it's just because like you are very open and honest and constantly being vulnerable totally you see me at my craziest you the baseline is like being paid to have sex and cake. Of course everyone seems like a hardened shell of a human to you because no one else is doing that shit.

Okay, first of all, before you describe me as some kind of crustacean human, ex-escouted bitch. I'm describing other people as that. Crustacean human. I'm sorry. Look, I sorry I'm gonna go ahead and just say Ben I'm sorry about your emotional trauma

I'm sorry that you have to grow in a way that I've already grown and I forgive you I'm not eating okay grow in a way give you what fat i'm not eating okay growing away only now that now words in all directions now that we're done listening to ben's period talk stupid broad my pm at my mushroom pms behavior i'll tell you what i've been up to i just got back from the suburbs you know i was uh

on a hideaway there kind of trying to rest my chakras and rebuild my sleeping habits. I had my chakras surgically removed by a doctor. I guessed you will, by the way. Have y'all paid attention? I was forced de-chakra.

You were forced de-chakra-ed by someone you canceled on Instagram. What I was doing was catching up on Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. Did you guys happen to hear about how- I love Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. One of their housewives, Mary Cosby- Wait, Jacques, we should just save this. We should just do me and you, since Max is now in Spain and is learning and growing in school.

We should just save this and do Salt Lake City recaps on our own. This is my Salt Lake City teaser. It'll be enticing enough and reserved enough. I love Salt Lake City. One of these housewives has their sweat glands removed because they can't... She got hurt. No. They were called

an odor gland. Because she couldn't stand the smell because she's so sensitive to smell. She dies two times on the table. Yeah, she died two times the smell because she's so sensitive to smell she dies she's two times on the table like yeah she died two times okay so and she she died two times this is a woman her name is mary she's the only black one on the real housewives she's also the most on him she is yeah she is mathed out she's on some some insane prescription. I think she runs a cult. Word on the street is she's running some kind of cult-like Presbyterian.

Pentecostal. Pentecostal. Sorry, not Pentecostal. Wake up. Way too chill. Anyways, the drama in the first episode was that Mary told Jen that she smelled like hospital after Jen saw her aunt in the hospital who had to get both of her legs

amputated. I can't believe you haven't seen it, Max. Damn, it smells like hospital in here. She's like, Mary, my aunt got both of her legs am mary mary mary was like i didn't say you smell like it just smells like hospital smells like hospital she's like i would and then mary looks at her with this crazy shaking face like i would never do anything to hurt you jen yeah she has

very and then they hug like tweaker twe. Oh, yeah, she always is opening her eyes to the fullest extent, but beyond the normal human eye-opening ratio. It's like... See, I've only seen The Real Housewives midway through a long run because one of my gay friends gets me to watch it, and I've liked it, but I've always felt a little bit left out

because they are very epic storylines. Yeah, there's lore there's like so much lore it like is its own kind of like mythology or whatever and so i'm always kind of left out of the loop because all the drama is so like whiplash and um fleeting but this all Lake City one is nice because I can get in on the ground floor. So Jacques, you and I should watch this and recap it. I fully agree with that. But we did watch the movie The Assignment. Oh, did you guys see? As part of the theme for today's show is transitioning.

Did you see Joe Biden try to crowdfund his oh my god so fucking funny dude it's fucking ridiculous it's like yeah chip in like it like the contradictions here are like it it's you don't even need to really point them out i mean like it's been what the government gave us a 1200 check and he's asking us to check it. For a transition of Wall Street people and oil and pharma. It's like, these people are evil. They're in the overwrite. What do you mean there's not enough money? And also, what even needs to be funded?

What needs to be funded in a transition? It's going to be like, it's two months. It's just writing press releases. Two months from now, they'll have access to literally. It's just, oh, we want this person to do this thing. What needs to be funded? I literally don't understand.'t understand funding a lawyer against trump more sense it would make way more sense if joe biden like literally was just like i want money transition like i want booze yeah will you please help pay no if that makes more sense to me yeah he's literally trying

to crowdfund his transition if he's doing like a for the girls thing and it's like okay I will absolutely give you fucking money for your tits I would love to help fund the first trans president's boob job before they get inaugurated

it would definitely be a crowd pleaser among the wokes it would be fucking awesome if this was like Before they get inaugurated. It would definitely be a crowd pleaser among the wokes. It would be fucking awesome. Yeah. If this was like a long con on the part of like queer theorists. Well, I mean, let's not forget the other first trans president, Barack Obama. Oh, that's right. You really can't forget this. Wait, I thought he was a gay hooker.

And Michelle is a trans woman. Yeah, no. I mean, histories converge and diverge in many different ways, and this is one of them. Wow. He's transitioned and de-transitioned. Y'all just blew my brain out. I can't believe I just found out these facts. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is like learning how to JFK.

Read your book, guys. Read your book. Read them. Educate yourselves. Yeah. Google is a free resource. Now, if Joe Jorgensen, I think Joe Jorgensen would have been the only candidate

who could have done this exact same thing and gotten away with it, because at least he had the excuse of being like, oh, this is... I feel like Pete will probably transition so he can run to be the first female president. I don't want to sound mean, but Joe Jorgensen couldn't transition.

The bangs don't transition into male hair that it just wouldn't work out i mean i don't mean ben can have bangs yeah i don't know you're you're queer you're i'm trying you're a kind of trans aren't you i you remember you've had you've had some trans faces i do you remember me crying for like two months and yeah months about wanting to transition i was like and i was like Yeah, months about wanting to transition. And I was like, Jacques, you don't want to transition. You just want to be a popular DJ. Shut up.

I hate you. No. It's not like I was- I really didn't want to transition. Yo, I'm about to transition into being Sophie. I'm going to my doctor. I'm going to my doctor. I hate you. I'll go to my Dr. Sean LeHood and hood. Hey, Sean, can you turn me into Sophie?

Yeah. Can you give me some red hair plugs and some hot cheek plugs? I'll say this. Maybe I would transition one day, but it's like a safety thing. And I don't know. I feel like what's the point? It costs a lot of money. It costs a lot of money.

It's a bit to recover from it, of money. It costs a lot of money. I don't, you know. It's a bitch to recover from it too. And you can just be a woman. Yeah, I can be a woman just the way I am. You kind of are. I mean, we're all basically women. No, I'm not going to get all queer. I'm not going to queer.

Yeah, we're all bitches. I'm not going to queer theory boost the house down, mama. We're fucking bitch. You know, I just have an identity that's very fluid and i don't really care if you don't if i present yeah if i look like a man it doesn't mean i'm a man if anyone looks like you know you know what i'm saying i don't even need to yeah this is shit that i don't even spill the scalding tea yes let's talk about honestly it's like it's like i don't really care that much you know like if like if I were, if someone was like, if I could get like.

Oh, my God. I got to turn my oven off. I don't. What? What? He's running around the room right now. Oh, my God. The thing is, he's not even at his house right now.

He's at our friend's house. Our friend's parent's house. It's not even his oven. It's our friend's parent's suburban home that he's cooking. Oh, shit. We gotta ask them what's on

the menu for tonight. I mean, what kind of gumbo do you need to... Oh my god, he's running around the room with a pan right now. Jacques! It's okay, I think the room is smoking. Jacques, you fucking

retard. What are you doing? Oh my god. It's all on the floor! Oh my god. I'm so surprised he's alive. Everything is a miracle for Jacques. It is literally a miracle that you are not at Jacques' back. Prove positive that God exists.

I had about four or five pieces of bacon earlier and the last three were just not as crisp as the others. So I put it back in the oven and then I was panicking and I'm watching the assignment and...

You were watching that thing like two hours ago. Are they completely gone? How long was the bacon in the oven? Wait, so sorry. Just so I can fully understand. So I can fully understand what's happening here. You had four pieces of bacon and they weren't crispy enough, so you made more.

I had... And then forgot about it until it set on fire. I originally made about nine pieces, eight pieces of bacon. I was going to say, you don't strike me as a four piece of bacon. No, of course not. I'm living the high life. Okay, buddy? I'm trying to get high.

I'm trying to get high off the grease. You fucking little fags. Wake up. Read the dictionary in the high life, okay, buddy? I'm trying to get high. I'm trying to get high off the grease. You fucking little fags. Wake up. Read the dictionary if you want to learn how to get high, idiots. Anyway, yeah, the bacon's fine. I mean, it's a little burnt out there. You put the bacon outside. Jacques had to move the bacon outside

because it was smoking too much. It wasn't smoking too much. Are you at our friend's parent's house right now? No, I don't want to. Are you at a parent, our friend's parents house right now? No, I'm at my boyfriend, Michael's apartment.

Oh, okay. Got it. Good thing you didn't burn it down. I'm glad you didn't burn it down. He's so sweet. Y'all, he's upstairs.

Your boyfriend is going to need to take out maybe like seven different kind of insurance policies. Just listen to this. My boyfriend is so sweet. He needs to get renter's insurance. He needs to get... He's honestly... He needs burning bacon insurance.

He needs all that shit. The insurance companies need to just have a Jacques plan. Yes. It's an all-encompassing insurance policy for just being near you. I'm still surprised that there's not like a... It covers things like your house burning down because of bacon being on fire.

Yeah. Sli being on fire. Slipping on grease, breaking your neck. Is it legal for me to crowdfund an insurance, a life insurance plan that everyone gets a piece of? Probably. Maybe. Then that'd be like... I would die, so I wouldn't get anything. Yeah. Well, yeah, you'd be dead.

But you mean everyone else who chipped into the life sounds like community aid to me that might be it's called mutual well mutual aid that would be great mutual aid of me while i'm dead yeah we should do a jock um uh pastel instagram while jock while jock gets uh the bacon grease situation settled my boyfriend gonna kill me you guys wanna transition you have probably

Jacques you have probably killed like nine people in your life from just the trails of grease you leave around they say involuntary manslaughter. Can I get from Greece-related incidents?

My boyfriend is so sweet that he's upstairs in the community room on the 13th floor of this building, which is the most fun place on the earth. I wish I could take y'all. I love apartment buildings like that. It's a really nice apartment building.

I mean, it's kind of like a bleak, gross concept. Jesus Christ. Get over yourself. Hey, look. I also have a note before we talk about the assignment. I wanted to show y'all

this. I have this t-shirt of myself when I was a young child actor. Be careful standing up. There's grease everywhere. This is me as a child actor. I'm kind of like a Benjamin Button case. I work for Six Flags.

You're the Six Flags guy. I'm the Six Flags guy. See, this is what my health has done to me. It's when you were a twink. This is me when I was a twink. When you're the same exact proportions of an 80-year-old man. All I have to say is when I was really, truly a twink,

I should have sold myself more. You had a twink phase. A long twink phase. I've looked at your Instagram, Chuck. You went back. And Ben, you kind of knew. No. I'm sorry you know you were not a twit you were not a twink at the time i met you no obviously you were on the point

to where you are now which is just a like a twunk or by definition i'm a failure you're kind of a cob what my i would say i'm going home to louis, and I know they're going to make me do that thing where I have to stand on the scale as soon as I get home so they can weigh me and compare it to what they thought it was. Is that what your family does to you? Yeah, every time I come back for Christmas, they like me to sit down. They're like, okay, we're going to go get the scale out.

Come on, take your shoes off. And I'm like, I told you I lost some weight. And they're like, um. I'm just imagining a group of like 21 people waiting for your arrival so they can tell you that you're fat. You've gotten fatter. Yeah, I do. You're not even you're not even fat, though. You're like, you're just big.

I'm not as fat anymore. But I definitely used I definitely had a phase where I was like 250 when I first got to Denver. Whoa, I don't remember that. You were not 250. Yeah. I lost. No way. Yes. Yes. Well, you know what? The nice thing about you being fat is that your body stores it in a kind of proportionate

volume. It's all my ass, bitch. It's not in your ass. I got a nice ass. Jockney, the TLC show called my 250 pound ass my 250 pound ass life my 250 pounds and my boyfriend's butt i keep getting greased all over we're getting a little off topic tlc show my gay ass we're getting really really off topic you guys remember the original reason why we sat down to record this podcast

yeah we can go into the sorry I don't want to be a bitch about it but no no no no we've got to go to bed now shut up Max is in Spain I'll introduce us we watched a movie from 2016

called The Assignment starring the beautiful, ever sexy Michelle Rodriguez. If you don't know who Michelle Rodriguez is, she was approximately one of the 52 Guess My Ethnicity ladies from the Need for Speed franchise. It's called Fast and Furious franchise. Needs for Speed is the- Oh, that's the video game. You fucking turd. She was in Fast and Furious. She was in Resident Speed is the... Oh, that's the video game. You fucking turd. She was in Fast and Furious. She was in Resident Evil.

It's literally the same thing. She's in all the hot action movies. She's hot. She's so hot. She's in all the hot action movies. She's in Triple X. I think. She's the main character.

She isn't Triple X. Okay, I'm not even gonna... She's the main character. So we've got her. Sigourney Weaver. In the role of a lifetime. She is. Talk about a fall from grace. She looks like Annie

Lennox in the 80s. She does look like Annie Lennox. She's kind of like a severe lesbian kind of thing. Someone who like, someone who kind of like lesbian with like a really close cropped haircut who wears a tunic. You know?

Yes. Like the black girl from Pitch Perfect. Someone who literally looks like their job is cutting off dicks. And that's what Sigourney Weaver's job was. Queen. Queen. Angel. It was on point.

Severe man-hating lesbian. We stan. So Sigourney Weaver's job was. Queen. It was kind of on point. Severe man-hating lesbian. We stan. So Sigourney Weaver is in it. Her name is Dr. Rachel Jane. Dr. Rachel Jane. So stupid. Dr. Rachel Jane,

she plays a plastic surgeon who is very high-spirited. Disgraced plastic surgeon. Disgraced plastic surgeon because she is so, she is not solely motivated by the wonders of plastic surgeon. Disgraced plastic surgeon because she is so, she is not solely motivated by the wonders of plastic surgery. She is also,

she uses it as her medium to push forward the possibilities of kind of all these lofty, philosophical notions of art and beauty. No, she wasn't a TERF. No, she loves trans people. She's literally giving people trans for free okay actually she's not a time but she's kind of

i take it back look yeah i personally it's no like her character i think her i thought of her character as a protagonist of the movie she's evil but i thought of her character as a protagonist so the movie is called the assignment it's on netflix um the main character is michelle rodriguez um who the name of this character is frank kitchen um insane what happens to frank so frank is a contract killer a contract killer and also man, we should say that. Frank is a contract killer and man played by Michelle Rodriguez. I'm sure you can kind of guess where this is going. There's a forced transition that happens. Yeah, that's where we all start. The original names of this script, kind of give it away.

It's called, originally known as The Reassignment or tomboy, a revenge's tale. And they were like the reassignments to two on the nose. It kind of gives it away immediately. Just do the, so we start with, so we start with, uh, Michelle Rodriguez,

who is, uh, Frank kitchen. This, this, uh, hit man for the mob, right.

For this undisclosed mob, uh, from Oakland, which is really weird. I don't think there's any mob in Oakland. Not a white mob. She's Puerto Rican. I'd buy

there's a Puerto Rican mob. She has some Spanish speaking lines in the movie. Her accent is pretty on point for that. I'll give her points for that. I think she is. She is sexy. Most movies's it's just like a

some random person they get off the street like some random like yeah yeah they're like oh you're cuban now like all right cool i gotta you know fuck up a cuban accent now so i mean i'll give her props for that but yeah so michelle rodriguez is pranked in this this uh mercenary this this uh hitman for the mob. Contract killer. Contract killer who's tasked with killing somebody, but they tell him, okay, you've got to stay in this hotel room for two weeks. We're not going to tell you why.

Just stay here for a couple of weeks while you wait for the assignment. Sounds above board. Yeah, totally above board. He was $25,000. I would do it. He could put it away wherever. You would do that? Shock would do that.

Someone wants me to wait in their house for four days. You would kill someone. You would absolutely kill someone for money, Jacques. You would totally hit... I wouldn't do that. So she's a maid? So Frank Kitchen, he's employed by Honest John Hartunian, who's part of the Armenian mob, I guess, in Oakland.

And he's like, okay, well, stay here for a little bit. And then, you know, a week passes and Frank Kitchen gets his shit rocked. Frank Kitchen is the kind of guy who like... Man's man, just fucks and leaves him. The way he looks, let's get into the... Yeah, look here. Because, again, it is played by... Black tank top, here because again it is played by black tank top

tucked in played by michelle rodriguez yeah um poorly said with one of the worst fake beers yes ever whoever did hair makeup in this movie deserves to be shot it looks like if you doused a brillo pad in gasoline and lit it on fire and then super glued it to her face. Yeah, it looks like the rough edge of a sponge that's been used in like a... That's been boiled or that's been fried for like... And her male accent was so effeminate. There's no prosthetics.

They don't put like... They could have done prosthetics on her brow to give her a stronger brow. They don't even use a binder she looks and the funny thing about this is Michelle Rodriguez in this character

looks like a trans man yes yes yes yeah right no not even not even

trans men like generally sell it a lot better than Michelle Rodriguez did Michelle Rodriguez she didn't even have more often

a band in your neck that kind of like accentuates your Adam's apple she didn't even have like more often passed better. In your neck that kind of accentuates your Adam's apple. She didn't even cut her hair like in the guy scenes, like in the boy road scenes. And Michelle, if you think of all

that could have been done, I mean, you could have like any amount of CGI. You could have anything. Her voice, so it's just, it's just her

and she's talking. I mean, it's Frank Kitchen. That sounds like she has... So fucking bizarre. Her normal voice and her male voice is completely

effeminate. Yeah. She looks like a transmasc person. Or like a gay guy. Like a really pretty gay guy. But this is supposed to be someone who is a contract killer. Who's feared. The kind of person who lives in a dingy motel room to a dingy motel room that the floor is just littered with cigarette butts and condoms and silencers.

There's a sex scene in this movie. The kind of person who answers the door with a gun silencer. Like screwing that onto their gun. It's the kind of person this is supposed to be. And who answers the door with a gun silencer. Like screwing that onto their gun. Yeah. Is the kind of person this is supposed to be. There's several sex scenes in this movie while Frank Kitchen is boy-moding, I guess. Frank the name Frank Kitchen. Yeah, and this person genuinely doesn't know how to hunt.

Frank Kitchen is what a trans man would call themselves. Trans guys all have names like that. Trans guys are all named like Blunt Force Traumammy janitor tommy janitor exactly or it's like something insane with like eight x's yeah they're all like very like badass like jupiter gypsy yeah that that's for the more like yeah that's for the more like loft like yeah that's more queer than like trans man but yeah but like trans guys are all named like aussie forgiver zenith or uh something very like triple e vendetta yes vendetta the name was triple e vendetta that's the full name. Yeah, Tripoli Vendetta.

So Frank Kitchen gets his shit rocked in the hotel room. Again, yeah, sorry. This is a cis guy who's waiting for... Yeah, this is a cis man. He's waiting for the assignment. Ooh, jinkies. So before he gets his shit rocked in the hotel room, he does go out to a bar.

Oh, yeah, he goes out and fucks someone and he finds he finds himself he finds him a blonde he goes and gets some slits he's the kind he's the kind of guy like I said you know

he goes to a bar no words even spoken he sees a goth girl and they immediately fuck their bones so hard back to the hotel room no words spoken yeah

it is literally a maybe 20 second sex scene sexy yeah they clearly can't do that much i was kind of confused we are treated we are treated to frank um coming out of the bathroom naked we see that so this movie this movie had a five million dollar budget no no way we had a five million dollars yeah that's impossible budget that seems money so unspent you know all of the money went into this 20 second scene where they had to be like okay we need to make michelle rodriguez have a broad barrel hung like super packed chest and and we are gonna do full dick they did full dick and it looked great. Yeah, it was incredible.

Very, very pretty dick. Very amazing. Very suckable. Frank Kitchen is hot. 10 out of 10. The CGI is hot. 10 out of 10 dick. Cock of the year.

Cock of the year. For 2016. You know what? I kind of wish it was real, you know? It's kind of a shame it's fake. Yeah, I would absolutely fuck Frank Kitchen.

I'm going to buy the sex toy. That's in the shape of that dick. And who wouldn't fuck Frank Kitchen? He's very hot. I want a Frank Kitchen. He's like Latino Shaft. Replica dildos coming this summer. So they probably spent around 80% of the budget

on this 20-second cock scene. So they could just be like you know what whatever we showed Michelle Rodriguez with a cock we can just spend $2 on a fake beard at Party City. Right. Yeah. Not even Party City like they went to like Spirit Halloween like when

it was like yeah we have to include the picture. We should include a picture of Michelle Rodriguez as Frank. We should have a pre-transition after the episode. We should have a picture of Michelle Rodriguez as Frank. Yeah. We should have a pre-transition after the episode. We should have a side by side. Frank fucks his goth GF

and is like, oh, babe, I probably won't see you again because I kind of leave town a lot. Like, he's one of those guys. Again, he's just always leaving town.

You better go get some Miami B, you stupid cunt. Literally. Yeah. Literally. Literally, though. And this, the whole, the crux of the movie the question essentially is um a uh of course isn't the director's intent but it's like it's to prove

the theory that like this is a macho man this is a man with a capital M, you know? Yeah. He loves fucking. He loves sucking. He loves killing other people. He's a ruthless motherfucker. Toothless. Just like Copy Shaft or whatever, you know? Or like some of the black exploitation movies. The crux of it is kind of like to reinforce the theory that gender is an identity, you know?

Because it's like, oh, Frank Kitchen, you can still take away Frank Kitchen's dick and he will continue to be a toxic male. Yeah, she says that. We're getting a little out of ourselves. Frank is, he's in his room that is just littered with gun silencers and cigarettes and condoms.

Empty shelves. Also, Frank puts on a condom when he fucks the goth GF. Not believing that one for a second. But he is in this dingy hotel room, kind of like Hunter Biden vibes. And then he has the squad of hit men, associates, whatever, the mob comes, and they just start beating the shit out of him. They beat Frank unconscious and while he's out, they

administer radical sex reassignment surgery. So they kick the shit out of Frank and the next scene is Frank transitioned, waking up in a blur while he has his full face bandaged. reassigned Frank transitioned take waking up in a blur while he had his

bandage he's like what the fuck happened to me yeah and then he so he he looks into he gets up he kind of shakes off his anesthesia the viewer sees Michelle Rodriguez's full naked body yeah full frontal she's in like a bloody hospital gown she's back in another dingy hotel room hot different one um and frank realizes when he looks in the mirror that he has been turned into a woman he cups his boobs um fingers yeah and he has a total meltdown and honestly i just couldn't i'm like what man would have a problem with that yeah you're a hot woman you're

literally literally yeah like you just went from grungy, gross-looking dungeon man to... And honestly, this is an ideal transition. Yes. It's what? Two weeks tops? Yeah. How long could that have taken? Less than that. According to the movie titles, it was supposed to be a week of convalescence. Yeah, four or five days.

Which is impossible, by the way. I know trans people who have gone through that operation. It's totally possible. No, no, no i know so trans people who have gone through that operation it's totally possible no no but like i know trans people who have gone through that operation and you can't like start walking until like the fourth or fifth day and like even then you have to like go on a walker and like be on fucking pain meds so frank got full tits yeah fff facial feminization surgery yeah um and then on top of that, probably did like three years worth of estrogen all in a week.

And vaginoplasty. And vaginoplasty. Your beard suddenly stops growing or whatever. This is like dream transition here. This is like a completely new Playmobil toy. If that happened to me, if I woke up and I looked like that, I would just go become a model.

I would dance the fuck out of that room. I would literally start dancing. I would start dancing. I'd be like, I'm hot. I don't care what gender I am as long as I'm hot. I would love it if they could cure the state of my ugliness through a beautiful transition. Exactly.

Jacques, you should transition into being Michelle. Sign me up. Jacques transition into being Michelle. Sign me up. Jacques transitioning into being a lady. Yeah, that's what I was about to say. This is the story of a place. So he, so Frank, should we refer to Frank as she now? Yeah. I guess the name

is tomboy. Well, Frank still identifies as a man. Frank identifies as a man. Yeah, so let's keep calling him Frank because that's his character. Yeah, Frank or he. Because that's a very pivotal point in the plot, too. You can have a pussy and boobs

and still identify as he, right? So we'll do Frank. That's easier. That's a very pivotal point in the plot later on in the movie. It actually is. Sigourney Weaver explains to her psychiatrist in the mental institution after the fact in a flash forward.

Played by Tony Shalhoub, by the way, which is a great cast. Yeah, the movie is a series of flash forwards and flashbacks. Really confusing. More confusing than this episode. There is Sigourney Weaver, who her scene, she is all in a straight jacket in a mental institution being interviewed by Tony Shalhoub it cuts between the these scenes you may know as me yeah I need some people don't I was like who's this monk fuck yes the OCD detective I'm sorry Lou was such an idol I can't Tony Shalhoub is such an idol I can't Tony Shalhoub also of Mystic Pizza the scenes are between

sorry we're digressing too much here Tony Shalhoub that dick I'm just kidding y'all the scenes are between the mental institution where Sigourney Weaver is in a full straight jacket and Tony Shalhoub is interviewing her trying to to be like, why are you such a freaky bitch? What is going on in your brain?

Which she responds with Shakespeare quotes. And Edgar Allan Poe. Between these and Michelle Rodriguez transitioning and then on her path of vengeance, very bloody, murderous path. Can I make a quick note in the dialogue? Of vengeance to figure out who did this, who cut off her beautiful cock. At this post, there's a point in the post-trans realization where Frank-

Okay, I don't think we're there. I don't think, oh yeah, okay, sorry. Post-trans realization where Frank Kitchen is sitting in the bed, angry, brooding, and a song begins to play, which is the theme song of this movie. Oh yeah, this is- It's the cor bed, angry, brooding, and a song begins to play, which is the theme song of this movie. Oh, yeah. Which is the corniest, horrible, psycho,

like, trans... Yeah, I have the lyrics written right here. I was a boy, devoid of an emotion, undefined and confused. Yeah, a very funny song. Yeah, it was made for the movie. Sounds like a trans after school special theme song.

I mean, really, it was so corny. This movie is the future liberals want for children. Criminals be made women for punishment. I mean, shit, it beats capital punishment but still so absolutely you get you get to become a hot lady yeah that's I

look at shit I'd kill someone just for that you are killing me totally I'm gonna die right now from the bacon and y'all make me laugh that's what we've got to tell all of our if we have any kind of pre-trans or pre-surgery trans people listening find yourself

an insane Sigourney Weaver kind of disgrace. Find Sigourney Weaver, period. Find Sigourney Weaver. Sigourney Weaver's character, she is a disgraced plastic surgeon who moved her business underground.

She has been doing black market. She lost her license because she was doing too many bobo's. Too much experimental. Too many experimental homeless transitioning. She was transitioning the homeless. Her crew of bodyguards

and henchmen were going out and kind of picking up homeless people off the street. And she would transition them. It's like a homeless guy asks you hey brother do you have any change and you're like oh I got some change for you.

I got a change for you. I've got a lot of change for you buddy. Here's the biggest amount of change you'll ever get. Oh yes. So she's disgraced and she's in a mental institution because her biggest amount of change you'll ever get. Sigourney Weaver plays a great villain. She's disgraced and she's in

a mental institution because her underground transition business has been uncovered. At that point, it's like, just go to Thailand. Just go to fucking Thailand. Yeah. You don't need to start a black market trans business in the

United States. She's also like, established as like a very rich woman who could have just moved somewhere else. Why do this here? Very rich. Sorry. Yes. Okay, so where are we? She's super rich and rich enough to move away. Frank Kitchen gets forced transitioned. There are the cut scenes to

I almost said Tilda Swinton. Wrong queen. To Sigourney Weaver oops so what happens after that frank is then um thrown into a kind of gender spiral he doesn't have anywhere to go he doesn't have anyone to turn to so he calls his goth gf no place to post his from the earlier scene she looks like the blonde girl from sisterhood of the traveling pants who plays soccer he can't do he can't do it he's a fundraiser yeah he's replying to every single viral tweet that's like hey y'all i was forced transition can you please help me fund my transition back into a criminal assassin Frank Kitchen.

Yeah. Can you please give me my penis back? So he breaks back into his old dingy hotel room that is currently just, you know, it has been ramshackled. Torn the hell up. Torn the hell up, Jacques. It has been torn the hell up. But luckily enough, his cache of money and phone numbers is still in the vent.

Which I'm like, come on. That's the first place you fucking look. That's the first place you look for. When I got robbed. Why are you slashing open pillows? No one cares. When I got robbed, they opened all the vents. A painting in a safe or in a vent.

They opened all of my vents when I got robbed. And I was like, what the fuck? I don't even know how to open these. Why do you think I'm unscrewing these? Yeah, you, yeah. You motherfuckers. I'm like, if I have weed, I keep it in the fridge. So he calls his goth GF and is like,

babe, can we please meet up? Because he needs a place to stay. Yeah. And he's like, just so you know. I'm not the same like I used to be. I'm going to look a little different. It's going to be a little weird. Some things have changed.

And the goth GF we find out is a nurse who just looks goth on her nights out. She's a nurse. And she is like, okay, babe, got to go. Let's get coffee. And so. Yeah, coffee like our first date or whatever and they they meet up um on her break and the lady walks in the goth gf walks in and sees frank kitchen he's like i shaved my beard and it's sure you just fully assist woman sitting there yeah

it's michelle rodriguez looking exactly like michelle rodriguez like it's and um she's so beautiful she's aged she the goth gf is like i you can stay at my apartment it's fine i'll help you with whatever you need and so then frank um moves in and things are kind of looking pretty normal for a bit he gets an attack dog named poncho um named poncho and starts to um kind of plot his revenge on uh sigourney weaver's henchmen and the mafia he doesn't know sigourney weaver did this to him yet he's kind of just sketching out the chain of command but he's kind of he's getting names he's calling his friends in Miami to figure out. Is that how Latinas pronounce it?

Who knows who, who knows what. Where did my cock go? Where did my beautiful cock go? Who the hell's got my cock? I want it back. Who the fuck has my cock? So yeah, what else happens after that? Can I do one little quote?

You have a quote there, right? Yeah, so she gets the dog and she says, A dog is the only thing I've ever trusted. A dog, it doesn't care if you're poor or famous or a bum. All it wants is to be your buddy. That's a real quote from this fucking movie. Yeah. Again, the whole movie is just an exercise in how the lengths to which a man will go to continue being toxic.

It's also, okay, also, it's a movie made for straight men to understand transitioning. Frank is literally so toxic. Frank is one of the most toxic men. You do not want Frank pitching in your friend group. No. No. He's not in your MySpace. He's not great to have in your group DM.

Yeah. Yeah. He would definitely, he would be canceled He's not part of the Soap Pod. Oh, also, I just remembered this.

When Frank was getting the transition surgery done to him, they had a little montage and they were like removing organs. Oh, yeah. It was like a bowl

with like a spleen in it. I was like, what the fuck? You don't need to like, yeah. It was like a bowl with like a spleen in it. I was like, what the fuck? You don't need to like... It was supposed to be like super experimental surgery. I think that was part of it, you know? We're taking out your kidneys. There's also pinned to the wall above his bed a Post-it note that says,

never more, never more. Oh, yeah. That was so on the nose. With a picture of him pre-transition. Yeah. Pre and post. So, Max, do you want to pick it back up for us? Yes.

So, meanwhile, while this is all happening in the movie, we're also getting a lot of flash forwards. Sigourney Weaver has been apprehended and brought to justice, and she's in a mental asylum. For being too woke. For doing queer practices. For being too woke, doing for being too woke exactly for for queering uh frank for literally for freeing the binary yeah for freeing the

binary and so she's being uh like judith interviewed by found dead she's being interviewed by tonal shalhoub and uh you know he's asking her all these questions like oh why did you do this and like who's this frank kitchen character and? And she's just answering with Shakespeare quotes. Yeah, she's like answering with Shakespeare quotes. Which is insane. She is like, if the Joker was PMC. Totally. Yeah, she's PMC woke Joker.

My God. Which is why I thought her character was so great. At one point, she even quotes Goodnight Moon. Yeah, she quotes Goodnight Moon, and she says fuck you after. Yeah, she goes, Goodnight Moon and go fuck yourself. I'm sorry, did you do any more cook in the 80s, lady?

I know. Look, Sigourney Weaver is a great villain in this movie, but nothing is going to compare to her in Working Girl, where she is the ultimate... Well, let's not... No, Chuck. We are not describing another movie. We are 40 minutes in.

Let's describe the genesis here. The beef between Sigourney Weaver and Frank is Sigourney Weaver has a... She's the success daughter of her family. She has a yeah who is a kind of like errant rich kid yeah played by felix peterman by the way first film role addicted addicted to coke

and got um just got a little too wacky with it yeah something like the wrong people uh a lot of money and so frank Frank Kitchen was contracted to kill him yeah Sigourney Weaver is pissed that Frank killed her brother

and she chalks up this kind of violence to something inherent in masculinity yeah right so she tries to do

it's kind of like the Joker but also like the it's more like the Jigsaw from the Saw movie franchise oh yeah yeah yeah where it's like all like an experiment it's kind of like the Joker but also like the, it's more like the Jigsaw from the Saw movie franchise. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Where it's like all an experiment. It's all a twisted experiment. It's an experiment meant to take

someone's kind of like vice away from them to show them a new path. Like when Frank wakes up. Oh, that's so sweet. When Frank, well not really. I'm just torturing. When Frank wakes up after the transition, there is a tape recorder in the room

of Sigourney Weaver speaking, and she basically spells it all out. And she's like, you're a woman now. I did an amazing job on you. You're serving cunt-hunty. You look amazing. Baby, your shit is so tight. Your shit is yanking right now.

I gave you the tightest pussy. I gave you the most natural looking breasts. Your FFS is satch. Yes, Kamala. You are serving. And she's just like, and she gives him money.

She's like, you can do all of this with your new life. This is a chance for a second life. And Frank immediately starts screaming and throwing things around the room. He does a complete Rain Man to interrupt in the hotel room. Why am I a hot woman? And so that's the beef.

So we can get to kind of Frank's... Frank figures out the chain of command here, who he needs to kill and why he needs to kill them. But before he starts enacting his revenge, he kind of has one last-ditch effort to see if there's a way he can do this without killing maybe 20 people. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

At this point, he just wants his beautiful 8-inch... He just wants his cock back. His beautiful cock back. Yeah, his beautiful 8-inch. Just give me my cock back please yes very nice and so he is um at this point fully living with the goth gf she i guess knows that it's very blurry like he's living with the goth nurse gf they never really bring up the fact that um this guy that she had sex with when he was a cis man now has poops in the vagina so it'll really address eventually in the

movie like it'll suddenly make sense as to like why the nurse wasn't freaked out it's clearly something's happening they do a very bad job of surprising you later in the movie for a plot twist. So, yeah, they have some sex scenes, but anyways, Frank figures out

the chain of command. Before he does that, he consults a doctor because he has some pressing questions because, again, he just wants... Hey, Doc,

how do I piss with this thing? I just want to be a dude again. I hate sitting down to take this thing i just want to be a dude again i hate i miss being a dude i miss my car basically what he says to this doctor he he appeals to the doctor give him a detransition yeah like and the doctor is just like bro you're never gonna nut yeah like the doctor kind of like lays it out like generally, like, who did you go and get this sex change from? Where did you get this surgery? Usually, like, it's...

You have a year waiting period for a reason. The work you've had done is amazing. Yeah. Yeah, this is first-rate work. Like, where'd you go? Like, that you didn't have to wait for... And Frank says, I don't... Frank says, I don't remember the surgery.

I don't remember the surgeon. The doctor is completely unfazed by it. He's like, yeah, you know what? Okay, the prognosis here is that you're never going to have a functioning male penis ever again. He's like, just become a model. You're hot. Literally, just go become an Instagram body. Go to Hollywood and start a fast and furious movies bitch literally

it's so marry the future democratic president of the United States okay also yeah very kind of the other Michelle did this

and did this very well like go date Cory Booker yeah exactly exactly I forget that she does that go be Cory Booker's beard honey

what are you thinking stop trying to kill people. You don't need to kill people anymore. You're a hot woman. It's so unnecessary. The tables have turned. You can run the fucking world. Yeah.

Honestly, objectively, you have more power as a Puerto Rican baddie than you do a low-life criminal assassin. Who runs the world? Puerto Rican baddies. Girls. Motherfucker. No, Puerto Rican baddies in particular. It's so easy. And this is why I think Sigourney Weaver is the protagonist of thedies. Girls. Motherfucker. No, Puerto Rican baddies in particular. It's so easy. And this is why I think

Sigourney Weaver is the protagonist of the movie. Yeah. Because, look, she's a total sicko, but did she do anything? She didn't hurt Frank. Mm-mm.

She helped Frank. Absolutely. She lifted Frank up out of poverty. So true. She tried to. So true. She tried to.

Oh, my God. She tried to make him a better man by making him a woman. The doctor the doctor is just like bro you're not gonna you're never gonna nut again i'm sorry it would take like a year for your dick to be back and even then you probably wouldn't have much like best case scenario you're gonna be retweeted by sweet palma on instagram and freak out like all six 000 of us uh the doctor says at one point he's like you're still a you know a more beautiful waitress kind of type he says something like calling her a wait you look like a waitress you're a waitress kind of type you're to that he just means cis passing woman yeah exactly you look like somebody who should be working for me. So because Frank has now been told he will never be reunited with his dick,

he is just like, well, you know, I've still got this thing. And he pulls out his gun, literally. Not in the doctor's office, but there's a cutaway where he's like, I've lost so much in my life. All I have is my dog in this. And he pulls out this this giant like handgun a handgun with a silencer which he keeps strapped between his belt

like sticking out so he keeps it right as a phallic you know it's very okay peaches we get it you have penis envy like grow up yeah it's very like join the fucking club yeah so

Frank is fully decided to be toxic instead of embracing his femininity massive massive mistake and so he then goes and he gets the deets on who did this to him and

he just kills maybe 20 people yeah he calls one of Sigourney Weaver's henchmen. Oh, wait, wait, wait. Yeah, no. He goes to see these guys in the mob. Yes. And he interrogates this guy. He goes to the mob to get the story

because obviously the person who gave him the original job at the beginning of the movie had something to do with it. It was obviously a setup of some sort. So he goes to the mob to figure out who stole his cock and he ties up the mob boss after killing like yeah again like maybe 12 men he ties up the mob boss and the mob boss

tells him that his goth gf knows yeah because the goth gf has been up to some kind of weird medical stuff. No, no, no. On top of being a nurse. And so then he goes home and he talks to his goth GF and he's like, babe, what is going on?

He puts the gun on the table. And she is clearly, you know, she's put on the spot. She doesn't have an answer she lays it out for him and just says you know I have been stealing trans research chemicals for the Sigourney Weaver

I've been stealing boob implants from the hospital I work at the boobs that have been attached to your body I stole from the hospital and gave them to Sigourney We them to put them in you as revenge and he

again continues to be toxic continues to be a male continues to prove a theory of gender identity he's still a man look he's being betrayed by women what is being more of a man than being betrayed by a woman absolutely he then fantasizes about killing her he doesn't yeah but instead of killing

her he just throws things all over the apartment so he's really not he can he is obsessed with being toxic and so she the, tells him who to call. And so then he calls Sigourney Weaver's henchman now that he has the, you know, the number. He has the tip-off. And so he calls them as a woman, assuming that, like, he'll be able to get back in there or something, like, as someone who wants, like,

transition surgery, because, again, Sigourney Weaver is still doing these transition surgeries to make money at the time. And he shows up at the literally the underground trance facility in an abandoned like looking mansion. Like an abandoned subway line. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Like in a fucking bunker or something and so he shows up there and the henchmen know what is up they're like you thought we'd fall for your trick um we we know it's you and then they immediately like get into a fight um and they then bring Frankie, Frank,

to the operating room and they tell him that Sigourney Weaver is going to cut off his arms because he's still continuing to be toxic. Yeah. He's still continuing to be toxic. He's still continuing to be violent and murderous and so Frankie pulls out maybe this is the moment in which frank realizes that

he can use his femininity as a weapon and so he shows all of them his pussy he's literally like how did i miss that that you haven't seen one of these that you didn't pay for. Yeah. So next position, one of the henchmen is like, everyone in that organization is apparently barred from practicing medicine.

I guess apparently never seen a pussy before. No, no, no. They explain this a little bit in the movie, but it's super offhand. The henchman, the chief henchman,

is an ex-n was uh that had his license taken away he's a male nurse hey why would you care about no no no no i mean he's a male nurse that had been uh like had his license taken away because he like had a rape charge in the 90s or whatever and had been like with security ever since and and apparently the word on the street and word from the mafia was that this guy was like like into beating up whores or whatever like whoa yeah like uh but he got his super off what movie was i watching he got his male nurse license taken away because he wasn't gay yeah exactly it's too confusing for the patients when he was sexually assaulted clinton did I miss all of this? When Clinton started with affirmative action

and suddenly all the male nurses had to be faggots. I must have been watching a different movie. So anyways, Michelle Rodriguez shows, or Frankie shows them his pussy and uses the moment of intrigue to slap the gun out of someone's hand.

And then like shoot five people. One guy runs away. She shoots him. And then she finds herself. Um, she goes through this kind of like labyrinth of room. She finds herself in the operating room. And so Gordney Weaver is just there just straight chilling.

And, um, Frankie, you know, this is the evil mind that it's the meeting of the minds right the climax and frankie is on the table and he's like you're lucky i don't have any bullets and sigourney weaver um pleads for her life she's just like look you know i'm sorry that i made you a beautiful woman or whatever. Like, can we just leave that?

Yeah, I was trying to prove a point. I was trying to prove a point. You clearly are not interested. You clearly don't want to stop being toxic. You don't want to go star in the Fast and Furious movies, even though you are literally the perfect person to be. The guess my ethnicity flag girl that signals the races. I'm literally putting a career path out here for you. You're not fighting.

C-cup Latina with perfect perky titties. You're literally just obsessed with being a toxic stand. I've been masked up on a silver platter. You don't... You choose to be toxic. This is why Max could be strange. He's got a titty type. She's just like, you know... I'm just going to measure it. I don't and you choose to be toxic this is why max could be straight he's got a titty type

she's just like you know you don't i'm just gonna measuring i don't know you don't have a bullet to shoot me with let's just let's let this go and then um in a classic kind of like pulpy like uh action yeah movie thing um frank Frankie is like, oh, that's what you thought. And he pulls a bullet out of his high heel. Yeah. No, Frankie takes like 30 seconds to take off the air shoe, right?

But his like eight inch platform chunky heel that he hit a bullet in. Last scene, by the way. His like eight inch platform chunky heel. Which he was not wearing in the last scene, by the way. And he was not running in in the last scene. I know. So, but this is it. I mean, you know, he found out how to weaponize his femininity. Yeah. And hide a bullet in his high heel.

You go, girl. And I'm like, why shouldn't it? It should have been in his pussy. Yeah. Nature's pocket. Absolutely. Couldn't it go off? have been in his pussy. Yeah. Nature's pocket. Absolutely. Couldn't it go off? It's up there or something?

I don't know. It's just a bullet. It's a heat. It's an entire gun. I don't know. The heat in there just set it off. The bullets aren't hot. No, but the pussy is.

Oh, you mean the heat from the vagina is fine. It would spark anything. Spark the gunpowder. Whoa, okay. I mean, worst case scenario, you get like lead poisoning from the bullet itself. Yeah. Anyways, it was in the shoe

and then he- I would put a bullet in my pussy, but keep going. So then Frankie, Frank, shoots Sigourney Weaver in the chest.

Yeah. And then like cleans up the scene to make it look like it was the evil henchman who shot everyone up and like disappears into the night.

Yeah, he wipes his fingerprints. She wipes her- I don't know. Yeah, no. They, them. He wipes- Yeah. They, wipes her i don't know yeah no yeah they that i don't know but i was also like what are they gonna what are they gonna like they've already turned they've already given frank boobs pussy and ffs like when they were in the operating room like what are they gonna do to him are they gonna they were gonna chop off her sex now they're gonna chop off her they're going to make him non-binary no no they were gonna chop off intersex now? They were going to chop off her arms, I think. No, no, no. They were going to

chop off their arms and give them flippers instead. That was the other thing. Because Sigourney Weaver doesn't just do sex change operations or bottom search

or whatever. She should have just been like, we're going to make you into a different Latina. Yeah, exactly. We're going to make you Cuban. We're going to make you into Sofia Varaga or whatever to make you into Sofia Varaga

or whatever her name is. Sofia Vergara, queen. We have the technology to clone Selena. I would rather Okay. We have the technology to clone Selena. We're bringing back Selena. We're bringing Selena back from the dead.

2021, bring Selena back or this earth can't function okay so what happens uh so after this like we get into kind of an epilogue and this is all like kind of out of order anyway so frank like um frank makes the whole crime scene look as if it was a bunch of like weird infighting and that they all killed each other and that he wasn't involved and and tells his story like uh to a webcam after the fact and is like yes this is a tape that i'm gonna give to my to my lawyer and he's gonna put it on ice in which okay in which he says frank kitchen is it my real name yeah it's a fake name like of course and the whole time Sigourney Weaver has been, like earlier in the movie, was obsessed with finding out who Frank Kitchen was,

which is why Tony Shalhoub thought she was insane. Yeah, Tony Shalhoub thinks that she's making up Frank Kitchen the whole time. Tony Shalhoub was like, Frank Kitchen doesn't exist. We've done FBI profiles on Frank Kitchen. We have scoured the tax. I'm pretty OCD when I did all my detective work. Frank Kitchen does not exist.

No records in Ellis Island or whatever. Of course, someone named Frank Kitchen doesn't... Of course, that's literally a fake name. And Sigourney Weaver, for all of her intellect... Yeah, my name is Bob Lamb. Yeah. The name's Tony Zeppelin. My name is Chaz Bono.

Yeah, my name's Sonny Bono. I fucking hate Chaz Bono. Yeah, my name's Sonny Bono. I fucking hate Chaz Bono. Okay, let's keep going. It's Chaz Bono. I hate veterans. I hate Chaz Bono. All right. Is Chaz Bono a veteran?

I think so. You mean you're just both? I just don't. That person always means. Anyway, so while Frank Kitchen is delivering that, the camera cuts to Sigourney Weaver, Dr. Rachel Jane being in a deposition, right? That she asked for. She attacked Tony Shalhoub earlier and she realized that she couldn't really...

Her case is not... Yeah, her case is fucked. She can't do anything at this point. You're going to jail, bitch. Yeah, she's going to jail forever. For being too woke. Yeah, for... For For being too woke. Yeah, for,

for being way too woke. Yeah, for having a big grabby. Criminally, criminally woke. Yeah, which is a real thing, by the way.

So, yeah, like she, she goes to a deposition and she's like, yeah, I did it. She basically confesses.

I did all that. And people are like, oh, you confessed it. homeless people. Yes, I forced you to. No, she doesn't. She doesn't. She basically confesses. I did all that. And people are like, oh, you confessed to... Yes, I forced transition homeless people. Yes, I forced transition Frank Kitchen. No, she doesn't. She doesn't.

She's like, I don't confess to any of that. I confess to trying to find out who Frank Kitchen really was. Oh, yeah, because she tries to use her deposition to bring whoever Frank Kitchen is to light. Yeah, yeah. And then, yeah, I want to leave a record that this person really was real and they really killed my brother. And, like, and then, like, people start asking questions. He's like, I'm not going to answer any questions. And then they meet her back in the room.

So, yeah, like, that's basically the end of the movie. But are we forgetting the big reveal? No, no, no. You're forgetting one very pivotal part. Yes. So the last scene okay the last scene all of that happened. The last scene is Sigourney

Weaver in a bathtub in the mental institution. Yeah. And all of her fingers have been removed. Come on. Come on Jock. Yes. Thank you Jock. She's taking I'm sorry you completely took all the momentumock. She's taking I'm sorry.

You completely took all the momentum out of that, though. I'm just as excited because it was a funny scene to me. That's what happened. She gets out of the bathtub and her fingers are nubs. Yeah, she only has her thumbs left, which is really funny that she thinks that

my case is completely gone because she like hit Tony Shalhoub with her nubs. Like come on lady. I know yeah literally. You still have a fucking buddy. So you know clearly you know. Call Alan Dershowitz. Frank did a little work of his own.

This is the third time Alan Dershowitz has come up today. And then the last the last line of the movie is Frank saying, I used to be a guy, a real bad guy. Then things changed. Now we look at the cards that got dealt in a different way. One thing's for sure, change is going to come.

Which makes no sense. Yeah, when you said a change is going to come, I was like, okay, Obama. It's such a bizarre game. I want whatever ecstasy the screenwriter was on when they wrote this. Wasn't that Obama's quote? For real. Wasn't that Obama's campaign quote?

Yes. Yeah, shock. There will be a great change or something like that? Okay, so thank you guys for listening to this. The movie's called The Assignment. Don't watch it. Unless you really, really want to. It's a funny, very, very bizarre movie.

Actually, no, yeah. You know what? I did like it, but it's really hard to recommend. It'd be a fun movie to watch with friends. It's very bizarre. It's a fun movie. There's nudity. If you guys had to transition into any Latino,

what Latino would it be? Me, personally? Yes, the two people I'm talking to right now. I don't know. There might be someone else in your bedroom. Usually is. Okay, so I'm thinking Jennifer Lopez off the top of my head. J-Lo's good, but she's already transitioned into being Jennifer Lopez

from being whoever she was before she became Jennifer Lopez. Jenny from the block. Yeah, yeah. Jennifer Lopez is more of a concept. Okay. Oh, my God. Okay. What other answer do you want?

I don't know. It's a hard one. Yeah. Selena, maybe. Selena, definitely. I mean, it's really hard to beat Selena in terms of like hot Latinas. You know, she was a prototype. Penelope Cruz.

I would love to be penelope cruz and then i could have starred in gothica which is a dream of mine gothica is one of my lifelong dream to start gothica has already been made gothica is one of my all-time favorite movies max i really can't think latina max's of one. Selena was my number one. I can think of a different one. I like Sofia Vergara. Yeah, Sofia Vergara is definitely, you can't go wrong with that. She's so funny.

I feel like there's someone on the tip of my head, and I was going to say Ariana Grande. The tip of your head. But she's not Latino. Ariana Grande is mine. She's not Latino. All right, well, next time you listen to this episode, everyone, we will all sound exactly like Ariana Grande

because we would have transitioned. So true. Bye, everyone. Bye, everyone. Have a good evening. Have a good Kamala. A boy devoid of an emotion Undefined and confused I was a boy, no idle conversation

Left me broken into Terrible sun Broken into terrible sun Burned in my eyes Blinded in awkward disguise Brutal and born in the wake of the knife Pushing and pulling my strife I was a boy, a savage Born to ravage At war with everything true I was a boy, the streets were Made of fire Power to hurt someone new Thank you. Fistful of gun and a price on my head

Making my marks in the sand