Seeking Derangements - SD 427 - Interrupting the Mainframe of TV Society

Episode Date: August 10, 2025

It's Seeking Sunday! Ben here, today Hesse and I help Jacques audition for Big Brother which we think he will get despite not meeting about half of the eligibility requirements. Then we get to your calls and discuss how to hit on trans women, how to convince your BPD friend to undergo a procedure which freezes their flight or fight response, and what to do post small town cancellation.

The U.S. We're going to be able to be able to be able to be able to start off. I hope you're going to be able to start off. Somebrose Somebrose Somebron Frombruscav I've got from

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I've got to pass I want I'm Hello everyone, welcome to Seeking Derangements. It's Ben. This is a free episode. So if you like what you hear, go subscribe to our Patreon.

It's patreon.com slash seeking derangements for our entire back catalog and weekly bonus episodes. Jock and Hessa are here with me. Today, as usual, hello, divas. Hello. Bonjour. Bonjour. Bonjour, madame. How are you doing today?

No. Bonjour? No. bongerno is that what they say in italian yeah mm-hmm well they say chow you can see you could speak italian hessa no not really i didn't think they let women do that for for the record i am extremely hung over this morning my sister is getting married um we had an engagement party at my house last night it was fun though i'm sure right

yeah it was a lot of fun we were doing a bunch of shots of hennessee and then went to her place for an after party and i got i got i got shawah wasted. But it's so fun getting, like, wasted with your family. Yeah, absolutely. Everyone was doing shots of Hennessy last night. Hennessy is like a hangover nightmare. It's kind of sweet. It's not that bad. It is too sweet for me. And, of course, you know, the more sugar you have while you drink, the more dehydrated you get, and blah, blah, blah, blah, all of that. But I woke up and I ate a cookie because I'm like, uh, uh, you sound kind of cool.

I've never heard you openly talk about eating sweets as soon as you wake up. Are you happy with, you're happy with me because I ate a, Wow. I feel more connected. I feel so close to you right now. Yeah. I mean, I should have, fuck, I wanted to get a beer for the recording. Do you guys mind if I go get a beer?

Yeah, go get a beer. Girl, I'm going to take a little dibby down. So, Hessa, as you know, I have been just freefallen with this body of mine, you know? And I went and got, I just, I don't even know how to live a normal day lately. You know what time I woke up yesterday? What time? 7 p.m. That's crazy,

you gotta just get your sleep schedule back lined up, you know? Oh, I know. And then I go to dinner at 9 o'clock to go get a steak. And I ask for the steak to be medium rare. It's a place I go all the time. Now, I ate the whole steak. It was so good, but have you ever gotten a steak where the whole outside was black

and it was just medium instead of medium rare? I guess I've gotten a medium steak before I just was devastated Yeah did you make a scene No I didn't even say anything I saw I saw a TikTok of you yelling at a sandwich The other day too Okay that was a different story

I haven't I can give this restaurant some grace Because I've only been going there for two years I guess What do you mean the longer you've been going to a place The less grace you give them I've been going to old time grocery for 20 years and they've had a serious consistency except in the last two years and the po-boy are you talking about your bowel movements no serious consistency in the past years i'm back bitch like papa eating spinach what jock i can hear you please can we take turn speaking

today please please what did you want to tell me honey mr hungover I was talking about old-time grocery and how I got a po-boy that it was wider than your shirt, the bread. Like, it was not fully baked. Oh, I saw you absolutely freaking out on Instagram because the bread wasn't cooked. For the record, it did look gross. Yeah, it did look soggy to me. It looked like, it was soggy and gross. But I kind of feel like that I don't know at what point the sandwich became soggy.

Yeah. No, no, no, no. I got it. I got it. I went home, it immediately opened it, ruined. But I'll tell you all this. Oh, fuck, I forgot a bottle opener. Oh, you guys want to see something cool?

Yeah. I can open this. I can open a beer with my phone. If he does it with his phone and breaks and I'm going to laugh so hard. No, it's already broken, Diva. It would be really funny. I just try. Oh.

That was a good sound. Look what else I got drunk. Oh, That should be your If you were a buddy cop movie Where you're Cookie and beer Coffee and Beer

But they would call it Cookie in the beer Cookie and the beer yeah And it's a beautiful You better get down from that ladder And help us It's a beautiful It's a beautiful black woman

And a 450 pound German man Tonia cookie I am the beer Right I would love to watch that movie So you might find this funny Do you remember the movie

Starsky and Hutch with Ben Wilson? Yeah So I was I went to see that movie when I was like 12 And it was me and my friend And Like

An hour into the movie I was like this is a really strange detective movie or like buddy cop movie because I haven't seen Owen Wilson. I haven't seen any men. It's just been the Olson twins the whole time. I was like, what is this movie? And then I realized I was watching the Olson twins movie New York Minute. Oh, I love that movie. And I was just like so stupid. I thought you were watching the Starsky. I thought I was watching Starsky and Hutch and I was like, huh? Do they like, where's Van Stiller? Yeah, do they like show up in the last five minutes?

They're only in it for five minutes. This is Starzky. I was like, I wasn't, I was 12. I was completely like sober, of course. Yeah. I've been, I'm so stupid. Like, it's so stupid to think that. Why is Ben Stein following them around? Right.

Yes. Right. No, I literally was like, are they going to die? Like, and then their death gets investigated. What happened? Did you stay and watch the whole movie? Um, yeah, at that point I was like, well, yes, got to stay. Those awesome twins.

They made a lot of money back then, you know? They did like 20- They're really cool now. Yeah, they're so sick. Their brand is just called the row. Yeah, I have a few outfits from it. Oh, really? See, I like the whole idea of their like a quiet,

I like the idea of a quiet luxury brand. They apparently invented this quiet luxury. I'm putting air quotes between quiet luxury. Yeah, because you think they stole it from Tel-Far in the first ever quiet luxury. ever say no did i didn't even say that i know i think the i think the row might have formed before uh tell far yes i would imagine so anyways today guys we um are going to get to your calls oh no telfar was first okay um it's like the coughing is so i can i can hear the force with which you

spit it out it seems painful but anyways today we are my lungs ain't hurting let me just tell you that much a little update is just these damn kidneys of mine what do you call the spot right to the right of your nut right above your genitals um your thigh no groin like right above like your mon's pubis yeah it's around the mon's pubis that i'm feeling my mom's pubis your mom's pubis Mops, pubis, shut up. Don't you talk about my mama like that. You love my mom. I do love your mom. Anyways, today we are going to get to some of your calls, as promised. But before then, I saw that Big Brother is casting. And I, okay, I've always wanted to get on a reality show. My number one reality show that I want to get on listeners will remember is Survivor. I would really love to get on Survivor. And just be so fucking easy. evil, I would love to be on Survivor. Is Survivor still on TV? Yeah.

Yeah, it's like the longest running reality show. I think it's like season 50 or something crazy. So can I give a little background on Big Brother and Survivor? Yeah, because I've never seen Big Brother. I don't know what it is. So let's start from the beginning. Big Brother and Survivor came out at a time where there was a huge renaissance of Swedish TV shows and like European reality.

TV shows being remade in the U.S. Particularly, Big Brother started actually in Dutchland, and the concept of the show... Which is Germany, or do you mean the Netherlands? I only watched the video once, let's just keep going. Okay, he means Dutchland, bitch.

Fuck you. Okay, Jack, keep going. Okay, so the original premise of the show was going to be a year long. They all had to live with each other, and they were going to be voted off by audience or by like people calling in or like the audience. Can they leave the house? Are they allowed to leave or do they have to stay in the house at all times?

They have to stay in the house and there's no connection to the outside, no TVs. That's why you get that famous clip of Tiffany Pollard finding out that David Bowie is dead. Oh, my God. It's so classic. For context of that, David Bowie's ex-wife is in the Big Brother group as well. So it's like. Yes. And she tells Tiffany Pollard that

David, David is dead Oh my God And she clearly had no clue who he was The first season of the American Big Brother followed the The original idea And by the way, when they do it in Dutchland or wherever They're only able to do it for 120 days

But that's still like a shit ton of time That's a long time, yeah So the American version is only three months long and the first season they're they're letting people vote off like instead of um instead of survivor style they're letting the audience members and people call in to vote off the house and they um don't vote each other off the audience so much do they do like challenges well yes yes but they move on to the second season to make it so that they're voting out each other and by this point on things get pretty crazy because by

the end of season two, they had to make it a official rule to ban knives from ever appearing in the Big Brother show. So it's literally just becoming an insane asylum. It's like giving them like rubber scissors. So on season two, they hire this guy that they didn't really do a good enough background check. He's constantly like violently threatening people. He almost starts a fight. He's just being really crazy. There's a scene where he's flirting with a drunk girl in the kitchen. And then he's like, what if I fucking killed you right now and then he pulls out a knife puts it to her throat and says

what if I fucking killed you right now and the girl is laughing but I mean it's very disturbing so what are the rules of the game I mean thank you for the rundown but I think to just move it along into the application process the rules of the game are basically what I said you are

vying for audience affection so they don't vote you off but you don't know how the audience is reacting because you're in a vacuum, you're completely siloed. And then I think it's called a Big Brother because they have... Orwellian reference. Yes, they have a... Big Brother's watching.

A kind of all-controlling host who's, like, voiced by a robot who, like, is like, this week, there's, like, no shoes or something. Yeah. We can wear shoes this week, I think. Jacques, anyway. Jacques pazing around. I'm sorry. Punching the wall.

It's like, this week, you have to wear shoes. Chuck is like, I'm out of here This week you have to take a shower Oh yeah, well There's the first time in a reality show Where people's hygiene is coming into question Which is kind of like a crazy concept You know?

I remember one where they like made someone Like be in a box for like six days or something It seems really crazy That's I wait is this the one with Jojo and uh Yes Jojo and Mick York famously on Big Brother Was on Celebrity Big Brother Britain I would like

love. I think I really excel in kind of contained environments like that where there's a clear objective. I think that's where I really, really unleash something, something evil and competitive. How long would you stay in the house if I was there? I would win. Yeah, you would I think, Doc, I think you would probably leave before. Men would if you were in there. You can't smoke weed in there. I mean, okay. There's weed pills. It's fine. I can be discreet.

Jacques, I could see you winning. I could see you winning unless, by the way, who's Pete Burns? Who the fuck? You said, Pete Burns. I just said, okay, great, because I didn't. I also did it, no work care. Pete Burns, the lead singer of Dead or alive. I've never even heard of that band before

my entire life. Okay, you spin me round and round. You really don't know when I'm talking about. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I do. The Trans guy. Does it annoy you when people eat a cookie like this? Like piece by piece? Yeah, because you're not, it's like, it's like you're being fat shaming to yourself that you're only allowing yourself tiny little bites of sugar at a time.

Instead of taking one, you don't want to hold dopamine. If you eat it piece by piece, it's like, it's like you're having 10 cookies. This is why I could, this is also in the same way that you eat a cookie, you wouldn't do a whole line, you would just do a bump. And I find that annoying too. Yeah, well, I find it annoying that grow up. Just do a whole line at once, you know? Like, Mama, you don't need to just do a bumpy.

You don't do lines. When I did do lines, I did lines, not bumps. So when you act like a, like, a retired, like, football player when you talk about, when you used to drink. I was the best dad. I had to quit because I was so good. I could have gotten pro. I could have gone pro. If it wasn't for my mercer.

My butt injury. Y'all, shut up. Y'all just don't even. If it wasn't for that tail, I started pro and I wouldn't, I would become. I'm just saying. People think I'm wild now, y'all could not fathom me drinking on drugs, being like, you know, there's times it took 25 hits at 2C.I. I remember. I know.

You were there. You were there. Don't act like you were there. Can they drink? Can they drink in Big Brother? Yes. Okay. That's good.

Yes. They get twisted, I think. Oh, my God. Anyways, let's get started. Because, I mean, I do genuinely want to apply. I'll probably apply off the air. But I think Jock, you might be. good person for us to, you know, maybe we can write right into them together. There is this

guy, I was looking at the official submission page on CBS or whatever the fuck it is, and they link to this YouTube video with this gay guy who is going to tell us how. I know, isn't he like disgusting? It is literally like, oh, God. Just giant gay horse teeth. Jesse Tannenbaum is such a good god it's like this is one of those jobs that only gay men have which is like you're a talking head on a major network

but you are so low ranking yeah you're on the other website you're on an external link on a website telling people making like seven minute videos talking about how to yeah not even on the official not even on the official CBS or Big Brother

his own YouTube page but it's a six minute video we're not gonna I can't I don't think I can stand to hear this minute talk you think he's lying and he's not actually the the casting director oh he's a casting director I see I didn't read that title oh no he looks like he'd be a casting director for sure anyways let's see what he has to say hello my name is jesse tannbaum and I'm the casting director of big brother if you're watching this video you're about to submit an application for our next season so I want to give you a couple pointers on what we look for some do's and don'ts.

So you do well through this process, okay? So the first thing I'll say is actually... Okay, can we pause real quick? Absolutely. Ben, you're fucked. If this is the guy who's choosing. Oh, my God. I didn't even think about that.

Jesus Christ. You're fucked. He has not let me on. I don't know. Give it a chide, Ben. You don't know. You don't know. He is not letting me on.

Ben, you are great at manipulating. gay people. Why couldn't you manipulate this guy? I'm great. I'm manipulating gay people when they don't Google my name. Or try to familiarize themselves with any of my digital footprint, which is exceedingly homophobic. Yeah, it's like rock paper scissors with Ben. Like he's paper

and this is like the scissors. This type of gay guy. We can't get on a reality TV show because of what we've said on seeking. I mean they might look into that. Probably. I think it depends. It depends.

on who they're listening to. I think they could maybe cast you because they're like, okay, we need a psycho who's going to be voted off immediately. Yes, we need a villain. You're so kind. We need a sacrificial lamb. I always feel so bad for people who get voted off in like the first

like Project Runway is coming back. I was a huge project runway fan. Oh, me too. I've seen every single season. Same. And I feel so bad when they vote the first person off because it's just like, you've told you your entire family I'm going on Project Runway

and then you come back in like a week I just that would be so crushing that fucking sucks the sad things is probably you've probably been there for two weeks already yeah just getting ready for the show and then you're there for only a week of actual filming

let's let this stupid faggot Jesse keep yapping hey hey it's not the best thing in the world whatsoever when we're constantly seeing a TikTok video a five-second TikTok or, you know, a video of you working out, not talking to the camera, or dancing, or playing with your puppy outside. That does nothing.

He's like, I want full cock videos. Yeah. None of this dancing on TikTok. I want to see your bubble. Okay, because unless there's something really intriguing or interesting in your bio or something about you, we're most likely going to click next and watch the next video because it's very time to do for us. He's such a bitch.

Yeah. He's like, click next. His gay index. finger went out. Click next. Click next. I'm just imagining him with like a giant iPad, like drinking a martini and just be so vicious. Click next. Next. Replying, faggot on one of the videos. Fad. Fad. Take the effort to call someone and get to know them. We want to go off of their audition video, ideally. So once again, have we called people with really short videos before, yes, in the past we have, but there's got to be something in there that

catches our eye in the bio. So if you want to put your best foot forward, make an actual audition video. Now, listen, I totally understand our website. It could be a little confusing for people that aren't computer savvy like myself. I would need help. Okay, girl, it's the CBS website. It's not that difficult. I really would. It's like 90-year-old. I'm not applying for Big Brother. Okay, so what I'm gathering, Jock, is that it's best to make an audition video and we're recording video right now i'll save this video of you and send it in but let's i want to see what other tips he has reduce the file size so some of these people that submit really short videos might have made a real one and then they

try to submit it and the file size is too large and they get frustrated rightfully so you can't it's possible okay so just don't give up and actually submit on an audition video because it will give you the best shot of getting a callback um a couple other things uh you know definitely don't use any filters you know lots of phones now have filters when you can make yourself look is to um ideally if you could film it horizontal that's great if it's vertical no big deal but okay so this entire video is just teaching people how to film it yeah yeah it's just like you're 90 this packet can kill himself okay jock i think we should make a video for you what do you think yeah but i would want to like actually get dressed and like make it outside of just this i mean

i thought we were why don't we do it why don't we do a test we can do a test video for your real video yeah yeah yeah we can give you we can give you live feedback on it okay i want to try shot okay i'm ready now period all right how about this we can go through i i'll give you a little bit more help here they have um i i didn't know help they have eligibility they have eligibility requirements. I don't even need to hear those to know. Well, you might not be eligible. If you are selected by the producers for an interview in the semifinals,

you must be willing to travel at your own expense. Well, you do that. To be interviewed at a time to be scheduled by the producers. If you're selected by the producers, you must be willing to travel to L.A. approximately once a week. Yeah. You must be willing to live in the Big Brother House located in Los Angeles for approximately 100 days on such dates.

To be determined by producers, you really have to sign your life over to these people. The house is extensively outfitted with video and audio recording devices, which will record, broadcast, and exhibit your actions and voice at all times 24 hours a day, seven days a week. It says 112 HD cameras and 113 microphones, and I'm wondering where that one extra microphone is. In the toilet. Jesse wants a little mic for daddy. I need to mention something that I didn't mention earlier.

There's 24-hour cameras on all of the cast in every room. I literally just said that. No, listen for a second. There's 24-hour live cast going to the internet. So they're not just filming 24-7. There's a live feed. So like fish tank. Yes.

One participant will receive the grand prize of $700,000, subject to change in producers and or others at other networks' discretion, except for the two finalists who will receive prize money. A weekly stipend will be provided for each participant for each weekly. that he or she remains in the Big Brother House. They don't say how much that stipend is. It's probably so small. It's probably nothing. It's probably legally the minimum

that they can give you. All right, number eight here, you must you must not now be a candidate for public office and if selected as a participant, you must agree to not become such a candidate until after the initial broadcast. I don't know if I could do it then. Of all programs in which you appear, but number nine,

you must be an excellent physical and mental health. well okay and no you're flying by that one you're in look I don't think I'm the best model for all of them but I don't think I'll die or freak out by applying

for participation in Big Brother you authorize the producers to conduct civil criminal financial driver history and any other type of background check deemed to be necessary okay I'm out by producers Chuck I don't think you would flip out at all at any point

if you were in the Big Brother house I would try to have composure. No weed. You're around people constantly. I know you need a lot of alone time. Yeah, and you'll definitely, you're going to zero in on one person at least who you hate and it becomes the devil to you. Right. That's going to, if Ben's on the same season, then it's going to be Ben.

When Ben talks about someone he hates, his voice gets deeper and he sounds straighter. I don't hate anyone. I love all people. Okay. Don't even dare. It's a fucking Jesse Tannenbaum. Fuck you, Jesse. Truly hate Jesse.

Yeah. I truly hate Jesse. He might be the only person I have true hate for it. No, I don't have hatred for... Can I ask how you feel about a different, Jesse? Who? Jesse Somaliate. Who?

What? What do you mean what? No, I know what he's trying to say. Say it again. Jesse Somalit? Jesse Smollett. Um, no, I love Jesse Smolet. I think he's hilarious.

I think it's Jesse too. He's about to go back on the next season of, he should go on Big Brother. Well, he's going on a different show called Special Forces. What the fuck is going on with TV? There's a show called Special Forces. It's so 30 Rock. Like you've got to execute 30 Filipino militants in his camp. No, it's fully just becoming a 30 rock cutaway.

gag at this point they literally did milf island anyways jock those are the eligibility requirements which i don't think you don't have a history of violent crime no yeah that's documented that's what they don't want look the guy that they hired on season two had six uh violent assault charges and two theft charges so that won't be you you're an excellent mental and physical health i hate i hate that joke. I'm agreeing with you. You said you are and I'm just agreeing with what you're saying. I think I could fake it. Fake what? Being an excellent mental. Okay, fake it. I'm okay, everyone. I'm normal. The craziest is. Hey, Mama, I'm good. Can you? No, Jock, seriously try. Give me your best. This could be what makes or breaks it for you in terms of getting on Big Brother in becoming a fucking celebrity.

So why do you try your audition? Yeah, do your audition tape. Five, four. Hi, everyone. My name is Jacques Gonsland. And I'm from Lafayette, Louisiana. I've lived a ton of places, mostly in the U.S., obviously only in the U.S., actually, if we're going to be honest. And I, full-time, I do podcasting.

I am a DJ for the last 11 years. I used to be a dishwasher. I love to paint. I saw my paintings internationally. I have a clothing brand I sell my clothing's internationally I am also just trying to become famous

and I think this is just the perfect time and I will blend in with these guests I will be a forced to reckon with I'm going to show you people what it means to be Cajun in LA I'm going to be there for a hundred days which is the length of the show

and I think I mean come on 100 days of shock That sounds like 100 days of summer. I mean, when I'm around, every day feels like a weekend. I will dance. I will party. I will shake it for my friends. I'm going to make this the time of my life.

And when I tell y'all, I have a good time, I'm going to have a good time. Okay. Book me, hire me, hire me, book me. My booking email is yay, very fun at gmail.com. You're asking the producers to book you? Fuck me as a teacher. What? That was actually a pretty good tape, Chuck.

That was not bad. I was just going to... When I'm around every day is the weekend is a great line, honestly. That's an amazing line. I was going to just let you go for another 50 minutes in the show. Oh, I'll keep going on. Let me give another take then. Yeah.

Let's give you some feedback, though. Yes, sir. Has, do you have any notes? Maybe talk about what you paint. Yeah, talking about what you paint instead of just, you know. maybe call yourself an artist instead of a painting. Talk about the famous people you've met. Talk about the famous people you've met.

I think you could go a little stronger on the mentally healthy angle. Yeah, really show then. Let me ask you a question. How was I not going mentally healthy on that last take? You didn't mention how mentally healthy you were. I'm sorry. You're right.

That was completely healthy. I think it's actually more mentally unstable would it be like, by the way, I'm 100% mentally stable. Well, there's something between. That's true. Right. Especially if you say it like that. I'm going to bring more energy for the next one.

I think maybe, I don't know, I don't, it's not about just getting louder and more energy. Your energy level was totally fine. I think you just need to try one with more energy, though. Let's see what it looks like. Yeah, let's see what more energy looks like. But I think, Jock, immediately introduce yourself as three things. you know to be like hi my name is jock i'm from lafayette louisiana i am a x y z and then get through that and then maybe talk about what your personality will bring to the show and how

you'll relate to the other people and what your strategy will be for what your strategy will okay okay okay hello everybody it's wise a manelli jerry louis okay don't interrupt me or i can't do it Okay, go ahead, go ahead. But hello, really call me. Hello, big brother. My name is Jacques Gonsolin. I am Cajun.

I am semi-famous, and I am a little crazy, but not too crazy, not too crazy, because I'll get on this show because I'm just crazy enough to be fun. Every day feels like a weekend when you're around me. I am a DJ. I am a artiste. I paint. I am a clothing designer. I am a photographer.

I love weed. But I won't do weed if it's not allowed here. However, I would like my weed pills, please. Just my weed pills. I think I'm asking, I think I'm being very reasonable. Also, can we love a movie nine screaming? I don't understand what you're screaming. It's so good.

You're like screaming and doing jazz hands. I don't understand why. Because I'm having fun with it. Can you just, can you stop laughing? No, I know, but it's like talking to an old person who can't hear. Okay, let me pick up. Let me pick up. Ready?

Go, go, go. Five, four, three, two. And I can hear. It's clear that I can hear. I speak like this because I have energy and enthusiasm. I'm ready to bring all the enthusiasm I've got. Oh, yeah. I'm going to run, run, run, run around the house and dance and frolic.

And I'm going to interact with every single person. and win the hearts of not only the audiences of America, but of my colleagues who I will be working with at the Big Brother house. And I, myself, I have no doubt that with this amazing personality, I will win Big Brother and bring the cold back home to the Cajun Paradise. You look like you have Parkinson's. Well, baby, I do have Parkinson's. It's on the way.

I don't know. It's so Jerry. Louis, just screaming. The lady. It's so funny when your like go-to, like, performance reference is like vaudeville, like, Liza and Ellie. Screaming. Okay.

Jock, I think that that was, I mean, I seen, it was fantastic. I mean, it was fantastic. I loved it. I think for Big Brother, maybe, maybe, maybe balance the tone between the first take and the second take. Let's do one more. I think you're almost there. I wouldn't mention weed.

I wouldn't scream, I love weed, but I promise I won't do it. Except my weed pills, which you have to give me. And then beg for them to let you bring in weed pills. Okay, let me talk. Let me talk. Let me talk. Okay, ready? All right. I'm going to try a whole different way this time. Okay. All right, do it. He's going to do it in like a Chinese accent.

No, no. I'm doing something you'll never expect, y'all. I'm slidgeting. Look, I'm just going to be honest, just straight from the beginning. My body is broken. I've been hit by multiple cars, once on foot, four times on a bike. I've been lit on fire. My kidney is not, kidneys are not doing great.

I do have Mercer. And I haven't even said your name. And I'm pretty borderline. But this is the deal. My name is Jacques, and I'm a Cajun. delicacy and we need to put me on the tongues of every audience

member out there I think you could get a whiff of me, you could get a taste of me, you could hear me, you could smell me, you could touch me you could have all of me. Are you offering them your body? What? I would give

my whole body to a producer just to end up to the show for them to not look into my background of, you know. Why couldn't they do both? I think, I think what you're going to get from me is a type of honesty, a type of reality that television has yet to see. I will. On the third take you're immediately offering y'all can do anything with my body.

I'll interrupt the mainframe of TV society by joining this program. You could have me. TV society Interrupt the main frame Of TV society It's crazy That is insiniscretic Keep going, keep going

Keep going I need to be able to use a blow torch For my dab rig about every 20 minutes And if you're not comfortable with that Then you should probably hire me anyway because it would show that you have a lot of tolerance and a lot of, you know, you were raised right to let someone else.

Show that you're so accepting of all people. If you let me bring a blow torch on a show. I could be the first disabled candidate on real housewives of, oh, wait, I mean, big brother. Not even a competition show. You know what I'm kidding. Hey, look, look, I know I sound pretty unconventional, and honestly, I might sound drunk to you.

But what I do have to offer I might sound drunk But I swear I'm not Your greatest adventure Awaits beyond your comfort zone Which is what I never say But I do have a fortune cookie That I taped to my wall that says that

And what I just did is I read it to you It's like someone It's like someone who hangs out on a bus stop Just monologue into themselves It's just vamping I'm sorry, interrupt the mainframe of TV society is so great. It's like a terroristic threat. It's not a threat.

It's just how powerful of an impact I'm going to have on TV society. Right. I don't understand why I'm making a laugh so much when I say TV society. So, I mean, I have no notes on that one. I think it was fucking perfect. I didn't think I could, I'm going to be honest. I didn't think I could still make y'all laugh like that.

Oh my God, it was incredible. It kind of gave me a little bit of a chub, you know? I'm like, whoa. I'm just joking. I'm just joking. I'm just joking. You can touch me.

And to be clear, they probably can't touch you because of the Mursa, right? I have Mursa, but don't worry, you can still have your way with me. You can still take me. I'll have an active Mersa sores. Okay, that's good.

Perfect. I don't have. have any active versus or keep that line for the year real audition tape you will you please jock will you make a real audition tape and send it to me and I'll post

on the seeking derangements Instagram and tag big brother and that'll get us some traction I'll yeah maybe I think you could get on look I'm gonna be honest I probably would do it if I was asked but I would be begrudging about it

because I I'm fighting to try to get Jonathan McMurray and the estate... You wouldn't go on Big Brother? Well, you're just can you listen? Big Brother's not my

number one choice. And my number one choice is the real world. I think the format... Is that still filming? No, that's the issue. We need to start... Look, I need everyone.

If you're listening to this right now, I need you to go on your Instagram and make a story post where you tag MTV and you say, bring real world back and get shot on as a contestant. Do you think that that will work? It's not defunct.

It's not defunct. There would be no reality television boom. So you don't, will you please just make an actual submission tape for a real show that is currently looking for contestants? Yeah, how much? I'm not paying, I'm going to do it and I'm going to go on. I mean, look, if you don't want to do it, I'll do it. I'll do it.

I'll do it because the spirit of competition. Do it for the listeners. They'll want to see. it. Listeners out there, just listen. Let's get to calls. What do you guys think? Yeah, I'm down. I love a call. Someone called monkey. So I, well, never mind. The wrong number was put out for calls on my part, but.

Oh, wait, please, please play that. This is one from... Hello, my friend, how are? I think. I don't know who you have very, very, very, great ojitos.

Yeah, me. Ocho, one, eight. She, I don't know who. I don't know who this is, but she was like, hey, how's it, hey, friend, how's it going? I think you have really, really big eyes, big, cute eyes. Yeah.

Ohitos. I have no clue who that is. For some reason, their contact in this Numbers monkey tail yoga I don't want to know I don't know how they can name their own contact It's from 2023 This is a burner number for me

For the record What were you doing? I have no idea They sound like a drunk Kindergarner Period Oh I know what's happening This is this is

The story of a place What? This is the story of a place this is someone else's um voice mail inbox I took over this number from someone else okay but the one about the eyes was definitely to you right I mean who else could that be too let me see what else she says um Hessa no offense you have beautiful eyes

Ben you have beautiful I guess of eyes all right we're not giving out her number she said call me Okay, I mean, Bill, should we call this woman back? Yeah. I'll call her right now. Okay. I'll put it on speaker phone. 8.1.

Let's see if you can figure out of them. Don't say the number out loud. Don't say the number out loud, please. Okay, I got it, got it. Okay, hold on. You all can hear that? Ask who monkey tail yoga is. Your call has been forwarded to voicemail.

Well, let me leave a voicemail. Don't say my name. Please record your message. When you have finished recording, you may hang up. Hello, this is Jen Morra. This is Jen Mora.

This is Jen Mora. Help me get on Big Brother. Good God. That poor Mexican woman. Yeah. I'm sorry. Did you hang up or did you just press a different button on the phone? I tried to press the delete button.

Hello, this is Jen Mora. I'm sorry. I got to delete this. was that really wrong no no it's just you're genius you're so good at this someone doing a racist impression of your accent immediately giving up I'm sorry sorry I was on the spot

how do I delete this can you call me back and tell me how to delete this please. I wasn't trying to be horrible. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. I will never stop screaming. Let's get to a real call here. Okay. Hi guys. Longtime listener, first time caller. I wanted to call with something funny, but instead something's been bothering me lately. So I'm 28 years old and I'm like slowly watching everyone I know get into serious relationships or get married. or, like, I don't know, just, like, move on, including my younger brother. And while I'm trying to be happy for everyone, I also just, like, kind of feel like killing myself. So how do you cope with, like, being in the late 20s and kind of, like, losing your friends to their boyfriend slash girlfriends and...

Get gay male friends. It's my first piece of advice, hang with gay guys. Oh, oh, wait, she's calling back. Oh, good God. Do not even say any variation on my name, please. Or the name of the podcast. I don't do an accent. Hello.

I had a miss call from this number in 2023. Mm-hmm. Is this monkey tail yoga? Yes. I was just curious if you knew who Ben Mora was. She's fucking bitch. Oh, I just, it was his. I'm his assistant.

I'm calling back on his behalf. You can ignore the voicemail. I'm so sorry to have bothered you. We were just going through old messages trying to get some loose ends settled. It's so ridiculous. Don't say my name. Just say bye.

Just say bye. Jen Mora. Does it just say bye and hang up? Say goodbye and hang up, Doc. You know what? I think I just must have been a round number. I'm so sorry to bother you. Oh, well, do you ever listen to seeking arrangements?

Jock, stop. Yeah, it's like the service for people to get linked up. Jack. I got to go. My boss is saying that this is going on. Oh, my God. You're such a... Jack, I think...

The producers are telling us to hang up. The producers are tough. It won't hang up. The phone is broken. I'm scared about. This is this woman is 28, and she's seeing all of her friends, and then, yeah, of course, everyone is, me and me and me and the hubby are getting takeout and watching a movie, which, yeah, I think is also annoying. I don't think you should worry about being single. It doesn't seem like you're too worried about being single.

You're more worried about your friends leaving you. Which does suck. I get it. Luckily, the majority, I don't think I have a close friend of mine that is married. Yeah, I feel like, who am I thinking of? I guess she's not married. There's not many people who are married. You're thinking you have Meg.

Meg is not married. No, I was thinking, I thought that your bestie in Iowa was married. but no no she's not married either um but yeah i mean it is tough god she's calling again don't answer just just text her and say i'm sorry it was wrong enough like i'm just gonna say hey we thought this is our friend yeah don't say we don't say we you're not bringing me into this it's you've already we've already told this woman that i told you to call her not you i was trying to pull a trick on someone else

I'm sorry to have bothered you I would say advice I would say just find some gay friends or some transgender women because they are always Facebook dating has a

setting on their thing to look for friends which seems very convoluted but I think you should give that a try honestly I don't know if you should find friends on Facebook That seems absolutely terrible Facebook dating

And honestly I've met a girl from Facebook once And we were good friends for a while Yeah maybe so Or just you know Go out alone You meet people when you're out And go that way you'll You know you'll meet new friends

Like seriously go to a bar And it's fine to just go get drunk alone And talk to people But I mean I don't know I'll probably be single forever I really enjoy being single And she's calling again

I hate Oh, my God. I think I'm going to have to block her. You don't have to block her. Just. She said, wait, I know Jen more. Okay. So just, just, just, just, let's, let's just do this.

Oh my God, she won't stop calling me back. Yeah. Can we just do the show? Can you put your phone down? She said I miss you. Okay, so she's like a scammer or something. Yeah, probably. Can we just do the show, please, Jock?

And can you stop? So I'll have to edit. edit that out, so I can please stop mentioning it so I have less work to do. Does that make sense to you, Jog? Yeah, I'm sorry, I didn't know. No, it's okay. I just want to make, I just want to make sure it makes sense to you, so I don't have to do more editing. You bring

up something that's no longer in the final episode. I don't even know what you're talking about. Okay. Perfect. Thank you so much. Okay, let's get to it's good to this call here. Look, what's up, y'all? So, I was mostly canceled by a BPD woman.

that, like, lives in my city. I live in a flyover stay. It's one of those scenes where, like, everyone knows each other, whatever. Yeah, like, more or less, like, she kind of said that, like, I was weird in the bedroom when I wasn't. Really annoying situation. But, like, she ended up burning a lot of bridges. Everything ended up being okay.

People were just, like, oh, this bitch is crazy. But, like, at the same time, it really spun. me and was really difficult to just like maneuver like forward or just to deal with so what is your advice someone who has been in that situation you know maybe jock through being a BPD short he has like some advice but I don't have to chime in like I'm interested just in what everyone has to say but yes okay that's basically wait he's going to say he loves us I want to hear that part we love you love you guys you're so sweet let me know i'll say a really quick sentence the easiest thing this is so easy to remember this applies to going out being a person that

is known or you know you're saying that people canceled you whatever nothing can change who you are if you are comfortable with who you are like you yourself if like no whatever anyone that says about you can doesn't mean that it's true if if like you yourself live whatever truth like if someone if someone calls me skinny I live my truth and I

and I know I'm fat and I'm fine with that and I'm comfortable okay interesting angle I think specifically here getting canceled by a BPD person um been there brother okay

I think these people are a dime a dozen everywhere. I mean, there are a lot of them in New York City, but there's like so many of them in New York City that everyone kind of doesn't really pay attention to them anymore. They're kind of in like a BPD league and they, you know, cancel each other, but no one really pays. Yeah, the older you get, the less people, the more these people, the less these people are paid attention to. Right. And I think you did the right thing, which is kind of just let this person. spin out and then everyone kind of realizes that like oh this bitch is crazy but in small towns

or mid-sized cities particularly in flyover country there is not that the BPD BPD hose don't exist in the excess they do in a larger city so they do have a bit more sway they do have a bit more credibility um I think either way you do the right thing which is kind of just like a crazy person will eventually burn all their bridges and you're fine. I don't know, I mean, that being said, I don't know exactly what happened. And it seems like you were rude to her. I'm assuming this guy's gay. I don't know. I don't understand what he said. I was working on the bedroom. It said he was rude to her in the bedroom. So I mean, I think they were having sex or something. Okay. I don't, I don't know what that means, honestly. He probably did that thing from sex in the

city when Charlotte is having sex with the guy and every time he comes he goes oh yeah you stupid fucking whore you slut yeah you tell her she has like stupid glasses or something yeah please take off those librarian glasses

I will say the last job do you have any do you have any advice from a BPD perspective he did all it made me think about is the last the last person that tried to have sex with me, grabbed me by my belly

and said, God, it's so full. And that's why I didn't have sex with him. But I don't think that's what he did. Yeah. I doubt this guy grabbed a woman's belly and said, you're so full. Yeah. It seems like you're fine. This guy is fine. You'll be okay.

Yeah, I mean, especially if this happened kind of recently, it'll just like donate to a charity. Donate for a charity for a borderline personality disorder. And then you, what can they say like be honest

what can they say once you do that they can say you don't I wouldn't do that because once you make make any kind of concession to these people they realize that they have while I don't agree on you and they will continue to excise that leverage no you need to be stonewalled don't give them an inch because they will take a mile

no you tell them while while they've been saying this this borderline woman's been saying this I just want everyone to know that I have no issues with borderline people. Let me give $1,000 to the borderline society for entrapment. The borderline society for entrapment. It's like in a secret league of borderline people.

Wait, why do you hate borderline people, Ben? You don't like me? No, I mean, in general, I find them to be extremely exhausting and deeply narcissistic. I don't think I'm narcissistic, but you think I'm, I know I'm deeply annoying. I did say in general, and you're taking a person. So, I think that answers the question there. Can I ask you this, though? Are we still friends?

Of course. What do you mean? Okay, I just double checking. This is, again, another reason why BPD people are so fucking annoying. Are you mad at me? Like, of course we're friends, Shockley. It makes me question if we're friends because you feel they need to ask it. For me, it's a static thing.

Well, because you just said you don't like borderline people and I'm borderline, so I was just, I just had to do it. Right. I know, I love you. I love you. I love you, too. Yeah, no So I love you too There are times where I am

extremely sick of BPD people Especially as I get older And believe it or not Jock You are not the only BPD person I know I know much worse Can I ask you honestly Whoa, you know it's worse than Jock? Whoa, yeah I was gonna say

Do you think I'm the most annoying person to you In the life? It's okay if I am because I do give you a lot of Um, sometimes Yeah I only have Gun to your head Gun to your head, this robber is like,

I'm going to blast your fucking brains out if you don't tell me who's annoyed you the most in the last five years. And you go, shock, and you're like, Jacques, Jacques, I know it's you. Take off the mask and put the gun down. Please put the gun down. And yes, it's annoying that you hold a gun to my head.

Yeah, for sure. No, you probably annoyed me the most out of anyone in the past five years, but that's okay. I don't hold any. I think it's an equal thing. It's fine. We've annoyed each other. We love each other.

Yeah. Yeah, as much as we annoy each other. Like multiple, like, all week every week for, so you're in contact more. Right, right. There's a higher possibility for incident, of course. Come back to Louisiana. I'm ready for you to be back so we can do that foot race again. Oh, look, we have another question about BPD.

Hi, Ben, Hessa, Jacques. I love you guys so much. Oh, we love you, too. I'm calling in specifically for question for a board. Ben. For context, I have a friend who, my best friend, who I love so much, so dear to my heart, resembles Jacques in many ways, more specifically the BPD and drug use. And they make a lot of choices that's like I wouldn't make. And I am kind of there to help them clean it up. So my question to you, Ben, was how do you stay sane and can you?

Continue loving your best friend. That's insane. I don't want to go insane. I'd like to think of myself as not an insane person. But the longer I'm friends with them, the more I fear I, too, may become insane. Also, this is not a big, a Jacques at all. Jock, I love you so much. I want to both of your shows at the lodge room in L.A., and I'm a huge fan.

Thank you, guys. Thank you, Diva. You sound like a very sweet and nice person. That was, that meant a lot. For anyone that came to showpig, that was a, I really missed that. I miss my friends. I feel like I, we kind of just answered this question. Yeah.

I would say if you have, if you have one long-term crazy friend who you do love, cap it at that. Do not get involved. I avoid, in no, truly no offense to the BPD community. I'm sure many of our listeners have BPD. I understand it's a mental illness and I'm not trying to talk shit on you guys. I respect it. I have a strategy.

I understand it's something that people struggle with. Like, seriously. So I'm not, I'm really not trying to be a bitch. I have empathy for you guys. I will say, though. You get it. I call Ben crying saying I'm struggling about it like once every four months. Yes, no, I understand.

I do think, though, Yes, like limit your exposure to their PPD people and kind of just be there for the current crazy friend you have and help them. I do think encouraging them to get into cognitive behavioral therapy is a huge game changer. Dialectical behavioral therapy is like even more so. Yeah, that's what I take. That's had the most help with the malice. Delectable behavior therapy is my DBT therapist won't call me back. Yikes.

but I just want to give an honest piece of advice to this girl like really seriously as a BPD person there's one way you can go about this

that's like the best thing that you could do for your friend and for yourself you're going to go and get a stick of butter from your fridge and you're going to want

to rub it on the bottom of your friend's like shoes like the bottom part really grease them up and then invite them to go somewhere real slick you know don't and once they

fall, they're going to be kind of incapacitated for a second. They're going to go ow! Help me! And when you help them, they're going to realize that you're a really good friend and you do a lot for them. They're going to develop a sense of respect. Creates scenarios in which you save them. Yeah, become as crazy as them.

Become more crazy. No, no, no, no. Well, that's where I was going here. It seems like her biggest concern is that she's also going to get some residual BPD behavior. And that does happen. Like, fully does happen because the way BPD people can kind of distort power dynamics and reality and extract certain concessions from you in one way or the other, they're masterminds of leverage and getting what they want.

And that does make you crazy. And then once you are subject to those tactics, you're more likely to then deploy them. So don't do that, right? If you catch yourself doing something kind of BPD, just stop doing that, just, you know, because it's a slippery slope but overall in general I do think especially now getting older is just

simply a process of becoming insane and becoming rigid in your ways and in the ways that you personally have... Yeah, in the specific ways you're insane. Yeah, that's just now and maybe always has been like a part of socialization. That's why old people are the way they are.

Everyone kind of gets not necessarily classifiably insane but they've become With insane and more, or less insane and more insane in different specific ways. Right. You've become more yourself and more rigid and what you can and can't accept. And I mean, a lot of that can be close to certain mental illnesses or something. So, I mean, you're going to go crazy.

We're all going to go crazy. Maybe all of us are already crazy. I'm going to go sane for once. It'll surprise everyone. Love to see that. And look, by the way, another thing I can recommend to you, and if I'm being serious, is even though it's not the same as borderline bipolar mood disorders often get thrown in the same kind of category. And I recommend you watch this VHS tape. It's kind of hard to find, but it's called

Living with Manic Depression. It's really cool. It's got a race car and lightning on the front of it. That might actually be helpful if you can find that random VHS. It's very rare. It's by Solvei pharmaceuticals and it's got Gary Sacks, MD, the director of the bipolar mood disorders. disorder program out of Massachusetts General Hospital. I'm serious. Watch this tape and you're going to get some interesting patient perspectives on this disorder that could maybe help

you understand how to act. Okay. One piece of just genuine medical advice. There is something called a stalite ganglion block. It's essentially part of your sympathetic... What the hell?

No, no. It's almost like they tap some kind of nerve or they essentially they essentially deactivate your fight fight or flight fight fight response which most bpd people live in a constant state of fight or flight um and okay wait i don't so so this injection this this this injection basically paralyzes the um fight or flight response and mellows out dPD people is it like permanent

no I think it's not like a it's not like a full like it lasts every few months or years a few years a year while traditionally used for pain management SGB is increasingly being studied and used for

conditions linked to hyperactive fight or flight response such as PTSD anxiety disorders and depression study suggests it can reduce anxiety symptoms and improve quality of life for those with PTSD and certain cluster B personality disorders. Period.

So, I mean, it sounds intense, and it is, but that's something to maybe encourage your friend to freeze her flight response. Or freeze your own so that you don't get as insane. Will y'all put, would seeking derangements pay for, wait, just listen, I'm not even going to say. I think I know what he's going to say. Can we all, what do you call it when you, when you have in

insurance, but you have to pay the fee when you go to the appointment. A premium? Yeah, can you just pay them up for my premium for when I go to get the game? Are you asking me to pay for your medical bills? I'm not paying for your medical bills. Just the ganglion. Just the ganglion.

Do you want me to be? No, no, you should want that for yourself. See, this is what I'm talking about with BPD people. They try to make all of their responsibilities, your responsibility. Yeah. No, this is your health. It's your life. I'm not responsible for your health care.

sorry I would I hope that it goes well for you but I'm not going to get you one for Christmas either I wanted you to be happier bitch I don't need to freeze my flight or fight response oh I would just give you some so I would just have you in a I would I think you should oh I'm not going to get a painting or a uh a dress that says seeking derangements 70 times on it because I'm not getting I'm not paying seven hundred dollars for you to freeze your flight or fight response no No, I'm still going to give you presents. I give you presents all the time. Okay.

I give you a closing shirt. Remember I gave you that shirt that said Africa, the gazelle and the tiger? It's a Heather gray shirt, and it has this whole little pair. Yes, I did like that shirt a lot. And you asked me to give. In Africa, every morning, a gazelle wakes. The fastest gazelle escapes the slowest tiger. Are you a fast gazelle?

something like that. I don't remember, but it was a really really hard-de-hirt anymore. Yeah. It's somewhere. I don't know where it is. But yes, I do still have it. No, sorry, Jock. I wear it every moan that you let out, Chuck. I wear it every single day, and it's my only shirt. Thank you. Is that what you wanted to hear? Yeah, I'm trying to think, I've tried, because I have all the shirts you gave me.

All right, let's get through. You gave me a medium hoodie once, and I felt like you were trying to fat shame me and don't ever do that shit again. I swear to God he sewed a XL tag of a hoodie onto a medium hoodie just to make me feel crazy. That, okay, now that we're just doing full BPD analysis, you're mad at me for giving you an Excel hoodie for free that you couldn't fit into and you're displacing the blame onto me being evil and switching out the tags to be a bitch to you. Well, I just, I'm just thinking about the possible scenario. Can you Can you, what's more likely that I switched a tag or that you're a little bit fatter than he thought? I'm a little bit fatter than I thought.

Can you stop blaming me for everything in your life and making me out to be a villain? No, I can't. My therapist won't call me back. He is so funny. I know, Ben switched these damn dads. Oh, no. Ben switched the tags. I'm going to feel so bad!

No! Stop screaming, please. Let's do this one. We have to do calls. This one's for you, Jacques. Hey, y'all, big fan. 26 straight male from Atlanta here. First, I had a question for Jacques,

which is, what is your hot food express order, if you go? And for everyone, fuck Mary Kill. Now this video's BuzzFeed Tasty for Life Hack videos. thank you caller thank you that's a good fuck merry kill I'm literally looking up hot food express if they're talking about the place in Lafayette or if he means

I would imagine this is just like a southern regional chain and that's why he's asking you in particular also because you you love you know you all really just delicately danced around that Like it was thin ice. Y'all just did ballet on the thinnest ice without making to get it.

Isn't that poetry? Gracefully. Okay, we're bringing it up the menu. Okay, so, oh, the bang bang shrimp fried rice with saracha is flame. I've actually been, I told my friend, my friend. He's flame. I've never heard you speak like that before. Yeah, that's the first time I've heard you say that.

I'm taking Hillary Clinton at like a fried chicken establishment. No, no, no, no, no, listen. his flame i recently me and alex were passing by that place and i was like oh we should go eat there and he was like oh hell no if i eat there is gonna wreck my shit up and i was like i'm right i want to get rent that's that's when you are like oh i gotta go i gotta go okay also um

the talky thing is really good okay let's let's just stop reading a menu and let's get to this guy's question y'all never let me read a menu for three minutes BuzzFeed videos Tasty What is that? It's now This video Busfeed Tasty

I feel like BuzzFeed has already killed itself Is that even I don't even know what the question is because there's not even three things

I would kill now this video Fuck BuzzFeed Tasty And then I would marry Lifehack videos Okay I would I would marry BuzzFeed Unsolved Mysteries

I would Fuck BuzzFeed Unsolved Mysteries, and I would also shockingly kill BuzzFeed Unsolved Mysteries, because it's just too much. Stick to the landing there. Yeah, that was beautiful. I would, I mean,

I do hate all of these genres of short video. It's stuck the land by the way. Oh my God. This girl is broke. I broke her. I would probably marry now this video

is because I feel like they make a lot of money. yeah I feel like if I'm if you marry life hack videos then your life will be fully hacked but they're not they're just like bait life hack videos it's just like filling up a glove with cement and like hitting a banana with it and it's like this is how you make a smoothie and it's like I wish that's how you made a smoothie cutting a water bottle in half and then sawing a hole in it and putting a straw in the hole yeah and then like an egg yolk in the middle of it and then putting it on a fan and then turning on the fan no

Those are, like, too stupid. I can't. I can't. I would kill them. I would absolutely kill them. It's like, I hate those videos so much. It's so stupid. And I guess I fuck BuzzFeed tasty.

I hate the BuzzFeed company so much. I mean, I'm picturing, you just have to picture that burger that they cut in half and all the cheese comes out. You just got a picture of putting your, shoving your dick into that burger and scolding it. I would, um, kick. Jubilee. I know that wasn't listed because I find myself watching so many Jubilee videos. What is Jubilee again? Jubilee is like they do um they do really funny videos that I love where it's just like 15 Filipinos versus seven Mexicans. Oh, those ones, those ones. I love those videos. I also, they do ones where it's like, um, who's the, who's the fake,

um, like they did one where it's all black people. And the one white guy, I've seen that one. And they were like, who is the white guy in the room? And of course, the white guy was like, you know, fully chet hangs. And then they have like a, like, panel who's trying to decide who's the real, who's the white guy. And they all have like blindfold on, blindfolds on. I would love to do not the black one, but something like that. It's you and a bunch of black guys.

Me, trying to be a black guy, be insane. I think you would be funny No Yes wait No that would be that would be That would be Hillary Clinton at a fried chicken restaurant Yes Hello my brothers

How are we doing today? Hello brothers Hello brothers Is that something she said? Brother man A fried chicken please Brother man is so fucking funny No

That sounds like a pitch for a in the style of Poudi Teng? Yeah, Brother Man. That was like the working title for the movie Undercover Brother. She, but no, Jubilee videos used to be like that, like funny, like social experiment style videos, but now they just put like Medi Hassan in a room with a bunch of like Nazis and they argue. And I'm like, this is so boring.

Like if, can we please just go like full brain route with Jubilee and not try to become like the discourse out? Yeah, there's another funny one I saw where it's all professional basketball players and one guy who's not a professional basketball player and they have to ask, like, questions. That one's really fun. I love that shit. It is so fun. I would love to go on a Latino version.

Yeah. Because they have one. Which one's Whiteina. Yeah. Oh, my God. One white, one white, one white, one white teen over 17 Mexicans. Yes. I would love to do that.

You could camouflage your voice, though, blindfolded and they would be true. No, because, I mean, Latino. are Latinos are white. They would just quiz you on, like, cultural stuff. Do you think you would be the whitest Latino in the room? Do you feel like that one? Probably, yeah. I'm the whitest Latino in most rooms.

You're the white, white as Latino I know. I'm up there. I mean, it's really, well, the thing is, I'm not like. Some have red hair, though. That's why I'm colorists because I make fun of Vince. But those are, like, those are, like, Mexicans who are, like, fully German. But they're Mexican because, you know, they've been raised in Mexico. and stuff, but like, I'm not like the other whitenos.

I'm fully half white and fully half Latino. It's not like, you know, my parents were like, you know, like from the Czech Republic who moved to Mexico. Yeah. Huh? I don't think you understand what I'm saying, Jock. There are European immigrants who moved to Mexico who are literally Mexican. I thought you were arguing that, um, that there's a way where the DNA can be like 40-60.

You can be Mexican and be 100% white Yeah Because it's not a race, it's nationality Yeah, I get it I get it Like that's why there are so many Chilean Jews Yeah well they're just Oh my God, y'all

This 11 year old this weekend Asked me if I was Jewish It was so funny I was hanging out with this girl and her son And he asked if I was Jewish And it just made me cry laughing What did you say? Right before

I was like, he was like, do you have any more snacks? And I was like, no, not really. And he was like, right after he immediately asked. Oh, I think you were asking this child for snacks. No, no. No, what do you got? My friend and her son came over and he asked if I had any snacks and I, I need more snacks, which I had to get snacks from my roommates.

One of my roommates had like individual packs of, like, it is really weird seeing you interact with children. It's, like, actually, like, it's not. And I'm realizing now, did he say, are you Jewish because you wouldn't give him a snack? Yes. And then you reinforce the behavior by laughing really hard at it. Yeah. Yeah, no, I'm just selfish.

What a good guess. I'll be honest. I was, I was didn't say this, but I recently have been trying to kind of flirt with this woman with two kids. And I don't know. Oh, my God. I don't know if I'm suited You are not the father who stepped up I'm the father who fell down the stairs

I have fallen down several stairs But no no no No I love seeing you interact with children I think I'm good with kids kids like me Kids are baffled by you Well sometimes babies I'll do this thing where I'm like and sometimes they like it or they just start crying you never know also seeing you interact with

dogs is very funny because you like don't know how to pet a dog you i've never seen you pet a dog correctly what do you mean have pet a dog correctly just patting its head he like pats it and like hits it and like not like not like hard not like beating dogs but like you are most dogs are afraid of i'm autistic because i'm touching the dog like this going come here yeah you you You touch it like you're trying to, like, make a sandwich out of it. I love animals. I love dogs. Yeah.

Do you want to do one more, you guys? And then... Yeah, let's do some more. Let's do 17. Or just one more. Hesse, if you need to go, you can go. I'm kind of just hung over and going to be home anyways. I can record with jog if you want to...

Yeah, I got to head out. You got to leave. I'll go after this one. I'll go. Where are you going? Um, getting dinner. You're always getting goddamn dinner. Let's let her listen to.

the damn call what's this one you don't tell me what to do damn it i don't even know what that is let's just listen let's listen yeah yeah hey y'all love everything you do love the show i've been waiting with bated breath for y'all to talk about shoddy bay um the influencer who is just really cool and awesome and is not you know god i can't think i'm the right word i just looked up a picture i love shoddy bay i think has like a some kind of something's going on shoddy bay i've never i've never heard is a woman or a man you don't know who shoddy bay is i've been a fan of shoddy bay for oh 10 years you know who she is yeah I love Shottie Bay

I think she's a fucking queen I love what she does Speaking of people I would love to see Speaking of Jock interacting with dogs and children I would love to see you interact with Shottie Bay

Dude It's like Plato and Aristotle Yeah Like we could muck bang it With the best of them Because like For anyone out there Who doesn't know who Shottie Bay is

Shottie Bay is I believe she's Bolivian Um, she's from Minnesota, um, now lives in L.A. You would recognize her from her muckbangs, um, of her eating guinea pigs. Of her eating guinea pigs. Yeah, people eat guinea pigs all over the world. Oh. I would, I would go, I would go to town on the guinea pigs.

Yeah, I'm sorry. I said it's, you know, I'm like, you wouldn't eat a guinea pig? No, I'll eat a bunny and I think the bunnies are sick. Oh, yeah, rabbit's fine, yeah. But, rabbit has... No, I love Shottie Bay. Shottie Bay finally has... Oh, that is so gross with the guinea pig.

It was TikTok trending. Shottie Bay has had a rough run of it with her, like, evil cloud-chasing boyfriends because she moved to L.A. And, like, of course, all these, like, thoughts are, like... It's like... Trumb in the water. Yeah.

And they're just trying to, like, you know, use Shottie Bay for her clout. But she finally did get a very sweet boyfriend and super cute. I think she's truly in love with this new boyfriend she has who is like very cute and they seem to really love each other. He gets her the best presents. He gets her like snacks and then like a gift card. He got her bedazzled giant buzz ball and I thought that was beautiful. I love their love.

And I am so happy for Shottie Bay that she's finally not fucking around these little boys anymore. She has a man. I love it. He got her gift cards to AMC because he was like, I know she loves to go to the movies. Yeah, they love Mexicanly. That is truly what it looks like to love Mexicanly. I'm very happy for them. Okay, Hassee, you want to dip?

Jock and I can do a couple more calls. Yeah, yeah, I'm going to head out of. Hissah, I love you. Bye guys. Oh, wait, wait, I'm recording. Oh, fuck my life. All right, well, everyone out there. No, I can stay for a little bit longer.

Are you sure? Let's just do one more. to wrap up. Hi, Divas. This question is mostly for HESA. I'm calling because I have a very, very, very hot neighbor who is

a very, very tall, very attractive trans woman who's probably like 6'2, 6'4 3. Period. Very hot, very intimidating. Every time I see her, she's strutting down our street. She's got on some, like,

fab, some gloves. um she always looks the hot as fuck and every time I see her I am walking my derange Chihuahua I'm in my like fucking pajamas I look stupid I look frumpy I look short I look stupid um how do I hit on her how do I how do I approach her I keep hoping I see her on like a dating website I mean that's basically it. What do you think, Hessa? I think you should use the chihuahua

to your advantage. I mean, if she hasn't picked up on the chihuahua or noticed it, maybe she doesn't like dogs, but if she does, maybe because your neighbors, you could like bring her something, bring her like a nice house forming gift and say, hey,

I haven't noticed, neg her, be like, um, hey, I haven't noticed you here before. And then get her, like, like get her buy from Amazon buy something called like um quiet jo-boy crossy femboy crossy T-girl

perfect tuck fan ties no I'm just kidding oh my god what you can do is that a real thing yes what you can do

which would be I mean yeah just find a reason to talk to her if she lives like a couple houses over in your neighborhood should be easy enough but you can can do is

I went to my neighbor's house the other day because a package for him ended up at my house you know don't wait on the USPS to or something no jock you could send yourself a package with I'm trying to find

it gets tough I'm trying to find a way that she could okay go to USPS have them print out a label for her house put it on a package and yeah put anything in the package and be like hey this got this was delivered to my house as i think this is the right address or something and go to her house and give her a package but then it's like well she didn't buy it so what's in it sorry i'm home over but i just find a way to find a way to talk to her no no no i have a better solution put like a piece of wine in the box in the cloak in the cloak of the night go and put sugar a whole bag of sugar uh like

like a five pound bag of sugar on the perimeter of her house, and her house will get infested with bugs, and she'll have to leave. Oh, ripped on a power line in your neighborhood, and then go over to her house and be like, hey, is your internet out?

My internet is out, and I think there's some crazy woman ripped down a power line earlier. I don't know if you saw her, but it was not me. She's insane. Y'all, I kept taking Mardi Gras beads and throwing them on the power line above my house and I did that until I accidentally

fucked the power lineup and it turned off all the neighborhood power for like four hours in the yeah do that do that that's a great idea I did that when I was like 10 cut her power cut her break cut her breaks and then when she gets in a car crash five seconds after leaving the house run out and save her well get her really drunk and make And make, when she's walking on the street, make sure she can see you, walk over to her house, put on blue surgical gloves, reach up and just unscrew her porch light a little bit so it won't turn on when it's nighttime. And then look over and make, make eye contact with her.

Yes, do that. Do that. I think she'd probably find that so. My biggest piece of advice, be the bigger diva in this situation and just, just move. what's the fuck what I think jock thinks I forgot what the issue is here that you

that this woman wants this trans woman to move I think yeah jock do you remember let's end on this jock do you remember what this one's question was yes of course how to wear pajamas if you're a chihuahua all right

everyone out there thank you so much for listening to seeking arrangements today like I said earlier this was a free episode so if you like what you heard go subscribe to our patreon patreon.com slash seeking derangements oh and interior motive is now out on youtube my first guest were patrick doran k poyer you can find that um at youtube.com it looks funny interior motives show yeah and go follow their instagram to uh the interior motives and yeah i want to come on i also keep thinking about submitting my room but i don't know

you should please submit your room no i'll use your room for guests who don't know you Um, okay, um, uh, before we go, I just want to really quickly plug. If you need to book me for just gosh darn anything, DJ and comedy, uh, to be your personal friend, um, my email is Jelvis 8 at no, well, wait, wait, never mind. It's the wrong email. It's yay, very fun at gmail.com. Y-A-Y-V-E-R-Y-F-U-N at gmail.com. Thank you so much, Ben, for a complete. my own brain chemistry and watch uh watch castration movie when it comes oh and watch the first

three seasons of the world i saw the trailer for that looked really good house i want to see it's fun it was it's fun and don't don't forget to interrupt the mainframe of tv society you can touch it with that i i blew y'all away with that i don't think i've ever made y'all laugh so hard in this no i'm like i was like seeing i was seeing the submission video in the styling of when Osama bin Laden made all those videos from that cave he's like

he has a big hood on like I'm going to interrupt the mainframe of TV society I was like Guy Fox mask the voice changer the main frame of TV society is about to be interrupted you have one hour

give me my weed tables all right sorry I've been thinking I've been thinking about video My love's yours My love's your horse My love is your horse My love's your horse

My love's your horse My love is yours Sweet panic My love is your My amoreseau, my love is your, my love is your cavalo, my amoreseau, my amoreseo, my amoreseo, my love is your, my Amoreseal. Caval.

So, it's so a Cavao big, arms, fores,

eyes, bigs, hands, deads, into in the roba. I scorn

afogated in liquids that that's that's from my friend

perfumated Thank you.