Seeking Derangements - SD 445 - Oh-Bitch-You-Scaries

Episode Date: October 12, 2025

It's Seeking Sunday! Ben here, today Jacques, Hesse and I discuss how the iPad-ification of cars is turning our seniors into lethal drivers, lobby the Golden Globes to give us an award for podcasting, and end the episode by finding a new Gay Guy Article Writer to bully. Plus we develop an amazing pitch for a weekly column in Them. This week's music is provided by lil_art_hoe, my dear friend and Jacques cousin (on both sides.) He's a king, go check out his newest EP "Call Me" on bandcamp.

All you Yeah, who knows it, no clue. Anyways, welcome everyone, happy Seeking Sunday. This is a free episode of Seeking Durangements. So if you like, would you hear, go subscribe to our Patreon for weekly bonus episodes and the occasional mix from Jock or Hesse or radio episode from me. But I'm here with Hessa. Jock is going to get a fierce welcome to work diva very soon. But Hessa, hello.

I love the idea of someone turning on our podcast for the first time and being like, it says preview in the title. And they're like, what the hell? Why is this only five minutes long? Well, you have to remind these bitches, Hessa. You really do. And honestly, that happens more often than you'd think. Does it really?

I buy it. I mean, better safe than sorry, I guess. I mean, since posting previews and sense harping at the beginning of each episode, I have seen numbers steadily rise after releasing the previews. But this isn't a preview. This is a full episode. So you guys are hearing a full episode today. Yeah. And Jock will be here very shortly. We have a couple things we want to talk about. Jock said he's bringing some breaking news. I'm not sure what that is. Yeah. I saw he sent some things. to the chat

a little... Oh, it was just clips from the last episode. Clips from the last episode, but I'm sure he'll have 10,000 daily mail articles that he will demand to read and I'll let him do it. I don't care. Whatever. Wait, I see your nephew's picture of you.

Girl, he's such a bitch. He drew as a complete circle. It's like a perfect circle. Yo, he literally said that you're the damn dirty bubble. Literally. Wait, play the audio into your mic. Okay, okay, okay.

This is my two-year-old nephew. It's you. That's me? Yeah. It's you, well? Wow. Wow. It's happy?

Yeah, happy. Thank you. He's so sweet. It's for the people at home, it looks like Mr. Electric from the short boy, Lava Girl. Actually, those are the only film references I understand from people. Another Latino. No. He thinks you're George Lopez because he falls over the people at home.

This kid is like, he looks a little airy in with it. Oh, yeah. I mean, he's one quarter Costa Rica. At that point, it's like it doesn't mean anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. If your half, it would mean something. Yeah, yeah, of course, of course. Back up, back up, back up, back up, back up.

You round up, you round up. You round up. You round up. But, okay, how so I was driving home? just like an hour ago and I was I was preparing for the show at the gym and one of my favorite episodes we've ever done is when we scrolled through the website say uncle which is the parent company to like 100 day porn studios and it's all just like fuck doctor and step brother mother lover like just crazy missing sissy like stuff like that yes in the craziest font you've ever seen it like the font that would be on a family dick the font that would be on a jar of pre-workout or something yes yes um and i so first of all i was at the gym like scrolling through gay porn i was walking

on the treadmill because i'm like hmm i don't really have much for today's episode maybe i'll see if there's new um studios uh on the uh the say uncle almost monopoly it's like yeah it's like when you look at how, like, cereals are produced, and it's, like, made all by, like, Kellogg or whatever. Say, Uncle produces, like, probably, like, 50% of gay porn. I don't know. I feel like at the same time, there's so much, it's so kind of distributed. A lot of gay porn is, like, you know, made in a warehouse and, like, Ukraine or somewhere, you know. Or just, like, made in people's bedrooms.

I guess gay men are kind of constantly making pornographic content of themselves. Like, every, I think about making. Maybe like, what, 78% of all gay people make porn of themselves and regularly and post it all the time? I would say more. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. A hundred percent, that's off. And with trans women, it's 200% somehow. It's because they've got an extra part.

Speaking of extra parts, Jock Consulin is here. Oh. Welcome to work, divo. Your mic is, next time he does this, I'm not going to tell this mic is muted. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't just wait first. They added an extra chromosome? That's how they made trans people?

They did. Jock, please make sure you're recording a local track. Oh, my God. Or don't in the audio, the audio. We can just make an audio. We can just make a podcast with terrible audio. Sorry, Ben. Welcome to work to you.

It's fine. I'm just being a bitch. But I was, Jack, I was telling Hesse about my experience of the gym watching gay porn. Anyways, I got out of the gym. Put the gay porn down. Sorry. Sorry, sorry. Sorry, sorry.

And I was driving home and I passed this Tesla that had rear-ended another car pretty severely. Everyone was fine. I saw them get out of their cars in the person that got of the Tesla about 90 years old. And I'm like, even in like standard issue cars now, like newer cars, the giant fucking iPad in everything, it's like being a fucking spaceship. I feel like I don't know how to pilot a lot of those. vehicles when I'm behind the wheel and I'm like I cannot imagine what it would be like like this man survived the depression he was like alive when Hitler shot himself like he has been and he's now he was there he was there and he's now in a fucking Tesla and I'm like I think in the next it's probably already happening but I do think in the next like five years as electric vehicles and like there's just there's so much integration of tech touchscreen tech just giant iPads, et cetera, into cars, older people who famously hate giving up the driver's licenses, it's going to be like, kamikaze shit.

I'm so scared to be honest when I see an old person driving a new car. I think I know exactly what happened. And it was that this guy is old as fuck. And he is like, like all old people is bad at driving and should have turned over his driver's license. Yes. I remember my, um, my grandparents had to, they turned over their licenses. May they rest in peace.

Love them. But they turned over their licenses because my dad was like, it's so sad what happened to that 17 car pile up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ripped all the victims, y'all. That Muslim terror attack that they drove the van. They were driving the van during, um, the, um, no, they didn't get into it. But my dad was like, you, you have to tell them.

to stop driving. You got nominated to take the license, take the keys away. Yeah, and I was like, Graham, you should stop driving. And he was like, okay. I don't, that's okay. Wow.

Yeah, yeah. He didn't even give a fuck after that. It usually does not go that way. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I think like he just loved me so much. He was like, okay. I don't care. And children are the future,

but they shouldn't be killed by vehicles. Yeah, but. Or should they? I don't know. That's a good question. clearly clearly what happened here is that this person whose dad it was a guy right like a 90 year old guy it was an old man yes it was an old woman I don't want to mm-hmm yeah it would have been a lot worse I'm only 33 I don't

know why they keep reporting me as 90 but the this old man was you know getting into a lot more fender benders and his son didn't have a beautiful trans daughter that he that this old man loved the old man hated all the grandkids so and the guy didn't want to get yelled at by his dad you couldn't even give me a transgender daughter yeah yeah and so he was like uh this guy was like fuck it i'll just get him a Tesla those can drive themselves right right no literally dude yeah i'm just i he probably got like uh he was probably like playing candy crush on his damn iPad while he was doing this. It's so

so dangerous. What's more evil a Tesla or a Waymo and what's more dangerous a Tesla or a Waymo? What's a Waymo? Waymo. Hesse are the self-pilited cars that are being rolled out in San Francisco and other places.

Can I make a guess about them? That there has to be someone in the driver's seat the whole time? No. There's no one in the driver's seat. It's literally like, I mean, I follow so many gay men on social media. They have a dedicated lane or something? No.

They're just, they're completely autonomous, self-driving cars that they're like taxis. It's like Uber's and you get in the back. You get in the back or you could get in the front. I've seen people in the front. But I follow so many

gay men who are like working in tech like tri-coastal sociopath come dump gay guys and they love a posting from the back a waymo and be like a waymo vibes and I'm like oh if oh my god the gay dream if someone could just hack all of these things and make them drive into the atlantic ocean yeah yeah yeah fucking happy from from san francisco they drive into the atlantic ocean hang on i think we should have been there a few days ago recently uh there was some protests somewhere where they were calling the waymo in l a certain

in l a and then they were just burning yeah during the anti-ice protest in l a which is so funny. They were calling them to a lot and like setting them on fire. It's so fucking funny. Why? Because Waymos were just bringing illegal immigrants to ICE detention centers or something? I think it's just about, you know.

It's just an extra thing. They decided to, someone was mad at Waymo. I mean, fair enough. I'm sure these like these massive companies are all intertwined. And I think, you know, like, for sure. There's a, there's a to like kind of mass, spontaneous violence. I think that those

kinds of people are good at picking out the right enemies in especially like in LA especially like an anti-ass ice crowd but the videos were fucking hilarious yeah yeah calling a Waymo and setting it on fire and I was like I want to do that in Des Moines Iowa and have the Waymo show up three days later and burn it and slide it on fire in front of my house yeah oh my god is there are there like cameras in the Waymo's yeah yeah of that like they pick up um all it's like there's probably like 10,000 cameras on I don't fucking know but they pick up everything they're gonna they're gonna start hitting people what wait until a 90 year old man in a test was he's a waymo he's gonna yeah yeah well let me just

say can I just say one thing I am not for waymos let's keep no jobs out of robots hands however a waymo would never sexually abuse you okay elaborate I saw this the and it says that someone is sexually abused in an Uber or a lift every 30 seconds. Okay. I absolutely do not believe that. Let me crunch the numbers on that

real quick. Globally? 30 seconds. Who conducted this study? Twice a minute. So that's 60 minutes in an hour. So 60 times 2 times 24 times

365. right that means one million fifty one thousand and two hundred uh uber sexual assaults happen per year feminist dot com august 11th feminist dot 20 20 uh 20 25 every eight minutes the crisis of sexual assaults and Uber rides. Okay, you didn't say 8 minutes. I think you said 30 seconds. Which is, 30 seconds would be millions. I'm correcting myself.

3,000 a day. 3,000 a day would be 30 seconds. I made a mistake. I was trying to bring some news and culture to this episode. I'm sorry. No, it's totally fine.

Oh, my God. Fine. I'll read another headline if you won't. Okay, well, Jack, why don't we do your jock breaking new segment? Jock, can you read everything? Everything like a newscaster. Yeah, yeah.

Do the intro, too. You have to do the intro, say what time it is. Extra, extra, read all about. Okay, kind of going paper boy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why don't you yap your flap and shut up, mister? Extra, extra, extra, from the Daily Male Female. Leonardo DiCaprio's woke pro-anti-fob bluffbuster is flopping at the box office amid conservative backlash.

People speak. tell me what what what fucking newspaper are you reading that movie just crossed 100 million dollars is the daily male female an actual subcategory no that's i think that's an amazing joke that jock made that i'm really happy about oh no he's right it's spelled f e m a i'll so i don't think it's that woke the movie i haven't seen it yet but i just think it's funny that like it's been out for like what a week or two and it's like people are already like It's too woke. It's based on a novel from 1990, and it's too woke. I mean, it is, like, it is doing really well at the box office.

It just reached $100 million, like, a week ago. That's so funny. Is that, like, a high number for boxes? No, not a week ago, like, a day ago. Yeah, it was, um, yeah, it's, that's, that's very high, Jacques, especially for, um, an art house movie, a movie by Paul Thomas Anderson, the director of Boogie Nights, you know?

I just thought it was funny that they were like this movie is like from the female section, why is it? Why are they concerned? The female section is the more woke section. This is by this article is by Jacques Peterson.

Chuck, is that your alter ego? Are you going to, is that why you're so tired all the time because you never sleep and you just become a different guy who's more right wing? Actually, I've completely been sleeping normally. Like, it's been almost like two or three weeks now, and I've been sleeping normally. Last night, last night was excluded.

I gave a guy a dab who I didn't realize. It was a guy that I used to smoke weed with a lot, and he had quit weed for two months. And I gave him on accident, like, the fattest dab possible. And he fell downstairs. And then, um, then he just was. like I can't move and then he crawled the fetal position and they started throwing up really it was yeah did he was like these aren't new these aren't these aren't these aren't normal dabs and I was like these are the dabs I

mean it's honestly I'm gonna victim blame it's his fault for a great take weed from you okay wait it's something that I I I don't think I've ever brought up on this show before but in 2022 um there was this company that um like the height of it's like when when right wing people kind of when when woke went mainstream on the right wing yeah and they were just able to call like anyone of a blue hair trans or whatever they were just calling everything woke yeah i think that was literally like the election or no 2014 kind of is the or 2016 no they weren't doing and woke i don't think had really breached containment at that point anyways like lives of

TikTok era you know like really getting like the cringe baiting um like big right wing accounts were just like we can post anyone with like blue hair or anyone who's trained to gay and we can just have so many people who are seeing this for the first time like freak out and it was all operating under the like descriptor of woke but there was this company that was starting at the time called Woke Alert. It's a consumer research company. And their logo is so fucking funny. So all they do, all this consumer research company does, is they send out texts to their, their subscribers.

So it basically, wait, it's basically an Amber Alert, but like instead of being like a child was kidnapped in your area, it's like a child. a seven i guess a 17 year old in community college is too young like in quotes right right right right right right yes literally like a non-binary barista spotted at 17th in kingman no but it's i wish it was more personal like that that would be absolutely insane but it is about companies who they um who do woke things yes wait we have to subscribe it's okay it is such a funny funny because they send out like one text every quarter like it's not often once every three months then yes i'll just get a text that says woke alert coles dollar trade disney nationwide and ups these five woke companies are still pushing

d-e i in three months that's what they get is five woke companies but by a new name quote unquote blogging to learn more visit consumer research dot org slash woke alert It's literally like It's one guy working there And he forgot until the day before When a Google alert Like a Google Calendar alert went off And he was like, oh my God, fuck

I don't know any woke companies Fuck fuck It's like who has a black CEO And then he's like There's another one Woke alert team mobile Spotify and IKEA European invasion These European companies are crossing America's borders

And pushing their woke politics onto consumers And then there's Delta Apple Microsoft Costco Sephora but this one that I got today it's usually major multinational corporations

yeah this one I got today almost made me cry woke alert chub insurance chub insurance is the wokenest insurance company prioritizing politics over consumers and it's spelled C-H-U-B

and I'm like who the fuck is Chubb Rodney Chubb the name's Rodney Chubb I've been working in the media industry for about 16 years now. I take away a minute of work every night. But I'm like, what did... Us in the media industry work at night.

It's Charlo Chubb. What did Chubb insurance do to be woke? Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, I found it. Oh, my God. Okay. Chub insurance, the wokeest insurance company. At a glance, one organization is supporting a cop killer. Okay.

Okay. More evidence of them. being woke is they have a 95% score the human rights campaign corporate inequality index Chubb Limited It's like you're in a cockcage

and you can't get fully hard Chubb Limited is an American Swiss company incorporated in Zurich and listed on the New York Stock Exchange so so fucking funny Chub Limited is definitely a cuck-run company

They put the CEO in a jester hat that says woke on it I need that a hat Chubb operates in 55 countries and territories and in the Lloyd's insurance market in London what the fuck is how do things work in England

I thought what is Lloyd's what is Lloyd's what do they do I know what the Lloyd Center is it's a ball and I thought they just looked at jewels and said this is worth a trillion dollars and they got stolen in a movie you know yeah anyways Jock can you

can you continue your breaking new segment and oh wait i do want to read a quote from this oh please yes from this article that i pulled up the jock was just referencing um the film by the way i've seen this movie it's it's amazing it's what you call it woke yeah it's i'm not i'm not i'm not i'm not i'm not by the way i just really quickly i'm not saying anything negative about it for oh i know sweetie i just thought it was i just thought it was interesting that it was brought up. Yeah, no confused. Yeah, no. It is a funny, yeah, it is a funny headline for the daily male female. It's the male female here with your scoop on the news. The film doesn't pull any punches when it comes to politics. Opening with a raid on an ICE detention

center to free detainees as government agents shoot at unarmed civilians. Something that I'm sure we all know would never happen in real life government agents shooting at unarmed civilians. never yeah it's uh the basic suggestion uh ben Shapiro added the basic suggestion is a conspiracy theory in which the united states is run by white supremacist christian nationalists and all people of color and a few nice incompetent fellow travelers like decaprio are going to take on that entire system yep that guy decaprio he's got it going on he's going to save us all I'm interested to see the movie solely because I have a piece of the, um, the merchandise. Well, you haven't seen it. It's been out for like a month.

I haven't seen it. What piece of the merchandise do you have? It's a, it's a little stick with the fake goatee to look like Leonardo DiCaprio's goatee. You wear over your face. Let's get some more news hits, John. Yeah. Please resume your, please resume your jock news segment. Place some news on us. Courtney Kardashian looks miserable on solo outings. after fight with Chloe in Kardashian trailer.

Now, this aren't... Chloe and Kardashian trailer. Okay, so I didn't think much of it until I saw the picture, which brought me a lot of curiosity, surprise, and intrigue. How fucking old this bitch looks now. Did you see the new picture of Chris, uh, Chris Jenner where she looks like... No, from a while ago. 35 years old.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But then I will, I mean, she does look amazing. First of all, she does look amazing. but that is that's one one of the best facelifts you can get but then two

there's still so much filtering on her like I saw some photos of her I saw some photos of her shortly after and it's like you don't really

look two years old anymore you kind of look like a seven year old with like a really good facelift which still looks I mean

there's a reason why she only went on club random with Bill Maher went if he allowed I listened to that entire thing I was driving to Where was I driving

Oh I was driving to Oh god You okay Jacques Oh at least you turned his mic off Yeah Sorry everyone you're not hearing the reverb On this coughing fit I realize you should probably stop yelling at him for coughing and burping

Because it is so funny It's funny when the reverb is on it and you're hearing on the show It's not very funny when you're in the middle of the center. It's so funny when I heard it for the first time today. I've never heard you edit the burps and I always heard people talking about the echo. To be fair, to be fair. I stole it from Hessa. Yeah. It's not. I'm not. No, but you were the one doing it. You, it's yours now. I, you know, it's like. Well, I started, I started doing it to, I was something I noticed from just listening back to every single episode and believe it or not, taking out a

much cross talk that happens on this podcast is that jock um constantly drops some of the biggest and longest ums and so it's the river on the ums always make me always make me laugh but anyways back to chris um what was i saying you were saying that she you saw a picture of her right right she doesn't look that young i guess i just completely forgot oh oh uh club rand Oh, my God. Okay. Yes. I was driving to Newport with Jen, and I, Club Random is some amazing co-listening, like listening to it with someone and talking about what's happening. Losing to it alone is like, I'm going to put a gun in my mouth, but... Oh, I listen to it alone, bitch. You're a fake fan. I'm a fake fan. I'm a fake. I'm a fake. I'm a

complete. I listen to the one with him and Woody Allen and him and Chris. The funniest thing with Chris was that Bill starts, like, smoking a giant doobie and, like, drinking tequila in front of her at, like, what is two in the afternoon? Yeah, 2 p.m. And she, um, Bill officer a hit, and she just goes, security. Okay. That's a queen, uh, queen. And she was so, she didn't know that Bill was a stand-up comedian. And he was so pissed.

She was like, wait, you're a touring comedian? He's like, um, so, yeah, like, I made his entire career to her. You know, I've never been married. I've never had a... He mentions that every single episode. Yeah, every single episode, there are three things he always mentions. One is that he has never been married, never had kids.

The other is that college campuses are indoctrinating people, they're way too woke and um the other is that uh he doesn't get vaccines but he believes he's like i don't know i just don't you know i don't think that they're bad but uh i'm just not gonna get them because i don't i don't know the science isn't in but when chris jenner went on if you were just listening ben um chris jenner only went on the show if uh under the stipulation that she was allowed to bring in her own camera crew bring in people to

put lighting in the lighting is absolutely insane in club random. It's fully like, it's fully basement. Yeah. It's first, it's for men that are 60 to 80 years old so they don't look old in that kind of lighting

and yeah, yeah, it makes them look older. Have you seen Christianer didn't bring in lighting to make herself look older. Yeah. No, I didn't think that i'm just saying like they're they're they don't care about what yeah what looks good on an yeah they're old men so they don't care yes yes um bent can i show you guys an image and you can make it the image for this episode um yes please one second i found this oh my god please play okay i have a clip of bill mar talking to wady allen just listen to this real quick we don't know what

i can do that's the whole point is that they're smarter than us by now we don't know what they're plotting against this. You know this, right? I mean, the robots are going to take over. But they also might keep us alive. Or they might kill all of us because we misgendered somebody. I don't think they're going to keep us alive. I mean, I don't think they talk about AI. And then Bill makes an insane pivot to talk about transgender. And Woody Allen clearly has no idea what's going on. I'll edit it in. Sorry, you guys get to hear it. It's so fucking funny. But Hesse, you have a clip. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to show you, I'm going to show you some of this clip. So this is Richard Dreyfus. And I want you to look at his, look how he's sitting. Look how he's sitting. I'm just going to mute it because this is all you need to see. Look how he's sitting. Look at, no, look at what's happening.

Look at what's happening. What is this camera angle? This is a classic, uh, look at how he's sitting. Oh, my God. Look at how he's sitting in this. Okay, I'm going to, I'll take a screenshot. Yeah, take a screenshot. For the listener, um, Richard Dreyfus is where your butt would normally

be in a chair it is basically his shoulders he's yeah he's more laying down and he is slumped yes yeah and he doesn't even smoke any of the weed that Bill has like it's crazy no I just took his screenshot but yeah I I love this I love

club random it's so funny jock let's get a couple are you okay jock yeah my mom was just calling me twice and I didn't know if she was something was wrong so I just is everything okay I don't even even now. I told her it was recording. She's go. Oh, wow. Okay. Oh. Your mom is Jerry Lewis.

The lady. Okay. Jack, please, I got to talk to you about something important. The audience audacity recording and. Oh, that's amazing. Period. Why don't you continue with, why don't you give us one more news story in the multiple? Let's get one more. Okay, hold on. I just pulled aside so many. well i didn't understand this so i'm not gonna i'm not maybe we can explain jfk secret nickname for swinging joan kennedy why jackie despised her marine callahan it's because it's capitalizes marine callahan at the end like that i don't understand who is joan kennedy i don't even

sorry i was really struggling to understand what that said i think it was because of your your cadence can you just show me the headline so i can read it yeah he just put it on the can you show me the yeah jfk's secret nickname for swinging joan kennedy why jackie despised her and then i think the source here no marine i honestly drug i'm with you i have no idea i said hey what the hell can you guys make your news a little easier to read i'm a little busy right was jfk swinger of Of course JFK was... I mean, JFK was just cheating on his wife. Yeah.

Yeah. Not really a swinger, per se. Yeah. Jackie O, I'll be honest. I mean, I mean, stylish woman. Yeah. Not very, not much of a looker. Okay.

Let's be nice to her. Let's be nice to her. First of all, the bitch is dead. So let's be a little nice to her. The bitch is dead. She looks like a Honda Civic with those white-haired eyes. Which I think

I genuinely think the bitch is dead are the last words of the first James Bond novel where he's talking about. Yeah. Absolutely. The bitch is dead. Yeah. It's a good James Bond,

Jock. The bitch is dead. Yeah. Jock, can you do the rest of the episode as James Bond? Why, yes, I can't. That's all. I'm losing it.

I'm losing it. I'm losing it. I'm gauging now. Secret Cajun man I'm a secret Cajun man Secret That song about me No it isn't Shut the fuck up bitch before I fight your dumb little Iowa

As you honky ass little hamburger You're not even a cheeseburger Okay Fucking plain ass Burger bun well done Speaking of We mentioned Ben Shapiro earlier and we quoted his podcast.

We have the This is a Patreon one, right? No. Have you joined on time? You would have heard my intro, and for the record, we just, I'll make a disclaimer here. I do not endorse any statement ever made by Jock Consulate. Oh, okay. So wait, wait, wait, hold on.

Before we continue anymore, is Ben Shapiro not Jewish? Um, he is. You got me there, brother. You got me. Then he's, in fact, a Jew. And I'd mean... Just say, the Jew. Well, it's because, never mind.

I've done my son. It's because why. It's because I called him that last episode. Okay. All right, fair. You got me again. You've got me in a quarter jock. Hassey, please continue.

Okay, so, yeah, the Golden Globes for the greatest podcast have been announced. So are Golden Globes doing podcast war? Yes, they are now. Because, I mean, it does kind of make sense in the sense that they do, like, TV and movies, I believe. And I think this is their first year of doing the podcast awards. And you can submit yourself, but only if, okay, here are the requirements. To submit your own podcast? Yeah, to submit your podcast, you need to meet a few basic requirements.

I'm sure we'll breeze past all of them. Yeah, of course, of course. You need to have at least six episodes released during the period of January 1st, 2025 on September 30th, 2025. Sorry, are your podcasts not releasing more than six pieces of content within that? I know. That's crazy. with each episode having a minimum length of 30 program minutes. Is anyone doing podcasts on our 30 minutes?

And you have to be on a pre-selected list of 25 podcasts that they already picked. Okay, kill yourselves. Kill your fucking selves. What's the point in even... Okay, the reason why they make those requirements is that there must be the most flunky celib a podcast that does like 10 minutes every two months. yeah that is that they didn't want to put on the list well no i mean when you when you see the podcasts that are on the list uh it's very funny it's very very funny it's very very funny

is last culture leases um no it is the joe rogan experience the megan kelly show the tucker carlson show period call her daddy uh barstool sports i didn't hear chapo or seeking her range was once. Candice. Candice Owens. Chappo is a 10 times bigger podcast than ArchDocke. You don't understand that. Okay, the last podcast list we did, Hessa, I don't know if you remember.

Yeah, none of those are on here. It was Time Magazine. And I'm not, you know, I'm not saying Megan Kelly, Tucker Carlson or whatever, are like good people, but they are undeniably some of the biggest podcasters in the game, Joe Rogan especially. I mean, Megyn Kelly, I feel like those numbers are inflated. You know, who's listening to the Megan Kelly podcast? You know what I mean?

Lots of people. Really? Yes. I do. That's the one podcast I listen to. And Candice Owens as well. She's getting like, especially after Charlie Clarkkeye, she's getting like seven million viewers an episode. It's not to say I like these people, but I do think they are good entertainers for what it's worth.

At least fucking Sam Anderson isn't on here. Who the fuck is Sam Anderson? These conserved podcasts are huge. And, like, for time to not include a single one of them, I was just, like, it's so fucking annoying that they're just like, especially after the liberal media was, like, trying to pin Trump's win on conservative podcasters. They're just being like, actually, the biggest podcast in the country is a podcast about sawdust. I'm like, shut the vibe. That's not true. I mean, some of those are on this list, such as stuff you should know.

Fuck, right. Pod Save America is on here. Pod save my asshole fucking jackets. Okay. wait this is something this is something uh okay good hang with amy polar is on here which more like a bad hang with amy shithead bitch i'm kind of rooting for her out of everyone on this i've nothing against her i'm just being mad that we're not on it um there's a podcast on here called mr ballin podcast strange dark and mysterious stories what is that is that

I've seen ads for it. It's just a guy talking about women being murdered, I believe. Okay. Cool. Right. Awesome. But I was thinking maybe there's also part in my take, morbid, crime junkie, call her daddy, of course, armchair expert with Dax Shepard, which I think is one of the only crossovers between this list and the other two lists we've done, Time Magazine.

The political center. Yeah, yeah. Wait, has a Dax Shepherd. That's that guy that was on My Name is Earl or something. He's married to Kristen Bell. That's the only thing I currently remember about him. He was in a movie called Without a paddle with Dane Cook. That was a big.

Dane, Seth Green. And the king, what's his name? He plays Shaggy in the Scooby-Doo movie. Matthew Lillard. Yeah, Matthew Lillard, my king. No more Scoopy-Doo trivia. Shut the fuck up. Why are you always so against us having fun?

Ben, can you name one villain? Name one villain that they caught on Scooby-Doo. Name one villain, and we'll drop it. If you can name one villain on Scooby-Doo. It was like a mummy. Okay. Name another one. You said one.

No. We'll start moving. But now the gold polls are moving. Okay, but name another one. If there was a mummy, I'll guess there's probably also a vampire or an ogre or... Be specific. A ghost. I remember them pulling the sheet off of a ghost.

an evil business, man. I mean, that's every single episode, actually. Right. It's just like anything that is in some kind of shroud that can be approved. Mummy, ghost. Yeah. I mean, the real heads will know about the minor 49er. Oh, my God. Don't get me started on the minor. The creeper. The minor 49er.

This is a guy who's like into 16 year olds, a 49 year old guy who's into 16 year olds. He's a minor. A 49 is a molestation. That's a police code for it. The minor 49er. Oh, soing Scooby. He's at the middle school again. What happened here? It's a crying child. And they're like, oh. Yeah, it's a 49-year-old guy holding a giant lollipop and a propeller beanie. Some names that I would have accepted was Charlie, the Funland Robot. You're Googling these bitch. I can tell you.

You're literally Googling. Yeah, I didn't Google any of them. I thought you're supposed to be, oh, just because do you think I'm a fucking idiot? Just because you put your hands in the air, doesn't mean your phone is in your lap? No hands. Yeah.

Wait, let's see how many you can name, Jacques. Keep your hands in the fucking air. Yeah, keep your hands in the air and name, let's see where it ends where you can't scroll any further down. Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. Show me your phone. He's looking at his phone right now. I'm not looking at your dick.

You're looking at your fucking phone Look at my dick I know you just scroll to your phone To get your last look at Scooby-Doo villain Jacques looking at his dick And being like The Terror, that's another one The tiny penis

Tiny penis Monster Oh not that tiny penis monster So I was thinking We could maybe write an email To the Golden Globes and get them to Oh we're not naming Scooby-Doo villains At knife point

No I think we're done with that We can name them to the Golden Globes Committee. Right. We can, well, why don't we can, we can include that. I'll get the email. Do you have an email for them? Yeah, I have it here. Let's write out the body and I'll send you the link afterwards.

Yeah, body. Oh, your penis is out. Oh, my God. My penis is not out of my fucking pants. It actually looks like the creeper. Shut the fuck up. My penis ain't out of my pants. All right.

My penis isn't out. I said my penis ain't out of my pants. But my podcast is out of your list. And that is what I'm emailing you about today. You know, trap house up about. Yeah, say that too. Sorry, my penis ain't out of my pants when my podcast is out of your list. And that is what I'm about to chopo your trap house.

Up with a knife. It's not making any sense. Yeah, yeah. make sense if you would we've never written an email like this that doesn't make perfect sense so i think we need to stick to um what what are say let's let's list some of the reasons they should pick us say uh no one that you listed is gay for real we are queer disabled veterans say one of us is disabled the other two are very not disabled we are a queer podcast one of us is severely physically and mentally and emotionally and emotionally say tell them I have a

142 IQ tell them I have about a hundred and a hundred bucks how much can they give me 140 IQ how much can you give me jock what do you take what are 142 jock can you describe what are give me give me get our get our podcast what we do here. Okay, here. Hold on. Get into three sentences. Yeah.

Elevator pitch. Elevator pitch. Our podcast comes from the heartland of all of the American culture. Sputing out one beautiful truth spigot into the hearts of millions. Mm-hmm. Our water will heal you and our words will heal you as well. Okay. Let us be the winner.

Pray. Let us pray But spell it lettuce L-U-L-E-T-U-C-E Classic L-U-L-E-T-T-C Dear carrot Please give us more vegetables

Dear carrot Please give us more vegetables Okay Your carrot What is that? What the fuck is that? What are you talking about? Is this watership down?

Like a rabbit with a carrot god that you're praying shoot. Jock, continue, please. Let's wrap it up. I'm coming back now. Wrap it up, and that means do a freestyle. Do a freestyle. Yeah, wrap, wrap, wrap. Here is my, I'll say here is my...

Kate Bush? I just want to see her bush. Poetry over. Keep going, Jack. Keep going. Okay, give me a second. Hold on. Let me take a sip of my water, and I need a...

I don't know. I want to, I want, can you, can you, wait, hold on, stop. My water, hold on, hold on, stop. I'm scared. This is the chorus. You've only got a few seconds. I'm scared of her transgender beat style. Jock, you're really flopping on the mat.

Who built the pyramids? We did. Who invented these peanut buttercuffs? We did. We invented beanie babies. We invented electricity. We are Ben Franklin's descendants. This is becoming a white nationalist

rants. These are really racist. What the fuck? And this is why we will say, this is why we will be Western civilization. Combined. This is why we've

combined. Why are you doing this to me? Why are you a perfect place to end up? Why are you doing this to me? I don't like that y'all tricked me into saying something that didn't mean something. Okay, and Ben, I emailed you the Golden Globes email address. You can just copy-paste that.

I'll send it right now. I don't know why we don't just send them something serious so that they take us seriously. Well, this is almost 90% your copies. Yeah, it's very serious, actually. I said before the episode started, that we should take this seriously and that we should actually try to become voted

into the whole of punch. We're just simply not big enough. Sorry. Yeah. I just don't think that you've even given us try and if you're not willing to try i don't think you're trying hard enough don't forget to sign it uh from jock onslin and then put jock's phone number and email and then right i'm gonna kill you i told you about this stop

ending emails in my name yeah my email and my phone number then they think they're from me not from you right so guys i have another a little thing we can do yes please um ben I love your ethicist messages, but I found myself asking, are there any gay kind of questionnaire type? How could it possibly be gayer? Yeah, yeah. So I... Them.com?

No, not them. Us, actually, is the email address of... Wait, that's so funny. Yeah. Them. Dot us, yes. But out.com, which I feel like is a more mainstream type of... Wait, I'm so sorry to derail this.

I have a funny aside here about them. Go ahead. in particular i don't that them not us i'm so fucking sorry i was at i think a lot of their a lot of their writers and i maybe even one of their editors listened to this okay i'm gonna wake this up i was at funny bar um and i was pretty hammered um not that long ago and was seeing seeing a lot of what was that nothing i said nothing if you're gonna say something I said it with that's very out of the ordinary. Why don't you go like to texting or looking at your penis, whatever you're doing?

I'm holding a fucking knife. I'm looking at a knife. Why are you holding? Why are you looking at a knife? That's the worse than both other options that you're looking at your penis and looking at your phone. When I, when I'm episodes, when I feel like I'm a little distracted, I hold the knife and I look at it and it keeps me focused. But then you can ask me that. Anyways, fair enough.

I was really shui-st at funny bar and seen a lot of people I didn't see in a while. and I ran into the newly anointed editor of them. I won't say his name. He's a very sweet guy, fellow Whitino. I found that out that night. But I was drunk enough to be like, so, what's your plan? Because it is a massive, I didn't realize they had, like, such a wide audience. They have a huge audience.

And I was like, speaking honestly, and I was like, oh, it's a little interesting that, because this guy's smart, he has amazing taste. he's miles beyond more successful than I am or will ever be but I was like what's your plan for this kind of decrepid and defunct and annoying no offense to any of them listeners

I think you'll probably or the them contributors or whoever who may be listening to this right now I think you'll probably understand what I'm saying but I was like Trump is an office this is a huge gay publication like what can you do to make it

like cool and he did have some amazing ideas and he took my phone number and I was like can I can my podcast do something on them and I haven't heard back but I haven't heard back

this while ago I know I know who you're talking about and I know that he follows me on Twitter and he's a very sweet guy I like him yeah yeah I love a lot I mean them does do now that I know there's a chance

that they could give us some of that it's not happening that they then cash it's absolutely not happening they do have some good every once in a while they have some good articles like whenever they do a movie article i check it to see if there's anything to make fun of and usually like they probably needs a fucking film critic has a no they have a ton they have a ton they have like kyle turner uh who does stuff for them but they they yeah they just did a great uh list of the 69 gays to war movies and it was actually a pretty i was checking it like let's make fun of it and but it's all it's a good

list actually right I do think he's actually making the website less cringy but anyways I'm sorry to derail your your thing yeah I went to um out magazine which is uh like it's them but like worse it's like

people magazine version of them perfect we have a new publication we can shit on oh yeah no I've been I've been searching for them for or not I've been looking at out first Yeah, it's literally who's on first. They are on first.

I've been looking at them for a while, their website. And they have a fantastic advice section called Go Ask Alex, where they ask Alexander Cheves, who wrote a great article called, will AI therapists be the thing that saves the queer community. Oh, come on. And this was August this year, late August this year, he wrote that. What was that a, what was his, did you read it? Yes, I read it.

It's basically like, there are too many, there aren't enough therapists in America. And studies show that AI therapists reduce depression in teenagers. I am looking at a photo of. this horrid horrid faggot right now and I'll say fuck you Alex jeep yeah fuck you what are you supposed to say to someone

that thinks AI is good exactly exactly whatever I tried to tell someone that thought AI was good I doubt this I doubt this gig I has any real thoughts in AI he's probably just doing this yeah yeah it's worse than even being like an AI like optimist

or like advocate if I recall correctly the the article opens with him saying, I went to a human therapist and it didn't really help me that much. Oh, my God. But here, but people send him questions and he answers them. I haven't read any of his answers

yet. I'm sure they're funny, but some of these questions are hilarious. Okay. Let's hear it. I hate hot gay men. No one notices me. What do I do? I'm gay and recently, okay, here's the thing I don't like about this. That was like literally my complaint about being queer.

Yeah, literally, this is Jacques sent this in. This, I don't like that they don't do cheeky little names, like homophobic in Houston or something, you know. In-celled Indianapolis. Yeah, yeah. I'm gay, and I'm gay. And recently, I started to feel very resentful or hateful towards other guys, the better-looking ones. I'm a bear in the community, probably not very attractive. Okay, it's going to change the voice to reflect that.

Sorry, but also I... They seem to have an easy time getting dates and sex. So it's a little Lenny. My choice is a slim. What's like going to the city? Sling blade? Sling blade. Unlike me, my choice is a slim.

Okay, I have this to say about bears. They are the most self-persecuted member, micro. um gay community they're also i can't in good to my friends agree with you i can't bears i'm sorry they are constantly the ones who speak about it not all bears most bears are living in iconic bear lifestyle like going to bear week and like in peatown and like you know doing whatever getting roided out going to the gym doing chem sex and getting ridded out they're like whatever bear lifestyle yeah but when they do speak up it's just like no one likes me because i'm and hairy and I'm like you understand that you have one of the most covetable body types that you've you what does anyone know about the gay community twinks and bears and yeah you're telling me that you have all of this cultural you have this cultural cachet that is literally developed around the fact that you're fat and hairy and you're complaining about how no one likes you and it's like no your personality is the problem it's not the body

gay men love a fat hairy god bear culture is some of the most unforgivable gay culture that is like i don't know i think bear culture what going to the gym fucking you know i don't like no it's fine i'm just like stop complaining about you're literally not persecuted for being a bear that's you know bear culture yeah yeah that i mean fat and not going to the gym and it makes me feel upset i'm i'm realizing ben that you probably have a very different perspective on this as a a gay man who is right i've never really seen you as being in the community quote and quote that's what i mean when i say that he's not like a normal gay guy i'm not like the other girls but i i do think

that there are worst categories such as um the twink who is like a twink who is like 28 years old and is realizing that he has like one year left of being like um that is the worst and then the second worst is time to pick up some weights or pick up the e yeah the second worst is a bear who refuses to acknowledge that he's a bear and is like actually i wear lipstick and i have a big hoop earring and uh wait hold on hold on yes yes yes yes they always have like one big curl like a baby and a cartoon i have something new to pitch for them dot com the evil baby from the simpsons that's Maggie's bar baby go ahead

baby bear baby go ahead jock it's out it's out.com but well I'm pitching this for them dot com so them dot us them dot us so it's a

obituary page only for twinks that haven't actually died oh that is a genius that's a really really good idea jock and it's a loop of angel by Sarah McLaughlin

playing in the background of the page there's a picture showing them at their skinniest when they were the most twink and there's a picture of them crying showing them at like the fattest right before they like the machine says too fat no longer twink no more entering the cock can i tell you how i'm seeing this here it's not i think you're thinking like video photo content i'm thinking it's newspaper spread even if it's on like digital platforms it looks literally the photos are in black and white there's a small obituary font there's the old english

at the top the title yeah it's either call i think the easiest thing to call is just twink death and um twink death oh bitch you aries like oh oh oh h space oh comma bich c h you harries oh comma bitch you errant to twink anymore whatever i don't know but you scary oh bitch you scary bitch you scaries. Anytime a twink becomes a doll or any time a twink starts lifting weights or anytime a twink gets old or gets fat or gets old

or starts looking like a lesbian boom, they're in it. Them dot us you are not, we are trademarking this idea right now. This is actually our idea. So if you want to do this you have to have us be the ones who do it.

And it's all their friends writing all their friends, friend, write the obituaries and like Dalton it was such a sad day when we saw Dalton pick up a 10 pound dumbbell we knew that we would be losing a friend Oh that would actually that would be so fun and like it's that and then it's like

that we get enemies to write the ones where they get old or fat right or it's like you submit the obituary for someone else that you've noticed stopping a twinge so it's just open bullying It's just full on open Bullying back the intra-gay

Oh, bitch you scarries. That's literally, this is the best. And I'm ignoring Jock's the strange concept that Jock had where It's a genius idea Where a robot A robot tells you

That you are no longer a twink. I don't know. I actually like that. Yeah, it's a robot. If you could publish a to oh bitch you scary a jock a i robot shows up and gives you your own death certificate it's a picture of patrick doran with vampire teeth in one that i have for jock's profile picture and it's like i'm the jacques bot nine thousand you're you are a way too fat too much no jacques you just came up with an

amazing idea the whole time ben thinks i'm looking down my phone i'm actually thinking of a genius idea to help save the queer community. Yeah, yeah, in Jacques's mind, we're complimenting him and he's like, yeah, those bitches shouldn't have been yelling at me for looking at my phone earlier. Anything good you do is an immediate

application of everything you've done previously. Yeah. How my toddler, my nephew, who's a toddler behaves. Anyways, let's get back to the bear guy. My choices are slim unless I go to the city. I live in a small town. Girl, they don't sound slim.

Yo girl, your voice don't sound slim It sounds fat as fuck Even then I don't get much notice I see these good looking guys With boyfriends getting the most Out of being gay I see these videos and photos

On YouTube and Facebook And it just makes me hate them all so much What should I do? Put down the damn phone Idiot Signed fat in Phoenix seriously no I made that up

that sounds like the beginning of Eeyore's suicide note or that sounds like my older roommate the one with Mercer that looks like a woman you have another brilliant idea here Jock for a community trend instead of calling the sad

disaffected you know miserable bears they're no longer bears you know what you call them Eeyors oh my god yeah this guy's an Eeyore

there's an Eeyore guys this is an Eeyer guys this is one of our patented episodes where we come up with a hundred really good ideas in row. This is even making release. I'm sending this right to them.us.

So truly. Dear dem.us, we've found a way to make your website relevant again. I swear I spent half the episode praising Candice Owens and the other half shitting on every podcast in the game. I'd be like, you need to put us on. Fuck Sam Anderson.

I don't I don't even think we should dignify this guy with any advice. But do you guys have any advice for him? Yeah, put a gun in your mouth and pulled a trip. Okay, all right. All right. All right. Okay.

I mean, I do, okay, I'll be honest. I do genuinely understand where he's coming from, but this is going to sound like canned and cliche advice, but everything you see, especially on a gay man's Instagram story, is not reality. So you do need to understand that gay men are some of the most self-produced individuals yeah i need no i need to read what he said because stop it is it is unbelievable is he like recommending an a i therapy no no no no oh god here's what he said stupid alex here is what he said Alex cheves oh fuck you Alex cheves i hate you or chavey or chevies

he's literally i'm looking at a photo of him he's doing it he has a dog collar on and he's doing a bear smile Anyways, please continue. Yeah, I'm, okay. Hate is a big word, a worrying dark word that is particularly loaded for men like us. Hate makes people dangerous and fueled violence is a daily concern for countless gay and queer men across our world. Are you he's shaming this? And sometimes, probably more often than we like to think, this violence comes from our own, from guys who feel as you feel. Are you someone the rest of us should be afraid of?

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. I'm holding... No, she literally said, kill yourself fatty. Yeah. I'm definitely not putting my knife down now. This guy's coming after all the twinks because he's a fucking fat twunkabunk.

He's been blown up to pieces by his fat ass. Okay. I mean, I'll tell you right now he's not, he's, this is bare on bear violence. This guy's kind of berry. I don't think, I'm looking at his image here. Oh my God. That is such a funny answer. See, this is what gay men are.

And, like, I understand the country is getting legitimately helmphobic, and I do lament that fact. But, like, gay men, like, sorry, what is the through line here that the, that the, that the person seeking advice, that the, that the, that the, that the, that the, that the, that the, that the, that the, yeah, has a, I was about to say he has a somewhat, um, well-founded hatred for gay men posting, you know, life. style content constantly. Yeah. Is Alex Chieves advice to him? Isn't even advice. He's literally being like, you are spreading hate to gay men

in coastal cities who are on vacation half the year. Are you going to kill me? Are you going to kill me? Literally, should I be afraid up for my life? You literally said that. Should we build a wall around fire island so you can't get it? Yeah. We should build a wall around fire.

Well, we can build a wall for other reasons, but not to keep this E.R. out. Let him lit. I'm, okay. Alexander, is a memoirist. First of all, you are not allowed to be a memoirist unless you've done other things that would facilitate you having a life that you could write a memoir about. If you're the sex columnist for Out magazine and then you write a memoir, it's like, what are you doing?

Hessa bless you for this. I mean, if anyone out there, I'm assuming some people who listen to the show, maybe we're familiar with my Twitter activity from like 2018 to 2022. I was only bullying gay male article writers for years, viciously, viciously attacking gay male article writers. And now I, since I became a somewhat successful independently, albeit, but media gay myself, I kind of stopped because I was like, let's not. Yeah. And it kind of just got boring, and I kind of bullied all of them, so I kind of ran out and stopped seeking for new gay men to mock because gay men also stopped being so tone deaf, gay article writers stopping so tone deaf and insane. Thank you for alerting me to this man's presence because he is, he's gay and out of touch in a way that you only saw gay male article writers be out of touch in 2020, or 2019 or 2019. literally writing an article

about how AI therapists can save gay people okay okay okay that's literally just a way for more gay people to commit suicide less like leading them into the chamber jocks do it jocks one up being dead serious right now I'm being dead serious right now sorry at the end of the day no one is this fucking sensitive no gay men are this fucking sensitive if you're getting therapy from AI

they're probably trying to subtly convince you to kill your yourself. This is my real take. Both of them are actually cut from the same cloth. The E.O. and the Alexander Cheves, they are, they are, they are gay men who are obsessed with victimizing themselves and weaponizing their self-inointed victim status to mandate sympathy and mandate sex on the E.R's part and whatever else, mandate attention on the part of Alexander Cheves. This guy, I'm on his, oh my God, I'm on his Twitter. you get do you want to guess where he lives um austin no uh san francisco the austin of gay men also gay men don't really live in austin but it's chicago wait let me let me guess let me guess let me guess it is it is gay men's austin um Dallas international oh oh um Berlin yes yes I write a about sex, feelings, music, and manhood. Then there's a star emoji. Columns at Out Magazine.

At her at Hinterhouse. Hinder House mag. And then also at Friendly Beast. Oh, of course he has a... Oh, God, I hate this. Maid. Diplo is the unlikely ambassador of a sexually fluid future. Wow, that article

ages real well, huh, Alex? Oh, my God. Why? Because Diplos said he got his dick sucked by a guy once. that's that's why no because he said he's not not gay diplo stole all the things from all the diplo abused the bounce community and this is why all our listeners that there have to be happy for this podcast because yeah are leading voices you know in a we spot this we see we hear diplo says that he's not not gay you know what we don't know what we do we

clock a stragg in 2019 what this guy is doing is some of the most sanctimonious saying that diplo is going to what usher in a new era of masculinity yeah gender fluid that guy made all of the women when he when they go backstage they were only allowed to come backstage if they were topless that guy is a fucking loser sorry again getting your dick sucked by a guy he's literally the straightest thing a man could do yeah oh my god are are we coming towards a ending or a beginning i mean i'm so titillated by Yeah. I mean, this is a well we will be returning to for sure.

Can I, okay, can we just end on this? So this is his Twitter. Of course, and I'm saying this as a man, my thighs are about this size. Of course, he has, you don't know what you're talking about. It's my body. This man has giant muscular thighs, of course. Ben does not have giant muscular thighs, everyone. This gat, okay, Hassi, can you describe, can you describe this photo?

So he's wearing a latex gas mask. He's like a gay Nazi. Yeah, it's like a gay Nazi. He's in a leather skin tight unitard with his penis out wearing a jackboots. That's latex, I think. Not leather, but. Latex unitard wearing jack boots. And then a full 1920s style gas mask.

Yeah, like a trenches, a trench warfare gas mask from what? World War I completely obscures his face and he is in the middle of a gym. Gay men's not the only one talking about straight pride. Yes, it's offensive and stupid. The organizers are troll. Stop giving them attention. June is for celebrating, remembering fucking loving and expressing. Oh, my God.

Oh, his croft is out in every fucking photo. Yeah, it's crazy. It's so retarded. These Elizabeth, the strange, um, boxer. he's oh my god like elizabeth the strange like the hot topic like yes the the white and black striped yeah his his white and black vertical striped uh like uh that was pretty old world of you uh briefs his white and black vertical striped briefs his thighs are so muscular that it looks like two exclamation points in parentheses basically let's hope he never gets a mesh top on or that or girl he has hundreds no No, well, not what those men need pierced nipples, because they're going to be ripping. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, yeah, yeah, okay, there's a couple things I want to talk about.

I'm scrolling through his Twitter. He has an aged gray pit bull, which is a dead. We are not making fun of the dog. We are not. I love this dog. Making fun of his bare face. Look at this. Oh, I hate this man so much.

He has, I hate this man. For the people at home. Ben just zoomed into a throw pillow with pictures of popsicles all over it, different shapes and color. daycare all this fucking freak his dog is wearing like

clothes southwestern uh india native american style uh hoodie that's a god and he has a he has a jacket that says sad dad's on it i oh my god dude

and a fan of you're asking you know kill yourself okay oh wow we'll go out on this wait wait wait i oh my god i've been in the hospital for six days, and I'm about to go under the knife. It's a common procedure, but I'm scared. If this is Jock getting his wisdom two, surgery. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I already hate you. If the worst happens, I want to say that I, that being a bent, cock-sucking faggot has been the greatest gift in honor. This is so heinous. It's crazy.

To the heathen gods, thank you. Too bad he didn't die from whatever. Cock He was getting inserted. The cockcage got stuck. This is him writing before he goes into an entirely elected procedure to get anal beads inserted into his colon. He wants to do it in a surgical environment.

Okay, he shared a poem. Let's end it. Let's close out on the poem. Some poems just break you every time. And then there's a photo of a poem. I love my friend. He went away from me. there's nothing more to say the poem ends soft as it begins i loved my friend lankston hughes

is langston hughes kind of a bummer note i don't know how to make fun of that one like langston hughes's friend died you'll fuck him too yeah you know what actually i do know how to oh god i do okay yeah let's end on this one it's a little bit okay this is okay okay okay we actually have a different poem here so there's it's him it's alexander cheves at the fulsome street fair the photo is taken from behind he's wearing um a leather harness on the top and on the bottom there's a leather jock strap and then there is a giant tail coming out of his butthole by tail it's just a dildo that's on backwards basically it's a strap on dildo there's a poem of a different type written on his back jock can you read this please i don't read german it's in fucking german he's

dine klein house dike in toffete dotech mish mech it a jepen give the mogen we're swinging these a cleaner mershanging i know that thing is swanging around your face does a little house mav oh watch this via holocaust like remember it's type of thing yeah damn we don't not of us speak german so also he's completely american yeah i don't yeah this is he looks kind of cute in that pic

i'm gonna be on oh it's kind of cute shut the fuck up bitch why don't you go to berlin and suck his cock you fucking traitor ass bitch hey bitch why don't you shut up hey bitch why don't she shut the fuck up okay i i if i stay on this

twitter will i'll just yeah sorry are you done interrupting or can i talk well i yeah go ahead go ahead go ahead but you can continue you know how to make one of lynxon hugh's poem yeah because langston hughes only lost one friend uh fucking um lucinda williams lost like 50 of her best friends she names like three dead best friends in between every song she plays have you read her memoir jock her memoir is it's it's it's it is it is it is one long obituary no it's just like oh bitch you scare it's a no bitch you scare and then daddy died and after daddy died mama kept being crazy and then she died too and then i made out with

ryan adams once and then he never talked to me again and then he died too it's like so so fucking funny um but yes lynxen hughes only had one friend that died Ben, why don't you plug what's on the screen right now that I'm seeing? Oh, God. Two great friends of the podcast. Well, I need to make sure that gets uploaded okay. Oh, okay. Okay, well, so I just wanted to bring something up.

It's the one time I'll be kind of serious at the end of this. A friend of mine's brother is one of the members of the second wave of boats that were part of the flotilla attempting to deliver. humanitarian aid to Gaza and are now being held illegally in Israeli prison. I'm sure a lot of people have heard about this. Find a way to go to your local

elected official. Wait, Chuck, what's his name? I think they got released yesterday. A lot of them are in Jordan now. I'm not going to say his name out in the podcast. Is it David Adler? No. Did you see the picture of David Adler and Caroline Polichick after he got released? Well, I asked at 1.30 and I asked

to my friend whose sister this is. I might be wrong, but I think they've all been released. I don't know. Well, just in case. Yeah, please. Anyway, so this flotilla is attempting to deliver humanitarian aid to Gaza and they're being illegally held in Israeli prison. Please contact your local elected officials

and demand that these prisoners are released and that we end this blockade. It's just imagine if your brother was trapped. in a dangerous place trying to make a difference for people who can't make it like who like you know what i'm trying to say no yeah yeah yeah like just think they're incredibly brave people doing a completely noble thing i was like wow that's that really takes like a huge amount that's doing something so if you want to help these people do something do something by calling your local elected officials and demanded these people on the second flotillo can you where i'll talk to you

after we should get his local yeah i'll get more information i just don't want to i didn't want to like give oh out i didn't want to give out his private name you know yeah that makes yeah but yeah no it's insane it's so fucking crazy i'm just like i mean on top of the genocide they're enacting i'm like they're now they arrested citizens from spain italy greece sweden the united states as well i'm just i mean they've been committing war crimes this is international war crimes and i'm going And blocking these people up as a crime as well, but I'm just like, this is now an attack on like the citizens of a sovereign of sovereign countries. And I'm just like, how long can these Israeli dogs, these pieces of shit? Like how long can they continue to just drag everyone into their evil, evil scheme? It's, it's just so fucked up. And I'm like, this is. I just, it's really hard to put into words, but it's scary what they're able to get away with every single day.

And what they're able to get away with continues to grow and grow and grow in scope. And there's a reformatting of international law, which is always fraught and like somewhat of a smokescreen. But like even the the artifice, even like the veneer of the laws that ostensibly keep the world stable are now going to have to like reformat. post this genocide and what does that say it's they're going to they mean nothing basically well they mean nothing

but it's going they're now going to set like legal precedents and like even if it's not legal precedence there's like somewhat of a precedent there for them to just do this shit everywhere to drive us into or Iran and like blow up the whole fucking world

because they're complete psychopaths but yeah I I do think they're all free now I'm not sure but yeah anyway

David Adler is at least which David out but David Adler crossed the border into Jordan with like 130 other yeah so I think there I think that was the last of all that could be wrong anyways thank you all for listening today thank you all so much for listening and if you want to book joc to play anyway oh yes my email is yay very fun at gmail.com that's why a y very fun at gmail.com I'll do weddings I'll do funerals I'll do comedy events all right bye everyone Bye you. All you got to be used to be used to be cars,

cause, cause, cause, cause, cause, cause, Because, cause, cause, cause, You know, I'm going to I'm going to be the kids, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys.