Seeking Derangements - SD 448 - Serving Life

Episode Date: October 24, 2025

Hello Seekers! Ben here, today Jacques, Hesse and I welcome everyone's favorite Latina Baby Grinch, George Santos, back into the free world, then re-cap the NYC mayoral debate, and read an article about how and why f*gs are marrying their hags. Plus Jacques gives Malala a lesson on how to take a bong rip without triggering past traumatic events. Also, watch Kay Poyer and Essence Thomas on last week's Interior Motives, after you listen to this of course.

You, you know, you make me You make me very much, you make me for leaped, oh, my little, oh, my little, oh, you. You make me You make me very much You make me very My child And that is love

And that is love Oh my mien That is love That is love Hello, everyone, welcome to a free episode of seeking derangements. It's Ben. If you like what you hear, go subscribe to our Patreon, patreon.com slash seeking derangements. I'm here with Hessa. Hello, Hessa. Hello.

How's it going? Good. I'm a little sick, but whatever. What's new? You're always a sickening mama. Period. Exactly. Well, yes. And Jock is...

Jock's on his way. Who knows? He said he had a tummy ache, so... Fair enough. He had a bit of a tummy ache. He said, I'm going to lay down. My body is... What did he say exactly? I mean, this can be a new segment. We can just read why Jock is late,

because there's always there's always something last time it was that a guy puked all over his house last night and he was presumably cleaning up vomit for nine hours which yeah or forgot to until the morning it's like i'll just take care of it later i'll let it dry it's easier to pick up when it's dry oh my god it's 359 i got to clean up that puke um yeah he just said his body is messed up which is scary. Anyways, speaking of someone's body who might be messed up

from the past few months, George Santos is out of prison. Got a full commutation from... Fuck them old people, dude. Fuck them. Donald Trump. What do you think, Hessa? George Santos is released.

He's free. I mean, even more... It's going to be funny for him to go on those podcasts where people talk about what prison was like, you know, the guy being like,

I saw the first guy in there and they were like what are you an an nonce or whatever the fuck like Welcome to work Diva Hello, how's going today Hey Can you make sure you're coming through your microphone

Real quick please Thank you Diva Jock we were talking about George Santos being released from prison Well duh I hear about every fat person That gets out of prison You hear about every fat person

Who's let out of person Is there a support group or something You meet them at their house? Okay. Yeah. We all go eat at Chili's every Friday, whoever got out the Monday before. Sen, you're there every week.

Yeah, I'm there every week. Are you excited to see Georgie? Well, I'm not in prison every week. I'm just part of that support group that helps fat people get big full meals when they get out. Yeah. Right, but George is a fat gay man who's now at a prison. So presumably. Yes, yes.

And I told you he was at the Chili's meeting. Oh, you already saw him. You already saw him. Who else was there? honestly I didn't memorize everyone else's name I don't mean to sound rude to the support group I just was kind of excited to see it was the skinniest one there

I'm gonna be honest and I'm not even saying this because I knew his name it was George it's the only fact that you can think of who got out of prison recently which fair enough I don't know if I can think of one well no there's several people in the group and there were several people at the meeting I'm just saying he was the only celebrity I could

you know what so of course how funny would it be if Elizabeth Holmes got out of jail and she was obese. She was like huge. People were like, what the fuck? I mean, her, Jen Shaw, and Galane are probably having the key

of a lifetime. Oh my God, can you imagine? They're in the same jail together? Yes. This is what Donald Trump said about George Santos's release. George Santos was somewhat of a rogue, but there are many rogues throughout our country that aren't forced to serve seven years in prison. I started to think

about George when the subject of Democratic Senator Richard Da Nick the Dunang Dick Blumenthal came up again As everyone remembers Da Nang I believe that's a reference to Vietnam I have no clue stated for almost 20 years

Here we go that he was a proud Vietnam veteran having endured the worst of the war watching the wounded and dead as he raced up the hills And down the valleys Blood streaming from his face He was a great hero He would leak to any and all who would listen

And then it happened he was a complete and total fraud he never went to vietnam he never saw anything in vietnam and he and he never experienced the battles there or anywhere else his war hero status and even a minimal service in our military was totally and completely made up this is far worse than what george santo's did just some random guy he remembered and got mad about no offense but this is some very me coded behavior to be like not to get to change To change the anger deferrence to someone that's... Forget who you're mad at while letting someone out of prison. Well, yes. And then remember that you forgot and then try to connect the two events as being somehow similar. I would be a great politician. Let's just be very honest.

Let's be very frank. Yeah. The amount of people I'd be pulling out of prison bringing the Chili's. It would be a lot of fat people. I'm starting to feel... I'm starting to think that there's maybe a chili lobby group that's... pressuring you well honestly I want us to go

to other restaurants that's what everyone votes on once a month do you think big chilies is putting is pressuring them or do you think there's any kind of underhanded dealing going on? It's big jillies

big jillies I work here I think there's some kind of drug in the food the way that these people come out here once a week every month they come straight from jail and they don't want pussy they don't want they don't want

they don't want a real drug they want chilies okay is there just the chilies across from the jail well no not even it's actually on the opposite side of town so it makes it even harder to get up to okay period interesting to be to be to be to be very serious an uber from my house currently where i'm at in the saint streets to the chilies on the other side of the town would be twenty dollars so you'd be paying $20 just to go to the to the chilies. And you have spending another $35, $40

there. And it's in the swamp, so you have to make the rest of the last two or three miles of the journey on foot, right? Right. Two or three hours on boat. Okay. Or if you're lucky, you can take an alligator. It's a little quicker. Okay.

Period. Classic. Donald Trump continued his computation of George Sandals like this. He said, This is far worse than what George Santos did. And at least Santos had the courage, conviction, and intelligence to always vote Republican. George has been in solitary confinement for long stretches of time. And by all accounts, has been horribly mistreated.

Therefore, I just signed a commutation, releasing George Santos in prison immediately. Good luck, George, and have a great life. Period. Have a great life. Do you think that Donald owes George because Donald got sucked up by George once? And this is like, he was like, if I end up in prison, you better get me out. I mean, Donald Trump is clearly just commuting his, he said it there. He's like, I'm giving you a full commutation because you've always supported me.

Yeah. It's really that simple. Yeah. If you support him, you can just do whatever. Like, what was it? What was George Santos's crime again? He stole a bunch of old people's credit cards. He defrauded a bunch of people.

There was like campaign finance stuff. At the end of the day, I mean, I. Given that campaign finance is basically one big scam to begin with that is completely destroyed any semblance of American democracy, I don't really care that George Santos was, like, defrauding, like, Long Island moms. It doesn't bother me one bit in the slightest. I don't care that he's not in jail. Whatever. Let him out. Let him in.

Well, do me a favor. Let him out. Let him go. Open the door. Let him in. that do you like that song I did like it I was just thinking maybe he should just be able to go in and out

as he pleases yeah a sort of there's like a happy medium here I don't think he was having fun in there he did he did talk about how he was forced to desoltering confinement which is extremely fucked up like no one should be in that period

do you think it was just because he was so annoying it's probably because he was being I mean he's a stunt queen it's basically why he's in jail was for stunting he's a size queen too he was stunting too hard and went to jail for that and i can't imagine that that kind of disposition carries over well into prison where you are literally like you know subjugated and curtailed and i don't know i don't feel like you want to be stunting that much in prison so yeah i do and i did and i stunted i stunted myself right in and right

out of that place. And I was tried as an adult and I was there three and a half weeks as a 17 year old. George Santos can stand to be in there a little bit longer. He's not even defrosted. He was in there so quickly. I think he was in there for longer than three weeks. I think he was in there. He's definitely in there for a matter of months. Yeah. Yeah, but as a 17 year old, it's like dog years. Me being, me being in jail at 17 for three and a half weeks is effectively the same as me being there for an entire five months. He did

immediately get back on cameo which is iconic. There was a cameo like auto email that was like I'm back on cameo and then he also told the press that he was too traumatized to make any public appearances. That's so funny. He's so cool. I fucking

love him. He's hilarious. Yeah. How much for his cameo is going to be do you think? Maybe a thousand dollars for one? That cameo price went up, diva. Oh, yeah. Booking one up. No, I mean, I'm making a joke, but I'm sure his cameo price is going to go up, of course. Yeah.

It does kind of beg the question, like, what is next for George? Because before his prison sentence, he was, I mean, he was on Z-way. He was on podcasts. I believe he even started his own extremely short-lived podcast with, like, some right-wing diva queen. I doubt he'll bring that back because it wasn't very good. I did see clips of it and it didn't, they didn't seem to really get along that well. But he has, I mean, full commutation.

He has the eye of the nation on him right now. He can kind of really do anything he wants. I, my suspicion is that he is going to do what most gay men who are of a mischievous nature would do. fail he will probably just do a podcast or do cameo or like maybe write a book but i don't he's not going to reenter politics that scam has been juiced for him i think maybe in a few years i wouldn't rule it out completely you know what i mean depending on how much the book sells probably yeah yeah yeah exactly what would his book be called serving a life serving life is serving a serving life at the cunt factory

My life on the F list and then parentheses fag list Fat fag list His book should be called a double F fat faggat F Double F I got two problems with me

The double Fs I'm fat and I'm a fack Actually triple F has a better rig to it should be fat fucking faggat Triple F that's like What if it was called Double F, and the cover was him with huge fake boobs on?

That would be... Hi, everybody. I'm George Santos, and I'm the fattest faggot in around town. Jacques put on a little pig snout for all the listeners. Sorry, it's a prop from show pig. I just saw it next to me. I thought it would hit harder, but y'all didn't laugh at all. I was kind of concerned as to what was going on, but no, that's hilarious.

Do you want to do it again? And we'll laugh. Yeah, let me try. Okay, I want to really like, pretend that you. Just do it. Take two. Take two. Come on.

I didn't. The joke was stupid. I didn't like it to begin with. Jock's headphones are off. Oh. Hey, you people. Hey, you stupid people. You, you card.

Oh, my God. These jabs and jibes of yours. All right. All right. Thank you, Jock. amazing George Santos impression I think but yeah I mean I I'm happy for him just because I like seeing gay men get off scot-free it makes me happy what can I say nostril I just put on my nose smells like the first show big I did it was a little a little smelly in there period oh my god been looked back at him like he could like looked for an

exit like he heard that and he like looked back like where's the exit period is your is your breathing okay no it's i'm hearing every single breath you take it and it's like talking to a ventilator right now um no um i'll tell you all what happened i think i gave myself sleep apnea last night after oh good god oh come on jock like what do you what do you mean do you like how much did you eat I had a feast of Lebanese food and then I had half a box of chocolate granola and then I had a bag of lime-flavored chips and then I had a bag of salt and vinegar chips

and then I had a half of box of H.E.B. Pecan, sandy cookies. And then I had maybe like nine or ten Majuel dates. And then I had what else? I had

like maybe Taco Bell in the middle of the night too. Two Mexican pizzas. Two crunchy tacos. Beef. I had... And so you ate so... I had a smoothie last night.

Don't give them attention for this. Don't give them attention for this. I had a smoothie. I had three bings. I had... I'm no longer rewarding this behavior of any attention at all. I had them throughout the day. I was eating it all.

I ate two beans at night. I had... I mean, at least 300 milligrams last night. I drank Delta. nine randomly too don't get don't get mad don't look at the back like you're looking at some time

some clock saying jock hurry up you're not entertaining you I told you I'm not giving you any no I'm not entertaining this not giving you any attention you know what Chuck I think it's great that you did that I think it's great and you should keep good doing it you have so you're breathing you're breathing

like Tony soprano right now and it's someone who loves you and wants you to be healthy and happy, I'm disturbed at the diet. Yeah, I forgot that telling you that it's good, that you're doing that only works for reverse psychology when Ben does it. Yeah. I think what will work is just literally zero attention. So I'm going to pivot to another story.

My ankle doesn't hurt, so I don't have gout. That's amazing. Thank you. Headline that literally took my breath away when I saw it. So your pussy off. Period. Literally took my breath away when I saw it last week. It's kind of old news.

but it is extremely relevant to this show so I wanted to bring it up how smoking a bong brought back the trauma of being shot by the Taliban an exclusive extract from Malala Usafsi I don't know how to say Usufasi's memoir sorry she's iconic enough that she just goes by one name

they threw the second name in here and I'm like what the hell Oprah Who but Malala Yusuf Tsai yes Jock what do you think I think that Who's Malala? I don't know.

I don't know her yet. You don't know her yet. You just started the beginning of this story. Hess, you know who Malala is. Yeah, of course. Yeah. I don't know. Context clues.

Context clues. We're going to play a little game here. From the headline alone, do not Google. What do you think this woman is known for? She took a bong rip and remembered being shot in the head by the Taliban. Delusional? I mean, that's my first thing. I don't.

It didn't happen. I don't, I mean, honestly, I'm like, how does someone who has access to weed also was the ones in the Dalavan or shot by them? I don't think you could be a woman in the Taliban. I've been watching videos of this girl who goes and hangs out with the Taliban and other, like, illegal groups of people. Afghanistan did open tourism, yes, and you can't go. I mean, the Taliban is just like the government now. It's not like that crazy. Yeah. But what do you think?

Your thought is basically the television. seems kind of chill and this lady's lying they wouldn't shoot someone in the head I I changed my old DJ name from Taliban Twink I I'm not

I am not associated okay period I love DJ Osama bin Laden iconic Brazilian DJ Oh absolutely He does some stuff with Tommy Cash Bolo ha ha Bolo

his songs. You know the stuff he does with Tommy Cash? Yes. I knew him before Tommy Cash, not to brag. Well, I know before Tom.

My name is me. And I have the tiny abducting and I'm fat I'm stupid. Don't talk about yourself that way. Anyways, so no comment

on Malala doing a bomb rip and remembering getting shot. Well, I'm like, maybe you shouldn't smoke, bitch,

if that's all the first thing you think about. I mean, that's a good point. That is a good point. Completely fair enough. I will say, I will say I've never been shot, but I... I've been shot at.

It does feel like that when I'm on weed. I've been shot at and I still play shooting video games all the time. That scare me. You know what I like to do? I turn all the music in the video game off and I turn the gun and sound effects volume up as high as I can. And out of the percentage on my TV that the volume can go up to, I go up to 70%. And I turn it up.

sounds like a gun is going off in my room and that's how I feel any any advice I mean you're a marijuana advocate essentially is there any advice you would give to Malala on how she could maybe enjoy weed without remembering the yeah stop trying to stop trying to rub your trauma all over our fun time why don't you go and get better before you start trying to ruin weeds reputation so you think you are in a better you're doing better than Malala right now maybe yeah who honestly that's a Really good question. Who has more trauma currently in their life? I'm going to guess the woman that has a real life experience with the Taliban. She actually seems like she's got a pretty iconic life.

I saw a video of her and her husband. She has a sexy-ass husband. She's like on speaking tours. Like she's completely a part of like the global liberal intelligentsia. She actually hasn't said anything about Palestine, which is crazy to me. Yeah, that's why. Oh, this, this bitch has a partner. she's not lonely

well then I'm suffering more well then I'm suffering more I'm lonely I don't have anyone continue until next month and then I don't I don't need this bullshit what's happening next month

you're getting someone someone is coming to see me for a date okay let's go on a date I'll see you in one month not in a month it's less maybe

maybe he doesn't fucking know I do. I do know. I do know. Don't you act like I do. I know how this Muala bitch feels. Not because I wasn't in the Taliban or I didn't get hit by them. Whatever happened to her. I'm sorry that Muala smoked the bong and she got sad. That is not my problem. Mool-L-L-L-A. That sounds like, Chuck, that sounds like one of your relatives, your obscure relative, Mool-Lala. Moolala gonzoling you get out of this bathroom right now and get to the kitchen. He's screaming so lot of his glitching. Grandma's going to be here by 10 p.m., you buy you boogaloo. Grandma's going to be here by 10 p.m., so get the gumbo ready.

A 10 p.m. dinner with grandma. Speaking of being shot, I don't know if you guys saw the mayoral debate, but Curtis Silwa, who. Slewa. Slewa. Sorry. Cooahua. Put some respect on his pussy. actually very sorry jojo siwa's uncle curtis siwa who is running for mayor of new york city on the

republican ticket faced off against zora maudani and governor quomo former governor quomo um he i mean i always been aware of curtis's vibe i've actually met him once on mulberry street and he is extremely frenetic but just like classic old school it's phonetic mean crazy classic old school new york city crank um yeah i he has like 500 cats 500 cats was a guardian angel is invented the guardian angels oh oh i know exactly who you're talking about now the guardian angel guy jojo's uncle he found any opportunity to mention being shot by the gambino family five times in the back of a yellow cap which i did not know as part of his story but i was like this is so relatable and endearing to find

any opportunity to talk about being shot because if I got shot once yeah oh how's your day better than the day I got shot yeah exactly how's your meal it's not a gun pointed at me like you would never shut up

about being shot at you don't see me talking about every day you've mentioned it twice today you've mentioned it twice in this call because we because we've been talking about gun violence when were you shot at yes you do have a point

you were shot at 17 I was either at 17 or 18 leave a good drug dealer's house um after stealing something and then another time when I was like 21 22 be fucking with the wrong

people lessons to be learned people don't steal from drug dealers Don't deal with that. Don't fuck with the people that you know have a gun. It's just not even worth the risk. And if you need to hear that, you might have some other things wrong. Let me just say one last warning. If you're running in the middle of the night and it's pitch blackness and you can hear the gunshot coming off towards your direction, this just means that you need to gravely change your life situations. Right. I agree. So he mentioned being shot twice in the debate. This is not the clip I have here today. He also mentioned, being shot on the breakfast club which he's is there video of him being shot he's on the

breakfast club it I really recommend listening to him on the breakfast club like the black radio show yes Charlotte made the god DJ envy and just hilarious I love the breakfast club I listen to it all the time and I yeah my biggest dream is to get on the breakfast club they don't take my calls what I would love to I love you would slay I would oh my God it would be fucking amazing what would you talk about what let's do a practice run. Jock, you be Charlene the God. That'll be just hilarious.

So, Ben, what do you think about Azalea Bakes talking about Israel all the time? Well, I think it's really funny that, you know, she went there and was saying all of this stuff about how much she loved Israel. She changed her name on Twitter to her, the Hebrew translation

of her name. Charlemagne, are you okay? It sounds like you're dying. Yeah, Charlemagne, are you okay? Actually, let's go to a song. Let's go to a song real quick. Ben, Mr. Mora? You're tanking. You're tanking. You're doing terrible.

DJ Envy, Charlemagne, he seems like he got hit on the head with a giant animal. Don't worry about it. Don't worry. Commercial break over. Ben, tell us what it was like to be shot at. I was never been shot at Charlemagne. But if I was ever shot at, I think it would probably be for defending a black man from the police. Period.

Now, time for your freestyle. Okay, no, we're not doing that. Okay, now, time for your freestyle. Ben's never doing a freestyle in the show. That is jock work, not Ben. Why won't you be brave enough and responsible enough to do a freestyle like me? I don't want to. That's simple.

Let's get to the clip here from the debate. You're fake. Everyone leave in the comments if you want Ben to do a freestyle. Let's get to the debate here. This is, he does not talk about getting shot in this clip, although, like I said, he does bring it up all of the fucking time. This clip is, I felt like I was having a fever dream. I'm just going to play it for you guys without any context. Okay.

Okay, gentlemen, New York City loves its parades and the mayor is often front and center. Oh, God. You have all said that you want to be mayor for all New Yorkers. So will you march in all the parades that mayors have traditionally marched in? Or are there any that you would boycott? I want to know what you two think, or what you two would. say to this question all the parades well i would first this question would catch me up guard because i don't have a comprehensive list of all the parades on off the top of my israeli pride

parade ended right yeah this was honestly this was honestly a set the reason why this video is so like strange and seems like that a left field is that this is like the worst attempt to try to get soron to say i'm not going to any israeli affiliated parades they did fail at that I bet you anything here's my guess here's my guess right Cuomo says he's not going to march in the gay pride parade he can't say that that'd be crazy I think like that seems to me like something he might say okay okay Cuomo's like I refused to walk in the Parkinson's parade this year me Michael J Fox had a really big falling out I refused to support his industry honestly business anymore very good guess um the most the most the most

most homophobic one on that stage is jock are you okay oh he muted the most homophobic one on you did that one is laptops are shaking from the yeah geez um god i mean the most homophobic one is definitely quomo because curtis leewa has always been an ally to the gays and the dolls and you know he has had he's like accidentally had sex and i'm not saying a trans woman he's actually had sex with a cisgendered man. I would absolutely believe. Yeah, I mean because he, um, there was a program to like help trans women, uh, be safe on the subway where he,

he would like assign guardian angels to them. That's so fucking cool. Yeah, isn't that, that's baller. Um, but, you know, don't vote for him though. He's the, he would be my number two out the gate. Yeah, he's my number two. I would vote for him over Cuomo for sure. 1,000%. 1,000%. Cuomo, more like homo. He, I had, well, I'll bring it up after the clip,

but there was some very funny stuff about Curtis and Cuomo's beef. Let's keep watching here. Let's hear the responses. Mr. Sliwa. I think a mayor has a responsibility, whatever possible, the march in parades to celebrate whatever that parade is performing. I've been a grand marshal of the Pulaski Day parade. I was proud to celebrate my Polish heritage.

Are there any that you would boycott, though? I just need to move this along. Excuse me? Would you boycott any of the city's parades? No, I would not boycott any parades. Mr. Cuomo, would you boycott? To be available to all racial and religious groups. No, I wouldn't unless they discriminated.

Okay. Mr. Mamdani. There are many parades that I would not be attending because I'd be focusing on the work of leading this city. Period. Which parades? I mean, perfect, perfect answer. Of course. It's like such a stupid setup.

The way he always fucking nukes and nukes every question, every setup. No, his media training is really. good and I mean it's not that hard when these are the questions from the media well the seawag guy as soon as he starts answering it he goes yeah he like answers in a fucking different tongue

right right yes he does he he he's he does answer it in a different language let's keep going I've already missed a number of those parades because I've been trying to speak to his name as possible okay I don't have the list of all the parades I've missed wow that's all right

let me ask you this let me ask you this Are there any parades that don't exist that you think should? Are there any parades that don't exist that you think should? And that is where this video becomes completely disorienting. And like, it's almost like, it's almost childlike. Okay. Which one says, which one says Cajun Parade first, though? So we have Jock.

We have Jock's answer. Jock thinks the Cajun Parade should exist. It does not exist in New York City. What? The best of my knowledge. I don't think there's a station parade in New York City. Hessa, what do you think? I, well, first of all, I would just say what the parade I would create,

and it would be the doll, the dual parade, okay? And it's only dolls, but you have to, it's the most exacting standards. Like, I wouldn't make it in. Angel Money is probably the only person we know that would be able to be in it. Oh, that kind of doll. Yeah.

He meant like Annabelle, American Girl doll, Barbie, Polypocket, Bradstalls. Okay, Jacques. And they're, so it would be like five or six people. They would shut down every street in the city. Love that idea. Oh, my God. You just get three of y'all on one corner. It's very, it's very fun.

That there's only five has to, because I'm imagining them for some reason it being like 70 feet tall. Like they're just, it's like, attack of the 70-foot duel. Mothra versus Godzilla kind of style is what I'm seeing here I love just whatever weird psychological

thing going on in your mind that you immediately imagined like oh there's five dolls Yeah Those were the first dolls in history too You know Godzilla

Mothra Mothro of course famously a duel Godzilla is actually a T-boy And Mothra is actually A trans cat Or what's to call tradcath also

Catholic racist tradcath doll of course yeah yeah we've seen it before are there any parades that don't exist that you think should is such a dizzingly stupid question to me

but if I were to do a parade it's like a high school president question yeah it's no it's like do you ever see those TikToks of that like twink in Tompkins Square Park interviewing children and he's like yeah what's your favorite candy this is a question that he would ask those kids yeah is there a parade that doesn't exist that you think should yes exactly the puppy poit or whatever which yeah I'll say this will be my answer

Chihuahua parade I would agree I'm against that if I'm afraid of yes thank you once I'm president I'm rebanning and Hessa it's it's actually a part of the doll parade all these giant dolls have tiny little chihuahuas with them and there's hundreds of chihuahuas but they're but they're to scale so the the chihuahuas are like eight or nine feet tall compared to the 70 foot doll oh love that can i make a can i make a new american rule a new law please okay i say that we free all the pit bulls agree and and we we lock up all the chihuahua disagree and we take the same exact rhetoric that the way We treat pit bulls and we treat chihuahuas exclusively like that. Sorry, do you think chihuahuas don't have extremely chihuahua-phobic rhetoric launched towards

them daily? Chihuahua's and pit bulls. I think they need more. Haven't you seen Legally Blonde too? Yeah, I know that Chihuahua's famous. He's jealous. He's jealous because Chihuahuas are famous. What's the name of, what's the name of Elwood's his dog? What do, bitch?

Why? Fuck you. First of all. Come on. Bruiser. Bruiser. Bruiser. And he's gay.

okay first of all you're both gay you're gay you're gay no you're gay you're gay you're gay I saw you're gay I saw you look at that woman

you're a fucking gay period you fucking lesbian oh I mispranized dig I picked that up but no chihuahuas and pipples are the most euthanized dog

in this country and that is because Because they both have reputations for being mean and aggressive and dangerous and loud. And they're actually not. I mean, Chavez-R can be mean and aggressive and dangerous. But third most executed dog in the country of America. Cajuns. Clifford.

No. No. Huskies. I'm fine with that. I hate huskies. Keep your eyes closed. Are you kidding with those? Oh, you just hate him because they have the same eyes as you.

I just made that up. The way he said, oh, are you kidding? Oh, no. I don't care. Take them out. Well, they're annoying and... I don't want to eliminate any dogs. I don't want any dog death on my hands.

What about chihuahuas? I just don't like them. It doesn't mean I want them to die. You did just say they should be grounded up. Put them on an island. Jacques on the dais at a debate. I don't want to kill any dogs in the crowd. Literally, Curtis.

Oh, my God. Look, not all of us are in. perfect health all the time. Okay? Some of us fall down a little bit. Some of us are, some of us are grieving. What are you? What are you grieving? Forty-four years today. And she's gone forever. I'm not even asking. Let's get back to the debate. No, no, no, no. Mr. Mamdani. I haven't thought much about parades, to be honest with you. Mr. Cuomo. I have not thought, I don't even know what parade doesn't exist. Could be for anything. Mr. Sliwa? What?

Every parade has the right to exist in New York City. I would ask you, thank you. Mr. Monda, would you protect the Christopher Columbus statues that exist here in the city? I'm telling you, my focus is on affordability. I'm not thinking about it. Well, you're not answering the question. Yeah, thank you. They gave the finger to the Columbus Day statute.

That is what we're all in the last couple of minutes. Listen, we're in the last couple of minutes, and we thought what that means? Is that not just like, it's really, it's, it makes me. like my consciousness just like split open like I'm having a dream yeah it's the orb of confusion I Curtis saying every parade

has a right to exist it's so fucking funny because again they're trying to needles or on on Israel and trying to back him into a corner by being like just say you won't go to the is some whatever is

Israel affiliated parade because the language boycott a parade right to exist it's so fucking funny that these terms are just they've always been completely meaningless does israel have a right to exist i don't know does any what what does that even mean and now they're applying that logic to hypothetical israeli parades yeah a parade that and they don't even say that like they don't even say what parade or like anything they're like what if there was a parade that you didn't like very much because right it's it's it's the classic thing when a stupid person tries to trick a smart person into doing something and it's like we all know what you're doing here yeah and you're making yourself i mean

quomo and curtis look like complete maniacs yes up there taking this question so seriously yeah and you could see quomo uh like realizing after after zoran second answer like oh fuck i should the answer with that. Right. I should have said, I don't, I'm not aware of how many parades there are in your city. And they're not a priority for me. Who's counting? Who's counting?

There's just too many to count. I mean, um, also can I please, um, continue to follow up on who died today and who I was trying to speak up after, after 44 strong years of being a mother to some of the greatest, uh, creations of this earth has ever seen. MTV is no longer producing television shows They have ended They lasted from My phone's off

But they were like from 1980 something to 2025 They died today It would be 1981 right Because you said 44 years Yes that's exactly what I said Anyway Look this means no more real world This means no more punked.

This means no more episodes of Viva LaBam. This means no more episodes of Pimp My Ride. There hasn't been an episode of Viva Labam in like 25 years. Jackass gone. They're making movies. Look, you're missing the point. There used to be a television show called Viva Labam. Of many of these shows, the real world needs to come back.

I found out that there is a odd. addition fill out sheet in the back of one of my real world official MTV brand books and I think we could bring the I think we could get real world started again I think we could save MTV by sending it by sending a defunct TV production studio a application to be on the real world we need to save them to you still have that application for him yeah okay let's do that next episode let's apply let's do a group application on your behalf next episode for the I think we've done that before, but I think using the official form would be... Official form might be pretty funny.

Let's keep it pushing. Hessa, I know you have an article. You guys don't mourn anything. Yes. I don't give a shit about the real world being canceled. I'm sorry. You should just have a little more respect for what I love and what I hold up dearly. It's not a personal slight against you.

It feels like a personal slight, especially from that bitch and the thumbnail below me that keeps just smiling at me. That's the picture of me. yeah she just she doesn't she's I said MTV's dead and all she just keeps smiling at me not making a single face move it's a photo I'm gonna pee really quickly but then I'll I will come back and read you read it she's always pissing if there's one thing I know about that girl has a it's like swoosh splash she'd be pissing everywhere she goes have you peed today I have peed today I've actually shit three times also if you were trying to get a count how many times have you used both bathroom styles I don't talk about things like that it's too personal oh get a give me a break I don't like talking about it how often do you douche never hmm wow okay and what now and what now and what now in the words of azale events on the breakfast club is it is winter approaching because you're getting paler again

again um like why does your room look like that ew um the mirror is so big it's big enough for you to see yourself in um isn't that what you want from me well i mean you might need a really big mirror because that one don't look big enough to see your body and there you go there you go okay you get me i'm saying big boy you fatty nice you got honk oink not a honk that was a mistake you're always so much more mean to me when you're personally going through something like giving yourself sleep apnea okay I'm back okay well

welcome back Hessa I was bullying Ben because I have a sleep apnea and he called it out thank you for admitting Matt listen to me breathing I don't want to I don't want to I don't want oh jock stop I think maybe you should stop dabbing

oh now he's coughing okay so this is a yeah sorry go ahead Hessa please this is an article from the Washington Post Okay, here's the headline He's gay She's straight They're happily married

Oh my god We finally got profiled You and I finally got profiled In the life of the person Wow Jock is yelling But his mic is off It's so fucking funny

I don't think He still doesn't realize That's totally fine with me Why don't we just read the article Yeah Samantha Winn Greenstone knows her husband is gay Okay, that's the first sentence

of this article She knew he was gay when they met in San Diego In a San Diego production of Fiddler on the Roof She knew he was gay when he proposed She knew he was gay when they got married in November Could you imagine a San Diego production of Fiddler on the roof That's absolutely psychotic Wait, he proposed to her at that production

I don't think so, I don't think so They met there, sorry Yeah, they met there Sorry, continue He's not bisexual she's not in denial. That hasn't stopped them from being in a committed

monogamous relationship for nearly 10 years. If anything, I think we are taking the sanctity of marriage to a whole new level, said Greenstone, 38, smiling widely

as she sat beside her husband Jacob at their home in Los Angeles. Of course, it's Jacob. Yeah, yeah. That morning, Hoff made Greenstone her new favorite breakfast,

an English muffin with an egg, cheese, and avocado. It's been one of her pregnancy things. muffins, he said. Before pregnancy, we ate no bread. We were gluten-free people. Yes, she's pregnant, and yes, it's his. If you must know how they conceived, in Greenstone's words, we birdsed and beased it. Okay, I'm going to say right now, iconic. Um, okay, well, I fully support this. I've had

this, this was a plan in my life for a while. That one went on and had her own baby with a normal guy. So that plan is now gone. But I will do, I would do this. Um, and I do think I mean, this couple might be absolutely terrible. I don't know anything about them. I'm assuming they're horrible. I will just say, I think it's going to become more and more common for gay men and their hags to just fully start a family, get married for the benefits, the family benefits, et cetera, et cetera. And I'm not against it. Yeah. No. I, I mean, I'm not against it on principle either, but I do think that when you hear a little bit more about this specific couple,

there's some really very funny stuff in it. There were, hang on, they explain what a lavender marriage is. I was so muted. Yeah, sorry, Jock, you just realized. I told you I'm going to stop telling you. I saw you screaming for about five minutes. I was asking you would have impregnated a woman yourself, Ben,

if that woman, the one that you're mentioning, hadn't gotten pregnant on her own i didn't pregnant any i didn't pregnant the right woman if she wants to bear my children and get married to me you would do it yourself with your own wand or you're an instrument i would i no i i what oh you got a messer he's illegal jail he's illegal jail jail jail period i'm confused but yes no yes to answer your question yes i would i would do you would manually do it not just give her the come to make it into the put I don't know how else I can say this. Yes, I would.

To make it into the put it in her? Yes, I would make it in it to put it in her to have the baby. Mm-hmm, period. This paragraph I just want to read because there's a bit of a revelation in it that I didn't realize. Maybe you could say the same of Barry Diller, who recently confirmed he is both gay and happily married to Diane von Fustenberg, which we knew. Right. Or Tricia Cook, who spoke openly about being a lesbian married to Ethan Cohen while promoting their movie drive-away dolls and honey don't. I don't know who those people are.

You don't know, he can Cohen of the Cohen brothers. Driving the dogs was that lesbian roid rage movies. I haven't seen it. I don't know. Right. I don't think it's the Royd rage one. Oh, I'm confusing. That's the one with that other girl that's a lesbian.

Kirsten Stewart. Yes, from Twilight. Ready? This is where things take a bit of a turn. Hoff and Greenstone have turned their marriage into a career. Social media is Hoff's main source of income. Right. Grace, Greenstone also works as a personal assistant.

They spend much of their day making videos and responding to skeptics, supporters, and other curious commenters. We found a whole group of people who had never heard of us before, who were just like, oh my gosh, I'm in this relationship, and I didn't know there were others like me out there. You also get the people who are like, I have a gay best friend. Do you think we're in love? Greenstone said, and we have to be like, no, honey, her husband answered. I knew it. I knew it and that's precisely why

they're pitching themselves to like the Washington Post or like to viewers on TikTok like this. It is of course, it's just clickbait and again has a I'm going to tell you I don't have a problem with it. Okay. Period. Are they making money off of this?

Yeah, they're making money off of this. Yeah. They're making a ton of money off of this I'm guessing. Yeah. Yeah. If they're in the Washington Post. Of course. Be like a performance art. Be like stunty about it and rage bait and yeah it doesn't really bother me does the wife get fucked by regular men

that aren't gay no they're monogamous they're not they just say that of course yeah well they say a lot of things yeah um this is the first committed relationship Hoff has ever been in ew

nightmare no one should ever go from I mean none of this is true they're literally lying and like they're doing like character construction right now for both of them He says he has sampled the proverbial offerings of the world. They were literal samples, he said.

There was never a full meal. Both parties felt a deep connection when they met, but neither had marriage on their minds. That began to change after Greenstone saw a spiritual healer who told her that she and Hoff shared a spiritual umbilical cord, which I don't know if they know what an umbilical cord is, but it goes from a child to a mother. right yeah well maybe he's the baby maybe um greenstone asked hoff via text whether he had feelings for her that ran deeper than friendship he did early in their relationship they went to see there a therapist she told us she's a straight woman who'd married a woman hoff said and we kind of all blew each other's minds in that session because she had never really seen this dynamic before which that's crazy i want to hear more

about this therapist who is a straight woman who's in a lesbian marriage And if by having their minds blown, what they meant is that the gay guy's eyes turned into giant dollar signs because he realized he could rage bait on TikTok, but having a baby and a wife, then I believe it. Yeah. This is where we, Greenstone said some of the most supportive commenters online are conservative. It's a safe package for them. Oh, my God.

They've also gone out of their way to court viewers from across the political spectrum. One of their most controversial videos from last year, which explains. their decision when they explain their decision not to reveal who they were voting for in the presidential election. Stop. We didn't want any audience member to feel isolated, Greenstone said. When asked about President Donald Trump's positions on transgender people, she clarified that she has always shown unwavering support for trans rights.

We have trans people that voted for Donald Trump that support us, Hoff said, so we're not going to isolate ourselves from those people. Amazing out. Just masterful out there. That is so funny. the only thing you could do to top that is by being like actually i'm transitioning right now when voting for total trump yeah this is this is really funny um joe court k-o r t who wrote the book is my husband gay straight or bye says that stories like greenstones and hoffs are increasingly common among his

therapy clients more and more that's happening he said a lot of straight women are so tired of patriarchy and they know that gay and even by guys are going to be less patriarchal that's what i not true not true at all oftentimes contrary yeah interesting gay men are bigger misogynist than the collective straight men they certainly can be i don't know about collectively because i mean straight men are the ones like actually like killing and raping women but in a more latent like permissible way yeah you're right you're right about that in a permissible way gay men get away like culturally socially gay men have non sexually or violent physically way I mean, gay men can rape women, too.

Like Henry Lee Lucas. I'm not saying it doesn't happen. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I will say it's extremely random, extremely random when it does happen. Yeah, yeah, it's, whoa. Right. Has it just going, whoa, it happened to get. My official reaction to that is woe as well.

Yeah, whoa. You open the newspaper, you go, whoa. Woe is, woe is me. I'm really interested in this book Is My husband Gay Straight or Bye by Joe Cort I'm imagining It's probably like a gay guy

Who is getting off Again profiteering by rage baiting Or of course Court has Court himself has never been with a woman He has been with his husband for 32 years Right He's worked with gay men

As a relationship therapist for 40 years Some of court's gay clients feel alienated From gay culture Others say they've always wanted a traditional heterosexual family unit, regardless of their own orientation. Court acknowledges that the process of making a mixed orientation marriage work can be brutal and that a number of people interested in entering one is small. I tell them, be careful who you're telling, because you're not going to get a lot of support

for this, he said. It's almost like they have to go into the closet as a couple. I don't buy that. And I don't think it's that hard. I'll be honest. as a gay man who is not like the other gays as this

therapist seems to be gay culture right I'm a gay guy but I'm different than the other gay guys period but I mean granted yes I'm speaking hypothetically here but if I had a baby with one of my girlfriends I don't think it would be hard at all

I think it would be a lot easier than a normal marriage you just share an apartment, you share a house, you raise a kid together, and then you each have your own partners. It actually seems extremely chill to me. Yeah, going into the closet as a couple is crazy. No, it's ridiculous. I mean... Why, yeah, how many people can you fit this fucking closet?

Period. Right. It's not that big. It's like, get out of the closet and wake up. This is... There's another person in this article who gets talked about, and the heading for her is, an asexual tradwine?

And there is a big, long, like, thing about her. I, it kind of, there's something kind of, like, right wing to me about, you know, for, I mean, for, I mean, for, if it works for you, that's totally fine, but of being like, you know, I, it's not really their, their fault. I mean, it kind of is this couple's fault specifically, because they're openly courting. these people to make money. She doesn't masturbate. But I'm sure because of course their conservative followers are being like sending

their gay kids that they haven't talked to in three years of like this couple's Instagram page and says you can do this. Why don't you do this? Right, right. Or on the flip side they get conservatives who are still giving them engagement by being like this is disgusting. I can't believe that

woke is penetrating straight heterosexual marriages see I they strike me as the kind of couple that would delete all those

comments instantly or half because they're just fully on like they just want positive right wing attention

I think so yeah I think like let me find I don't even want to find their page I don't even know how I would do it

I don't even want to find it I just don't even want to know you're so dramatic today Hessa is there are you on the rag or something but you have got to do with the fact that your sleep apnea problem

is your fault. It's not my fault. It's not Hessett's fault. Have I ever said what, Hessa, did I say that it was your fault? Don't be mad at us because you gave yourself sleep apnea diva. Um, Hessa, did I sound mad at you? I've been so loving to you. I texted Hesda.

You screamed, are you on the rat? Let me read this text. Let me read this message that I sent Hessa right before the meeting. Hey Hessa, Hessa, it's shock. Just checking in. You're not reading your phone. Stop. It's turned off still. You're literally just not reading your phone. I'm reading my phone. Look, it's there.

Okay, look. Dear Hessa, I love you so much. You are one of my best friends. Just checking in before the meeting. Here to let you know that I care about you. Today, when I act a little bit mean towards you, it's just a farce. It's a play. Just know that secretly, I'm thinking about how much I like you when I make these jokes.

And actually, after the meeting, we can talk about our friendship and how much I care about you. Okay. Have a wonderful recording. I'll see you in there in the stream yard. Doesn't that sound like Jock? Doesn't that sound exactly like Jock? I mean, that's like, it's really like, even if that was a real message that you sent me, it's kind of like it's giving abusive relationships.

Right. Honey, I'm really mad. I'm really mad after work today. So if I come home and hit you, just know I really do it because I love you. Literally, dude. Hessa, do you think I'm being mean to you? No, you're fine. Okay.

And Ben, do you think I'm being mean to you? times yeah oh my god we got a fucking soft cake we got a pansy we got a little delicate flower oh what if her petals fell off thank you for comparing me to a beautiful delicate flour

well you are a delicate fragile little thing thank you period period that's on period poop honey on period poop I'm about the period piss can you continue with the article um it's pretty much

that's it would you ever would you ever do that i guess you're by and non-binary though so you don't have the same access as as i do yeah i'd be all i'd be all in that thing although i do think a jock rage bait marriage account would do a lot of numbers yeah i would love to suddenly be married on um like just to be married well i would like to be married but it would be so fuck you to everyone if I was like suddenly married to a hottie and um people didn't understand do you think do you think people would be jealous of your of your your hate fueled um spiked marriage to a haughty well they wouldn't know about that but like imagine it i think they could

maybe could you infer why can you just marriage is dropping all of a sudden can you just be can you can you really just put your imagination lenses on right now sure they're on okay okay okay Okay. Imagine tomorrow you wake up and the breaking news is that Kylie Jenner is officially engaged to Jacques Gonselin and it's real news and you're like... My honest reaction would be great. This will be amazing for the show. My honest reaction would probably be something like, this isn't real news, especially the fact that it says it's real news after the headline. Right, from real news.com. Yeah. But if it was actually true, I would.

be psyched shock yeah of course people aren't people are happy for their friends they're not motivated by competing with their friends people are happy for their friends when they i'm happy for my friends i think competition between friends is also healthy okay all the listeners out there would agree because they like hearing us don't give me that give me a bin mar face don't give me a ben Shapiro face i don't really see this as a competition between us three either. It has to, well, it's a competition between me and Ben. I don't think you're in the running.

You have to have two willing partners who accept that it's a competition for it to be a competition. And if they don't, then you're just a crazy person. Well, Ben, you accept that you're in competition with me. I do not. I am not in competition with you. You wouldn't say that at all. You wouldn't say that we've once agreed to do a foot race in competition. That is a competition.

That is not in a competition. competition you don't think that people measure us together when they I don't care I don't care what people think or how people perceive our friendship can we have a vote can we please not have a vote on what no what's the criteria I'm confused vote on what you either vote for Jacques or vote for Ben whatever you try to do this so often. It's extremely unhealthy. Yeah. And look, don't tell me what's unhealthy

you two. Okay, your name begins with an age, your name begins with a B, bitch, bitch, hag. Butthole's right there for you, but... Yeah, butthole. Well, I was trying to give you individualized names. Period. That's very true, honestly. You're right. You're right

about that. Here, here's a... And I'll say this. Beautiful, hot. How's that? Thank you. And not that I've officially won the competition. It's time to end show everyone out there thank you so much for listening to seeking arrangements today if you like what you heard go subscribe to our patreon patreon patreon.com slash seeking arrangements and we will be back later this week goodbye everyone bye you vote for your favorite A snoozy box and a david talk

Someone who really fails When everything in Nothing can go well Turn the way you And step together I want to be there When it rains I want you to get on the skin

don't be away away Everything you're talking. Everything you are talking. Everything here is all right with me. I'm where I'm going to come by the wall. Not there's anything

We're recording I've been for a long with you So look at the best mouth