Seeking Derangements - SD 459 - Fancy, Not Femme w/ Benjamin Smith

Episode Date: December 24, 2025

FULL VIDEO AVAILABLE FOR FREE ON PATREON Ben here, today I am joined by Benjamin Smith, greater Boston's most fabulous real estate agent. We discuss how Ben found his way into real estate, how we came out (or were outed), our various run-ins with police, and why we're both Girl Gays. Plus Ben tells me about being forced to welcome a Honduran ghost into his home, how he lost his driving license, and most importantly whats up next for him. Find Ben on the soon to launch youtube show Haus Queens!

It's no rush at all. I don't know. Will it just like perch? I can just hold it. I don't. Are you sure? I mean, we'll talk for like an hour or so I don't want you to get tired. Oh, okay.

Take your time, Ben. Because I'm not this, but it only doesn't go. It doesn't go sideways? It won't. It's not big enough for sideways. But I can figure this out. Maybe like, can you put out like a stack of books or something? Yeah, I think I have an idea.

What I'm going to do, does this thing go up and down? There we go. You look perfect. I'm raining. And then it's raining all over me. I can think you're doing this, right? Of course you can. I'm popping, I'm popping Zins.

Do you ever do these? No, and I want to know what they're like so bad, but I've just... Well, do you mind if we just start? I've been recording. We can just do it. You don't... Yeah, we can just do it ever. Yeah, I just ask for it.

Yeah, I'm just going to ask some questions. I'm sure we can talk for hours. If you have any questions for me, feel free to ask them an open book. I just want to talk about, you know, being a real estate Asian in Boston, your life, you're quite an interesting character. I've been a fan of you for a very long time, Ben. Oh, I love that. Thank you. I've been obsessed with the videos for a long time.

But anyways, everyone, welcome to seeking derangements. It's Ben here, and I'm here with Benjamin Smith, East Boston's and the greater Boston's most fabulous real estate agent. You've seen him all of our Instagram, I'm sure. How's it going today, Ben? Fantastic. Well, now that I'm in from the rain, I'm all good. are you late i'm not i'm not saying this in a shady way i i'm personally late to a lot of things in

my life are you late to because real estate you have to work around the clock late for literally everything um the only thing i was ever early for was like my birth and then i guess somewhere after that i just i'm late for everything i'm late for the doctor i'm late for the train i'm late meeting my friends tell me that like let's say if we're going to going out to dinner at 730. They're like, yeah, Ben, our reservations at seven. Right, right. I'm like, and then I get there at like 7.15, I'm like, shit, I have to wait.

And I'm like, well, they would have been late and they wouldn't have taken us. What's your friend group like? You must have an iconic friend group in Boston. Yeah, I have like quite the pack of freaks. I bet. I kind of like collect people as I go. Like, I'm still friends with people from high school and college. And then like some of my best friends, like, people that have met

through real estate or some of my closest friends. Yeah. Other random, other random gays. It's weird. It's random that I get along and get really close with another gay, though. Same. Very, very special gay. I'm a girl's.

I mean, there's two types of gay guys. There's gays, and there's girls gays. You know what I mean? Yeah, I'm a girl gay. And I'm, I'm a girl gay as well. Maybe that's why I think we are going to get along. Yeah. Why do you think you?

I haven't wanted to fight you yet. Don't worry. I'm just kidding. I don't fight people. you've surely been in a fight in your life it took fucking I don't even know if I watched it sorry it took six cops one minute

and 45 seconds to get me handcuffed one time I'm not proud of that story I would be proud of that insane but at the same time I'm like well that's like kind of badass a little bit it's really badass wait cost a fucking fortune but um you have to walk me through the story

please what happened um This is back when I used to drink, and I used to, like, drink a lot, and drinking caused me a lot of, I guess, chaos is what you would call it. Right. So, I was with this kid. He wasn't my boyfriend yet. Later in life, he would be. But, um...

After he saw you, after he saw six cops, they were to take you down. Right. Right. We got Burger King, and I was drunk as fuck. Oh, my God. I was so drunk. um out of nowhere it was like a random like it wasn't like it sneaks up on you sometimes yeah like i was like oh that's gonna be so cute i'm gonna go buy some nips and then when poppy

gets here because we were meeting at maverick i didn't live in east boston at the time yet he did i think yeah because i think we were going to his house to eat the burger king that i never got to eat because i got in a fight with these like fucking two pieces of shit i mean these two girls and they like they laughed at me and i was like don't laugh at me because i like tripped a little bit and then it just escalated into like they were fucked up and looking for a fight right i was fucked up and looking for a fight like everyone in boston claimed i hit her and i was like i've never been one i wouldn't hit a girl too i haven't been within five however long this is with five you longs or short so then they have a friend who comes to try to jump me and

like, oh, this crazy bullshit. And then the police come to the, and they're, like, just picking at me. Like, of course. They're just picking at me. And I'm like, okay, so I'm just so wasted. And they're like, my Burger King got everywhere all during the fight. The Burger King was all over the ground outside the Maverick train. And they're like, go, you need to thank that guy that's cleaning up your mess.

And I was like, stop it. Like, stop picking at me. And then eventually, I, I, had my bag and I was moving my bag and then like one of my bag must have just like touched one of their like elbows or whatever and they were like oh good his bag touched us

now we can call that assault so then all of a sudden I'm like under gay guy's purse yeah all of a sudden I'm under arrest for um assaulting an officer which like that sounds really bad on paper

but it's really like I moved my bag and it like touched an officer's elbow Right. They were just looking for a fight. Of course. Like, I'm like, if you wanted to arrest me so bad, like, a public intoxication was pretty obvious of charge. Right.

Like. Right. So they struggled, so they tried to arrest you and they should. So somehow I'm on the ground. There's like six of them and I'm slippery as fuck. And then they're just like, got, whoa, oh, got another. Oh, what? Slipping around.

I'm standing back up. I'm falling back down. they got me on the ground, I'm up, I'm down. One minute, 45 seconds of fun. And there was, some people say six, five or six, policemen. That is really, I mean, I would be proud of myself. I would be very proud of myself. Is that why you stopped drinking?

That and like a million other situations that were very similar. What was the go-to drink? What wasn't? For a while, I don't know, I would go through hardcore phases. Like I would have, 99 bananas, the nips were like a thing for a while. But like, I guess you're like not supposed to drink 12 of them in a day. Peanut butter whiskey was the last, the final straw. What's that like?

Oh my God, it's so good except for like it makes you like throw up. a lot um when you drink a whole bottle of it but it actually is like if i were able to handle alcohol i would drink that like peanut butter is like my favorite food or one of my many favorite foods like i eat peanut butter like straight up out of the jar like with a spoon like i loved peanut butter so it's like it doesn't even taste like booze really like it's just is it kind of like a bailey's kind of like creamy like sweet not i would call i would say It's like a fireball, but instead of hot cinnamon, it's peanut butter. That sounds great.

Yeah, and it does actually taste a lot like peanut butter. Right. So I don't know how they, the technology they have these days. I know. How long has it been since you've quit drinking? My like hardcore not drinking's been almost about a year. Oh, congratulations. I like don't want to say, I've been sober.

free because I fuck up sometimes. Sure, sure, sure. But, like, if I, like, I'm just like, okay, whatever, I, like, tried that again, and it still wasn't good. Right. So, and, like, whatever, just sometimes it happens. So. Sure. Sure.

It's almost, like, occasionally I'll do, like, a controlled demolition, because I've noticed, like, if I, like, I'm hardcore into it, and I'm counting the days, and I'm, like, meetings and chips, and I'm like, yeah, so about COBRA. like I like ain't no drugs in me lo yo yo like if I get like that then eventually just like it's a pressure cooker and I blow up and do something like the like the like next thing my car's around a tree and I'm like how did that happen I have the same thing where I like I binge drink I'm not I'm not sober I'm certainly not sober but like I will go like a month just without drinking because I'm like not partying you know and then I'll get the urge to go out and then I'm out for like I'm out for like I'm not sober. like three or four days it just happened to me I am just getting

over a recent bender yeah that's that's a thing like when I was like younger of context I'm 32 37 in real life but I'm 31 so we're not that

I'm technically 37 I guess you could say I was born in 1988 I just like feel like that sounds old I feel like I identify you're 32 you're 32 I identify I identify I agree. You look 32. So, thank you. You're welcome. It's all the, that's good to hear

because I spend a lot of money on creams. So like, I, where was I going on with this? Oh, I like, when I was like 25, I used to be able to, like, go out until like two in the morning, like, through the club, crazy whatever, go home, pass out, and then wake up at like

8.30 and stand up and take a shower and go about my day and I'd be like a little sick I'd be like oh I'm so hungover it's like you don't know what that is like these bitches these people in their 20s have no idea how bad it gets it's insane if I have any piece of advice to the 20 some crowd listening to this right now your hangovers are going to hit you like an 18 wheeler the moment you turn 30 it's insane it's like literally debilitating and like destabilizes my entire life And so I am like going to be sober for a couple months because it's just like, I need to work. But who, Ben, it's, I've been in bed for days on end.

Yeah. I'm so hungover. Like can't get my head off the pillow. Like Motron doesn't touch it. Like throwing up like just feeling horrible. And then it's like the day after the day after and you're still like like the day after. And it feels like you're moving through like wood sand. Yeah.

No, it's terrible. Did you ever, I've tried so many different kinds of hangover cures in my time. Have you ever found one that's worked for you? Not drinking is the only one that I've ever found to work for me. You ever do hair of the dog? Sometimes I'll wake up and half a year. Well, that's the thing. That's the thing is like, that's what gets me in trouble is I would hair of the dog it.

Uh-huh. So then I'd be, but then I just wouldn't stop. so then I guess that was just about getting drunk again and then the next day I'm like hair of the dog and then eventually it just becomes a habit and then eventually you're like waking up at like 7.30 in the morning to like chug box wine you have hit under your bed because you're living at your parents' house

because you're an idiot so that's it like hair of the dog like works but like it's tricky though you have to keep it in check very tricky right hair of the dogging it I used to think if I took because I used to work in a pharmacy in a previous life um and one of the like young pharmacists was like oh yeah if i go drinking i take like i don't know some vitamins or whatever so i like right that didn't work

that i still felt like shit i tried that i was recently i was like out for like four days and i was in um staying at my friend's place in manhattan and they she has this like service that she's used before for like hangover cures and it's like a mobile iv they like come to you they coming to your house. I wanted, I've always wanted to do that. Well, I'll tell you, Ben, it didn't do shit. Okay.

And I had this poor, like, nurse come to this, like, Chinese orphanage, basically. I'm staying. And it's, like, a little disturbed by the circumstance. And she's like, well, what do you need it for? And I'm like, I look like a ghost. Like, I look like a skeleton. I look like shit.

And I'm just like, I'm really hung over. And she's like, okay, this will fix you. I'm just hanging out with this random old woman for, like, an hour while I get this ivy drip and I didn't really feel any different after it and it costs like $300 yeah see that's the thing is it costs money and I hate like right I'm like okay like if I was gonna do that I'm like shit I spent so much money at the bar last night I ran out like because like when I don't give a fuck I'll like just start buying shit and then I'll get home and I'll be like hey I'm wasted why don't I go on fucking Amazon or like oh okay I'm gonna order food does anybody want food is anyone in this

entire block of the neighborhood want food I'm like what are you buying on Amazon while you're drunk oh my god what are those drunk purchases looking like you don't remember well that's the thing and even I do this sober too like I Amazon shit shows up at my house and I'm like what the what the fuck is I guess I bought something and then I like it so it's like I don't know that's what i love about amazon is like you see something you like you push one button and it comes to your house and i and yeah i and then it's like another present when i open it and find out what the hell it is like but the worst for me recently the worst is edibles plus ticot shop like oh that's the new one for you you're getting blitzed and buying like a plastic like sweater

yeah i'm like oh like yeah oh and then somebody's like i swear to god like when when this woman told me she looked 40 but she was 60 and she told me that this and i'm like sold right and it's just they make it so fucking easy for you no they make it so easy and then scan then i scan it never scans my face like i have too much makeup on and it doesn't but your phone your phone doesn't recognize your phone doesn't recognize your face because you you have too much makeup on that happens to me a lot like it knows my face when i don't have any makeup on or like and then when you put it on your phone's like who's this queen yeah like that's how i know if i'm like done up and i'm like uh no no my phone still recognize i can't use my phone i'm too

sexy tonight oh yeah i'm like all right well my phone still recognizes who i am so obviously i'm not done up enough that feeling when you're not ready to leave the house until your phone Yeah, I'm like, ooh, let me just, let me just do an apple pay real quick. Nope, guys, give me 10 more minutes. Ben, what's the Dunkin today? Is it full of peanut butter whiskey? You can tell me. You can tell me.

No, it is a large hot latte. All right, so I get, this is disgusting, but the swirl flavors I get in a large, a large hot, I get six. And I know that's, like, disgusting. Wait, walk me through this. I'm not familiar. What's a swirl? flavor. So like the sweetened flavors, because like they have the flavors

that are just like, you know, like the liquid in the thing and they like squirt it. But then there's the pumps that have like the bigger pumps that are like kind of syrupy. Oh, it's like the syrup. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Those are like already like sugar or like flavored and stuff. Yeah, yeah. So those

I get, if it's an ice, I get seven because the ice I feel like, I don't know if they have the same size. I feel like they're bigger. Right. Well, they water it down. The ice takes up so much of the ball. in the cup exactly i was asked for less ice that's my thing that's your trick what's what's the full duncan order give it to me pretend i'm the barista at duncan okay large iaster hot um oatmeal because i'm apparent i turned 34 and became lactose intolerant randomly um three splendas and

six or seven pumps of whatever the like flavor of the flavor of the seasonal ones yeah i like the seasonal ones. If I have to, like, if it's not, if there's no seasons, then, um, I'll caramel, I'll usually go with caramel. Nice. Classic. Classic. I put you on hold for one second. Sorry. I just see. I think that my landlord might be here. Hi, do they need to come in now? Do you want to go in or not? I'm like in the middle of recording a podcast. Like, if there's any way that you can not... Okay, just leave...

Yeah, if you don't have to come in and just leave them out there and all. All right. Thank you. Oh, oh, no. Sorry. That's okay. Yeah.

Oh, is that your landlord? My landlord and the pest guy, because I have mice. Oh, no. That started, like, It has never happened before. Right. So, like, my back deck, like, out that door is there's a deck.

And it shared with, like, the building next to me is, like, the same as mine, but, like, just, like, flipped. So the decks, like, are the same and there's just, like, a fence or rail or whatever in between them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like, I don't know, like, the people that used to live there before, they had a cat, which I think helped. Also, I love that cat. and that probably helped and also I don't know what they're doing because I've lived here for like three years

and I've never had a mouse problem ever and then all of a sudden the last two months like since it started getting a little bit cold now there's mice and I'm like well I once almost like fucking died while I was driving I used to have an old SUV and I was like just driving I was on the highway

and I hear something in like the like under the passenger seat and I look down and then I see a mouse crawl out from under it and I Ben I was going 70 miles an hour and I I almost swerved fully off the road and I just started screaming I was like oh my god oh my god my god and so I got off and then I like got out of I jumped out of my car and was like pastry on my car I was like hitting my car with a shoe to like scare the mouse I don't fucking know and then I opened all the doors and I started holding honking the horn to scare it, and I saw it jump out. But it was, I hate rodents so much. They scare the hell out of me. Too. I'm like, what is the, I'm like, what is the point of that? Like, besides things for cats to chase, like, what else do you do for me? I'm like, can we just press a button and, like, kill all of them, please?

Right. It's the same. It's mice. I, the other thing I don't get what the point of is, like, non-pollinating bees, like, wasps, hornets and stuff. Maybe they pollinate. But, like, what are we? already have bees why did they need to make like bees but mean that can sting you more than they can sting you more than once like a regular bee isn't going to sting you unless it's like a major

issue those like these are just like these are just like hey i gotcha i can just go keep doing that too right right like in fact if i want to sting you again i can just go back and do it again okay well speaking of your apartment i love the the wall behind you and yeah you I mean, you've seen thousands of apartments in your time, I'm sure. Right. Walk you through where you are, how you got your place and everything about it. Because I'm sure you have like a, you must have a very desirable apartment. Yeah, no.

It's like fine. So it's me. I have like a couple roommates. I moved in here like kind of on the short like, um someone I knew was like sub like somebody I knew needed like a roommate and I was like well I'm moving because I had to move home for a little bit this is in like 2021 because of a bad breakup slash like issue with like property management like basically and it was COVID it was like hard it was a weird time yeah it was COVID and it worked out so good for me because I was moving and I sub led a rum in this two floor six

bedroom apartment on Princeton Street and he's Boston. And I moved in like the week, it became bad COVID. Right. So I was on the second floor of this apartment and there was another bedroom and a bathroom up there and the person that was supposed to move in there never moved in because of COVID. So I had the entire upstairs to myself. And then the landlord let us renew when it came to September. He let us renew just three of us, me and this girl, yeah, and then this Moroccan girl and then this Russian chick and then the Russian girl lasted about

a month because she like was just like a fucking Soviet bitch yeah and then she moved her by the way I'd also like moved my like boyfriend or whatever you want to call him in which like everybody

seemed to be fine with but then he kind of chased out the Russian girl she well I don't know. She said she found another apartment I think she just wanted to move and use me as an excuse. Same with the other girl. The other girl's pandemic unemployment ran out, and then she tried to say it was because she didn't like my boyfriend.

I'm like, okay. Why wouldn't they have liked your boyfriend? Because he was a fucking psychopath. Okay. I'm not mid-support, but the thing is, so it just was me and him for months in this two-floor, six-bedroom two-bathroom apartment by ourselves it was so fun i like have my friend move in and my friend brought his dog and my other friend was like staying there i was like it was great and i was only paying for one bedroom nice 750 dollars for the whole fucking place whoa that is then they bullied me into

signing a release from my lease because basically they thought that in some summer of 2021, the market was going to rebound enough that they were going to be able to rent it. Looking back, they should have just kept me because $700 is worth more than zero, and that's what they got for the rest of the summer. So, you know what? Also, they, like, I just think that they kind of didn't like me because me and the boyfriend situation kind of, like, blew up and, like, yeah. Anyway, so I moved to my parents' house for the summer. And then, for the fall and then for the winter

it's just so you just like I was like I'm not gonna be here long right then it's just like it's so nice you like settle in they like cook

girl I currently live at home it is very I miss it like I am just like everything I'm just like everything's nice like everybody comes

and cleans like my dad's making food and it's not like it's not gonna feed me like I'm right I'm like, I save so much money. So you're close with your family. I mean, in my experience, I always, like when I tell someone I'm like gay or whatever, there's

some, it doesn't happen as much anymore, but it used to happen. The reaction would be like, oh my God, are you okay? Like, did your family kick you out or like, are you like, are you close? People assume there's some kind of like trauma there, but did you ever, I mean, and I'll say this, I mean, I've only been to Boston once, but what I do know about Boston and granted this is a generalization and a stereotype of Boston from my friends you know on you know the East Coast people ask oh Boston's super homophobic Boston's really homophobic and I I don't I mean I truly don't know because I've been for Ben I don't I think are I'm like I'm like if

Benjamin Smith is there like he's it can't be that homophobic yeah exactly I um my thing with Boston is that like in Massachusetts is that in terms of like politics like we're a guaranteed blue state like it's a very liberal state yeah with like policies like always blue always democratic always whatever like which I love because I never have to worry about like not being able to like like something like Donald Trump happening here so um but I think it's very like culturally and like society wise it's very um conservative

I think it's really broly right like it's like drunk sports guys you know like you know like climbing light post like punching each other in the face and like you know kicking women down streets yeah yeah yeah yeah it's that's like what's good they're like okay like bros the bros like people with like a polo shirt and a backwards baseball cap yeah um that like go to selfie bars and like work at state street that's the the best thing you can be

that is right there that's what you're supposed to be like and anybody that's not like that right is not cool so were you raised with those expectations was your dad like benjamin where's where's your polo and backwards i think they kind of figured it out like that's like i was saying in my other interview i'm like i don't even know like i took like i didn't come out to them until i was like 20 and really i did it because i kind of got backed in a corner and i was like well my dad just happened to ask the like it just happened to lead into it and i was like well i guess this is the time i'm going to do it but i just never felt like being like oh let me make a huge deal about it because it's like you fucking know like i i completely agree with you i was i mean i i i guess quote unquote came out

Well, funny enough, what actually happened is my mom outed me to my whole family. But I was like so, I wasn't like really queenie, but I was like, I was clearly really gay. I remember like I was, I was literally lying down on my stomach with my feet kicking in the air above me, reading perks of being a wallflower. And she walked in and she was like, are you gay? And I was just like, yeah, I'm gay. And then she told my whole family. But in some way, I was like, this is actually nicer than me having to sit down every individual. member of my family and talk to them about my sex life i'm like no it's like we all already know

bitch like what are we talking about here exactly that was my thing i'm like i thought i was a real for like a good couple months when i was a huge little i loved the little mermaid but i was a good i used to draw a mermaid i just like put a sleeping bag on and pretend that that was my tail and i took my blanket and like because i feel like Ariel's hair was like a big thing because it was like it was so luxurious so i put my blanket on my head and that was like my aerial costume and then I'd be like yeah you know I'm a mermaid and they they were like

okay well hmm geez and then when I finally told them my mom was like I knew it ever since she wore that hat and pre-schooled and I'm like what hat? Also that really took you until I was five like what was the hat? I don't know I still don't know what

the hat is and that could be a good Christmas conversation you know those like leather cop gay guys is probably like a leather beret that you wore like the village people yeah I'm like what was the hat what hat exposed me like I feel like I should remember that

if it was so gay but like really what was from my like one of my first memories was I was with my grandma and my older brother and she took us to the dollar store because she needed to get stuff and it was the classic thing of like okay you guys can both get one thing like pick one thing out my brother of course

got like a toy gun and I saw these Betty Boop press on nails and I know right wish you could have some of those and I remember like buying them and like putting them on in the back seat and then my grandma pulled into the garage

to get back you know to her house and she was like your grandfather can't see you with these on and then she ripped them off of my fingernails and like threw them in the trash in front of me but I was like five at the time probably you know similar story to your hat but so what was it like for you like overall because you're you're you're you're flam boy you're visibly gay as I'm like very fancy yeah I like I would say fancy not femme fancy not fam I love that that's my favorite thing and then

they're all people are like all that and I'm like just take it just just just just just just believe me for a minute but um yeah no I like how like my parents Like, obviously they were prepared. Like, I wasn't just shopping with those Abercrombie catalogs in my bedroom by myself. I, like, always only wore Abercrombie or, like, there was, like, a couple other brands that were okay. But, like, I was, like, so into Abercrombie. And the guys, I mean, that was basically, like, softcore porn for young. Yeah, for sure.

Yeah. For sure. Literally, like, it was porn. That was, like, that and, like, there was sometimes there was obscene things and, like, Rolling Stone, too. Like, that was another magazine that was like, okay, cool. Oh, like, like, adults read this. But, yeah, the Abercrombie catalog, like, quarterly, I had, like, a sexual awakening.

Like, it was just, like, and I was genuinely excited to see what clothes would be in it because the internet wasn't really, like, invented yet. I mean, it, like, was-ish. But teens weren't using it like that. Yeah, it was, like, 2002. too so what was the first social media you started what was the first social media you started using was it my space were you my space or snapchat my space my space was great i liked shout out though to live journal that was pretty good i do remember live journal yeah yeah i didn't realize that like

all the other people could read it though so i like used to get in a lot of trouble with my friend they're like what did you mean when you wrote and i was like oh we're using live journals like a see that too to shit on your friends yeah I was like whoops I guess I didn't hit

private on that one what was your MySpace did you have a top eight oh yeah I was like I like eventually they would let you

do like top 12 I think I stuck with top 12 I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings so right I'm like I don't know I feel like out of my top eight

I'm still friends with like most some of them were you hang out with like so many girls in middle school in high school yeah yeah i was always well in middle school i like didn't have friends until eighth grade because i was like fat and like pimpley and had braces and was like so awkward and like so gay and so weird oh my god i like i like look back at that and i'm like oh my god well ben you were 12 i know i was yeah you can't hold against yourself

Like, eighth grade, I finally, like, found people that, like, got it. Like, that's when I, like, made some friends. But, yeah, mostly, like, a lot of my friends are always girls. And then that flash forward to when I was 20 was the question that prompted me to come out. Because my dad's like, how come these girls' boyfriends aren't, like, mad that you're always hanging out with them? And I was like, because I'm gay. Right. Put it together, dude.

He just wanted you to say it. You know, he's prompting at this care. I remember I was, like, in high school, I was, like, hanging out of so many. any women. I remember my brother once just like, are you like, you're like having sex with them? You have so many girls around you all the time. Like you're, my brother's a player. And I'm like, not, not exactly, bro. Not exactly a player here. But I'm still friends with mostly women. I don't, I mean, I don't, I don't, I don't hate gay men. I'm, I'm maybe like a little homophobe. I wouldn't say homophobic, but I, there are a lot of gay men I don't really get along with.

It seems like you're in a similar person. Why is that for you? Because they're jealous of me. Because they're jealous of you. Is what I think. No, I, I mean, I totally make sense to me. Because I mean, you live a life that you, you know, you don't, you're not trying to put on for anyone necessarily.

Exactly. You're doing exactly what you want, it seems like. And I think gay men, I think a lot of gay men want to be, like, I know it's fancy, not femme, but I think a lot of gay men do want to, like, live like you do but they don't have the confidence to pull it off I think they're like a little insecure to like go out in a full beat

you know exactly and I think they see someone who is doing it and they're like a little like who's yeah you know exactly who's yeah they're always kind of like and like going back to it like Boston is I think socially fairly conservative

like even though we're like the first state to do games marriage even though we're like our governor's a lesbian even though like all this stuff like on paper it's like very liberal but like socially it's still like the puritan era like it really holds on to it's just like irish italian english people who are like fully they've been living there for like hundreds of years right oh my god yeah so sure irish riviera are you irish do you yeah i don't Oh, don't remind me. No, it's like, fine.

It's like, fine. It's just like, I'm just like, everybody, everybody else is, too. Right. I'm just like, I'm like, I would take into me like, exactly, right. Exactly. There's so many people because I'm from the South Shore, which is there are more people of Irish descent in the South Shore than there are in, like, Ireland. Everybody's obsessed with that. Every house is a fucking Irish flag. You've been in America.

for how many generations at this point? Can you drop it? Like, when was the last time you went to Ireland? Oh, never? Right, right, right. But I guess it's just, it's part of the like Irish-American culture. Yeah. They're like Italian-Americans.

They really hold off to it. On the north shore, we get the Italian. There's more Italians north of Boston and more Irish south of Boston. So if you had to pick between being Italian or Irish, which would you choose? Oh, I think I'd just stay Irish. Stay Irish. Yeah. No offense to Italians, I just, I used to live in the North End.

Like, I get it. Like, I'm just going to hold my tongue for it. Just, like, a lot, like, everybody in the North End, like, all the locals were like, these yuppies here, they're coming into our neighbor. That used to be my Zia Moria's flower shop down there in the corner. I'm like, now it's a fucking Starbucks, because these yuppies. copies are coming in here, ruining. This used to be a good Italian neighbor.

And I'm like, in 18 what? Right. And also things change. And maybe it's your fault Italians. Maybe you should have made some better real estate deals. Speaking of them, I want to talk about how you got into real estate and like what a day in the life looks like for you as Boston's most fabulous real estate agent. Okay. So I got into real estate.

So I think it began. I've always wanted to do it. And, like, so I was born in New Hampshire, and then we moved to Massachusetts when I was four. Okay. And then my aunt lived in New Hampshire and was moving to the South Shore also. But, like, my parents would go on open houses for them and be like, oh, like, this is a good one.

Like, come down and see it because they didn't want to drive, like, two hours. Like, my parents would pick them. So I used to go with them because, like, where else would I go? I was like five. And so then I was like, this is so cool, like, going and seeing other people's houses. Yeah. And then I reinforced it when I was, like, getting my driver's license and you just had to, like, drive around your driving hours and whatever. Or, like, and your dad had to, like, sign off on it, whatever.

So I just used to drive around and look at, like, houses. Because, like, on the South Shore, there are some really fucking nice houses. Like, there are some people on the Social show have a lot of money. Sure. And, like, but they're all streets, like, I, not like I didn't know about them, but, like, if you don't, there's no reason to go down that street. It's like a fancy cul-de-sac. Like, it's not, so, but then I had a reason to practice driving, aka, like, be a complete and total creep. And then I was like, I think I want to get into, I think I'm going to do houses and stuff.

So I majored in marketing because I was like, I was like, all right, and I feel like my choices are, like, medical law, business like my parents aren't going to pay for like college for anything else you know what i mean like i'm not like oh i'm going for the flute like well and and like what does college even get you anymore let's be honest about that nothing nothing right right especially if you graduate in 2010 into the worst economy since the depression right i'm like still catching up like 15 years later like i mean the amount of friends i have who like got a degree in something that's like and i'm not even like shitting on them like we were all told you should go to school and you'll get a degree but like then you go you get like you study sociology you study poetry again no knock on them

they were told that they would get jobs of course they don't get jobs and they're like $200,000 in debt and then have to work at a restaurant yeah yeah exactly it's really unfair but really all you need is a license for that and then you can start yeah you don't even need to like go to school I feel like most of the people most of the people not not like not like the old old school people like there are people I work with and that I have worked with that have been doing it like I used to advertise in the newspaper honey you know like back in those these new queens don't know how it's done anymore yeah like they didn't necessarily go to school but not that many people went to college like then like people were like and it's

funny you mentioned like other degrees is my off our office manager is has a degree in psychology but turns out she's like sick at real estate so well it probably comes in handy when dealing with you. Exactly. I was the same to them. I'm like, people pay for cameo. Do you guys get me free all day?

You should start charging them then. Sorry, guys. I know. I'm like, I start charging them. Don't talk to your boss unless you buys a cameo. Only talk to your boss to cameo. Yeah.

That would go over great. You'd be like, what the hell are you doing? Wait, so what's your boss like? Well, maybe you don't want to talk about it. It's your,

it's up to you. Um, a quick profile. He's like, Persian A lot of people in real estate are Persian Right And he's like He like loves me

There's I come with a lot Like I'm a pain in the ass But like You're also really good at your job I imagine Exactly That's the thing

Is I'm like You don't stop talking I'm like yeah I know But like I don't stop talking To clients and landlords either So I'm just like It's just my

He's always like keep folk I have a problem of focusing. I'm like a little ADD. But yeah, I know that's great. I mean, if I didn't love them all, I wouldn't have been there for seven years already. But back, so how I got into real estate, so I graduated and there were no jobs. But that was cool because I wanted to work in real estate anyway. So I, so my degrees in marketing because I was like, okay, for business, that's like the funnest one. Like I don't do numbers. I don't do math. Well, it's like selling. I don't get it. Gay guys are really good at that. Gay guys are very good at marketing.

And selling stuff in general. I mean, like you, you're selling apartments, basically. You know, you could. Yeah. Yeah. I'm selling it. I'm selling the neighborhood, too. Right. I love he's Boston. But so, um, I got this job and I was like so proud of myself, because I was like, I got a job, the first interview that I had out of college. Well, it was not the world's most legitimate brokerage. I mean, I mean, I mean, people from that work that would probably see this so I'm going to say it's great for some people and not

wasn't good for me I didn't do well I wasn't like good at I didn't really have any like they trained you basically how to do the stuff in the office and how to not get them sued and then like pre-screen clients and like

show like the actual stuff they kind of just were like trial by fire like we'll see if so I lasted like a year I had some good months I had some bad months it wasn't that good and I ended up getting in a fight with the CEO and I was like

I will not be hanging up you will not be hanging up on me I will be the one that will be hanging up on you and you don't get to say when this conversation is over I do goodbye good for you some crazy shit like that so then yeah I really thought real estate wasn't for me

I was like I wasn't I sucked at that like I mean no some months was great at it. Some months I sucked at it and just like they just really focused on the bad there you can say I guess so

I went into pharmacy I was a pharmacy tech for like a couple of years. That was fun-ish I almost wanted to pharmacy school thank God I didn't because I'm like not good at science I don't know what I was thinking but yeah you might have killed some people with some

improper cocktail mix exactly yeah like but my whole thing was I don't know why I would need to go to school for six you like I never see my boss like at the pharmacy like I never see the pharmacist or the pharmacy manager anyone like splitting atoms or like mixing portions Ben I don't know you that well but I feel like you are someone who needs to be moving around like walking from yeah like in your videos you know where you like you speed up the portion where you're walking into the apartment I always love imagining that that's how fast you actually walk

and you didn't edit it at all. Some, exactly, well, some days, some days. Depends on how many monsters I've had. But, yeah, I like, I can't sit still for that long.

I have the same issue. I think it's also a gay, a gay guy thing. Yeah. Like, moving around. We're fast-paced people. You're fast-faced people. Yeah.

You walk probably at like a 4.5. mile an hour pace oh my yeah there are some days where I like stopped tracking it but I was like just even today just to get the video because I like wanted to stop in my house first because I just had too much stuff in my bag and I was like I'm not gonna I don't feel like carrying all that so I just my house is like a like a block from the trains I was like I popped home but then it was zero point seven miles there and zero point seven miles back but I really don't feel like I walked a mile and a half that's nothing yeah I know the mile and a half It's like nothing to me. I can, I can, I need. But, yeah, so I was a pharmacy tech. That was fun. And then I just, like, couldn't work there anymore. I, like, just also, that was, like, a point in my life when I stopped working that,

that was drinking, like, a lot. So then I kind of, like, took a break, like, dried up. And then I was like, all right, I'm going to find a job. And then it still wasn't the best economy in 2015. So, like, I was applying for jobs, but I was like, I need some. something like I need a job ASAP and I was like I don't even care so I worked at the Starbucks and Cohasset I was going to ask you you've ever been a barista because I have I've been a barista as well you were the at Starbucks oh yeah where you're at

Starbucks I was no I was not I was that like stupid little indie gay cafes that are like probably worse what okay what was it like being a barista for you um I can't remember because I drank too much during um like It was so horrible. It was so horrible. Like, I liked everyone I worked with except for, like, the top, like, two managers. So it was, like, everybody was cool with me except for the people that actually, like, are in charge of me. She was such a fucking bitch.

Oh, my God. Sarah was her name. Oh, my God. Lesbian? Like, no, no. She was a former, she used to be a cop and then she became a Starbucks manager. And I'm like, okay, I can see the. Yeah. And we I was like trying to follow like she's she was Korean and she was adopted and I have two adopted Korean cousins. We kind of had that in common. But then she was her and this up this pig face broad. What was her name? Um, fat Kim. Um, he said it's like openly mock openly mock me about like being about my glow up and like shit. I probably should have called partner resources. But no. That's like literally like illegal.

Yeah, I know. Have you ever, okay, this is, this is a crazy question, but I'll preface it by saying, I have been legally hate-crimed. I can't speak any more about it because I'd signed an NDA, but I've been legally hate-crime in New York City. Boston, crazy, you know, a lot more homophobic. Have you ever been, like, hate-crime? Not.

Not legally. Not officially. Not traceable Not said I'll tell you what it's Besides Starbucks She used to like Openly make fun of me

But like She just made fun of me to like Everybody else So then they'd be like Oh my God I'm like I can't believe Sarah I said that about you And I'd be like

What did she say Because I didn't know Until I got told It's like okay It's called discrimination And I'll just put you on to it Keep it in mind Because you can make

A pretty little bag Off being a victim Okay I'll say that Anyways So I want to know more about, like, what it's like in a day and a life for you. Like, how many apartments are you going to a day?

And also, like, I want to start here. Clients or landlords? Which one do you like more? Or hate more, maybe I should say. It depends. I think in general, there are so many things, so many people. Boston's such a huge rental market that a lot of them are management companies.

Ah, sure. You know what I mean? Like, landlords, like, everything's appellate. They're like, to submit an application, do one, two, three, and four. You have to go to like a web portal. And it's being paid to be pleasant. So, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. And there are some landlords I just love working with.

I like, like, random, like, old school, like, landlords, everyone's a while. Clients, just, I, when I, when I, get good ones. I love them. Like, I love some of the people I've worked with. Some of the people that are looking for a part, like, I don't know if they understand that I don't get paid unless you rent the apartment. Right.

I don't think that, I don't know where they think I'm getting paid from or why they think my time, like, why would you like hire somebody and then at the end of the story be like, I have no money. Does that happen? Well, now I don't either. Has that happened where people are like, I love this beautiful apartment, but I actually have zero dollars? It's always the moving cost.

You're like, well, I'm not really trying to spend more than like $3,000. And I'm like, well, this apartment is $3,200 and first last security fee. I can probably get last month dropped for you, but that's $9,000 and $6,600. So you're not getting... Yeah. Well, that's standard. Like, it's so much... I know.

And it's like, oh, there's a brokerage fee. I'm like, what do you think the fucking thing I had you signed saying when I explained that to you, like, 30 minutes ago? Right. Right. They're like, oh, the landlord doesn't pay that. I'm like, no. Because I, if he did, I would have told you. Right.

Or just like, I don't know. I was in this transaction in September that, like, I... have never been so happy that somebody moved into that somebody moved in and was not my problem anymore i feel so bad for whoever that landlord was um just it was like every single second every single second was something but just like a very particular person who's just like complaining yeah very particularly not interested in paying for anything i got them 200 i got them 200 dollars off the monthly rent i got last month rent dropped mm-hmm I got them the mid-month moving date that they wanted.

And then at the whole thing, they're like, do you think that they'd waived security deposit too? That was when I snapped. Because I took a $650 haircut on the fee to shut them up. Right. Which is that 60% of that out of my pocket. But I'm just like, I'm in too deep. Like, I need to make that.

You know what I mean? And I'm like, I'm in keeping, to shut them up, I'll just do, we'll just make the fee in even three grand. Right. And then at the end of it, they're like, can we, we really don't want to pay a security department. You really don't want to pay as, really? Really? Really. That was when I snapped. And that, like, I can't imagine doing it.

And then eventually they were like, oh, oh, oh, yeah, I guess, I guess Ben does have an off switch. I am so bad at, like, customer, like, relations. I used to be, I mean, I've been a barist. I've been a waiter. I was a maid for a bit and like well believe it or not the made one was the easiest because yeah because like appliances you're cleaning they don't talk back right they don't have they're not like clean me better but it's like I mean when I was waiting tables it's just like would you would you just shut up would you just shut up you know like I could never

people's food no my god no no but apartments is like it's almost it's it's still like very personal you know people have ideas about what they want what they don't want what's the most like what's the biggest deal you've made the biggest like in terms of money yeah money this is like one of my best deals because i totally pulled this out of nowhere so we had this exclusive in southy and like even though southy i like southy's like bro boy capital that's like mark Walberg tea, right? Yeah. He's from Dorchester.

That's even worse. The native Dorchester, I don't know. Dorchester's like chic. Dorchester's like, Southie's like the yuppiest place. Like, Southie, everybody that lives in Southie works somewhere in the financial district. Right.

Like, went to, you went to like a select few schools, like BC, UNH, UVM, Konypiac Fairfield. I don't know and they grew up in like insert like upper middle class Boston suburb here and they all are like you know they're like the type of people who's like parents had a Volvo and then they got their driver's license and the parents bought a Beamer and then they gave them the Volvo you know is that like Cambridge is that Cambridge is like Cambridge is like Super liberal, like Elizabeth Warren, like granola eating freaks. I hate Cambridge.

I hate just every time I'm in Cambridge, just everybody's like, moving so fast. And they, like, have, like, a reusable, like, cup sourced, like, from sustainable plastics reused from, and, like, the coffee was made by, like, sad orphans that in Somalia and 50% of the prosies go to whatever. and they're like on the phone because they're so fucking important and the fiscal responsibility of that

hardly seems feasible just shit like that constantly they're like just so I'm like I get it you're smart you know who else is really smart me but I don't talk about it like no for sure

I get it you like teach at Harvard that's cool like some people do that like you don't what do you think about Elizabeth Warren she's from Cambridge right I kind of like Like her She's always

I'll be honest with you Ben I don't disagree with her politically But she has always Annoyed the fuck out of me Because of exactly The type of person You just described

You know Yeah It just I like I like I like her Because she stands up to Donald Trump I like that

For sure Same with I was not a fan of Michelle Wu For a while The mayor Until she stood up to Donald Trump And I'm like Okay

I think she's not a good She's not doing a good job I think I could do better But you probably could You know I probably couldn't But you know I used to work in politics I could manage your campaign Oh my God

Ben Smith for mayor 2020 Whatever the next cycle Put the two bends together We're gonna change Boston We're gonna nuke Yeah Ben Squared Ben Squared

Ben Squared is nuke in Cambridge So So the biggest deal So Southie Is there's so much Southies, there's so much money to be... There's so much money to be made in larger bedroom apartments.

Right. And it's like... The amount of... It's not that much more stressful. Like, it's stressful when you're collecting one sixth of the money from six different people that are selling it

and somebody dropped off a check and I'm like, what the fuck is this for? And then I'm like, our poor account, our poor account and she is like a... sweet soul for putting... up with my bullshit all the time. I'm like, did you get this? Because, like, they were supposed to screenshot the transaction and send me it, but I don't have their phone numbers. Whatever.

Anyway, so it was $8,200 for a six-bed. And it turned out because we had an exclusive, like, off the street, that then they added one more person. And then I just, like, happened to have this landlord contact who just, it just fell into line so nicely. And, like, yeah, I had no idea was going on with their money and everything but it was like oh my god there's just six people and six cosigners they were all young they out most of me the cosigners right and like i'm like did i get this person's idea have i ran their credit yeah oh jesus like it was my first because i'd never done anything bigger than four beds before right well congratulations sounds like quite a steal for you i know it was it was great that was great i had so much fun with that money when i was done

What did you spend? I probably used it to pay back things I bought like six months before. Right. Okay, well, speaking of things that you're buying, I would be remiss if I didn't ask about, one, the makeup routine, and two, where do you get all the clothes you wear? Because I love, I love your makeup, and I love all the patterns you're wearing the scarves you've got on, like walk me through the makeup routine, and then tell me where you're buying all the clothes. the makeup routine

it begins begins with a nice fresh shower and then okay so it's I use two primers one for pores one for one that's called

face glue that makes it stick better so we get that and then it's a layer foundation then color correcting then powder to set the color corrector then another layer of foundation then a layer

of powder and then another layer of powder and then another layer a foundation just because why not. Right. You've already got it out. Yeah. Then we go out, then we go on with the bronzer. That usually takes over.

And then always all dark, the darkest brown I can find, but I'm not black. I don't do black, just dark brown all here. Whatever is going on for here. I like, I go on phases where I'm like, I do my makeup only this way for like two weeks. And then it's like as if that never happened. And I'm like, no, nope, this is the way. This is the only way. And then repeat the makeup routine.

And then I like, I get most, I honestly get most of my makeup. Like, I like Alta and Sephora, but I like Alta and Sephora for, like, things I know I like. Right. I mean, I've been dragged into, like, Sephora's by, like, so many girlfriends of mine. and the way it's like a full police state there's just like some twink with a full beat like following you around asking you what you want and I'm just like

I am here with a woman like I'm not yeah and then they like try to like put like samples on you and stuff and I'm like would you would you beat it faggot please but I'm sure they have like they have really nice products they do my thing is like you go in there and there's like problems you didn't know

you had until they introduced it to you. They're like are you they're like oh sagging like this under your eye I'm like well fuck I didn't know that that was a problem but now I know

how to fix it but that's $56 right well they invent the problem to tell you the solution are you into they're like oh you're looking for foundation have you tried Armani whatever and I'm like no I haven't because it's $96 so even if it was like

even if I just had unlimited money, it's just like, I don't want to spend that much money on that. Like, like, I have my things. Like,

I have the Anastasia Beverly Hills Bronzer. That's, like, not cheap, but whatever. But, like, the urban decay, I pencil, whatever the hell that's called,

that's, like, not cheap. And then I usually use, like, morphie or, like, whatever foundation. But I like to experiment.

Like, I like to try new things. I wear a lot of drugstore makeup, like CV, is, like, my favorite store, which is interesting because I used to be pharmacy tech at Rite Aid, but now that's

Walgreens, so whatever. Yeah, like, Walgreens and CVS is, like, the best because I'm like, I want to try, like, if I want to, like, example, purple highlighter was in for a while. Right. And I was like, oh, purple highlighter. I'm going to get into that.

Like, that seems great. Like, for your, like, cheekbones and nose and, like... Yeah, so it's like, yeah, for like so I was like I'm into that I don't know if that's going to look good on me I don't know if that's going to like look good now and then look like shit in two hours

and I'm going to go pay $899 for the pop cosmetics and not $32 at Sephora right right I mean that just makes sense Are you a Maxinista? I am the queen of T.J. Max I fucking love T.J. Max. Marshalls.

Yeah. You seem like a Max and Easter to me, which I mean... Nordstrom rack. Nordstrom rack is... Not for you. It's a B plus. It's a B plus to me. I'm like... They have a jewelry there.

T.Js is always an A. The shittiest TJ's is better than like a normal store. Right. Like the marshals in East Boston's not that good, but it's like I can walk to a marshals. I can't complain. Right. The worst, the best T.J. Max, a.k.a. the worst situation for my personal finances is on the corner of Mass Ave and Newberry Street. And if I like don't, like, my train stops are either Heinz Convention Center or there's the Kenmore one, which is right there.

But if I want to smoke a cigarette or if I have a phone call to make or if I, like, don't want to be on the train yet, it's a few minute walk to the other one, but I have to walk by the three-story T.J. Max. in the nicest part of Boston. So it's just like, oh, I could just walk right in there. And then I do. And then $85 later, I'm like, well, all right. I guess I'm not getting Uber Eats tonight. Well, I want to ask you about just a few more questions if you don't mind. Are you short on time?

Are you good? I could rant all night. Okay, perfect. I, so I've never really been to Boston. I was once on a, like a, I had a train transfer from New York to, I was going to Maine, and I had like a couple hour layover in Boston, but I don't know it very well. I have some friends from there. I've always wanted to visit, but, I mean, what would you recommend?

Like, are the gay bars fun? Um, there are some. That's the other thing that I don't love about Boston is that, like, Like, the fun laws, like, fun is outlawed. There's happy hours against the law. Discounting, you can't have sales on alcohol. You can't have sales. You can't have specials on drinks.

It's against the law. I thought Boston was such a drunk city. It is, only until 2 o'clock. Liquor stores must close at 11. Nothing's allowed to be on sale in the liquor store. When I went to New Orleans, the bottle of vodka I bought, I used extra bucks. I use CVS extra box. CVS doesn't even sell liquor in mass.

Girl, it's party central. You can drink any time. You can walk out of a bar with a drink. I love New Orleans. One of my favorite cities. It's so fun. Much fun. Like, what I like to know New Orleans is I get really drunk,

but there was always at least 10 people around me drunk than me. I win again. Absolutely. And it's just like, it's so much more fun. And like, I just love the way it looks. It's, no winter. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah.

It's like, awesome. awfully humid, though. I love the humidity. It's weird. It's not good for my skin. It's not good for my skin. Oh, it's so good for my skin. But for Boston,

for what is the thing is, the club, everything closes it too. Right. Yeah. And it's like sometimes I want to be out until like 3.30. Right. Do you do after parties? Do you ever go back to someone's house? Yeah. Yeah. People will do after parties and stuff,

but... Not me. I don't bring people back anymore, but when I used to live in the North End, I'd always just be like, everyone coming to my house. I don't think my remains would like that anymore. But, um, so like, um, what were they going to say? Gay bars in Boston, there's some good ones. There's some fun ones. There's a lot of them are kind of corny. Um, but my favorite shadow goes to Blend in Dorchester and Savon Hill. I love Blend. I like, D-Bar-2 um what do you like about about blend like what makes it good what's the perfect gay bar for benjamin smith no cover um they like me like i haven't done anything really bad there so like a place that hasn't kicked you out before yeah i don't think i've ever been kicked out a blend good for me um like i haven't done anything bad there i never run into anyone i don't like there

for some reason. It's just like it always works out. Right. It's like not the craziest club. Like if I want to do like a crazy club club club, like legacy and stuff. But the thing is that like the crazier the club, the more rules there are. And the louder is in the, you can't talk. You can't talk to people.

I mean, I hate clubs. I mean, I like like a gay dive bar. But like the club, I'm like it's, it's maybe it's because I'm getting older. But I'm like, I actually want to like park it, sit down, have some drinks, talk to my friends. meet people but like when it's so fucking loud you can't even talk to i like can't even i can't even pick up a guy because i can't talk to exactly it's like what is your name and they're like right like right i hate that i know i love anywhere that has a latin night though because i kind of swing that way i don't know are you love latinos i have not dated white guy like for like at least 10 years

um i mean i'll tell you guys most of my boyfriends have been Latino as well I don't know. I don't get what it. It's like the accent. I don't know. I'm attracted to like dark hair, like darker, like tan, dark eyes just. And then like the accent sometimes, like my ex was from Honduras. Oh, nice.

He, yeah, he, the crazy, he talks like a Chola girl kind of. He'd be like, oh, my God, why should you be doing? Oh, my God. Why should do that? Don't do that. Yeah. I tell you, oh, my God, I tell you to stop. And I was just about everything

There was a fight about everything Was this a psychotic boyfriend? Yeah, this is the one I moved into Princeton Street Um, hopefully maybe he'll Maybe he'll hear this and See this But no, I Um

What the hell was I gonna say? So, um I love a Latin night as well Ben I go and party in Jackson I love I I fuck with the Latinos Like I Yeah

That's one thing that attracted me to East Boston is, is a very high population of Latinos, specifically Colombians. A lot of Dominican from Boston, too, right? There's a lot, yeah, there's a good amount of Dominicans, but not really in East Boston. East Boston's mostly Colombian, and then like El Salvadorian, Guatemala, and Honduran. There's no Mexicans. There's not really a lot of Puerto Ricans. There's not really a lot of Dominicans. Like, when I meet someone in there from Mexico, I'm like, oh, my God, like, you're from real Mexico.

Right. Yeah, there's not a lot of Mexicans on the East Coast. No. No, there's not. There's a lot of, um, a lot of like other Central Americans. I've never met anyone from like Costa Rica or Nicaragua, though. Ben, can I tell you something crazy right now? Yeah, please. I'm half Costa Rican.

So you have met a Costa Rican. Yay! Yeah. You can check out. Now I just need to meet someone from Uruguay. Uruguayans and Paraguans are like, I mean, I like, I mean, like them but they're they're one of the more random countries in latin america they always kind of yeah nobody's never from there they're very sweet but i mean they're both relatively very stable

countries so not people don't really leave it you know yeah the same thing with costa rica there's not a lot of costa ricans you know yeah there's not there's a lot of them have you ever been to latin america i think you'd like it the only place i've ever been my best friend from high school's wedding was in the dominican republics we went to puntaana nice and like they were like don't leave the resort and that's the first, the only thing I wanted to do was leave that fucking resort.

And like, they have grinders there. Of course they have grinder there, girl. Well, they don't have Uber. That was the problem. So I like, I found this. I wouldn't usually, like, I've never, okay, have I ever slept with a prostitute before? Yes,

but I was I thought that he was my boyfriend. different. I don't know. That's a long story. I understand. Somebody that I was in and out of love with at certain points was a Craigslist hooker. So if they say, have you ever slept with a prostitute? I'm like, I guess. Travel on like resorts and stuff. It's so crazy to me because I'm like, what's the point of leaving your country to just be in like basically your country and another country? You know, it's like that's not travel to me. That's just like, it's like colonial.

It's so strange. I know. I really... I want to... We got to leave the resort like a couple times, but like with the people from the resort to like go to a resort sponsored like thing. And I'm like, no, I want to be like free.

I like want to go to like whatever their version of CBS is. Like yeah, go to the Dominican CVS and get some purple highlighter. Exactly. I wonder what crazy makeup they might have there. Like God knows. I bet you'd love it. But like, what was I going to say? And if you come to Boston,

feel like yeah the gay nights are like oh it's like fine it's like i always have fun but it's what you make it what about the restaurants best restaurant worst restaurant in all of pasta okay i love so i lived in the north end and that's like the restaurant capital because that's like the little italy sure um i love nico i love cafe florentine i love a lot of them there's a lot some of them aren't still there from when i lived there because But, like, what, like red sauce restaurants, like classic Italian? Yeah, like, really, like, Italian-y restaurants. They're so good.

Okay. There's a lot of, like, fancy. There's no Michelin restaurants in Boston, I don't think. But there's, like, some, like, really fancy restaurants. I don't know. I don't do that. I just, like, don't like that, like a coarse dinner, not for you? No, I don't eat, like, fancy food.

I don't eat a lot of different foods. I have, like, very select foods that I eat. So what do you usually eat? Well, since I'm on the menu I eat Mexican slash El Salvadorian slash Central American food Papuces are my favorite

Love papuses My can't those papusa I love papuces I love papuces I love I get that purpoosa is probably once a week And I love them

Boston is a lot of like There's no like pizza chains Like there's no pizza huts really there's no Papagino's, there's no domino's. There's a ton of, like, independent, like, mom and pop, like, pizza places that are so good. The best pizza in Boston, Ernesto's on Salem Street and the North End. It's, like, $6 to $8 a slice, but the slices are, like, a quarter of pizza. And they have all these different flavors, and it's just, like, so good.

Whoever Ernesto is does a fantastic job. Pupu's being the only place I don't love in East Boston for Pupus is, I like the papouses. I just think the racist is this place to Pasio on Chelsea Street. Racist against whites? Against, yeah. And I'm like, I'm like the best. I'm like, I'm like, I'm on your guys' side.

Right. You're like, I love you. So I'm calling. I'd be like, hi, can I place a pickup order? And they're like, yeah. And then somehow it always ends up getting hung up on. And I'm like, I'll call back. And then I'll end up on again.

And yeah, when I'm like, hi, can I place it? But then I'm like, oh, I'm put it. to put an order in to takeout and they're like oh okay well we'll play what you can say yeah okay uh wait wait but they don't pari yvar it means to go pari yvar okay yes then they're like okay well they're like all right white boys tried a third time and now he's like playing our game i guess we'll take his order this right but i feel like they like they appreciate someone trying but also you can

probably get papuces anywhere and not have to go to some like people who won't Take your horse. Yeah, exactly. Somebody that's... And I'm like, it's not like it's only happened one time. It's happened, like, every time. That one big you want to try more. I can go to Cactus grill, or is my accent called a Cactus?

I just call it Cactus now. You want to go to Cactus? Let's go get some of cactus. He's... Not to bring him up with him, but I just... This story was one of her... This is one of my, like, story. that I just tell people.

Please. So he was from Honduras. He'd been here for like 10 or 11 or 12 years. I don't know. So he's about my age. Talks ridiculous. So he used to believe in this thing called Pesta. And I've never heard of any...

And I've gone out of my way to ask other Central Americans if they've ever heard of this. Pest. Pesta. Pesta. So... At, like, 145 a.m., 230 a.m., 3.30 a.m., 3.30 a.m. 3.45.

He'd wake me up and be like, Ben, Ben, Pesta's here. Pesta's here. And I'm like, no, I don't want to play the Pesta game again. So he'd be like, come on, you got to go let her in. And I'm like, I'm not going to go let a ghost in the house. So Pest is a... She knows a ghost.

She has spirit. come on you got to go letter in what you got to go do is say pesta pesta i welcome you in and i'm like i'm not welcoming in this ghost to come eat me no she don't eat you she just make everything rot like all the food in the fridge gonna go bad and i'm like why would i invite that in my house he's like come on you got to go do it come on i've never heard this so is it it's a It's a spirit that is supposed to, like, bless food? No, it makes everything raw. Oh, it makes everything raw.

So the food will go bad because pest is going to come in. And I'm like, if it's a ghost, well, he wanted me to invite this not ghost spirit. Yeah. That will make everything rot, invite her in. I guess she was at the back door. Okay. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I don't like to play the pasta game.

And he's like, it's like, come on, you gotta go let her in. Like, you go say festa, Pesta, please come in. I'm like,

I'm not saying please to a ghost. He's like, I tell you she know a ghost. She's a spirit. Come on. Whoa. So then it would go on. Oh my God.

It would go on. So you would be, so that's why the roommates were like, we need out of this house because this husband is begging past night. Yeah.

Not only was he like an insane. It would drink. and, like, I've never seen in somebody get drunk and then leave, like, planet Earth, like, quite like he would. Right. In addition, also, he was attempting to make me bring ghosts in. Yeah.

I mean... She don't eat you. I'd be like, I'm not going to ever come let her in to come eat me, and then he'd be like, no, she don't eat you. Like, as if I'm going to be like, oh, okay, she doesn't eat me. Like, one time he, like, smeared butter on the doorframe to feed him. pasta and I'm like I guess pasta eats butter

so it's like it's more of like a sacrificial take the butter take the butter smear it on my door eat pasta I don't I mean I'll tell you I've from my family in Central America and you know all the Central Americans I know I've never heard of

Betta like I have no idea what that could be but there's all kinds of weird for there's all kinds of weird folklore rituals in Central America that probably very you know village by village and probably one where he

grew up. My like this girl and her friend that I know that was my roommate for a little bit this girl, she was from Honduras and I was like oh my God please tell me you know about Pesta no her friend no the cashier at the bodega had a Honduras shirt on I was like oh my god are you from Honduras

and she's like yeah I was like do you know but you must know about Pasta the not ghost spirit and eats butter and makes everything rot and she's like what she's like what are you talking um right the guy at the bodega that I said that sells me my flavored vase like he's never heard a pasta I think it's it's nobody has ever heard a pasta it's maybe a family thing for that man yeah I'm like I don't know what they're doing in Alantita Honduras but their food keep butter on you I feed the pest of the ghost.

That's what I do. Oh, we never got into how many, we never finished day in the life. I can still do. Please, please. Okay, so I work for the office as well, like in addition to being an agent. I do listing management.

Like, I get our listings, basically. And, like, keep them up to date and stuff. And then I do our marketing for our, like, websites and stuff. And so I do. do that 10 to between 2 and 4 and then I'm unleashed

on the town um so I usually like if it's busy season I'll try to pop two showings off after that but if it's two like if it's one apartment I can probably get two done maybe three

and then in a dish so but if I have like a good one I'll like all right I'll set that I try to not show more than five or six units because then it just gets confusing. So I try to knock out, like, the bad ones. So I usually make a list for the people. I'll just pull everything that makes sense and then go through it and eliminate ones.

Like, okay, they said they want laundry and unit. This is nice. That's a deal breaker. We're not going to bother with that one. Sure. Like, okay, the bedrooms, I know I've seen this one. The bedrooms, one's big, one small. It's not going to work.

Their roommates. Or on the other, if they're like a couple and they want an office, great. Right. So, like, then I'll plan, okay, I'll plan the order of the showings in case I need to get a video of any of them while I'm like on my, on my, uh, row, which is why I hate fucking daylight savings time or I like, whatever we're in now sucks. And the reason they do it, it's like literally, I mean, speaking about how Boston is like such a colonial town, the entire country is like so stuck in the past when it comes to daily savings time. the reason they do it is because it's like it was like so farmers could get more daylight and I'm like

who the fuck is a farmer anymore I know it's like what about real estate agents that need daylight? What about gay real estate agents fuck farmers? I fucking hate farmers. I'll say it. I know. Like thank you for making our food but like girl they don't even make out

the food. Are there even like farmers anymore or is it all like corporate like farms? So I'll tell you this I am from Des Moines, Iowa. Oh, that's fun. I mean, it's a city, it's not fun. But it's a city, but like, the entire state is, you know, corn outside of Des Moines and pigs.

And it used to be, you know, smaller family farms. Maybe someone would be, you know, like local dynastic kingpin and own a lot of land. But, I mean, Monsanto, all of these like seed companies, all these big ag companies, they just approach these people and buy up. They've bought up the entire state. Same thing for most of like agrarian America. It's all owned by the same way like, you know, you said earlier, like you don't talk to that many landlords anymore because it's all like property management companies. Farmers don't really exist anymore.

There's people who, yeah, like cultivate crops and stuff, but they all work for some major agricultural company. Yeah, that's what I figured. And then the government still gives them massive amounts of subsidies. Like, and it's like, why are we paying money? Santo. Anyways, back to your day of the life. You get your listings.

So the most I ever like to show is like five or six just because logistically like having to figure them out especially I don't drive Massachusetts as a courtesy to the people

of the Commonwealth. I don't operate a motor vehicle. I have before. I used to. I actually kind of lost my license. but, and I just never got it back because...

What happens, DUI, let me guess. Suspicion of DUI. I ended up actually... Suspicion. I got not guilty. Good for you, Diva. Because I, like, wasn't guilty, but, like...

Another time the cops were, like... It was on the South Shore, so, like, they probably see, like, one or two real cases in a calendar year, and then the rest of it is, like, someone's like,

oh, dear, there's a car I don't recognize parked in front of my... three million dollar home because somebody please shoot them away for me like or like teenagers walking or like right not white person was in the town um person of suspicious or whatever so or a gay guy they probably thought you were they probably that you weren't white they were like he's a questionably tan i'm like dude i just went to sun factory bro um so then they like they were trying like i don't know i apparently failed the the field test because um i counted backwards from 100 i skipped like 76 or something i went like 75 77 75 and then i still

went into the 60s that is so much more like i counted 40 numbers back okay i forgot one but like whatever right like i think that's a good job as one of those stupid boston Higg cops to count backwards from 100. They probably have a seizure. They're probably like, oh, 15. And then I took too many steps. When I did the foot, yeah, they were like, oh, we only said for you to do 10.

And you're a gay man who walks fast. It's literally homophobic. Yeah, I'm like, you're just picking out me again. And then I was like trying to get my stuff out of the cars or arresting me. They're like, well, bring your purse. And I was like, um, all the bags are. they're such fucking pieces of shit i know i don't get along with like cops and you know who i really don't get along with security guards at stores well they have an ego problem yeah i'm like oh you're too

fucking stupid to pass the cop test you're too you're too stupid to be a cop in boston do you have do you have a pulse yeah they always have like reasonable suspicion because it's like why does he have a bag i'm like um because i haven't bet i don't go to my house for 12 hour periods of time Because I'm like, oh. Also, is that, sorry, is it against the law to have a bag? Exactly. I'm like, what do you think is, and like, what do you think I'm stealing? Like.

So you beat the DUI. This is, I beat that. I beat the suspect, yeah, so I beat DUI. And but because I refused the breathalyzer, which I didn't refuse, I attempted to negotiate. And at a certain point, they with decided that they didn't want to play my game anymore. I've always heard it's best to refuse because then they take you to the station and they like book you and then you like have to do one. But at that point, so much time has elapsed that your alcohol volume will most likely be lower. That's what I've heard. I don't know

I told them. I've been told I've heard never to take it. But I was like I will consider taking the breathalyzer if you let me call. I don't know who the fuck I thought I was a call like 1-800 lawyer i don't know but it was a point of contention for me that i didn't have my cell phone i was like wait a minute how come i had the right to a lawyer five minutes ago and now you're like you have to breathe in this thing without talking to anybody so i was like give me my phone and then they were like do it and then we'll give you your phone and i was like i'll do it if you give me the phone and they were like well right we'll give you the phone and eventually they just were like okay we're just going to count this as refusing so

even though I got not guilty in Massachusetts the DMV and the law are separate things so I still lost my license for three years but I didn't need it and I haven't gotten it I could have gotten it back five years ago but if I had the there's a fee

and a fine and a station fee and a reinstation fee if I had well and then not to mention then you have to buy the car and then you have to pay insurance and gas and you can be on the train like whatever Yeah, exactly.

I'm like, I'd rather just take an Uber, like, and just sit there, and then I got my, I got my emails done. I get, instead of, like, driving where I'd still try to get, instead of driving, hitting a couple people, wrapping a car around a pole. Exactly. Because I just, I'm not good at drive. I don't understand where the car begins. I don't understand where it ends. I can't figure out where the sides. I just don't have that.

skill and you know what whatever I'm very skilled in a lot of other things so whatever I don't need to drive I don't think game I should drive I don't need to drive I don't like I'm a passenger princess like I don't play that game exactly so then anyway so back to it so showings yeah so I try to

like when it's the busy season I try to have a showing every day after work but I mean some days like I need to like do marketing and So some days I'll just stay in my office after I'm done doing office marketing and I do my own marketing and catch up on my own stuff But yeah the showings are really like the funest part because I get like so excited like if I know a unit's good I'm like I can't wait until they see this one the whole showing I'm like psyching up.

I'm like I'm only showing them this to show them how bad how much better the fucking last one's going to be right and I like when they like it I get so excited I am, like, so proud of myself. I'm like, wow, somebody, like, has a house they like, and I did that. That's sweet. Yeah, you should feel a sense of accomplishment. There was some, and I think that this, like, last season, I think I did some really good ones. And I think that, like, when I look back on, like, my deals for each year and then I see what comes on market again the next year, I'm like, okay, they stayed.

So. Right, right. Yeah. Retention. I have very high retention of people, like, renewing from after I put them in. So great. Good for you, man. thank you it's like I'm not like the best really like they're like I don't you're good at it

whatever I'm good enough at it like you're good at it I want to I want to wrap up with one last topic conversation okay as you've done I've seen you do a couple interviews and I've been following you on Instagram since you had like just a few thousand followers I've been a fan for a long time I'm done oh I love that and I'm wondering I mean what's what's next for you like what do you want to do because you have you have you have a little instagram following now not a little one you have a good one so what's the dream the dream i want to be on tv really bad i've just always wanted like i've always known i'm supposed to be famous i just never quite was able to until reasonably figure out exactly what famous thing i was going to do did i think that it was

did I ever I mean when I started with TikTok and the Instagram videos I really I did it despite these other girls in the office that I thought were cheesy I thought that they were

obsessed well so they were doing they were like doing TikTok there was the three of them it took them like two weeks to come up with their name and then their name was stupid and then it took them like another forever to get the

to get a video done and then half their videos were like them their like neighborhood showcase and it's just like three girls out drinking I'm like that's not and then one of them was doing like karaoke and that was one of them was like a theater girl and like wanted to showcase her chops

and would do karaoke in the bathroom and I'm like that doesn't show you anything about the fucking apartment right I'm like I want to like show people the actual apartment and have people discuss because the things I know that people love real estate porn like deep down

everybody loves real estate porn the amount of time like people like spend browsing Swillow or whatever the fuck it's called like it's crazy people love that shit yeah and I'm like and if I have a hilarious

fabulous diva queen telling me about the apartment exactly I think that's what blew me up is a lot of Instagram and TikTok that's real estate focus

one they're boring there's no techno music nobody's wearing makeup nobody's nails are good and a lot of it is within its own community like somebody posts like new listing and it's just like and then somebody from their agency

comments like great new listing right well I mean most of the people who follow you most people who follow you aren't like looking for an apartment in Boston. They just want to see you talk about the apartment of Boston. Yeah. It's like,

it's your personality, Ben. I broke out of like a lot of them, like a lot of the real estate videos just stay within the real estate world. Right. And then I kind of broke out of that into like real people world. Right. Right. So I think that's, but what I want to do next is I don't know I want a TV show.

If there was like a real housewives of Boston, but like I'd need more. I could see like an HG TV bag for you, for sure. I would love that. I would love that. I don't know. Ben, I'm telling you, I would watch a brother. They don't have any rental shows on there.

They don't have any rental shows on there. Right. They don't. And the thing is the entire market, like, everyone is going to be a renter in like 30 years because Black Rock is buying up every single family fucking home. And so there's a huge and like, yeah. Oh, yeah, of course. And because like the rental market is rent, rent, we're all going to have to

can do it and it's like if you can have someone who is going to be like the fab rental queen you'd be my you'd be my only pick ben and i would 1,000% watch the show that's awesome i would love that that's actually good idea because i didn't realize until now they don't have any rental shows and the thing is like in boston and like in i'm assuming i don't really know what it's like in new york but um in boston rentals are like yeah people are buying things, but rentals are huge because we have so many so many colleges

and then people stay after college. People move here for like we have like the best hospitals. So people move here from Michigan or wherever for the hospitals and rent. And renting like people

will be like my pain in the ass lines were like in Chicago it's not like and I'm like in Chicago it's not like this. You're right. Like there is two agents and fall. not in chicago there's paperwork there's like it's like buying a fucking house renting an apartment here it's like a huge it's like a thing right and there are just some places that are like that and boston happen to be blessed living in one of those it's like i want to get into sales like i do but like that's the sales are like a slow bar i like a nice and quick and easy like just like me

like bam bam bam i think you should you should do more like behind the scenes videos like day in your life get ready with me because i'm I mean, if I can give you my advice. So bad, but I need, I need this thing that I saw. I need like something that clips onto my mirror and like I know the one that I want and it wasn't Marshalls and now it's not. But girls, just buy it on Amazon. You're buying stuff on Amazon already anyway. I know.

I don't know why I don't just buy it on. I want on Amazon and bet if I can give you my advice. I mean, I'm no big media kingpin. But I think the reason my people, like we talked about the reason people like your videos, it's not necessarily because of the realist. that's a part of it, but they like it because of you and they like your personality because you're funny, like you have a very distinguished look, like people are tuning in for you. So give people more of yourself. Get ready with me, restaurant review, day out on the town, because you've already got the people

there. They want more of you. People, yeah, people, I've started doing this stories. Like, people are really loving, I have the series going, so in Iceland, instead of Santa, they have the yule lads and they're like 13 there are 13 of them and they're like I don't know gnomes are like they're elves they're but they're all evil but not like bad evil they're mischievous do yeah mischievous they do something that would be like horribly inconvenient and bad in like the in like the like the like 1700s sure like they'll like today is

his meat hook. He steals meat using a hook. There's sausage swiper who swipes sausages from their steaming and smoking in the rafters. There's like ones that eat like crust off a pans. Like just things that would be like a pain in the ass

in like 1780. So, but apparently nobody knew of. I just thought people knew about them because I knew about them. People are fascinated by that. And I'm just like, I need to do more stuff like that. Yeah, I depend. I think Anything you do, like, people will love just because you're in it.

Truly, like, I think that's all people want. I love that. So just have fun with it and, like, do more, like, personal stuff. That's what I would do. As a fan, that's what I want to see, you know, if I'm your focus group here, you know. Okay. I'm going to take that because people, whenever I do a personal content, people love it. I just like, wait, I have a question about, you mentioned the techno music earlier.

Yeah. You, I mean, that was part of, I was like, what is this video? Because the music was like, I have never heard that music before in a really big video. And it's like pumping techno. And it's usually really loud. But I love that part. I love that part of it. It makes it really fun.

I have always loved that. Where did that come from? I just have always really loved electronic dance music. Even like before it was cool, like when I was in like middle school and people would be like, Oh, you like weird music. Like, you don't like, like, I don't know. Who was cool then? Like, good Charlotte.

Like, I don't know. Like, my chemical romance. I don't know. Like, whatever. And I was, but then, like, in the last 10 years, like, 10 to 15 years, like, Techno music has became, like, mainstream. Yeah. And I'm like, I was right.

I was doing that 10 years before. Yes, dude. So I just, like, the videos are fast-paced. Like, I try to wait no time. Like, like, so I just was like, I just want to put music I like and all my music I like is like that. Wait, Ben, we, I usually put a song at the beginning of each episode and the song at the end of each episode. Do you want to pick the song? We can end on this?

Is there a particular techno song you're really like in love with it? like a million of them i love can i text you that later text me it text me it and i'll put it in for the text me i'm gonna i'm gonna edit this right now and then go and put it out tomorrow so text me your pick for send me two songs can you do that okay yeah i just my problem is i never remember the title of songs or who sings them so i need to go to my spotify playlist like their songs and like i love this song and they're like oh do those things this and fucking i don't know you know your air pods are and you're walking around you're not looking at your phone i get it yeah like like i love yeah i just love dance music's fun well ben i really want to thank you for joining me today i had such a fun time

thanks for having me ben come back anytime you want let me know if you want to like you want to if you want to shout something out if you get an hg tv deal and you do some promo you can the door is open for you to come back and yay my promo my promo for right now is um i am special guest on there's a show in boston it's going to be coming on youtube house queens h a us queens okay yeah so it's about drag queens that live in a house and fight for a weekend um i'm a special guest on it um from i didn't see the whole thing i was out with them for a night and i did the intro and the first elimination as a special guest um it's going to be lit because I know

these girls are fucking crazy and from what I saw from what I saw only one was on the ground with someone pulling the other person before him your wake off so like tune into that that comes out on February 5th

on YouTube I'll show the details yes H-A-U-S queen I'll put the link I'll put the link in the description if I I'm assuming it's on YouTube either way I'll probably be on YouTube I need to find out what the link i'm sure the account is active i'll look for it i'll look for it i'll find it for you okay good i love that um well ben thanks again there's a great time

Oh, oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. You know,