Seeking Derangements - SD 462 - Wet Debby

Episode Date: December 3, 2025

Hello Seekers, Ben here, today Jacques, Hesse and I open up the show with a full recap of what Jacques ate for thanksgiving, then we dissect Laura Loomers abysmal pick up game, and end the show with a Jacques news segment thats truly one for the history books.

Thank you. Yeah. Hello, everyone, welcome to seeking derangements. This is a free episode. So if you like what you hear, go subscribe to our Patreon for weekly bonus episodes. It's been the iconic Hesse of Denny is here with me as well. Hello. Hello, Diva.

Hello. Happy Thanksgiving. Happy after giving. Happy Christmas season. Yeah, I could not wait to be done. Feeling thankful for all the beautiful things in my life. I'm going back to hating it. And it's quite a relief.

Going back to asking for things from old Santa Claus. Exactly. How was your Thanksgiving? What did you do? It was good. A bunch of family, some family came over, some family friends. And my parents have these friends that are from England, so they came over. I guess they don't have it over there.

Yeah, so it was fun. A lot of fun Thanksgiving shenanigans. No fights, no trauma. No, pretty chill, pretty chill. I didn't have any either, which is kind of sad. But, yeah, we just did a chill in it my... Well, I guess there is some trauma because my nephew got me sick. I like absolutely have a fever now.

We did it on Saturday and it's Monday and that little piece of shit gave me a fever. Fuck him. Yeah, maybe if you didn't hit him so much, you would, you know. Right. There'd be less spittle flying. Yeah, let's transfer of germs. I stopped thwacking him all the time. That's true. I'll try that.

I'll just never be in the same room as him again, actually. Yeah. And that'll work. Yeah, it was a really chill Thanksgiving. I made some steak. I made a really good marinated ribeye with maybe Amarone, cinnamon, nutmeg, orange, and some anchovy paste. It was delicioso. Oh, that sounds really good.

Did your Thanksgiving meal have a Latin flair to it, if you will? It sounds like a did, just from... Well, Latin and that Italian, it's a Venetian steak marinade that used to be sold at Bokro, NYC, so I'm ripping off their recipe. Don't worry, everyone. Jock will probably show up here. Sometime we'll get a full list of what he ate for Thanksgiving, and then we can end the show, because that'll take an hour. Yes. I got this check from Kathy Hockel for $200.

Whoa. What does it say? What's in the memo? It says, Governor Hokel and the New York State Legislature are providing you with this inflation refund as part of a broader ongoing F, S&S. part of broader ongoing efforts to help address the rising cost of living. $200 is so funny. That's not a thing.

Don't even send it, girl. Don't remind people that you're not doing anything. $200 is a slap in the face. That is hilarious. You can basically, you can buy the new Call of Duty black ops with that. I know. That's where you're spending it on. No, no, I'm not going to spend it on that.

What are you going to spend it on? I don't know, actually. maybe I'll get like I do need to get my roots retouched so maybe I'll do that that's more than $200 but thank you for the discount

I'm here and we're certainly not getting anything from our fucked up state government but that's fine I don't want anything from them anyways I don't need to I don't want the $2 they'd send me wait has it when is the Latina Grand Theft Auto coming out speaking of video games Oh let me look that up

I think I thought it was supposed to be November Is it not out? I mean, I know it's, like, famous, like, one of the most delayed games of all time. And, yeah, of course, we would all know. I really want to, I really want to play that. Also, though, it's not even close. Like, in the history of delayed games, it's like, yeah. Welcome to work, Diva.

Please get your local track recording. Um, I absolutely. November 19th, 2026, baby. Oh, my God. that's crazy and it's probably going to be delayed again that's how you know it's the real latina one it's never on time yeah you're talking about gta yes my mom yeah we were me and last night stephen uh stayed over because i think my our mutual friend has been hosting our mutual friends for too much time and she's like even tried to have an orgy at her her house

and she kicked him out also can you check your mic set up real quick it sounds like you might be coming through your computer oh no just tap Tap your mic for me, will you? Do it gently. Shack, I have a new energy drink that's at my parents' house. It's called a bloom. Love. It boosts metabolism and supports mood. Nice.

I quit drinking caffeine, so I'm glad that you could finally wake up, though. Whoa, that's major. Wait, really? How did you, you're not doing any more energy drinks? No, and I quit weed, too. It's been three days of each. Are you serious? Are you just trying to do a classic gap?

on us, like the time you said you were smoking crack, which Husset did believe. Yeah. I would have believed if I wasn't in the room with you, but, I mean, Chuck, this is major news. If you literally stop smoking weed, you were, you are hundreds of milligrams. How do you feel? You're using hundreds of milligrams a day. I don't know who I am. I don't believe you.

You're fully lying. Yeah. I have, there's two people living inside me, Jacques and a World War II veteran named Jeffrey, and he's a ghost, and he's a haunted. me for years. Maybe go back to smoking the weed. We don't need split personality. I'm just kidding. Guess what, y'all? I've just pulled a big old gag on you, gagged,

boots the house down, mama gooped. Y'all have just been gooped gag. I'll give it to you. You gagged me. Yeah. We should have known you could never go three days without weed. No, and can I just say, and I'll drop it right after this, but you two are the sucker emcees of the week. Got you, you bail and long-haired bitches.

Period. My mom told me she likes my hair better long, too, Jacques. Oh, see, we finally can agree on something, me and your mother, besides the birth. The birth. The birth of you. I really agreed with her on that one. I said, whoa, Hessa's mom, you really went off on this one. Good job.

Period. I'm often texting Hessa's mom when Hessa makes an accomplishment, just going, good job. She knows what I'm talking about. period. Well, thank you, John. Yeah, that's on period. Poop. How was your Thanksgiving, Jack? What did you eat? Jack, can I get a full list of everything you ate for Thanksgiving? And start

in three, two, one. So the first meal I had, I had a green bean casserole with roasted root vegetables, and then a little bit of cranberry dressing and turkey, and then I had a lot of honey ham, and then I had a lot of honey ham, And then I had a, let's see, I had a cup of coffee.

Actually, I had three cups of black coffee. And I think I ate some more there, but I kind of just tried to forget it because the real meal was the next, was later that night. And I should have just eaten one Thanksgiving. That was the big mistake there. But later that night, I had Asi Buku. Osabuco? Asabuco, yeah, that was what I meant. I kept spelling it, O-Z-Z-Y-Boku.

Asabuco with, under a bed of polenta, and then we got... Who made that? My friend Alex is like a star chef. Ben can testify. He's an amazing cook. I love Alex. That does sound really, really good. It gets better. We had, this is the most amazing cream spinach I've ever had in my life.

It was just like, like, I could have just had a plate of that. I had a big lump of that. They had the most incredible sweet potato casserole that maybe had, like, marshmallows blended into it. It just had such a unique flavor. Creamy, tasty, salty, savory, all at once, sweet. I had cornbread, a cake, a vegetable bread, that Stephen made, I guess. This is what he said, but I don't believe it.

Did you try it? Yeah, I had cram bread. Don't you believe that it was vegetable? And by the way, I just want to say that my family's meal this year from Thanksgiving was fucking garbage. And I should have just skipped it. And I knew it was Mids and I looked around. This isn't the amazing quality that we usually have? And I could look at, I looked at my uncle's pecan pie every year.

Goes to get the most special macon chicken in Louisiana to make these pecan pies. And he burnt it. And so, I mean, it's just like, and so anyway, then I go to Alex's and I'm still eating more than just. that I had like, let me bring up the plate picture because it really can provide more of a detailed backward. I mean, no, I mean, really, though, y'all want to know. Okay, now look at this picture. You can make it the screen art.

That's the leftovers. Okay, that's the leftovers. So there was more than that on your plate? Oh, I ate about three times the size of it. You can see the bread in the middle. There was a mac and cheese made. with like a rue and a um and and they i mean it was just truly the most delicious well anyway he gave me leftover so later that night i went and tried eating a third giving and it was

not third giving that's what it's called when you have three Thanksgiving dinners y'all it was i'm just going to tell you right now it was not giving so i was alone at the house and first wait why at your house or your friend's house he cleared it out alone i went to my friend's house and then left and then went back and later in the night around, I probably left around 11 or 12 and I probably around 1 or 2. I decided to go outside to eat a plate of leftover

food and to smoke and I was eating and smoking and eating and smoking just being a glutton, just being a glutton. And then I accidentally ate too much and I made myself throw up bad and I don't know

but it was bad and then I went and well it's because I over ate Let's just be more real than anything. I filled my stomach up with 15 gallons of food. It was just disgusting. And so I threw up and I thought I was done. And then I ran back inside and I was washing my hands and washing my face. And something just triggered me.

And then I threw up in my sink that is broken that is clogged. And the drain was not messed. it was messed up so it took me about two days well i would imagine your your vomit is so acidic that i probably maybe could have corroded everything yeah you just hear it's like alien blood it's like smoking they had to get the double strength uh drain out to break it up but i didn't have the heart to tell my landlord that that was

what happened i mean fair enough fair yeah i told him well it had look it was clogging before that but i really did a number the amount of sound effects i'm going to have put in that 10 minutes dinner sorry for all of the sorry for all of the like World War II sound effects I'm just happening like listening to you list that off of like how I'm going to have to find so many

explosions and screaming and people running and I actually felt just so I cried later that night after I threw up not because I was upset that I threw up because you know we all make mistakes but I was more upset that I had thrown up the good meal and that I had wasted my an opportunity

for my family to impress me and what do they do just give me the most bullshit meal they could find i mean i just like do your thanksgiving a little bit better no and then my my hippie aunt no because you're not allowed to um my hippie aunt not she's not my aunt she's just uh a date's my uncle she was walking around telling all of my relatives how unhealthy they were for eating garlic and onions and how she's cut garlic and onions out of it. Yeah, that is a big crunchy mama thing. They think they're like

inflammatory. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think it's fair. I mean everything, like everything is inflammatory. If you like, honest God. They just are cutting out sugar and all these different things and like, they're just they're like, oh, we can't eat dried pineapples anymore. And I got their bag

of dried pineapples, but it was just like, I love dried pineapples. I love, I like dried mangoes. That's my favorite dried fruit. That's my favorite. You got to, look, I'll get them for you one day, has it for Christmas, but you got to try the dried air wand mangoes. They really are the top tier. That's what I, they come in these jar. They come in these jar. Like, this is a chili lime mango one. Oh, amazing. Interesting. I, I, um, keep, keep, keep, keep that Glock on me. When I was, um, keep that Rari on me. When I was, uh, what's it called, uh, like,

orthoraxic living in Boston, I used to, that would be my like late night snack slash dessert is I would have like dried mangoes in the freezer and I would eat them and it would be like a cool they really fill you up because I feel like they re-expand in your stomach which is so

Anna of me to say yeah yeah yeah yeah I have we've been on an an attack recently we should kind of back off of it I mean I ate a bunch for Thanksgiving and I am now like I need to not it just makes me feel so tired and like

I mean, granted, I also have a fever, but I am, like, fully blaming having, like, overeating. I eat enough. It's just too much when I, when you give me a situation where I can eat too much. Yeah. It's not fair to me. Speaking of eating too much, today, Brian Johnson once again, actually, it may have been yesterday. I'm not entirely sure, but Brian Johnson once again ate too many mushrooms. And I was on, I believe, like, it's either still happening or, like, wrapped.

I don't even know. but he did his little stunt again. This time he roped in Grimes and like a list of a bunch of CEOs and Mr. Beast to beam in remotely while he's having his trip to talk to him.

Grimes herself was in the room DJing. I saw a clip. It was her playing Beach House to him and he was kind of writhing around on the floor. Okay, here's the list of people. Oh my God. Could you imagine this? It's, okay, Grimes is DJing.

We have Mr. Beast. David Friedberg, Hamilton Morris, Genevieve Jervitson, Mark Benioff, Neval Ravikant, Ashley Vance, who's a man, by the way, Immortal Unk, and someone called Goth Girl. What the hell is an immortal, un? Some probably 40-year-old who's trying to speak slang. I think it's a reference to, I think it's his new girlfriend, and it's a reference to someone posted a picture

of him and Brian Johnson and was like this is baller he tries to become a mortal just so he can get a goth girl and it's just like she's just a brunette like she's not gother right right right I can't imagine a group I would want to be around less on mushrooms

like what veterans? No I said I can't think of one I mean I wouldn't particularly want to be around veterans but Grimes it's funny because she's maybe the most preferable of the group. Mr. Beast, I would absolutely, I would probably try to kill Mr. Beast.

I find Mr. Beast evil. Because he would, he would literally, like, I mean, he's already so uncanny as is with his, like, completely fake smile and like, just weird face, his dead eyes. And seeing that on mushrooms would be extremely triggering. Imagine how scary it is to look in the mirror as Brian Johnson

when you're on mushrooms. Also that. Like the funny thing is like once again he's just like laying in a bed with his girlfriend like sitting like kneeling beside the bed for like six hours

he's just laying in a bed smiling being like wow I'm noticing the walls are pattern there's a pattern in under the wallpaper I haven't noticed before. Look at the molding like it's so fucking like I mean we gotta get Theta Beck on to do a psychological

valuation of this. She texted, she texted me, and she was like, I fucking hate Brian Johnson so much. I was like Theta, I was like Theta girl. Me and Theta have also been texting about how much we hate Pluribus.

There are very few people I can like, I know, I stopped watching after the first. Well, maybe we should talk about pluribus, but there are very few people I know who will reliably have the same amount of just pure vitriolic spite and hate in their heart for any just general product or person. I can just text Theta and be like, have you seen Pluribus? And she was just like, I hate this.

It looks terrible. I just saw the preview. It's just like, okay. How does this make you want to watch a show? The most miserable person in the world is now the main subject of our content. That's this show. They're already listening to that damn show, y'all. Yeah, period.

You want a pessimist. But I was like, Theta, I can't even, I can't even like watch Brian Johnson's stream. I'm like his desperate stunts and, you know, his cloying need for attention. I'm out. I mean, this is just so... Even I am,

even I'm tapping out. His biggest hater can't manage to watch this stream. I mean, it really is reminiscent of, uh, uh, what's his name? See,

I can't even remember his fucking name. Uh, Christian, uh, Slater. No, the Starbucks Cup gay. Oh, Christian Walker.

Yeah, Christian Walker. Oh, I forgot about him. We haven't talked about him in years. But we loved Christian, but he... Oh, love. But now... Is he now a conservative?

I still have a soft spot of Christian. No, he's completely backed off of talking about politics entirely, and now just screams into his phone about how there aren't... He gives, like, dating advice to straight women, and he's just like, if your man isn't paying for dinner, like, he is not worth your time, honey. And I'm like, Christian, this is clearly what you always wanted to do. You always wanted to just be the, like, slightly conservative, non-political, you know, gay guy. Like a 90s gay guy guy who doesn't die of AIDS, because he doesn't have sex.

I completely, believe it or not, understand what he wants. I totally, totally understand what he was going for. You know, there was a moment where we all had to become extremely political, even though we just wanted to be, like, gay court jesters of sorts. And he's not political at all anymore. But with that, of course, he's no longer, you know, relevant. Would you all ever consider me political? No.

Okay. That's a quick discussion. Well, you have a lot of political beliefs, but I don't think they're fixed to any kind of coherent ideology. Yeah. Not in a bad way. That's most people are kind of an average. I'm like that.

My hat is politically charged. It says World War II veteran. Right. Right. I think we've discussed this before that you are trying to steal valor, but no one's going to believe you because you're not a hundred and one years old. I just think I could, if you really glance at me long enough. Also, okay.

A glance is by definition short. You don't know if you can glance at me long enough. I don't know if I saw it last night in Canada or the UK. are Britain, but there's this hyper-realistic mask. I think I want to say it was 370 pounds, so it must have been in Britain. And it was, it looks so real. I think I could really get into wearing an old, it's an ultra-realistic latex old man face mask. So that I can, I can look as old as I feel. Yeah. I think you should get one of those. I say spend, I say spend the $400 on it. Why not? Yeah. I mean, you can use your Kathy Hochel.

Oh, wait. Oh, sorry. Back it up. Back it up. I don't even know what a Kathy Gogol is. Right, exactly. Wait, no, has to,

have you tapped out of Pluribus? You're not watching it anymore. I stopped watching a little bit into the first episode. I was like, I don't know. I don't know if I'm going to be... I'll be honest. I just can't put up...

I can't put up with... The main character. The lesbian. Sorry. Yeah, that's what everyone says that. One of my friends said it's a... a good show with probably the worst protagonist ever on TV, the most annoying and unsufferable. The thing I hate about the show is that because the terms of it are not like well defined yet and everyone has, I mean, it's just like this extremely belabored discourse about like anti-hero versus like classical hero, whatever, like the terms of that are not set yet.

So right now as it stands, like any critique you could have of the show could be like, oh, that's actually part of the show. what we're waiting to figure out. We're waiting to figure out if we can bear to see this woman and if that's intentional. I hate that. It's one of these things where all the critiques,

all the valid critiques of it can then just be assumed by this concept that is just like so large that is then all of a sudden neutralize the critique it makes it part of the viewer experience. I'm like, I'm sorry,

I'm actually not going to subject myself to this much lesbianic shrieking to find out that oh, I'm supposed to hate her. Because I already do. Yeah, I mean, like, that's, my dad has been showing me a new show called The Beast, The Beast Within Me. That's like Claire Danes and Matthew Reese.

It's like, it's on Netflix. And that's another one of lesbianic hysterics that you would hate, Ben, because Claire Danes in it is a bereaved lesbian. She's like, she's like, every single time she talks to anyone, she's like, Well, I mean, what are you talking about? Yeah. Her and Jennifer Connolly are two of the greatest actresses from the late 80s or 90s. I don't think, I don't think Claire Danes is that good, honestly.

What the fuck? You never even seen my so-called life. Let me know that you haven't seen my so-called life. Let me know right now that you have seen my-so-long-life. I'm not watching a movie that you recommend for a while after the other show. Honest to God. Hey, hey, hey, hey, no. Oh, it's a TV show even worse.

a 1980s sitcom called my so-called life No, it's my so-called life is a coming to age 1990s, early 90s amazing coming of age story with Claire Dane's

Jared Leto Okay, I hate it all right It's hey Jared Letto But it's a young Jared Letto It's different I can't manage to look at his weird little doll face Yeah, when he became

sexually stunted that sounds great i'd love to see that well never mind everyone else who's seen this show knows it's good so i don't i mean i'm sure it's i'm sure it's fine i don't you're never gonna let me choose the movie again no i'm gonna let you choose the movie just not it's not gonna be a teenage drama sitcom tv show uh wait so has it you you tapped out into the first episode of pleuribus that's hilarious yeah i'll probably restart it just so i can maybe either like it i'm I'm going to be honest. I'm going to keep watching that crap. I know I just shit on it so much,

but I will keep watching it. What I've been doing lately since I got home is I'm re-watching Veep. Love Veep. It's so funny. It's so funny. It falls off towards the last few seasons, but it's still funny enough to...

It's still like such an amazing comedy. Yeah. What I didn't... I didn't know about Julia Louis-Dreyfus that I found out a couple of weeks ago is that she's like... She's been her family I think I can guess what you're about to say.

Jewish. Yeah. No, billionaires, billionaires. Oh, really? She's from a, like, dynastic, French Jewish billionaire family that, like, trades, like, cotton and seeds and stuff. Wow. There's, like, huge global industry.

Oh, my God. Has some, Richard Dreyfus, her dad. He was the guy in Jaws, right? Richard Dreyfus is not her dad, no No? No, her family, they're all like, they're not In the arts per se, they're all like Titans of Industry, it seems I thought she was always a Nepo baby of an actor's daughter, son No, which for the record, I don't even give a shit about

Because she is like an amazing actress I don't care, she's a billionaire She's so funny Yeah, she's like one of the best comedic actresses of all time Yeah, truly She made Seinfeld, Seinfeld wouldn't be perfect if she hadn't been there to give her period. She's the only one on the show I can tolerate

on Seinfeld. What, Kramer? You don't like George? Kramer's the most Well, Jerry's the most annoying one. Jerry is by far the most annoying. Ben, you don't think I have Kramer like tendencies and you're not annoyed with me? Work through that one.

Do you think I am like Kramer one? Of course. I don't think you're that much like Kramer. You're like if Kramer had emotional episodes often and they had to talk him down. The bursting into places. I was going to say just quickly speaking of Richard Dreyfus, he's, there was an article about how, excuse me, his family and him are on the outs.

Ben Dreyfus said he has no money, which by the way, fuck Ben Dreyfus as well, just another piece of shit of a different stripe. But I love to see, I love to see Ben Dreyfus yelling at his father being like, he has no money. and I haven't talked to him in a while because he got me-toed but yeah his whole family is disconnected from him I'll be honest with you

I don't even know who either of those people are I'm sorry Richard Dreyfus he's the Hooper and Jaws I never I've never seen Jaws Ben Hooper if that's his real first name I'm gonna be blown away Ben Hooper yeah I'm not gonna look it up but

you don't need to no I've never seen it sorry to give you nothing on that one so I'm not I don't know who either of those people people are. I'm sorry. Has Ben Dreyf is the director? No, he's just a fail son. Oh.

He just posts about Israel online. Oh, okay. All right. Lots of lots of that. That's the story we've heard before. He writes like articles and stuff and just like sucks. Okay, period. Jacques, did your stepmom say anything, your dad's girlfriend? Yeah, let me bring it up.

Let me bring it up. Let me bring it up. Okay. I told them they were out. asking at the Thanksgiving meal what was new and it was really directed from what do you say when someone asked you that question yeah I've known you so long that I've never had to ask you that question but when I put myself in the position nothing really is ever new right but also there could be so many things that are new for jock yeah it was it was really it was really like I was really it was really

simple I was like I've got some gigs coming up in Portland right right and Central D.J. And then I'm going to Cleveland. I started seeing a girl. You're going to Centralia? I'm going to Centralia, Washington, to DJ. Oh, I thought you met that town that's abandoned because there's a permanent fire underneath it in a natural gas plant. I fully thought he was just like talking about somewhere in Halo and I was like, okay, cool.

It's the real life American town that inspired Silent Hill where the, um, Cole, coal system underneath the town had an explosion and pits of fire burst through that are permanently lit from natural gas and the roads are banned and there's maybe zero residents left there anyway though okay so i'm bringing up that and i'm dj in there next week so everyone come on it look look i started bringing up that i started seeing someone new and and my dad's girlfriend immediately started contesting. Yeah, I met her. And I was like, no, you fucking didn't. I was just like. Okay. Not that, not that mean to think that she met. So she, she proceeds to name an ex. And I'm like, no, that's not who I'm talking about. This is another person. And she goes,

you know, Jacques, I wish she would just date someone with a more unique, wait, let me just, she's just genuinely what happens i mean there's i can't escape a holiday event with this bitch without her coming for me in some crazy way so she goes without her coming for me because i got those magic fingers baby well shut the fuck up you freaky weirdo okay so she's like why can't you just date a woman with a more unique old timey name she wasn't making a joke I was like, what? And she was like, why don't she date a Madge? Which honestly, like, I love that.

I could fully see you dating a woman named Madge. It's my lady, Madge. Absolutely. She runs the auto shop behind the house. She's a take care of the kids, too. She's a total trailblazer. I mean, half of... One firecracker.

Like, half of my trans friends are, like, very foreign women names that I make fun of them. Like Agnes, for instance. Right. Right. Right. Oh, jock and acanus would be insane. Oh, God. She listed a few names.

She was like, Ethel, you, like, Muriel. That is literally a famous transformation. I was just like, what do you want from me? I'm like, I just told you I'm doing well and I'm happy. And you're like, you just can. She's, it's called bullying. She's bullying. And so then, okay, so, oh, let me break down the family bullying because first, then my, uh, she's like,

I see that you're still doing that whole over-sulting thing. Eleanor, that's another one. Right. I like Eleanor a lot, though. Old-timey name, guy mentions, Eustace. Eustace. Miriam for a woman again. Okay, back to women.

Is Moishe considered just Jewish or old-timey as well? Moishe? Mois and Moisha. Yeah, that's an old-timey Jewish name, yeah. Do you want to keep going? Yeah, I mean, I think this is the best game we could ever play. What's the movie where, um, what's the movie where is it? I think there's something in my head of Harrison.

No, Harrison Ford going Miriam. Miriam. Oh, uh, what movie is? As I'm so sorry to give you nothing again, but I, you'd be the one to know. I know. Yeah, you should wake it up in your own brain. Maybe it's Sam, maybe it's Sam Neal. I don't know.

I'm going to try and Jack, keep naming names. Go ahead. No, Ben. Ben, Shish, Shuck, go ahead. Name names. Bartholomew, Jebediah. Um, God. Valentine.

We're getting into stripper names. Christmas. New Year. Baby New Year. You ain't seen the name baby New Year in a while. New Year's Eve, New Year. Chocolate. Chocolate. Okay, maybe.

These are just stripper names now. Sorry, sorry. Sorry, wait, let me get back on track here. And then fine, I'll end it up with one last name. One last name. Okay, one last name. Make it the best one. It has to be good, joke.

Hero. All right. What about Ebenezer? And everybody, remember the heroes. Ebenezer is better because you're just reading things that are around you. Because you can't think. why do you what is that that you have it's a book about 9-11 yeah it's about remembering the heroes it's a memorial

nationalistic 9-11 memorabilia more cash grab cash grab right after 9-11 like look how lazy this thing probably I know hey you ever look at the socialist rose on the top of that page oh my god that's really brutal yeah that's for the listeners at home jock just showed a picture of 9-11 to meet. Hey, that's not fair. Here, look, look.

If I'm going to show you anything else, just look at this Kathleen Turner Playboy. That's my type of woman old. Period. So your aunt was right about something. The way I need to have a dinner with her, and I would go to bat for you against her, and I think I could thank you her.

I buried the entire lead for the Thanksgiving story. Guess who I have a great story about. And Debbie? On Debbie. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, so I got in the family event. Wait, we have to do this.

We have to do this just for, for posterity. And just so that, uh, Jacques, this is a free episode. Are you sure you want to talk? Right. Absolutely. It's already trashed his entire family. I love, I love when he says, I don't give a fuck about it. So for centuries, my thanks.

For centuries, I've, I've used Thanksgiving holidays. For centuries, I've used the holiday family, Thanksgiving. dinner at my aunt's house as a sort of a high buffet. I mean, it's, it's, you're only expected to be there from like 12 to 1, 1.30. If you stay around, you're just wasting time and I love my family and I wasted time with them this time because I missed them and I hadn't seen them. But usually when I was younger, it's like, you're high, you get in, you get out. Don't make, don't make eye contact.

Don't say much. so this is the nightmare fucking thanksgiving because guess what i got there so late that there was only one spot left next to ooty which was devastating landlord cousin the landlord skateboarding cousin who i've met and he was kind of hot okay we're done with that we're done with that we're done with that but it's just does he have hair it was yeah no but anyway look let's let's let's move on so i rush and eat my shitty plate because frankly this how do you rush and eat something is it do you

it just put on a small plate and I ate it and I just didn't feel like it normally did like where I was high and I was having a great time I talked to my family whatever aunt Debbie please so then I go outside to go say hi to my uncle beep and then and Debbie is next beep goncelain one of the finest

fully beep console so Beep Gonsley She goes Jacques come here Come sit in my lap She's trying to kill her She's literally begging to die

She's literally begging to Be pulled her eyes Everyone that I told this story to And my family said that it would literally Kill her I sat down on her I mean for the record if anyone sat on Debbie She would turn into a pile of dogs

She's She's under 100 pounds she's had 12 strokes she's she's literally begging for for as a metaphor for a person imagine a set of bowling pins that have been knocked over millions of times and somehow they are still standing they still are at the bowling alley it's been a hundred years they're still using the same pins right and she is the same set of bowling pins so look so then i lean in and she does the classic a day move. I felt like I was young again because she kissed

me on the ear and it was wet. She gave you a wet, really? She gave you a wet Debbie? A wet Debbie. She gave me a wet Debbie. How much money? Would you have sex with

Aunt Debbie for any amount of money, Doc? If she know she wouldn't remember it. Well, they're not blood related. That sounds like, first of all, you're like, sorry, you're right. I'm sorry I'm sorry for being so crass

I could I would only I could only wish that by the time I'm 93 and actively dying that a group of much younger gay podcasters have made it a routine enough bit to mock me in my decrepit state

that people wait to hear updates about my life I want to say she's really nice to me though She's not a mean person Yeah You know my dad's girlfriend She's a fucking mean

We don't need to talk about that again Well I'm just saying If we're going to clarify Debbie's never never harmed me No No No I think Debbie has made my

Debbie has quite literally enriched my life I will never forget I love Debbie She's a gorgeous woman She's you know I was stopped in my tracks

When I saw her Oh my God I wish I could see a picture of Mount Debbie so It's fully like mummy on a dolly. One one other

note is that she has cried before at family events to be included in the group family photo that is only the

siblings. She does not understand. And she's like why can't I be in the picture? This letter in the picture.

Who gives a fuck? Well, they have to because she starts crying but this year she's crying in every family photo. We do it

every thing. It happens every year and they still make her cry. The husband and the why? that are not that are not like it like you know that are just take two pictures yeah stand outside of the uh you know the picture whatever it's fine and and and you know she's out there crying but this year she looked at me and she said i don't even want to be in that damn picture oh my god growth

period i was like i was like wow i was like she's got a thought i wish i mean i she is a thought i only hope that when I'm that age, I am as perilously thin as on Debbie. More Anna, more pro-A-talk. I'm just kidding. Ben, I bet when... When you're older, Ben, I feel like you're on a beautiful trajectory right now

where you're going to be... Lesbian. No, like old, boring, and, like, wise, kind of, you know? You're going to be like... Oh, I'm going to be such a grump priority. Yeah. Or I'll be very fun.

It'll be one or the other, but it depends how life... It depends how much goes for me. can we have someone Photoshop all of our faces age to be older and then talk about living older separately another episode or pretend to be old? What is it with you this obsession with you and being old? What is that? Well, because I saw that man put on that latex face mask.

Did it turn you on? I'm older than y'all and honestly, I'm so close towards the average life span. The average lifespan more closer to the Reaper. especially in Louisiana is probably 67. The reaper's all got us in his grip. And just because I'm here, you know? I think Louisiana has the lowest life expectancy in the nation, actually.

Look, I'm going to tell you all something. My life expectancy is a little bit different. But it could go either way because I've always got that thing on me. I'm ready to go at any second. For the people at home, Jacques is holding a kitchen. knife. I keep one next to me. Well, this is, you know what I call this one? This is my podcasting knife. I have kept this. I've kept this from the kitchen for weeks. No, it's really dull, actually. That's why it makes it safe for podcasting. Oh, cool. Um, look, when Alex made, um, when Alex made the mac and

cheese, Jack, did you yell at him for making a blonde room instead of a dark room? No, what am I? What am I? Josh would never yell at Alex. Alex has jock in fucking check. I'm really jealous of Alex. Alex is my manager. His ability to keep him in check. Oh, my God. I will say, so Hessa, I'll be like, I don't like that person.

And Alex will turn around and be like, hey, man, that's not cool because that person is pretty nice. And they're not, you know. This is the example. This happens all the time. No, truly, Alex is the only person who can, like, strike rationality into jock. It's, it's quite remarkable. It's really. He's family.

He knows how to talk to me. He has a deep respect for me. Not that y'all don't, but if y'all could talk to him on a private level without me and maybe learn some tips and tricks, you two could manipulate me better. I know Alex very well. I guess more particularly Hesse. I would talk to Alex, tips and tricks. Alex is iconic.

I love Alex. You should take advantage and manipulate me. All right. You should take advantage of me, not in like a preferred way. Speaking of attempts to take advantage of and make. manipulate another person. There was a recent video that resurfaced of one miss Laura Loomer

at a I'm scared. At some right wing event I believe this is in 2016. Has it, you know who Mike Mahome is? Oh, I'm thinking of the quarterback. I didn't know who was. Was he on the South Park parody? No, I would have guessed that it was a athlete as well because it's a very

like football guy name. But I think he's some kind of like far right like flunky nazi figure anyways laura um entrapped him much like the jigsaw would in a torture not device but scenario which i would call um being hit on by laura lumer and the video resurfaced i just want to play it goes on for we have to watch the whole we have to it is so

fucking it's only two minutes it's only two minutes And you, it's a minute in 51 seconds, and it's so bad that you thought it was four minutes long. It is extremely rough to watch. Look at the bottom from Milo. Oh, yeah. You know Milo's getting in on this one. Oh, yeah. Let's, I'm just going to play it here.

Your hair and your eyes look so good. You're like beautiful. Thank you. Like an Aryan degenerate goddess. Thank you. I love it. Thank you. You're Aryan, too.

I know, but I'm Jewish. Okay. All right. Just from, I just, I just, I just, I just, want to get up a player's analysis of what you two see happening here. Laura is she's got her armor on his neck.

She's one inch from his face. She's clearly trying to make moves. What do we think about her opening line? Calling him a goddess? I think it's interesting. I think it's interesting. I think she might I first have a

she might be drunk. Oh, she's absolutely. I know, I'm just kidding. She's smashed. Actually, this is This looks so, like, the way this is filmed and framed and how loud and clear their voices are makes me feel like she might be doing all this embarrassment stuff on purpose. Oh, this is some part of humiliation ritual. Yeah, yeah.

I don't get it at all. I honestly, I think that she might love, like, love this. Wait, but you really think it's humiliating? Well, it could be, but she loves being publicly humiliated. That's like one of the most, one of her most defining. characteristics outside of being an evil, decrepit bitch. But she, like, what's so funny to be is that, like, yeah, sometimes I'm not trying to brag here because I really don't get hit on, and I'm a little too cagey to, like, genuinely hit on anyone

else. But the way that he gave her the kind of throwaway compliment, like, oh, yeah, you're Aryan, too, even though we all know she's extremely Jewish. It's like, it's like when someone's like, oh, my God, you're so. hot and the person is not hot. And you feel like, oh, yeah, you just, you look so thin. You're also, yeah, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're area as well.

Like, so fucking pathetic for her. Let's keep going. I went to thin again. Maybe I have, maybe I have issues. Never mind. Sorry, what you say? I said I went right to thin again. Maybe I do. Maybe I just, yeah. All right.

Oh, that's my hair. God damn. Fix it. Fix my hair. Did you fix it? Did you fix it? I did. I like that picture you posted on Instagram recently when you got like reinstated on Facebook was so hot.

Like, seriously. Wait, wait. Sorry. When, to be like, oh, my God. I'm so impressed with the picture you uploaded on your profile picture after you were reinstated to Facebook. She does have a kind of Irish accent or something. She does have a very strange accent in this.

I think it's just drunk. Yeah. I want to drink again. For the people at home, she touched his hair. No, I, I, 1,000% am convinced that this is. Because the camera is maybe, what, two feet away? And they are perfectly framed, like, you know, cheated out, like, centered in the camera. They're in a loud bar, but they're completely hearable.

It's like, do you think it's something that's interesting about that? This video was, I believe it was filmed in 2016, judging off. of how Laura's face is transformed you could probably date this to 2016 because she looks relatively normal she looks relatively normal there's no like crazy chin from the profile no like which is chin coming off of her but yeah what yeah I mean maybe this could have been compromise against her and they lured her into doing this while she was drunk under some kind of be like oh let go hit on him and of course knowing that this guy is going to completely reject her and now it's being released because

yeah i'm sure i'm i'm sure that like maybe i mean if she didn't have a hand in it i i my assumption instantly is that like she organized this somehow for like but i i do think it is possible that she went around to the bar and was like um talking about how hot this guy was and then you know milo or whoever filmed this was like mylo i can absolutely i can absolutely this is this is a sinister homosexual move yeah sure because the whole conversation is on is recorded the entire thing like right yeah when she walks up and says you're so hot you're like right um yeah but keep going keep going it's okay it's so rough you're standing and the nazis hate me it's fun all right people want to put me in a gas chamber because they're obsessed with the

I don't, I think they're just meaming on you, but it's okay. It's okay, I don't care. I love it. It'd be like that sometimes. I know. They're just jealous because I had thick tits and Ashkenazi IQ. Okay. All right.

For everyone at home, her hand is on his shoulder and he does not be comfortable with it. No. I'm not comfortable with the brag. Big titty and what is Oshkanaji Jew brain or what did she say? Ashkenazi IQ. She said some kind. Yeah. What?

I don't even, are they, is there a famous IQ associated? Yeah, it's actually like in, in, I mean, I think this is 2016. They're kind of talking like it was, like it's not 2016. I don't really know. But, um, yes, in like these racist eugenicist circles, um, it is widely believed that Ashkenazis hold the highest IQ in the world. Yeah. Yeah, that sounds like some super racist, super.

I mean, it is. Yeah. I mean, just like, just, it's Nazi. Well, duh, but I mean, I'm just saying I, this woman is so dumb. How is, yeah, I kind of understand that it's kind of insane to see this whole clip. Yeah, keep going. But maybe it was candid camera. Yes, that's what it is.

You got it. Anyway, next time you're New York, let me know, we'll hang out. Bring your girlfriend in New York sometimes. We'll all hang out. We'll go to, like, really cool restaurants and hang out. Yeah, I will bring my girlfriend. Yeah. I want to meet, what, Becca?

Yeah. Becca, she's so sweet. You remember. Yeah, of course. You'll meet her. You guys are so sweet. I hope that works out because like, like I said, I know it's all in that.

Like, I know everything you do on Twitter is like so fake and not real. Yeah, it's all fake. It's so sweet that you, like, in your girlfriend, I'm going to get every three years. I can't listen to her voice. I'm sorry. I don't understand if she's hitting on him or making fun of him in the last. She's in. I'm confused.

She's hitting. She's absolutely hitting on him. Well, no, but she says. why he's like completely unable to make eye contact well i'm assuming on his twitter he's saying a lot of like anti-jewish things she's like i know i know but like please let me and you know i know you're just joking about how we all you know but if i could please just have one chance to look at your penis i would really really appreciate it if i could please just have one glance at your penis he's like refusing to make eye contact with her

and turning his head every three seconds. It's really pathetic for her. And speaking of Laura Lumer, there's this article about her in The New Yorkers that I... It's kind of relevant to this video. If a video like this came out about me, I would...

Kill myself. I would... Or I would turn to a life of crime, and I'd start locking people in the basements of abandoned buildings and torture devices, making them see how much they want to live. Yeah, yeah.

I don't think there's a video like this of me, but I'm, I mean... How would you... How would you correct her form, Jock? How would I correct her form? Yeah, how would you approach this guy? A really long ruler, and I would like... Sorry, I'll rephrase.

How would you teach her to be... Yeah, to hit on this guy in a better fashion? Well, first of all, to give her a cup of coffee and then... Right. I don't like mint. I would give her a mint. Don't be drunk, and yes, it did look like she could have... had extremely smelly breath um so honestly she was she had big tits and she wasn't really using

them she wasn't really like they could have been out more but yeah she wasn't like she mentioned them but she didn't really her body movement wasn't accentuating them so clearly she doesn't know how to be a woman right yeah i mean she just doesn't seem like she she knows the basics about being a woman it seems like everyone else has a has a higher grasp being a woman and she doesn't really have a superior a really confident grasp on being a woman or being, she doesn't seem to be secure. She doesn't seem to be

confident. I mean, in the way that she's and also that guy could not be more uncomfortable. I mean, really, I just think. And I think we could arrange it. You know what I mean? And we bring jigsail into the mix. I don't understand.

I would never, if I was ever trying to fuck someone, I would never break up their Twitter. That's just horrifying. I completely agree with you. Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. I think you should never reference anything from anyone's online presence, hasn't it? You know, when people, if anyone never walks up and says, like, I love that post that you did. That's the only, the only thing worse is mentioning your online presence to them. That's like the only thing worse than bringing up their own. Yeah. Do you follow my Twitter? That's what I say. Yeah. Oh, my God. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I would never, a guy says Twitter

to me and I literally like a flip in my, switching my brain flips and I'm just like, okay, you are a eunuch. You're a eunuch and I'm no longer viable. Yeah. But yeah, no, she did an absolutely horrible job here. Yeah. She didn't slay. I'll say that much. She did not slay. I just want to

read a little bit of this article in the New Yorker about Laura Lumer. Yes, ma'am. Laura Lumer has long believed that she has some sort of modern-day Oracle. We haven't read this before, have we? No, I don't think so. Has long believed that she is some sort of modern-day Oracle. For years, she would scream in public places, trying to get people to listen to what she knew. Usually,

they would send in security to remove her. One afternoon in 2018, she was crying in a bathroom at the U.S. Capitol after being hustled out of a hearing room where she had interrupted a meeting of the House Energy and Commerce Committee to warn its members about a conspiracy to steal the 2020 election from Donald Trump. Her dress had ripped in the scuffle and her underwear was showing. Like Cassandra, the Trojan priestess of Apollo in Greek mythology,

who was cursed to utter true prophecies, I have been given the gift of prophecy, she later wrote. But I am a prophet of doom whose warnings of disaster are condemned and ignored. So not only would a better analogy for who Laura Lumer is be

a woman at a bus stop, but she literally sounds like one in this quote, it's like so crazy. I mean, of course, she's like a completely repellent person. I hate Laura Lumer, but you do, I at least, I really admire her

insanity. Her, well, her what seems like a... Tenacity. What seems like a lifelong competition to be the most kicked out woman. Yes. Of all time.

The most, you know, most, she's really up to the game because for a while it was you know let me speak to the manager this is like the manager is a lizard person and if you bring him out to me i'm going to scream at him until i get lifted up by security by my shoulders and taken out of the room it's just like there's something so like perfectly contemporary about her because i don't even know she believes all of this but i know she knows it gets her attention and she will take any form of attention she can get it's just this endless, endless need to be talked about in any capacity.

I relate to her than that. Right, right. Pearl kind of vibes. Pearl. If y'all would like, we could do some news. I brought some news articles with me. Let me just read one more. Oh, sorry. I got, I'm sorry, Hesse.

Yeah, we don't have to read this whole thing, but. No, read the whole thing. I didn't mean, I'm sorry. I thought. It's really long. I don't understand time and space. In 2020, she ran for Congress in the Florida district that included Marilago, but she couldn't make a candidate Facebook account or use PayPal to raise money. Her Democratic opponent refused to say her name. Instead referring to her as a woman with the darkest heart she had ever known.

Lumer lost the election by 20 points. She descended even further into what she called her Ubliette. Increasingly, she had the sense that she was taking part in an ongoing conversation with Trump, almost like a shared inner monologue. I don't want to say, oh, President Trump is me or, oh, I see myself in Trump, but I do. I mean, I do, she told me recently. Every time I listen to him speak, I feel like I'm listening to myself, speak to myself. Does that make sense?

Wow. Always gets a friend. It's literally single white female. She's single white female. She's so troubled. Yes. Yes. Yes.

She really is. And to like very little of it. I mean, she's not really. really winning. I guess she's, you know, back on Twitter. She's, maybe she has, maybe she's like, she is cozying up to drum. So I guess she's kind of getting some return back on this, you know, yeah, 10 year investment. But good God, you have to wonder, why does she just give up? And I don't think she ever will at this point. Yeah, yeah. I mean, this, this, there is a lot in this article. We can, like, resume it on another date, because it is very funny and interesting.

I mean, let's just end on one thing. We're at, we're at an hour, so. I mean, there's a lot, though. There's a lot. Yeah, Jacques, do you want to give us a little news roundup? Well, first of all, my mom paid me to not take a bus to my storage unit in New Orleans to close it because she was too scared that I was going to get taken by ice in the swamp sweep because she thought I would be mistaken as a Latino person, which is. I just You have some Mexican vibes to you perhaps

But not at the moment I've seen you I've seen you pull some fits That make you look extremely Mexican I just was She wanted me to go with someone Because she was genuinely worried If I went alone on the bus

That I would be mistaken And I was like mom It doesn't It doesn't work like that Yeah I mean it doesn't work like that I was like mom it doesn't work like that Not that they're like particularly respectful Of any laws like that

But it's it's I wouldn't call it a reasonable concern, but you're her precious little baby, so I get it. If you were, if you were ICE, where would you send Jock then? If you rounded him up and had to deport him somewhere? If I could deport Jock Onsoulin, where would I send him? Interesting. Maybe like Quebec. Well, right, it's either going to be one of the two ancestral homelands that the Cajuns were exiled from.

So it'd be, it'd be Versailles or, yeah, Maine or Montreal somewhere with that. in those regions. But I would never deport Jock Gonson to DeMoyne, Iowa, so I can hang out with him every day. Yeah. Oh, I want to, am I allowed to come to Des Moines ever? Girl, you always, you love saying this on the podcast, like, are you allowed? I've invited you countless times and you've never come. I just don't think I have been invited Hessa, but you've been. And you've never, why do you address it to me? And then Hesse, why have you never invited me to Buffalo? You can come to Buffalo whenever you want, baby. There aren't like two particularly fun places to be. I think it's more like

I would come to Louisiana because I, you know. I'm also, my parents' house is like 20 miles outside of Buffalo proper. I mean, that's fine, but I have to take the train all the way from Louisiana to Buffalo because I have to do it you style.

Or is that, or can I take the plane to you? You can take a plane to Buffalo Niagara International Airport. Oh, there's an international buffalo. Yeah. Buffalo. Okay, well, look, I realize that this next article that I selected is one of those ads. Eating two

handfuls of a common snack daily improves memory. Wait, Jock, we're getting an old-timey voice, old-timey radio voice, please. Eating two handfuls of a common snack daily improves memory. Beautiful. Is that old-time snack? And you try to find out, you try to find out what the snack

was by clicking on a link and your computer exploded. Now your computer's mining crypto for a Chinese hacker. I like Hilaria Baldwin 41 works out in her underwear and then I wrote what a bitch Period did you what do you mean you wrote that oh these are your you're in the conversation with us Okay okay okay yeah this so how do we talk about something like that I mean this is my this is my official response she sure does let me just get to the next article

Really quickly. Jennifer Aniston fails to hold door open for Bo Jim Curtis. He had a cane and she, and he was struggling with the door, and she wouldn't even help him. Who was reported on this? Where did you? Daily mail. Daily mail. What could that article is definitely AI written.

They wrote that headline. Who the fuck is Bo Curtis? Amy Schumer looks thin as she poses in tiny black. swimsuit. I was shocked to see that she looked anything that people could ever go. That's not even the Amy Schumer one you sent to the chat.

Amy Schumer 44 reveals why she is shockingly wrinkle-free. Yeah, that one. That's just clearly an ad. It was something else online. I feel like I was rage-vaded. Okay. Plain passengers insufferable mid-flight acts sparts

Fliars outrage. Wait, let me do that in a more old-timey... Can you introduce us to the radio? Is that what it's it? Does it say flyers? Oh, yes. Can you introduce the radio program in the segment and then give us the headlines in an old-tallie voice? Hi, welcome all to the old-timey round-up.

It's Monday not, and we've got stories from you from the front line. We're getting Native Americans from every single. The old-time you're out. We're getting a story again from the plain people, plain pass of us. Sufferable and obnoxious mid-flight act Sparts fierce outrage. Oh my golly gee! Let's see what's going on in the world there.

Azenkentenian, who splits his time between Ismar and Turkey and Quebec City and Canada, was recently on a plane when he realized he wanted some coffee. But rather than asking for a cup of Joe from the fly to sit, he decided to make himself from his seat,

grinding the beans and all. He shared a video of himself, This is just reporting on the viral TikToks. Viral TikTok and the fake plane set. Yes. Yes. I saw this TikTok. Good God. You can't do that. That's not fair.

Good God. That is so funny. You get all your news from the Daily Mail, which there's not even one article that is not there because the person that's the subject of it, paid for it to be there. It's click. It's click. It's clickbait covering engagement farming is what it is. I haven't been able to find good news in a while,

so let me get back to the old time even if we should finish. Okay, okay, okay. In other news across the world, Ireland Baldwin slams Kim Kardashian for posing with elephant bag. Whoops a daisy, Kim Kardashian. People might say, no, no, next to your elephant skin, Birkin. That's very offensive, lady.

Why don't you take your business somewhere else abroad out of Hollywood? If you, can you come up with an old-timey slur for Kim Kardashian? Yeah. We call her a froggy bitch. That's pretty good. You can do better than that. We call her a fake, what is, what's her race? Armenian.

Don't tell him, don't, fuck, fuck, I'm sorry. She's Tajiki. We say she's a fake Armenian. We say she's a gas station. What? I don't know. That was, I kind of. We say she's gas station.

Let me harness the last of my powers. Not even, not even. Let me order it down. Okay, go ahead, go ahead. American Eagle details of Arthur Stewart at the new face of the brand. Oh, wow. We'll get rid of Sidney and head up for Martha Stewart. What a vibe, I say?

Okay, come up with an old-timey slur from Arthur Stewart. And Sydney, Sweeney. And Sydney, Sweeney. We call her a sugar pussy On old one and a new one Sidney The old sugar pussy Makes a lot of money for Hollywood

They do a sugar pussy Manorne Monroe She was a sugar pussy as well I love that laugh Pababumum Bambha Friend surprise for bride At Bachelor Ed Party

Sparks outrage Ooh la la let's see what's going on here Monica San Luis 28 party in Paris France. Her friend's got all of her. Shut up! Her friends got all of her ex-boyfriends to share messages for her.

A group of friends thought it would be funny to surprise a bride to be by getting all of her ex-boyfriends to share a message for her ahead of the wedding. But the move has come under fierce fire online. Okay. Why? All right. Not going to tell us? Amazing.

Oh, Lord, all these ex-boyfriends sending you a message right before your wedding Sounds like a drama out of a rom-com Or some kind of sitcom Some rom-throm Some rom-dram gone wrong Tonight Whoa, that's really good

That was really That is good Two synapses connected there Here's a news from the science world More marijuana use is being hospitalized For scromitting Doctors warn I was going to bring

this up today, but usually when we talk about this on the show, you have a complete freak out. Yeah, you have a meltdown. You scrimmed a little bit. Thank God. Okay. Well, yeah, you start The people are scrobbing. Across Hollywood, it's a big trend. Scrobbing is the new trend that's sweeping the nation. It's the coolest

thing you could do, Daddy-Oh, in this old world. An STD, I didn't know, had blinded me. Doctors blamed my love life. Oh, no. He's just reading his text now. A sexually transmitted disease I did know had blinded me

Doctors blamed my promiscumous love life A sexual transmission blinded me A 52 year old man Was nearly blinded by a syphilis affection That attacked both of his eyes A stark warning that the sexually transmitted disease Can cause catastrophic vision loss Wowsers! People still got syphilis

in this day and age. A thing of the past comes down the future. Welcome, syphilis. Welcome syphilis. All right, Jack. Okay, last one. And then the final news of the evening for this news. The most important story, of course.

You say the most important for last. Headline story. And of course, this fraud interrupts me because she does not understand the hierarchy of newscasters and bitches. Okay. Exclusive restaurants introduced, O-Zimpic. menus with many meals as weight loss drugs slash appetites. A growing number of restaurants are catering to customers on Ozimic by offering

pint signs portions. Daily Mail recently dined at Clinton Hall. Pint signs. And hit down men hadn't to try its teeny weeny, meenie meal. Designed for those on the GLP-1 medications, which decrease appetite. Money, there's nothing you could have to do to grasp my appetite or you can have to grasp mine. We get him in DeGras. DeGrasse.

DeGrasse. DeGrasse. DeGrasse. Yeah. I love this character. I love this character. Jock, can you come up with a slur for people who are on OZempic? Old time you slur for people on Ozo Popos.

Period. That's like Osabuco. Yeah. It's close. an osobuco than what you actually called it really is oh it's got a case of the old ozo booboos what's this character's name before we go i i really want to know the name of this is he british is he no that was another character that got mixed in the next way let me just center myself so i can exit as the character yeah yeah yeah yeah extra extra read all about it an old-timey faggot and a

guy named hesson wait to fuck You got too deep in the character there. You got too deep in the character. Back it up. Back it up. Back it up. Second take. Second take.

Start getting it. It was such a mistake. He didn't even set it up with anything else. He just said guy. You name you as a goddamn. Extra, extra, read all about it. Some annoying bra who thinks of herself as a slender man with blonde hair and glasses. Oh, he's a slender man.

Okay. Third take. Take three. Okay. Oh, my God. Okay, yeah. Hold on, hold on. All right.

Extra, extra, read all about it. The most womany woman bitch. The most feminine woman of all time has decided to be named Hesla. And while she's still the most womanly woman of all time, she is in fact quite a bitch. And we think of her as one of those old-timey bitches. I like how it became, it had to become complimentary to me. Well, and also, like, calling you with, like, a dirty bitch as well. Okay, Josh.

Remember, the prompt was just give your character a name, and then you kind of just started talking about Esau. Okay, wait, hold on. I got the name coming here. All right. Name incoming, everyone. Hello, this is Eugene O'Hanahan, and I'm here reporting now with the news. Nice.

I love that. Eugene O'Hanahan. Is that it? Eugen O'Hanahan. Perfect. I'll write that down so you don't forget it. Name Eugene O'Hanhanhan. Signing on.

Let's just let him pick a new name. Yeah, a new name every single time. Saying goodbye. And this is seeking directions featuring Bidmore, Hesedney. Who is it woman? And, and Eugene Genesis O'Hanahan. I love that middle name. That's a beautiful.

That's a great name. The name is Eugene. Bile Belruths. Ohanahan. But full names Eugene Genesis, O'Hanahan. I fought in the first war. in the Great War, we called it back then. The first war ever.

It was the first war. I was actually the World War I was a one veteran, but I actually gave me a War II hat. I was too embarrassed to ask for a second one. So that's how the story goes. So they knew World War II was coming. Eugene O'Hara-Han says, good night. It's already changing. To all you broad kitty cats and little faggots.

All right. It's getting a little rockabilly, but I'm obsessed. Love the character. Guys, we'll talk to you next week. Go subscribe to our Patreon. It's shock. Bye. Everyone used my book. Or actually later this week, sorry. We'll talk to you later this week. For a comedy event. I want to be on a live show. And it's about time that y'all woke that up. If anyone wants to book Eugene O'Hara, Hanahan, Genesis the 3rd, go. Oh, my local audio didn't record. You're going to hate me.

Well, that's amazing. That's so amazing. Love that. All right, guys. Book Jock. Yay, very fun at gmail.com, and we'll be back later this week. Goodbye. Bye. You know, I'm trying to I'm going to

I'm going to I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm and I'm going

I'm So, you know, the other than I'm having I'm I'm I'm I'm

I'm I'm going to be able to be. I'm going to be. I'm going to be able to be. I'm going to be. So, I'm going to be able to be. I'm going to be. So, you know,

I'm going to be able to be. I'm going to be. So, I'm going to be. And so on the I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to You know what I'm going to be able to be.

You know, I'm going to be. You know, I'm going to be. You know, I'm going to be able to Thank you. I mean,