Seeking Derangements - SD 463 - Sugar, Spice and Everything Nice

Episode Date: January 7, 2026

Hello Seekers! Ben here, today Hesse, Jacques and I open up the show with a discussion on Venezuela. Then we get into some new eating techniques Jacques is developing and end the show by forgetting about how Sylvia Plath died.

I've talked about my mytani and I I'm I'm I'm from chafety my

my I'm I'm caught in Rofk myamany the The

Mestabah I don't even though, but I have a colds, I have a cold sore too, because I just restarted. a cold sore. It's my lip is shedding because I just restarted Tret and my like. What, what is that? It's a hormone replacement therapy drug. It's like a gay guy, gender, gender on replacement surgery. Right, right. No, Tret, no one. It's a, it's a, it's a, it's a retinoid. But yeah, it's like a really, um, it's a, uh, you muted yourself. Um, It is a, you are muted. And welcome to work diva.

And welcome to work, muted, diva. Hessa, I'm happy that you were able to find. Yeah, fuck Hesda, she was muted. I was actually waiting right here. I was actually waiting right here until she got it. Back it up. Back it up. Don't come in hot and start attacking Hessa because you were late.

Okay. First of all, me and Hessa, I would never attack Hessa. and me and has to spend seven hours on the phone yesterday. We were on the phone for seven hours yesterday, yeah. That's true. We were watching YouTube videos. We were watching YouTube poops. We were chilling.

We were... We talked life. We talked love. We talked fate. We talked destiny. Well, yes. Well, welcome to Seeking Durantins, everyone. This is a free episode.

So if you'd like to hear more of the podcast, go to patreon.com slash seeking durations for bonus episodes. We do them every week. and you can subscribe for the whole year or gift a year-long subscription to one of your brain-dead family members who wants their condition to get a little bit worse Jock and Hessa

Happy New Year, Welcome Divas, how's it going to? And happy Jew year to you too. Did you say Happy Jew year? What the hell? No, I said Happy New Year. You said happy to do-to-to-to-do. I heard happy Jew year, but Happy Jew year to you as well, Happy due year. It's the year of the Jew.

That is the animal. Wait, actually, what is the Chinese calendar? It's the year of the horse. There's a lot of forward momentum coming for all of our lives. And there's a lot of steadfast. A lot of sexy legs. Are you sure that? I think it's the year of the horse. I could be wrong.

I think it's the year of the ant eater. I don't know if that's one of them. I don't think of it. Are you sure? We might be using a different Yodiac system. Literally, I would be able to tell you for sure. if my landlord's yearly New Year's gift to me was on time

this year. It's a little bit late. They do Lunar New Year, Diva. Not New Year, New Year. No, they do, do. The last, like, the last... Oh, they do do, Diva. They do do. Wait.

You had sex with your landlord? No. He has seen me fully nude, though. I only ask, because if your landlord gets you a gift every New Year's, does that mean you had a relationship? No, he just gets everyone in the building. He's actually like, honestly, like, it's all landlords except my landlord. He's like a wonderful little Chinese man who I actually really like.

My Chinese landlord always gave me the red envelope thing on the Lunar New Year. Maybe I'm completely wrong about that, but maybe he was just a freak. He was half Chinese, half Italian. Okay, yeah. So, Stuart Lu Grasiano. He was American. He was an American man. He was literally, yeah.

He was a young, American. Girl, he was Chinese. I heard him. I heard I'm speaking a lot of Chinese. Do you think he was a disguise? No, his whole family lived in my building. They were iconic. Anyways, it's the year, I think it's the year of the horse.

Husset, did you find it? I think it's the year of the horse. What year it is? Oh, I just believed you. I didn't even bother looking at it. I do believe it is, Ben, I think you're right. Thank you. Because I also, I rewatched the episode where we did the sexual Olympics.

I spent so much time Googling things. It is the year of the horse. in 2026 the horse dog tiger and goat are predicted to be among the luckiest chinese zodiac signs benefiting from the energetic year of the fire horse with horses seeing breakthroughs dogs are awarded for their loyalty tigers finding transformation through patients and goats experiencing new connections and steady growth i believe i'm a rat what about humans okay wait no rat is 96 pig is me 95 wait no i'm not pig what am i I'm... I think there's one pig in the call. Dragon? I think you're...

Wait a second. Hang on. Hold on a second. Did you just call me a pig? I'm a dog. Oh, I'm a dog. I got that fucking dog in me, bitch. N-194.

I'm a fucking dog. Yo, the way I'm oxed out, the way I'm, like, fully oxed out. I am like, and also I was on the non-binary term for an unc. Yeah, literally. Not to go to a non-binary. I'm sorry.

Okay. Okay. Back it up. Beurriot. Beuried. back it up um anyways it might be the year of the horse and that might bestow good fortune among them this no i did know what you i know what you meant though because like it's halfway between unc and woman is non-binary i guess yeah no not i guess i guess the female unc is

auntie colloquium speaking hopper i think between unc and aunt there because i think aunt I think ants also and I think Hopper the villain from the movie A Bug's Life actually Woody Allen is one of the main ants in the movie ants so okay stop me right now I'm literally I'm just

I'm just listening I'm trying to put it together I was going to say that you know while good fortunes may be bestowed for the horses in our lives it does feel pretty it's like a pretty drastic search the new year i you know the venusuela stuff is extremely depressing and angering i've been waiting to say this because when i was up at the late hours of the night and the news article broke and it was 16 minutes after it broke and i read the sentence the u.s has kidnapped the president

now it goes on to say the president of venezuela but i mean that's in you thought you thought they kidnapped don't trump no no no no no no no I just like, I've never in my life heard the words the president has been kidnapped. I don't even think, I really doubt that most mainstream media was saying kidnapped. They're like famously aren't saying kidnapped. They were saying successfully extracted or something. Yeah, it's like crazy shit like that. He's a criminal now facing charges.

It's insane. But yeah, Maduro was dragged out of Venezuela and is now in New York City. He just got hit with a bunch of charges. He pled not guilty to them. um and it's bullshit do you think it's like he really actually was involved in the drug track but it's also not our business to do anything about it it doesn't fucking matter none of this is about maduro yeah i mean i don't i don't like support maduro per se i think the problem of venezuela has been sanctions in the u.s meddling i think maduro has he's done stuff that

is like demonstrably not good at the end of the day everyone is trying to make this into an argument about the actions of medoro which is completely yeah it's sidelined you know yeah the issue here is that the u.s is going in and literally extracting a leader charging him with trump's government came up with these crimes and then just said now we have the fucking now we have the right to go in and steal this man no he was like literally it was just because he wanted to sit in the like the war room or whatever and watch on the tv like an operation being done and he like did you see like the um the like press release for what was used in the operation

because it is so fucking funny it's like they used five planes and they used like 91 like literally like 91 jets and like five helicopters like it's they created a sonic boom effect with the jets so the helicopters could land unnoticed because it cancels out the noise

but yeah I mean the real motive for this is of course oil like every other foreign war America's gotten itself wrapped into. Yeah. There's just no confusing that. It's funny because Trump has been saying that since 23. They're open and honest about this. Exxon has said they want their oil back, the oil

that exists in Venezuela's soil. He said like it's our oil. We want our oil back. It was nationalized in 2008, I believe, by Chavez. Exxon went in in 98. It was kicked out in 2008. I believe those days are correct regardless of no one's really coming

here for hard-hitting facts. about oil companies. But, I mean, it's extremely clear what it is. It's troubling. I mean, Trump has also said that he wants to go into Cuba. He's threatened Petro and Colombia and has threatened Shine bomb in Mexico. So, I mean, international law is a complete, it's always been a fake thing. It's used as a cudgel by the U.S. and other Western nations.

Of course. At least, it was somewhat of a deterrent. Not that I advocate for it. Of course, it could be better structures. I think it was somewhat of a deterrent. when it comes to completely illegal and monstrous invasions, like the one we just saw in Venezuela. But especially post-Palestine, I mean, that is really what dissolved the lingering mist of international law being enforceable or in any way real.

And this is part of the plan. The point in some grand scheme of this is the genocide in Palestine has been to get rid of that. Lots of money to be made. And I think for the U.S. And I think what's happening here, what's going to happen is with Trump calling for the heads of states all across Latin America right now, the game is clear. They just want to go in, destabilize all of these nations, bring it back to the CIA interventions that are happening all across Central America from the 50s to the 80s. Yeah. And turn everything, turn Latin America into a land that's owned entirely by the U.S. for free and open resource extraction.

And meanwhile, make more money on the flip side. because now you have things like Seacot, you know. They'll just install Buckelis all over Latin America, make Seacots, and throw anyone in there. They'll call anyone a terrorist who doesn't lie down and accept this shit. They'll call them all terrorists and throw them in there and make more money on the flip side off of these prisons that they built. South America coin.

Like literally, I also like the thing about international law and pretty much like literally every single international law is like for like even like during the end of history years of the 90s like the first real thing where it's like international law it just literally is it doesn't exist it's unenforceable it's a mutually sustained delusion that it's yeah exactly function for some amount of time that kept enough nations in check again I don't think it's a functional system it used to be like literally sustainable because everyone had this collective delusion and now like it's literally like it's very reminiscent of like when the berlin wall fell and like you know the soviet union kind of fell and everyone you know realized like

oh this like it's not actually communism it's not socialism what we're doing it's literally just like these like oligarchs kind of taking all this money but like we all know it that that's what it is but like it's like what we can't fucking do shit so like what's the problem like what can we do um well it aren't like the serbrinica massacre is really what i'm thinking of like when literally nado was like okay you're all refugees let's bring you into this one area and you'll be safe here and literally like uh i think it was uh Serbia right i think Serbia just went into the area and was like okay thanks for gathering them up let's fucking and just like massacred them and yeah like literally fucking

I mean, that's the utility of the genocide in Palestine, you know. This is the law of conclusion of it. Yeah, it's no longer some kind of deterrent, as a week of a deterrent as it may have been. They're all jumping at it now. It's just surprising that international law is like, when I read the news blur, when it came out 16 minutes after, I've just legitimately still surprised that there's not some kind of like immediate, like, America needs to be held very accountable

and this is like so wrong but like you know throughout the entire recent developments in the last like two or three years with the Israel-Palestine conflict a country's word means nothing oh Israel's been saying that for 20, 30 years that

they're going to fucking stop or whatever obviously we've heard the words what is it when they don't yeah they won't admit they have a nuclear weapon even like literally truth fire what do you call she's fire yeah no they've never honored one in their whole fucking life no yeah it's it's pathetic and it's just like massad's a bunch of faggots fuck massad massad is seeking to write to missus of the week right you're i i i agree

i'll agree on that wake it up diva eric banna it's it it's just truly though surprising that we can live in such a fucking scary time where like no one respects you each other's world, worldly status or like, this is not a new thing. This is not a new thing, right? The U.S. has been intervening in democratically elected nations throughout Latin America for a very, very, very long time. Guatemala, Honduras, all of the banana republics that were installed to benefit the United Fruit Company and Chiquita Banana and all of this shit. Nicaragua literally three times. Like, I like truly like, uh... Panama. Panama's been totally cucked by it and I'll say it as a Costa Rican. Yeah, Costa Rica as

well. I mean, it's, it's actually fucking bonkers that open conquest, resource extraction, deposing of elected officials is just completely back on the table now. That's no one is pretending that we can't just do that. They again are saying it openly and honestly. There is a certain element of Schadenfreude kind of not, or not shot in Freud, but like a comfort to Trump being just like, oh, we are just going to go in there, take the oil and over throw them like uh because you would hope that the honesty of it displays um the true intentions of empire yeah it's it's like a flash of comfort and yeah yes jock the american empire is honestly after oil and they're being more honest about it than they've ever been i've just surprised that you

would ever use the word honest to describe american conduct i mean that's the thing about trump that's what we're talking about is that like right it goes to his domestic policy as well he's completely open and honest about all of his intention when it comes to all of the horrible things he's doing. You would hope that translates into some greater consciousness, like

realization. Consciousness, realization, pushback, you know, whatever. Something. Literally anything. Hopefully all of this will be referenced in the Hague soon enough. I really doubt it. It doesn't even matter either. What's the Hague? What do you think it is? It's like

a male hag. The Hague. Not even using context clues. What would that even mean in context? No, but I think like even when they like invent literally when they invented the Hague, like even right when they invented it, they invented it like right after like the international criminal like courts. I'm people can fucking yell and scream at me if they want. But I'm pretty sure like right at the beginning the US was just like, yeah, but you can't do. any you literally can't do anything to us speaking of Haig and uh Israel too and like you

can't do anything to either of us like and literally that it like they have literally no power no enforceable power same as NATO same as like any kind of like human rights the the concept of human rights is now has been revealed to be such like a house of cards it's a weapon yeah literally like to be deployed as needed by the people in power and it's it's really insane like it's so fucking everyone knows it

it's so naked and obvious now they're not even trying to hide it anymore right and of course the the Trump administration doesn't care about hypocrisy actually think they're like really emboldened by their open hypocrisy because it engenders more and more nihilism among the public

but I mean with what they've charged Trump of I mean if Venezuela is a nation worthy of invasion of invasion and worthy of the arrest of their president the U.S. should have been invaded fucking, I mean,

after the opioid crisis, even before then, it should have been invaded a long ago. Xi Jinping, are you listening? Please save us. A cartel, a cartel nation state, dude. Literally. Sinolawa, New York. Massively more disastrous.

I do want to speak a little bit about the, I guess what you could call the Latin American diasporic response to this because, period. I mean, many, of course, there's a lot of, jock, you asked me this question earlier. Are Venezuelans celebrating this? Yes, yes. Many Venezuelans are happy that Maduro is out of power.

And some for good reason. Look, again, I, this is not about Maduro. This is about American empirical expansion. Oh, yeah. And America getting away with whatever it wants. I think if Venezuelans are happy, Maduro is gone. it kind of comes down to what their individual political beliefs are and there's a Miami subsect you know very similar to Cuban wealthy landowners who were exiled after the revolution in what

like 59 or whatever honestly wait I like the thing the person Maduro most reminds me of and like the moment in history like I'm no expert but like it really like is it's giving to me it's giving like Hafez al-Assad, where it's like, this, like, we're at, it's, it's literally just a crossroads where, like, the options are like, this could get, like, really bad for, like, forever. It's going to be bad forever. Oh, of course. Because, like, Hafez al-Assad, like, when Kizinger betrayed him, like, kind of, like, you know, you could argue that was the invention of modern terrorism, basically. Like, literally, that's when he, like, lost. all hope in diplomacy in

he realized everything is a joke, everything's made up and you know he started funding suicide bombers and like hijacking planes and shit and I think like we have no clue what kind of like insane

monster we're about to give birth to. Right and I'll say it rightfully so personally that's why we deserve it. Whatever we get we deserve it for real like it has some So when you say what monster we're giving birth to, you mean like whatever, like, America's... Whatever the political response among various... Yeah, like, yeah, the antibodies, like the antibodies that America, that Venezuela produces

to fight the American infection, kind of, like... Right. And, but you know what? I'm actually, this is one point, I said earlier that we deserve it. I actually am taking it back. I don't think I deserve it, okay? The political leaders of this country deserve it, and I'll say it, so does MAGA. And so do most Democrats for the record.

Oh, all of them. Literally every single one. Except Zoran. I think, like, yeah. Look, I mean, it started with Obama long before him. But there is something, I mean, when you talk about the effects of stuff like this, it will create for more immigration at a moment where America is more anti-immigrant than it's ever been before.

In rhetoric, I know Obama deported more people to Donald Trump. That's not lost on me. I do think it's probably going to get a lot worse soon enough. Oh, yeah. And the question then is, well, what do you do with all of these people who are going to flee the newly liberated Venezuela, which will certainly just become under control of Exxon Mobile? It'll be the austerity program is going to go insane.

Iraq too. It's going to be a lot worse. So where are all of them going to go? Again, we're building the damn wall. And if they're in here, ICE is going to torture them. So they're probably just going to be exiled somewhere in Central America throughout Latin America. And the entire regional face increasing destabilization because of that. And then what's going to happen?

Is it a mass migration? It's all just going to crumble and it's going to become more and more weak and more and more dysfunctional to the benefit of American interests. Like it's like the worst case scenario is that this new literally a new slave kind of a new slave. Look at Libya. Being created. Literally, yeah. But worse. Liby was one of the wealthiest nations in Africa.

Literally. Venezuela used to be one of the wealthiest nations in South America. Yeah, literally, like when Chavez took over in Venezuela, it was kind of, it was swagged out for a while. Like, when they nationalized shit, it was like they were cooking. And then guess what happened? Like, for some, for some weird reason, everything kind of went wrong. I wonder why.

What's so particularly, speaking of how Democrats also deserve what might be. coming to them. It's so fucking annoying about this is that, like, Kamala Harris made a statement, and many Democrats are something similar to this, but they're like, Doro is a brutal dictator and that regime needed to fall. But Donald Trump shouldn't

have it done that. And it's like, well, which is it, which is it? Which is it? Because you're making, you're making him look extremely strong. You fucking flip-floppers. Yeah. Well, they, I mean, the thing is, they don't fucking care. Democrats don't fucking care. Oh my God, they love it. they just they're probably jealous that he didn't bungle this like like hilary did in Benghazi

they're addicted to being out of power because the more they're out of power the more fucking like the fucking David Sedaris sends them a 10,000 dollars a week or whatever the fuck is going like literally and like I like that's why I think uh hafaz al-Assad is a really is a good example because it's like literally like he wasn't good like at he wasn't good but he you know whatever is about to happen it's going to be worse you know what i mean like i mean i mean we've seen it so many times in latin america and for like the some of the worst crimes against humanity in the history of the world in in like literally ever uh have been done in for like fruits or sweets like literally because america needs their treats you know

She's like, evil. Do you score of America's? The, they ruined the banana. We'll never be able to taste the original flavor of a banana, which is what artificial banana flavor is based on. The treats corresponded. Do you know what the OG banana looked like? It was full of seeds, honey.

It looked like, it was, it was slump, and it was ready to dump, if you know what I mean. I don't know, it sounds kind of cool. I would like the, the texture of a bunch of seeds in the middle of my banana that to spit out like a watermelon i would fucking and it's kind of honestly it's kind of like when a dog you know when you put the food on the dog bowl that has all the ridges on it so that it that makes you have to eat it slower yesterday i went to the grocery store of my mom and she she was like um do you want some uh some it's like drunk i have the new plate i'm buying for you and it's one of those mats they give dogs well no i well no i was explaining to her why i don't like the frozen edamame

kernels versus the edamame and the pods. The pods are way better. That's true. Well, the reason I like the pods so much is just one of the only foods that I eat slower because I have to stop there. And it's the same with crawfish and I get more full because I'm sitting there

and I have to like intricately like maneuver the piece of food and like interact with it significantly. Also, really important because I don't want to let this slip past me. Go ahead. We were talking earlier about chiquita. owning all the banana republics and i mean i just didn't know that this company i can tell you jock um i

i was in um guatemala for half a year when i was 17 18 the government there they democratically elected a communist called hookable arbens he kicked out the united fruit company and they sent in death squads they did in where they were mass graves in Guatemala there were mass graves they killed babies they killed families. They killed anyone who resisted U.S. intervention. A lot of them train, a lot of them, Guatemala themselves trained by the CIA. And it's just to say here, to bring it back to talking about like the varied. Well, wait, I just need to confirm really quickly. I thought that Chiquita owned a Benina Republic franchise and they were using that to colonize foreign oil or whatever. I was so good they aren't making sensible slack. Actually, that is like accidentally a really good point. It's

actually so fucked up that that fucking store that just sells like lamps and fucking you know like candlesticks is named after like one of the worst concepts like one of the worst concepts of all the worst cunts

concepts I would love a Honduran Guatemala a pan Central American market for annoying polo shirts that was called 9-11 I think they should respond with their own stores oh they definitely I mean, like in India, they have stores called, like, Hitler or shirts or whatever.

Like, given that history in Guatemala, I mean, I was, I saw a lot of Central Americans roasting Venezuelans for, you know, celebrating their quote-unquote liberation because they don't know what's coming for them. That those are airwear is not mine. Who knows what's coming for them? I'm sure it's complete and total ownership by the Exxon Corporation and partnership with the United States government. I mean, have you seen Panama?

Like, that's the model. going to be the model. It's like, it's like 12, uh, like the skyscrapers. Like, Venezuela is like way too big and there's actually like a much more, there's a healthier movement in Venezuela right now. Does America control Exxon also just for reference? Who controls who Diva? That's the question. They mutually benefit each other for sure. Do you want me to blow you? I didn't know if it was like an American owned company. Well, Jacques, do you want me to blow your mind? Do you want me to tell you, uh, okay, there used to be a company called Standard Oil, which was owned by John D. Rock. I don't know if it was like an American owned by John D.

Rockefeller. And then all of the monopolies were broken up by a bill that I forget the name of. So Exo became split into a bunch of companies, but one of those companies was the biggest possible company. And it was called S-O, which is an abbreviation for standard oil. And then it became ESSO, and then became Exxon. And then it became Exxon mobile. And now it's like literally like but 20 times bigger than the original standard oil was. I still I actually don't think adjusted for inflation that it owns as much of the

market share that it did but like literally massively successful regardless it's it's like Dutch East India trading company it's like if that was Amazon today like it's obviously not on that time scale but like it's it's literally

has been the largest company in the world for so fucking long If I can do a little bit of tone policing here, not on Exxon, just going back to what I was saying, I have seen a lot of people, and this is very minimal to the other things we're talking about here, but it has been grinding my gears, so to speak. Lots of people on the American left have a kind of one-size-fits-all critique of Venezuelan migrants, migrants, et cetera, and they can't be using. the term gusano for them wholesale, which to me is so fucking annoying. It's like, oh, you just found out a new

fucking word. Do you understand, like, the aristocratic class of Venezuela fled in 2010 and before. The people who have left Venezuela since are literally people fleeing sanctions. I'm sure many of them believe that they're fleeing Maduro. And they're well within the right to feel that way and think that way. And people on American left, I saw

so many people have just been calling like literally like brown skin recent refugees who are celebrating medora's extraction they're calling them gusanos which is fucking yeah yeah literally means worm or maggot first of all i actually knew that because not because i just looked it up but i knew that before it's it's a cuban slang that revolutionaries would call period literal class traders and landowners you know caspacho enjoyers they would call them gusanoes okay wait i do like gisbacho though honestly right well i was making a joke about that big spanish okay pure spanish it's like Hispanics not latinos if you will his spanix i think they're her spaniards wake it up deep fuck women women suck

i mean all latinos are Hispanic safe brazilians filipinos are hispanic diva and all latinos are Hispanic people wake it up maybe like deep peruvians like in the literally by indigenous people, sure. Yeah, yeah. Really quick thing to, you know who's not people? AI.

Okay, period. Yes, be gone. Actually, let's pivot entirely to talking about how AI sucks. Honest, no, I'm kidding. So fucking annoying, Hessa.

I'm just like, you people are like, you're at, who are you? Who are you? The recent Venice with an immigrants walked through the fucking

Darian Gap. Like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Shut the fuck up. You don't know what you're talking about. I barely know what I'm talking about, but I know enough that there is a distinction between new Venezuelan immigrants and Venezuelan immigrants who are literally like land-owning descendants of Spaniards. It's insane to me. And you know what? If they're happy Maduro is out, that's, again, that's not really the question. The question is how big is the American Empire going to get and how much lawlessness can we enact upon the world? No, I really think, like, that's what the goal of this entire thing is, is to try and expand our power, like, as far as possible, like, truly, like, to literally absorb, eventually, like, Canada, of course, we're trying to absorb Greenland, we're trying to absorb, like, literally, it's kind of, like, setting the stage for this imagining. They're everyone in the process, because they're not terrorists. It's so fucking scary. yeah like people just anyone who literally anyone like that goes for americans as well absolutely yeah no like truly it goes for literally anyone but right now there are these easy targets that they are like you know and it's always been this exact same way and i feel like but now it's the difference now is that there's no uh kind of mask of uh liberalism or mask of like it literally like uh One of my favorite movies. It really reminds me of one of my favorite movies.

I'm sorry to bring up a movie, but Walker by Alex Cox, a friend of the show. One of the, truly one of the great films of all time, which is literally about William Walker and his coup of Nicaragua and how he literally did a coup of Nicaragua just because he was insane and he was a maniac. and like the like it it's such a fucking like good movie it's like a comedy until it's like completely not because you're like wait he's killing like a million people like literally and yeah like truly the u.s has been doing this for so long and there's something so perverse and so fucked up about the fact that it used to be for like sugars and treats and shit like um spices yeah

I mean, that's why, that spices is why fucking colonialism. Well, spices is Europeans. It was like the excuse. Yeah, yeah. So Christopher Columbus to be like, we've got to take over South America. Food up period. It's just, yeah, sugar, sugar, all kinds of crops. You know, spice, everything nice.

Sugar spice, and everything nice. And I mean, my thought, I was talking, my dad showed up at my house the day after, you know, Maduro was kidnapped, literally to, like, argue with me. My dad is like, you know, he doesn't like Maduro. He's anti-Modoro. I wouldn't necessarily call him like pro-capitalist, but it's just like... But he's a dad. Like he literally like, he just like...

It's just, it's interesting to me and I... It says something about the like, the broadband response of like Latin Americans here. And I, it shows some kind of like conquering of the minds of people and of American propaganda. I mean, my dad was, my dad and my mom were in Panama. when Noriega got blown up in a subsidized public housing complex by the American government, he ran in there for shelter, thinking that they wouldn't kill, like, I don't know, like 90 Afro Panamanians. My father saw that, and he, there is a, people just don't think about the history here. It's insane to me.

It's really, it really boggles the mind, but what I won't do is be like, you fucking traitor, you fucking gusano. know it's in i i really have complete and utter contempt for how gleefully the american left just will discard anyone because there isn't an adherence to certain political posturing and i don't think it's a broadband thing i think it's mostly on twitter but it the whole gusano stuff just really pissed me off today i've seen a little bit too much oh my god yeah that's i mean that like really like and honestly like the entire like the way people talk about this shit online like i saw something that really pissed me of actually which is a little bit you know less serious

and a little bit we can get away from the serious stuff much stupider but you know someone was like this is how i'm feeling today and posted a picture of uh Trevor more from whitest kids you know and uh a right wing guy like responded and was like oh a tranny fucking leftist comby fucking bitch typical like you know co-opting like this fucking guy

who would have fucking hated and like it's like if someone replies with that just don't don't do don't do I mean

their children they don't know the difference between good attention about it that thrive on outrage it's funny I saw

all these right wing accounts on Twitter sharing videos from Buenos Aires of Argentinians celebrating a big soccer victory in the streets. And they were like, this is what Caracas looks like right now.

Mind you, what Caracas looks like right now. There's massive demonstrations against the U.S. government right now in Caracas. So also, Argentina is the opposite of Venezuela, literally like they are enemies. Like, it is literally, it's like fucking the Yankees and the Red Sox basically. Argentinians will tell you as much. And, I mean, it's just like, again, like not, most Americans can't find fucking Venezuela on a map, first of all. Yeah.

I hate this stupid hog country we live in. And one last thing on this, the whole conceit, the WMD lie of it all right now is that this is to stop drug trafficking, okay? Whether or not the fentanyl is coming directly from Maduro, and it's not. that is an American problem you don't no one else it Latin American countries aren't selling fentanyl to each other it's imported to the United States because we are a weak depressed atomized pathetic nation because of the economic reforms we've allowed to happen it is our fault and if you want to do something to combat the drug problem in this country

there's a lot that could be done domestically of course they don't care about that they don't care it's also so stupid to think that the drugs are only coming in from like one country or like there's one sole person or group of people more responsible than anyone for this yeah drugs are going to come into this country no matter there are people exactly in the american government yeah they've gotten everyone addicted like uh who invented the cocaine routes it was the fucking cia no literally and same with them with heroin same thing with the opiate oh go ahead um same thing with the opium fields in Afghanistan. Like, it was literally the CIA who secured them.

And, like, truly, like, it literally, like, this, the small thing of, like, the CIA, like, literally, like, America kind of securing an area of Afghanistan filled with opium. And then just letting people harvest it and send it across, like, send it to us. and then like it created like this huge influx of heroin and like the small move of being like actually like we're going to leave and then the Taliban took over and literally after that like the like you literally it's it's so difficult to get heroin and it's now like so easy to get fentanyl like it's so difficult also because of like new laws it's so difficult to get any like normal opiate which everyone is addicted to like so many Americans are addicted to opiates so many Americans are addicted to opiates. and but now like the only opiate anyone can get is fentanyl which is the most dangerous one the cheapest one the one that is coming from like that like it can be made anywhere like literally i mean like oh who are we kidding anyone in the american government cares that poor people are dying from drug overdoses oh no it's literally is literally how trump got elected no look at j d vance jd vance is like my fucking hick fucking pig family and they're really weak ass they're like weak he wrote a book about how she had to piss too how horrible and weak his family is oh never mind for becoming addicted to opiates and then he's like literally like he not only does he not care he actually does care and he's like actually good like i i really want to call them

and his like posturing is so fake and everyone knows it's so fake it's really like insane like uh you know it's it's like america has become like like Russia after the fall of the Berlin Wall like truly where we just do like theater where we're pretending that we're still a country and everyone

knows like that like no norms. It's run by a corrupt elite class. It's insane like again if you're going to call Maduro a like you know someone who violates human rights someone who's on a road to authoritarianism

come on. What are we talking about here? Look at the United States of America for one second. And that's not just Trump, Diva. Like, this whole thing was done without any congressional approval. Like, what are we talking about? What are we talking about? It's insane. It's insane to me.

Anyways, let's, that's about all I have on Venezuela. Oh, wait, no. We don't want to talk longer about it? Please. That. I had so much to say. Venezuela begins with a V. It ends with an A.

It's a country. Drugs. Maybe they are. You want to talk about it. I'm being sarcastic. I'm joking. I'm so excited to talk about anything. I don't want to ever hear Maduro or Venezuela.

Or Eva, you live in the world, so it's going to affect you in one way or the other. I, oh my God, it really reminds. Actually, that's one of the tweets I did that would, or actually an Instagram post that I did when I used to use Instagram. Like, that really, like, people got so mad at me for absolutely no reason. For what? I photoshopped a post of, I photoshopped a post of Arka posting to Instagram. extantation's face with Chavez's face. And I just put a question mark and I was like, why did she say this?

Yeah, literally. People were like, take this down. She's actually like, why would you do this? And I'm like, I, it's just like, I don't know. Well, she also gets that treatment. Her parents are allegedly investment bankers. I don't, or her dad. I literally don't care.

I'm like, it doesn't fucking matter to me. and like it's just yeah people can't always be dying for the sins of their parents it's just like if you were born before your parents made horrible I mean like you can't be like a also she's she's

are we pretending she's some kind of fascist like what are we talking about here she does hate she does hate she literally has posted I think that's why I did it because I saw like I'm sorry let her fucking do it it doesn't fucking matter to me it's not where the problems are coming

from the problems are coming from America Adifa, like, get over it. If you're not from America, like, it's literally, like, you are so far down the line of, like, literally, like, America's the head of the snake. It's starting with your fucking country. Have a, yeah, no, but like...

Have a domestic critique. Well, America is, like, the head of the snake, though. And it's, like, just literally, like, everything else is, like, the neck down. It's like, I mean, like, it really is, like, not to be a fucking, you know, I'm sorry for being a white,

you know, you know white transgender woman but you know it really is like like fuck like you know it just it just feels like you it just feels really bad to be american it feels really bad to be anything you know there's no like the guilt and the shame of it all yeah it's like we live in an extremely shameful country it's just it's not really like a productive emotion to have you know and some way it's actually soothing i think for a lot of in this weird, like, self-flageating way. Absolutely. But, yeah, I don't know.

I mean, I want to move out of the country. Yeah, I was texting you guys earlier. We should all move to the Bahamas and work at my great-aunt special needs school called ECC. Every child counts. We need some human trafficking allegations. I'm sure that'll help. No, what the fuck you're talking about? We're not human-timore.

We're not bringing them anywhere. We're going there. Children's school. the Caribbean to me is no this is literally like my my great aunt is like the like the closest living person I've ever met to being like a literal actual like a saint I don't think she's trafficking and shit yeah no no wow wow wow and so sweet and so nice and so kind and you're gonna accuse her of trafficking children wow hello Ben that is even low for you mom convinced them they're joining in on this one of them is telling me about this one of them's

going to feel really special at special needs school if you know what i'm saying i got you a new student i got you a new one to teach honestly though like they like these if if they're like like okay never mind no i'm i'm not going to say but if there was like human trafficking going on like that these i'm joking i'm joking okay okay okay i'm fully joking i'm fully they're looking for ukrainian teenage girls like honest they're looking for like you know yeah they're not going after you're looking for special needs kids in the bahamas it's not traffic and we just get rid of the bad it's literally there's no there's no trafficking it's a really fantastic now you're protesting a little bit too much yeah doth protest too much me think if you are

trafficking okay the way that this the way that this there's literally nothing. Like there's no critical. I'm going to Google Hesah Trafficker. Okay, go ahead. Do it. I'm sure. I actually this, this came up when I panicked after two months after I chose the name Hessa and I was like

Fuck, wait, fuck! I literally have never like I've read one Herman Hesse book and I really don't like know anything about him. Like was he a Nazi? And it's like, oh, he actually like trafficked. He got Thomas Mann out of

Germany and I'm like Thomas Mann I feel like he's a pedophile I'm not like I don't know Chuck if you had to transition what name would you choose I watched a movie

with Dakota Jacqueline no I watched no inspired by this Rockett Rockett would be iconic for you no well first of all my I like Madge because

oh Madge the worst name of all time literally the ugliest name like it's not even like i mean the trans love they love bringing back like old lady names but madge is i have oh my god in in real life before i told my family the name of my girlfriend and they said that it was uh that it sounded uh too normal or like it was it just sounded too much like the other name and that i should have had a girlfriend with an old timey name like madge and I was like... And so that's instantly what you thought.

Like maybe I could be the beautiful girlfriend for the game. I am Madge, Mama. You're looking at Madge. I was cut off. I was cut off. Guess what? What I really would like to be the named, inspired by the Dakota Johnson lesbian roncom.

I just watched a few nights ago is she's asked what name she would be if she could change her name to any other name. And she says Denise. What a stupid moment. in a movie to be like what what if you could change your name to any because she can first of all like you literally you literally can change your name to anything like it all you have to do is put it in a newspaper like um and by the way also denise is my aunt's name and i love her so period i need to tell you something that you probably didn't know but i am your aunt denise

oh my god well okay we've we've had enough of sad news or scary or depressing news i have one more depressing news i did google hessa trafficker and the first thing that came up was the german state of hessa in trafficking crimes so if you just want to own up to anything right now hessa before i read this just let me know yeah sorry everyone i would like to publicly apologize the state that i am in charge of in germany it is uh you know Actually, like, whenever someone asks me, like, is that, that's a German name. Are you German? And I'm like, no, my parents really just love this one writer. And it's, like, literally like, they're German. I'm American. My parents, by the way, they, like, my dad has not read a book in, like, 25 years. And, like, my mom, my mom actually reads a book a day. Like, but, uh, I don't think she's ever read her whenessa. Chuck, have you been reading anything recently? Do you read? Oh, God, no. Oh, hell. Hell no. What was the last book you read?

The last thing I read was the Wikipedia page of Dakota Johnson. Nancy Drew versus the Pirates of the Cove. You read Great Gansby recently because your phone dialed on a train. I read Gay Gatsby, and I read... Gay Gatsby, Gate Gadsby. He was kind of gay. Oh, he literally... He was so gay.

I never realized how gay that book was until I reread it recently. I was like, well, it was just fags. Central. They're all like sipping champains with their pinky hat being like, life is so deaf, decadent, and redrum. No, it was a gay time. One of my English teachers in high school was like

105 years old, and it was like common knowledge. Like, when he taught the Great Gatsby, which, you know, every English teacher taught, like, it was common knowledge that you could not, you absolutely could not call it gay. And, like, he would assign the gayest books. Like, he was assigned, like, Billy Budd.

And he would, he would, for bid you from calling it gay? No, like, if you called it gay, he would be like, this is wrong. Was he gay? Oh, absolutely. Seems like an extremely old closeted man thing to do. He was like, my wife left

me at the altar when I was 27, and I've been alone ever since. Should have got a dumber wife, buddy. Oh, my God. She knew what you were. She knows what you are. Pure. Literally. No, the way he was, like, is reminiscing fondly, he's like, when I went to the

school in 1902, we would just be naked running around and we could just talk each other I always feel so bad whenever I see like an old closeted gay guy it's so sad oh my god I know me too I truly it's but nowadays I'm like

especially because like nowadays it's like you can just be like go ahead but with guys like I don't know like who's the Bazlerman Like Baslerman I'm like Well

That's a Hollywood thing Stay stay Like you're good You know You're cooking Like everyone knows he's gay Everyone no one cares Like it's truly

Girl he looks like a plushy The filler His wife Is his costume designer And they live in separate wings With the same house Good God I mean that's just funny

At that point And at some point you have to wonder, like, do men just like being there? I saw this tweet about heated rivalry. This episode was just half complained about tweets I saw. Sorry about that, but I saw this tweet about heated rivalry where some

like, it literally teleported me back to like 2016 because someone was like, you might, it's okay to not like the show if you're gay, but how dare you critique it publicly? Because there might be a closeted sports a closeted athlete

who this is giving him hope for the first time in his life. And I'm like, first of all, why are we inventing hypothetical victims that mandate we can't speak about a TV show? First of all, that's just psychotic. Second of all, why are we inventing hope? Period. Second of all, if that guy's in the closet, I'm sorry, you probably enjoy being in there. You probably get off on being closeted. And let him, that's a sexuality onto itself, honey. Let it go. No, period. Like, I truly, like, there's not enough, like, Nathan Lane in sex in the city

like dating Bitsy von Muffling and she's like, they're like, oh, he's gay and she's like, I literally don't give a fuck. We just are checking. That's kind of iconic. Like we're chilling. Yeah, unless you talk about it all the time, like those fucking or unless you're like visibly depressed and like

clearly want to kill yourself because you can't imagine you're gay. Or you're posting like. That's a different thing than being married to a costume designer who has her own wing in the man yeah yeah yeah and like um yeah yeah that's the german coming out or like uh yeah yeah yeah uh actually i have my own struggle if you will wake it up mine combe is what i call yeah she even speaks german i thought she said my combe chapter one that's that's your version of mind comp jac my name is nousgard i actually see that's the mouse guard no just said your name is mouse card jock you would actually you would actually relating to noscards well you should read them oh my god the way nowscar is so you know what jock should read is

uh is um uh jock would actually be extremely bored of nosgard but jock you should write red wall uh or what's the one with uh martin the mouse like the fucking uh I have an Uncle Martin and he's dead. That like children's, those books for children. They're for little kids. Oh, I know exactly. I told you I don't read. So you would go.

You were Bred to the last book you read, Jock. What was it? I know. The last book I read, which I usually reread around my birthday, is nine stories by J.D. Oh, yeah. I forgot. You love that book. Because I just love, I love the, when it comes to reading, I go back to two books.

It's two collections of short stories. A good man is hard to find by Flannery O'Connor and nine stories by J.D. Do you like Sylvia Plath? I can see you really being a Plath girl. I've never, I've never, wait, say it again, Hessa. Those are really good polls, I was going to say. That's it. Do you like Sylvia Platt?

I can really see you identifying with her. I've never read it. I've never read a single book of hers. Yeah, she was cooking a rotisserie chicken and she tried to look inside to see how the chicken was doing. That's correct. And she accidentally breathed in some gas and people misconceive. Actually, more stuff happened.

More stuff happened. Keep going. Keep going. What else happened? She. They found her there were nine causes of death. Name all nine. Well, she was able to actually get out safely out of the, out of the oven.

Okay, we have zero now. We have zero. Okay, keep going. Can you just listen? She was able to get out of the oven, but her face was so horribly disfigured by the melted heat of skin peeling off. She stuck her head back in the oven. She said, I might as well finish this roast.

She's like, this turkey ain't done cooking. So that's eight left? But she wrote the bell jar? Yes. Yeah, she wrote the bell jar. That's seven. You have seven more causes of death to name. Oh, seven more causes of death. Sylvia Plath fell down. Her face in the oven. What else happened?

She fell down the stairs after she broke her leg and tripped on her own crutches and fell down two stories and and when she fell to the bottom a concrete roller got her on accident too like it like in Austin powers yeah yeah and then um of course she was still alive at that point she was flattened a little bit she survived she yeah um you know she could have died dick was so good that she like she went ah dick was so good that she okay so she had sex right after her breath left her body and she died uh with the orgasm okay wait but actually she didn't die there because there were

five more uh causes okay so she was recording a podcast with her friends in the future which she's time traveled to okay and um out of nowhere um she was murdered by a jealous podcaster who was tired of the attention she was getting yeah yeah okay i killed that damn bitch because she was making too much how do you do it all all four all four of the other ways that he died are with you with the oven of course diva he cooked her up like a fucking country ham period so i i blasted that bitch with two oozes coming out oh shit coming out i went and and and when i i swear to god when i saw her a year later in the denver airport okay so she didn't die from that when you i i killed her and she came back to life she's got nine lives so

it doesn't matter yeah yeah i just gonna come back to life she's like a mario with six hearts she's literally exactly sylvia plath is like a mario two two three more or two more death what two more one more no um she was listening to death tones too loudly and she kept turning it up and turning it up around the fur album until her she got to the very last track and she turned it too loud and her head exploded and popped like a grape between my toes hell yeah okay but okay period but i wanted to say something really quickly too the reason why i like both the collection of short stories is because both of their tone is very dark and very like

just unhappy and it's just like life isn't good enough and I just immediately identified with that unsatisfied sense of displeasure that they both display in these different like American vignettes. Absolutely. You know what, Jock, you should read Labyrinths. I think you would really fuck, you would fuck with it. David Bowie? No, it's Borges. Borges-Luiz Borges.

I love Borges. Oh, you know what else too? I want to say this too, and I didn't realize this to recently. the one of the favorite books from high school was nausea well what the phone jock i also love that book in high school yeah that's crazy and i was like why did i ever get into that book and i realized it's because there's a gilmore girls episode

oh that makes sense oh my god it's i was like why how did i ever pull this out like in the l word about doing uh thuspoke sarah schuster it might have been i think it was gilmore more girls. I was watching something recently and they brought it up and I was like, oh, period. Is that where I watched this from? I think also I was just probably enchanted by the name. You're gay. Also, you're gay. Guys, we're all

gay. You're gay. You're gay. Your mama's gay. Your dad's gay. And you can hear more gay stuff later this week because we'll be back, Deepens. Thank you for listening. If you like what you hear. You're gay. My dick's in a pussy. Right. I guess John isn't gay. I take that back. I'm sorry. Do you want to hear more secondary your address go to our Patreon for weekly bonus episodes and we'll talk to you later this week. Goodbye, Divas.

Bye. Bye. You know,