Seeking Derangements - SD 498 - Carnival of Souls

Episode Date: May 13, 2026

Hello Seekers! Ben here, today Jacques, Hesse and I discuss my recent hauntavirus diagnosis, Disney Adults, and cheating poly senators. Plus Max joins us!

Hello, everyone, Wittgen, Monarch. Hello, everyone, welcome to seeking derangements. It's Ben. Jock and Hesse are here with me, as always. If you like what you hear, go subscribe to our Patreon for weekly bonus episodes, because this is a free one. So, hello to all you broke bitches out there.

What's up, y'all? Not much, darling. It's been raining in Lafayette for, like, four or five days. And I'm sorry, I love the rain, but it's disheartening. It's like too much for me. I'm trying to run errands. Period. I've got a lot to do right now. I'm trying to get ready for multiple things at once,

and I can't be doing all of this getting ready and all of the rain. The Uber's already take 15 to 20 minutes to arrive on a normal day. If it's raining, it's 20 minutes. Or you get a, if you open up a lift or Uber, it just says on it a long await time. There's no time. They can't even give you an estimate. Where are you, Jacques? You're in like a different milieu than...

I'm in my... This is actually my childhood bedroom growing up. Oh, my gosh. If you look around really quickly. What a beautiful, an enchanting room. It's really cute. You can't see, but it really has a nice... I closed the window because it was pouring raining earlier,

and I wanted to muffle the sound of the rain. Oh, professional. Very professional, darling. I'm so professional these days. I mean, honestly, I'm probably the most professional version of myself I could be right now. Okay, period. And you're dressing too impressed, as usual. You have your, not to keep it visual at this moment, but.

Well, look, if you people want to dream about what I look like right now, go ahead and imagine I'm wearing a beautiful hand-died t-shirt from the, the Unlice of Ramix. We've got the Ed Hardy, Sequin, butterfly baseball hat, and I'm going to cut my hair off. Y'all can hear it from me first. I'm going to go get a large haircut that removes all of my hair. I no longer have a commitment to keep my hair up.

You just put it up and you already look so much more. Like, I just don't. I think you shave it, you shave the whole thing. You get jacked. You get crazy jacked. Okay. you become angry at everyone on the streets, but not like...

What's different about that? Well, I think your current anger is more like a, you know, a passive-aggressive, kind of, you know, a bitchy anger, and instead you should switch to, like, a scary anger where you're like, people, like, someone bumps into you and you, like, beat the fuck out of them for no reason. Meza-Fanook. Why don't you get off and eat a po-boy,

you skinny little scrawny faggat? No, see, just don't even say anything. Also, I'm upstairs. Yeah, period. I'm upstairs this time, so I don't have to be scared about what my mama hears because she can't hear nothing up here. Did she hear you screaming about calm last time?

No, but I, well, she didn't, she wouldn't bring it up to me, but I feel like if she was just sitting, minding her business. Was she acting weird after? No, but I mean, she hears a lot of insane shit from me all. He's heard you say worse things before. She's heard me say a lot of things.

And this is just pretty low key. Are you worried about the hauntavirus? I was worried about it. I tried to tell my friend who is on this. How did you find out about it? What do you know about it? Jack, his friends with a bunch of rats. They've been talking about it for a while.

Well, let's let me begin by saying Mercer, hauntavirus, both. you can get them from rat droppings. Okay. But you got it from a gay guy. I got it from a demented gay guy. I didn't get it from rat droppings. But if you're ever around rat droppings and you don't properly clean yourself, think about how hard of a time I had on Mercer and then wash your hands.

I used to work out of this studio that was full of rats. I'm like shocked I didn't get it. Well, look, the thing is that you kept clean. enough. And now that studio is a sauna. Well, the sauna's gone now. I think it's like a performance space now. Yeah, yeah, I forgot. The singer's still open? Yeah. What do you mean?

Well, I don't know. The way it sounded that changing up so much, I didn't know if that affected singer or something. No, it's a successful bar. Yeah. Yeah. I love that place. It's like a comedy seller. It looks like the comedy mother ship. Yeah. Jesus. Yeah, it's a transgender comedy seller. You're on us. The comedy mother ship. I don't know how to turn it off,

but it's showing my mom's text messages that she's receiving live onto this computer right now. And I'm like, please, no, no. Well, we went through this last time. Do you remember? Actually, the last like two episodes, I believe. No, but it's just... Are you using your mom's laptop still?

Yes, yes, yes. I'm waiting for my new laptop to arrive. I'm having my old laptop is being scraped for the data. It's trying to be repaired. It's a fucking nightmare. They're getting all the glue off of it. I have to go to new. I had to get my manager to bring my computer to New Orleans.

I was supposed to go to New Orleans. I missed, two buses did not show up. I mean, it's fucking annoying shit happens when it rains in Louisiana. But it's all happening. My computer is on the way from Vietnam. Oh my God. What did you buy? What the fuck did you buy?

Apple. Apple. It ships directly. No, because I had to get it custom. I got a I got a 2015 Macbook Air that's completely broken. The screen doesn't work.

I had to make sure that it, you know, I had to, it was too much of a big L to have fucked up my computer in the first place at all. Every time I fucked up my computer, it stalls my life.

And I couldn't just, I had to, set up a payment plan and get a MacBook. Okay. But whatever. It was fucking expensive. It was like the most money I've ever spent on one thing ever in my entire list.

You can get like a MacBook air for like 800 bucks, dude. I have one. Yeah, but I need something for DJing as well as podcasting. Yeah, I mean, I guess... Podcast off this for nothing, dude. Okay, let me say. I guess if you make like a, like, a, like, big purchase, a laptop is kind of a good investment.

That's like a good thing to spend it on. Just I had to get more data. I had to, I've already, I had four terabytes in the last one, and it was filled up three terabytes full. So this one I ended up paying $1,200 extra, have 12 terabytes built in. What the fuck? That's more than you'll ever need in your entire life.

And it's like, but I already, and you could just buy a, get an external hard drive. Yeah, they're like 40 bucks for two terabytes, 40 bucks. But when you're DJing and you're using external hard drives, it slows down the transfer rate and it's not good. And I want it quick. Done. And I had to get the M5 chip.

Don't say it out loud. But this is how much of a payment plan I had to start or this is how much the total. Okay. No, that's insane, Jock. I mean, I don't know why you. From Apple directly. I don't know why I mean. I do that.

Yeah. Because I needed, why are you looking at you're like, you just, you're like, y'all were saying a week. ago to get a new computer yeah but that's like the price of a car like that's like crazy yeah i'm not getting a car i'm not doing a car i mean i need the computer for tjing and what what could you even get for that what like is that it does apple even make a computer that costs that's like insane that's how much i have like i have like this crazy laptop for like video editing that has like the m5 chip and like i think like a terabyte of space and it cost me like two grand.

I'm going to build the most expensive computer on Apple's website. I got him. I didn't mean to. And I'm like, what the, the, the, the, the memory was the most expensive part of the component. That's why it's taking forever to get because they're like making it from scratch. Where did you buy? Jacques, I'm on Apple's website. I'm getting the most expensive laptop that they made.

MacBook Pro. MacBook Pro. Like MacBook Pro. Pro M5 chip with as much space as you can get. Yeah, I'm going to do this. I don't even think. I got something near that and it cost me like $2,500. Okay, let me see.

Yeah, that's not even close to the price that you've shown. I mean, Jack, did you get it from Apple's website? Yes. Okay. This is very confusing to me. Well, we'll see. We'll see. Yeah, yeah, we'll see what else.

No, don't say we'll see. It's from Apple's website. I was... Look, I had to... A, I had to get a loan. B, I had to get it. Can you move closer to your mic, please? Yeah.

Whoa. No? Talking to your mic, please. Let me... I'll talk into this damn, Mike. Look, long story short, my life will end if I don't have a new computer

or the working one. And I, I've had... They've been working on my... computer now for seven or eight days. And I'm like, I'm at the point where I need to go get the data off. They're already extracting as much as they can.

I mean, this shit is annoying. I had to go deal with some idiots at a place called Apple Pie repair. I mean, they were nice, but the fact that I had to go to a place called Apple Pie repair, it upset me. And then it broke the balance of my food diet because instead of getting the food delivered,

I had to get an apple pie because they reminded me of it. I had to get one of those. I had to walk into the restaurant and go eat. I ran into Michael who we did the Halloween haunted New Orleans episode with, who drove us around at the thing. So that was a plus,

but I don't want to have to go out of my norm. Okay, Jacques, did you get Final Cut Pro pre-installed on it with a license? No, I don't need that. Okay. That costs like 200 bucks. Yeah, then I don't understand how you paid that much. I didn't even get the high screen.

Okay, then I did, okay, I guess. It's literally a mystery to me how you paid that much. Yeah, yeah. What, um, Jacques, how? I had to get a loan so everyone don't think I'm some baller. This is a very, no one thinks that. I've had to get a payment plan and alone. I don't think anyone thinks we're ballers, dude.

Yeah. We're cah ballers. But what were you saying about, uh, period. What were you saying, talk about the hauntavirus. How did you find out about it? You had a friend, a rat. Haunted virus. I have a friend who's on a tour as a tour manager and they're going to go to Europe and to Australia next. And I was like, didn't you hear about that hauntavirus? And I feel like if I hear about something and you haven't, then that means it's probably a problem.

and I was concerned. I heard about it from like random internet sources. I kept Google Haunted virus every day. But I saw one TikTok that made me less scared. And it was from yesterday. And the woman said, it's a two out of ten concern. Yeah. And I don't know what her authority on this subject was, but I believed her and I feel less scared about it.

Well, it's like it's spread from rodents and usually isn't like spread from person to person. but there is a variant of it in Argentina that is spread person to person the Andy Strait, yes, Diva. And it's possible that this is the Andy Strain that's having an outbreak. And so I'm like, I'll blow it up. Blow it up, they don't let them off.

These people are just going to have, if they weren't real ones, they would just kill themselves. Like literally jump into the ocean. Well, if we're not, if it's docking anywhere, it's docking in Israel. That's first rule.

Yeah, send it there. I'd be kind of okay with that. Yeah. send it there but but but definitely blow it up i mean come on what they probably love cruise ships in israel anyways like that seems like a very they love everything annoying a hobby um jac i i i saw because it's on a cruise ship right that it broke out it's going to dutch yeah it broke it on a cruise ship and they just they let a couple americans off in atlanta today oh so can i can i can i can i can i can i and like has mat suits and like i think this the cdc is there so hopefully they're

just like going into a fucking bunker at the CDC. Yeah, yeah. Can I give you multiple different facts to cook? First of all, it's confirmed to be the Andes strain. Oh, it is. So it is transferred human to human. And this is a disease that has no cure and very little treatment. And it has a 40% mortality rate.

And then on top of that, the cruise ship, like any cruise ship they see, stop at random places along the cruise ship. Yeah, I mean, it's an ideal place for a virus to spread. It's like all the people are contained on this like fucking roving island and they're making stops all over the world. So there was a first person that died of haunt of virus on the cruise ship was first identify as sick dead the next day. Him and his wife, the body of the guy and his wife get out and are going.

go to the opposite end of Africa. They go from the other side to Johannesburg. And they have like a few people that I get off like during this cruise and stuff. And also there were employees that only had contracts that ended mid-cruz and they got off at their different places. So like who was exposed and the tracing of this virus is going to be. What would you do to solve it outside of just killing? Kill them all. instead of killing them all, which I agree with.

Put them in a cage and watch them die. Okay, so just let them die in quarantine. I mean, I'm not trying to sound cruel. I just don't want to deal with this. I would invent a new virus called Gengar virus, because a haunter in Pokemon famously evolves into Gengar. It's much worse. It's only rats, and we give it to all the rats in the world,

and they all die. Yeah, kill them. Kill them all as well. I would love all the rats. Put all the rats in a big box somewhere and just let them kill each other or something. I feel like the animal-loved PETA people are going to say, that's wrong, but... I mean, it would probably fuck up the food chain, like, massively, but I don't care. I hate them.

They're so ugly, and they've tormented me. I'm so scared of rodents in general. Yeah. I'm so frightened of mice and rats. What's your least favorite animal? I think rat is probably a lot. there for me. I think mice honestly is at least I think mice to me is worse because it's harder to get

and they're they're littler and tinier. When I lived in Missoula, Montana and we got mice, it was the end of my life. And I could not sleep right. And they would run past my, um, my air mattress or literally run into my air mattress. So it would make a noise. I was like, this is not okay. And this is not okay. I couldn't have, so the house was under, it was six degrees inside the house and it was less negative than that in general.

I did not know how to operate the heat system, even though I kept asking my roommate. It, it, and there, I was not sleep because of the mice. I was 24-7 tormented. And then one day they, the, my roommate saw me out and he was with his boyfriend and they honked their horn. at me while I was walking past them. They surprised me. And I went in front of their car and I slammed my hands on their car. I said, stop it!

Stop! And I started crying, so no, I don't like mice. Um, drove me to that. Ben, can you just tell me your symptoms real quick? I just want to check something. Um, they are all, um, similar to the haunt.

I looked up a haunted virus symptoms. Oh my God. Yeah. Oh, no. You about to be haunted by that damn virus, bitch. I think first of all As a society We just can't even stand enough

I don't think we will make it through another No It would No one We wouldn't even have quarantine It would just It would become fucking the purge immediately Yeah

End of society It's game over if this is over There's no way The American mind is already so fucking fragile And hanging on by a fucking It's It would just go for her. We're done. You might have heard a news report that they were sent back to Atlanta. I heard that

they have a quarantine, an official government-sanctioned quarantine facility based out of Nebraska that they were being sent to. Also, there were quarantine containment travel units, something, some crazy thing I had never heard of in my goddamn life, to transport the sick people. but also people were like let off of this you would be such a good Joe Rogan guest jock oh my god heard these things you hear about something and then you talk about it like I mean you don't

not really absolute authority because you did you did admit that you don't you didn't know what those were you brought them up what wasn't what I admit that I didn't know just so I can go back and undo it So I could go back. Let me know what a mistake I made

So I could go back. Jacques, have you ever been on a cruise ship, Jacques? Fuck, no. That sounds like the opposite of, no. Ever? I would go on one. No, absolutely not. That is the opposite of my vibe.

Are you kidding me? What about Creed? What about this? This seems very your vibe. Creed presents the summer of 99 and beyond cruise, starring Creed, Breaking Benjamin, Seven Dust, Zach Myers of Shinedown, Hubastank, drowning pool, Our Lady Peace.

That seems like an STI cesspool. Yeah. That sounds like everyone who was supposed to be either aborted or was not meant to be conceived, all of the children that were, of, all the accidents have gathered to go on. Four days, endless stories. Two massive pool deck sets from Creed.

Celebrate the legacy of my own prison with a one-of-a-kind storytelling experience. Look, I'm going to be honest. Compete in an iconic flip-cup tournament and make your mark with unforgettable tattoo moments. This is so... That sounds like a literal nightmare. Abs of fucking literally not. And I'm going to be... I'm going to even out myself and make myself sound worse.

the only musical cruise that I've ever heard about that I would be interested in and this is really embarrassing is the Benfolds musical cruise I really like. Benfold's cruise? What the fuck? There was.

It has that many fans? That's insane. If you grew up with Benfolds 5 and Benfolds, I think it could go a long way. I guess so. They seem to indie The USS Benfold. Literally, girl.

Wait. I would go on a cruise. I would love to actually go on a cruise. I think it'd be, it'd be fun to just, you know, see what the vibe is. I mean, they're disgusting. They're clearly full of, like, disease and poop and horrible food. But it'd be fun to just, you know, give yourself into the experience and see what happens. I'd go on one of the gay ones.

I think if a cruise knew who I was and what I was about and it invited me for an all-expenses paid opportunity that would be inherently so positive, I would consider it. but even then I'm like, no. Apocalypse happens and you're on a cruise. Bad situation. Outbreak happens and you're on a cruise. Bad situation. Food is bad on a cruise. You can't smoke weed.

It depends on the cruise. I mean, the food can be pretty good. The last cruise I went on was the Disney cruise with my family. Oh my God, wait when? This would have been like 2014 or something. So I would have been like a teenager. But my brother, my younger brother and sister were like young. So they were like so psyched.

And it was very fun. Like we had a nice, a nice room. It was very bougie. Like, yeah. And it was, you know, it was pretty fun. But, and it was in Europe. So it was like, you know, I could get, I could get lit. You know what I mean?

Right. Right. Of course. I mean, but yeah. Let's go. Wait, so if the cruise is American and they're driving through Europe, everyone on the cruise can drink? Well, it's...

The children? I don't know. What do you think, like, if there's an... I don't know, like, how do you think it works? Do you think that, like, if... The second, the cruise is driving near... That it's U.S. law on an American ship, it's like... I don't know how it works.

I actually, you know what? I'm going to be honest, I don't really know either. It's maritime law. Anything goes? There is a Colombo episode where he's on a ship and he has to, you know, he has to solve a mystery there. No, but you do have to follow the laws of whatever sovereign nation's body of water. That's why when certain cruises are like in the Bahamas, they pay their employees like $2 an hour. That's fucked.

That's so fucked up. No, it's really fucked up. I feel so bad for people who work on cruises. You make a lot of money. like in a short amount of time but oh god you're like working around the clock and you're like on you're stuck on a cruise ship yeah and they like you the conditions probably suck you know you probably have to share room with like four other people and like the bottom deck like right next to the engine like i thought about it when i was like 22 i was like maybe i'll just go make a bunch of money on a cruise ship i it's

always been one of my uh like a bucket list thing for me was always uh taking not a cruise but an ocean liner, you know, like, because on, like, cargo ships and, like, transport ships, sometimes it's like, they'll be like, oh, we're carrying also, like, a hundred passengers as well. And you can get, because I'm so curious, what the fuck that would be like.

I use a fun kind of, like, social experiment thing just to see how people act and see what you would do, see if you could handle it. I would actually really like to try doing something like that. I'd love to see you on below deck I think I'd thrive You'd be so good at it Ben You really need to look into it

I know you're you frightened of reality television But I feel like you would really make a good spot in that I'd be on reality TV in a second if they let me Yeah of course I'd love to be on reality television Yeah Hi I'd been more a host of Interior Motors And I'm here to win this competition Making fun of Ben for

Agreeing with you I'm too weak. I'm too weak to stand up for myself. Yeah, I'll have to stand up for you, Ben. I'm going to stand up right now to get a glass of one. Speaking of the Disney cruise and cruises and Disney, there was an amazing article in The New Yorker recently about one of my favorite types of people. I often watch Twitch stream run by some friends of mine. the Chapo FYM

Twitch stream and they there's a bunch of people they watch who are like Disney adults and recently in the past several years these Disney adults have been evolving to where Disney

is like okay these are cash cows we can like let's get them to move to Disney world and like we can pump every single dollar out of them early retirement at fucking in Orlando Yeah, exactly.

It's not cheap either to go to Disneyland. This is a New Yorker article about this. No, it's extremely, it's so expensive. It puts an unrealistic strain on not only Disney adults, but the even bigger losers, Star War adults. This is a New Yorker article called, Are Disney Adults the happiest debtors on Earth? For the Walt Disney Company's most loyal fans,

the pursuit of magic can come with a fine, figure credit card bill, which five, yeah, that's, okay, in 2023, Ashley, a freshman at Quinnipiac University in Connecticut had $15,000 in her bank account. Excited by her newfound freedom as a college student, she decided to start going on solo trips. Walt Disney World in Orlando, Florida, a place she had fallen in love with as a child after visiting for the first time when she was four, seemed like an obvious choice. She went to during her winter break. Then she returned six times in two years. It's just so magical, she explained. It keeps drawing me back. Soon enough, her account balance had dwindled to just $5. Jesus Christ. It's like gambling for women. I mean, this is, this just sounds like me in Houston, but keep going. Also, I couldn't make $15,000 last two years without going to Disney World, let alone six times. I don't know what. It's insane. Yeah. It's just a really unrealistic expectation to celebrate your fandom to pay that much.

It's just like there's certain things that you just can't even afford to be a fan of. I mean, I'm sorry, whenever someone's a Disney adult, I'm like, your uncle needs to be investigated by the FBI. Yeah, no, it's truly, truly. Something happened to you. Sweetie, let's break the uncle. Check the uncle. Let's break the chains of trauma that are holding you into your adolescence. Last year, Ashley landed a job with the Disney College program, a semester-long internship during which college students and recent graduates serve in entry-level roles throughout the parks.

For around $400 a week, her salary after Disney deducted rent from her company-sponsored housing, she worked as a photopass photographer, taking pictures of guests as they enjoyed various attractions. One of the perks of being in the program was that she had free access to Disney World when she wasn't on the clock, And so she'd often hang around in the park, spending liberally on food and merchandise. She collects Disney pins. It's just a company town. This is literally just like a coal mining company town of this bitch. Yeah, except like the like crazy thing is that it's like a fake job.

Like it's literally like Jersey Shore type logic, this kind of thing where they know that the money that this person will. have to inevitably call their parents and ask for at the end of every week, um, will go straight back to them. So they, and even without that, they are making money on them. Like I,

um, I've had friends who, from like celebration, Florida, which is like, where actual Disney employees live, like the, you know,

the, the people that Disney pays like zero dollars to get. yelled at all day and get sick and, you know, treat like shit at the park. And I've had friends with, like, parents who have worked there. And it is like, you know, just, it's not, like, fun for them to work at Disney World. So it's so amazing that Disney's like, actually, we can pay these people even less if we get someone who just loves Disney. You know, we'll get, like, a psycho. a fan yeah it's just sick that's so sick of Disney okay like I've been rewatching all these I don't have no interest in amusement parks or going to them but I love watching YouTube videos about them and I've been watching these histories of like Disney rides and different like attractions in Florida or whatever and essentially Disney just kind of like went up and bought up a bunch of land and we're like we're going to open this family fun destination

for the U.S. And they've just been conquering land up in Florida and making a monopoly on that entire area and developing that land for so long. There's no hope for anyone that's going to live within that area, let alone people who want to work for them too and then spend their free time there. Get a grip. Get a go to an asylum. I'm like these people like taking out loans to take.

take a vacation and being like, I'll go to Disneyland. It's so funny to me. It's fucking insane. I mean, I would go, I would like go into credit card debt for like, if I had to go into credit card debt, like last place, I would go. It's so fucking, it seems so miserable to me. Being around families and kids and. Yeah.

You just walk around this rides, we have to wait. Like, I don't know. It seems completely horrible. I'm losing my fucking voice. Real time. Working here, you're losing your voice. been. Please don't be haunted by the virus.

I would be, I'm gonna, I know that you're gonna take this the wrong way, but I, I think if you get haunted virus, I'm gonna be so mad at you. Well, I don't have hauntavirus. Honestly, it's like allergies. Anyways, we don't need to talk about it. Wolf had her own experience of giving too much money to Mickey Mouse. 20 years ago when she was in her mid-20s living on Staten Island and working as a nonprofit grant writer in Manhattan, she was feeling jaded and started medicating with Disney,

as she put it. During her daily commute on the Staten Island Ferry, she would read Disney guidebooks and think about her next visit. Girl, just smoke crack. I know. Literally just smoke crack. Well, this is a bit revealing this next part. This is what I lived for, she said. Disney World was the opposite of New York City. It was clean. It was sanitized. There were no surprises except good surprises. She took more than 10 Disney trips in five years and went into $17,000 into debt. I needed to go to a space where I wouldn't have to think and I was willing to pay for that. Girl, like, literally just do heroin at that point. No, I know.

Just do heroin, do oxy, something. It's cheaper probably. I just don't. I feel like you have to be really beaten down growing up. you have to be a really meek person to become a Disney adult because you're ready to take that level of submission from a company and not even a person. Like you can't even get in a bad relationship instead. You just want to get in a fucking brand identity with Disney. I have a Disney tattoo.

What is your Disney tattoo? It's on my asshole. It's goofy. That's on the back of my leg. It's a Mickey Mouse ghost that I saw. I had a VHS growing up and it had that on the back of the VHS and I showed it to the tattoo artist and said that's what I want. And it was stupid. But look, I mean, it's not like the worst looking tattoo.

Can you see it? Yeah. You see it, has some? It's not the worst. It's a ghost Mickey Mouse. It's just retarded that I have. Ashley says, I literally will have something Disney on every day. She was wearing a Disney shirt, a Disney watchband, and a Disney necklace.

It's part of my personality. At night, she pulls up music that plays in Disney Resort Hotel Rooms on YouTube and listens to it as she falls asleep. Ashley is about to graduate, and she's planning a move to Florida this summer, partly for the warmth, but mainly to be closer to Disney World. She wants another job with the company and hopes that her past trips will set her apart from other applicants. They're treating it like college, having a shitty job at Disney. You could not waterboard disinformation out of me if I was one of these people. It's insane. So humiliating.

Well, do you remember the story about how the guy from New Iberia that I knew that got in to work at Disney World as the Mad Hatter and his experience of going through that? This guy was off a little crazy already, gay guy who wanted to be the Mad Hatter. He was a super Disney adult. He got the job. He got the job. Move to Florida. and on off about him he already just had something a little off about him and he was gay and i don't think maybe his family was as as reciprocal about him being gay i don't i don't remember exactly

what happened but basically to get into character on his first day of being the mad hatter his first real day of working at disney his logic was he had never tried acid before in his life but taking 10 hits on his first day at Disney would really help him get into the character. So he just has BPD and he's like, I'm going to sabotage. His mind is like, let's sabotage everything we're doing. So first day of being, working at Disney and he takes 10 hits of acid dressed up as the Mad Hatter.

10 hits is life. That's a life-ruining amount of acid. That's insane. Absolutely. He didn't know better. He had never done it before. And he was just like. He didn't look it up.

He didn't look into it. He didn't ask anyone. He just thought. He just did. I don't believe it. From home to like, what do you mean you don't believe it? I think he knew that what I think he knew it would be bad probably, but didn't understand how bad it would be.

I obviously don't think he understood how bad it would be. He ended up leaving the Disney property and walking to a nearby, um, uh, like neighborhood suburb. And he found a giant garden in front of the. the neighborhood and he started just ripping out every, every flower. And he was saying, I'm doing this for the queen, for the red queen. Okay, so I don't believe this guy, actually. I don't think this happened now that I mean.

What do you mean? This is a story this guy made up for attention, for sure. This guy, a million percent, a million percent. This guy lives in shame and humility and came back a different person. I guarantee you, this is not a fake story. And this is not a story that he admitted. People from this region in Louisiana are all fucking insane. This is not only have I heard.

I not only have I heard this story afterwards from the guy, but it was all our mutual friend, so we all knew it. But he ended up getting arrested, coming down on acid for a day or two in the drunk tank of a Florida or whatever. He moved back to Louisiana, and he was like almost within days. He got all this stuff, moved back. His parents were trying to get him back. back to, or his mom was trying to get him back normal, gave him a target gift card and he bought

a ton or a Walmart gift or something. He bought a shit ton of normal objects and he bought nails and that makes sense. A mom who sees something like that happen, her fixes a Walmart gift card. That does. I do believe that. That does make sense. Okay. So produces this kind of gay guy. But see, this is like a story that a high school theater gay kid would make up telling and tell kids like when they get back to school after summer vacation. Like, I did 10 hits of acid and I thought I was the mad hatter. Because he's too embarrassed to admit that he was just fired for being bad. Yeah, or that he just didn't do anything.

His mug shot the jail, him having to move back. I mean, this was his dream. He would have, he, he really, really truly thought that it was going to be a simple procedure of taking the acid and then becoming the character. But he obviously way over did it. Anyway, he has got the gift card and bought a bunch of normal things, a nail and a hammer. And his mom thought he might be doing better. And then he had nailed every single object he bought from Walmart to his wall above his bed. And she was like, oh, well, he had nailed a brand new pair of shoes, clothes, food, random objects all to the wall.

Okay. He's normal now. mean as normal as you could get. He's fine now, but that's why you don't become a Disney adult right out after college. He seems like an icon. I love him. Yeah, if that's true, that's like, even if it's not true, that's a funny story to make up. It's almost funnier if it's a lie. Yeah, yeah. It's sadder if it's a lie. It's not a lie, though. I've seen

mugshot. This guy, this guy went through this shit. Jennifer Davidson, a woman in Columbus, Ohio, describes herself as a mild Disney adult because she doesn't have a merchandise collection. Despite this, Davidson has visited Disney World more than a hundred times in the 39 years she's been alive. When my husband- She's trying to be like, I'm not as fucked up as these other bitches, but it seems like you are. Yeah, exactly. Don't throw your comrades under the bus like that, Diva. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Like, I, I mean, these people are crazy, right? She's like. Right. I only go four times a year. Yeah. When my husband met my parents, we were,

in Disney World, she recalled. When he asked my father to marry me, we were in Disney World. Davidson, who now has two young daughters, is a high school teacher. She also teaches at two community colleges, which her husband calls her side hustle for Disney trips. But even with Davidson working those extra gigs, the family currently has more than $3,000 worth of credit card debt after booking their next trip to Disneyland, which is scheduled in August. We only have so many years when they still want to be princesses and they believe in the magic Davidson said of her daughters. You capture that moment while you have it and we can manage that debt right now. I mean, this is like another thing of like this, like the only true way for your kids to have fun

is to spend a million dollars on. They can only have the fund that they've been licensed to have through Disney properties. Hello. Join by special guest host of the famous political conference. commentary California podcast, The Drain. We got the piss that goes down the drain. Max himself and he's muted himself. He's trying to talk.

He muted yourself already. He doesn't know how to podcast anymore. He forgot out of a podcast. He's muted. He learned for the past. Welcome. California politics. Are we back now?

So we're talking about Disney adults and the debt they incurred and the lives they develop. I have haunted virus. Yeah, Ben has a hontavirus. That's so fucking. cool. You're ahead of the curve, dude. That's awesome. I know. When these bitches zig, I zag, you know. Hey, and Max, if you want to

link up with him, he's really close to you, you could go straight from straight from Sacramento to onto city. Well, I got to get the fuck out of here. I have got to get the fuck out of here. Are you leaving ever? When are you leaving? I'm leaving next week. You sound like a smoker.

You sound like Aunt Debbie. On Debbie's back. Hey, Max, And Debbie died. No. She's dead. Yes. Yeah.

That's really important. Did your face get smaller? Did the frame of your glasses get bigger? The frame of my glasses got bigger. I broke the ones that I used to have. I sat on them and I had to buy new ones. Oh, hell yeah. Wow.

Tail is oldest time. Who here has not sat on their glasses before? Let's be honest. I have. Well, I don't wear glasses. I have. I did like a few days ago, honestly. Yeah.

Yeah. See? I don't wear mine often, though, because they make me, look even more lesbian. I need to get a new pair of them. I forget that you wear them. It's kind of shocking. Yeah, I hate wearing wine because they make my eyes look massive.

You have Coke bottle eyeglasses. Yeah. It's like two magnified glass. Makes you look like you're like one first place in the science fair. I know, exactly. I want to wear a Bihanna-Woo cat eye glasses. I think those would make me look really nice. Oh, you've got to wake those up, do that.

Please, please. Tell us your thoughts on the Disney adults and the lifestyle they live. Because I feel like you might have an inside view in California. Yeah, yeah. I mean, honestly, there is a containment zone in California for these freaks, and it is the traverse range, right? It's the mountain ranges that go like just over, L.A., Anaheim, that sort of area. They don't go north of that.

They're not allowed. They shoot on site. The Highway Patrol has been commanded by Gavin Newsom to shoot Disney adults on site if they ever go north of Bakersfield. So I don't have to worry about it. But I do have to say, right, these, like, Disney adults and Disney, Disney homos in general, have you guys gotten those, like, Disney, like, cruising on Disney cruises, TikToks or Reels? No. That God.

Oh, Jesus. Those are so fucking good. And it's always like, it's always like two bears that are fighting Ozempic to the Yeah. Losing and losing. They're winning. as Empec is losing. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Exactly. So Novo Nordisk versus two fat faggots. And the fat faggots are winning, y'all. And they're talking about how like, yeah, this is how you get over painting on trade in the Disney crews. And this is how to ask for towels for, you know, after you're done, you know, painting a Rothko on some sniffy's victim. No, I have seen those actually because they're like, they're like, uh, now Disney, because there are like swingers who take the Disney crews. Yes.

Disney is like, it's frowned upon, of course. Yes. So they always have to like change their secret signals that they use. It's like, oh, if there's an upside down flamingo on your sticker on your door, like that means that like you can't do that anymore because Disney, the staff caught on. They're ugly freaks fucking in there having a sex party. As far as I saw the TikToks, they got Disney cruises with the pineapple, pineapple, pineapple upside down. And it literally says, we're open underneath the pineapple.

I'm like, you people are sick to do this on a family environment. I don't want to. It's uncomfortable. Who's going to hear that? Is there a penthouse? Is there a penthouse version of the sweets? There is a nice suite on the Disney. neat crews, I know.

Jock is using his mom's MacBook computer and he also just bought a laptop. Jock, I'll believe this number, but he bought a laptop for $1.00. I believe that. I believe that. Jock had a trick out. A tricked out MacBook Pro when we started the podcast, right? Do you remember,

Jack? What happened to it? How long did it last? Should we learn that? Yeah, I think the first one lasted for like five or six years. I broke the screen. So insane. I broke the screen on that. No, it's probably seven years. It lasted. And then I tried to take a selfie and I was too fat. I broke the screen. No, okay, listen, listen. Tommy came out of the screen. So my gun. Really quick timeline. I probably broke the screen

once in the first three years and then twice in the next four years. And that sent me back a lot. Then I had to buy a whole I broke the screen too many times till it was irreplaceable. The one that's currently broke. So then I got a new computer and then How long have you had your new computer that you have right now?

It's the exact same model as the first one I had. Three years maybe and I ran that baby into the ground. We don't know if it's a motherboard that I burnt it out. It's a capacitor. It was a mother shit, dude. It was the mother shit and the mother's point.

I took a mother of a shit on that thing. You know what I'm talking about? Amen, sister. But I tried not to fuck this computer up. I tried so hard. And you know what? It got me nothing. God, Ben is literally about to faint on camera.

Yeah, period. Okay, guys, I actually, Megala. Max, I'm glad you're here because I found another very fun article here. This one's shorter, but it's very very. There's a twist in it that I think you're going to go. Okay. Okay. The home wrecker lawsuits rocking North Carolina.

Hell, yes. A few states still allow a spouse to sue a homewrecker for breaking the marriage. Okay. In October 24, Heather Amel found a message from another woman on her husband's phone. I miss you, putting my hand on your heart. I'll see you soon, it said. Why the fuck is, is little Caesar's texting my husband's phone? husband, I miss you.

Why is trade? Is this a trade? Who's trade? Why is Lomino's pizza trade? To DMing my husband. We need answers. We need answers. Why's Puerto Rican, too?

texting my husband. Ammel decided to write back, Are you having an affair with my husband? She texted from her spouse's phone. You took a married man away from his family. Then Amel took a surprising step. She sued not her cheating husband, but the woman who was having a romantic relationship with him. That was Kristen Cinema, the former U.S. Senator from Arizona.

Oh. Kristen Cinema? Her name is Kristen Cinema? Oh, you know who she is, Jock. Famous bisexual, Polly representative from Arizona. No, I have never. Her real name is Kristen Sinema. She's from the cinema.

Okay. Hell yes. Amel's husband, Matthew. Amel was employed as a security guard for cinema at the time. North Carolina, where the Amel's lift, is just one of a handful of states with a homewrecker law that allows a jilted spouse to sue a third party for damages for marital breakup. Okay, so, like, what do we, what do we think of this law? Is that...

I think it's awesome. I know, Jacques. That is like, it's actually... You and Kristen Cinema would have explosive chemistry. That's like if you ask an AI to make the perfect Jacques woman. That is exactly. It's so funny how she's both old, blonde, and exactly my type of kind of... This is the... I love divorcees or...

Yes. Or like 40-year-old women like this. You know, 50-old women like this. You should try to slide into her DMs. Yeah, no, that would... She would love you, I think. And she would make you evil. She would turn you so evil.

1,000. Was Kristen Cinema the one... Actually, no. I think this is different. Extreme thumbs down during the... No, I was thinking of another lawmaker. I think this might have been a local one. You guys probably don't know this,

but in California, a couple of years ago, some lady assembly woman got in huge trouble because her bodyguard or her driver or something called her out on sexual assault. And apparently the story was that she would force him to eat her pussy in the car. And the complaint was that he threw his back out eating her pussy while she was driving.

Like on the campaign trail. So, yeah, no, probably not. I don't think this is a cinema joint. I don't think she enjoys oral so much, or at least not in motion. Chris loves it. She loves it. So wait, she's the one that did that.

No, no, no. Chris in cinema did something else. I think she just... She's the homewrecker. Ma'am, I have to keep my eyes on the road. This is a very day. We're going 80 miles an hour. Get down there now.

Get that. thing to squirting, son. Damn, her Wikipedia page is really long. She must be interesting. My wiper fluids full. I'm trying to get it. About the inside. The inside wipers.

Oh, that's so good. In the 14-page complained against Krista Cinema, Heather Amel accused the former Senator of intentionally seducing her husband and having a sexual affair with him, despite knowing that he was married with three children. Antel claimed that Cinema sent her husband romantic and lavishish messages

and sexually suggestive photos, including one where she was wrapped in a towel, on the encrypted messaging app signal. The complaint also alleged that cinema had Matthew Amel accompany her on trips to Napa Valley and New York, and that she lavished him with gifts, paid for psychedelic treatment, and encouraged him to bring MDMA or ecstasy on a work trip

so she could, quote, guide him through a psychedelic experience. Oh, no, stop guiding people through psychedelic experiences, people. If you're listening and you're guiding people through psychedelic experiences, stop and go ahead and go to a library or a church or a park. Yes. You choose. Defendant expressed to Mr. Ammel, she keeps waking up during her sleep and reaching over for his arms to hold her. That's so that's crazy cinema. Yo, stop.

Like, yo man, left you. Let it go. In her declaration of the case, cinema admitted to the affair, but disputed many of the. specific claims, including that she sent a photo of herself wearing a towel. She also said she had no recollection of encouraging him to bring ecstasy on a trip. Cinema has laid out her defense. Sorry. No, bringing ecstasy on a legislative trip is something else, man.

It's something else, man. It's really so, like, it's one hair away from the Disney adult thing. Who's that Toronto mayor that died that you swam? Craig? Rob Ford. I would have been a great Rob Ford. Olivia Gondack said I was going to eat her pussy. That couldn't be further from the truth.

I have more than enough to eat at home. I got more than enough to eat at home. Yeah. No coolest quote ever. What a coolest quote of all time, dude. I love him. Honestly, damn, that makes me so hungry for a sandwich from the fridge. Olivia Gondack, you bitch.

Yeah, fucking Gondack. Stop, stop eating so much pussy. The opposite of the allegations is true, in her declaration for the case. I had no knowledge of the time. At the time, I initiated any communications with Mr. Amel that he was located in North Carolina

at the time. So she's a, the, defense that she's leaning on is I didn't know where he lived. So, how could I have known about this law that I was violating? It's amazing.

But yeah, that is going on in the world. I, had no idea that Kristen Cinemo was going to go was currently in court for sucking and fucking a man another fake the fake bisexual strikes again

right don't take me to court for wrecking your home take it take it out of court have you ever done a home wrecking jock I think we've talked about it but yeah not a not really a not really not not really like a family

mm-hmm I really haven't broken up a family. Have you had sex with a woman who has a family or a man who has a family without them finding out? Yeah, that's a given. That's a given. Of course. Well, there, worm wasn't in a, it wasn't like she was cheating on.

She was merely a single mother. Okay. She was merely a single mother, but, but I, yeah, there was some women and men, but not, I kind of got, I think probably by 25 or 26, I was kind of a. annoyed by, uh, extramarital affair type beats. I've done that before. I felt bad. I felt bad.

I felt bad. And then it, and then it happened to one of my friends. And I thought, oh, that sucks. I don't want to be that the person to, you don't want to be. I mean, if you could do it discreetly, who's going to know? But, okay, period. I, but I'm not pro. I'm not pro cheating at all.

But I'm like just, you know, what's, you're pro not getting caught cheating. Right. Well, I mean, but yeah, I mean, if you're, if, yeah,

I mean, right, I mean, if you're going to do it, don't get caught. Yeah. Yeah, that's,

that's what I'm, so if you're going to have an extra marital affair. Do you have any tips for people who would try to have an extra marital affair? Respect their husband. Okay. I don't know.

Enough to, enough to not have sex in the same house that he's sleeping in. Okay, so don't do it in the house. You got to go. Give respect to get respect. Don't have sex in an area that the neighbor can see and then go tell the husband. What should you save the contact number as in your phone?

Um, grandma. Because you don't call your grand. Why is grandma saying that she wants to taste that pussy asap? Why is your grandma? Oh my God. I'm so sorry. My grandmother has the worst case of dementia Alzheimer's. She gets me.

and her sex All time. She gives the all time dome to me. She forgot her gag reflex, dude. It's awesome. Oh my God. You're funny. You give me a laugh.

You're having a laugh, lad. Funny business. I'm the one gagging. Not her. Did anyone hear about the Meggala? It happened. Oh, the Metropolitan Galavan? It was dumb.

And the worst outfit that was that idiot lesbian from American horror story who's always annoying. Not the Hapa from Heated Rivalry? Well, they were annoying, but we're not even going to waste our time on faggots wearing. The fake Latino from Heeded rivalry. Wait, wait, why does everyone hate him? I'm not really, I just always see people on Twitter like gay guys telling him to kill himself. Because they're jealous. They're simply jealous. Is he straight?

Is that why? Is he straight? No, he's like, he's gay. He's been gay for a while. I think it's just that. The waysian one? The wazian one. They're both gay?

I think so. I think they are. I've never seen that much sheer, sheer cloth. But I think they're ours. I feel bad for them if they aren't gay. Wait, who? I was trying to figure out what. Hudson,

Hudson, whatever. The wazian one. Yeah, the Latino bater. Oh, that's why. Not Connor story. We're talking about, um. Not the Aryan one. The, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, man.

Sorry, y'all. I'm getting ready for my next governor, Tom Steyer, who's going to enact the new progressive Reich. Hudson Williams' glam team member defends his makeup. Taking a risk always comes with a cost. Oh, my God. I'm going to be honest. Actually, I thought the other heated gallery guy,

heated rivalry, the other heated rivalry guy looked a lot worse than, I honestly like this look retarded, but I just don't get to hate because I'm just like, who fucking cares? It was inspired by Black Swan. I also love that like the people showing up like, because what was the theme? Like fashion is art or something, which is so fucking. Something so stupid, a cop out theme. Reminds me of a thing that Amber says to me, my friend Amber says to me all the time is a joke, which is fashion, the art of clothes.

It's really like, wow, they stole that. They made that the theme. But the, like, people who, like, show up with dresses that are prints of, like, like, a print of a painting. And it's like, oh, if you know, you know, this one's for the real head. It's just, like, fully, like, Halloween for celebrities. It's, like, totally, they're just wearing costumes. Yeah, like, Bad Bunny and Heidi Klum. Dressed as an old man.

He had, like, old makeup to look completely, like, an older man, like, special effects makeup. He looks, but still, still would. And he looks hot. No, baby. All trick, no tree. Well, the worst costume was Sarah Paulson and some fugly dress that I don't even care to describe. With a dollar bill over her eyes because she's trying to express how the bitch. I mean, I actually kind of am obsessed with her because she's so corny.

I know. She's so corny like that. And she's the same stupid bitch to go to a Bezos and Chris Jenner, Chris Jenner's birthday party at Bezos's house. Like, get a fucking grip. stop acting like you aren't part of the problem. And you stop acting all woke mafia. So, Jock, if you were invited to the Mek Gala, you wouldn't go because Jeff Bezos was sponsoring it? You would abstain?

That's not what I said. If you got an invite to the Mek Gala, would you go? Absa fucking Lutely. Come on. That would be-wear this year. Fashion is art. Fashion is art. And I have-

Telfar online ceramics, some Los Angeles apparel. He wear his own clothes. No, no. I would, I think I would honestly wear a 36 by 36 canvas that I painted on. And then I would. 36 by 36. 36 size by 36. It has to be enough to cover my entire body.

I mean, I want to literally be the painting. I just want to be a double-sided painting. You should just go in body paint, nude in body paint. I think you should just go fully nude. That's disgusting. Nothing else. I should go as the Rafter the Medusa, the big-ass painting. You guys know that?

Yeah. It's this paint, like 1840s painting of a shipwrecked. Literally, like, the people on the raptor eating each other and reading each other to like it. That'd be really cool. I would actually love that, Jack. Wait, let me see. Oh, my. Oh, that's a very explicit painting.

I mean, my ultimate MetGala idea, which I, think is still so flawless is you go naked wearing a real crown of thorns dragging a giant cross I mean that's going to generate controversy you know what I mean yeah what if Jesus had a gut

what if Jesus had a hairy belly yeah yeah okay alternatively I would have a worn out pair of gene overalls with nothing underneath them yes and my hair crazy like this. Any shoes?

And, um, no. And a big pitch fork and a piece of hay sticking out of the metal. And you know those red, those red, um, what do you call those things that you pull behind you? A wagon, a cart? A ribbon? Yeah, a cart, but it's like for kids and it's like, oh, yeah, yeah. The whole time I'm being pulled around by an assistant in a little red wagon like this, sitting like this the whole time. And they have to pull that red wagon. up each every step and it barely it's an old one so it barely seems like it's gonna make it

and it's making all this noise as I go up the steps and everyone's moving out of the way and they're like why do we allow this? You're getting pulled by the trumpet prick who brought on like what was it? I played with Steely Dan and I brought on it. Oh yes, the little short thing. Yeah, he's yeah.

I brought I walked Bob Dylan up to stage in 1979 and you know nothing about music. You know nothing about music. I pulled Jack Gonsolin onto the Met Gallus stairs. I pulled him up every staff. You know nothing about fashion. You don't even know how hard it was. He weighed 7 million pounds.

It was, I felt like Sisyphus. I never thought I would go. Final question, Jock. If you had to come up with the theme for the Mac Gala, what would it be? Oh, that's really interesting. And you can't say Jacques Gonson. That doesn't count as a theme. I'm not, okay, first of all, fuck you.

That's not what I would say is my theme. Second, I think the theme I would go for is circus is what I came first to, and then 70s. The circus of the 70s is a great thing, actually. Circus of Carnival of Souls, and it's a... Whoa. Perfect, dude. Carnival of Soul. And so then you can, you get, like, people dressed as, like...

Great movie, too. Yeah, I mean, an amazing movie. You're probably the weird remake that is, like, terrible. Also, a really good theme would honestly just be horror. It'd be just nice to see a lot of violent. Everybody already dressed like a whore on there, buddy. The horror and it's both the horror, the horror. And it's W-H-O-R-R-O-R-R-R.

close. I think honestly, if there was a way, I don't know how to describe this, but if there was a way to make the Met Gala theme, the style of David Le Chappelle's 90s photography as a theme. Gregoraki is a theme, like Gregoracki movie style. Jallo, Italian Jallo theme.

And everyone is, the lighting is all like primary colors. Yes. That could be pretty hot. Yes, everybody is wearing bell bottoms. Everybody has pubic crabs. I like it. Also prom theme, and everyone dresses like their prom versions of themselves. And they remake their prom dresses from when they were younger.

And they get makeup to add. Enchantment under the sea. How about a hat gala and its only straight people are allowed to go? Yes, period. Here's a theme for you. New Orleans. Early 1900s. Sounds offensive.

I mean, it certainly would be. Absolutely. Paula Dean is the host of the Met Gala this year. That's fucking good. I think we could really do something with the Met Gala. I was really annoyed. I saw this thing that was like, they're celebrating workers.

There's a Met Gala for the workers. I'm like, doesn't that defeat the point? I don't know. I mean, it seemed a good, I guess. I mean, if I was working at the Met Gala, and they were like, we have another gala just for you. I would be like, no, thank you. I'd rather get paid more.

How long ago was it that AOC wore that eat the rich dress to the Met Gala? It was a lot of two or three years ago. Either a year ago or ten years ago. She looked like such a clown. Yeah. Our correspondent got it pretty good in one. Unfortunately, he deleted the video, but I'm sure you can find it on whatever old.

Oh, yeah. Griff Griff was not happy about the taxed rich. RIP. And he was right. RAP. He's still alive. I forgot about him. He's still alive, although I don't really see his videos on my feet anymore.

So maybe he's dead. He's been shadow pan. He may succumb to his injuries from the hate crime. I don't know. Let's hope not. So I have the hanta virus. I'm on this cruise trip in Newark. Y'all.

In Vegas. Honestly. Yeah. You think about let's, I just thought about something really important. Imagine how differently they would have been treating this fucking haunt of virus if it had been a Disney cruise. I think they'd treat it the same. Disney privilege. Let's call these people out for their privilege.

What do you mean? Their abuse of power. I don't know. The cruise that that has the hauntavirus outbreak. Like, have you seen the tickets for it? It's like $20,000 for a ticket on that. Oh, whoa, really. Wow.

Why? Because it's fucking for old-ass people who want to take a, cruise around the world. Do you know anything about the patient zero about this? I did a little research while I was doing it. Yeah, you tell tell us because I kind of queero we were saying earlier. It was some Dutch guy who'd been

backpacking with his old ass wife all over, you know, South America and like got to, like apparently got through Chile, Bolivia, Paraguay and then ended up in Argentina. And that's where they got the hanta virus from. They got on the boat

in Argentina. They crossed the Atlantic. sex-crimining my way through South America with my old-ass wife. With my beautiful old-ass, yeah, wife that also paid into our pension plan and was able to afford to come with. But anyway, yeah, they get to like halfway through the Atlantic Ocean and they realize like, oh, fuck, this one motherfucker is dying. This older motherfucker is also, you know, about to give up the ghost. And they get close to the Canary Island and like the local government's like, we don't want to. anything to do with this motherfucker. Of course, our hero, our hero, Pedro

Sanchez, the woke prime minister of Spain was like, we have a duty to uphold this, that the other. And so now they're all chilling, but it was... Now they're all Chilean. Now they're all Chile. Oh, period. Wake that up.

But yeah, like, it was it's one of those, like, luxury super cruises that takes you around the world with a bunch of Filipino semen. Right. It's like poor things. Yeah, it's like poor things or like, what was that Triangle of Sadness

Cuba Gooding Jr. movie where he accidentally goes We should watch that one Hesse, the Cuba Gooding Jr. movie where he accidentally signs up for a gay cruise boat trip. Oh my God. I would rather die.

I would rather I would rather As I'll pay you money outside of it. It's a 2002 movie. You are in debt from you getting a new laptop that costs a I don't care. I'll go into further

debt because this looks like a good movie. Everybody on the cruise, by the way. Everybody on the cruise has put that motherfucker on Clarnah. Okay, that shit is not getting paid off. They're going straight to collections when they get home. They just need to... Well, y'all, do you think they have to even...

They do. They do. Wouldn't it be awesome if one of them, like, got sunk by the IRGC? No, I know. Take it to the straight of her was like a get blown up by an Iranian sea mine. Exactly. Yeah. Tell them they're taking like emirati gold to the Chinese or something. And then, you know, that'll be two, two problems, two birds with one stone.

We should wrap up. Yeah. I'm like gonna die. Oh, my God. Jerry and Nick are two close friends whose lives have hit Rock Bottom. That's the beginning. Bye, everyone. Wait, I love y'all.

Listen up here for a minute. Yay, very fun. Y-A-Y, very fun at gmail.com. That's the email to book me. Book me. Book me. yes Jacques is coming to to Grass Valley for a wedding

yes and I'm DJing a wedding like he's gonna be within spitting distance of me and I'll be I'm fucking pissed this asshole always does this shit I'm going to Al Salvador to go to Seacott they're sending me on all expenses paid yes Bain Buckela are going to

we're going to rub bald spots and then you know he's going to make me president it's going to be awesome period okay well thanks for joining us you later. Next love you. Bye.

I get the carnival, and ishirt the chistice that always you tell those, my, is to learn to get to

rachar,