Seeking Derangements - SD 5: A New Deranged Era feat. Kath Krueger

Episode Date: April 6, 2020

intro /// Batteaux - Tell Her She's Lovely We got Kath Krueger on the pod to talk to us about white women, snakes in the Democratic grass, Nicaraguans, and about how Mexicans are the most racist country in latin america. Big love! outro /// Karen Smith - Pillow Talk =============================== ben - twitter.com/bitch_updates palma - twitter.com/PALMAUNLlMITED patreon - patreon.com/seekingderangements

Tell Her She knows how to suffer, yeah, yeah People wanna think that they're the only ones who really are alone People wanna think that they're the only ones who really are alone People are so beautiful in love People are so wonderful to love People wanna think that they're the only ones who really are alone They really are alone Thinking a little bit over Trying to know one another

Waiting a little bit longer Thinking a little bit Oh, oh, oh, yeah, yeah Tell her Love is a song Yeah, yeah Sing out, sing out All night long

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Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Yes, yes yes queen of queen of brooklyn has has popped in wow uh and graced us with her presence kath how are you ben you're laughing you're laughing like that's not much of a distinction oh just just the queen of brooklyn look at your your queendom for god's sake yeah yeah Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Of course.

I'm doing what I can, as we all are. Yeah. Yeah. Every single podcast has to tie 10%. I mean, that alone. It's true. It's true. But, yeah, I was particularly looking forward to this. So good to be here with my-

We're very happy to have you, Kath. With two of my favorite online harassers. Oh my god, yes. Yes. We may have to beep every mention of your name because I don't know if you saw this, but calling white women by their first name is now a slur. There's this woman. No, I miss this.

What happened? How has the universe shifted? I've been mostly offline this weekend, which has been nice. Yeah. That sounds lovely. Wish I'd done that. I know. I actually went outside today.

Really weird. Yeah. How was it outside where you are? Are there a lot of people out? No. It was nice enough i like did a little grocery delivery for an old person it was very cute oh that's nice yeah um then we got we got really tired from walking and started complaining so you know we're all gonna be so atrophied at

the end of this truly truly any muscles we're all gonna walk around like hillary on 9-11 when she fainted at that 9-11 memorial i feel like i'm gonna be wobbling like that as soon as i get out we're gonna run out of children to steal a dynachrome from it needs something post-war um but you missed uh this this psychotic woman named julie bindle which is such a fake name. I'm so sorry. Isn't that a white woman? Yeah, yeah.

It's a white woman. And she tweeted, does anyone else think the Karen slur is woman-hating and based on class prejudice? Yes. What the fuck? So amazing. Clearly, she's just like, she said like one too many stupid uh like liberal feminist things on twitter people have started calling her you know like a karen or whatever i mean my answer to that is yes of course it's it's yeah of course it's misogynist and so what what's the

fucking problem yeah it's also racist we like you suck because you're like a honky yeah like to me that's to me that's like having someone in your mentions like explaining the joke it's like oh so you you got it uh congratulations yeah also like i rarely see karen i thought like becky was the the hotness about like you know you're a dumb white bitch well i i found that it's uh it's it's uh like generational right like gen x is is is uh well millennials are are mostly karens uh and so are gen x but uh gen z is is becky and a little part of uh oh interesting so maybe there's a it's ageist also yeah i'm sure like gen z will probably find some stupid fucking name to to you know make it be like ava or something you know or kaylin with two n's ray ray good

but it's spelled with a y somehow yeah it. It's like McCartley or whatever. Yeah. One time. Reagan used to be an annoying white girl on Twitter. Yeah. Reagan's a horrible one. Oh, God. I used to wait tables at this restaurant, which was like a hub for white women because

it was like- Of course. One of those places- It's so important for white women to have cultural centers. Yeah. Absolutely. It was like a $16 Ava crunch. places it's so important for white women to have cultural centers yeah absolutely it was $16 like avocado toast they had like you know they exposed like brick wall and like the succulent just like that really exhausting like millennial um aesthetic but there's this girl

there who she had just started working and i was making fun of this table i had um because one of them was literally named mccartley and i like walked over her and i was like jesus christ i was like i was like can you believe this this is this girl's first day that i was talking to i didn't know her name and i was like this girl's name is mccartley like what the hell is going on with these people and um it turned out that that girl i was talking to her name was creighton oh my god oh my god i was like no like creighton's actually a really interesting name you know like mccartney is just like whatever but like creighton that's like beautiful name wow that was so nice of you actually mccartney is um a way better name than creighton creighton is like creighton is like you were in so much pain from the meds that like you you kind of like smashed up like clayton the only name you

had picked out for a boy and like you saw a creighton barrel catalog like slipped under your door or something it's just god it's like you're really you're you're going to make your daughter such a piece of shit if that's what you're naming naming she is she is going to like uh be one of those girls that uh like has it has a double-digit body count by the time she gets to you know sophomore year of college slay queen yeah we'll go off that that's cool i mean she's just gonna body body count only from like uh hit and run drunk driving oh god yeah or like she's gonna have a an only fans with him the time she has like uh by the time she's uh 25 it's gonna have like three dollars uh every month yeah oh man that is that is brutal i hadn't even considered that

um because i i like to look at like like low hanging fruit patreons where like people are like support my support my writing and then like if you click through and i guess there's like now an option or i don't know how recent is where you can like not display the money you're making a month yes but like sometimes i'll click through and it'll be like 50 bucks or something and i'm like oh that is brutal just just put your Venmo up on your bio you're probably more that way I know just like yeah get your cash app out it's yeah yeah of course you know I don't like to be the first one at a party so I'm not going to support them either I remember like this is the one

newspaper this is the first newspaper article that i like remember and it's the one that i remember the most clearly uh right after the one about uh that's whining about let's get retarded getting changed uh and the washington was this was this pre or post 9-11 this was uh i was about 60 years old so this was post this would have been post 9-11 but it But it's about this... 9-11 changed so much, we couldn't laugh at the same things anymore. Of course. Wow. Of course.

No, that was a Wall Street Journal article from 2005 or 2004 where they were talking about how at the DNC at the time, they had Let's Get Started. And the writer was just complaining, like, oh, i remember like this used to be let's get retarded like and and like how are these pc people like so uh like conceited that they would change the pop songs made they're ruining our great arch they're ruining black eyed peas hits that song was amazing though that song was that song was so ahead of its time so good it

was it was such a hype anthem And frankly it sucks that It does suck that the PC police Got their filthy hands all over it Anyway Let's get neurodivergent They should have changed it too Let's get silly

Let's get silly Goofy time That's another track that Slaps Let's get silly But that'sy time. Oh, that's another track that slaps. Let's get silly. But that's for another story. That's for another time. But yeah, unfortunately, we can't say Karen anymore. It really sucks.

Calling that a slur is so insane. So what does that mean? If we type Karen, are we supposed to do an asterisk where the A should be or something? Yeah. K asterisk grin is how you have to say it. We are truly living through some of the darkest days online. Every day I log on and not only do I feel bad about the news,

which is obviously what everyone feels and very liberal but also i just feel bad about like our culture is just reaching this this low point like just hurtling like a rocket ship toward the the the surface of the planet it's very dark out there yeah just yeah absolutely well yeah i had my very dark day online a couple years ago when molly klein uh red kahina blocked me, which is a massive. Oh no. Cause I really miss this.

But you do. I don't remember what I did. I think I commented on, on her, uh, her selfie that you posted where she has like her visage. I, I,

I was at the one with the bird. Yes. Yeah. She looks like, she's like the woman in the window or like, you know, Jane, the Jane airs, uh, the birds down the house, Yeah She looks like The woman in the window Or like you know Jane Jane Eyre's The woman who burns Down the house

Which is Probably the dog Which is really sad Because they wanted to Get into her good graces And like you know Find a way to Get some of that

Playboy money Well it conned her Into letting me Burglarize her house First of all Of her apartment Her like rent controlled Apartment in fucking

Washington Heights Or whatever That she lived in I think it's Is it in i think it's in brooklyn i could be wrong i would not be who is who is this person she's oh man you're you're in for a treat oh my god oh my god crazy what is her name her name's molly uh she's molly yeah she's better known better known as red Kahina online. If you know. Was she like a Moira Donegan type or something? No, because she's like old and weird.

And she posts, she's like one of those, like one of the very first like kind of tanky light accounts that I ever became aware of who just tweets like, like kind of vaguely Trotskyist Like you know Screes Yeah You know you read and you're like this doesn't mean Fucking anything

Years ago already She like posted Will's like parents Home address and shit like that She's the one who Started the whole idea about like All of Choppo lives in like a park slope mansion or something and then someone someone digs like a half inch into her and it's like she's the heiress for like the playboy radio network or something literally all of these people

they're all secretly rich yeah they're all secretly wealthy it's so funny and yet they spend their time like attacking people for um know, offending their sensibilities and also being rich. Or, you know, like, she perceives them as rich. Yeah, it does. Yeah, it makes perfect sense that their parents are, like, I don't know, like, own, like, the world's biggest, like, baloney company or something. Yeah, they own the biggest straight-to-direct-to- to consumer dildo company out of like kansas or something yeah literally the biggest irony about all of this is that she probably lives in this rent control department in like washington heights or something or or brooklyn

or whatever but like she's lived in that apartment for like 25 30 years now and like it's a three bedroom apartment she lives there by herself and like you know her eight cats the rent is 25 dollars a month the rent is like 25 a month exactly like her neighbors have all like left uh you know because they got sick of the bird smell emanating from her apartment yeah she's like the original like uh like gentrifier for brooklyn she's she's somehow like a bird lady without ever going outside it definitely makes sense that this person would like keep captive a bunch of birds in their house she yeah she's clinically insane like i i love her so much but she is clinically insane well she blocked you that that's that's fucked up max yeah you remember what you said to her you didn't-owned yeah it's like you posted it and i'm simply elevating you know something you saw as fit to post i'm elevating you so important so important

yeah well you know she she probably she probably thought you were being a racist towards her just like this this karen lady you know now i have to i have to get an xbox live account so i can go on and call everyone karen discriminately you can have a heated gamer moment but you're just saying karen a bunch of times going on call people k just going on and calling people Karens. Yeah. I love that. I love that for you. Yeah, Kat. There's only one real slur and it's Fredo. Of course.

It's the only real slur. Like, faggot. I feel like faggot isn't even like a slur. It's been a while. It's like a compliment at this point. If someone calls me a faggot,

I'm like, yeah. Sure. Thank you. Thanks for noticing. Game recognized game. yeah sure thank you thanks for that game game recognized game yeah thank you i mean like the only like the worst thing you could call a gay guy is like like buddy oh like champ sport those are the or like ugly and fat yeah fat yeah that yeah that is the worst things. Or like ugly and fat. Yeah, fat. Yeah. Yeah, that is the worst thing you can call a gay guy.

Yeah. I get no. I'm getting real. Yeah. Yeah. You're canceled. You're canceled now, Kat. Yeah. Thanks.

It was only a matter of time. Max, we'll never allow another gay guy on this platform. Oh, absolutely not absolutely not only only women and straight men would it just be too would it just be too powerful uh i don't think it would get out of hand really quick it would yeah yeah we would start fighting yeah no it's like when three cats like meet each other in the street. It would be an instant screaming match and fight. Just all kind of spitting at each other. Yeah.

Yeah, we would all start talking at the same time. Everyone would be telling their own individual story, going off on their own tangent. Yeah. No one would listen to each other. It would just be an hour block of babbling. Yeah. Well, now I kind of want to hear that.

You're selling me on it i'll be an investor well we'll try to find someone go fund an even gayer pod oh my god it's like one time i was i was in this lift and this lady was my driver um this is in denver and she's like she's like you know they talk to you there which i really do kind of hate i know that sounds like bitchy but i don't i generally that's very regional in some areas like they they super do yeah they don't here in new york i mean sometimes they do and that's it's nice but like pretty rarely but yeah yeah this woman was just crazy she was like she's like yeah i'm from cincinnati and i and I'm driving to LA and I'm lifting.

She's just like a vagabond. Just like lift driving. Just say you have her way. So she's lift driving across the country? Just say you have a crosswind lady. Jesus fucking Christ. No, it's so much more depressing. She would totally just like destitute, like vagabond.

No. Like start a vagabond. Just like she's literally lifting from she's living out of her car and then like whenever she hits a major city she lifts for a couple days that is very depressing to me it's so fucking dark but she was going to la because she was going there to pitch her life story no reality as a reality no at this thing that she she's like i'm going to a storytelling conference in la and there's producers there danger danger yeah yeah she was like the producers they're just like nondescript no network named nothing she's like yeah it's full of tv reality

tv producers and all i had to do was pay uh five hundred dollars for a ticket to get in the door you're being fucking scammed and yeah just don't go to any hotel rooms lady like you're gonna be a me too story lady yeah absolutely well actually you know that could have worked for her yeah yeah actually yeah mixed returns on whether the whole going back to the hotel room thing you know at least temporarily worked for people's careers. But, you know, that's a separate issue from it being a Me Too story. I personally would make that deal with the devil. It's your own personal decision.

Well, you're rolling the dice, you know. Yeah, I'd like suck off Harvey Weinstein for a movie role. Personally, it's bad that that is even, you know, a standard. You heard it here first i'm coming to suck your dick in jail i'm on my way um i'll risk corona um but i was like what a storytelling conference i just had this vision in my head of just like okay this is just like 900 just like crazy people all in like a hotel like a hotel conference room in LA just like everyone's just telling their story

at once and no one's listening there's just like no audience no one is just everyone just off on their own shit but I asked her I was like oh that's that's so interesting yeah like wow what's your story like you know oh you dove in i would have been like that's so cool period like like hoping that i could just head it off yeah at that point i'm just like you know i've i've encountered a freak i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna ride this what the fuck is going on here yeah and she was like and she was like so my daughter and she was like she was like she had all of these like insane ideas for what her reality tv show would be like it was going to be this mix of like um like those that reality tv show kind of like genre where it's like dancing babies do you know what i mean oh no what is that show

oh god she had a daughter tiaras yeah she had a daughter who was a cheerleader oh my god she was like my daughter is so talented so you know i'm gonna tell her story about everything that she's been through you know we've been through a lot you know i i used to be really wealthy and i i i didn't have to work and my husband um she was like my husband lost all of our money because he had a 10 000 a month uh crack and whore addiction oh my god this is a guy who like i don't know what he did for work but they had money and he then this is what she was telling me they lost all of the money they got divorced her daughter was a very talented cheerleader and she was like i am getting i'm i'm lifting my way to la and i'm gonna make this a reality tv show this is one of the

most depressing stories i've heard in a long time and i'm still i'm still reading like every new york times or like cnn story about like 12 hours in the er with these nurses who don't have masks absolutely so oh my god this is really saying something wow yeah well it's like two years ago i can only assume her show is in development oh she yeah she's working at cbs guarantee maybe her daughter was on cheer yeah well i i was thinking she thinking, you know, she probably, you know, reconciled with her husband because she's probably like kind of lady he likes, if you know what I mean now. Oh, no. No.

No. Kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Queen. Okay. Pro sex work. Wow.

Well, I mean, at least if she ended up in LA That's like a you know city with a very Strong Lyft community so Also when I've been to LA They fucking love to talk to their Passengers there it's like an epidemic I guess we can't say epidemic anymore Because you know we're actually

The first time I went to LA was When my brother when we were dropping off my brother At UC Riverside you brother at UC Riverside. Do you know where UC Riverside is, Kath? No fucking idea. I don't know California that well. So Riverside is- Your trophy wife brother?

Yes, the trophy husband brother. He went to UC Riverside, which is like the UC systems dedicated, if you can't get to UCLA, that's the school you go to. If you can't get to UC Berkeley, that's the school you go to or if you can't get to uc berkeley that's the school you go to so nice uh we love a plan b so yeah like we ended up dropping him off at uh riverside is this shitty town in the middle of the fucking high desert like on the way to las vegas and it's super depressing and he hated it the entire thing but we did have to take a couple of ubers or Lyfts or whatever.

This is around the time that the Uber CEO... No. Oh, no, that was later. For some reason, I don't think my parents liked Uber at the time. I was in high school, so I had to do it. So we took a Lyft and, oh, my God, we had people who were living in their car. This was back when Lyft was first starting to be a thing

and they didn't really have any like checks on. They had pink mustaches. They had the pink mustaches. Yeah. Oh my God. All of the branding was so demeaning. It was so demeaning.

You had to like fist bump them and like sit in the front seat and just like, dude, like no one wants, no one wants to do this. The most depressing thing was when you encountered a Lyft driver who was actually like really.

A true believer. Yes. Yeah. A true believer in like the Lyft yeah like like nothing more depressing than meeting a true believer in like any brand or you know even most causes yeah very depressing well but yeah my mom was like uh yeah let's fly down there and and like we'll Lyft everywhere because I think for some reason like she had some sort of like discount. Again, like this was 2012, 2013. Like Lyft was kind of starting out like they were kind of different. Yeah. Yeah.

Anyway, there's like the fun, like more ethical startup, you know? Yeah. Yeah, it was. But now they're just it's just as shitty as Uber. I mean, it's always been as shitty. Of course. It was. But now it's just as shitty as Uber. I mean, it's always been as shitty as Uber. Of course. Of course. They made a nominal amount more than Uber drivers at the beginning.

I mean, still, just like that model doesn't result in any kind of anything good. Yeah, it's exploitation at its base. But yeah. Like all work. What were you saying though, Max? x no it's just like super sad to see those people just be like yeah i bought this car and i'm lifting my way through the you know i uh took out a second mortgage on my home so i could buy this toyota corolla and earn you know 523 on this 20 mile trip from the airport We had one person

Who was like that like the rest were just like People like Housewives who were bored as shit and like You know too bored to Not bored enough to cheat on their husbands but like definitely too bored To stay in their house all day Well and like a nice outlet as opposed to just Becoming a pill head or something

Sure I mean they were also Do both do a bunch of pills yeah yeah you you can have it all girl big respect totally just like drive away from the gas station with the nozzle still in the car like absolutely i would watch that reality tv show oh absolutely how many pills slash uber drives can you do it in an hour um that would be well well like pretty sauced up yeah um god but how how's your quarantine been going kath uh oh thank you i'm like a little nasally i guess i always am um not because i have coronavirus though. It's been fine. It's been fine. The boy and I are making it through.

It's mostly like I'm the annoying one. Like my princessiness has really come out in a big way. Nothing wrong with that. I'm like, what are you going to cook tonight? And he'll be like, what about rice and beans or like what about like jambalaya you know just like name a bunch of things and i'm like yeah no i don't like actually like rice i hate it actually it sucks yeah i know i'm kind of like that sounds disgusting i know i well you know and he's like he's a good cook but i'm kind of like i'm realizing that i

yeah i like like five things i'm back to being a child and i want them made for me all the time i just want i'm coping and mac and cheese yeah yeah basically yeah it's it's gotten really weird like the fact that he still wants to have sex with someone who's like could you just make me some more tendies um it's a real marvel to me. But yeah, just like watching a lot of shit. Yeah, of course. I still try and get drunk at least one night a week. You know, it's important to have consistency there. Absolutely.

We've got the cats. You've got cats. You've got ketamine, I hope. No, no. No pirates of any kind? Well, we don't have to you know i personally made a big mistake of stocking up on a bunch of coke before quarantine and well see to me that's impossible to stock up on because even if i've tried to do that it's like

it never sticks around it's very moorish it blows away immediately it does yes people are always sneezing all over you know and then it's very moorish it blows away immediately it does yes people are always sneezing all over you know and then it's um yeah i mean i've been i've been keeping it together all right i i washed a bunch of my my clothes in the sink the other day because no no laundromats near me were were open so now i have a bunch of underwear and like congratulations on my fire escape drying this is a real this is a real personals ad yeah i've got like a lot of clean underwear clean uh chinatown air i'm gonna get something from after i put my yummy back on but i've watched i made i made a face mask a homemade one hand hand sewed a face mask i thought it would come out better than it did it kind of looks like shit that would come out

better because i've watched literally watched like three full seasons of project runway wow i have never done that actually i love project love Project Runway. It's so funny. I don't even, like, I mean, I've seen enough of it now. It's, like, it really follows the same kind of, like, each season. It's formulaic. It's very formulaic, but there's some comfort in that, I think, that I need in the midst of this. The best reality TV that, like, I have any interest in returning to

is formulaic. Like, I don't really want any, I don't want too much remixing yeah yeah i like competition shows but like every every season of project runway they have whoever does their casting is like really good at it because it's it's formulaic in this like still like really funny and entertaining way there's always just like the first person eliminated is always just like this like korean or like japanese twink who like gets eliminated immediately because the judges are just like they call everything that this this poor guy makes like too cartoonish they're like yeah you're you're out you disappointed us today by sending a cocktail dress down the runway that was made entirely out of googly eyes.

Oh, my God. We have serious doubts about your taste level. Stick to kimonos, buddy. Yeah. So there's that guy. There's always like a light skin, like fedora black guy who's like an entrepreneur. Yes.

That kind of guy always does really well. Well, yeah, he's a success win guy yeah and those are those are like the only straight guys who are ever on project runway are like the black black pretreneurs who are just like yeah i love i love making things for like women's bodies and like they always make really cool clothes um it's like that's there's always that guy there's always just like a like snout nose like blonde gay with like face dermals named like hayden from like ohio or something who just makes the most just like one of those gay guys who gets into fashion because he just wants to, like, live out some kind of, like, sexy woman fantasy.

Which is, like, dresses women in, like, the most skimpy, like, horrible, like, floss thongs. Oh, God. Oh, my God. It's like that. There's, the people, the guys who always win are like mild mannered like really talented like hot gay guys they just like coast yeah to victory like the competent gays like just they do really really well on that show but well they're the most marketable right i think about like i don't even the only winner i know of is like christian siriano yeah yeah he comes back as the a judge right or something

yeah whatever he takes over uh tim gunn's place oh my god they kicked out tim gunn what for tim gunn then he's got a new show right tim gunn and heidi klum left project runway oh my god i think i died of age or something jesus christ um they left for a a like i don't know like netflix yeah fashion show so they replaced them with christian siriano and um carly carly claus oh no don't don't like that another kind of just like nazi barbie yeah i feel like i feel like heidi at least had a little more personality to her heidi has more personality she she makes more like she's like much more like self-deprecating or not self-deprecating she's got better bands yeah i think she's she's hotter she like she understands that she's put like part of what she's doing is like a joke right right it's a little campy with those two with these two it's so self-serious it's very self-serious they're like

you're gonna be the next icon of the fashion yeah i really don't i really don't like anyone who in fashion takes like the winner of project runway seriously but what do I know it's kind of like winning American Idol or something yeah I mean what winners of American Idol have like stuck out yeah only like Kelly Clarkson who's just doing like Triscuit commercials

I don't remember his name but oh Adam Lampert oh yeah Clay Aiken did he win what about Ruben Studdard but, um, Oh, um, Adam Lampert. Oh yeah. Grant for Clay. Clay Aiken. Did he win? What about Ruben stuttered? Ruben stuttered is, was that the same season?

Probably dead. No. Ruben. He was the blonde. Who's the blonde Carrie Underwood. Oh, Kelly Clarkson. Yeah.

No, those are two different people. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, please don't be racist against white women just because they're white doesn't mean they're the same person okay sorry sorry bleep underwood yeah uh yeah i don't think anyone who actually wins these reality shows goes on to i think it's really rare that you do anything of notes have a fruitful career right you just their prize is like a one-night stand with the producer at the mg harvey weinstein produced project runway well really wow i saw his names i saw his name in the credits the other day

and i maybe i maybe i should pick it up i'm always i'm always looking for like something something else i don't fuck with project runway yet but i do you guys watch rupaul at all absolutely you fuck with that yeah i'm what i'm what you would call a a derf i'm a uh drag exclusionary so i just as you're right we live in a free country. I hate drag so much. Drag, like, drag to me, like, I've seen a lot of drag just because, like, it's always happening at gay clubs. Right. You kind of can't avoid it.

It's just, yeah, it's inevitable of gay life. But the only good drag I've seen, I've seen, like, two good drag queens. One was a morbidly obese Latina. Yes. She was really cool. She, well, he, I don't know. They, it did a Selena cover. It was like making fun of themselves, was like really into it.

And it was like, you know, there's a certain level of charisma there that I don't think a lot of. It was almost like vaudevillian, you know? Right. Sure. Which is the point really leaning into the aspect that it's like kind of a somewhat like a quasi like freak show yeah that's that that's the fun of it but like now because like all of our female pop stars like the big ones have gone from i think like embracing some kind of level of like campiness to just being like girl bosses that right drag queens who just take notes from these pop stars have followed suit and are now

just like you know all drag is about like in some like disgusting way but like female empowerment and like which is like which is too demented to even like begin to unwrap yeah no you can't and yeah I mean that's why that's i just can't i just can't stand drag i also think it's like gotten so professionalized like as drag race has you know kind of like come into has gotten more and more popular uh yeah it's it's weird like it's it's like more defanged than ever i watch it um with my gay and we um you know largely make fun of it yeah it takes me it takes me like a half season to even remember anyone's names it takes me like three quarters of a season to like decide to like anyone they're just named like miss pussy

and stuff like they're just named like kitty claw or like miss frizzle like just shit like that right like yeah like so many of the names like you're expecting it to be like an innuendo and it'll just be yeah like mr penis or something that's like oh okay or just blow blow job um but it's spelled like j-a-w-b. Yeah. They're so lobotomized. Yeah. They should call me Miss Barry Weiss, because that's the kind of energy I want to bring to the fucking runway.

I would love to hear Honestly, that's not a bad drag name. Spell it like the fruits. Yeah. Just like Barry Weiss. The ugliest person, or ugliest woman you can think of. Barry Weiss.

I don't know what she looks like. Oh, God. She looks like fucking stuff. No. She's not like big. I think she's like average looking. She has a massive head. What'd you say?

She has a massive head. Well, that's different than being stuff. Love him. That's what I meant. I didn't say that she was fat per se but she does have a massive head her head is the shape of stuff and size of stuff I will admit I was one of the people who

for a very long time only just heard the name Barry Weiss and didn't know what this person was I thought it was like a 60 year old Jewish guy sure why not it was like Barry this person sucks this person must be like a're like, oh, it's like a...

This person must be like a distinguished chair in the philosophy department at like NYU or something. That's what her articles read like, is like a disgruntled six-year-old girl. Yeah. They read like she thinks she should be that. Yeah, they're functionally the same. Sure.

A fat Jewish guy. Well well so what made you break through and like finally research who she was um when like everyone just started shitting on her and then i saw her on twitter and i looked at her obvi and i was like okay this is oh yeah this she wrote that she wrote some op-ed i think about, about birthright. Oh, a while back. Yeah, I think. Something that pissed everyone off. She's written a lot of that shit. No memory.

Honestly. No memory. No sense of time. She hasn't written a spicy one in a minute now. She's lost her shine. She needs to get back on the horse. She needs to just get out there with a Palestinians deserve to die,

which is something the times would run and brett stevens would be really upset he didn't think of it first no i think i think it was was it judith butler who wrote um that's when i found yeah yeah wrote like a critique of her book trashed her yeah that's ethered her book yeah and then it turned out that judith butler everyone was like slaying me and we always knew she was great well and also donated to like pete it was just like oh my like of course this would happen like no one no one who used to be cool or radical can ever remain that way it's simply broke my heart larry david donating to pete max oh i know yeah i know it's tragic her daughter her daughter who is like kind of a comedian influencer is also a big pete head too

which like i i like forgive it i forgive it more in older people even though you know i still think larry david is very funny and i expected better you know to some to some degree I you know we shouldn't expect better of anyone particularly celebrities but like among young people who went like whole hog for Pete or Kamala or now Biden I'm just like you're a traitor on a level that I can't even begin to grapple with and I I have more in common with like a salamander than you. Did you see Trump today go off on Biden? Oh my God. Yes. Some reporter was like, President Trump, Biden just said something mean about you.

And he was like, oh, what? And she read this tweet off and he's like, he didn't write that. Some Democratic operative wrote that. He's probably not watching this but if he is watching us he watching this he has no clue what's happening it's like oh my god go spot the line spot the line sorry trump trump cheeto man is bad but uh he's funny he does some good posts on like legit i would i may move back to iowa so i can't vote for donald trump like if biden cannot biden cannot win i it would be so much worse if biden wins because it won't be biden winning it'll just be the fucking

people who ran the obama administration just yeah like the the the deep state of the democratic establishment ghouls who are who are literally like weekend at bernie-ing him yeah yeah yeah but i mean ironic because like bern Bernie's not being weekend at Bernie's. I know. I know. He's such a cock. I'm so pissed at Bernie. I'm so pissed off at Bernie.

I really hope he doesn't drop out. He needs to take it to the convention because we really have no idea what's going to happen. But there is an article that came out earlier this week that are like some senior aides are, you know, pressuring Bernie to drop out. Yeah, Fashakir and like... Fashakir and Jeff Weaver. Oh, really?

Yeah. Oh, yeah. And like, I don't think they are named in this article, but it's very clear that it's these two because Fashakir and Jeff Weaver have been some of the biggest problems on the campus. Really? had been some of the biggest problems on the camp really they well jeff jeff weaver was widely credited with like the one of the reasons he tanked in 2016 and i was shocked that he was like allowed to come back yeah yeah and and fascia cure has never never run a campaign before in his life right that was also shocking to me he's a campaign manager and we had so much shit go on on the campaign with fashion care we had

like all these bullshit like union fights because you know we were the first unionized staff yeah yeah he they would they would fat under fast's direction like pass union votes um when they knew that we were in like all staff meetings wow wouldn't be able to vote on this the only people who would be able to vote on it um were people in dc there's a bunch of bullshit that went on i'm i'm like at this point right now i am i'm talking with a bunch of people who are still on the campaign um and if bernie drops out which may happen i have no idea when because he's been saying that for like the past two weeks bernie's just been saying oh you know we're assessing the campaign like what does that just say you're gonna stay in or say you're gonna drop out like stop right i hate i hate that stuff yeah i hate this and like we don't know when

it's gonna happen but when it one thing i do know is that when it does happen we are gonna see and like a like a quote-unquote like bernie autopsy released from uh the higher ups in the campaign you know the dc people who have uh been a big problem this whole time we're gonna see them release these autopsies that will do anything but um diagnose the real problems it will just be like a self-serving like um excuse essay where they can they can absorb themselves of any fault they could be like yeah party was too nice or whatever party was too nice to joe maybe that's the problem no what they'll say is yeah we faced an unprecedented consolidation of centrist power and we weren't ready for that and it's like don't don't you think it'll also seek to in absolving themselves you know kind of

the most professionalized wing of of the campaign they'll also blame uh like online people and like activist types you know probably yeah like basically like that we could never control that like yeah yeah yeah and be like oh well we weren't expecting this we weren't expecting the centrist to consolidate it's like what are you fucking stupid why the hell what is that yeah that would you why yeah if you didn't expect that to happen you should know you should have been a hundred miles from any campaign let alone bernie's of course they they did expect it to happen they just didn't have a fucking plan for it but i'm i'm talking with some people on the campaign now still so we can like people who are in the field program like low-ranking staffers so we can like get something together to kind of counter whatever the um narrative is yeah yeah so we can put something out when when bernie does drop no

no i i'm gonna be so pissed this article that came out from the washington post that does name phase and uh faz and jeff also named people that want him to stay in. And the two people that are the highest profile that want him to stay in are my two queens. Nina Turner. Yeah, Nina Turner and Reptileb. She is so fucking cool. Who rocks. They both fucking rock. No, they're both amazing. Should have been

heading the campaign since the very fucking start. Nina Turner was saying from day one, she was pressuring bernie to go after biden yeah and you know i i nina turner was was going out of her way to like i mean i on the campaign in iowa she would come by all the time i heard her speed i introduced her once it was really cool yeah but um i was backstage with her a couple times anyways me and nina hey nina i know you're listening to this because we're both psychotic trolls um is she a secret troll oh no not either she's like an active troll

yeah yeah yeah i guess you're right she's a total shit poster but she was she was from the beginning pressuring bernie to to go after biden she would when she came and spoke in iowa she would talk about like she would she would do it in this very kind of like roundabout way but a bleak way yeah there there are people in this race who have been and xyz whatever biden has been you know his record being racist etc etc but bernie just never fucking listened it's so it's so depressing i'm so yeah she she was always correct and also uh you know there will be a lot of like actually good reasons you know mostly that the top people in the campaign won't own up to for why uh bernie lost but like that's a great one he should have been on the he

should have been on the offensive not only against biden but against warren a lot earlier yeah absolutely i mean i mean maybe not from day one but ever since like he she came out against them in that debate and like called him a liar yeah yeah i'm not i'm not saying he should have come out of the gate like spitting fire being like yeah um there's there actually shouldn't be a woman president um yeah but he should have said he said he should have said elizabeth you've got a dog face and no one will ever vote for someone with a dog face yeah you have you have a dog face and the voice of like a little house schoolhouse school bar yeah and also nobody believes you and you are a corporate

this show like that's it you are a liar my my hate for for warren will be um everlasting so my last word i'm sure i'll be like in a hospital on my deathbed just talking continuing to talk shit about elizabeth but i'll be dying on one of the like navy ships that have been pulled up into like new york harbor and my last one should be like fuck you liz babe truth truth for bailey truth for bailey uh bailey eight which is the one yeah bailey get bailey number seven out of the chirogenic jesus christ free her um but i i need to shift gears i can't talk about this shit it's so depressing i know well i for one i'm gonna book in this with this uh i for one will be proud to work with Representative Rashida Tlaib in her 2024 presidential run. And I will gladly help her win California because if nothing else, this campaign season has shown us that any person with at least three IQ points and a a fucking functioning brain that received labors is much more okay she's also a

total freak I she came to our office and in Des Moines one time don't stop stop by randomly yeah and there is you know a crowd there a bunch of volunteers there because we were launching a canvas and you know she went around and like shook everyone's hand and there's this guy named chris who was one of my volunteers he like shook her hand he's like hey it's so nice to meet you my name is chris and she was like oh that's so funny because i used to work in a morgue and one day three corpses came in and they were all named chris that's so that's so crazy she just said this to you remind me of these three dead guys i know i was like that is so strange what a freak but yes she's she's really cool she has she's also she's also like the

realist member of the squad by a long shot oh my her and ilhan yeah oh yeah yeah love Ilhan but can never run for president Ayanna Pressley Ayanna Pressley fell to fourth way before she even endorsed Warren and Ayanna Pressley can't vote for Puerto Rican, I'm really sorry and Tilly and Luchino's have bad juju I can't vote for

I like Puerto Ricans people always think Palma not having any Puerto Ricans. People always think... Palma not having any Puerto Ricans? Nuh-uh. No Cubans or Puerto Ricans. I'm really sorry. Maybe you can be a representative sometime.

What about Swagapinos? Swagapinos are cool. I don't know why I put a tilde over the end. Swagapinos. It makes sense. Swagapinos. I like Puerto Ricans for the most part i think they're they're they're hot a lot of them are like bye um yeah of course when puerto rico had

hurricane maria i had a lot of people reach out to me um because i'm costa rican but a lot of people just like don't like don't know like my God, is your, is your family okay? Like, I hope I'm so sorry, but what's happening there. And I'm like, I'm like, yeah, you're like, damn, I'm like, I shouldn't be alone. I shouldn't be alone right now. Do you want to donate to this GoFundMe for my family in Puerto Rico? Please, please do. Here's the link. But speaking of Latinos, i show this to max um this is really

funny this is this is the latino response to coronavirus it's a so what i'm what i just what it is it is a coronavirus pinata it's like the coronavirus like molecule or whatever it's like the green ball so yeah yeah there's things coming off the little arms coming off in the middle is a kind of uh what you what you could call a chinese emoji it's like a little caricature yellow yellow circle with the rice hat and like squinty slanted eyes what do you call the that mustache uh like a pencil oh yeah yeah yeah oh yeah oh my god like you know so good you will say what you will about that but um i will say no one is better at about racism than yeah number one no one's better at racism than latinos number two celebration

no one's worse at it than the mexicans in particular uh no that guy is mexican that wasn't mexican yeah exactly mexicans are are the worst or most racist versions of oh yeah yeah uh if you think i'm bad if you think ben's bad like mexicans are a million times worse i'm not talking about like mexican americans by the way like the people that live here and have lived here for the past like three or four generations like they're basically all gringos now with dark skin. It doesn't make any sense. But Mexicans from Mexico, fucking save yourself. If you're any other minority, you will get clowned on and you will cry.

I love the pinatas. It's so beautiful. And I saw this video online. It's a wonderful touch. I love that people are getting into crafts in this time of diversity i i saw this video of a parade i think it was in i'm pretty sure it was in in mexico um absolutely in mexico and it was like this this parade of like coronavirus and there was someone

in corona coronavirus costume um where again it was the the cell of the corona virus and it was just this green ball where i got a rice people walking down the street and like dancing to music and i was like this is so i can't believe trump hasn't like lifted that off of like reddit or something yet and like used it used as like this is the official symbol of corona like stop calling it covid it's just uh the china emoji now it's a little rice patty hat if we want trump if we want trump to stop being um anti-latino literally all you have to do is just show him what yeah you just have to show him the racist yeah they have plenty to agree about actually and trump will just be like okay yeah let them in like they're amazing of course he would have he would have the coronavirus pinata parade just like on the

national mall like every day i also love the idea of just having a parade during a pandemic that also get this this is what this is what nicaragua did nicaragua um had a had a coronavirus parade they had like a march against corona everyone hold hands and march yeah they they called it um what they called it uh a love walk in the time of covid 19 so which is like first of all wow people have been saying that like it's love in the time of covid 19 or whatever. Since the fucking pandemic started getting really heavy. So first of all, it's not very original. Number two, you idiot.

I'm waiting for people to start throwing orgies for COVID-19. It's going to happen. It's happening. I'm kind of shocked that it hasn't happened already. I'm really waiting for it. Because know first of all people can't go like if this thing lasts 18 months i simply think that people will like clandestinely quarantine well yeah people will clandestinely like just get it back on all the apps so like because people can't not fuck for a year it's just not going to happen yeah no i know it's i i'm personally going a little a little crazy but

you know what what can you do but the first lady of uh nicaragua said said this about oh yes i love the parade yeah please uh rosario mario yeah we are going to walk with the strength and we're going to walk with the strength of faith and hope throughout the country in permanent prayer and solidarity with all people families brothers and sisters in the world who are affected by the coronavirus your tickets are so fucking stupid they had rallies throughout all of nicaragua oh my god i would love to see the graph of like here here's where they uh did the march and then this is it was just up exponentially like new infections yeah i mean we're very literal well we're like a very symbolic people you know if we can't if we can't you know turn the coronavirus into a well yada then how are

we gonna yeah like what like even even my own dad like he was refusing to quarantine. He was, like, he's, like, 60, has diabetes, you know, and I was, like, you need to quarantine. King. You're, like, at risk. And he just, like, was not, he, like, does not watch any news, like, American news, much less the local news in Des Moines, Iowa. And, like, I would, like, beg with him. It's, like, a week.

I'm just, like, please stay inside. Please stay inside please stay inside and the only thing that got him to actually start quarantining was I was like I'm having dreams that you're you're dying I'm having dreams that like you're like getting eaten by a puma I'm having these dreams that you're like that you just like can't breathe and uh that an emoji with a rice pad he had is eating you whole. Sneaking into your house and killing you. And he's now quarantining. That's good. Certain Latinos only take,

they only heed warnings from the spirit realm. Absolutely. Latinos in general are super into spirituality. That never got beaten out of them by the encomienda system. So you have all these Latinos that are super, super Catholic. They'll believe that, okay,

when you take a horse right out into the country, you have to tell five people about it because otherwise such and such spirit is going to take your horse away yeah or if you like you have to like you know if you like bury all of your toenail clippings you'll have like six years of good luck yeah like it's a chronic show clippings uh yeah with my my parents uh my dad uh my grandma still had like my dad's uh like first haircut like the hair because that's like a token yeah yeah that's a very important token she has his uh like umbilical cord like in a fucking

oh no that's that's gnarlier yeah that's disgusting well what he was he was the fourth firstborn male uh and so like he's always been like a mama's boy so it's not like you know surprising to me at least but i guess you know see karen culture now is that you know you wouldn't save the umbilical cord you would just like grind it up with a pumice not pumice a mortar and pestle and i use it to make a face mask yeah absolutely that's karen culture it's like a really good thing that i can't get pregnant because i would definitely like get an abortion and turn it into a face mask like inject it oh my god like this this could be the next fillers this could be the next big thing

yeah well it's all stem cells anyway so you're probably better yeah really very very rich in stem cells i would i would eat a placenta. I would do that. I'm kind of a goop. All right. You're a goop head? That's it. Yeah, a little bit.

I'm a little bit. The podcast is over. My biological penchant for mysticism has just completely been channeled into white women. Like Gwyneth Paltrow telling me what's healthy and what's not. Absolutely. I would totally do that I can't I can't wait for her to tell us that you know like

in a year when there actually is a coronavirus vaccine to tell us that like uh it's it's bad you should you shouldn't uh you should not get that you should just keep rubbing your your yanni egg which I need one of those by the way if anyone has a hookup to put in your ass to put on my ass to align my assholes chakras pretty pretty sure it works it would work the same way yeah imagine that shit gets lost in there man that shit does not have a flared edge uh yeah that's gonna stay up there for a while like you have to turn into like yoshi like poop it out of course of course oh it's so horrible wait what do you eggs even they're they're like crystal crystal eggs that help align your your pussy chakras that way you

yeah something like that i also know like women who use crystal dildos, which I think has to be a similar principle. You know those don't get washed, too. Well, yeah. I'm kind of like, how do you get any purchase on it? It's already slippery to begin with. That sounds really dangerous. Just like a quartz dildo.

Yeah. You can shave them down so it's shaped like really dangerous. Like just like a quartz dildo. Yeah. Well, I guess you can like shave them down so they're like, so it's like shaped like a dick, right? Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. They're very like phallic shaped and they're very, you know, obviously smooth. But I'm like, yeah, how do you like hold on to this? Yeah. I don't know. It's.

You got to use clamps for that motherfucker, man. Like, I don't know what to tell you. You got to get industrial with that bitch. Yeah. but truly yeah yeah but did you guys see that did you see that video of that guy who's been striking against amazon who was just like dildos are not an essential yes he says dildos dildos he like says it like three times for episodes yeah i was kind of like speak speak for yourself dude i mean we do have the the karens of the i honestly feel like amazon purchases of like dildos and vibrators and stuff has to be like way up just because you know sure people people are just sitting around you know totally i mean i will around, you know? Totally. I mean, I will admit, like, two weeks ago,

I tried to buy dumbbells off of Amazon, and it was all, like, $200 or just, like, you wouldn't get here for, like, a month and a half. And I was like, yeah, that's whatever. I'll just lift a pile of books. I mean, after quarantine, I'm just going to have the weirdest muscle growth from just lifting a pot full of water.

I want to have a jailhouse body, like an MS-13. Yes. I want to get a tattoo across my forehead. I'm steadfastly trying to emerge from this, like not only perhaps fatter, but I certainly don't want to pick up a single new skill or to have bettered myself in any way.

Like to me, that will have been a failure. Like I'm not even like trying to read many books. I'm just trying to like keep up my steadfast work of smoothing, sanding the folds in my brain down as much as possible. That's my conditioning. I can't let up on that. No off days. Well, you know what, Ben?

I had to grind for this smooth brain. I had to grind for this perfectly smooth brain. Well, Ben, the cool thing about you getting those MS-13 tattoos is that you'll finally be a Latino passing. Yeah, people will finally realize that. Of course.

They'll start calling me Poppy Chulo. As I've always wanted. God, I just popped the half chub. Yeah. Man, I don't know what to tell you.

I can see you with a face tattoo. Yeah. Just a little i i can't like jack off anymore like i'm so fucking bored like i like you're right ben like people are going to go crazy like we're going to get a sex uh terrorist yeah we're gonna get aids aids too after this pen i've been thinking about that i just think like back to fucking people are going to be also just like so unhinged and like fucking deranged when we can finally get back to it. It's going to be insane because I feel like it's going to go on so much longer than people are saying.

It's not. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Right. Well, I think like the basically like the black market is going to be, you know, like people are not going to like stay off grinder for two years you know it simply won't i've said this before grinder as much as i've used it is a public health hazard it should be shut down it should not be able to be used right now i mean like yeah the other the other day they were like um they i opened it up um i actually can't i can't use grinder because i have a vpn

on my phone so i don't get banned from twitter and if you have a vpn it like can't locate you so you can't use it so i've been barred from grinder uh for a while but i opened it wow this is what you do for posting that's incredible you're like a you're like a monk for posting literally but it's it's way health like twitter's much healthier for me than grinder you know the other guys imagine at least i would i would assume that's much much closer of a toss-up but oh but i i you gotta go and find them but they're there they're there i opened it i opened it in the like they were like please stay home you know there's we're in the middle of a pandemic like you know we're having you know they gave you all this like these like covid tips

and they're like watch our live stream with charlie xcx djing and i'm like okay nobody wants to watch all that bullshit just close up shop no is it still is it still very active i will admit i did watch it um like yeah people are on it yeah and people get guys are totally fucking right absolutely absolutely i mean they've had like max and i were talking earlier about like people um like horny dming each other right now right i i can't do i i've had a few people do it to me i just i can't do it because it just something about it just like stresses me out it's so i just i can't do it because it just something about it just like stresses me out it's so icky i like will like someone will like send me something

horny and i'll just like respond like haha thanks like you're hot too and then i'll just like close the app like i'm running away from something i'm like wait i'll have to wait like 30 minutes to reopen it but But yeah, I don't know. Like there, there've been so much horny DMing that I think when this is done, those people were, it's going to be,

it's going to be a new age of derangement, sexual derangement. I, I also just like, it's never appealed to me. Like particularly when this whole all started and people were like, stay the fuck home. And they were like yeah you can just you know uh do horny dms or like get get really into sexting again yeah and like obviously like i'm i'm you know i'm i'm hubbied up over here but i'm like

why would it's just never appealed to me to like enter into this like you know meet some guy on tinder or whatever and commit to like yeah we're just gonna horny dm for like the next six months without like knowing like yeah we're never meeting and even if we wanted to you know it's simply not going to happen like yeah it's it does it holds like no appeal to me um but these are these are dark times so you know with each passing day i'm like i'm you know i need a little excitement in my life so well you can't quote me on anything i can tell you if it's crazy the people who really like sexting are the virgins in the room yeah yeah they're freaks i mean i did it when i was like 12

you know i would like there you go yeah i was like a horny like 12 year old I would like go on like chat rooms right and like pretend to be like an older man damn and like damn okay talk and like talk to like guys but you know like hey have you had have you had sex yeah literally but it's really just it was me probably talking to like another horny gay 12 year old pretending to be like a 20 year old you know what i mean it's like it was just this so many levels of just like everyone faking that's that's the chat room thing yeah yeah oh yeah we should maybe bring back chat rooms maybe i'll get on a on a chat room talk to a bunch of 12 year olds maybe maybe i'll maybe i'll use this time to get like really into yeah like chat room something else like antiquated internet tech like chat roulette or something

club penguin club penguin yeah yeah just like i didn't i didn't even know what that was for like the longest time i would see people like tweet about it and be like what do you what do you want about well i remember i had one of like a really like embarrassing like horny thing i did when i was a kid online i had um you know that game uh roller coaster tycoon yes oh yeah you could you could like name each one of the like uh the coasters park goers you could like name them things and i don't remember how old i was but i remember just like naming them like penis and like sexy and i remember just being like oh my god this is so bad i hope i hope my mom doesn't see this yeah literally

he's like doesn't see that penis is the flew off of a roller coaster that i didn't complete oh my god nasty nasty bad boy i know it's really it's really naughty humble humble beginnings if i see my son doing that i'm whipping his ass fuck it uh sell him i'm gonna sell him uh yeah that's another big thing i really hope that makes him come back uh homophobia from uh on twitter just being like yeah if my son's gay i'm gonna fucking ship him off to afghanistan maybe that'll maybe that'll come back oh man i'm really here's yeah here's hoping here's hoping yeah folks if you're listening to the party you really like it uh tell me what you would do with your gay son. Yes, absolutely.

Yeah, tweet at Palma. You were talking earlier about how disastrous it would be to even have another gay on the pod. And I've been thinking the whole time we've been doing this, trying to think of a third gay man that I like on Twitter. Is there a third? I honestly, my brain is very smooth, but, like, no one else is coming to mind.

They're gay. They're absolutely gay. There are a few, but... I like and think are funny, but... Maybe I just haven't, you know, zipped them out. Just a matter of principle. This is a two-gays-only podcast.

Two is enough. Yeah. We should start making our guests say, faggot. Cap? This is a two-gays-only podcast. Two is enough. Yeah. We should start making our guests say faggot. Cap? That's the password. You know, I'll say the N-word, but... We won't go that far. Oh, boy.

Look, Karen will cut it from here on out. Yeah, I'll say it on that. We're all going to say Karen on the count of three. And then, yeah, you can hold this in case I ever cross you guys. Yeah, Karen with a hard R. Which I would simply never do because obviously I would just be eviscerate. I would have to log off forever. It would be the end of me.

I don't know if you know Nashua Khan. She writes for Vice and she was on the pod recently. But she also got thrown off Twitter because of Karen's. Really? No. Yeah. It was pretty bad. It was just like a bunch of middle-aged dumbass white women

who willfully misconstrued everything she was saying. It was like, oh, she's racist against white people or whatever. That's white woman activism. Yeah. I tweeted about this. I know. I tweeted about this, but I was walking in my neighborhood. I live kind of the edge of Bed-Stuy.

I was walking by like this neighborhood slice shop you know which seems to be like a black owned business this was like a few weeks ago already um you know before the plague really hit hard but you know there were just like a couple like younger black guys like standing out front like wearing no protective garb and like today was the first day i ever like wore like a scarf out you know like i was wearing like gloves to go to the grocery store but otherwise like kind of not sweating it and i was like walking home and there was just some like older white woman who was just like she had like sunglasses she had a mask she had gloves she was like wearing full full garb and

just yelling at these two black guys about, this is so irresponsible for you guys to be open. Do you have any idea how serious this is? I was just hitting that white woman extinction button as hard as I could. I know. I was really like,

should I intervene here? Should I go buy a slice just to fuck with her? All minorities need to be in a bubble. Don't you hear that? what what is should i intervene here should i should i go buy a slice she was like all minorities need to be in a bubble don't yeah hear that more more than ever if we're going to save black-owned businesses we need to they need to be closed yeah you're endangering white people by standing out here of course of course i mean yeah just don't go the fuck back to you know fide or whatever where everything's closed anyway even you know aside from the pandemic

I remember my brother lives there and we went to visit him once and he's completely dead after six years. Wait Max is this your hot gay brother? No this is the straight one who's married. Too bad. I was gonna go to Fidai and try to fuck him I'm gonna

break quarantine to find Max's gay brother and fuck him. Yeah. Well, I mean, just because you guys have been Zooming together, you've been exposed to each other. So if you get exposed to Max's brother, you know, it's like all in the family. It's technically okay. I'm a doctor.

Max, it would be so funny if I became your, what would I be, your brother-in-law? Yeah, brother-in-law. I mean, he kind of has it coming because he's a big time liberal. He works for EY and calls me like a champagne socialist, which is hilarious because he is essentially a trophy boyfriend. Good for him. Which, good for him which good for him i wish i respect it but don't don't

call me a champagne socialist but vaidai has always struck me as like one of the darkest places to live though like it's it's peak like oh this is so this is like streamlining my life because i can walk to work but it's like ever like if when you get work, if you still do, when it's light out, everyone is getting absolutely blasted at 5 p.m. And then at 6.30, the streets, they're just tumbleweeds. Every corner is darkened. They're company-mandated happy hours.

Yeah, it's very, very dark to me. Nothing more than Ersat's company culture is more sinister to me. I visited him once and he was first starting out at EY, which meant he had to work basically 80 hour weeks. Sorry, what is EY? Ernst & Young. It's like one of those brand name

consulting companies. Okay, nice. They changed their name to EY with an exclamation point at the beginning in the mid-teens. Fuck you. That's so dark. They had to change it. They had to take out the exclamation point because

EY with an exclamation point... People were getting the wrong idea. No, but that was the name of a gay porno magazine from Italy. And so they had to change it because they couldn't trade under that name in Italy. They're consultants. How did no one fucking google it before they changed the name they're not very good at what they do clearly and don't ask me because they chose not to hire me i

would have fucking told them immediately they're they're yeah people are people are signing million dollar deals with them and they can't even google like i wonder if this is taken. Their second choice of name was Bang Bang Bros. Yeah, exactly. Jesus fucking Christ. Yeah, can you please stop union busting government employees in fucking Bangladesh and start fucking researching what the brand is supposed to be? Start watching gay porn.

Yeah, start watching gay porn or something. Live a little. Oh my God. My puff bar just expired. It all right then i've been vaping in this apartment and this apartment was this was it was vacated by three 22 year old like fyd students i was friends with one of them but they've all left to go back to their homes and they naturally there's two puff bars the whole place was just littered with these these are the off-brand because like after jewel was banned from selling flavored right vapes this

company puff bar arose with a loophole to still make the flavored ones because these are like single use so like if it's a single use flavored va they that's fine produced yeah that's such bullshit so clearly marketed towards children though i was like i kept like even more so than a jewel like at least the jewel is like chrome but that is just like child's colors yeah it's just like a bright blue do they do they have a mint color um i don't know i think they're exclusively fruit flavored ones because that's that's the whole premise right is that is that these are the flavors that you can no longer have in a jewel but that's what they're so clearly marketed towards children that it's like they're gonna have to find like the next loophole will then will be them just like attaching like a

little knob to it that you turn it's like the cow goes moo the pig goes oink like or or just like in order to use it you have to it's like opening a prescription bottle oh god you know like this this is child this is child proof that's that's the day when like everybody in brooklyn's every white person in brooklyn's gonna buy a gun and like go to city hall and uh yeah like drag drag uh bill de blasio out by ballsack and i mean these are just so clearly horrible for you, though. They shouldn't exist. But there's literally so many of them. They're just littered around the apartment.

Are they any good? They're something. I'm still shipping in jewel pods from Canada. Oh, wow. Yeah, I'm kind of international. i'm in the international drug game now i'm a trafficker i'm watching narcos and i'm like damn same import export game yeah i always wanted jewel to manufacture a pod that was just like zero nicotine. Zero flavoring. Just like a water pod.

So you can still get the oral. Because I like smoke. Or vape for the oral fixation. And just the smoke. To cool. And because I kind of like a nicotine high. But I could really. I would really be satisfied with just like a water pod.

There's just like nothing in it. So I could just do this. it so I could like just do this and yeah yeah I could totally also also you know keeps you hydrated very important these days it hydrates your I could finally delete the app from my phone that that pings me

being like you're beautiful but dehydrated it's a little humidifier yeah yeah for Johnny Sut sun's bot account that tells you like to breathe deep or whatever like oh my god i i had like i forget he exists for like months on end and now you brought him back into my consciousness what he was he was one of he was one of the very first people who ever

like when i was like a way way like just a tiny little account uh he was like one of the first high profile people to block me when i was doing like like what some of my very early like baby trolling attempts like i think i just tweeted i was like home for christmas break during college or something and i just tweeted like your ass back at him or something. And then he blocked me, or he responded, and I remember feeling just like a swell of shame, but also, you know, like, damn, I got to get more of this. Like, I'm high right now.

Of course. Yeah, he blocked me. I've caught a couple blocks from him because i've had to i mean paul and i have both had to have so many oh of course but like parody parody and parody yeah he and um uh moira donagan oh my god block me before i can even whenever i have a new account they block me before I can even... Whenever I have a new account, they block me before I can even control them. I think they both use blockchains. Like, I had never interacted with Moira and I'm blocked by her, which silencing women much?

Interesting. These fucking Terrans, am I right? Yeah, seriously. These fucking... Beep! Yeah. Incredibly pathetic. Well, just like,

Moira Dornigan in particular is just like so so dumb that like like please just let me see your post man like I'm not gonna fucking do anything

did you see her did you see her post today what she said what oh yeah where she's like looking for men who are sewing

masks no she was like I just think it's really interesting or like have you noticed that like it's basically only women who are sewing masks yeah yeah, she was like, I just think it's really interesting. Or like, have you noticed that like, it's basically only women who are sewing masks? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was just like, oh yeah, give me more of that. She was like, have you noticed that my sweatshop

is just Chinese women? That's so weird. It's so weird that I'm only hired. I'm just thinking out loud here. It's sometimes like these that i really wish we had like much much higher quality uh uh internet idiots like uh megan mccardle uh you know barry weiss because now we're stuck with like people people like talia levine and and uh who else well course, me and you, Ben. Yeah. There's a lot of good ones out there. But you guys are genuinely funny.

So many of the idiots are barely even worth attacking anymore. Or maybe that's just my depression talking. I'm just like, oh, I'll let that one go today. It's a low-energy dumb post that you're doing. So I won't try and bring my cavalry I mean my all time Faves are still out there Adam Eli We need to have Felix on to talk about that guy

I don't know who that is He's a gay Body positive Jew Number one thing You do need to haveix on to talk about it yeah yeah yeah we need we need a lot a lot of overlapping uh identity things which felix is yeah i i'm kind of uncomfortable speaking on that that topic because you know i'm not really a

member of those marginalized communities yeah yeah um hate Jews and don't want to talk about them. Yeah. There's plenty of good idiots out there. God bless them. But of course, we can't forget about all the idiots that have left us. No. Of course. Just roll the ememorium of all of the dead.

They're dead. All the bad idiot accounts. Yeah. That's going someday that would be a good outro just just solemnly like reading their ads um well i think we're at we're at time we got a 120 out of this it was fun yeah we can wrap it up i mean this was great do we have any any shout outs oh yes cast do you have any shout outs regarding like rent strikes and anything like that because that's important oh um so i'm actually volunteering with this the the grocery thing i did today um is with this bed stye if you're in new york if you're in brooklyn it's a mutual aid group uh called Bed-Stuy Strong uh they have done something like you know 4,000 deliveries or something like the scale of it is one of the biggest uh you know mutual aid like organizations

in response to this crisis going right now but they only have like like 12,000 dollars left which you know doesn't sound sounds like a lot but like apparently with how many people they're serving they'll be out of money before the week is out oh damn i know i know so like i i've posted on twitter i maybe i'll maybe i'll make it my pinned tweet um you've got a few bucks to spare like they're on venmo and paypal and all of that and all of that money is going straight back to like just buying old people or like immunocompromised people groceries or people without you know who've lost their jobs it's really really good work so that's i guess we'll post something in the description we'll put it yeah

that'd be great that'd be great i have um tommy vitor's credit card number from when i waited on him so that's incredible i would love to see him charge, like, you know, what's his limit, like, $1,000, $2,000? Let's find out. Very generous, a very generous donation from Tommy. It's like a crooked media, like, corporate card. Oh, God, that is begging. That is simply begging to be defrauded.

Believe me. Yeah, that's practice. Okay, well, thanks so much for being here well oh thank you for having me it was very fun kev all right i i i'm so happy that i asked you to be on you are uh you're very funny and then i think this is like perhaps we've had so far right ben i'm i'm blushing i'm blushing ben's like yeah you know whatever i'm kidding we got a lot of better episodes ahead of us the best is yet to come

the best is yet to come alright bye everyone bye love you Let me stay I don't care what your friends about to say Ah, ah What your friends all say is fine But it can't compete with this pillow talk of mine Ooh, you can't find love on a one-way street

It takes two to tango Takes two to even compete Ah-ha compete Ah ha So far I just put that stop sign down And let's get together before the day runs

us down Hey baby let me try To be the one who's gonna like your fire Ha ha, what your friends all say is fine But it can't compete with this pillow talk of mine. I don't want to say you'll be no fool, but what I'm teaching you tonight, you never learn it in school Oh no

So friends do tell me wrong or right I'll ask to borrow them in some cold and lonely night Oh night oh hey baby let me be the one who turns you on from A to Z

what your friends all say is fine But it can't compete with this pillow talk of mine Hey baby Hey baby La la la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Hey, baby, hey, baby, ooh, hey, hey, la, la, la, la, la, la, la la la la Ooh, I don't wanna say you need no fool But what I'm teaching you tonight

Boy, you never learn it in school