Seeking Derangements - SD 501 - And I'm Not Patient

Episode Date: May 28, 2026

Hello Seekers! Ben here, today Jacques, Hesse and I discuss which one of us is most likely to start the next Sexual pandemic, how veterans are the most annoying special interest group, and list all the hobbies that are being stolen from us by rich people. Allegedly.

Hello, everyone, welcome with my food arrangements, it's Enfaces here with me, Jock is on this way. This is a free episode. Go subscribe to our Patreon, if you're going to bonus episodes. Hello, Hessa. Hello, darling. How's it going? Pretty good. Pretty good.

I'm chilling. How are you? I'm fine. Happy Memorial Day. Oh, it's Memorial Day? Yeah, honey. Oh, period. And we don't even get off work because of the troops.

Well, if you find out that it's a holiday, if you find out it's a federal holiday after recording starts, you're too late. But yeah, no, I'm not doing shit today, unfortunately. I have to work, which is kind of annoying because everyone I know is having a damn barbecue. But I'm stuck inside. but I'm back in Des Moines. Speaking of Memorial Day on my flight back here from L.A.

when we were, you know, on the tarmac de-plaining. This guy, I'm like way back. I'm like seat 20 or something. There's like five seats behind me. This guy, people who do this should die. They should be killed. Like, literally die. Stood up and stood in the aisle and was like heaving.

He sounded like a dog in heat, just like a breathing. And I'm seated. like a normal person who has manners who lives in a society like heaving like he was going to throw up or just like and he wasn't even fat was he like having a panic attack or something or was he just like breathing i don't know he seemed fine to me he seemed he seemed impatient um welcome to work diva you have your local track going my local track going you're you're not coming through your mic I'm recording on my, my regular one, and I'm now coming through my regular one. Not my clear.

And welcome to work my divas as well. Can you tap your mic? A tap tap. Okay, so he was behind me, like, breathing down my fucking neck. People do this because they think it will make de-planning faster. If they all stand an idol in the aisle, I'd never let this happen. Never. If you stand up before, you exit with your row.

reason to stand. And so he's waiting there when it's my turn to get up and exit like a human, I push past him. He's like, you know, he's like right up next to me. I had to like squeeze past him in the seat in front of me to assume my proper place in line. He let it happen. I elbowed him. I didn't look back. I had like headphones in. Anyways, after de-boarding the plane I'm walking around the airport, he walks past me giant patch on the back of his camo back. You want to know what it said? What? Veteran.

Oh, period. Can't trust them. Can't. And you people think you get to board the plane first and the airlines let you get, you know, they let you get by with that. You don't get to deplane first. Yeah. You weren't even in a fucking uniform.

First of all, you had a veteran backpack. You weren't even in the damn uniform. If you want to claim the rights of a veteran, you better be dressed to the T, camo, boots. You better have your M-16 on your back. You better have a lot of purple hearts. Because if just being a veteran is a, enough. We need purple hearts. At least look like it. You know, if you expect the treatment,

at least give the drag. Let me just put into your perspective, because everyone thinks if you're a nationalistic American patriot type, you imagine every veteran as like someone who went in the trenches and like fought for your rights and shoot. The reality is as half of them are just like sitting around holding a gun, not doing anything, just train. And this guy didn't even believe it. If this guy was an actual veteran, if I'm supposed to have some obligation to his convenience, you know, at least you keep up the act that you did something for me, but you did nothing for me. You have no honor. You have no respect. You're a fat fucking piece of shit. He was wearing XL cargo pants and like a white NASCAR tea. The only identifying piece of, you know,

the only veteran paraphernalia was the digi camo backpack with a, giant red patch on it that said veteran. Period. Like a service dog patch? Literally service dog. You have no respect for yourself, no respect for your, you know, a sensible service, and no respect for the country, or me as a citizen. Yeah. I've been, um, haven't been brave enough to wear my combat wounded, um, veteran hat that I've been saving for an airport in order to like, you know, used. I mean, I feel like that's such a fake hat though, because like, it's,

It's not like, like that can't be a real hat. Absolutely. Like you get wounded and they're like, here's your new hat. It is absolutely an officiated by veterans. Someone gets wounded in combat. They give them merch that says wounded combat veteran. Yes, it's a purple trucker hat. And it's got those like, like, they're dramatic enough to do that.

On the back of the hat, it has this little thing like wrapped around the back that is like a signifier. Whoa. Whoa. What did I say? I didn't say I said signifier. I'm trying to, it's hard to pronounce. You heard it, Hessa. What did I say?

Hesse G. I heard it. I heard it. No, just keep going. Keep going. Okay, the second thing is to get past the debboarding situation. If you are someone that just can't, I, if I'm not in a rush, I will just fully choose a seat on the very back of the plane and wait until everyone's gotten off. As long as I'm in an aisle, I don't really.

care where yeah i'm aisle only yeah do you think but but do you can i just really quickly but if you do need to get off the plane quicker there's a such an easy way know what the furthest away um terminal is from you at all times and then claim that your next connecting flight is leaving in 25 minutes from there well flight attendants know who has connecting plates well yeah well they can catch you in a lot well i've So I'd be careful. I've never been caught. But it can work. Last time I flew, they were like, raise your hand if you have a connecting flight.

And like everyone with what, everyone look around. If someone has their hand raised, please let them love before you. What I say, I say is, oh my God, I'm going to, I start, as soon as we start landing, I start looking at my phone. I'm like, I'm not going to make my connecting flight. And I start letting everyone in the row and everyone around me that I'm concerned. And I start making everyone else's problem. And then they start getting up.

as soon as also. Well, that's a classic jock strategy. Also, if... It's kind of a hostage style thing where it's like you become such a big problem that you'll get what you want because people just want you to stop. It's toddler. And if not, I sit in the aisle and as soon as they say stand up, I will push people aside if I need to.

That's so rude. I would never push. Well, unless someone did what that veteran was doing, because then I will push my way through. I wait for someone to violate the social code and then I will attack. Yeah. I do you think that they let they like when did they start letting veterans on first? Like if they always done it because do you think like it was World War II shit? I don't even think they gave a shit about them then. Because I'm like wondering like do you think they were like okay we're going to board them before first class just so that they don't go really slowly past first class and like sigh and try and see

if anyone there will like offer them a first class seat. Right, right. Like, it's really slowing down boarding. Right. I mean, I don't know. I'm just like the entitlement. They are one of the most entitled special interest groups in this country. I mean, we do treat them kind of badly though, like not giving them health care, but we don't

give any. on health care, though, to be honest, to be fair. Exactly. So why do they deserve it if I don't? You know, it's like these things should all just be doled out on a universal basis. But, yeah, no, I don't like the attitude. And I will say the real tea on it. I have no. I mean, I'm kind of losing my sympathy for this argument. Previously, I would have said, you know, a lot of veterans.

They're from poor places. The whole country is set up to like trap. Yeah, funnel. Poor people at young ages and offer them some of the, you know, offer them some stability, whether it's a house or, you know, a fucking degree, whatever it is, in exchange for military service. But I'm, I have, I have dwindling sympathy for that argument when it comes to veterans. Yeah. It's, I'm thinking of the arrested development joke where there's a tent with two entrances and one is like, Jesus saves. come, like, join the church today.

And one is, like, a U.S. Army recruiter. And you walk in and they're both leading to an army recruiter, like, just sitting at a desk. No, literally. Did they ever come to your high school? They came to my gym class. My high school was too bougie. Right. We're not getting any of these.

The CIA was pulled up to your high school. The CIA was literally. So in high school, at one of the high schools, I went to Como. in Lafayette, they had this, like, principal or, like, dean of students who was like, I personally don't support the military. She was very woke for not saying this. And she kind of was like, if you don't want to be here on recruitment day, you can skip. Oh, that's amazing.

Like, day off. So I was like, oh, fuck yeah. So all of us, me and my friends got dropped off of school, not telling our parents there was recruitment day. And we all walked from the school to a target. and we're all just like smoking weed, getting crazy instead of class. And we run into that principal. And she saw us and she just kind of looked at us and was like, yes, this is better.

Right. Why do you want to send your children away to military? And then also, if community cops, I think like many people feel like they have to. Many people feel like they have no other option. Yeah. And it's true. Like it is. That's a financial thing that they put them in that position that they think that that's the only thing they could do.

Yeah. No, like, this will teach me a skill. In many cases, it is the only thing they can do. They're not irrational for feeling that way. It's a moral quandary. And like in the closest thing to like a military recruitment thing that we had at was at my, in like fourth grade at my Catholic middle school when they had a bunch of other religions come in and be like,

we're just going to, because it was like a Jesuit school kind of. and they were like, let's show you what the other, but it wasn't a very good Jesuit school. Like, they weren't good at it. So they were like, here are the other religions that you have options for, Episcopalian, Lutheran, Methodist. And like, so going to every room, it's like, oh, like, what's the difference between you and the other guy we were just talking to? It's like, well, the other guy has to wear a scarf when he's giving you.

Literally. When he's at church, I don't. And then the other guy. was one Orthodox Jewish guy. Skull. Is there an Orthodox Jew community in Buffalo? Not really. I think I've said this before. I didn't meet a Jewish person until I was in like seventh grade.

It was, I had a Jewish friend in high school, Avery Zabrowski. Well, I guess one of my, one of my lifelong girlfriends Her father was Jewish, but she wasn't like raised going to synagogue or anything. But yeah, I didn't know many Jews until I, I guess maybe Denver, Colorado, I met more. I kind of accumulated Jews. I didn't know that many. And now I'm at a saturation point.

I've had enough. No, my first best friend, I would almost say rest in peace, but he's not dead, but effectively he's become such a different person, rest of peace. But Saul was just my best Jewish friend since first grade. and, you know, I'd go to perm with them. That shit was so fun. I missed that. I guess I used to clean Jews houses when I was a maid in Denver.

There was this demented mother-son Jewish cleaning team. Putting all the, like, religious stuff in the kids, like, toy box. What was funny about it is that these were all, like, wealthy Jewish people in the suburbs of Denver, Colorado in, like, a Jewish enclave out there. and the one kind of through line between all of their homes wasn't necessarily anything, no Jewish artifacts, but they all had rooms that I would only describe as Oriental rooms. Okay. Whoa.

Like rooms with like a big Chinese fan, like Chinese art, Asian rugs. Curstee's parents, Jewish. I don't know what was going on. I think it was a certain like, a generation of American Jews and maybe this was only in Denver

I don't know but they all had Chinese rooms like a room of the house that was just all Chinese stuff her parents were Jewish they lived in China for years they had a Jewish Chinese room wait who

of course Kirstie the mythological jock's weird the mythological not friend that's an old title ex friend that's a title for people who fucking want to stay in my life. And if you're going to be a sorry ass who wants to tell me that I'm a gay misogynist

for not voting for Elizabeth Warren. Gay massad, I thought you were going to say. And then be like, well, of course I'm going to support Israel. I'm Jewish. Then get the fuck out of here. Well, yeah, she's a dumb bed. She was always weird. And I have a saying that from day one.

God, she's giving me such a headache right now. I need a Bing. Excuse me. All right, bye. Whoa, his fridge is like by the front door. He has three fridges. Crazy phone. his scary house.

I really, I really dislike his house a lot. It's really unsuffling. Yeah. Hello, Diva. Welcome back to work. And welcome back to work. Diva to you too. I had a Bing.

Welcome back to work. We needed a Bing. We let, we let her piss. Mm-hmm. Period. We let her piss. Why can't I have a Bing? It's morning time for me.

Actually, so no plans for Memorial Day today, Dr. You know, morning any of our fallen soldiers? Fuck. Hell no. Oh. Do you think there's any good, from all of the wars America has been involved in? Do you think any of those veterans deserve respect for? Well, I do know this one veteran named Patrick, and I think he deserves respect because he's my friend, and he would give me rides there.

He's also weird. You have the weirdest friends. But from the wars, any singular war you can think of. I don't think the type of is good war. Is there a specific war that you think a veteran of that war deserves respect? I think World War II. Killing Nazis. War II.

War II. War II. I have respect for my grandpa at the minimal level. I'm going to be honest. I'm not going to say which grandfather, just to not clarify, but all of his pictures of him in the Army, he looked like a fruit, a pansy. And I just... Well, guys kind of just looked like that. He just looked too happy in the goddamn pictures of him holding a guy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gay as hell. You know, my grandfather... would go to this gay car wash as an adult to get his car wash. Your grandpa, wait a second, your grandpa was in World War II. Mine was too.

Well, wait, wait, wait. That's crazy. Wait, wait. He was in the island wars maybe, the Pacific. Is that still? The island wars. He was in the island wars. Then he was a Marine in World War II, I guess.

Like, yeah, they called it the... My grandpa had, like, a fractured grenade in his, like, leg or something? I think it was World War II. Maybe it was Korea. My grandpa had a stick up his ass. But I don't know if that was really a war injury. Because you put it there, freak.

Period. I think one of my grandpas was in Korea. The other one was like in Italy when World War II was going on. It's like a title of a Kwan's Mill book. I went back in time and fisted my grandfather to stop him from serving in World War II. Period. That's not exactly, but I get where you're going. You could see where I'm naming.

I wouldn't do that, but I, especially because he didn't fight, but he would, he would tell, he told me stories like, I, me and my 11 year old friends would just beat American soldiers at soccer all day, just hustling them. Like, we would have to keep changing the rules to make it easier for them. And one time, a guy got so mad, he tried shooting the ball with his gun after. Jock, if you could be in any war, what war would you be in? Any war, I, and I'm going to take World War. too off the table. Yeah, not that one. The robot wars. No, no, not. This is like when I asked what revolution you said the industrial revolution. Why is that the wrong? Why is that the wrong? Do you really not understand why that's so funny? Why is that so wrong that I want to be part of an industrial

revolution? I feel like it would be so nice to see me in a period of history where you were required to have such a deep work ethic that it would... We were talking about like, we were talking about like people led like political kicking open doors and shooting farmers in the head with like a Springfield rifle. What was the correct answer there? Stonewall? I don't think I would have been good at throwing bricks. I'm barely

good at baseball. I'm an athlete. Do you think that was a revolution? Is it? What? Revolution is like when they successfully topple a government. Like the Bolshevik revolution. The French revolution. The Bolshevik revolution, the one with the Tsars and the Russians? Yes. I don't, that just seems, I

I feel like I would, if I, if I, okay, hypothetically. That one seems fun as hell, honestly, to be. I choose Bolgavch Revolution and they send me back in time and I wake up and I'm Anastasia, Anastasia. I'm Anastasia. Okay, that's the other side. That's the side that loses. That's what I'm saying.

Yeah. It's like a, it's like a, it's like one of those, it's like the monkeys Paul wish where you wish for something, but it's a fucked up version. So if I say I want to be part of... I want to be a princess and then she's getting shot. Then I'm on the side that's getting murdered violently by the uprising. But who knows? Maybe I am on the uprising side. You would be resputin.

But you would be Rasputin. Yeah. You'd be like just going around like dicking down the queen of Russia even though you're gay. Yes. That one is the kind of cranky. to. Yeah, yeah. That rest, the idea of them being like, that Rasputin, what a wild man. He fucks women, even though he's a faggot. You know, they still have his dick. It's in a museum. Really? It better be big. It was famously big, but it's kind of shriveled now, I think.

See, that's why you don't put my dig in a jar when I'm dead, because I don't want it to shrivel any worse. I think it, yeah, yeah, you wanted to stuff it up, kind of, you know. I want them to taxidermy it big. I don't I want to die hard. I want to die hard. I want to die hard. I want to die hard. Because if you die soft, it's shriveled forever. Turtlehead.

And if you die hard, it stays hard forever. It stays hard. You know? Period. Look, I'm going to be, I'll be honest. My penis, my penis soft. Because like Rigger Morris would set it and then it's kind of. Penis hard big.

What, why am I going to choose the small version? Mm-hmm. I will say, I got to be careful about how much genital. I'd take or how horny I am before I go to bed because then I've had a boner all night. And then the boner has, I can't wear tight underwear because then I've, I've, I've, ran my dick red from the friction of being hard all night. So I literally have to be non-irotic before I go to bed or I will wake up with an injury on my pine eye.

And then I go to the dog there and I'm like, it's an SDI and I didn't have sex with anyone and I don't know what it is. and he's like, oh, do you wear tight briefs before you go to bed? And I was like, yeah. And he was like, boner. You'll just go to the doctor for anything. I will go to the doctor because I've had, I can't risk it at this point. Another problem, I'd rather solve it.

I mean, I guess that's better than the alternative. No, I always encourage you going to the doctor no matter how, you know, minor or, yeah, ridiculous. The issue may be. You should just be there. Yeah. I wish it was a punch card system. I would have had like six free foot long Subway sandwiches by now. I period.

No, you go. No, I was going to say a doctor, a psychiatrist, a team of psychiatrists should follow you around and just write in their notebooks. I haven't been to the doctor in like 12 years probably. I went yesterday. I don't go. So like you have a...

But do you count urgent care and stuff? like I would previously I would when I was like living in Denver I would go to urgent care if I needed antibiotics but since moving to New York I just go to the medica and get penicillin oh period because they have like they have penicillin from like Santa Domingo I'll just give it to you and that's worked whenever I feel like I've had strap coming on but I haven't like gotten a physical in so long I probably show so you and jock are kind of like the twin the twin sides of starting like the the pandemic that will kill humanity. Like a bacteria.

If I was having sex like that, yes. Well, because Jacques was on antibiotics for like two years and now probably your, and now your body is a breeding ground for the ultimate bacteria that is resistant

to all bacteria. Well, hey look, I haven't gotten like super sick. I've gotten sick maybe once in the last, like really I've gotten maybe sick twice since I've got it. It's better to just

not do the antibiotics and be sick. Antibiotics like really fuck up your system and your body. Yeah, this is the thing. I am at the point where those 11 months has spent doing antibiotics were like the maximum I could probably for a lifetime.

So. Right. And that's why Husset says you're going to start AIDS too. Well, not nice. I'm not going to start AIDS too. That's not fun. and then I got to don't call me right now I'm podcasting and then second

I'm not going to start AIDS too wait that Hessa first of all why don't you fucking start AIDS too why don't you start AIDS 2 with your training ass long hair bitch face

faggot I almost said something more period well she hasn't she hasn't been on two years of extra strength anti-a-dye so her body will be fine

look look this is the thing I don't think I'm going to create AIDS 2 but never say never if someone did I think you'd be a or you Ben I think because you're me no not me because you're popping those penicillins like fucking tick tacks

over there no no no that is a last case that's my last resort is going to get the penicillin and it's because I am I'm very in tune with my body and I know when I'm getting strep yeah and usually I will just power through it and like not leave the house but if I want to leave the house and like get over the strep faster, I will just, you know, give up and go ask for some penicillin. Yeah.

But it's rare. It's rare. And I don't get sick that often. They, like, never give me penicester, like antibiotics when I tell them I have strep or anything because I'm trans. And so they're like, it's probably an STD. So you need to get an STD test for everything. And it never is. Extremely rude.

Yeah. Before I even had the full concept of HIV treatment slash I am not HIV positive that the doctor was prescribing. No stigma. No stigma. The doctor was prescribing me HIV medicine before I understood what it was. And she, and I said, is it prep? No, it was prep and well, pep and then prep. And I was like, hey, I haven't been exposed.

And I was like, I'm not HIV positive. And she was like... Well, that's what it's for. And the doctor... Well, no, I know. And then the doctor said, oh, well... With that purse? No, no.

She did truly just assume I had said nothing. And so all of the medicine, I had like maybe, I don't know, like nine or ten prescribed... How are you HIV negative with a belly ring? How does your doctor not know that you don't have HIV? That's another question. Look, Louisiana... It's Louisiana. It's high.

Fully... Louisiana doctors, if you've mentioned to them, that you... have had gay sex or any kind of promiscuous gay, no, just say you have, telling the doctor in Louisiana, that or just looking the way I do, they are prescribing you the HIV prescription amount of a regular medication because they just assume. So I'm on nine or ten medications already when I was at this age, I was way younger. And they have doubled all of my prescriptions to be twice the amount in one day. So I'm getting really tired. I don't understand. They think they're like the best doctors in the world because they're like he hasn't succumbed his age. Yeah, he's so brave and strong.

We've been loading him up for 15 years. We're giving him chemo. We're giving him all sorts of stuff. That's why you're bald. They gave you chemo. Yeah, yeah, because you've been on chemo for 15 years. He just won't die. I just say a month or two later, I say, hey, I'm really feeling tired. And they're like, well, that's what we have to prescribe for HIV. patients and I said HIV patients uh I don't have HIV and I ain't patient and I am impatient and I am impatient well it was miserable but I started drinking energy drinks back then because they were prescribing me so much medicine that I was feeling so tired all the time from it I honestly I wouldn't put it past also it's like somehow you saying that you had HIV or something yeah

I wouldn't lie about that. There's a lot that can get lost in translation, especially when you are having a hypochondriac freak out. Fair, fair. If you have HIV, they have to test your, like, T-cell levels, right? Don't they have to, like... I don't... But again, in Louisiana.

Yeah. Going to in and out. In-and-out. Yeah, girl. Well, I mean, let's just run that back. In-and-out, Urgent Care literally read me someone else's results. Where I thought I... We've talked about this.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's segue to... Yeah. Has this thing. Speaking of old hobbies, like having HIV and AIDS has, I believe, stigma. No stigma. No stigma. I found an amazing article that really says a lot about the world.

Okay, this is buzzfeed.com, the famed website. And we're encroaching a little bit on pot about list territory here, because this is a list. Whatever. They can die. Suck off faggots. Fuck you guys. The fat one and the two skinnies. The fat one and the two skinnies. Literally them talking about us. 26 poor person hobbies that are now super expensive because they've been

commandeered by rich people. God damn it, Neil Young. I told you when you got obsessed with railroads and rain track. Make some guesses here, Jock. What do you think some formerly poor people hobbies are or were than ever people are doing. I mean, honestly, model trains, I have no evidence to prove this.

I feel like those have always been super expensive. No, no, no, no. Because there was a time period for sure beforehand where they were just toys and they weren't all, it wasn't such a niche hobby. It was very 1950s, like Americana to me. Like, it's so, like, made with lead paint and, like, every family is, like,

building. Neil Young has an autistic son who loves train tracks and model train sets. And he has a whole room for just model trains. Imagine as soon as they found out that that rich musician motherfucker had an interest, they were all sitting around being like, we can put our numbers up by 25% on the, across the board now that Neil Young's buying these train tracks. Vertical integration with the spawn, the autistic celebrities.

Now, let me also bring it back what has been co-opted by rich people that was previously a poor person's hobby, thrifting. thrifting used to be I also disagree that that's a hobby if poor people are doing it I think that that's them buying clothes Yeah

No no no no no But like you go I think something we can do Is offer good alternatives For these things So number one Some budget options Knitting and crocheting

Decent yarn that isn't plastic Is wildly expensive now Okay Okay you know what Honestly here's a new hobby for you You enjoy the intricate work of knitting and crocheting, how about you instead pick up trash on the side of the road? It's an interesting thing to do with your time. You're helping people out, and it takes intricate

detail to know that you are picking up the smallest pieces of trash as well as the biggest ones. It's a visually stim— This is knitting and crocheting is just categorically like old lady to me. Yeah, my grandma— Not even necessarily poor. Yeah, my grandma does it, and she has said that the, like, yarn is getting more expensive. But I don't think it's because rich people started doing it. I don't think that they've co-opted it.

It's because there's plastic and everything. Yeah. It's because of big plastic. Yeah. I still disagree because I feel like probably, like, 1950s, 1960s. And are rich people knitting or crocheting? Yes, because they have the fucking time. Ella, Emma, ha.

I feel like it used to be that they were the only people who could crochet in it. Like, you had to be so rich that you had no, you had nothing going on. And you, you know, like the Edith Wharton short story, Roman fever. Well, I think of it as like, I need to make, I need to make the kids clothes for winter. Yeah. Kind of. I know someone and she, and she's way rich doing well off as hell. And what is her hobby?

co-shaying and and kneading, knitting. Needing. Hobbism in general is kind of a status symbol because it means you don't have

three jobs. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. The next one is kind of related. It's sewing. The cost of material alone is literally more than just buying a finished product now. And I was going to say,

actually, for knitting and for this, a good alternative could be just like going to shine or the, you know, Zara H&M, getting some fast fashion stuff. That way you don't even have to make it yourself, you know, and it's a lot cheaper. That would be my recommendation if that was your hobby. Just try to get some, you know.

If sewing's your hobby, I recommend that you start going, we're going to soup kitchen because you're only into old-timey-ass activities that you think have been obsoleted. Go do something for the community, for God's sake. put down the sewing needles and put put your heart into a soup ladle. I don't know why I'm suggesting helpful things. This next one is like clearly this was

because this is all just like this is how BuzzFeed operates. They just find like a Reddit thread and then turn it into an article. And this one is clearly an autistic guy and I love it. I build 148th scale aircraft. Not only are the kits themselves getting more expensive but so are the paints and glues you need to build them. I'm building my first British aircraft

and getting all the right colors for the Royal Air Force planes set me back close to $50. I guess I better build another one will I have the paint. Period. Well, that's embarrassing having a hobby as making, like, go fly a plane.

How about instead of building tiny miniature planes? I feel you need to be much richer to do that, you know? Okay, well, guess what? Instead of getting a hobby, why don't you get a second job? Okay, that's that's here. How about instead of painting little airplanes, you start training for your pilot's license and start working at Frontier Airlines before they shut down.

I think honestly, like this could be an opportunity for Boeing. Just get all those people who build the model airplanes. They're probably really good at it. They're probably very diligent and focused and hire them and get them to make real planes for you. They'll do a better job. Professionalize their autism. Yeah, yeah, exactly. The next one, model railroading.

The first thing you need is space at home. Good luck getting that on a nine to five job. Then there are the parts. A new locomotive is going to run $500 and up. Again, I don't know. I'm kind of like, who's actually doing this? I don't know anyone who's doing this. And if people are doing it, they yes, are autistic enough to like devote their life and

their income to it. Yeah. Well, Neil Young's doing fine. He doesn't need to, you know, event. It's like also, it depends what level. you're going in for the train, the model train stuff, because if you go for the vintage sets, they're like

$5,000 a train, which is crazy. You're paying a back, like a cart that's being pulled by the train for $1,000. This has always been a very rich person thing in my mind, because like you need to build like a little town

and shit, you need to name it after yourself. You know, like it's like a little yeah, a little power fantasy thing going on. Stop being a frightened coward and sell all of your model train set and get a job at Amtrak before our country lose our trainway systems. In Monopoly, it used to be an honor to collect all the trains. Now you're collecting toy ones. Give me a grip.

Another game. Give me a grip. Give me a grip. Give me a grip because I can barely hold on to you, people. You're slippery like weasels. You saved it. You saved a big diva. But just do something interesting with your time that doesn't, that isn't a money flex.

Let's get the next one. These ones are boring. These ones, I'm like, whatever. They ruined thrift stores. Now they charge so much, you might as well get it new. And this one truly is, I think that it is the thing that thrift stores are more expensive now, and they have been co-opted. But if you were shopping at them as a hobby,

I don't think that counts really as like Well, anyone who's shopping there as a hobby is part of the problem Because you are doing it to like, I'm going to find a vintage drum These people who drove the prices at thrift stores I haven't been in a thrift store in years I used to thrift in high school and I was like indie and addicted to weed I gave it up because the clothes are terrible They smell bad

I hate the experience of also being in a thrift store I really hate like looking through amounts of clothes. Yeah. It's a truly miserable. I love that. Sensory overload. It's very like, you know, like there's so much to look at. And it's like, I don't even know what size anything is.

I don't know what's going on, you know. I, yeah, I used to have fun with it in like, you know, in Boston. There's a giant thrift store that I used to go to all the time. But it's really in New York, especially because every three. Drift store now is like a chain store. And it's... Well, yeah, in New York. It's...

It's pointless to try to... Even look in a thrift store in New York. Sure. Because they're... And then the thrift stores are so aware of the reseller culture that they find things that are reprints of old stuff and then they try to sell them for the price of an old thing. And then people are too stupid to know better or buying them. I mean, I remember going into a thrift store, a Goodwill.

in Metery, New Orleans. Thrift stores, especially chain ones, should not be escalating their prices across the board. It's unfair to the world. And I go and they have a Harley-Davidson shirt and one single shirt for sale for $35. It is ridiculous. It wasn't even a vintage shirt.

It was like for 2018 or 19. Look, 10 years ago with thrifting was still fun and you could really find a lot of stuff. And I still enjoy thrifting, but to even look around the store and see someone who is solely there not to shop for themselves, but to shop for what they want to resell in their fucking tape. For their Etsy store. Pathetic. You people have ruined the fun of thrifting. It used to really be a hobby, achievable.

And now it's just like, and then it's not even poor people who are reselling the shirts for a lot of money. It's rich people who are already. I don't think they're rich. Yeah. I think if you're taking your clothes to a, a three. rift store to sell them. I don't think you're rich. If you're rich or even if you're, even if you're someone who's, you know, scouring through racks and racks of clothes to resell something on depop, I wouldn't call that person rich. I'm thinking of a reseller in New York. They are part

of the problem, though, I think. I'm thinking of a particular reseller in New York, and she started off on a depop and an Etsy, and now she has three storefronts throughout New York reselling clothes. Well, she's probably rich. I, she probably comes from a very wealthy family. who financed for buying those storefronts. I don't think there's enough vintage, like, baby teas in the world to flip into three storefronts in New York City. I wish it was like that, but honestly, you find a band shirt, the right band shirt, it's like $500 and idiots will buy it for that cost.

Yeah, I mean, the other part here is the consumer market, where people are choosing to spend this much money on, like, a stupid vintage tea. I will say, though, I do kind of hate shopping in general. Not me. I love shopping. And the reason why people like the vintage teas is because the cuts on them, they're normal. They fit your body. Because of like the globalized supply chain markets on clothes, everything is meant. The measurements are just out of whack. Yeah. On anything now. And that's why people covet these like, you know, vintage teas. But it's like, will a single shirt company make a t-shirt that fits my body? Yeah. All of the shirts are, they're so fucking long.

I've complained about it before in the show. But like a 27, 26, 6 inch shirt you cannot find. Yeah. No, it's annoying. Which direction going chest to chest or pit to pit? Neckline to seem. Length. They're too long now.

If anyone out there knows of a company, and there are companies who do it, but they do the, they do this like extremely heavyweight cotton. Yeah. You know? That's like, you know, microcrop boxy tea. And I'm like, no, this is so like broccoli haircut TikToker. But I'm like, just a nice cotton shirt that is not so fucking long on my pathetic 5-7 body. Like, they just don't.

Well, Excel used to really be extra large. It used to not be a fake large. It used to be pit to pit, 22 to 23 inches. Now we're getting 21, 20 inches on X. sell shirts. Give me a fucking break. Okay, well, this is also part of the problem. Everyone's so fat now. Yeah.

Are you saying that my fat is probably your problem? Are you saying that me being fat is your problem? Yes. The national BMI has made it extremely difficult for someone like me to find a shirt, to find any kind of standardization in the market. It is a fat, is the society's fat people's problem that you can't find a medium-sized shirt? Yes.

Because y'all made the sizes bigger. First of all, Hessa, shut up. Second of all been, shut up! I don't want to hear this from you too skinny's. Oh, it's hard to find a shirt. Oh, it's hard to find a shirt. You could literally fit in a large-sized shirt. You know what happens when I try to put a large-sized shirt on?

I could, but it wouldn't look good. I try to put a large-sized shirt on. It feels like it's... Of course, I can also fit into a tent. Do I want to wear a tent? Yes. You know, like there's lots of things I can fit into, but nothing fits me. I want to be in a tent.

I want to be in a goddamn tent. Take me down to tent city. It is a nice camping weather. I kind of want to camp. Oh, I hate camping. Really? It's the worst. Yeah.

When I camp, I like camping, but I'm the one person that instead of sleeping in the tent, I want to sleep in the car. Of course you are. I mean, I like camping if, you know, it's like one night you got into a field with your friends. You kind of get trashed and then you fall asleep and then you drive home. Yeah, I like a three. nights at max i did do two months three nights is too much i did two months back to back going national park to national park um with this group called outing club my eighth grade year till they were trying

to out you as gay yeah um they were trying to fuck you they were trying to do a lot of things but rest in peace my friend brett said hey guys jacques is actually cool leave him alone and let him have fun with us. He disappeared. And everything was cool on that trip until we played concentration camp. And Daniel DeCrellender, whatever the fuck his name was, ripped my favorite shirt directly down the half. It was not cool. Also, I kind of want to ask what concentration camp is, but it would be funny or maybe just never. Yeah. No, in retrospect, it was obviously incredibly inappropriate that we were playing this game. But basically, it's like cowboys and Indians for Jews and

I mean, basically, you need to get to one side without being caught by them or they're going to fucking kill you. And that was the game. This was some really brutal, tough outdoor boys for the most part that invented this game. So it's like, it's like calling hide and seek and Frank or something. It's just like a crazy thing. Seems like you were playing like, they were on. No, no, no.

You were playing capture the flag. The, the enemies were on top of the bus with these big spotlight flashlight. flashlights and then there was guys on the ground and you had to run under the bus or try to get under this without being detected by the spotlight or by the people in the ground it was hard oh oh that sounds kind of fun yeah that's i would love to play that actually because you have to evade the spotlight and the people hunting you on the ground yeah you have to be quiet and inconspicuous i love games i want to play a game yeah let's play a game like a physical one i really Lila, I really miss playing games.

Wouldn't you love to play? Wouldn't y'all love to play concentration camp? Yeah. That sounds fun. A beach volleyball game between us? I've been playing a bunch of chess lately. We should play chess. Chess not so much.

I'm not for the Holocaust and I would not play concentration camp today. Period. It's very brave of you to qualify that, Chuck. Yeah, well, we could just call it something else, something normal. Yeah, yeah. We can play catch them. Catch them. Y'all want to play catch them?

fun day. Let's play fun day. Collecting records. Vinyl's used to be much cheaper. This isn't because of rich people. This is because of streaming and like the death of physical media. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no.

I'm going to go with on the side that this is because of rich people because of- Of course you think it's on the side of rich people. You think rich people are deep pop sellers. Anyone? No, no. It's not. It's not just that. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's like, anyone who is like slightly above you on an income bracket, it's like a rich parasite. It's ridiculous. You're putting words in my mouth. I didn't say anything about a rich parasite. That's not even

what I said. Don't put words in my mouth. You pale of mouth. Okay. Then what are you going to say? What were you going to say? Rich people have ruined record collecting? 20 years ago, 15 years ago, like being in high school or whatever or why do you think records cost more than they did 20 years ago? Because time has passed and the records don't have less pressings, but also the The physical media thing, too, is a huge thing. But even then, it's just like, okay, disc dogs. Think about disc dogs 20 years ago. Disgogs?

Discogs. I thought it was disc dogs. I thought it was just dogs. I'm following you. Yes, continue. Disogs did not even have half of the following the amount of availability for records. We're in the internet age. We're thinking every single item on Earth is being cataloged and resold.

and they're getting down to the records, and there's only been so many records, you know, there's reprinted records, of course. But as far as like first press records, all the first press records have come out and you're never going to get them again, and they're becoming, it's like more and more less available. DisDogs is up here making records

that would have been resold for a couple hundred, being resold for thousands of dollars. What? I don't think that's true that they're selling $100, records for thousands of dollars. No, no, I'll give you an example right now. I mean, I can definitely see that market existing. People will

shell out for all kinds of like crazy nostalgic items. I was looking at an original copy of the Jerry Martin and I think his name is Frank Russo. Martin Russo. Martin Russo. Anyway, Jerry Martin and Martin

Mark Russo or something like that, they did the original Sims one original soundtrack on vinyl and I was interested in getting it. So I looked for a while and I couldn't find it under $250,300 which if I had a payment plan, I was considering buying for one record, which is fucking insane.

So I waited three. But I think that's the position a lot of people are in. They're not like wealthy people doing this. It's like kind of broke people like deciding that they'll find the money to like buy this thing that they like. Well, whatever. I just, then I went back and looked for the same record

about three or four months later. Now it is $1,500, the only available price for the only left to available. I think that's just because of the scarcity of the record then, right? Right. And, no, I mean, there is like a huge, like collectibles market. People will pay a premium for stuff because they want to, like, pat out their collections of stuff. And I do think that is like, that's happening for all kinds of things that don't need to be, you know, in a collectible space. but I'm driven by physical media and apocalyptic scare.

Period. Right. I, yeah. I mean, I've gotten records on discogs for like $15, like $10. I agree, but the majority of them are more expensive than they want. There's a 1,000% of high tier market there. I'll look on eBay before I look on discog. I believe you.

No, I totally believe you. There are shirts being sold for thousands. There are records being sold for thousands that shouldn't be. but I don't know. I just like, I guess I just am exhausted by the kind of like collectomania that people have. I don't get it. Well, you're just a minimalist person.

You don't really collect anything, nor do you have honestly that many possessions. Right? I mean, I'm not being wrong. And Hessa, I don't think you're also a giant collector except AM radios that you have about 17 in one room all to the same station. Full volume. I do have a lot of radios. I do have a lot of radio. There's someone underneath Hess's apartment hitting it with the ceiling with a brum going,

turn down those radios. We know it's going to be 58 degrees today. We heard it all on 17 of them. Well, but I like to fix them too, so that's fun, you know. Are you fixing them to resell or is it just like you're enjoying the fixing? And now I have another fixed radio. It really is that. And I'm like, wow, I'm wasting my time.

I don't know what I'm doing. I get it. I kind of like feel so boring in that nothing motivates me like that. Like I'm not motivated by like collecting things or like having little challenges like fixing a radio or like fixing a car or anything. I really am just not it does nothing for me. And I'm like

I'm like I have a pleasure. I wish I had a passion outside of I mean at this point making Instagram reels. Well you do you like help your dad sometimes. like work outside and shit. I'm like, yeah, yeah. You don't know. I want to stop you for a second. I'm, I'm very sentimental and attracted

towards like emotional and social aspects of life, but when it comes to like caring about material items and like being feeling passionate about something like that, I just don't. It's just completely not in me. And I'm like, and I think it's

a bad impulse to be so invested in collecting and stuff. I feel like it's like I don't think it's interesting. I think it's interesting when someone is like so, especially when you're not like reselling it

and when you're not like when it's just truly a hobby, I find it to be really interesting and endearing because I don't, everything I do I feel like it's because I have to do it. It's not like something I'm like seeking out.

It's not like willful on my part. Can I just comment on something even though it's, I don't think that you're doing it because you feel like you have to. I feel like you do it because you know it's the right thing to do. I feel like the most honorable

thing about you, Ben, is that you want to... But I'm talking about, like, having a true hobby, which I just don't, you know. Yeah. Yeah, but... Like, being interested in something for no, for no purpose outside of the fact that it just, like, brings you enjoyment. I don't have that in

in, like, a material sense. I think we should all take a page... For a while. For a while, I'm so off. I don't play Fortnite's so long. I think we could all take a note from Ben's book and put your damn hobby down and do something for your family,

the people who gave birth to you and supported you from the beginning. A lot of people have hobbies with their families. Well, that's fine. Flying tights or something. Yeah, I don't know. My family, we make a tomato sauce every year. Yeah, that's beautiful.

We make a tomato sauce. Yeah. You'll just sit around in one bucket. It's beautiful. Yeah. I don't really participate. Live shows. That's on the list.

Live shows. to be a way to promote the album. They were so cheap because they boost album sales. When when recorded music became practically free, the relationship reversed. The record now promotes the live shows, which now have to make all the money. And I think that is true for like the big artists and stuff. Yeah. And I'm sensing a trend here where what this article is actually trying to isolate is that these are all childlike or adolescent things that millennials are doing into older age, where they have higher income, so therefore the people selling these services or things can charge more for it. But what they're really talking about here is that no one has a

family, no one has a home, no one has a stable job. And so when you don't have any of those things and you still have disposable income, everyone becomes a hobbyist, everyone becomes a hipster, everyone is drawn towards consuming certain things as experiences or being well-versed. in wine or food or music or cultural products across the board. These are things that everyone in our generation is doing. It's not because rich people are doing it, if you're not stealing it from us. It's because we have no family, we have no future,

we have no home. And because you don't have those things, the market will still find a way to suck you dry because you dare to want to have a full human experience. This is what they're talking about here. These are hobbies. These are all like coping mechanisms for the fact we live in. to like totally fall in world.

Yeah, there's nothing to do. You can't do anything anymore. Like it's, but there are live shows that are like free and shit, but like it's for sure. Less and less. Everything has to be commodified now. We can't have just like a fucking good time.

Well, it's because they can. It's because they can do it because, again, people have disposable income somehow and they'd have nothing to spend it on because they don't have kids or mortgages or whatever. They have to spend it on experiences and, you know, their taste. What is gardening on you? Because I feel like that's got to have gone up for, you know, it used to be practical.

And now I feel like it's kind of... But let me also ask you a question. Also, live shows aren't a hobby. Going to live shows, it's not a hobby. Yeah, this is an interest. Like, if you ask someone what their hobby was and they said going to music, going to see shows. Oh, people, people on, like, dating apps, they're like, I see that all the time. Well, I guess I did see when I was using, when I was using them in, like, Denver, Colorado.

And granted, this is a specific city and specific time and place. But I remember, like, being on, like, a grinder or, like, I figure what the other ones were at that time, but it would be like, what's your hobby? And everyone would be like going to concerts, going to concerts, going to concerts. People regard it as a hobby. I would have regarded it as a hobby. But my brother fully thinks that seeing a show is a hobby, and he spends all of his free time, all of his free time. Hobby to me is something tactile.

It's something physical, and it involves, like, tinkering or collecting or, you know, something that's not... Because, you know, like, golf isn't a hobby. Golf is more of a sport. You know, but like model trains, fixing old cars, gardening. It's something about, I don't know, hobbyism feels fishing. It feels like necessarily like tactile. But in defense of my brother really identifying his live music as like his hobby, he is collecting experiences to put on a, like, in his head, he's like,

I've been to Flaming Lips 57 times. I'm in a polyphonic spree. He's got every... I guess that makes sense. His hobby of live shows sinks into everything else. I mean, he was like getting records, getting posters, getting shirts, you know. And I love my brother. That makes sense.

This is not a shit against my brother. I would never in my fucking life go to that many live shows. I'd have a heart attack. I hate music. You've got to be really... You've got to, A, you've got to invite me to the show for free. it's got to be music that has never disappointed me. You wouldn't pay for a Kanye show?

Not at the, not at the prices that it's been offered. I got offered free tickets and I was too busy the one time that I could have gone to. What was widely regarded, what was widely regarded as the greatest? He's resentful at us for not. No, I am not. No, I don't think he's resentful. I'm not resentful.

I picked up some resentment. But I was doing that one thing that one time so I couldn't go. No, it's not resentment against y'all or resentment against anyone. It's resentment that that you choose one one really amazing positive thing over another amazing positive thing. I had the best time. I had the best time with my friends. You two. Everyone

backstage. We interacted. I told some people off. I said I don't give a shit about Epstein or your little pedophile drama. Concern yourself with yourself. Don't look at me angry and make that little. Yeah. Don't look at your little I'll never forget that little

I don't even remember. I don't even remember what happened. I can certainly tell you, Brace just didn't remember it. Well, it doesn't, it's fine. He was just, he hit me with this, like, I was walking past and he was like, well, what do you know about that? Oh yeah, you kept trying to fight with, I forgot that you were making fights. Yeah, you kept being like, what's your name again? Yeah, yes. And I can tell you exactly why. It's because Jock's ex-rubmate, who he also, Jock also hates Gaddafi through this roommate. That roommate was also a huge fan of Truonon. And so, Jock hates Brace Belden via his old roommate slash superfan of True Anon.

Don't put words in my mouth and don't explain to people what I think and how I feel because you think you understand you little faggot bitch. Let me tell you exactly how I think. Well, there's a pattern. Don't, don't tell, don't start with me. You hate everything that this man hates because you hate him. No. There's a transference and I've seen it happen many times in your life.

Or you hate someone and then you hate everything that they stand. And the person that Ben is talking about who I will not mention by name, I do hate, but we do actually share many interests. So that's really stupid to say that I hate everything. Didn't you get into a huge fight with him about Nikki Minaj? No, I did not get in a fight with him about Nikki Minaj. He would walk around wrapping Nikki Minaj lyrics out in his gay country retard accent that would be like, I guess you do share some things in common with the retarded country accent. Look, look, look.

We both like Real Housewise and Bravo. We liked a lot of the same TV shows. We liked a lot of the same movies. You know, I gave this person a copy. So why you hate Brace Belton? I bear, I don't fucking know him. That was the first time I ever met him. I know who he is because I met him once after the back.

You pretended that you didn't know who he was. You kept calling him Branson. I could not pick him up from a lineup. He looks like an extra on Frazier. He looks like someone that might come out of the fucking devil. at 4 p.m. He looks like someone that shops at...

Calling him Jewish. Jewish. I think it's a through line here. I just look, truly, I'm telling you right now, you get six white, short, nerdy glasses. So you seem to not like Brie's.

Yeah. Seriously, I've met him and I had, even though we had a little hissy back and forth or whatever, I have neither negative nor positive experience one way or the other than them. I barely met him. We met each other over

one day. Guess what? I applaud. There's something going on between. You think of Brace and there's your two amoeia to not have something here. Stop, stop, stop. Let me explain first of all, if anything, I have deep respect for what he does because he's done it better than me and he lives a more serious

life and he's more intelligent me. So those are three big compliments. Three things you like about race. things I like about Brace Fourth, he's He's uglier than me so I wouldn't have to compete with women or men against him in the same room Okay

I think he has a charisma, a magnetism He just got married, congrats. Also. Congrats to Brace. Is that a lie? Is that real? He had a wedding last night. Mazel Toff. Married a beautiful blonde woman. I mean, good for him. Marry a way. I think he should get married. He should have

fun and happiness and light and love. I don't wish him any ill will. He's also got enough success. Marry away, what Brace was saying to Jacques. Let me go back to Marry away. Can we get that merry away? Let me go back to what was happening, though. Brace was downstairs talking to someone else, and I walked down with my friend, and I walked past, and I wasn't even talking about whatever they were. And Brace overheard me talking to my friend and said, something to the effect of, well, I don't understand why you have an opinion on that. And I turned around, and I looked at him, and I said, why are you giving me lip. You don't even fucking know me.

Focus on what you fucking know. Your little obsession with the Epstein and whatever you talk about on the podcast. You continue to talk about that. I am not the one to start getting a little lip at. I'm not one of your, I don't even fucking remember. It doesn't matter because he hit me

with this. Because I have an opinion on everything. I'm just curious what it was. If this is if, you know, Epstein is braces terrain. I'm curious what your terrain is. Whatever. I truly cannot even remember the specific thing. But what set me off?

The one thing that was like, oh, I don't, you know, this made me angry. I'm going to start yelling. No. You seem very triggered right now. I'm just going to be honest. Well, because I'm like, you're trying to say that I have had this long-term hate for brace because someone that I used to have in my life that I don't anymore. Because it's come up before specifically as it relates to the J word.

Well, no, I. Not choose. No. Yeah. I was just, I thought it was annoying that this person put this other person at this high, superb regard who didn't know him personally at all, or I didn't either, but it just was like this. I agree with you. That is, that is like embarrassing when someone idolizes a podcast or.

And I'm saying this, this is to anyone listening too, because it's embarrassing when maybe for me too. But you know what? Let me just put it this way. This is the main thing that pissed me off in that moment. He made this face, this little shriveled up angry face. His eyes went in closer and his lips were pursed. And he looked at me. He was probably just trying to make conversation with you.

It was not conversation. It was immediately negative slash pointed at me as if I thought I could tell he was getting around with you. He can be a little dry and like a little confrontational, but not in like a serious way at all. I could tell he was kidding around with you. And I'm shocked to hear that you weren't kidding around with him back when you started yelling at him. He was actually crazy. He's like a playful guy.

He's a very kind. I love him. He's very sweet. I'm sure you. Hey, guess what? You know what? It was all fine. I have no negative feelings against him.

You know what? Brace. I mean, he doesn't even remember. Brace, guess what? Brace, you and your wife, you want a Louisiana honeymoon tour. I will not only be your tour guide, I will cook you gumbo. I will personally I will be on the canoe

paddling for you so you and your wife can observe while I drag your asses around with manual labor, manual force, whatever. Again, let me just get back to this in this one moment. We have to wrap up. I have stuff to do. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I have stuff to do that. I'm not.

You're going to rehash the same thing again. No, no. Okay, you have to say something entirely new. Okay. In regards to a moment that I once experienced with the one Brace Breldon, he gave me a look of despair and agony. It's the same thing. It's the same thing. Goodbye, everyone.

Thank you for listening today. Bye. Bye, bye. I love you, Brace. We love you, Brace.