Seeking Derangements - SD 508 - Turnin Pernt

Episode Date: June 25, 2026

Hello seekers! Ben here, today Jacques, Hesse and I attempt to break the spell cast upon the women of Turning Point USA, discuss being cut in line, and the exhausting experience of visiting a barrier island

I want to hear more. Go subscribe to our Patreon. Patreon. com. Seeking derangements. Hello, Hessa. Hello, Ms. Hesse Dini. How are you?

Jacques seems to be gone, I think. Well, I don't know if he's set up. Is he set up? Are you set up? Here. Hello, diva. Welcome to work. This is the diva alert, a full alert for all divas in the area to come and listen to us. Stop what you're doing and listen to us, divas. We have a five alarm diva alert going out to everyone. It's divacan. Divacon 3.

There are five divas holding pots and pans, banging them together at the entrance of a hotel lobby somewhere. alerting people that there's divas. The three fates of becoming the three divas, and they're like cunty, cutting, uh, sewing and, uh, you know, the, the threat of life, if you will. Exactly. Well, speaking of divas, um, let's talk about one diva who just can't stop complaining about her damn dead husband. Erica Kirk, shut up.

Period. No, literally, she needs to shut up. I feel she's so out. No one has any respect for Erica Kirk anymore. I feel like half of the right wing are all just like fully on Candicellandisle inside. She's just like, so Erica killed him because she's like a time traveling Jew massage each. And I'm like, yeah, period. And then the other half are of course just like, you know, totally buying the narrative.

But I think everyone else is just completely exhausted and, like, weirded out by her extremely strange antics. And I think that part of it is that, like, no one cares about Charlie Kirk anymore. They've tried to, like, parlay his, uh, his death into, like, a huge kind of, like, we need to just do full fascism right now without, like, instead of doing it slowly, let's all do it, like, in one day. And, uh, you know, this. and they've realized like, wait, that's not really going to work. So we don't really care that he died anymore. It's not a big deal. I do think it was because he was just like too annoying.

Yeah. He was too preaching and too annoying and people have like a instinctual response to someone who's that kind of, I don't know, enthusiastic about things without having any charisma. It's just like, he was like kind of like a nerd and it's just like, oh, shut up, who cares that you died? people are exhausted of just about hearing about him and his like weird bivarian chunky wife. Yeah. And I feel like they, I mean, can you imagine a more disrespected, like, person, dead figure? Do you know what I mean? Like I see.

Maybe Shinso Abe is close, but. Like the people who've died, you know, like high profile assassinations, I guess specifically, like he has been. memed to hell and back. He's been like just the amount of disrespect put on his death is hilarious. Like people are like photoshopping him onto like, I see all of these videos of like people like meta glasses videos where like people are like buying like a cucumber and a bottle of lube and a bottle of wine at the store. You know, and you're capturing the cashier's face to, you know, see their reaction.

But there's the second layer added to it where they superimposed Charlie Kirk's face onto the cashier's face. It's just like a total fuck you to Charlie Perth in his memory. Which I think it's hilarious and it yeah, it shows that it really didn't, really didn't work. Yeah, absolutely. And the even like on the right, the like AI generated songs of like, we are Charlie Kirk. Like I feel like we'll never get that shit out of our heads ever. And yeah, even the people on the right wing who are trying to genuinely memorialize him are too fundamentally incapable and retarded to actually

make a proper attempt at it. And they're just simply too corny and it's immediately memed because whatever they're doing is just AI slop and so histrionic. So two things. First of all is listen to NPR randomly this weekend.

That is very random for me. And they were talking about how the right has been divided into like three different types of the right and there's like the MAGA right, the Trump right, and then are like, it's like, they're all divided. Give us the breakdown. Yeah, yeah, let's hear the touch.

It was like there's the MAGA right and then there's the Israel right, or I guess the MAGA and the Israel right have like separated because they're not really like meeting at the same spot. I don't know. It was just like, I think that's kind of true. Like, in a lot of ways. I think the split, I think the splinty you're talking about isn't, there's an anti-Israel. There's a third of right-wing people in this country that are anti-Israel. There's another third that are like fully establishment and like neocons. And there's another third that are just like, you know, jug-hooting chuds who are kind of loyal to MAGA, no matter what.

But within the anti-Israel right, there is part of them who were some of the jug-hooting, you know, just MAGA tards, who are now just, you know, really disaffected, I think. by Trump being completely run by Israel. Well, but then, then I think the probably what NPR is referring to was like this like pro-Israel contingent is like all the people who were like are betrayed by Trump because he didn't like nuke Israel or nuke Iran. Oh, the neocons who are betrayed because he hasn't nuked Iran. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that like pretty much goes exactly what they were kind of saying.

Second thing is now we're bringing up women. We're bringing up women in power. We're bringing up Erica Kirk. This is the Turning Point USA's Women's Conference. The Turning point. The turning and burn. Turn and burn. I didn't mean to.

I didn't mean to say turn and burnt. The women's turning burnt. The women's turning burnt. The women's turning pert. Okay, now, fuck, you can't say something wrong to me, and then I'll have it. I thought it was amazing. I thought it was really cool. Point point point.

Point. Pointing. Now, we're going fuck funny now. Toining point. The women's conference, 2026. It's not even saying it. It's not even, I can't even see it anymore. No, you got it.

It's, look, the women's turning points. women's conference God, I'm gonna pull right down. We know it. We know it now. Anyway, this is the first time

that Erica Kirk hosted the whole thing since her husband's died and she's out here emphasizing how much we really need to be submissive to our partners and I'm like,

yo husband dead. How much submission can you do, Rich? You can throw yourself on his funeral pyre or what? Like, but you're gonna go

sleep on his grave? She would love to. to be like shot out of a cannon directly like to his tombstone. She would make a great cannonball. She would make an amazing cannonball. Just like evil can be able and just flying into his grave. But at the

conference is just telling these women that they can't have everything, but they can submit and have as sort of some of it. And then the women are, well, the women are turning around saying that they can, you know, they're turning around and they're like, oh, well, we

actually can have everything. They're like just not really listening. The women in the audience aren't buying her her calls to submit to their husband. Well, they were buying it, but they just seemingly adapted it to fit. Like they were like, the message was not all women can have everything that they want. And then the women are just kind of like taking whatever they heard and like repeating it in a way where it's like, oh yeah, actually we can have it all. And that's what they said. Okay. Okay. I think I kind of understand. I'm not really understanding it, but I think you're identifying a dissonance between how they are acting about what they're hearing and what they're actually, what's actually being said. Maybe. Okay. Well, one of the main standing points of this whole thing was

fighting against modern. Sturning perts. Sturning perts. starting pertin's one of the main things is this is like rejection of modern feminism because they think that it's leading women into the wrong type of womanhood when like we should go be referring to biblical womanhood

instead um but also like they don't even really know what modern feminism is and a lot of them barely know like it's the classic American like American Christian thing of being

like, oh, it's just whatever I'm doing is the Christian way to act, you know? Right. I also like, I'm like, what is their conception of feminism at all? Like, I think it's, it's just like, it's probably like third wave, just like liberal. Blue hair. But I doubt they have any kind of like extrapolated critique of that. I think it's just like anything that's not women in the home is a form of feminism to them. Yeah. Like a women having a job or something. And it's probably, that's probably part of the dissonance that you were pointing out, Jock, is that a lot of the people there, I'm sure, had

like, are all women with jobs and fake MLMs and, yeah. But that was the thing, it was like, they were interviewing this. Women who, like, have craft and shit, you know. Yeah. They were interviewing this one white woman

that looked like a burnt tortilla with how much bronzer she had on and her fucking broken down blonde hair that had been, like, completely fried permanently. There's no amount of moisturizer that could fix.

And she's sitting there being like, you know, this is really for women entrepreneurs. And it's like, no, it's not. They're literally telling you to go inside. Let's say this. You get the mic. You're at the women's turn and print,

you know, conference. Lana del Rey song. Okay. Total lot of dollars. So you're there. So you're there. You storm the stage.

you get the mic. What message are you delivering to the women of turn and print? And like really inhabit this character. You're on stage. You're talking to a thousand blonde women with the scariest blue eyes you've ever seen. And there's enough fucking water

in their Stanley cups to fill the Atlantic Ocean. What are you saying? Like half of them are vodka. It's like Russian root. Half of them are vodka, half of them are vodka, half of water. And you don't know. Yes.

But let's really set the stage. Let's really get an image. What, if you knew you were going to go on stage and speak to them, what would you wear? Right. Let's start there. Chanel suit. Like, pants, like black and white, kind of, uh. No, no, pink.

Okay. Hot pink. Like a Jackie O. Yeah, Jackie O. Just, just imagine I'm dressed as Jack. I can already see it. Pillbox hat. I come out. Women.

Wemen. We women. us women together we are women today is a turning point for us where we decide willingly to go back into the kitchen and go back into the home it's time that we we start popping out more babies than we can possibly take care of and i know that other speakers have been saying this but it is of utmost importance that you hear me out because i'm the most important speaker women you need to get babies in Europe and make them make the babies lots of them have them even if you can't afford them because that's what turning this America to the point that we want it back at is about okay okay

I want to hear I want to hear read not U.S. character I want to hear what your genuine beliefs are how would you wake them up what would what would you yeah how would you shake them out of the trouble they're in that might actually work honestly you're just repeating Erica Kirk's message but dressed as Jackie O with your beard and like it would totally scare that. But no, Jack, seriously, seriously, what would you say? You get the mic, you have uninterrupted, you know,

a couple minutes to... I get on stage and it's complete silence and I look I don't smile and I walk from one part of the stage to the other, complete silence, slow walk, gazing with judgment at the ground. It's like a lion pacing

its enclosure, yes. You point up to the ceiling and they turn the house lights on. And I'm holding my hands behind my head, my, you can't see anything. And then I pull out one of those mini air horns and I blow it into the microphone. And I say, wake up! Very literal understanding of the prompt here. How do you wake them up? I'm going to scream wake up at them.

And then they wake up and it's the first day, second grade. Continue, continue, please, John. Then it's going to get really extremes. Okay. It's going to get really extremes. So just blow out a microphone with an air horn. Everyone has already have their hands of their ears. And I wait till all the women slowly put their hands down.

They're still frightened. And then I pull out a rape whistle. And I blow that as loudly as possible into the microphone. And I go, rape! Okay, amazing. And then I say, rape of the American women's values. Today, we are facing an extinction of our values and the decimation of our beliefs. People, we need to gather together as women and become the man's guide.

Guide the women with the men, the men guide the women. What are your actual beliefs? You keep reverting to this weird Erica Kirk character, which I love. But I want to know what I want to know what you would actually. What would Jock Gonson's message be? Hey women, you can go play Sudoku whenever you want. And then by and then that way you are free to do whatever you want all the time. I think it's just something as simple as getting them hooked on something.

Okay. To remember that they have free will. Okay. Not a bad place to start. So yeah. I do think these women are all probably losing hunch to thousands of dollars a year to like Farmville or whatever. Yeah. I do think this is a.

Well, they're already they're all. I was watching a lot of. of the women going to this conference and they're all like four or five year attendees. So and the tickets aren't cheap. Yeah, they're getting fleeced. So they're already dropping thousands of dollars. Yeah. I think, I was just thinking like, what is like a game that a right wing kind of woman would?

Because like for liberals, they have wordle. Yeah. I think that- Scrapple is also very lib-coded. Yeah. Like, I think the right-wing people, maybe the, like, I don't know, what's the, right, like, the National Review

has a wordle type game called racial, where you, like, it shows you a person, you have to guess what race they are. Right. Right. You have to decide which ones should be deported first. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's, it's a, it's a swiping left or right game that's

built just like the dating app, except it's called right or wrong. And it presents an idea or a person, and you have to swipe left or right left if it's wrong and you swipe right if it's wrong and it's like gay trans Christian so like a picture of Carson Cresley comes up and you're like left okay got it got or like words no or it could be a concept a picture of Israel comes up right and it's a conservative app right and they swipe right because they love it I do think they would probably love that

there is something to that jog I think that like that could be a powerful hypnotic or kind of like ideological tool. Yeah, because it's not even a game. It's just like reinforcing your bias. It's like flashcards, but for... It's flashcards for bigotry. Can anyone who's an app designer get at me?

All right. Yeah. I think you should make that app. So nothing else do you want to say to the women? Yeah, get a tampon before that thing bleeds on the seat. See, that's what I was hoping for. I was hoping for something like that, you know. Okay. Let me try again. Women. One last time and Jock, just the assignment here, say what your honest thoughts on these people

are. Don't be in character. Just what are Jock Consolence thoughts? Think about it. Women. Women, you only have one opportunity to control your man. And it is in the time that you give him a blowjob. The success of this one blow job could determine your control over your man.

What are you doing to make sure that you. withhold control without him knowing. Ladies, answer this. Anyone in the audience? Hmm. See here. It doesn't look like you give blow jobs. Period. God. Okay, I don't know. It's a woman who's jaws wired shut because her husband punched her in the face. It's a woman who got the jaw cancer that Roger Ebert got your jaws. They're completely missing.

I can tell you don't give blow jobs. You give more of a slop job. Slop job is so good. HB. Don't cook the jaw, bitch. I wish I knew what to tell those women to save them, but I think there's no saving them. Actually, if I was going to be honest and be like, look, women, there's nothing that y'all can do. Y'all are at the bottom of the barrel of beliefs and lifestyles. There's nothing that you're going to do to fix yourselves.

Y'all all doomed. Period. Yeah. It's something I would say. I'd probably just tell them to kill themselves. But yeah, I think that's... Actually, I would love to sow more discord. I'd probably go up there and just...

give some Candice Owen style lines and be like Erica Kirk is a um god damn it what happened jock nothing well tell me what happens is your local not recording your didn't record any track okay no stop just let me just no it's recording okay okay period it's record it really was recording i just sometimes when it goes to the bottom of the screen i get paranoid and then i'm like they're gonna kill me today. This is the day they stabbed me with the Trident and say... It's like sliding down your screen. Like it's wet and stuck to the wall. You mean it when it goes

to you put it at the bottom of your screen. I didn't mean to. Do you mean like minimize it or something? It got minimized or something? Here's what I would do to so disport. Here's what I would do. I would go up there and be like, they want us to wear COVID masks. They think that we need measles vaccines. I want to show them we are strong.

Our immune systems are strong. everyone pass your drink to the person next to you and take a sip and then like because half of them have alcohol in their in their drinks and they're going to be embarrassed they're not going to want to have the other half have water they're going to want to pass they start you know there's infighting yeah because carol's actually drunk yeah and now you have proof yes that genius hessa that's genius the way that there is a hundred percent an alcoholic woman named carol Oh, 1,000. She's from the Midwest. Her hair is not long, but it's tall. Yes. The classic.

Speaking about sewing discord in the Midwest, I got into a fight at Planet Fitness today. That was extremely refreshing and personally, like, very rewarding. Put me in a great mood. I was talking to the like completely overwhelmed single attendant at the Planet Fitness, because I think Planet Fitness is much like dollar tree and that they keep their prices really low because they just hire like one employee until they get so stressed out that they have a stroke and they just get a new like teenager or like, you know,

completely broke adult in there. There's a new towel boy. Yeah. And I feel bad for these people. So I'm like, I'm always very nice to that. And I was talking to one of them at the counter because I like needed to like change my membership. And this dry fit,

Heather gray polo ass. pig father, just like disgusting man, walked right in and like attempted to summon the employee away from me. But I was like in the middle of getting something done. So rude to do. I need a red light

therapy machine for 10 minutes. He was like trying to book it. And I looked at him and I was like, no, I'm being helped. You have to wait in line. There's a line. And he was like, well, I'm late. I'm just, it'll take him one minute. And I was like, well, I'm in the middle of conversation. He's in the middle of helping me right now.

So you have to wait, and why don't you have a shred of decency for the general public? Of course, I'm referring to myself as the general public. General public. I have three stars. And guess what, bitch, I got three stars. And he was just like huffing and puffing, but he let it happen. And then he's, of course, now standing watching me talk to the employee. And I'm taking my sweet time.

And I'm like, oh, well, you know, I'm going to be traveling a lot. And what membership do I have to be on to use a plan fitness? anywhere and how much is that and oh can i change my card i was like you really dragging it out i love doing that to this guy and finally got that done and then i was like oh one last thing could i book 10 minutes on the red light therapy table and i don't use the red light therapy table um i have a red light sauna at my home so i was like whatever um and i didn't even use it but i went in there and i sat for 10 minutes just like completely just basking in the glory of this anger you had caused this man yeah Fuck that guy.

The inconvenience I was causing him. And yes, fuck that guy. And so I got out and I was like, you fucking asshole. And I was like, what? I was like, sorry, you're late. Sorry, you suck a time management. It's not my fault. Describe this guy also.

A total pig, Midwestern, just white. But like white with that like red sheen to him, you know, he's just eating a lot of red meat. Literally double-dryft golf fucking crap. Plastic addict. pig, okay, the amount of plastics that are leaching into his skin on a daily basis would kill me. You know, like that kind

of guy. Spiky white hair, I'm sure he was driving a big old suburban, you know, just a real real, real piece of shit and probably also like a total drunk. And I would imagine he's using the red light table because he listens to like

Andrew Huberman or like Joe Rogan and he's now trying to be like healthy, which is hilarious. He's probably like on the carnivore diet. Very, very right wing coated. And I was just like, don't forget to wipe down the table when you're done with the machine. And then I left.

I do hope I see him there again. I do hope I see him there again. I will crash out. I don't fucking care. And I'm also like, I kind of a little, I wish that he had hit me. I'll say that much. Ben, you need a fight so, you need a fist fight so bad.

I feel like it would release. I would not have hit him back. I've got a different way I win those. Okay, but just hypothetically, if you knew there was not going to be any legal percussion, and you and a gentleman could just have a sparring moment. You wouldn't take that. In the words of Jovon, you know the law.

Exactly. I know the law, baby. You know the law. I mean, I guess I would have enjoyed a fistfight with him, but it's not really my style. I think you would smile a lot after. I think you would act like you do after you take mushrooms, relieved and a little bit less stressed. Oh, I felt amazing after that. Because again, like, he is, he, that I, you know that guy spends his life.

You just absolutely yelling at employees and like cutting lines and just truly does have no respect for the general public. Yeah. And this will probably make him more antagonistic. and, you know, completely evil towards service people and little gay guys as well. He now probably has an even bigger chip on his shoulder. But anyways, that's one. That's just my conflict minute, my conflict update. Those are a great one.

I did enjoy the Whole Foods one more, but, you know, it's not every day. Hey, you've got to take what wars you can get and what battles you can win. And you deserve to win them all because fuck these. And also, let me just. on principle, the worst thing that this guy could do besides just showing up and being entitled is, I hate a cutter.

I think that if you Oh, it's just like, it's I had a whole family cut in front of me at the airport in Lashem. And they were like, well, sorry, we actually have a flight we need to get to. What do you think that I'm here at this

airport for, bitch? You don't cut lines, though? You seem like someone who's laid her a flight and would cut a line. No. At the airport, if someone is like truly late for the flight, I don't mind them. They were not late. I will let them, but it depends on how they do it. It depends on their method. If they're just trying to push ahead, die.

Fuck you. If they're like, I'm so sorry, but I'm super late for this flight. Can I please cut you? Of course, go ahead. It depends on how they do it. I was like I went to high school with and I went and I messaged him after that. And I said, what the fuck about your family needed to go ahead of me? And then I just watched y'all sit down and order food.

You people were not in a fucking rush. Oh, so you knew this guy? I knew him and his entire family and they're just super rich. And they're just flashing their wealth. We just needed to get their fucking sugar injection. Did they say like, hi, Jacques? Like, listen. No, they completely treated me like I was some fucking invalid.

Hell, hello, guess what? Guess what? My dad delivered one of those fucking kids. You can't, you can't look some guy in the fucking eye. and say hello. Not only did we go to elementary and high school together, you can't look at my eyes and say hello, you stupid motherfucker. So they didn't even talk to you.

They just like went. Look, I was waiting in line at United and they said, hey, she's waiting for us. And I said, excuse me? And I said, no, this line is it. Well, we have to get in our flight. And I was like, someone was just already in front of you in the line and the rest of the family showed up.

Is that what happened? Ten people. And I was like, uh-uh, uh-uh. And they were like, Yeah, I'm kind of, It's just some bullshit. Yeah. And you know what?

I have clear too, so I was, even after that, like, you people don't even have clear and you're that rich. Losers. I will say, though, it's not, I find that, like, especially when you're, like, in a line for something and someone, like, shows up and joins the, like, person in front of you. it is like I would never say like unless it's like

a hundred people or something and there's a huge line like I think if 10 people join one one fucking placeholder in the line I would probably be like wait what the fuck like yeah yeah

this is insane I really wish I could remember it's oh his name is bin Como fuck you bin Como and your faggot family you asshole I'm not bleeping that name yeah

Don't. I don't need it. I don't need a bleep. Shut. Hey, did he respond to you? No, but Ben Como, if you ever hear this shit,

guess what? It wasn't his family. You were a lanky motherfucker. Completely different person. Yeah, completely different family. I don't think you deserve it. Your wife looked way more beautiful and out of your league.

You're a cave man. You have a hot wife. You have a great job. Fuck you. Fuck you. You don't deserve it. You have a hot wife and you're rich. And you succeeded in cutting me in life.

And Ben, with the guys that you hung out with in high school, I bet you were secretly gay, you looked like you jerked off a guy before, you faggot, you faget. Show me a picture of him. I want to do a gayface analysis. And then also while you're on his profile, please read the message that you sent him. You have two assignments. Hess and I will hold it down while you pull this up.

Yeah. So what would you have done? What would I have done? I wouldn't have cared. If I'm not late for my flight, I don't give a fuck. Like, I'm going to be waiting one place or another. It doesn't, you know, I, it does just, uh, it does stress me out, like, waiting in the, like, not being past security. Just because I'm like, ugh, I still got to do that.

Yeah. But, um, this AI picture of himself that he uploaded saying see yourself in the 80s. This is, this is why he should. Oh, right. So we're dealing with an extremely low IQ individual, that's for sure. Yeah, yeah. Okay. This is him, this is him normally.

Do we, don't we think he look gay? He looks gay. Yeah, he's got some gay face going on. Don't do that much. Guys, straight guys, don't do that much to your hair. The more that you do to your hair, the more that there's a routine, the more it looks like you put a cock in your mouth and a cock in your ass. Yeah, he's handsome in the way that a crow mag.

Oh, not me just accidentally liking his profile picture. What is this building? That is the Taj Mahal, Josh. Are you sure? Yes, I'm positive. Wait, let me see another photo of him. I want to see if he's hot. Oh, he's engaged.

Chase, Kish, Shada. Oh, yeah. That real Kajun couple. Oh, my God, wait. Okay, wait, update really quickly. I have an audition for a movie as a Kajun character. who's a stepfather. Wow.

Let that sink in me. I don't even know the name, but my friend Ruby, who's a casting agent gave it to me. Alex. Wait, is this the girl that did the movie with Alex? No, that's a different movie, but she has her own casting company, and she's been, she does a lot of. She works with, she worked with Telfar models casting agent for some kind of. This is another scam. No, it's not a scam.

All they need is my banking info, y'all. They're transferring it all over a million dollars. Jacques, what is the movie about? The movie's called Peanut Butter. Feature film, roll, mark, 40 plus day player. Okay. Okay, peanut butter. Should I read the log line?

Yes, yes. Go ahead. After moving to his late father's hometown of New Orleans. 14-year-old Jamie spends a summer exploring the tender, confusing, stirring of first love and identity with his neighborhood friends. A portrait of youthful ambiguity to film captures

the fleeting magical time before desire demands definition. So you're playing one of the fathers, the various Cajun fathers here. I think you should message Mark. It's a 14-year-old. You should try to be the 14-year-old. It's Mark with the C, so that's a

very C-A-R-C. So that's a very C-A-R-C. And I'm supposed to, my age is supposed to be 40s or 50s. Okay. Race says any. Racist. Racist. Relations says friends have Jamie and Sam's family.

Okay. Now, this is the part that really. Race last place. Description. Cajun grifter at Emily's baby shower, talking to Nicole and Jamie's mom, two or three days of filming. Oh, that's perfect for you, honestly.

Practice the character. Practice the character. I want to see you. Let's do a little self-tape right now. Say, hi, my name is Jock Conslin, and I'm auditioning for the role of Mark in peanut butter. And, you know. Let me try.

I haven't even wrote that. Just ad lib some lines. You know, get into your character. Well, let me, okay. Oh, shit. Wait, let me. Okay. Hey, me got it don't.

There's some good cake, man. There's any more beers in here. Hey, hey, what a crawfish at? Get some pot going on. Yeah. That's not bad, honestly. It's pretty good.

Hey, Sha, you got some more beers in the fridge? There we out in the cooler. I almost drink all the beers, babe. Hey, babe. When we're going to get out of here, shot? I'm ready to go. Okay, have a, have a conversation. We would like to, me and Hess are the casting,

we're talking to the director and the producer here. Huss is the director and the producer. We'd really like to hear you ad lips lines with Jamie, the 14-year-old confused boy in this coming-of-age story. Mayway, that's how you kiss a girl, Shaft. You take her down to the bayou and give her a big, and if that don't work, you got to ride a gator straight to hell, ma'all, chef. Pure me.

Yeah. it. Oh, Jamie. Oh, my God de don't. You one of them boos. Oh, my God, they don't. Oh, no, you're a gay. Apparently, this movie is about a gay kid, I think.

A gay teacher. For the context of finding out the idea. Can you please play the 14-year-old gay boy? Yeah. I would love to see a iconic. Where they like, like, where Zendaya is passed as like a high schooler, but it's Shock. I would fucking laugh. I really? I'm very confused

of why I have these feelings for my best friend. Matt, he just... I will be a... Period. You know, Masha is in New Orleans filming a movie right now. Wait, what the hell? Should I go hang out

with her? Yeah. Tell Masha and send me a... I need a... I'll give you a... I need a flash guard. Yeah. Do you remember? remember who Masha is. Hey, Jamie, man, you, you're gonna

be one good kid. Even if you gay, Masha, every Crawfish deserves his day. I think he'd be an amazing actor, Chuck. I think he'd be an amazing actor. Yeah, Chuck, honestly. This is a successful endeavor for you, and I hope that you become famous.

Can everyone... As a 50-year-old father, stepfather, I should say. Just a real quick request to anyone listening. If anyone could help me become more famous, TV, a film. Do you want to hire me on something? I'll just say it before the episodes.

Yay, very fun at gmail.com. Just come on. Help me get my career going because... What's your dream role? Give the people something to chew on. From a role you've seen that you think you'd be good at. Maybe some lines you remember from the favorite movie spoken by a favorite character.

Maybe you try to show this people. I did this in film. I did this in film when I took this film class at community college and they make you recite one line and I did this thing as Otis from the devil's rejects. Okay. He's like, I am the devil, and I'm here that do the devil's work,

and then he kills them. You know, that's a quote from Tex Watson before he killed Sharon Tate. the mansign writers, right? Really? Yeah. We know that you're... I love that you're becoming

an actor, but you are already quite a painter, so I'd like to describe some paintings to you and see what you think of these paintings. At the end of the episode, you should give me three sentences, and I paint paintings

based on that, and we come back next week and I show the paintings off and describe them. That would be lovely. I, um, okay. Um, what about a large canvas of Scrooge, Scrooge McDuck holding an AK-47? Is that a cool image? Yeah, of course. I would love to do that.

I would, I love Scrooge McDuck. That guy had, look. Well, these are already made. What's your art criticism on it, perhaps? Oh. Yeah. I would like it. I mean, I like, uh, ducks and I like guns.

Well, I don't like ducks, but I like some ducks. I like cartoon ducks. ducks. What about... How are the junk? Yeah, yeah. A cutout image of Marilyn Monroe against a heavy collaged

background in a style that... Uh... Oh, never mind. Yeah. Erection. What about a paper machet Adrian Brody with a Bosquiat crown painted over his head? Flaccid.

What about... Okay, this is my favorite one. This is my favorite Adrian Brody artwork. Um... One corner of the... the gallery has a large table of different flavors of gum alongside stick it to the gum wall.

A collage work without a central cartoon character. So it's notable that this one doesn't have a central cartoon character. This is a stop you there. I'm going to stop you there because whatever you're describing. Let me finish real quick. A wall text beckons viewers to chew, stick, and tag a piece

of gum to the collage as an expression of rebellion and decay. It was early in the night, so few had left their mark, but there was a gum rendition of the Israeli flag stuck to the canvas, partially covering the word violence. I'll leave you to make sense of that. I think that that is the most deplorable piece of art combining some of my least favorite themes, Israel, violence, violence. I just think, gum, gum. I don't think there's ever been an act against the, art community that's been so downright despicable and disgusting.

Whatever this person who created this disgusting piece was trying to explain or create is a foul-minded monster that should be put down violently at gunpoint. Well, it was Adrian Brody. Well, fuck him. Who gives a shit about that pianist? He never did that much for me. He is an actor that has never done that much for me. Name a movie that you liked with Aegee and Brody.

I can't think of one of the comedy. I do think he's really hot. He's really hot. I love him in blonde where he plays Arthur Miller. I loved, I actually like him in a lot of movies. He's great in, uh, I didn't, you know, the brutalist, not very good, but I think he's good in it, I guess. I mean, he's a completely ridiculous person off the camera. I like, don't understand him or his vibe at all because it's just so fucking corny.

I respect. I would have imagined that age. and Brody was a little bit more aesthetically inclined, but his artist is like this literal fucking garbage. I can think of a much better artist as slash actress. Who's that?

Rosie O'Donnell. Jack Gonsolin. No, Rosie O'Donnell. Exit to Eden now and then. Those are two amazing movies that she did. Was she an artist? Yeah, she paints beautiful paintings. Are you kidding me? You've never seen her paintings? I have not seen her paintings.

things. The sound portion of this exhibit is heavy reggae dub beats composed by Adrian Brody that blasts through the gallery. Yeah. That's real? Completely ridiculous. Wait, what? The Israel thing? Sorry, how

so people voluntary made an Israeli flag out of gum? No, I think my theory on that is that Adrian Brody, like, to kick things off, like did both of those, like, made violence out of gum and then the Israeli flag and out of gum and then put them on top of each other.

Oh, those were the prompts for their, you know, kind of daycare-style activity hour. Yeah, yeah. He was kind of like, I think he was like the one who put that stuff there. And I don't know, it could go either way of like he, like Israel or hate Israel. I have no idea. Yeah. I'm going to show you all a painting. This is a painting that Rosio Donald made for a foundation that raises money for abused children. And somehow that was also the theme of the painting. I don't understand how she's conveying that through this. All right.

Let's see it. Jock, describe what we're looking at, please. It looks like a fat turtle with wearing a cross. It does look racist somehow. There's something about the character of this person's face that makes me think that she, is racially inclined. I think that person is supposed to be a priest, Jock, not a fat turtle.

I do see what Jacques means, though. I totally see the turtle. Can you screenshot it? Screenshot it. Take a screenshot on your phone, darling. So who painted this one? This is Rosie. Rosie O'Donnell.

So it's just another person just stealing from Bosciat, basically. I hate how many people steal from Basqueo. like the easiest bar to enter is like colored pencil scribbling, you know? Yeah. It's literally like, oh, they see Baskiat's work and the thought isn't like, instead of thinking critically about it, it's like, oh, this looks like shit, I could do that. Yes.

And honestly, they can. I mean, I see all these like Baskiat rips. I'm just like, I don't know if that's him or not. Yeah, yeah. You know, Bosquiat rips are annoying, but there's nothing more annoying than the post-life of Keith Herring. Like his post- Yeah, he's another. It's also like- Yeah, it's just spread too thin. It's like the value of his shit. I'm going to say, he seems like he was really annoying, though. I'm basically simply off the art. His face. And what he looks like. It's because he looks like a- He looks a lot.

like a certain person who I'll just say he reminded me I'll bleep that because that is no longer in the name. They looked alike and there was all of this just like they do look alike. I never thought of... aesthetic like posturing that like was completely vacant at the end of the day.

That being said it was much more on the part of this other person. I don't really know what Keith Herring's thing was about. Actually I have no interest in like fine art like at all and I'm I feel not qualified to really talk about it but it all right to me. It's like Like, it was a big whatever for me.

The person that we were just talking about, not Keith Herring, but the person that we used to know. Somebody that we used to know, no, this person me and Ben used to know from from Denver Town. He was one of those, they were one of those people that really. And I don't know what's going to know. We were all like 22 and like completely deranged. I was a much worse person.

I mean, I just remember that she was obsessed with taking pictures with black people in a really, like, weird way. It was like a posturing. It was like, oh, I'm only gonna upload pictures. And that does sound like something Keith Harry would be. That's also what I was kind of... I do think if Keith Herring was like born in the 90s,

he would definitely be one of those people. And by that, I do mean transgender. No, I'm kidding. Transgender. Who knows? I mean, respect to him, whatever. I don't know that, man. I do not recognize that.

Respect to Allah. Respect to the law. Respect to Allah. Bringing that one back, yes, of course. I miss her. What happened to that bitch? I have no idea what is going on with her. She was the it girl.

This is the woman who. Ojaiba. Randomly popped up in Pakistan because she had married a 19-year-old boy and then demanded that she become like the leader of Pakistan. And she was attempting to allocate local funds. Karachi for buses and also for herself. Yeah. And then she came back to New York and she had like a little moment, but Oneisha. I don't know where Oneisha is anymore. But she really struck a court with chalk.

She was the culture. She was the moment for a moment. She was the culture. Telfar gave her clothes. Telfar did give her clothes. Yes. And did that make you feel like you wanted to go to like you wanted to go Yeah And try what he did

Right Yeah why don't you do that job Preclose I don't know I haven't tried I don't try much You should marry a 19 year old boy in Pakistan I'm okay I appreciate that

It just doesn't sound like something I would be up to You know I just I don't know Jacques in Pakistan It could be fun but I don't I'm not sure if it would I think it's the right fit. I mean, she had fun.

She had a great time. And they seem to be really, like, entertained by her. You know, I do think you have. I think I would choose a different place. I don't think it's going to work just doing it again in Pakistan. It has to be like. Well, I think I think China and Japan and Korea. I think Korea specifically would be major for you.

Yeah. Oh, Taiwan. I'm not sure about Taiwan. I think that I would enjoy Taiwan. Thailand, maybe, but Singapore. They see a lot of guys that look like you in Taiwan. Thailand, if you know what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah.

Bald? It's part of it. I don't know what. You're making a very stoic face. Fuck you. European pedophiles. I was like, dirty European.

I was like, is there a bunch of bald people in Thailand? I was like, that's not just a dumb or it's about to be like, there's a lot of bald white men in Thailand and they're fat. Yes. And they are also, yes, very fat and red. Red skin I do think I mean I think you would have

I think you could get really famous in like East Asia for sure with like a game show or something you know as like a presenter just with the way you look and your voice and your demeanor I think it's something that they would find compelling

There's this woman named Charmika who I used to be really good friends with from this area and she moved to China and she's been living been there for like 15, 16 years or longer than that. I'm extremely jealous of her. I know. My cousin, my cousin just went to China because he's like a genius, like a language genius and knows like eight languages. And he keeps going to like different countries and like for like

a month or two and then mastering the language. That's so sick. I'm so jealous of people who could do that, who can do that. I know. It's like, I wish I could like speak every language on earth. I know. You know, Max is in Taiwan? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Max is in China.

Special shout out to Palma. Be careful. Careful back. Yeah. Cultural attach. I know, girl. Mainland China, aka Taiwan. Give it back to China.

Yeah, give it back. Let's give it back to them have it. It's fine. Literally just let them have it. whatever. The Taiwanese seem annoying. I don't really get what's going on there, but my instincts are telling me that the Taiwanese are annoying.

It's also, I think, if China nationalized everything on Taiwan, like it would completely destroy the AI, like the US AI economy. Because that's... Because it's like where they make all the chips. Yeah, yeah. It's like the one place that can make the chips. Chips and dips, hon. Period.

Yeah, it's off there. He'll eat them. Chip Island Chip Island It was so Ship Island was so beautiful God Wait what is I said

Ship Island Ship Island is off the coast of Louisiana No off the coast of Louisiana It's off the coast of Mississippi Oh All like by Biloxi Mississippi And you take a 45

to hour long ferry And there's three Barrier Islands that are considered the Gulf Islands and it's ship island, Horn Island. And I think there's one other. I can't remember the name. But Horn Island is where this artist, Walter Anderson, would paint these famous nature and landscape art. Do you Google him, Walter Anderson.

He went crazy in his later years because of exposure from his old school. I mean, we're talking like... The old school mosquito spray was this giant shit. DDP. Yeah, whatever the spray shit, it was obviously super unregulated and could lead to like mental incontinence or some sort of mental inclinence. Some kind of mental incline. Mental incontinence. Yeah, Sonny.

I love these. No, I love that. I love that area. Alexi's look really beautiful. Ben and has a love to take. iconic golfers iconic i would go jack i'd like to go y'all we should go to ship island and then go to the walter anderson museum or vice versa order i think i'm gonna winter in new orleans i think that's my plan to never to escape winter is to just get like one of those long-term rentals there i was talking with nicole about it

i mean i'll just rent a house i'll just literally just rent house because they're cheap and then you can come and stay i don't care and then jock can come and stay and we can like do something in new Orleans. Yeah. But can, can you try to visit at one point? I don't know. It depends on how he's behaving. Yeah, of course.

If I'm in New Orleans, I'm going to visit you, Jack. Yeah, but wait. Now, what I was going to? Jack, you will have to come to New Orleans. Although I would, I'm thinking about being in New Orleans for like three months and then leaving after Mar-Dagraussway. So I'd rent a car and I'd come out to Lafayette, but I'm not driving you around everywhere.

So look, this is my thing. You are driving me around everywhere. Let me explain why. It's the thing. You will be doing that, bitch. I really wish that either of y'all could come visit before it gets cold, which I know we still have a while, but ship island was amazing. I got to go back there, ASAP. That was the most beautiful thing on Donald.

I love Dauphine Island as well off Gulf Shores. Dauphine. Like the, some kind of, like the marine laboratory research place. There's a marine laboratory research place on it, yeah. That's where they built me. In Alabama? I can't go back there, y'all. You're talking about Alabama?

Yes, it's off the coast of Gulf Shores, Alabama. Yes. Okay. There's a town in Alabama, Gulf Islands. Okay. We went there in like middle school for like a marine biology research, like, school trip. We were there for like four days and we got to go walk on the beach.

beach at night. It was so fun. Yeah, it's actually like the beaches. They're like Loki really nice. I mean, I don't know what the water temperature is like in the winter, but I'm more just like, you know, I love New Orleans. I miss your own so much and I want to just like spend some really, I want to have an extended

stay there because it's lit as hell. And it also doesn't give that cold in the winter. It's like 60s minimum. Yeah. Not that bad. No, really not that bad. Not that bad at all. I'm so hungry for a Dropping hints we're at 56 minutes. Okay, what smoothie you're going to get?

Something with blueberry peanut butter, banana dates, cinnamon, and dark cherry and chocolate and cacao powder and vanilla. you look so strange trying to remember everything you wanted to smoke are you making this yourself really really dedicating all of your brain power to listing this ingredient sorry it's been a long week I'm just getting back to normal

right because you went to an island went to a barrier island and now you're exhausted all I had to go to was the barrier island I showed that doctor Go to the ER I'm extremely jealous I would fucking love to be on a Barrier Island wait what

Yeah Why fuck what doctor? What? I said fuck that doctor that said that I had to go to the ER Oh because you had AIDS Jock had an AIDS scare recently Can I say that? And it's my AIDS

My problem And I need it now And I need it now I need to clarify jock does not have AIDS nor HIV yeah correct is that correct okay now we'll see but you were taking the you were taking PEP and you were like I don't think you understand it made me so sick it made me so sick ever you were like the clinic doctor blocked my number because I kept calling and saying I don't like this medicine it tastes bad well the clinic doctor you have AIDS you have AIDS stop calling

us you're going to dog. Yeah, stop calling us, go to the ER instead of calling. Go. The clinic doctor first, you hate it that much. Y'all, so the clinic doctor first did block me. And then he unblocked me and called me after hours after the office closed on his personal phone number. And he was like, why did you leave me this message where you were cursing and freaking out?

Y'all, what happened was I, huh? No, no, I left normal message being like, hello, this is a shock. like please i'm having these issues then one minute later i called back and left a better message an hour later an hour later uh i called hung up except did not actually hang up

and so i'm going god damn it is an answer and i'm like crying in the background he was like i have it hey as as i'm talking i'm also crying in the background you can hear me crying

those two so he heard that voice me How long was the voicemail? He forgave me, it was probably a minute. He forgave me when I explained that I didn't mean to record that at all. And my intention would never. I didn't mean to. Wait, so it was literally like a voicemail you left of you going like, oh, my tongue.

Fuck, God, damn it! Why is anyone listening? Why is anyone answering? You are obsessed with leaving recording devices around and then be, being like, I'm so sorry that got recorded. And I'm also going to kill you now. Kind of the theme of last week.

I want to bring up what it has. Benin Hester are referencing that I blew up on them because of the recording of my mom. And then they're saying above the recording, going, shock is so mean to his mom, which I'm not on. I also called you rude to your face and said you were being mean to your face. So there's no bits of information that were on. We kept telling you be nice to your mom.

There was not a single bit of information that I said while you were having a tense discussion with your mother that I did not say to you on camera. Look, I just in the moment was frustrated because I had heard that there was no one coming over and I should, I want to record it. I would have recorded from a room. Like a dog puking. You should always record from a room. I did my mom.

I did my mom. room. I have to record from a room. Do you understand how absurd that is? Let me just say something. After that, I did a favor for my mom and I showed her appreciation. Well, that's beautiful. And I all know you love your mommy, Jock. I love my damn mom. So don't ever. We all know. Nobody ever. Nobody get in the kitchen. What favor did you do for her? Yeah, what did you do for her? I told her I wouldn't come and record in her living room anymore when she has people coming over. Unless I have to.

I cleaned out. I pulled all this shit out of a closet and swept up all of the gross shit because like a raccoon had gotten in there. Oh, that's nice. What was in the closet? There was a raccoon living in the closet.

Fur? And there was poop from the raccoon. Yeah. I had to put on a suit. I put on my best tuxedo. Well, no, like a French made costume.

Like a shoe and gloves. In a mask. I gave my mom a little tease in my French made costume. I'm so judge. You sick little pervert. You stupid little dance. I had to do our favor.

So I put up my French made costume with my miniskirt. Put on my skivis. All right. Well, Hopefully whoever is doing some kind of animal sacrifice in your mom's closet succeeds in their wishes. It's the neighbor that once knocked him my mom's door before he bought the house next door and asked for a tour of the house. And my mom said, no, I don't know you. And he was like, well, I used to live here.

And she's like, still know. And he's like, well, I love what you did. You don't anymore, bitch. And I love. And he had broken into the house and seen it already and was describing different things that. He had seen throughout the house. Yeah. And this guy in my childhood, I'm pretty sure, was crawling through the upstairs.

And there's a way you can. It seems like there's a way into that house. It seems like there's a, yeah, that's the obvious. Also, not even to give the details, but I found out I heard a story for the first time about how this guy had actively driven to my mom's neighborhood and was walking around the neighborhood looking for me to kill me. really crazy. Okay. All right. Can you tell us about that?

Oh, I'll tell you all later. But y'all have a wonderful night. Thank you for, yeah, yay, very fun. Have a wonderful night as well, Jock. Everyone out there, thank you for listening. This is a free episode. You can find bonus episodes on our Patreon. And yes, of course, book Jock for anything at Ye, very fun.

I'm just starting to do your plug for you because it takes five. Let me just say this. Let me say this. Let me make something very clear. I'll do anything. I will do anything, but I need some bookings in mid to late July in Portland. I'm trying to make my true. I need to come back to Portland.

So if someone could book me in Portland and someone could book me in New York, that would be great. In L.A., I want to be booked July 4th. But we just say everywhere at any time. Anywhere at every time. I wake up. All right. Goodbye, everyone. can't take

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