Seeking Derangements - SD 527 - 100% Slaying

Episode Date: August 30, 2026

It's Seeking Sunday! Ben here, today Jacques, Hesse and I craft some allegations about everyone's favorite new band and then take a quiz all about binaries...not just the gender one y'all. Is Jacques more conventional or arcane? Is Hesse more wild or tame? Is it "obedient" to never murder? Can you be "angelic" and have scary demon eyes?

Or if you have a small one, we can talk about that. We can talk about the transvestigation I just did. Hello, everyone. Welcome to Seeking Derangement. It's Ben. Hesse is here with me. Jock is on his way. This is a free episode.

So if you like where you're here, go subscribe to Patreon. Hello, Hessa. How's it going? Good, good. How are you? I'm slaying fresh off of a transvestigation I was doing. For valid reasons, I'm not going to bring up why. Or who?

or who, or who. But I did have a reason to conduct a full transvestigation. A valid reason. A valid reason. The sad thing about it is that once you start, it really does become all of them. Yeah. It's really, I tried to help, but I was unable to.

I couldn't give a definitive answer. Because you can't open links on your damn phone. Yeah, that's true. Or on your computer, whatever it was. I can't, I forgot my, because I forgot my Instagram password. Oh, I see. Yeah. I see, I see.

And I don't want to reset it. I'll send you some screenshots later. Okay. If you're here, send me some videos. I was like, I don't know. I have no video for walking down a flight of stairs. Hello, Diva. Welcome to work, Diva.

Hello. How's it going? Good, Ben. Your microphone sounds off. It sounds fine to me. Are you sure you're trying to turn it? I'm not trying to turn around on me, Diva. I'm not trying to turn it.

trying to turn anything. Your microphone doesn't sound good quality right now. And I'm... How does it sound to you? It sounds perfect. I'll take Hess's opinion. No offense. Jock. Hello, Jock. How are you doing today? It's just a beautiful day outside. The sun is shining. The weather is medium hot, not advanced hot. I was harassing fans of a band name Goose earlier. So where I stay is like... You think of geese? Nope, Goose.

different band named Goose? Had to figure out. A new band that only Jacques knows about. Nope, no, no, because they were very popular. So I started seeing these people leaving with these paper bags that were pink with

like neon, like neon neon neon pink with neon yellow exclamation points. And they were coming out of an alleyway and I saw them coming and I was like, hey, what are all these bags from? What's this pop-up? And they're like, it's for the

jam band goose. And I said, oh. Oh, so you're in Denver. Yeah. So I was like, oh. Okay. So I was like, okay, bet. Let me let me fuck with these fans.

So it's so funny I can tell exactly where Jock is based off what members of the public he's been harassing recently. Yeah. Well, it's really easy with them here. You know, they're just looking. They're just looking for. Anyway, so I was sitting in the alleyway, the spot where all the fans are coming out of. And I was recording a TikTok that I never published where I was like, I'm standing behind the Goose merch pop-up right after the news has broken about the allegations of the band.

And will the merch still be valuable within the next 24 to 48 hours? And these bros... Y'all, I just found out the head singer of Goose was touching on kids. Do people still want the T-shirts? Jock Onsling out. Yeah, I was like, yeah, I kept... Hey, y'all, I'm in the Goose Mersch line. They're touching kids.

They're waiting to get to the top of the line so they can touch on. kids with that band member of Goose. I was... The goose himself, what's good for the goose? It's not good for this gander. Let me tell you that one. Unless the gander's a child. I was like, that wants to be molested. I was like, now that frontman and drummer

of Goose have been accused of physical violence and drug smuggling, people are wondering, will the band keep going? You got to step it up to child touching, though. Yeah, those are cool crimes, kind of. Those are cool crimes, bro. Every, if you are, you know, like indie rocker jam bands, even, I would say, included in this. Lead singer gets

accused of drug trafficking or money smuggling, whatever you said. Those are cool crimes for them. You got to go pedophilic. That's like what Tony Montana was doing. Yeah, exactly. Lead singer of Goose frontman caught in a child breeding sex trafficking scandal where he was breeding children to be sold across international lines. Right. That's where I'm going through. Oh, here you go. That's what you're going through?

That's what you're going through. No, that's what they're going. Jacques, you got to get, it's got to be like crazy specific. So like try this. Like, did you know the lead singer of Goose was on a forum in 2015 and he was posting as, he was a hypnotism forum and he was posting asking how he could hypnotize kids to get into a van? I'd believe it. Yeah, yeah.

I would totally believe that. Yeah, for sure. Goose frontman caught again in a public bathroom trying to sound with the public plastic utensils found at said Central Market in Denver. Okay. Yeah. That's not bad. That got better. Okay, okay.

Leith frontman of Goose has been caught yet again in the alleyway of Denver's, Rhino District soliciting sex from stray cats. There we go. Mm-hmm. Ha. Soliciting, asking them to have sex with you? Please. Yeah.

Yeah, why not? Videos of Goose Frontman offering $700 to an in-responsive cat have led allegations of animal abuse skyrocketing for the ban. $700 to a cat and being arrested for animal abuse. Wait, do you guys have thoughts on geese, the band geese? I don't know if we've ever talked about geese on the show before. It's kind of past their big blow-up moment. But what I've heard, I'm kind of like, it's like I'm happy that 21-year-olds have pavement again.

Yeah. It's kind of the vibe I'm getting from them. We talked about the rise and fall of geese. Can you check your mic inputs real quick? because there's a little bit of like a distortion. Do you hear anything? Hello? Yeah.

Oh, there is like some clicking. Yeah. There is. Try just like plugging it. Just talk. What did you eat today? What did you eat?

A croissant, half of one, not a full of one? Yeah, it's definitely happening. Yeah. Unplug and re-plug. Period. Wait, or is it still happening? Is it still?

I feel like I'm still here. No, no, no. That was, I have a fidget toy. Oh, okay. iconic. Okay, Jacques. Oh. No sound whatsoever, darling.

You're muted in the, yeah, I think. Still can't hear you. Oh, try talking. Hello. You can hear you breathing. Hello. That's better. Yeah, that's better.

You fixed it. Great. Amazing. Goose. I prefer R.M. Oh, you want to talk about geese? You want to talk about goose? What do I prefer?

Brittany. Spares, not no Addison Gay, fake Louisiana. I'll tell you that much. She's literally from Louisiana, dude. Well, it's fake of her to not represent Louisiana at all fronts.

I mean, you don't even, you're there like one day a week at this point, bro. You really live in Denver? No, in Denver? No, Louisiana. No, Louisiana. You live such a nomadic lifestyle. Where do you stay when you go to these places?

You just have like friends. Yeah. I mean, girl, me too. I know what it's like. I'm moving to Brooklyn in three days. Oh, period. I'm going to Brooklyn. I'm staying at my friend.

Actually, a friend from New Orleans. I'm staying at her. Iconic one bedroom rent controlled in Fort Green. Oh, period. Nice. It is designed like a whorehouse. I'm so excited to be in it. I cannot wait.

I've actually never really lived in Brooklyn before. As long as I did in New York City, I was only in Manhattan or Queens. Oh, wow. I'm a little excited to see what the Brooklyn tea is giving. If you guys have any, if anyone has any wrecks on like some giant cafe that you can go sit out for like eight hours with the laptop, let me know. Oh, um, I would love to do that. My favorite place in that neighborhood, Ben, is called Cafe Palette, and they have really good French onion soup there. Ooh. Okay. Yeah. And it tears. And the lady's super nice. It seems like nice. It seems rich. I'm right by the park. So I am excited to do it.

My friend used to live in a house that was in Fort Green that was on Law & Order twice. Okay. So I know a thing or two about Fort Green. Talk about murder. Darling. Talk about it. Period. Goose frontman, accusive murdering geese front man.

I would be ashamed if I was goose post the success of geese. I imagine because of the genre, Goose has been around longer. My friend opened for geese and they did a prank on the audience. And they were like, my friend did the like worst opening of all time. Kept yelling at the audience to be quiet, starting over songs, called her manager on her quote unquote manager on the phone and fired him on like on stage on speaker phone. Oh, that's a really good prank. Yeah, yeah.

It's amazing. I would have called the manager and said, more pedophilia. They can't stop touching on kids. What? Anyways, we have a quiz today, guys. This one is a little bit different. We're stepping back into the laboratory. So this is a different site I found for quizzes because we did almost all of them on my main quiz site. Quiz. Are you? It was LRDR Labs or something. I don't know, some kind of like pseudo-academic website that did have good options, but as I said, I think we did all of them. So this is gonna, the quiz, you are not getting the same question. You will at some point, your questions will overlap, but there's no way

to synchronize these quizzes. So you'll both be getting different prompts. I'm gonna give you two words, Jock, I'm explaining this for you. I'm giving you two words. Let's say rain or sunshine. So you need to say I'm 50% more of rain than I am sunshine. Or I'm seven. 75% more rain than I am sunshine, or God forbid, I'm 100% more rain than I am sunshine. The same applies to being more sunshine. Does that make sense? Well, yeah, because I'm 61% rain, and I'm 39% sunshine. Exactly. So, Hesse, you're up first. Okay. Creative versus conventional. I think I am 91% creative. Okay. And I think I'm a little conventional, but I would say I'm a little bit creative, if you know what I mean, darling. I was about to start to say that I think she is 1% conformed. You forgot. No, shut up, stop, stop, stop.

Oh, you think I'm 99% creative? I think you're 99% creative. I think your only 1% of you is conformed. Or what was the other word? Oh, thank you. I'll bump it up to 92. you forgot it was conventional. Yeah. Conventional. Yeah, I don't think I would ever describe you as conventional. Yours are frugal or lavish.

Okay, I think I know how... I am 100% lavish, lavish, zero percent frugal. I've wasted everything I've ever been given to me, and I am continuing to be a wrong choice maker. Period. We're off to a good start. How much do you have in your bank account at the moment?

Do you feel coming? I don't want to discuss that. I don't discuss that. Whatever it is, it's less than you think. No, no, if you're going to have negative money in a bank account, but I guess you can. Actually, you can. I did yesterday. I wouldn't know.

No, I'm kidding. Of course I know very well. Hesse, yours are alpha versus beta. Okay. I think I am, okay, Jacques just held up a phone that says, oh, okay, that's the number. Okay. That's more than me right now, actually, because I had to get a hotel room. for my friend's wedding.

Oh, period, girl. But you know what? I would like to say alpha, but I'm a bit of a beta. I would say, give me an even 50-50 on that one. Even 50-50, okay, fair. Because I'm, I can lead,

but I'm also receptive, I think, at times. You know, I can follow. I don't mind. I think you're the most alpha mindset, which is not needing to be alpha. Yeah, that's true. That's true. I gave myself 100% alpha on that. Let's move on. Jock, creepy versus disarming.

Okay. God damn it. I absolutely hate these questions because I feel like... I was honest on this one. I said 75% creepy. I think I'm much more creepy than I am disarming. I think not even creepy but intimidating, I would say. Yeah, but that's still closer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the polarity, whatever the hell you call it. I think I'm 75%. I think I'm 70%. I think I'm 75% disarming, 25% creepy.

When people meet you for the first time, they aren't like... It seems like you get attacked a lot. It seems like you're trying to say that when people first meet me, they're creeped out, Hessa. Which, if that's what you're trying to say to me, then knuckle up in the alleyway. You're literally threatening Hessa right now. Well, in person, in person, though, Jacques is very disarming, I will say, when meeting, like, new people. Why would you say that? It depends on, I guess it's totally mood dependent, honestly.

Completely mood dependent and completely depends on the person. I would say that I would say when it comes to the general public, I don't think Jock would read as creepy, but I think on average, saying that he's more disarming than creepy is not accurate. People are more intimidated to walk up to Ben than they are to walk up to me, which means that I'm more disarming and Ben is more creepy. And that is my scientific, don't, don't. I said 75% creepy.

I'm being honest about myself. If we're being honest, it's 80% because you're not really given a full total for your eyes. Or your facial hair. The eyes were factored. I think the eyes are factored in. The eyes are a huge factor in that.

Also, Chuck, I'm getting, hearing the click again. The mic is happening again. Yeah. What is going on with the microphone? I'm not in Denver. I'm not sitting in that tiny-ass kitchen with you. You probably have a broken cord or something. I'm throwing the microphone.

Okay, let me check you the cord. God, let me just change out the cord. We're going to answer the questions for you while you're gone. Okay. I'm going to say for him, he's so good. I would say, I'm going to say 40% creepy. Yeah, 40 creepy, 60 disarming. No, 60 creepy, 40 disarming.

Oh, really? Okay. Yeah. Has it done's for genius. Okay. This is interesting. Mm. Because I do think that to be... I'm going to pull a prank on jock.

I'm going to say black versus white when he gets back on. This not a real one. Perfect. Okay, what do you? Sorry, Dotswish. Was the clicking stopped? Yes, the clicking has stopped.

I believe so. I said Dunts versus Genius. Dunts versus genius. I think to be a true genius, you have to be a little bit of a dunce. So I'm going to say, 70 genius, 30 dunts,

you know, because I'm also a bit of a goofball. I'm a bit of a goofball. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But in the way real, real geniuses have to be. And often are.

eccentric, you know. I agree with you. I basically gave myself the same ones there. Jock, your next one is black versus white. Well, specifically racial. It's not racial or it is racial? It is racial. It's specific it says black versus white and then in parentheses

racial question. The part of me... Hard one for you. The part of me that... Your inner black woman. The inner black... The part of me that listens to James Brown

I was just I was just trying to finish your sentence for you Because you know best friends can often tell what the other one is thinking And I knew you're thinking about evaluating your inner black woman I was thinking I wanted to say 100% black not because I think of myself as 100% black But because I would prefer something that's 100% black versus 100% white

Well it's about who you are Yeah Not about your preference. But it seems like you said you're 100% black so we can continue. Let's continue on. Let me, let me explain my answer, please. Because I feel like I would be aligning with white supremacy to say that if I had a choice between white black race.

It's not about your beliefs or who you, you're so always. You said the racial. You said it was racial. 2020 did such a number on you. And you're like, no. It's about who like, like, what you are, not necessarily about what you believe. I'm 100% white.

It's a little racist, but I'm just really proud to be 100% white. I feel like the only time I've ever heard anyone say 100% white is when they're like literally a Nazi. Yeah. I don't want, I just can't win with you too. Today y'all are worse than, y'all are worse than guards. It's okay. Oh, Jack, I did one with Hustle while you were gone, so I needed to catch up.

Are you creative or conventional? I'm 100% creative, zero percent conventional. I would agree with that. Yeah, that's an easy one. Pessa, yours is strict versus lenient. Okay. I think I am

lenient. I'm like 80% lenient, I would say. I was about on the opposite end. I gave myself 80% strict. Period. But also, it's like I'm not very strict with myself. Yeah. And when it comes to certain things, I'm either

100% strict about some things or 100% lenient about others. So that's why I gave myself like a slight lenient. If I, it depends on the situation I guess because they're like, you know, if I had to be strict, I feel like I could do it. Unless it's with kids

who, you know, I volunteered once in Roxbury at an after school program. And they were like, listen, you can't come back because the kids bully you. It's very, and you got to stand up to them. So why don't you do?

Yeah, they were like, thanks for coming, but. You're too lenient. Yeah, exactly. Bullied substitute teacher kind of vibe. Mm-hmm, exactly. I would be, I would be yelling at them kids. Jock, spiritual versus skeptical. And this is also a racial question as well.

Well, that doesn't make sense at all, but. I'm kidding. Don't like that. A hundred percent spiritual, zero percent skeptical. That makes sense to me as well. The painting, the fact that you are, you really are not skeptical at all about anything. Like anyone can tell you anything. There's certain things he's extremely skeptical about, but I think given this question, it's about, you know, a belief in God or higher power or, you know, you're a tether to the cosmic world.

I do believe that despite not being up, are you a part? do you have any kind of organized regulated religious practice in your life i pray when i wake up and when i go to bed and i right do you pray for people or do you just say like a general kind of god bless my life kind of prayer god bless my fat ass life i'd say dear god please bless my family my friends please best kaila alex bin hessa Russell, Jack, Jack Ryan. Jack Ryan, the CIA character.

God bless Jack Ryan, Jim Halper, Bart Simpson, and Hello Kitty. There's Jack McGregor and Jack Rye, and they spell their names differently, but I can't say JAQ, you know, they're both the Jacks. Well, God, you're saying to God and God knows. But, but honestly,

very, so this is like a Myspace top eight of some sort. Do people ever get demoted? So it's every person that starts off that I'm thinking about that I want to see that I've been talking to that I had, and I mean like literally been talking to that day or something. Not just like someone I'm like dating or something. I wouldn't. But like after listing every single person. Hessa, are you still doing your fidget spinner? No, I'm not. The clicking is definitely back. Everyone out there if you're hearing some crazy, I don't know how this audio will render, but if you're hearing some insane clicking. I don't know what it is. it is not hess's has is not going crazy on i'm not going crazy on the fidget spinner i put it away i put it down that interrupted me okay i would go get a new cord but we'll we'll rocket today i changed the cord i changed the cord i changed the cord after after recording can you try a different port on your computer sure okay well that's settled let's get to the next one the next one is obedient or rebellious hessa that's for you okay this is tough this is tough

Because, I don't know. I like, I'd like to think I'm a little rebellious. But the truth is, I'm not sure. I think that, hmm, I don't know. I think I am 60% rebellious, maybe, because I will, I'll obey if someone gives me a good, a good command, you know? if someone gives me a benevolent command to follow I'm not afraid to obey it

but if someone was like if it was like 1984 or something and everyone was like you would rebel yeah I would rebel I would absolutely rebel Jacques are you okay yeah I'm fine what

period just listening to your rebellion story movie day Jack charming versus awkward I am 80% charming, 20% awkward. I honestly have changed from the entirety of the beginning of the recording. I'm very easy and honest to work with now.

And what I could... So scary. This is so scary. If you have the time to share... I'm going to let that one slide and we're just going to keep pushing. And we'll see if you live up to your word. You got it, sir. Yes, sir.

Absolutely. Anytime. Good to be here. I'm very glad. Thank you. I am now someone else. It's so scary when he switches personalities like that. I don't like that.

I don't mind it at all, but it's what I would call a little disarming. I'm really sorry that if you don't like that. I'll try to change my attitude for you so that you can have a better experience. I'm having a fine time. Oh, well, then I'm very pleased that you're having a fine time. I'm grateful. Thank you. I'll make sure to include that I'm grateful to God.

to you tonight when I'm thinking of you during my prayers. Okay, period. This is so, this is so Christian passive-aggressive, like bullshit. I'll think of you extra heart and I pray tonight. I'm praying for you.

I hate when people say, I'll pray for you. And when it's not completely, it's completely earnest and that's a beautiful thing. But when it's said, when it's dropped at certain moments with a certain affect, it's like, that's someone who believes they're better than you. Yeah. But believes they're better than talking direct shit.

So they're just being passive-aggressive. and, you know, it's insane. Jock, your next one is haunted or blissful? Okay. Well, if you want me to answer, honestly, I feel about 80% haunted and 20% blissful. I'm constantly haunted by the horrors of the past. I agree. I'm not even trying to be a little bit dishonest

when I say that I think I am happy maybe 20% of the time in my life, period. So I'm as haunted as beyond. say song haunted. Period. Word. And that's pretty haunted. That's about 80% dollar. Now, Hessa, please answer this next question. I'm so excited for your answer. What is with the attitude? Your next one, Hessa, is adventurous or stick in the mud? Okay. I think historically, like as a kid, I was the stick in the mud. I was always afraid to do stuff. And I would be like, you know, my brother and cousins would go in a big pond. And I would be yelling

Oh, same girl. Don't go in the ocean, no. Yes, yes, yes. He's so scared. So I think I do retain some of that stick in the mudness, but I'm not afraid to get a little adventurous. So I'll say, I'll say 50-50, I think. Okay, fair enough.

That's a very interesting answer, Hessa. Thank you, Jock. You're welcome. When he's like this, yeah, it's really disturbing. Okay, Jock, your next one. is artistic or scientific? Oh, this is a very interesting question. Thank you for asking me.

In order to answer this with a quiz, I think I'm going to have to be truthful when I say that I am in fact 99% artistic. You're 99% artistic. What's your 1% scientific? What's your 1% scientific? What's your 1% scientific?

I was trying to think of. Recipes are, you know, a science. Making addibles are science. But I don't know if you do it necessarily by the gram, by the weight, by the ratios. But science can be an art sometimes, you know? Right. That's just what that shows.

Right. I mean, I like to push the human sodium levels beyond what people would expect. Scientific in the way that your life is an experiment. Yeah. Yeah. Your body is a tapy tree dish, if you will. Right. My body is a wonderland.

And the clicking is back. So, what is? I'm not sure if we should even. I can't answer the question for you. I don't know. I'm not there. It's not my mind. Well, it is my mic, but I have not been in possession of the mic.

Why don't you, why don't we see what it's like coming through your computer? Yeah, try switching the input to the computer. What in the fuck is causing the click? I don't have zero idea. I have... I don't know what it is, but I think you sound a little bit better now. Hessa, your next one is... Hessa, did you just do one?

You just did one. I lost. Yeah, so am I. Yeah, Hesse, we can do it. We can do you again. Okay. If you didn't, just go. Wild versus tame.

Okay. I think that I... Depends on how many drinks I got in me, doll. I'm going to say, you know what? I'm 50% wild, 50% tame. I'll split it right down the middle. Let's say 48% tame. There we go.

Yeah, 48% tame. 52% wild. Yes, good man. It's shock. I did, I did about 80% wild for myself. Period. Got that dog in me. Jock, slovenly versus stylish.

Slavenly is just like, kind of drab, kind of drab and, you know. Yeah. I think I'm not, I think I'm 100% stylish. I don't, I agree with you on that. I don't, I don't, I don't dress without intention. Yeah, that's, yeah, that's undeniable. Hessa, orderly versus.

chaotic? Um, I'm like 95% chaotic, I think. Wait, I got an answer back on the trans allegations. What was it? What's the verdict? She is cisgendered. Period. So it's so funny, out of context, the idea of you asking someone is so, like, I know that's not what happened, but it sounds like you were just like, are you trans? I'm like, are you trans?

I asked a more sneaky question to get to the truth that she was hiding from me. And she's cisgendered. Okay. So we're in the clear, everyone. We're in the clear. What's the appropriate response of being asked if you're transgender and responding with I'm cis? Like, how are you supposed to deliver that? That's just a fine way to say it.

There are ways. Yeah. There are ways to get to. The truth. Have you ever tried to kill yourself? Can I see your wrists? No, kidding. I've got tricks up my sleeve.

And they're not slit wrist. Period. They are not. No, I don't do that. Orderly versus chaotic, how so? 95% chaotic. 99% chaotic, I would say. Really?

Yeah. Can I be honest? I honestly thought it was going to be 50-50, because you do have somewhat of an order to me. Oh, thank you. you are completely. That's why I'm doing 99 because I'm like I that one percent is you. Yes, absolutely. I went 50-50 there personally. Yeah. Although I probably should have gotten more like 75% chaotic. Jock, social versus reclusive? 100% social. I mean, I admire some of my alone time, but like I would say I, unless I'm home in Louisiana, I spend 99.9% of my time around

people constantly. All right. So 100% social? Okay. Has a juvenile versus mature? Ooh. She's... I'll let her answer.

I think, well, I do play video games. I do go to bed late. I do cry and scream when I don't get my way. Right. I am going to say I'm going to say

55% because I wish I was more mature, I think. But I'm going to say, you know what, I'll go 55% mature, 45% juvenile. Okay, period. I went, I think I went 50-50 on that one, just right down the middle. Yeah, because I'm very much, in some ways. You strike a senior cord for me. But in many other ways, I'm extremely. juvenile and like I mean I don't own a home I don't yeah I have a bosbin I don't have I'm 31 I'm certainly not hitting benchmarks that I should be but then no one else is ever you have to wait it by the class of people you belong in yeah yeah yeah we all most of us have some kind of arrested development so that's why I went I'm 100% if you're judging by trans women oh that's what I'm saying yeah yeah yeah yeah I'm getting I think I think I think

y'all both have the ability to look incredibly old but you also could look really young it just depends on the day and how much water you've had well that's sweet thank you jock your next one is sarcastic versus genuine i would say that about 75% genuine 25% sarcastic really you being sarcastic nope i'm being serious but if you want if you have any thoughts otherwise i would love to hear them please please tell me that's sarcasm right there that's not being sarcastic right now i'm you've been sarcastically overly agreeable the entire episode no no what you're i'm i am first of all i just like to it's either that you're having a psychotic break where you're like a christian woman yes i'm i'm having a psychotic and i'm now a now a christian woman and what i just want

to say is i'm so sorry that my actions have been misunderstood oh shut the hell up pass it your next one is angelic versus demonic. I think I'm going to go 70% angelic, 30% demonic. Mm-hmm. Because rarely, rarely do I become demonic, but it does happen occasionally. I've seen it, but I agree with you. You're very angelic. I did mostly angelic on that one.

Jock, orderly versus, orderly versus chaotic. Well, let's see. I think in spite of what people think, I'm actually 40% orderly and 60% chaotic. And I want to say the reasoning behind this is because I do have a set of rituals that cannot be broken that follow me with every place. Okay, so the autism is order. That's more obsessive, though, than orderly. But there is an order to it. do hear his argument we what are

yeah smoking weed smoking weed eating food I have to watch TV before when I wake up and I have to sleep at night and I have to watch TV before bed I have to blinking I have to at least listen

the one song a day I have to at least drink two different caffeinated beverages or I'm going to kill myself I have to every day I have to shower as soon as I wake up and I have to shower before going to bed and if I go out and do an activity I have to shower after that if I've worn an outfit to one

activity I have to change and my I can't wear my outfit to two activities I can't I mean I hear your argument here I'll grant the 40% I have to drink down was 60% chaotic 60% chaotic 60% chaotic and 40% 60 cent per chaotic 60 cent per I'm trying so hard has to deranged versus reasonable well this is seeking derangements

so I think we're freaking crazy here you guys yeah we're crazy I'm gonna say 100% deranged and no I'm kidding I'm kidding you're really reasonable I would say I'm pretty reasonable I would say

like oh my god did you hear that thunder I did it's storming up town too. It's a spooky day here in New York City. It's spooky. I like it. Um, okay, so I'm gonna say I'm 75% reasonable, 25% deranged. Hey, only, only thing unreasonable about Hessa is that hair and it's unreasonable. She doesn't own the hairbrush. I'm just kidding. Oh, smack down. You actually have very beautiful, perfect and Kim Tare, and I'm sorry I said that. Drop Dutz versus Genius. Oh, this is a very, very, very, very, very, you actually. interesting situation.

I would say I... That's exactly what a genius would say. Keep in mind. When hearing a question. What a difficult formula for me to solve, which I can. Well, in theory, everyone thinks of me as the jokester, the trickster, the idiot, and that is my success. However, you can think that because I've been acting this way so much as an idiot

with such success that I am in fact a genius. You're such a dunce that you're actually a genius. You're a genius that it must be on purpose. It has to be on purpose, is what you're saying. It has to be an act that you're putting on. You're so masterful at being a dunce. Only one, only someone who is actually a genius could pull that off. No one is ever saying, God, Seth Rogan is so unkempt and just so.

Well, people love him for that reason. Yeah. They're like, God, he's a genius for being such an idiot. So your answer is 100% genius? No, I'm not a narcissist. I was going to say 70, 60% genius, 40%

Duns. Okay. Because I think there's a secret mind brewing. A secret mind brewing. What does that mean? The mind underneath the idiocy that's brewing underneath is, it could be

smarter than people could think. Brewing is a very scary word. Why is that scary? It implies that at some point it's going to... At one when I'm going to burst with intelligence and reason. I mean, I would actually love that. So keep letting it brew, sister.

Yeah, I keep picturing you like roller skating in circles, waiting for your friend, and then you see like an equation in your vision of like, this is exactly how I need to slip on this exact lemon to fly into the door. Well, the lemon slipping was unplanned, and I should have learned from the first lemon slip that it was a mistake that I was going to make twice.

But, you know, sometimes you got to make a mistake twice to learn. Sometimes, yeah, sometimes you have to not learn from a mistake so that you can learn from it next time you make it. It's how babies learn not to crawl off a cliff, you know? Yeah. My friend just- They crawl off twice. Exactly. The way my friend caught her baby to not crawl off the cliff was that she just put it on the roof, an edge of a roof, and said, don't fall.

Hessey, your next one is Bossy versus Meek. Okay. I'm like 90% meek, I think. I think you're, I don't think you covet conflict, which is a good trait. The Mitchie will inherit the earth. Yeah, I am too meek, though, at times, I would say. And sometimes I'm bossy. So I think 90 is a good number.

Okay. Jock, indulgent for sober. I am 96% indulgent, 4% sober. This is a very honest answer. I commend you for your bravery. Yeah, I agree. I think when you've been hit this many times in the head, it's just the achievement of sobriety and a bribery.

brain thought scale is nearly impossible. The brain thought scale is a beautiful metric. Wow, that was poetic. Has that nerd versus jock? I'm just describing the situation I'm in, y'all. I'm just describing what I'm seeing. Period. 100% nerd.

I don't think I have a single jock aspect to me. I think, well, I did beat, I did beat someone at arm wrestling one time, a very strong person. That's what a nerd would say. Super quick. Yeah, that's what a nerd. Super quick question, Hesse, only honesty. Would you rather be a jocke or a jock? J-O-C-K.

Okay. I would rather be neither. I'm going to opt for neither. Well, I guess jock. Yeah, I would love to be a jock so that I could play sports and such. know. Yeah, exactly. Be a trans woman in

sports, take over well. So first, first they won't let trans women in sport. Now they won't let jocks in sport.

This is ridiculous. I'm sick of these jocks trying to play male sports. They're fading. They're fading. Jock deranged versus reasonable. Um,

I think I am 50% reasonable 50% deranged. Ben is clicking his eyes together and looking at me, holding his tongue. He's twinking out right now, as if my answer was inauthentic. Ben, please just, if you don't mind,

taking just one really brief moment to think. It's reasonable what you're doing right now that you're yelling at Ben for looking at the screen. I just think it is. I just want to know what his honest answer between reasonable. 100%. 100%.

100% I think. Miserable? What did you say? Unreasonable, which I'm saying deranged. You know, deranged is, of course, maybe not the most opposite to reasonable, but I would not call you reasonable. So you think I'm dishonest. By any extent.

There's nothing about honesty here. I heard the word honesty come up in your mouth. Well, I mean, that I'm giving you. I'm giving you a, I'm giving you a heavy 90%. Fine, fine. I'm going to change my answer and I'm going to go 75% deranged 25%

arranged reasonable you've completely forgot see this is what I'm talking about has an outlaw versus sheriff she's a cop for show I was 100% outlaw here I'm going outlaw I would rather

be an outlaw I think this is what this is where this is the horseshoe theory one for me I was like I'm such an outlaw I'm the sheriff of outlaws being an outlaw yeah yeah You're like Billy the kid, kind of. Yes, Benny the kid. Or Aladdin.

Prince of Thieves. I'll take Aladdin. Hessa, what was your answer, sorry? I would, you know what? I want to say 100% outlaw, but I'll say, I'll say 50-50 on this one. I'll split the diff. Well-balanced. Jock, masculine versus feminine.

This is a hard one for you. I would say I am 60% feminine and 40% masculine. Okay, yes, Devo, we're good. No, I would see it. I would maybe even bump it up on the femininity for you, from my point of view. What do you look at at a picture of me with a person or something? What's your point of view here? What are you looking at a picture of me pushing iron?

You have a deep, deep, you have a lot of feminine energy. I do. Yeah, that's, I agree. I think I maintain a fluctuating amount and that's very feminine what's more feminine than fluctuating

that's a blue collar versus ivory tower hmm ivory tower she's so ivory tower she's got the eye yeah yeah I think yeah

maybe 85% ivory tower 15% blue collar because she does because she does like the blue collar comedy tour. I've seen her watching Jeff Foxworthy videos. Oh yeah, she loves it. I love them.

Jock, bossy versus meek. I think I am 20% meek. 80% bossy? 80% bossy. Yeah, that sounds about... Yeah, I agree with that. I gave myself

about 70, 30 there. I mean, you get a certain situation. I can be a huge pushover for certain people, like the women run my life. I would never really boss them around. But in almost in every other circumstance, I'm extremely bossy. Yeah, yeah. That's so charming versus awkward? Well, what's more charming than being awkward, darling? Period. I think you're really

charming. I think I'm pretty charming. I'm going to say maybe 80% charming. Hell yes, honey. Jock, poised. Oh, sorry, go ahead. My awkwardness has been, I've been having more awkward moments lately, though. Which I'm worried. I don't just like weird, just like where I'm, where I feel awkward. Yeah, I get in. There are moments like that for me in life too where I'm just like a little off my game. Yeah.

Don't feel as social. And I'm going to try to be. It's kind of like like, like, say something crazy. Yeah, yeah. Just like stammer, you know. Hey, everyone, if you see Heston in public, just give her a break because she's been feeling just a little bit awkward. So if she says something awkward, compensate by. laughing a lot louder than you think she would probably.

Yeah, that's awesome. That would be awesome. Jock, poisonous for nurturing. This is a very interesting question to be asked by you yourself, because I do believe that I have been both poisonous and nurturous to you. Nurtuous. You've been both poisonous and nurtuous to me. I'm going to take...

It's not about me. It's about kind of... Well, I'm thinking about all of my relationships, but I'm also thinking about how your face is going to react to my things. Oh, my God. So I'm going to... Do you want me to turn my video off? You seem to be really struggling with my face.

I'm not struggling with your face today. I think it's fine. I think you're projecting a sense of, you know, self-doubt. You seem to be obsessed with your face. Yeah, and I have no problem with your face. I think I am, honestly, I'm like a beautiful... snake. I am very poisonous, but

very beautiful. So 60% poisonous, 40% nutritious. Okay. Like any snake. Like any beautiful snake. What do you think about me, Jog? Do you think I'm more poisonous or more nurtuous? I love

you. I definitely think you're more poisonous. You're like a scorpion with a stinger. Really? Yes. Oh, my God. Ben. I mean, I'm not even trying to be mean, but come I don't think so. I mean, I'm just curious about what your opinion is. I mean, I knew you would call me poisonous, but.

You sting and it leaves, it leaves a stinging effect. Ben is quite motherly, if I must say. I think I am. You can be motherly, but you can also be poisonous. Like a scorpion has babies. What was the last thing I did to you that was poisonous?

Telling me to fix my microphone. asking you to have good audio for the one hour a week I have to work. The last thing that you did was that was poisonous was that you were uninterested in hanging out with me. But that's what? No, let me think of something better. I think you just realized where 5,000 miles apart and half of them for quite a while. And then I talk to you like every day on text. and record with you.

Last poisonous thing you did to me was definitely you spoke about me to someone in a way that portrayed me in an unflattering light that I'm not going to mention their name on here. Your P.I. No.

Anyone has a new one. The P.I. My most nurturous friend hired to surveil me. No, get over yourself. Don't think... What do you mean? Get over myself. It did happen. That didn't happen.

That was a long... It did actually happen. First of all, you've been pranked. That was a long term... I don't have to run anything back. The back has been run. You're run. I'm back.

You're fat. I'm not. Get your dick suck because it looks by the looks at your face, you haven't. This is what we call it diversion tactic. Okay, poisonous thing that you've done to me is that you... didn't invite me on into your emotives again because it seems like you invite all of your other friends and if I feel poisoned from the well of fun and livelihood

and I also feel like you haven't booked me to DJ any of your parties which feels very... What parties? Well, if you would just have a party I would be there to DJ but you never want to... I think we have a poisonous on it Look, look, look, look, last thing, last thing. If you're not giving me water to make me into a beautiful blossoming snake flower, then you're just poisoning me and to die. What's the last nurtured? What's the less nurtuous thing you did, Chuck?

The last nurturing thing I did for someone else? Yeah. I hand put together a package to ship to y'all gifts. That is true. That is very sweet. And I asked twice for your mailing addresses because I was very adamant about getting getting them right we sent them both times

because you forgot and forgot to send it for like two months the last which is fine I'm just saying yeah Hessa frugal

versus lavish their answer is gonna piss me off just because I'm just they them Hesah you just they them to me

what the fuck I burped I didn't ever they didn't ever they did oh my you said their answer

I burped there T-H-E-R there what yeah that's the yes That is there.

T-H-E-I-R, you would say that with a man-woman or a they-v-M-V-V-E-A. Hessa's answers are good. I like their answers. No, no, no. You're they theming me, dog. You're continuing to they them-h-H-E-R- There. No, yeah, we're on the same page. That's what that word means.

You can use it for a singular person, but I... There is a possessive word used to show. that someone belongs to or relates to a group of people or things. So what's this one again? The lavish or frugal? Hessa. Lavish. Hessa.

Hessa. Let Hessa answer. I'm going to say 90% lavish, 10% for. Period. I gave myself, I think, 60% lavish because yes, while I do travel a lot, I do so on a shoe string of fucking budget. and I also live at home. Yeah, I'm pretty frugal.

I'm very terrible with money. Oh, me too, me too. Ben is very frugal. He always asked other people to take money out of their ATM instead of his. I gave you cash on the spot because my credit card was broken. Jock, loyal versus traitorous. Not 100% loyal. I'm making a face on that.

one. I am 100% loyal. I don't know what. I live and breathe and die. Hiring somebody to surveil someone. I have, first of all, let me just really quickly, just clear the air about this. Well, I hired a PI for your PI and I know. That's great. I'm so happy that you wasted money on an imaginary person to prove to yourself that you're conspired. I have hard evidence that your pair or a PI. I found out my PI was a Imagine you all. Present me. Bring me to court and prove by the shadow of the doubt,

have me arrested for having you surveilled by a fake man. The thing is I wouldn't do that to a friend of mine. That's fine. I just want to. No matter how toxic they are, I would never bring a friend of mine to court. This is the final statement over the PI phenomena of seeking derangement, Jacques versus Ben Mora. This is the deal.

I, Jacques Gons, have never once used a private detective. That was a long-going. bit. What I was doing was installing information into your brain over a long period of time. Look, the record's there. People can go listen to it. The records there. Well, that's also a traitorous thing to do.

It's also a traitorous thing to do to try to sign up your friend into thinking that they're being followed by you. That's also, I wouldn't call loyal. I wouldn't call that loyal. That you track, you're tracking their movements. I didn't hire Pia. I just wanted you to think I was happy. Look, I've always stood by your side. I've always started by Hussus's

side, you know. You're saying some of the most all-time contradictory things I've ever heard out of your mouth today. Well, you can believe what you believe, and I believe what I believe, and I never hire a PI because Ben is a easel-win. So trying to make me think, trying to make me think that I was being followed by API, is that loyal? I think that it neither follows under the category of loyal or traitorous. It follows, no, no, no.

It's neutral. It's a, it's a trickster's bit. It's a prankster's bit. It's it derives from the word comedy. It comes from comedy type activity. I don't think so. I understand that you have trouble believing reality and what is not real. But I guess Jock, your final answer.

Here, you know what? I'll make you happy. 100% loyal. 95% loyal, 5% treacherous. Hasseh, creepy versus disarming for you. Um, I think I'm pretty disarming. I'm going to say like 80% disarming, 20% creepy.

You seen that bitch in an alleyway in a trench coat? We'll see how disarmed you are. Hello. Period. Jock, alpha versus beta. 70% alpha, 30% beta. Has the spiritual versus skeptical. I'm going to say 80% spiritual.

I'll do 20% skeptical. Jock, Obedient versus Rebellious. Here we go. I am 90% rebellious, 10% obedient. I'll all agree on that. What was the last thing you're obedient about? The last thing that I was... Just curious.

The last time I followed obedience was that the plane required you to... I knew it was going to be about not smoking weed on a plane or something. I knew it. No, it's about you're restricted. it to bring 40 pounds per checked bag and I had two checked bags. You're also obedient in the way that you haven't murdered anyone.

Yeah, that's true. You have made laws about murder. I have not murdered people. People would be surprised some of the laws. You're extremely obedient. You can bring heavier bags so you just have to pay for them. Yes. So, but,

but it's still, I'm still following their rules. All right. Fair enough. Oh, and, um, you know, I won't wear an offensive shirt to the airport because I don't want to get in trouble. What offensive shirt does you want to wear to the airport? Well, I wore a coat over it on purpose, but it says, I'm a bitch. Oh, it says, I'm not that bitch. I'm the bitch, and that's miss bitch to you. I love that. Okay. I think that would be fine to wear it an airport.

Yeah. It's not like I have a bomber. Yeah, or a picture of O.J. Simpson making out with, like, there's this guy in underwear that's very, like, homerotic, and then on top of it, it says, made in America. And I think that would offend people, too. So I'm considering where I would wear that. Maybe so. Has a formal versus intimate.

Um, I think I'm more comfortable. I'm more comfortable in an intimate setting, for sure. You know, a few close friends, you know. I'm going to say about 90% intimate, 10% formal. I was like 60 intimate. Jock, wild versus tame. I am 90% wild, 10% tame.

And it goes with the obedient thing too. I'm obedient to health stuff because I'm scared of getting mercy again. so I'm obedient to never smoke tobacco again. I'm obedient to... What if a doctor told you you can't smoke weed ever again in your life? Well, it looks like assisted suicide in Canada. Oh. No, I'm kidding.

I would quit weed. I would quit weed if it seemed like it would make my life better. And I would quit weed. But you would only accept that device if it came from a doctor and not from your friends. No. if it uh if squitting weed will make your life better yeah i agree yeah okay i'll take it in consideration oh okay has emotional versus logical um emotional it probably will be the bigger one here yeah you're so emotional ugh disgust i'm gonna say uh 70% or 60% emotional 40% logical i gave myself the same but opposite

Because I think sometimes I think I'm being logical, but it's just like... But then you realize it's because you're being crazy emotional. I'm being a moody bitch. Same. Same. Jock, blue-collar versus ivory tower. I'll say that I dishwashed more than you two have in a lifetime. But... Well, we also worked at restaurants. I've worked at restaurants for 10 years.

14 years over... Bigger than you. I'm better than you. I'm fatter than you. Okay. period. Um, what was, can you ask a bit of question, please one of the time? Try to remember. I'm going to try to start making your synapsis, you know, try to connect one or two of them.

So what were we talking about? Reverse engineer. What were we talking about? Obedience and. No. Then what did you just, what did you say before you admitted you were fatter than me? 14 years, you said. 14 years.

Oh, because I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, uh, 90% I've, tower. Okay. Period. Look at that. See, you can think for things. 90% ivory tower. What did you answer for that one, Ben? Do you remember? 90% blue collar. You don't think you're 50-50? From a class position, no. No. I'm becoming more ivory tower. Yes. And I have a coastal elitism that is learned from about performativity, you know, trying to escape being blue collar. The gay minds. Blue collar game show host.

Got it, got it, got it, got it. Did you think I'm a millionaire? Yeah, that exists. It's also not, it's not like I'm on cable, bro. It's a YouTube show. It's actually extremely blue collar of me that I hustled and baked my own show. My dad's a carpenter. My mom works for this school system.

My dad's a carpenter. My mom didn't have a job. Your dad is an OBG. Your dad is an OBG. And your mom works in the oil fields, bro. My dad's a carpenter. It's crazy. Well, my dad is a carpenter.

Yeah. He's like a rich guy who like makes fucking... Whittles ducks or something. No, no. Don't, my dad, don't portray my dad as some like wood enthusiast. Your dad went to medical school. He's a doctor, bro. He went to medical school.

He has a PhD. I'm not saying he doesn't. I'm just saying he's, you're acting like his wood practice. He's not a full-time carpenter. He is now. Yes, he is now. Okay. Okay, he's, okay.

Hasa, artistic versus scientific. I'm going to say... about 90% artistic. Lies. You didn't even hear her answer. I'm just, I'm just, I'm just moody. You are moody. You're on one.

I don't know what happened in Denver, but I don't want to know. Jock, deep or shallow? Shallow 70% or no, no, the other way. Deep. I gave myself about the same there. Hessa, same one for you, deeper shallow. Um,

yeah, I'll do 70% deep, 30% shallow. That sounds like I like to... We cloutches a little bit, but it doesn't define our lives. Jock, nerd versus jock. Oh, easy, easy, easy. 70% jock, 30% nerd.

You are jock, to be fair. I athleticize my time. I was the one skating in 107 weather because I'm best. I think you're more jock because you do literally turn every single thing into a competition. So that's the jock spirit right there. Yeah, that is quite jocular. Yeah. Has it indulgent or sober?

99% indulgent. Period. Good for you. Adventurous for a stick in the mud. That's for you, Jock. I would say that I am 50% of adventurous, 50% of stick in the mud. That's a very honest answer. Because you want to do stuff, but it's only if you want to.

to do it. You are very, you are not anemable to other people's plans. But when you make a plan, it can sometimes be adventurous. I get to some people's plans. I said poisonous versus nurturing. I think poisonous versus nurturing. I'd like to think I'm nurturing. I don't think you're poisonous. Well, I can be. I'm going to say, I'm going to say 70% nurturing, 30% poisonous. Jock, Angelic versus Demonic. Well, I'm no angel, but I could learn. So, 40% angels, 60% devil. I went, I think I said 100% angelic earlier.

I, of course, lied. I think I went 7030 on that one. I tech versus low tech has a... Okay. She loves radios, and she loves the light bulbs, the old-style ones. What do you call those? I don't love...

Why do you think I like old? style Edison light bulb. Every light bulb. I have hue lights in my apartment. I can change the color of with my phone. She famously has a shirt that says no electricity. I'm going to say, yeah, that is true. That is true.

I'm going to say 80% high tech, because I do be fixing radios, which are kind of, I guess, could be considered like old technology, but, you know, I think it's pretty much. Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

Jock, stinky versus fresh. 90% sticky, 10% fresh. Period. You take two showers a day, though. Minimum. That's how stinky he is. No, I just, well, yeah, I mean, well, you know what? I have a body odor, but it's, I don't know.

Do you think I'm disgusting, Ben? Do you think I smell bad? All people smell bad at some point. So what I'm asking you... I smell bad right now. So you seem to be dodging what I'm, I'm asking you particularly, do you often think I smell bad or good? Will you ask me if I think you were disgusting, which is a hard question to answer, honestly.

But what do you think I'm discussing first? There's certain, I'm being totally, I mean, I love you regardless. You're a very close friend of mine, but there are definitely aspects of your life that do disgust me. But I don't put any moral judgment on that. So yes, I also think you have a beautiful soul and are capable of, you know, very deep empathy and caring. I was really sweet to say thank you. You're welcome. Hessa, it's your turn now.

Stinky versus Fresh. I'm going to say... That put stank. Oh, okay, period. I'm going to say 95% fresh. There you go. Down at Buffalo Bills, H.S. That's Buffalo Bills High School.

I mean, for the record, I gave myself like 60% stinky there. I'm pretty stinky. You, okay, Ben is actually incredibly stinky. He's one of those guys that's all. always wearing an undershirt. I literally never wear an undershirt. I wear like a wife beater, but I don't like put a shirt on top of that. I'm not yeah. That's crazy. I hate when guys do that. It's like so random. Jock, outlaw or sheriff? This one's easy for me. 100% outlaw. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Has said masculine versus feminine. Um, I got to do 100% feminine just for, or else I'll

get. For the bit. Yeah, for the bit, for the bit. It's part of this big joke I'm doing. I'm kidding. Pretending to be a woman. Chuck, emotional versus logical. Well, well, well, the classic gonsolate debate. Shall I be emotional or shall I be illogical? Okay. New personality just...

I am precisely a 99% emotional, 1% logic. What was the last logical thing you did? Lock the door behind myself when I use the bathroom. logical that's logical I also you saying that makes me think you didn't lock the door to the bathroom and some walk down you you just reminded yourself

right right right is that what happened she's right she's so it happened at the airport at the genderless knoll and the genderless one and I kept going I'm in here

and I kept sitting I was sitting down I was like I'm in here and They kept coming forward and then they took their headphones off because it was a fucking mom and someone else and like their family. You're going to be careful. They're going to jail for that. I'm literally sitting there shitting up going, I'm here. I'm here.

And the mom had headphones and the kid was like retarded or something. Oh my God. Not retarded, but, you know. Oh my God. Wait, also real quick story. One of me and Ben's mutual friends Like started dating someone And she brought the new girlfriend

To like our group of friends dinner And everyone's at the end of the dinner They were driving home And she was like It is so sad How often your friends say retard What friend of ours Girlfriend? Is it?

Yes, that's exactly who does I knew it I knew she's eating those types of bitches Okay Leap her out I'll bleep, I'll bleep her. I'll bleep that queen. I do love her, I miss her.

Has it social versus reclusive? Honestly, I'm like 80% reclusive. But when I do, when I am social, I'm social. Yes, I agree. Yeah, because you'll talk for 11 hours. I'll go, which is kind of reclusive, honestly. Getting out of the house once and yammering nonstop? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't think you do that. I'll go 30% social, 70% reclusive. All right. Jock, feisty. versus gracious. I'm going to say that I am her, hurry see him adjusting his eyes. My glasses fell down so I scooted them up. You're literally hallucin, you're literally projecting. 70, 70, I'd say I'm 60% gracious, 40% rambunctious. Totally wrong. Totally missed the mark on that. What was it not? Was this? Fisty versus.

gracious, which I will grant you this isn't, this isn't such a binary to me, but I would say you're extremely feisty. I would say the amount that you are feisty completely overrides any amount of graciousness you could have. I think you got to go 100% feisty. Uh-uh, because I am, I'm always constantly showing, getting people gifts to show my appreciation, calling people just to say. I think you would give all of your money away and you would still be more. You would still be easy. You would still be easier to categorize you as a type of person as being feisty. Yeah, I think it's, this question is, it's, I don't see these being like opposite poles of something. So I'm going to answer again, I'm 60% gracious and 40% feisty.

That says slovenly or stylish. I gave myself like a 90% slovenly on this. Yeah, I'm going to say 70% stylish, 40% slovenly. Because I do like a comfy, a comfy fit. Interesting ratio. Jock, Arcane versus Mainstream. I think I am... Also, what do you think Arcane means?

Archaic, like, fits a certain type. Archaic means like Old World, which means, like, from a long time ago. Arcane is more like esoteric. Yeah. 70% mainstream, 30% archaic. I really thought you'd go the opposite direction on that. I don't think you're mainstream. Well, cool.

Because you say I'm like, I'm hip with the new technologies and the new, the new trends of the world. And in that way, I'm more modern. You're thinking archaic. Arcane means, like, known by very few, like esoteric, like niche. Oh, okay. Well, then I am 80% niche. I already answer for you, bro. Okay.

How's that loyal versus traitorous? I'm going to say 90%. loyal perhaps. I agree. Chuck, high check for slow tech? I am 50-50. I mean, you love technology. 50-50. No, no, you're right. You're right.

I'm 70-30. 70 technology. Well, you do have trouble using it, I think. I'm high-tech because you've got to use a camera to record me. You've got to use a microphone to record me. And you do fail to do those things sometimes. Shut the fuck up, bitch. You need technology to understand

me. I have, I use a record player, which is a piece of technology that is high for the ability. And then, um, um, um, you know, there's a lot of, I use a computer. I play video games. I use the invention of the wheels attached to the feet. Right. Has so sarcastic or genuine? Okay. I got to, I got to go like 60% sarcastic or I'll do like 70% 75% sarcastic for us on. Yeah. strict versus lenient Mr. Gonsolin. I am 60% lenient, 40% strict. How's the arcane versus mainstream?

I'll go 70% arcane, 30% mainstream, maybe 75, 25. I went way arcane. Just because I'm like mainstream to me, I was thinking, like, I don't know, like demographically or something, I'm like, what the hell? I don't think that. I do be reading, yeah, I do be reading. like crazy books. Yeah.

And crazy movies. Crazy music. That's true. Yeah, I'll do 100% if it's not too late. Period. I got you. Jock Juvenile versus Mature. 70% mature. 30% juvenile.

Bro, a whole family walked in you on the bathroom. It was an accident. And shut, wait. Shut your long, unkempt hair up. Before you, you're all telling me to grow up. You, a radio addict. fucking okay

pussyhead don't go there period you know that's off limits has a haunted versus blissful I'd say let's do 50 50 on that one I was right there with you yeah jock selfish versus

altruistic 65% selfish 45% altruistic has to fight stevers gracious um I'm pretty gracious I think All right. Like 60% gracious, 40% feisty.

All right. We're almost there. That was your last question, Hessa. Oh, period. Jock, formal, versus intimate. Oh, 100% intimate. Period. All right.

I have your results here. Okay. Let me pull them up. I'm excited to see what kind of quiz was. This was a scary quiz. Okay. Hessa. You got Penelope Garcia from Criminal Minds.

Okay. It is not a show that I am familiar with, but I will tell you she is, she has bright red lipstick, she has bright red eyeglasses. She has a rose in her hair, and she's got a kind of duop blonde hairstyle. It's a little rockabilly. To me, I don't know. I've never seen Criminal Minds, but this to me, He's very much giving the, like, eccentric, like, forensic analysis. I'm looking at pictures.

Sitting at, like, 10 screens and it's like, actually, the murderer was wearing rocks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have to get to a hard rock concert. Yeah, this is like a girl that Jock would date. This is, like, Jacques. Mm-hmm. Jock's dream woman. And Jock, speaking of, you got O'Burran Martel from Game of Thrones.

I haven't seen that. but he is played by Pedro Pascal. I'm so... I don't see that at all. So aggravated. So what, how would you describe this character? This character, he's like sexy and cool, basically, but he dies, like, instantly. Oh, whoa, dying.

Instantly. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. So I couldn't be sexy or cool. No, I fucking hate Game of Thrones. I wish I could have been a TV show. You're more a Ramsey Bolton, I would say. No, I'm kidding. That one's for the list.

I need a TV. I need a TV reference that I could get, not one that I just keep... Well, these results were pulled from a database of 2,500. Oberyn Martel is kind of... So I have a description. Oberyn Martel, also known as the Red Viper of Darn, is a seriously passionate, charismatic, and vindictive man driven by a sharp intellect and resentless desire for justice.

I am so mad right now. Do you guys want to know who I got? Who did you get? It's the main. Jack Nicholson, I forget the in the Shining. I mean, that would be pretty sick. No, I'm trying to think of the character's name.

Randall Patrick McMurphy. That ran back to you, has some. One flew over the cuckoo's nest. Jack Nicholson, one flew over the cuckoo's nest. It's just not even check out with... Okay. I don't. I have not seen that movie in so long,

but I will be honest, I would have mad beef with that bitch, Miss Ratchet. Yeah, absolutely. The first time I saw that movie was in rehab. Mm-hmm. I have Mad Beef with this quiz because I want a character of a TV show that I could have been... Okay, so he's a paranoid schizophrenic, it seems. Period.

Who gets lobotomized. Everyone who was listening... After attacking Earth Ratchet. Everyone who was listening today, comment what TV characters each of us remind you of. Period. That's a good idea. great one. Let us know everyone. And until next time,

we love you, patrons. We'll be back next week with the free episode. Have this from Sunday. And adios. Bye.