Seeking Derangements - SD 65 - I Got Respected feat. John from Group Project [FULL EP]

Episode Date: May 20, 2021

This is a freebie that John from Group Project podcast and Jacques recorded this past weekend that I forgot to upload. ================================== John and Jacques chat about expecting seizures, DJ duos, tile shopping, getting respected, endoscopies and much more. Submit your questions for the Group Derangements Misguidance Panel using the foolproof form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSf03yS8uYmZO9TvzSc6lUHK_Tf3jsgT4l1B1W3bDioOIQHAkw/viewform

What up? Ay, baby, I got the potion Take a sip of this and put your back in motion Little buddy, what you want? Some violent shit, two-steppin' laid back, still wild as shit What up? Ay, baby, I got the potion Take a sip of this and put your back in motion Man, I'm like a needle in a haystack

So face back, go back to the drawing board Connect that, but can't trace that Matter back, erase that Cause on this bass track, get your face slapped And I'm straight, so don't taste that Try something different and shit, so listen and shit Speaking about what hip-hop is missing and shit I'm about to fill a void, ludicrous

Born in Illinois, raised in Atlanta Told Hammer since I was a little boy Ain't nobody like me, so they wanna bite me Fight me, step to me now, but it ain't like People swear they cite me Just cause he's like Skitty with braids in his head don't mean that nigga looks like Trick get your mind right, livin' in the limelight So picture what they'll do for my Jimmy and her Klondike

Born, born, hardy, hard Tell your mama I'm a ghetto superstar Lil' buddy what you want? Some violent shit Two-steppin' laid back, still wild as shit What up? Hey baby I got the potion Take a sip of this and put your back in motion Little buddy what you want? Some foul and shit Two stepping lay back still wild as shit What up? Hey baby I got the potion Take a sip of this and put your back in motion Only standing 5'8 but still a big shot Plus I got a big clean everyday

Stay fresher than what's in a zip I tell your man to kick rocks When I make my pit stops I'm in Then it's hard to get me out like I'm a slip Born to be a leader and not, no, not a follower Only hang with chicks that got more twists than all of us Not much of a hollerer, but I like to borrow her lips Bringing out the best in me, especially if she's a swallower Freaky diggy yellow man, and I'm saying hello man To all the lovely ladies that like to jiggle like Jell-O man

Bigger booty, small waist, put them in a small place And if it ain't no ass where I'm at, then I'm in the wrong place Veil like a bondsman, but keep em down to got pot potential Stay black like Bob Johnson, who the hell is that in that fancy car? Tell your mama I'm a ghetto superstar Lil' buddy what you want? Some violent shit Two stepping, laid back, still wild as shit What up? Hey baby I got the potion

Take a sip of this and put your back in motion Lil' buddy what you want? Some violent shit Two stepping laid back still wild and shit Hey baby I got the potion Take a sip of this and put your back in motion Jump down turn around, pick a pella cotton Jump down turn around, pick a pella hay Oh lordy, pick a pella cotton Oh lordy, pick a pella hay Jump down turn around, pick a pella cotton Jump down turn around, pick a pella hay I started recording. I'm opening up my Onadester restaurant. Orally disintegrating tablet.

What is that? 8 milligram. Anti-nausea medicine. Oh. Are you nauseous? I'm nauseous all the time lately. I feel like I don't even eat a meal or drink something without just like a little bit of a wave of nausea do you drink any water ever yeah of course of course you promise i promise i drink pedialyte i don't drink alcohol much anymore at all there you go so that's the deal well so what you got for me on the construction front what's going on in your

life do you really want to know there's so much i mean late i mean late lay everything on me i mean okay i'm gonna what i'm gonna try like not to turn on crazy autopilot there's so much going on jock just all this house shit is crazy i mean i've never personally flipped a house but it's nuts i've worked like part of the process and even being like in charge of one thing is too much yeah it's it's definitely wacky to go from doing it for work to doing it for myself uh it's a lot different when you're not being paid i can say that uh it's just it's so much money just constantly having to go out and buy shit and then just the early stages of construction are always annoying because you do so much work to like build up to the point where you can do the stuff that

people actually see yeah but by that point you're exhausted you gotta build the travises before you yeah we ripped up the kitchen floors and I'm not joking. There was four layers of flooring. And then so once we eventually got down to the joists, then we had to lay a new subfloor and that was so much work. And then we're just going to put new flooring on it and it's going to look like nothing ever happened. Oh my god. Well, at least there's two of you.

Yeah. Not just one of you. Yeah. If you don't know John's situation, he basically lives like a Tonka truck dream you know two guys both in construction hard hats working off the side of skyscrapers

in Philly I wish we did skyscrapers we'd do little townhouses and apartments or actually giant ass houses for rich people but no that would be sick if we were skyscraper guys because then you could see us on a steel beam like being lowered and raised yeah i mean i just imagined you know like a like a metal lunchbox yeah you guys would would lift the crane the plane or the sunset the cool plastic playmate lunchboxes yeah the classic big blue ones yeah okay so let me tell you something what's up you ever if you

ever happen to get uh strep um like you know whatever this is like almost a week and a half ago whatever uh i got strep throat and then it gave me this antibiotic shot and i i never in my life have had a reaction to a shot like this. What's going on? Well, I mean, I had a seizure to the Johnson shot, but that was different. I mean, that was kind of expected. You know, I was like, fuck, this is the only vaccine available. Jacques, I hate to say this,

but it's not good that you expect seizures. No, it's not good that I expect. I didn't expect seizures. What I expected is a faulty product designed by Johnson and Johnson. Okay. That sounds better. Okay.

So, I mean, that's the vaccine I got. That's what it was available for what I signed up for free. And, of course, I'm not going to get a second shot on top of it. But anyway, the point is I got strep and then they gave me the antibiotic shot for sure okay and this shit is a pain on the side of my ass like no other like i don't i just don't sucks i don't get it it's not fair to me i've just uh you know recently met someone and i'm like oh and you can't smack your ass because you got a pain in it from well from the uh strep shot how do you know someone well no one said that i mean come on you're you're taking it to uh i'm uh i'm i'm

very pg-13 uh level okay well i i came here i came here to sexualize you jock so i don't know what what to expect no no i'm just trying to cuddle and stuff and like i can't even like lay on this fucking hip i'm gonna you know, you know, I feel really old. It's happened. Yeah, no, that's what I'm saying. How do you explain it? How do you tell someone that your side hurts because you have strep throat? How do you expect someone to believe that?

But it is right that you're treatment. But that's a crazy combination. That's a crazy thing to say. I mean, I feel like everything I've said in the last two days worth of first dates has been crazy enough. But just laying everything out on the table. Well, I will say that you can find love with strep throat because my boyfriend had strep throat for the entire first two years of our relationship. Well, I'll say this. I'm looking for whatever i'm just

i just met this guy and i'm not i'm not like you know it's not that i really like him or whatever this is like a super cute moment everyone should be jealous is he gonna listen to this no no okay god no he doesn't listen to podcasts cool i. I said something about Elon Musk. So he's six. Shut up, bro. He's 25. But he said to me, or I tried to bring up the Elon Musk SNL sketch. And he was like, oh, he's Elon Musk.

And he was like what's tesla uh it was to be young to be young to be disconnected i know i feel like news just misses people here it does i'm glad you brought up that um elon musk thing only because i a theory was confirmed for me because there was some article about how Grimes had a massive panic attack after her performance on SNL and was rushed to a hospital and I did some research and the closest

hospital to 30 Rockefeller Center, whatever it's called, where they film Saturday Night Live is actually the closest hospital is the American Girl doll hospital. So I have a feeling that's where Grimes got treated. Okay, literally it has to be. It makes sense. Absolutely. I encourage everyone to go and look on the website for the American Girl doll hospital

because it's it's incredible what they'll do. And I'll say this too. You know, Elon Musk made a promise to Grimes before she did the SNL appearance. He said, I will take you to FOA Swartz to get one toy after the show as long as you do good. Yeah. And she didn't even have to remember her lines

because they get cue cards. But I guess if she didn't make any mistakes, she would get to go have a tea party with her American Girl dolls at the store. Am I wrong to just imagine that the. He's he's got to be a complete pervert. I mean, I don't like Elon Musk for any reason, but I have to also say he's he's got to be like just a disgusting pervert anyone with that fish face yeah he does he has like guppy face oh lord well what else is new how you're back from la are you so happy well i loved la great time uh great great experiences i hung out with amber i you know i uh i kissed some people i work you know i think i had one boba

drink but that wasn't enough that was like my real that was kind of a disappointment and then i feel like i could have had more meat you can always have more meat um i would discover this place called la rose cafe where it's like someone's living room and then like a tiny floor it's filipino it's been open since 1982 so you know it's good yeah oh my god it's banging the boucan i mean i was like i was losing it that sounds good yeah and then they had free refills on this like she she sold it to me as being the uh the equivalent of lemonade in what the philippines okay it was like a lemony but like lemon seed maybe two and like a little bit of maybe some kind of herb i don't know well whatever kind of tea it came with free refills of course i had six know well whatever kind of tea it came with free

refills of course i had six yeah that sounds good i want something decadent for once in my life well the great thing was is that i had two friends that i had to have lunch with so i just told one to wait there for me and i i went twice in a row i left came back in a different outfit and sat at the exact same place. Not that it was like hiding anything. I just wanted to dab before I got sweaty. That's respectful for you to dab and then immediately get changed to return to a business. Yeah, I was like, you know, business is booming and business has got to be 24-7 until we get some shit done. And I feel like you and me,

we've got a lot of shit to do. Yeah, but you and I together can definitely run the world as we've learned. Yeah, I mean, we're roaming it right now. You know what the best song by the B-52s is? No. Rome. Oh, yeah. That makes sense. Cos Thing is like the most underrated album of like

the B-52s I mean obviously like you know the two earlier ones are way like whoa but there's just something so enchanting about Rome that song like immediately makes me think I can accomplish anything and I think it's because they play it at the beginning of either like first wives club or maybe uh you know what i'm confusing it with they play it dreams by the cranberries at the beginning of um you've got email oh you've got mail you've got mail yeah that movie rules you've got email i'm glad i'm glad that you're you started talking about b-52s because okay i'm just happy that i knew a band that someone was talking about i don't know a lot about music i'm not okay the electrician that i

work with at work love him he's the best he's i think 60 older. But he is always asking me about all these bands and stuff that like are things that people that are my age listen to. And I just I'm always telling him like, Jim, I don't know. I don't know. And he is always asking me if I know who all these YouTubers are, these like fitness YouTubers. And then all he was asking me if I knew about these certain like advocates for the gay community the other day. And I was like, Jim, I don't know. I mean mean you're kind of anti-culture anti-pop culture not well that's the thing is that he was making me feel so alienated because i was like why do you know about all of this i know i know how busy you are because i work with you you freak i i love him though i would be worried

i mean have you become that out of touch we're the same age i thought right or how are you i'm 28 yeah see as i'm saying we're both 28 if you yeah just you've just suddenly become on out of touch with music i mean i don't find that hard to believe i don't i i hate people who are like oh i'm not no i'm not i'm not really out of touch i just don't like i'll hear a band or i'll hear like a band name or something i just won't investigate so i'll like know who someone is but i won't like know what the context is he's also always talking about union soccer and i'm like of all things jim like what so what you're really leading into is that you are actually like a lady gaga chromatica fan no what's the what's the german word for i only listen to

brandy that's like manchhausen yeah at this point it might as well be but well but brandy is incredible she's incredible she did kill someone with her car yeah she did commit vehicular manslaughter and so therefore i'm actually supporting um a former criminal so everyone can get off their high horse about that. I think the important thing about Brandy, and I actually said this to the electrician because he was like, I literally kept saying to him, I was like, I don't know the other,

I don't know any other way to say, I literally only listened to Brandy. And he was like, he asked me about that. Oh, Jock is signaling for me to stop. I didn't wanna have you say this to you It's not that I don't love you, I just can't be Blaming everyone why you hurt me That's why I wanna keep us between you and me You don't understand if you treat it like me

It's not that people run me, but they can't see When I am hurting, babe, no it's not me So don't make me the blame, you need to change You see that you're not ready to make Commitment to me, it will take some time Should've known before we started you Act on where we are, I'm in the dark In public you are so different, I know

That you treat me bad but I can't get away Just keep it undercover, I know Don't wanna be embarrassed, We don't want anybody to know Anybody, didn't we decide that We don't want anybody to know Anybody, what we do when we're alone We don't want anybody to know Anybody, didn't we decide that

We don't want anybody to know Anybody, what we do when we're alone We don't want anybody to know We don't want anybody to know We do when we're alone We don't want anybody to know Know that people will never understand me Cause they can only judge whatever they see And I know what they'll see if they look at me If I had all the answers that they would have

Still they wouldn't realize the love that we have Cause now I have to do it, live it secretly Cause to me love is worthless Hey. Oh, there you are. So my microphone is broken. Oh no. I just dropped it I think when it fell or something is fucked up about my box.

Oh. Shit. Well, I can hear hear you now what do you want to do um i mean if it sounds good enough on this but i don't want it to sound shitty at all because people were complaining about the audio quality let me try opening this one well you sound fine on my end so i can probably just use the zoom recording okay well right if your audacity recording sounds goofy because if it's recording you from what i'm hearing on my end then it sounds fine well then lay it on me daddy okay okay so i i was going on i was on autopilot talking about brandy the thing that i said to the electrician that I couldn't stress enough was that by listening to any artist by the transitive property, he is listening to Brandy because she is referred to as the vocal Bible. So. Okay. In theory.

And I don't know if that's true, but I like that people say it. The vocal Bible seems to be taking it a step far. Exactly. And that's why i like it i like big swings i mean like that's a a gracious acclaim from someone that is a talented singer but i mean come on whitney houston was her mentor okay that's actually okay that that that's pretty sick that's why cinderella is so important i know god damn whitney houston i know i mean have you brandy wrote a whole album after whitney houston died and it's amazing really yeah it's called it's called two some of the songs are about when he's yeah it's called the whole album is called 21111. It's incredible. It's from 2012, I think.

It was like a year after. I want to hear that. Well, she died on Brandy's birthday. Isn't that crazy? That is so tragic. You know what song is playing in my head? No. And then he's like, I will never find another lover sweeter than you

you know that song no but i like it oh if you have things like that you can send it to me i'll listen to that i'll listen to some like some smooth r&b yeah i've been working alone recently so i need like a silly but entertaining stuff to listen to oh i'll just make you a uh how long of a shift do you have at one time i work like eight hours yeah i'll make i'll make you an eight hour long or at least a four hour long playlist that would be so nice of you it'll be crazy though you will i need i really need to know who is making the playlist at my gym um because i'm not joking it'll be the same so i go for like 45 to an hour every like almost every day

and sometimes i'll hear the same like six songs and i don't know if someone is just like queuing them up and they just play on a loop or if they like started a playlist and didn't finish it there have been times where i've heard don't funk with my heart by black eyed peas more than twice in an hour ish of being there i mean hearing you you should be so lucky to hear that i know well the other day the other day the person played uh the potion by ludacris and i was like okay i was like of all things i was not expecting this but i love that song so that was cool but so i um i've just been this i decided i'm gonna go on as many dates as i want to for no reason um in the last like two days as soon as i was you know available after out after being out of the er for throwing up blood yeah did you stop throwing up blood for once well i stopped but um i don't

know if you can tell it sounds like you think it's gonna happen again were you gonna say you lost weight i think yeah i lost weight like my i think my stomach is like flatter. I, that this is my first time seeing your stomach. So now I'll have a frame of reference, but, but anyway, I mean, I just had like a really weird medical week and then I was like, okay,

I want some attention. Like, like any, you know, sick person. And now in the event you start throwing up blood again, which it sounds like you're not confident won't happen. And then you can have a bunch of cute boys come visit you in the er yeah i mean cute boys cute girls what the cute days

i'll take them all but anyway so i go on one date it was incredible whatever okay where'd you go what'd you do we'll just hang out at their house but whatever that that's the it's a good day so there's not really anything to talk about okay so i go on this other date and it wasn't a bad date either but we go to this place the place is what it really annoyed me it was like two live djs at a brunch for at like two yeah that's kind of mean um it was like a dj duo one they they looked either italian or spanish um definitely european they one was a big guy and tall and the other guy was short and skinny i'm sorry i have to say this right here and right now do you know who bill belichick is rachel dolezal no bill belichick he He's the coach for the New England Patriots. Oh, no, no, no. OK, so he's he's disgusting, but he has these two really sexy blonde DJ

stepdaughters. Anyway, continue. I just I just remember that. But go on. So two DJs at brunch. You got the skivvy on the hot blondies. And you guys gotta meet these blot blonde DJs. Yeah. I'll send you a picture. But okay. Continue. So two DJs at brunch. Intentionally. Yes. Okay. So I get to the reservation earlier and I didn't

think anything of it. But like I was like oh we're just gonna get brunch. Like whatever. I've never been to this place but I don't care. So it's called the Roxy, which is just, like... We have one of those in Philly. I think every city has their own version of a Roxy. It's just, it was just, like, oh, I was just, like, immediately. And, like, the music was, like, at an un...

Like, there was no communication inside the restaurant. Oh, weird. The level of the music. The music was too loud. People were screaming just to talk to each other at the table and it wasn't like really like bad djing at all it was like just boring uh like 40 year old people house you know nothing special but i you know i was so lame i had to tell the girl i was like we gotta get got to get out of this place. You know, like. Yeah. If you couldn't hear anything at brunch of all places. Hey, if you're listening,

today was the last day you could put in an order through our Shopify website. Losers. You all missed out on some delicious tea. I will say no. Jacques. I really liked the shorts. I was, I was considering reaching out about them, but.

Oh yeah. Well, you can do you you i got you for those okay well that's that's done done deal i'll wear them to the gym i don't care no they're so they are so hot my favorite thing about the design is that there is a pair of bananas that go right here sick right over the uh crotch region yeah it gives it that full effect okay so tell me about your second date before i um okay we're talking about something else that doesn't matter keep going okay so so okay so this second date was just like fine or whatever but um at um that i will never go to a venue like that why do people people need DJs at brunch? Why do you need two DJs?

Two DJs. And it was the restaurant was completely dark inside. Not a single light was on. And it was not that sunny outside. So I didn't see the point of just turning off all the lights. I didn't think it was like cute atmosphere. I thought it was just kind of creepy. I didn't think it was like cute atmosphere I thought it was just kind of creepy yeah that seems like strange to have all the lights off inside I'll just go ahead and say that this is

the worst restaurant I think I've ever been to and um well the service was good and the fact that they know that I didn't like my meal and they didn't charge me oh that's nice but um it was the most depressing looking place i've seen in a while i'd rather like eat in a hospital or a mental institution um i mean i like eating in graveyards so that's not even like a joking suggestion yeah i'll eat out of any dumpster oh yeah i mean you live in philly that's true so i feel like that's just like they dumpsters are like the troughs that feed the schools yeah i mean i'll you know i'll buy produce from the italian market where people are just like smoking cigs and like picking their noses and stocking the fruit i don't care what's the big liberal arts college there temple so yeah the

whole foods uh compost bin just gets brought down to temple near the dorms and the students all gather and eat it like a trough yeah it's like slop for them actually i'm glad you said that because i have a a great deal of respect for the people who bike around the city with and pick up the compost because the mechanism that they attach onto the back of the bike to stack the buckets looks so uncomfortable it just looks like really hard to handle so good for them for figuring that out yeah that does not seem like a fun straightforward job to have it seems no very dangerous and i know the drivers don't like it so good for them i'm just like but okay the okay tell me about the uh the other date and then i'll

tell you about um the loves that i've met in the past few days okay so um the the details of the other date are not even funny it really just was about these two dj pricks i i would i've been on three total dates in uh two days and all i can say is is that i'm happy to report that um i got kissed sick that's it's it. Over and out. That's about it. Oh, wait. And I got respected. Whoa! From behind. Wow. All over my face.

That's crazy. I know. It's crazy that people can respect me. That's home base, dude. That's a... Yeah. I feel like if Ben and Max re-listen to this episode, they're going to go,

you stupid faggot idiot. What? Because they don't want men to respect them? Or they don't want men to respect you? Well... Could be both also.

So, less is better to say, but, you know, I've had my fair share of crazy relationships. And so my naturally my close friends are don't want me just rushing into anything. But, you know, I get talked to kind of like an infant about my health and my dating life in general by my friends, which is out of care for me right but i mean you know because i do light my life on fire normally uh on a regular basis with my normal activities in the in the short time i've known you i would say i yeah i've noticed that so i think it's fun i'm jealous i wish i was whimsical i'm just i'm having a great time i'm

just like you know what i forgot how cool just like being treated nicely yeah and you know what i have to say max you wish a man would respect you oh my god don't say i'm coming no i want to i kind of want to come for max i feel like people never come for him. Oh, no. Give him a break. He's busy. Out of you and Max and Ben, who gets attacked the most? I'll be honest. You know who needs to be

attacked right now? It's me. You need to be attacked? What have you done? Nothing. It's just that Ben or Max are not here right now so so we got to take over we got it we got to take big whimsy back and oh my god that's what that's what Bailey was saying I don't know I think our brand I don't know we okay let's let's figure it out but the that's what Bailey my boyfriend said earlier he was just like it's just

it was like he's like it's just you and Jacquesck now and i was like yeah kind of is what just like recording all the time yeah just i was like yeah i guess i guess big whimsy uh happened without us without us knowing so if we are gonna commit to this big whimsy brand i do think that we should carry tiles i think we should sell tiles oh i would love tiles okay so yeah i don't remember i talked about this on my podcast at some point, so maybe someone will remember this, but there was a point in like January, maybe December where I went to a very,

very fancy tile showroom and, and I didn't get respect. In fact, I got the opposite, which was, I went with my client from work who spent, I will not reveal how much on tile there a couple of years ago, a lot,

like a couple of kids, couple years ago a lot like a couple kids college education a lot and so depending on where you go but that's typical that we went to that showroom because she you know knew the people there whatever liked the stuff they sell and I am gobsmacked just like jaw dropped I had never been into a place

that exquisite and I was allowed to touch everything and I was allowed to like be like we're gonna do this whatever and the woman who helped us was so rude she hated y'all she hated well yeah and the my client told me before we even got there she was like yeah i went recently and this woman who helped me was so rude so like hopefully you know if you go with me like she'll be nicer and she really wasn't she did not like that i was having fun and then after i left she like said something about me she was just like oh he's like he's gonna do your work like he's really young and she was just like what do you care like

what's it your business lady she she does have a british accent but anyways so didn't always have the best experience with tile room specifically but then this past week i've been going to many many many tile places and i will give a very specific shout out to um ria who works at the doll tile showroom in center city philadelphia because she rules okay i went in there just on my break the other day to get actually the this sample that i just happen to have right here this floor sample oh i love that is that nice okay you guys can't see it but it's like a repeat pattern kind of like green it almost looks like argyle and it's three different shades of green some text text it's beautiful so that's gonna be that shape that works but so i went to this tile place you know nervous thinking the last time I did this the people didn't respect me Rhea and I had a

blast just gabbing gabbing gabbing gabbing like she was well one she thought I was funny so obviously I was obsessed with her I mean you are pretty funny I do think I'm funny and I do know that I'm charming but I also think that like when I'm in my work clothes and I look like

like a dude and then I go in and I'm just like and I kept apologizing because I kept cursing and I kept saying bitch and then I was like not you not you not you and there's just these like women who are like little I call them biscotti women who are just in this like little other area kind of just like placing things on tables and talking about like design whatever and then they look over and me and this girl are just like roaming around laughing and I looked at them and I was like, I'm sorry if I'm being loud, I'm having an amazing time. So Rhea helped me out. Love her.

And then today after work, I just randomly decided I was going to bike down what we call Washington Avenue, which for some reason has an upwards of 15 different marble places. So I did. You're just losing it at this point. I mean, you're just like addicted to that.

No, I know, but so no, I'm addicted to it because I found, I found one of the elements that I needed. And there are three elements I need for this shower tile. I need the floor. I need the walls. And then I need the curb.

And the curb is the area that you step over. Oh, I need that curve too. You need the curb. And if I'm doing these green tiles, it's impossible to find green curb stone. Because, say it with me, interior design is boring now. Everything is white and gray. Interior design is boring now. Thank you. Interior design is boring now. Everything is white and gray. Interior design is boring now. Thank you.

Interior design is boring now. Yeah, that's my platform. But interior design is boring now. So the only curbstones you can get are black and white and gray. And I don't want that. I'm doing a green bathroom. So I went to four different places today. And the fourth one that I landed on was the best. The woman that helped me was fantastic. She shook my hand, like introduced herself. They had a little shop that like spoke to me. Well, so I was locking my bike up outside and I saw them closing the doors. And I like, just like we made that contact and she was like, oh, did you want to go in? I was like, yeah, if you don't mind. She was like, yeah, go ahead.

And then I was in there without the lights on for like four minutes. And then she came in and turned them on and we chatted and she's gonna hook me up and i would kill for her love that yeah so in the in the past like four in the past four days you know it i have learned that there is no stronger bond between me and you know fun women that work at stone places in the last four days i've realized that um there are such things as safety net hospitals that will do anything to get you in and out without giving you a real solid diagnosis or treatment wait what is that a safety net hospital so yeah so basically this is the place in town that would accept uh no insurance people oh but to ultimately give you no diagnosis

so i went in with my insurance though i didn't know that this was this kind of hospital but i waited there for three hours after throwing up copious amounts of blood oh my god more than a cup at a time and they tell me that my white blood cells count they well okay so anyway finally i made it to the waiting room i'm like throwing going back and forth and throwing up and just shitting and just like this is horrible i'm clenching to my night gown my like whole like my night like hospital gown yeah and um i'm like can i please have some water and they're like well we don't know if we can give you water we have to ask the doctor and so i never received water they didn't give me fluids what the hell they were like well you don't seem dehydrated they

were like your blood white blood account sounds fine and they were like and uh no kidney problems so well i guess you're free to go. It could have been gastritis, but, you know, who knows? I'm like, okay, I've had gastritis for over 15 years of my life. Wait, what is that? A GI condition relating to just a myriad of problems. That sounds horrible. Well, it's not great.

Jacques, what you need to know about me and i hate to say this because this is a insane brag i can eat whatever i want and i have no consequences and i am so sorry to anyone hearing this that fucking hates that but i have to be honest about it because when people talk to me about stomach problems i'm like i wish i wish i could hold you and make it better but i have i cannot relate to that sense of pain in any way i experience muscle pains all the time but i know that stomach pain is light years beyond that oh i just feel like if i think if any normal person jumped in my shoes and felt the amount of pain that i have felt over the years at times there were times that i like nearly chipped a tooth or i like i chipped a tooth from clenching so hard in pain and like yeah that's bad you know like i like i fainted shitting before oh my god that's so bad or like i'm sorry i'm

laughing because that's really dangerous and scary but and i think to throwing up blood before and it's just like so when i go to the hospital er room and they don't take it seriously i'm like yeah no that is that's not cool okay you Okay, you need to go to a gastrointestinal doctor. I went back to my primary care doctor, and he came up with a regimen of a plan and then figured things out. And I was like, why did I go to the hospital in the first place? Why the fuck did you tell me to go to the hospital?

Yeah, that's nuts. Do you think they're going to... Have you ever got like a... What do they call it? Endoscopy? Oh, I've had one before. Endoscopy? I don't know how they pronounce it. I was supposed to have endoscopy oh i've had one before endoscopy i don't know how they pronounce it i was supposed to have endoscopy and endoscopy yeah i was supposed to have an endoscopy and a

colonoscopy and alter alter alternating every two years and i haven't since i got my first one in five years ago you should get it again that actually came up in my work group chat today which was funny someone texted asking if they if anyone knew where the bore scope was was which a bore scope is actually the same exact tool that you would use for a endoscopy how would you pronounce it before i'm still i'm still tripping up on how to say it and this endoscopy and i like how you're saying it yeah so it's the same tool you would use for that but you use it so you can like you know if i wanted to look in a wall or look in a ceiling it's the same thing but one of my co-workers texted asking if anyone knew where it was and then my other co-worker responded saying i was trying to refrain from answering questions that

don't pertain to me but but what pray tell is that it sounds like something i may not want done to me and then i lost my mind laughing um and i was like mike i think you're thinking of it and endoscopy which does include a medical grade version of a borescope and then she said excellent what what kind of people are you working with this guy sounds like a christ scientist. Nah, he's cool. These days I'm working alone. All alone except for sometimes when the electrician comes in. Or the plumber. I love him too. But mostly been alone.

I mean, that's kind of nice. It is, but then sometimes I'm like, I wish I had a second set of hands. Not that much. I haven't been doing anything too crazy. I did all the crazy lifting stuff already for this one job but working on ceilings dude which sucks my shoulders are killing me i fucking hated doing the thing i hate having to i hate having to like manually strip the tiles of

a ceiling down yeah that's bad no but i've been installing ceiling framing which here's the annoying thing with installing ceilings not only spending a long period of time on a ladder is really annoying and uncomfortable and dangerous it is dangerous but you don't realize when you're doing it that you like your body's reflex is to lock your entire like lock your legs like hold yourself still and so like even if i'm not walking up and down the ladder all day i'll like sit down eventually and just like my legs will feel crazy just from like being held in a position for a really long time but you're probably getting skater legs like well i might who's to say but the the annoying thing is that you're constantly checking and see if it's level but you're doing shit on the ground too and just looking up it kills your neck and then it

kills your arms from having to like shoot screws upward it's it's a lot i don't miss construction especially right now where i feel like i have a limp i've been walking with a limp since i got this antibiotic shot oh that's you should get a cane get a cool cane get the ones they sell it like write it and shit with butterflies or flowers on them i'll get a cane and a panama jack hat and a white suit yeah and i'll um it'll you know i'll be a villain who's the kfc guy what's his name um i believe it's colonel sanders colonel sanders yeah you could you could go for that look does he have a cane i feel like he does i don't want to be colonel sanders but yeah they tried to make a a like fake tv show out of him you remember that did you ever see that the with mario lopez or something

yeah i was really upset that it wasn't a full series i got my hopes up for that how i mean how long of a fake episode did it last oh it was like a five minute it was like a long commercial uh that's very disappointing because i know i would have watched that i did i was interested immediately jock i have a random idea suggestion oh i love it we should put a call to action for the listeners you and i should do an advice episode oh yeah please i'm down have you guys done that on seeking arrangements but i've never done it what an advice episode yeah or like a question type yeah we've done it before but i mean i'll do it just with you if like i'll see i'll be like hey do people have questions for you need to can you also send me i'm always trying to find your fucking twitter to tag you in this shit and i can

never like literally never find it it's i'm the only person named bulking treason on twitter i think it should be easy to find okay well i just forget bulking treason i'm never i was looking john up and i'm like no no i don't have my name i don't have my name attached okay well we'll get that tagged i don't even know why i don't even think my well no that's the thing is now that i have a work email address, so clients will know my last name. I wanted to do something where it was like, everyone send in some romance related questions. Like, I wanted us to have a dating episode, seeking derangement, guide to love, flirting, romance, dating. love flirting romance dating yeah we can or we can do we can do the big whimsy guide to uh do we do you want to do a romance one or do you want to just do a general q a you can ask me i'm really good at uh like conflict resolution uh no i think we should just do a general q a and we can

do a um we can do a big whimsies guides to big hearts oh yeah yeah yeah yeah that's okay we should do that i'm trying to think i'm like what should i tell people not don't ask about lifestyle things i don't and don't anything about that uh oh come on you know everything about the lifestyle of a carpenter gay well that's true but that's very specific a life led by few. Jesus was a carpenter, so he probably was gay too. Yeah, but he was a magician. I do have a new tennis friend, which is cool. Because, yeah, so we started doing... Well, I only went once, but Bailey and I joined this little drop-in tennis.

And they meet for two hours on Saturdays. And they just play all these mini games and there could be up, I think the one time I went there was like six of us there and then Bailey went another time and there were more than that and they'll do games with three people. It's really fun but they only do it on Saturdays from 9 to 11

which that is not good for me. That's triggering to me because that is a moment. I really wanted to make a point to say that i really will miss all those people we lost in 9-11 i know yeah so it's cruel that they do a two-hour time slot where we should be observing those we lost but that is like i mean that's mid-morning for me you know on a saturday if i need to be working at the new house i'm there at seven you know so or at least eight but i played tennis on sunday with bailey and this woman named nancy

who i met at the tennis group thing before and she's in her 60s i think we love nancy nancy and i are going to play tennis on saturday mornings at 7 a.m because she doesn't like she doesn't like playing in the heat when it like starts to get a lot hotter out and i don't like the time for the noise when you hit um maybe without knowing i know i i make like silly noises when i know i'm doing something wrong um or when i like do something yeah i don't know i love playing tennis it's so much fun well i've never made a mistake so i can't relate on that front but i love older women no i know well that's what i talked to clark about it and i was like well honestly what's more me than having tennis a tennis partner who is a woman a middle-aged woman who plays with me at 7 a.m on who plays with me at 7 a.m on saturday mornings

that's genius clark is good he was in new york with his family he went to that thing called the oculus that's what it's called? I don't know what that is Nevermind, I think it's It's not Ground Zero It's not like what they replaced Or maybe it is what they replaced the Twin Towers with I don't know, I don't know anything about New York I just got back from LA for my second time

And I really regret not going to the Cecil Hotel Oh yeah, we talked about this last time when you were in LA So You were in a hotel Well, I mean about this last time when you were in la so you were in a hotel well i mean this time i stayed in 0.4 miles away from the cecil hotel oh my god but i chickened out i mean i rode i don't blame you i would have i rode to it and i turned around before i could even see it because i just thought if i end up seeing it I have to go inside if I go inside what will

happen I don't know but I will not die without going into that hotel that's a fact that's a reasonable goal now that you've been at least close to it you can maybe take the plunge now that I've been close to death

yeah now that you've stopped coughing up blood, hopefully once and for all. Let me just clarify. I wish I was just coughing up blood because then it would just be a lung thing. I was throwing up blood. And then I got home and I threw up on my bed and I was like, this is horrible.

So I cleaned my bed. I used a whole can of not Lys to clean it and i scrubbed it really and it was just like it was like clean and whatever fine i decided i'm like okay let me double check to make sure the other side of the mattress like is okay because maybe i'll just flip it to that side right i discovered that my entire mattress is molded from the bottom going into the inside of it. I have not finished paying the lease on this mattress. And I have had it for two months. Jock.

That might be why you're getting sick. Yeah, but... If you're breathing in mold. Yeah, but I brought it up to the doctor and he was like no oh weird i know that black mold can give you like lung problems i don't know if it would lead to throwing up blood but still that's nuts what did you do did you throw it out or did you like remedy it i have to throw it out i there's no remedy there's no cure when it's that far gone i mean honestly yeah on fabric yeah on on other

things you can get rid of mold but fabric and no forget it but honestly yes could it have been causing problems absolutely yeah but i had a sheet on top of it so and it was growing from the bottom up so who knows that's nuts how much contamination i was getting but yeah also sheets don't do what people think they do to be honest i mean i'll tell you this though i've had black mold poisoning i'm sure it's not great it's not great no um me and my ex started just coughing up blood and we were like oh shit no this is not good and then like one day I like fell or dropped something. And so I had to like lay down and look under somewhere to grab it. And I saw black mold all and all under the every single shelf.

That's horrifying. That's another crazy thing with doing construction on a house. Oh, that you're living in is like I noticed. Now, so many areas where there was previous water damage and i was like okay whoever was living here before just literally was breathing in this mold all the time literally so it only makes me think i'm like what is behind these walls i've been living in well um did you see the new mortal kombat because i didn't and i need to tonight no i actually saw it on my hbo thing earlier when i was watching mayor of east town which i encourage people to

watch if you like uh uh dramas mayor it's a great show mayor of east town yes it takes place in delaware county pennsylvania and the accent that kate winslet pulls off is so accurate it's really crazy for me to hear that accent on TV because I'm so used to hearing it in my daily life that it doesn't, like, I don't hear it. It doesn't occur to me, but then seeing it on, hearing it on TV, I'm like, this is nuts. I've heard about this a lot recently.

It's a good show. I'm really enjoying it. And it's not just Pennsylvania bias. And it ain't just Pennsylvania, baby. Oh, now I'm like, does everything i own have mold you should definitely check it definitely check your towels what are you smelling just random clothes on the ground i'm like fuck what's going on doc something tells me that if i saw the way your room looks it would give me an aneurysm um no offense that no if no i'm not offended because you're you know not not only are you right but it's it's a it's bad right now can i tell you something really really mean that i kind

of that i am going to do and want to do and you can tell me if i'm being a total demon or if this is okay for me to do no i already I'm already going to assume it's okay because it's okay. So this has to do this has to do with clothes on the floor. I do not like clothes on the floor. Okay. And my samurai we have

so many drawers in our room and my boyfriend is always shoving his clothes under the bed or shoving socks and we share some socks so i'm like it drives me nuts so when we move i volunteered or i actually didn't volunteer i just said i'm going to do it i was like i'm going to build a bed platform so that you cannot put something under it i love that is that so mean or does that totally make sense? I mean, no. I mean, first of all, I feel like out of you and Bailey, you're the head honcho of what's going to be built and what's not going to.

Yes, I know. I'm the one who will do it. If I say I'm going to do something, I'm going to do it. But he's way more practical than I am. Even to be more cruel but practical, you do that and you put a lock and a key. Well, that would make it a sex game. I was also thinking I could get someone to do like a trompe l'oeil, you know, like hyper realistic painting of what underneath a bed would look like. So he could go and try to do it and like jam his fingers.

Oh, that's even better. Wouldn't that be that be fun yeah you should definitely tease your fiancee yeah to to the point of hurting your fingers yeah that's that's so cute that's a couple goals yeah or maybe i'll just i'll run an electric current through his side of the bed okay now that sounds more like a war of the roses you know the burbs kind of yeah wait should i watch mortal combat i'm not going to watch it tonight but i saw it on my hbo thing should we watch it um i'm gonna determine that tonight i okay so um i'm so excited to have finally met someone who wants to watch action movies oh um i'm trying to think i watched a good what action movie did i watch recently oh i watched um this movie called songbird which is about covid uh in the in the

film the uh virus has mutated into what they are calling covid 23 and they're on their like third or fourth year of lockdown or something or yeah i guess their third year of lockdown and uh yeah it's a love story actually and it is absolute garbage but i enjoyed it and i also saw godzilla yeah it is a love story godzilla versus king kong yeah it was banging it was banging i loved it oh oh my god i need i need a good action movie that just makes me feel well fast and furious 9 comes out next month and it is in many ways over three hours long which i am so excited for yeah three hours three hours eight minutes they say it's going to i'm a big triple X fan as far as hell. Yeah. To that kind of action movie. I mean, the first fast and furious is so sexy.

Uh, yeah. Wait, did you see the, uh, triple X, the prequel that they did a couple of years ago? No,

I mean, it wasn't good. It's so good. Yes. Literally. I will. You have to watch it. I think it's called,

I think it's just called X or it's called Xander or something. But, oh, my God. Those movies are major. I mean, I don't think anything will ever top fucking Eve and Triple X, the original. I mean, there's so many things about the original Triple X that are just like. It's. What? One of my favorite.

Oh, my God. I haven't watched that. Isn't Tony Hawk, like like the getaway driver too probably yeah they they have some wild sounds like that yeah danny trejo's in that oh my god yeah eve philadelphia's own eve oh my gosh he's from philly that yeah so fucking cool yeah this movie rules i'm trying to remember what the name of the uh the prequel was only god can judge me what is it either way well i i think i talked about this on the last thing i recorded but uh they are rumored to be making an all-female version of fast and furious or like a movie spinoff that highlights all the female characters i've talked

about this so many times okay I love that Vin Diesel's sister In the Fast and the Furious movies Or I guess it's his girlfriend Yeah Michelle Rodriguez Is that his girlfriend or sister? Girlfriend Okay Michelle Rodriguez is the hottest woman alive Besides Meryl Jemez

Well yeah she's one of the best movie tropes Which is girl that's good at car Good girl that's good at gun Yeah good that's good at gun i mean yeah good at gun and good at car her in resident evil the finger chef kiss oh wait she's in resident evil yeah are you talking about are you talking about mila jovovich no both mila jodnovich and michelle rodriguez are in the original resident evil movie oh Oh, you're right. Michelle Rodriguez is in that. She's a pivotal character, too. She's not just some nobody.

I forget if I've talked about this before, and if I have, I'm actually... No, I'm not sorry about this. There's a movie that Michelle Rodriguez is in with Sigourney Weaver, and Sigourney Weaver captures her, or captures him, rather. So the movie starts out with this guy

who's a criminal or some shit i actually forget is captured by sigourney weaver sigourney weaver gives them like sexual reassignment have you seen of course we reviewed it on we reviewed it on uh seeking deranged wait you did yeah we did we had a whole episode about it wait but i haven't but that movie is the best that movie was so funny i love sagoni weaver as the villain that's my working girl was a good movie that's why um heartbreakers was such a good movie she was both the villain and the protagonist both the antagonist and the protagonist the best line from the assignment is when someone like walks into Sigourney Weaver's

office and she just like recites some poem or some like quote back to the person and then says do you even read Poe dear fucking god I'm so glad I've talked about that movie so many times and no one knows what I'm talking about I only talk about like four movies and it's that and then A Simple Favor with Blake Lively

and Anna Kendrick that movie is incredible um and I think there's a third one that I'm blanking on now but those are like the most important movies to me I feel like I'm blanking on my thoughts I ordered it or ordered ordered I ordered as a go meal earlier and i ate it like really fast before and i'm like is this drink drugged because i feel like i've steadily gotten fucked up as i'm what were you drinking was that a milkshake yeah it's like hell yeah it's like a vegan milkshake it's like oh so then it's not a milkshake that's just a shake if there's no milk in it yeah it's just shake i drank a half gallon of chocolate milk in about a little over two hours last week or two weeks ago i saw that online and i was worried

for you it was great i hope but i will say no i don't need it i hate you and your your perfect body i don't i'm lactase persistent okay bitch i read this article about it it says that normal that normal people are lactose intolerant and that people that aren't are lactase persistent. So get at me. Here's the thing. I hope you get invisible monstered. Yeah, what, my jaw? My jaw shot off?

Oh, no, no, no. The Chuck Palahniuk book. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Doesn't she get, yeah, her jaw gets shot off oh no no no oh at the chuck palahniuk book where yeah that's what i'm saying doesn't she get yeah her jaw gets shot off right oh i thought she got acid on her face or something no she gets like shot in the jaw i thought well whatever happens to her may it happen to you bitch because you wish yeah well the here's the one thing though and people will hate the consequence that i reaped from it was that i drank it on a wednesday night and so thursday morning at the gym and you know the real ones know this thursday at the gym for me is my second chest day of the week and that's when i do everything upside down so

i did not do anything that made me feel absolutely disgusting but laying upside down after drinking two gallon two or drinking a half gallon of chocolate milk is unusual it's offensive at one point I was just like I tasted it and I was like I'm not going to push this too hard but what interesting choices I've made in that moment I was like maybe it is kind of ridiculous do you feel sick at all?

no it upsets me to the core I felt I think in the morning I felt like I had eaten a bunch of candy the night before. You know what I mean? Like, I felt like I had a lot of sugar, but I didn't feel- Like a lot of ecstasy, you mean?

I wish. No, I didn't feel that. You never take ecstasy before work? No. That would be so dangerous. I would be freaked out to be. Actually, no, I did install a shelf once while i was on acid and it was hilarious um and it's still up it's actually still up so i must have done a good

job yeah i used to be really social and acid and like run around and do whatever oh it's been a long time for me i yeah i'm not fucking with acid anytime soon okay what time we at we're good we're at an hour i think we should we should call it let's clap it let's let's come up with a call to action for listeners we will do it yeah listeners reach out to us and give us your questions especially john if you have a question for john yeah i'll literally talk to you about anything confidently even if i don't know what i'm talking about i'll make you have a question for ben or max you can ask it but they they're always you know out and about doing their little

me and john we got plenty of questions to answer yeah we thank you for listening thank you for listening everybody i don't know where we're going to post this but it'll be somewhere it'll be on something yeah okay au revoir bye bye bye okay thank you I can't hear nobody Just keep it undercover I don't wanna be embarrassed But don't want anybody to know Don't want anybody to know That we are together Don't want anybody to know

What we do when we're alone Don't want anybody to know Don't want anybody to know Do it inside out then Don't want anybody to know Do we decide all of this? If nobody has to know about our love We cut the mystery Don't want anybody to know Tell me it's not made it clear to you

If you can't understand this then maybe we need To give up on each other and take belief Everything we go through is all because of you And you don't have to do the things that you do Cause I've been the same since we began So baby will you make a change? We don't want anybody to know To question what we do

We don't want anybody to know What we do when we're alone We don't want anybody to know what we do when we're alone We don't want anybody to know what we do And if we don't want anybody to know We know nobody has we know We don't want anybody to know Anybody And if we don't want anybody to know

What do we do? Don't want anybody to know We just don't want anybody to know No one to know Don't want anybody to know We don't want anybody to know We don't want it, no one to know We don't want anybody to know

We don't want it, no one to know We don't want anybody to know We don't want it, no one to know We don't want anybody to know No one, no one can know Don't want anybody to know