Seeking Derangements - SD 90 [UNLOCKED] SD 90 - Mustache Realizations with Will Menaker and Felix Biederman

Episode Date: January 2, 2022

If you were a ghost what kind of ghost would you be? a. pervert ghost b. gay literature ghost c. wise ghost d. demonic ghost intro/// SBB - I Wonder Why (1977) outro/// Sopwith Camel - Fazon (1973)

I wonder what went wrong You loved me for so long. Until you made it with that guy. The two furthest locations in LA. Nope, that's literally where it was. Forget it, Jock. It's Chinatown. You guys want to start recording?

Yeah. Yeah. Go for it. All right, I'm recording. Look at this retarded moo moo I bought. I bought myself so many moo moos. What makes a moo moo retarded, Jock? Please enlighten us.

That Jock is buying. It becomes retarded at the point of purchase. It emphasizes whatever brain disorder I have. Are you buying a bunch of Moomoos right now? My roommates really like them. When me and my roommate came the first time, we got

Moomoos for our friends and family. Everyone loved them. Jock, can you boost your volume just a tiny bit? I'm so boosted right now. Y'all don't even know. There we go. Who is the cartoon character on the

Moo Moo? Yeah, on the Moo Moo. That's Doraemon. Yeah, I thought so. I don't know who that is. I only know who Doraemon is because of this like, it was a sort of like canonical alt-right Twitter post. It was this guy who was just like, I'd like to see any of, like, canonical alt-right Twitter post. It was this guy who was just like,

I'd like to see any of these cucks go to Japan and talk shit about Doraemon. He's like Mickey Mouse. The Yakuza would cut their kidneys out. That was... He's like a Yakuza boss who's like, you know, I'm going to take a break from, like, cutting his pinky off or something and just be like, they have brought shame to Doraemon. must that was jocks that was jocks all twitter well we get the

guy who said that um i always like that post because he's like oh well they don't get that doraemon is like mickey mouse in the same way right right in the same way in the same way that the mafia would defend Mickey Mouse. Like that's all, that's what John Gotti did was kill people who insulted Mickey Mouse. Mostly tourists from Japan who unknowingly called him gay. Did y'all hear that Kanye West will no longer be Kanye West as of today?

A judge has approved for his name change to be... You're just reading off what you read. That's not even with the head of the article. I reach format of the words. Shut up, you little sniveling fag. Are you paraphrasing like a page six? You guys have been studying Charlemagne the God

and how he does radio. Did you say a judge approved this? Oh, a judge has approved his request why would a judge need to approve it like it's already a made-up name he's legally changing it okay what's the name drug ye y e just y e nice nice it's kind of that's kind of non-binary vibes do you think he's stealing non-binary valor by getting a one syllable name oh I think he's doing more than he's about to convert well he shaved his hair

he's gone crazy he's already like done his like return to like the church thing like his born again face has gone by he started to dress like the the ringleader of squid game yeah yeah he started to dress like the ringleader

of Squid Game. Yeah, yeah. He started to dress like a five-year-old. He wears clogs and shit. He's probably been to the... He should be committed at this point. Yeah, Kanye and B-Face incoming. And also,

Kim finalized a divorce also in the last few days. Oh, I'm waiting for that for that UFO show of his. That's going to be great. Oh my god. Wait, wait. So Ben, you put me on to the Demi Lovato UFO show. Okay, unidentified with Demi

Lovato of Peacock, a Peacock original. Okay. The clips that... Have you been watching? No, no. I'm like like it's on peacock though i might have to subscribe to peacock just no i think we peacock is one of those apps that just like comes free with roku it's like the you it's like the you can get all food stamps it's like on whatever kind of smart like tv you have peacock's already available i have you know i i am i cannot recommend it yeah it is so funny.

The clip where she's at what used to be a 19th century frontier brothel. She's like, oh, this goes. She's afraid of men. Her friends are like, that's cool. I respect that.

We're standing outside. Wow, big stretch here. That's cool. I respect that. We're standing outside. It's like, wow, big stretch here that, you know... The 19th century frontier brothel ghost would have some issues with men. Well, we talked like a little bit about this last episode, but like I said, Ben,

the ghost is dead. Like, of course, it has trauma. It has trauma from dying and probably being murdered. Actually, we're famous for being normal and cool places to work. Very safe. Nothing bad ever happened there. Nobody ever gets shot.

Nobody ever gets raped. My favorite thing that Demi did maybe in the entire show, and I've seen every episode is the first question to this ghost was, have you seen any aliens? She's a UFO experiencer too. She's a fucking genius. No, no, no. My favorite part of the show is also in that episode,

but it's not that. It's the one where she's talking to the lady who survived being implanted by aliens and imp impregnated and she's just there with with like her her gay a friend and her and her sister and like they're just wide-eyed as this woman is talking about how like yeah and the aliens they took me up and up in their spacecraft maybe i don't know 25 or 30 times i've had that many miscarriages I keep miscarrying it's like really traumatic and like this woman is obviously like some sort of like

you know everyone in that show has been mentally traumatized they're all like child yeah no every every single person on that show including like the crew including the camera man,

the boom guys were all abducted seven times by each parent. Exactly. Exactly. It's, it's amazing. I was, um, the first clip that Ben posted, like Demi was being great,

uh, obviously, but like, just like the fucked up dudes that are along for the ride. Yes. Love the, the, the fag and the straight no no the people that they meet along the way because they're constantly they're literally on a road trip through california and into arizona and they go and they meet all of these you know

varying experts they meet um ghost hunters they meet um abductees they meet a guy who was in the Navy who witnessed one of the declassified, they call it the tic-tac-toe. I'm scared. That guy is in it. One of the guys who saw that firsthand. And he, since then, has been blasting whale noises into the sky

and then also into the Pacific Ocean off of Catalina Island. Why? Because he thinks that it generates some kind of... He's trying to spit game at the aliens. Yeah. He's trying to get some alien pussy. He literally thinks aliens speak whale language. He's trying, by blasting whale songs into the ocean,

you know, that's for- He has a giant thing. He's literally trying, he's literally trying to say anything to aliens. It's not gonna work. Okay, no, but I mean, whale noises, that's, you know, that's, the ocean is where they belong.

But like, as a naval officer- He keeps those fucking whale noises in the ocean. I think he's trying to atone for the number of whales the Navy has killed just with their sonar that they use on submarines that literally drives whales insane and beaches them and kills them. Or poisoned to death by DDT

dumping grounds in the South Pacific. Yet humans are mostly resilient against 5G. Kind of makes you think. No, The show is amazing. I can't recommend it enough. I've got to bring something up about the show. Go ahead.

Right after the filming of the show, on an outing with Paris Hilton, Demi told some random interviewer that it's derogatory to call extraterrestrials aliens Neil deGrasse Tyson

has has come back and said look Demi aliens have no feelings that he owned her shut up you dumb bitch autistic you stupid cunt.

I love that she was like, she was like, oh, you have to call them ETs because it just makes sense that you would have a more politically correct acronym for them. I don't know why that would be so preferred.

Also, it's not like Neil deGrasse Tyson is like, I don't know why i don't know why he's taking an approach like steve irwin and the crocodile hunters don't want to get called aliens and they should come up with a soft a version that we can call them safely well i mean if they don't want to be called aliens like i mean if i went to like go back to fucking if i went to alpha centauri i would be an an alien. Fair enough. Exactly. I could be their alien, you know? You can call me that. I would not

be mad. Look, if you go to Alpha Centauri, you're a nerd. If you leave your fucking Earth home planet system, you're a fucking nerd. If you're talking about science or space, you're probably a dork and you're definitely a fucking nerd.

Mm-hmm. mm-hmm you got them do you think Neil deGrasse Tyson they you know I think we all think it's one of the two things one thing is like anytime anything space bullshit related comes up he's going oh how can I get a clip

how can I get another media hit yeah or do you think like I maybe think, that he sort of has a problem with Enbys? I mean, I don't blame him. It's both. First of all, I don't blame him. If he had a problem with Enbys,

he'd be doing a lot more like anti-star chart, you know, birth chart discourse. You know? Look, if I was my own dad... That is conspicuously absent. Maybe he's trying to get with them. I mean, let's say Jock's a resident NB.

If I was my own dad and I found out that I was NB, I would be pretty fucking pissed. Sorry, what? I don't know where that came from at all. I'm just saying you know in this situation I'm trying to step in his shoes I'm like he's probably just a dad of a really annoying non-binary person

now he has a vendetta that would actually make sense have you told your parents that you're an NB? Have you come out? I remember once going downstairs in Corpus Christi, Texas from my bedroom to my mom's computer room

and going, Mom, I think I'm bisexual. And I changed my Facebook to say that I'm bisexual now. And she said, I don't know, Jacques. You might want to change your mind later. And now I'm in a whole big mess.

You did change your mind. You did change your mind. Yeah, yeah. Because you're like Pauly or something. You're like, Jacques, you won't know how annoying your people might become you could become even more annoying there's more stuff to explore than bisexuality hey have you ever thought of becoming a guy who's really into kratom shut up up. No, absolutely not. Kratom gives me a headache.

But look, I'll say this. I was a little bit non-binary before and they gave me that Johnson & Johnson shot and I am a lot of non-binary. That turned you more non-binary. I swear to God, I put on a skirt like 10 minutes after I got the shot.

And then I was also wearing like a military men's combo jacket on top of it. Yes. Yes, exactly. Now they're recommending, you know, a second booster shot for everyone who got the Johnson and Johnson. I'm not taking an official position on any of this. I am. I'm the most non-interventionist person who's ever lived so i really whenever i see those things that are like people calling like a latino tradition toxic i'm like i think it should be legal to be latino and do your do your shit but do we think now that

we've established well jacques has alleged that the johnson john Johnson makes people more non-binary. You notice that none of the side effect really quickly is that I like uncontrollably shake violently when I masturbate, but only when I masturbate since getting Johnson and Johnson shot. And so I just wanted to know if y'all had any explanation, any help. You're just really excited. I wake up every morning and I search on Google for Johnson & Johnson masturbation disease, and there's no such thing.

So I just, I need help. I don't know. Are you out there? Demi, we have an unexplained phenomenon for you to get to the bottom to. Yeah, how many do you do? Is there going to be a season where Demi explains the

unidentified phenomena behind being non-binary? Well, I think this is kind of a sort of subtle reading on that, you know. I didn't cover the unexplained phenomenon behind her haircut. Good lord. Wait, Felix, what were you going to say?

Oh, I was going to say that i was just i was gonna say that like you noticed that no one was coming out as nb during the so-called opiate crisis and i'm not saying that's like good or bad i'm just noticing you know i'm just noticing a pattern here do you think that you know if we've already accepted that Johnson & Johnson makes people more non-binary that possibly other pharmaceutical inventions make you less non-binary? That could be very true. I could believe that. I mean, Jock, you're kind of the perfect test case here because you are on a lot of pharmaceuticals. But seemingly, you are becoming more and more and more and more non-binary.

Every time I take a Benadryl, I dress like a man, like really male passive. There's been that. So it depends on which one. Every time I take a Klonopin, I act really mean when I mix it with alcohol.

I guess it's not really a think that's you dying, bitch. You should die. You're going to fucking stop. Please stop doing that. You know people die from that like all the fucking time, right? I'm only kidding. I would never... No.

That was not you kidding. I make a lot of jokes that are on the bridge between reality and fiction. I've had a... Last time I flew, I took a Xanax because I get really anxious on flights, but I wasn't even thinking about it.

And I did get a glass of Prosecco with the Caesar salad at the airport. And then I had half the glass and I was like, oh shit, I'm going to fucking die right here over my Caesar salad at the Des Moines, Iowa airport. I was like, please don't let me airport. Please don't let me die. Please don't let me die. Just let me get on the airplane. I don't want to die in this restaurant. But I was fine. I slept for the entire flight.

It wasn't bad. But if you do more than that, it can literally kill you. Please don't. I'm such a careful one. I'm so careful. I don't even know how to describe the level of careful i am but it's pretty much very meticulous i used to travel i used to travel like all of last summer for example i i carried like my sack of uh like my entire sheet of lSD. Condoms with holes? No. Condoms with holes?

No, like LSD. And like I always traveled with it. That was one of the things that I got most pissed about when my backpack got stolen in Italy. I got an entire sheet of LSD taken away. That's 180 bucks. I'm never going to get that back.

Some fucking wop got that entire thing. I'm not even going to use it right. Some fucking wop got that entire thing. They probably got their own away. Honestly, imagine whoever stole that doesn't know it's acid and fully puts their hand across it. It was taped to a copy of Water Wasted by a friend of the

show, Alex Branson. It's amazing how between that sheet of acid and that book, the book's actually more dangerous. That's right. That's right. It's banned in Italy. That's probably why it got taken away. It's actually, yeah, Alex's book is the number one way

in which LSD is smuggled into correctional facilities. Well, speaking of dying, speaking of dying from drug overdoses, Colin Powell, Colin Powell met his fate. Rip, may he rest in peace. Yeah, rest in peace.

Right after Bill Clinton was admitted to the hospital, there's some bad adrenochrome going on. Do not take the brown adrenochrome. That's a sacrifice. I know a sacrifice when I see one.

Bill Clinton, they hospitalized him. They finally admitted it where they were like, I think if he died it would have never come out because they would never admit he died from a UTI. But when they let him out, they were would never admit he died from a UTI. But when they let him out, they were like, okay, he had a UTI. They took Colin Powell's

urinary tract and transplanted it in Bill. The ultimate sacrifice, giving him a new dick to save a man's life. From the amount of elected officials or former elected officials who have died of COVID,

correct me if I'm wrong, but it's been Ben Carson and Colin Powell, right? Herman Cain? Herman Cain. Yeah, Herman Cain, not Ben Carson. Ben Carson's alive. Herman Cain, the other crank black guy. But why is it only black people? Why have none of the viruses racist?

Someone protect Condoleezza, please. Wait, what's up, Jacques? Is the meeting not recording? I'm recording on my end. Yeah, don't worry about it. I'm just asking. It's like Hank Aaron died

right after getting the vaccine, too. Questions can be raised. Let's just say. When Hank Aaron died, after getting the vaccine too. I mean, questions can be raised. Let's just say. When that guy died, when Hank Aaron died, that was the first time I'd ever heard Amy Therese talk about a black guy that wasn't incredibly racist. She was like, Hank Aaron, he was such a good baseball player.

He loved hitting the ball. That doesn't fucking know a thing about him uh and just because he died from died from the vaccine uh if if i recall uh correctly marvelous marvin marvin haigler too who's younger than hank aaron with hank aaron it's like he was what like 84 85 he was already you know he's pretty old yeah marvin haggler was like he's like in his 60s late late late 60s right yeah there's uh but did have but but didn't excel at a job that involved um sustaining brain injury over a long period of time so i mean that's true. That is true. That's literally my biggest forte in life.

With football players, it's totally different. We're kind of like football players in that we are, you know, giving ourselves successive concussions every time we do our job. It's got a lot of impacts

to the head. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Between getting hate-crimed and sucking dick. Oh, my god. The audacity of some straight guy that stopped me

who didn't know me in LA said, excuse me, could you not use the word fag? Oh yeah. Well, how do you know he was straight? Well, I don't even give a shit. I'm like, that's the same thing. I don't give a shit. I like that's why you would be mad at him right well i was like i've sucked over 200 cocks in my life you're talking like the right to to say that word what was the context

put us in the setting jock where were you saying faggot where were you i'm walking down the street and i'm like hi he was just acting like you're calling people faggots as you walk no no no i'm talking to my friend i'm walking down this i'm walking down melrose and i'm like i look at my friend i'm like he was acting like such a fag last night yeah of course people misconstrued take this too far i mean i should be able able to say whatever fagalicious slur I want to. Do you think straight people should be able to say whatever slur you want to?

Let's look a little further. Let's maximize a little bit. Can straight people say faggot? It has to be approved by the council. Okay. Seriously. it has to be approved by the council okay seriously seriously I would never use the word about a gay person I'm not a monster

only about other straight men only to compare other straight men to gay men the ethical way of calling a guy a packet you know Will and Felix you guys have obviously earned the right William and Sam calling a guy a packet. Will and Felix, you guys have obviously earned the right to do it. Could you call them gay? No, no, no. I'm just saying you spend enough time with gay people. You take enough words from gay people.

I feel like if you've been on this show, it's, you know, you've got this. Is there any chance, though? I mean, I'm'm in unidentified zone now Is there any chance that The presence That corrected you Was maybe a ghost Who has trauma

He has trauma As it regards that word And it sounds like a ghost who ran into Demi Yes literally There are no reports of this going on before so imagine imagine being an entity that is like stuck in some kind of like unexplainable purgatory and all you can do is just you're just trying to get like back from the well like that's your your quest and like some fucking annoying ass envy comes up like this person hey do you have trauma can I sing for you like bitch

I need my I need to like save my marriage from like beyond the grave I don't need your fucking bullshit I need to save I need to save the ghost of my daughter from being you know shot by a cannonball in the civil war the ghost of my slave must be avenged.

You know, some bullshit like that. Oh, my God. Being a ghost would be so fucking boring. I would suck. Imagine how tedious it is. There's no ghost pussy to be had. You can't fuck. There's no friction going on.

You can do a lot of observing, you know. I mean, I don't know. Through ectoplasmic, the barrier between living I don't know. Through ectoplasmic, the barrier between living and dead can be crossed through ectoplasm, through ghost goo, as seen in the film Ghostbusters, where Dan Aykroyd gets throated by...

Let me bring up a really important point right now. They're trying to remake Ghostbusters into some kind of like Stranger Things, sci-fi odyssey like void of comedy and dan akroyd and bill murray are dead in this good they should be dan akroyd might as well be dead as hard as like 95 percent fat at this point him and chevy chase are like walking pieces of cellulite. No, Chevy Chase is looking good now. Chevy Chase looks like a squash.

All of a sudden Max wants to fuck Chevy Chase. Wait, so what's your beef with the Ghostbusters? So this new Ghostbusters movie, it's no fun. The original Ghostbusters was like a lot of fun, but a lot of mystery at the same time. And then they made an all-women's Ghostbusters was like a lot of fun but a lot of mystery at the same time and then they made a then they made a all women's ghostbusters what do you think about the women's ghostbusters yes or no just yeah just yes or no no no you hate the women ghostbusters

because he's afraid of lelsie jones which honestly fair i saw it in theaters twice and i still just i still was like this is not a good movie anyway the whole point of this is there's this unnecessary trend to remake any movie that was like funny and light-hearted and beautiful from the 80s like ghostbusters yeah and turn it to some kind of visual odyssey about a mystery of the origin of ghosts. I'm like, just can it with this ghost shit. That's how I read it. Jacob's Ladder or Taxi Driver.

The original Ghostbusters is how I learned about sex as a kid. They're going to take that away from kids today. I do have a rather disturbing... You're going to have to teach kids about sex yourself now, Will. It's on you. It's not my job.

Sigourney Weaver is so hot in Ghostbusters. Everything you need to know about sexuality and how to be a woman, Sigourney Weaver. That's very funny that that's your source for your... Okay, so if anyone wants if anyone if anyone wants to know my my uh lead inspiration for my femininity uh it's it's tommy lee jones it's sigonia weaver circa heartbreakers the movie where her oh she's oh she's so hot in that she's more than way more way hotter than jennifer love you in that movie she's so hot in that. She's more than a dime. Way hotter than Jennifer Love Hewitt in that movie.

She's a quarter in that movie. She's delish. I do have a rather disturbing piece of information about the latest Ghostbusters remake, the Ivan Reitman one, the one that's coming out right now. It's just totally true. I had to look it up. Chris told me this the other day.

There is a character in the new Ghostbusters movie called Podcast. No. What? I'm not lying how is there it's like one of the one of the ghostbusters is a kid and they're like some little nerd and they have a podcast so everyone calls them podcast oh fuck what kind of disgusting ass this is like the next level like NB name. They ran out of like inanimate objects to name themselves after. There's no more plant, no more twig, no more string. I'm morally against this

movie, but I do like the idea of just becoming a human-less object just called podcast. It is a human. His name is just podcast. It's not... It's not a ghost. It is a human. His name is just podcast. It's not a ghost. It's a character.

Jock doesn't listen to anything. I'm a little confused. I listen. Shut the fuck up. Yes, I do. What about James Bond, Jock? What do you think about that? They have been fucking that up since Pierce Bronson lost the series.

I'm just like, totally go for it. I want an Afro-Latina James Bond. Do it. Please, go for it. It'd be so funny. I said I had been talking about this and we've come up with the perfect solution. We need to have... We need to cast immediately Ellen as James Bond.

Ellen would be great. Ellen would be great. Yes, we need to cast Ellen. Yeah, she would look good. Hang on. This is the end. Have a completely gender flipped James Bond. Gender and orientation flipped James Bond.

So you have a dyke, dyke James Bond. But she's still fucking women like James Bond yeah yeah yeah exactly so you're still the bond girls no you should have Ellen be a straight white woman own fun guys and fuck guys oh my god okay see that's

make Ellen fuck a guy if she wants to be James Bond well my thinking was we could also have like a money penny or a guy money penny in that case and call him money penis. Right? Exactly. Yes. Felix went to the bathroom

for a sec. We're talking about casting Ellen as James Bond. Okay, I think that's good. I mean, it's sort of a continuation on the Daniel Craig theme because... Absolutely. Daniel Craig post-transition. Yeah, I mean... That's how you would get an Ellen. continuation on the daniel craig theme because absolutely yeah what do we what do we know craig post transition yeah i mean that's that's how you would get an ellen well i was i was i was speaking

less you know physically uh more like you know what do we know spiritually yeah like what do we know about ellen now that she's like a mean person yeah but it but it's like james bond she's the only one who wants redemption yeah but i mean james but like the point of at least casino royale is like this is what this guy would really be like if if you know if you really had like all all these roles rolled into like a singular job this is what this guy would actually be like like he'd be so fucked up he can't function as a person yeah with. With Ellen, it's the same thing because she is able to do so much as an entertainer.

She can host the Oscars. She can host her show. She can really function socially. Yeah, she can rap. She can dab. She can do all this shit. She can abuse her employees. She can throw her employees down staircases.

Like James Bond does in Casino Royale when he fights the Nigerian guys. Yeah, she can do the same. That's very similar. In my case, you know, she's good. He when he fights the Nigerian guys. Yeah, she can do her own stunts in that case. He throws them down the stairs. Yeah. That's in Casino Royale.

I think they're a similar person. They come from very similar parts of the soul. I do like the idea of Ellen as 007. But I'm thinking maybe Ellen should be a Bond villain. You know? And she be a Bond villain. She's got a lair. She has a secret lair. She has all these minions that can't make eye contact with her.

They can have witty repartee with her in 007 where he's like, do you expect me to talk? And then she's like, no, Mr. Bond, I expect you to come to my Christmas party. Although, the tension between her and James Bond

is that she refuses to fuck him. Look, in my eyes, if we're going to put a woman in James Bond's seat, we should put Jane Lynch. Well, that's just another life. Constantly. That's just another life. It's just another life. You're literally...

You named the one other person closest to Ellen. Imaginable. You literally named... She's way taller than Ellen. It's the same joke. No, no, no, no, no, no. Just hold your horses. Jane Lynch is built a lot sturdier,

a lot taller than Ellen, first of all. She would bring a completely different dynamic. Give me the second. Yeah, you don't say first of all unless you have a second point, Chuck. She's been building up for this career for her entire life. I don't think so. Every day of her life has built up for this career for her entire life. I don't think so.

Every day of her life has built up to this moment where she's announced as the next James Bond. Jane Lynch is going to rule the fucking world after this. Also, I'm going to have to say that if they're going to cast a new...

Let's replace M with Whoopi goldberg okay okay let's let's get rowan atkinson as you yes okay okay okay let's go and i like it then for the bond villain let's go like let's just throw it out there let's go as wild as possible okay like change it up hunter biden hunter biden is okay it's not it's not hitting for me a good henchman hunter biden could be like the the guy that they're getting in macau or like in

hong kong you know what i mean like he could be that guy but like he can't be like the guy that they're getting in Macau or like in Hong Kong. You know what I mean? Like he could be that guy, but like he can't be like the mastermind. He's too good to be a mastermind. I want them to go all the way. I want like the new James Bond to be like Lizzo and she's like an Afro Latina. She has like a fruit hat. It's like Jaime LaMonda. And it's like her against like,

like Donald Trump or something. I want it to be fully, fully just like on that representation of the plane for the villain. I think in order to be completely inclusive, we need to have a black villain and there's really no, no other. Okay. How about this?

How about this? How about this? Then and pussy too. The best bar villain. How about this? And Pussy 2. What if it is like a Tyler Perry style movie where Tyler Perry plays all of the parts in different costumes.

I've never seen a Tyler Perry movie I didn't like. There's always a good lesson in there. What's your favorite Tyler Perry joke? Diary of a Mad Black Woman. I like the ones that... I like the non-Madea Tyler Perry movies better than the...

I can do bad all by myself. I can do bad all by myself is good. What was it with Taraji? It was called like... Taraji P. Henson. The woman scorned one. It's not Avengement, the Scott Adkins movie, but it's something close to that in the title. Girls Trip?

No, no, no. I'm just joking. Acrimony. Acrimony, right? I've never heard that one. The plot of that one is that she's married to this fucking bum who doesn't make any money, is a shitty husband.

Disgusting. Yeah. The whole time, he's tinkering in the garage on this project that is never going to come to fruition. He's wasting all their money. He's inventing Flubber. Basically.

Oh, bitch that guy is now. Flubber. She. So she's this... Oh, bitch that guy is now. A flubber. She's this scorned woman. And you think it's going to be about her dumping this loser and gaining her self-respect and fucking confidence back

and sort of coming into herself after a bad relationship. But no. It's a plot twist. She leaves this asshole. And as soon as she leaves him, the flubber that he's been making in the garage the whole time pays off.

And he's invented a new form of battery that's going to revolutionize the entire energy industry. And he becomes a billionaire overnight. And she gets no money. And then it's about her revenge on him and his new happy wife and life and girlfriend. And the message of the movie is,

be loyal to your husband, even if he's a fucking bum. Be loyal to your bum-ass husband. Even if he's making flubber in the garage. Well, because one day he might invent flubber. He might invent flubber. I mean, literally, that was Robin Williams' greatest invention.

Was flubber. Flubber is just cum. That's not cum. Wait a second. Jerry Lewis invented flubber, not Robin Williams' greatest invention. Was Flubber. Flubber is just cum. Wait a second. Jerry Lewis invented Flubber, not Robin Williams. It makes for perfect basketball players. Come on, that movie was breakthrough. Do you guys ever think how because of late stage capitalism, if we invented

Flubber in real life, it would just be used for war? It's me trying to go viral now. Felix, that right there is a trick question for me because how often do you think I sit down and think about late stage capitalism? Every day. I want you to take a guess. Jock, what was the last realization

you had about capitalism? The last realization that I had... How long ago was it? About an hour and a half ago in Chinatown at the market. You're really spinning those wheels.

The wheel, the flat wheel that hits your brain. The tire hub. I spent 20 minutes, 20 seriously, 20 minutes arguing with this woman back and forth trying to get a wallet for $5 instead of $8. I was like, no, I really need this.

Oh, when you were in Chinatown. Yeah, so I'm like, please, I really need this. This you were in Chinatown. I'm like, please, I really need this. It's for my mom's birthday. Of course, it's not for my mom's birthday. But I was like, I need this. This is beautiful. I love how it feels.

I just kept talking to her. I'm like, this wallet would look so good on me. I'm just sitting there. I'm like, please, can I have it for $5? I really need it for my mother i just keep going going going guys you're making like a very poor case if i were this woman i would just be like it's it's now 10 i don't care about your fucking mom under late stage capitalism you'd be paying 20 exactly that was such a poor poor haggle so what did you get it did you get it? Did you get it? Yeah, of course. I got it for $5. You got it for $5 because you just... Yeah, and the realization...

You jammed up her line. Yeah, and the realization about capitalism I had there was like, wow, I could be selling wallets. I don't know. You are selling wallets. You're selling your meat wallet every time you go out and do sex work. Fucking whore. I never heard it called that.

Meat wallet. That's so disgusting. That was your realization about capitalism? I don't know. I'm sorry. I don't think I've had any deep. I'm sorry. I don't think I've had any deep... I have had zero deep thoughts

about late-stage capitalism, even in that scenario. What is the closest thing? The realization that I just had is that if you bother them long enough, you can essentially steal $3 from an immigrant. I know. Or to every business.

Okay, William. Any single business that you can like beg or steal at or or like grovel to get a free something out of like jock has probably already done it and the first time jock was in new york most recently i jock and i went to well jock went to china town with a friend of mine like right over on canal street and jock was haggling for a like a little like gucci purse or something and jock was just told previous to this that like yeah you know you can go and you can barter with these people who are selling these knockoff designer brands and you know you can haggle and so jock said what does this um purse cost i don't remember the exact price it was was probably like $60 or $70. And Jock was like, okay, I'll give you

$1. I did not. As low as you could possibly go because in your mind, it just works. I say $1, they say $59. I say $2, they say $57, and then we'll just be somewhere in the middle.

I have dark tactics when it comes to buying bootleg designer stuff off canal the last time i did that um i was trying to get a product purse and the guy next to me was also selling product purses and so i he said 80 and i said i'm paying 50 and he kept saying 80 and i said okay i'm gonna buy50. And he kept saying $80 and I said, okay, I'm going to buy an $80 purse from this guy then. And then I was turning to buy this other purse from the other guy

and he said, okay, fine. You're literally just annoying all of these people. You are annoying them. You're making their day suck. I've annoyed my way into a discount. So as far as I am. their day suck. I've annoyed my way into a discount. As far as I am. That's a good tactic though. I'm like

so bad at haggling. I'm awful. I'm so bad at it. I'm just intimidated. Whatever you say. Totally. I've also never really done it on Canal Street. street i've done it elsewhere but i just yeah it feels shitty to do because i'm just like but it's ten dollars i don't care like i'd pay ten dollars to not have to be here

anymore having with you on the street yeah i've never really done it like at all really i mean unless like you're dealing with like someone where it's like fun and it's like part of the business like a freelancer that you're paying yeah yeah yeah I don't think that strongly about it either but it's like he doesn't do it for the money you know we obviously don't you know wouldn't

haggle either it's not worth it monetarily but I think Jacques just gets off on it kind of in the same way that some people get off on like dry humping at the club i get off on a discount yeah you want a discount you want it actually because the action is that mustache oh my god i do feel like a pervert though i'm definitely like a certain class of person now what do you mean i saw you are a different class of person. You're non-binary. You're below everybody else.

You ride in the cattle car. It never occurred to me until I ran into these two guys at the bar recently that I was chosen to be in a threesome because of the way that we all have mustaches. It was like a mustache thing. I hadn't seen these guys in months,

and I just looked at them, and I looked at my mustache, and I thought about how I had just shaved and had a mustache back then. And yeah, I've been fetishized, and it's from a fucking mustache. Oh my God. Stop. You've been objectified? I hate you so wait wait the other two had mustaches too huh did the other two members of the of this triad have mustaches as well yes yeah okay so then like you're all objectifying each other yeah that's

like that's like saying like a guy who lives in guangzhou who married a woman who is also born in guangzhou objectifies Asian women. Will, I appreciate that perspective, but clearly they were the perverts and I was the victim in this situation. Thank you for the perspective. Did you have

other mustache havers for decades? I'm done with this. I'm done being used for my mustache. Did you have a different kind of mustache from the other two? Okay. Jock, you know, 75% of gay men have mustaches.

It's not... No, but there's like... No, but not... It just... It really... Mike, please. Look, look, look, look really it really came out when if you saw these three guys and then i it just it was the mustaches incorporated into the sex somehow

i mean it wasn't like we were like okay take one lick of this caterpillar if someone said that to me i would be so disgusted i would call the police i would i would bring up the mace jesus christ that's sexual assault man so how was how was the threesome drug well on a scale of one to ten? It was ten. Okay, so there is really no issue then? No. Okay. No, there was no issue. This is just like when you haggle with Spirit Airlines for like, yeah, the guy who was unloading my baggage was wearing a mask below the nose.

I want to... Can I have my Wi-Fi and meals comped, please? I went home from that little threesome and went to the hotel lobby. Who do I see in the hotel lobby

checking in at 4 a.m.? Tony Shalhoub. Another famous mustache hour. These two mustache guys are like they're doing an open door for other mustache hoppers. I just want to confirm that I'm having zero

You were supposed to tap him in. I'm having zero late stage capitalism realizations, but I'm definitely having a lot of mustache realizations. I see definitely having a lot of mustache realization i see tony shalhoub how did you know it was tony shalhoub i feel like there are a lot of guys at motels at 4am that could maybe look like tony shalhoub to you it's a hotel

how do you know this is the real one it's a it's an esteemed uh uh los ang hotel. It's been open since 1992. Give me a break. The Kawada Hotel is housed several celebrities. So Tony Shalhoub was definitely there. I made eye contact with the man, and I said... I made eye contact with him. Did you suck his dick or something? Is that I have a many stroke

Give me a break Was that the most famous person You've ever seen Jock? No The most famous person you've ever seen Leonardo DiCaprio told me I was a the most famous person you've ever seen? Leonardo DiCaprio told me I was a good dancer. Oh.

When were you dancing for Leo? When did that happen? I was at the VIP. I was at the wrap-up party for Django Unchained in New Orleans at Maison. Yeah.

This is real. Jacques' family played a huge role in that movie. No. They were all in it. They did a lot of stuff that they did my friend was a set designer for it

oh that checks out yeah so tell us you danced in front of Leo I'm dancing next to the VIP section that's blocked off by barricades you're grinding your fat ass against the red rope

I'm so twinkie at this point. You're like dry humping a stanchion in front of Leonardo DiCaprio. I probably weighed a hundred pounds. I was like Oh, this is Twink era. Yeah. I was like 20 or 19. This is a little pervert freak. Maybe 21 at the oldest.

If I saw you on the street, I would try to kick you under the fridge. This girl pulled me into VIP and she said Oh my God, I love your dancing. You would be perfect for my brother in the West Village. And then she goes, you got to meet my boyfriend. She's like, Leo, come here. His name is Brian Singer. You've got to be.

Shut up. It'd be perfect for this pool party I'm headed to. Shut up. No. So Leonardo DiCaprio walks up to me and he says, oh, I liked your dancing. Which I thought that was hysterical. I mean, I would love to be complimented by Leonardo DiCaprio.

So I guess that's legit. I was like, okay, this is a good night. This was a great night. Django Unchained rap party. Leo says you're a good dancer I mean that's swish back in the day I'm so excited Jock and I are

we planned a little Louisiana trip I cannot wait to go it's gonna be so exciting like I'm gonna meet Jock's entire family it's gonna be crazy yeah he's gonna interview every one of them at gunpoint i'm gonna win them over by making fun of you in front of them they seem to really love pulling

pranks on you seriously they will love that yeah like my dad be like well you must be another faggot if you know this faggot Or a classic When one of my friends growing up Would knock on the door My dad would answer the door And they would say Hey I'm here to see Jacques I'm Jacques' friend

And he would say Jacques doesn't have any friends And he would slam the door in their face one time i was walking up to the table it was i was like maybe a freshman or a sophomore in high school and i walked up to the dinner table with my girlfriend at the time and my dad looks at her and says oh jock's here with his slut of the month my girlfriend at the time ran out crying you're gonna turn him oh my god you're gonna turn good i've seen pictures of On the plus side My dad has delivered Shut up

Your dad He was hot I thought you said he was cut I was like what the fuck He's uncircumcised Like what the hell are y'all talking about No I cannot wait. I'm going to be eating so much.

I want to go to that place. I'm going to feed him so many po' boys. He's going to get more fat. I want to go to the fruit stand, girls. Ben, do you want to try something for me, actually? What's that? When you're in Louisiana. Actually, when you're on your way back,

bring some food with you and see if TSA fucks with you the same way that they fuck with Jock. They can let me get free sandwiches through TSA no no wait can I come come back from Louisiana with po boys taped to your chest like Midnight Express or something like a dynamite vest yeah I would love a dynamite vest if anyone has an extra one I just well before we end the show i i uh i do want to bring this down with uh a little reading series so i'm gonna send it over here in the chat and i'm sure you

guys have seen this one before oh what's this one sec i i have some important news to break so once max is done with this little gentle soy pussy talk. We can just edit. We can do a little edit here. Oh, yeah, we can. You're setting it in the chat? In the Twitter chat. Okay, I see.

Oh, okay. I'm bringing it up. What are y'all talking about? Sorry, what was that, Jack? Oh, I said, how have you been? Your mic's off completely. Hello? Yeah, there it is.

There you go. I just said, how have you been? Oh, I've been good. While we were paused. Yeah. I'm doing great. Let me see. Oh, I get this. Sorry, I totally forgot.

I've not seen this, but I'm already loving it. It's so funny. I'm already loving the headline. It's really good. I had some funny articles. Can I read y'all some? We literally have one in front of us, Jock, right now. We have one. We planned this.

While Felix is coming back from the bathroom, though, give us a little a little taste so uh i love taliban officials strict punishment executions will return wait that's a funny article that's the funny article you wanted to read out of you sorry what's funny about that it's it's light what what where do you imagine that going okay just look i just thought it was funny what you did is you went to google what you did is you went to google and you typed in news and then you just do that look i i have a lot of daily mail articles that i don't think i don't know what your. This is a bunch of Daily Mayo articles that you're reading.

Cracker ass bitch. Anyway, this is from Slate. You guys love doing this on your show. Whenever there's a lull in the news, you go to... It's a comedy gold. Whenever you just squeeze that lemon for a little juice.

Dear Slate, dear normal person, what can I do about these freaks in my life? Comedy gold. Whenever you need to squeeze that lemon for a little juice. Dear normal person, what can I do about these freaks in my life? So, dear care and feeding. This must be their parenting vertical. Yeah. I found a creepy list. Care and feeding? Yeah, it's like a fucking animal.

No, it sounds like a grinder bio. That's Jock's bio. That's Jacques Smithy's bio. Bear and feeder. Damn, I wish they were feed me. Dear Karen Feeding, my son, Jack, 14, has been maintaining a spreadsheet that tracks all of his classmates' problematic actions.

Yes. Jack has always had difficulty fitting in, but he's a compassionate and intelligent boy we do not allow our children to have their own computers to prevent the risk of being radicalized by websites so kids share a laptop that we monitor and control access to we blindfold our children every morning to keep them from seeing right wing i i gotta say as a lifelong fake poster i am smelling the hints of a fake post yeah yeah i don't know i don't know i mean i've lived with strict parents before you know this is totally within within the realm of possibility i'm not saying this is real, but I'm saying up to here,

it's like, okay, kind of plausible. There's some fucking weird kids out there. Yeah, but the little tell here that would lead me to believe that this might be a fake post is that the type of parent who would be worried about their child being a chopper with to alt-right pipeline

because of unmonitored computer access is not the same type of parent that would allow their teenage kids to have to share a laptop because then they'd be like, oh, what if their homework assignment is late or something like that? Those kids are all getting different Chromebooks. They have a laptop that is so parent-proof that you can only use Google Docs and Google scholar well i'm being really generous here but like this is like the moment where things kind of turn turn um the the rise of soy people in this nation i believe

there we go someone someone's jockeying for a spot on Tucker. Jock Carlson over here. We found an Excel spreadsheet in Jack's folder that listed the names of all of his classmates, as well as dates and descriptions of their problematic behavior. Some of the descriptions I saw include has a mom who is a cop, no pronouns in InstaBio,

laughed at a fat joke, lists problematic show as one of their favorites. Probably like Ghostbusters, the new show. It's not. No, it's a monk with Tony Shalhoub. Yeah, it's NCIS. List problematic show as one of their favorites. Mimic the foreign accent and used cis-normative language

and if that doesn't tell you that this is a fucking fake I don't know what will I don't know again I'm gonna go back to the soy way the soy trend the amount of people

that are the amount of people are are the amount of people are invested now in like being Look, I just mean that whoever whatever supposed child that wrote this

is obviously It's not a child that's writing this it's the parent that's writing this. I know, but who wrote the problematic list? Yeah. They're part of the soyification of America

the ongoing soyization. He's gone soft. He thinks that he is really doing something heroic for his classmates and for society. We need to fill this child full of alcohol and green alcohol and put him in a party stat. We need to

get him to feel up a girl, a 14-year-old at a party and make normal. I'm getting this 14-year-old pussy stat. Yeah. That's right. I like it like mimicking. This is why we need four kids, five kids for everything, including...

Well, regardless of whether or not this prompt is fake, there is a actual response that has been written back to this person you know um they said this to finish what the um what the person wrote in they said while i'm pleased to see jack is taking an interest in his peers i get a weird feeling about i get a weird feeling about his spreadsheet as much as i don't contone the behaviors uh mentioned it seems a bit creepy for him to be monitoring his classmates i also wonder what he is trying to do with the document it's his hit list another concern is that we are white

and some of the kids on the list are black given the long history of white people policing black existence i question whether jack is the right person to be taking on this task and whether it should be more appropriate whether it would be more appropriate coming from a BIPOC person. Let's get a Latina making this spreadsheet, please. Let's get some black snitches in here, please. That was such a twist. I did not see that coming,

that the whole time the kid was a racist. It's a good twist considering it's fake. If I had written a fake, I would not have bothered to include one. So props to this person for doing that. I guess I must be like 20 intelligence levels below everyone in this chat. Oh, brother, you don't know that. Not knowing that this is a fake.

The response given back to this person, their query was titled, problematic or productive. Dear POP, based on what you've mentioned here, his list does seem a little creepy. Kids at that age should be having fun and not documenting every transgression his peers are making. Yeah, that's for adults to do.

Yeah, that's for me. That's actually my job as a journalist. So could you please tell your kids to lay off my beat, lady? Also, the fact that he's blatantly lying about his involvement in creating this list should be a huge red flag. If everything is on the up and up, then

what does he have to hide? I would personally call his bluff and say, okay, if this spreadsheet has nothing to do with you, then let's delete it. If he raises a stink, then you know something bigger is at play here. It's like, yeah, ask the gun underneath his head. I respect

your viewpoint about being uncomfortable with jack policing the behavior of his black peers but as a black man that should be the least of your concerns your main objective this is is this this guy's job at slate to just field questions from like white people who are either trolling so good trolling him or asking him in earnest. Like, that's crazy. It would be. We need to do that. Are they part of the Slate Union?

Is there a Slate Union? I don't know, but they need to start letting gay guys get this kind of job. That'd be so much fun. Oh, my God. Yes. That already exists. It's like, what's his name? The sex column is done by Rich.

Dan Savage. No, Rich Juziak or whatever. Juziak. Oh. Does the slate sex column. John Juziak. That is not Juziak. Rich Juziak.

It's Rich Juziak and the... Oh, John Juziak. The former adult performer. Dr. Drew Pinsky as well. No, John... He's not gay, but he's in the family. No. Are you sure it's not one of the Juziaks?

It's not John or John Juziak. He's a completely different person who is... There are people who exist that you haven't seen in movies or in real life. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. There's no in between. You don't have to lie to me. Anyway, just to put a cap on it. On a positive note, there are far worse things Jack could be doing than this.

Wrong. No. Wrong. positive note there are far worse things jack could be doing than this wrong no your kid should be tagging bridges lady i mean come on this kid this kid should be breaking beer bottles yeah the highway at the skate park not this fucking bullshit when i was when i was like in between elementary and middle school we were standing in a parking lot getting all of the glass bottles that people left behind and throwing them into traffic. And that was our fun as kids.

The amount of crimes you have committed, the amount of federal offenses you have admitted to doing on this podcast. I cannot wait until what you just said is found out by someone and you get retroactively like charged with a federal crime and they play this clip in court yeah when jock tries to run for the first queer president or the first queer not even resident dog dog catcher. A bushwick dog catcher.

And it's brought him to disqualify you. Yeah, no. This would get immediately brought up in Discovery. You'd never be able to get a pack behind you. Forget it. Your dreams of Washington are cooked. They were cooked since the beginning. The cards have been

stacked against you. It's over, Jacques. There was an article published on the 18th of 2021 by fox news and i want to break down how no we just did it shut the fuck up i do want to i do want to i do i do want to like you know put my foot down here i am now rating this as 100% fake post. Yeah. I was doing so much worse when I was 14. Online even. You were holding people even more accountable?

Yes. I was holding them accountable with a lot of slurs. It's clearly a fake post. Now that I'm reading through it, It's clearly a fake post. I'm reading through it. It's clearly a fake post. In the list of behaviors that were clocked in the spreadsheet,

one of them was mimic the foreign accent. And I just think it'd be really funny if the foreign accent in question was British. Incredibly problematic behavior. That would also be ableism

seeing as they are subspecies over there i i do have an interesting question though because lay it on me i will at first like i thought oh this is like a right wing guy who did like a fake post at fooled slate yeah but then i thought deeper about it and i was like maybe because it's like most of the people i saw sharing it being like look how ridiculous look at this this is like what all bug children are like now um maybe this was like an apolitical or like liberal or left-wing guy who was like oh i'm gonna like get this enslaved and fool right-wingers into sharing it so what do you think it is i think it could be anything i

think that's a it's a very promising read uh it could also to be honest you know like weird things have happened it could absolutely be real it could be real and it could be that play in particular to felix where it's like the kid is like an ultra lib like annoying ass 14 year old who's like really into politics and he's like ah black people are racist against whites this is why we can't have you know like critical race theory in schools just some fucking point dexter i'm gonna take a different tack because i think i mean this was even copped to recently every as regards some of the uh most famous dear prudy letters many of which we read on the show yes and then you know and then like with the proviso that we were like,

these are probably fake. The person who did that was just someone who wanted to be published somewhere. Oh, yeah, I saw that. I saw that, yeah. I think it was just a way to get your writing out there. That's literally Peggy Hill. I mean, that is very funny.

That's literally Peggy Hill syndrome. Doing anything that you posted. I don't know what that... King of the Hill. She's just She's just always trying to get published in the newspaper. I got a fake letter. I think LA is really doing something to your brain. I don't...

I think you can look this up. I did get a fake letter published in the Daily News Letters to the Editor section where I was voicing complaints about their cartoon section and how too many of the jokes were lewd and inappropriate for children.

They published it in the Daily News Letters to the Editor section. Nice. Because I used to read the Daily News every day when I took the subway to work, and my favorite part of any newspaper, especially the tabloids, is the Letters to the Editor section.

So that was like... It was the best. I did an actual in-print fake post. Yeah. newspaper especially the tabloids is the letters to the editor section so that was like i did i did an actual in print fake post yeah no those i remember that i do remember when that got published that was yeah pre-show i think yeah yeah that's before we even started doing the show yeah i i i used to love the letters to the editor for both the sun times and the chicago tribune because it is all like mini John Cass's. Yeah.

If you read a newspaper whose readership is mostly like the median age is 75, you know, that's when you're going to get the real fire and the letters to the editor. John Cass started following me on Twitter. John Cass now follows me on Twitter because I posted

that video of Kamala with the, like, doing her, like, spiel about how interesting space is to a bunch of children. And he retweeted it with some kind of, I don't know, like, some take. And then just started following me. And I wanted to change my username

to, like, John Cass molested me or something. So all of his followers would see it. But I was like, I have too much to do today. I could not dedicate a day to seeing what the response to this is. But yeah, I mean, I don't know what I don't even know what to do with it. Kamala was really, she was channeling

Demi in that clip talking about space and how fascinating it was. That was like the happiest, like genuinely most happy i've ever seen kamala it's like maybe she what do you think she was off a bean maybe that's why colin powell died he was taking up all the adenochrome she acts uh she acts like if you microdosed every drug at once if you had a tiny bit of every drug imaginable is how she's having a non-binary stroke she the moment where she turns to the children and says you're gonna see this craters of space close in person i was really pulled me and i was like in chica i was like

i'm gonna see this too yeah all right they'll find a way to send you to space soon enough. I believe that. Hopefully. Inshallah. Fingers crossed. If you have a way to send Rock to space, send us a line. In the meantime,

it's been great having you guys, Will and Felix. Thank you very much for coming on. Always a joy. Of course. Of course. Love you guys. Appreciate it.

I guess we could plug your show while we're at it. We could do that. If you guys. I guess we could plug your show while we're at it. We could do that. If you guys want to listen to Trappo Trap House, the 102.5 FM Most Markets, Monday through Thursday at 8pm. Will and Felix, thank you very much for coming on.

Thank you guys. We want to be number one again. We want to overtake True Crime Obsessed. Oh my god. thank you guys we want to we want to be number one again we want to overtake true crime obsessed oh my god i just like him whores yeah just like my personal feelings i have nothing against them there's like no probably overlap between our audience there's really but like yeah and it's like i do kind of like them because someone told me they don't even like do they just watch documentaries true crime documentaries and talk about it which is hilarious to do no i want someone as low effort as us to be number one i

mean i don't want anyone trying to be but yeah but it's like we also want to be number one yeah we need to get to 46 cases i mean you guys are gonna have to start you're gonna have to veer into their lane and start doing true crime stuff okay we do do true crime. It's called the United States of America. Sheesh! Woo! All right. Thank you, guys. Bye, everyone.

Bye, y'all. Cheers. Bye. All those cities on the ground If they move there Will they ever come out Of the ground Are they gonna raise the children In tiny caverns in the ground How they gonna raise the children In tiny caverns in the ground Send the children out to play

In the sound they found La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, Who's gonna be the ones who live beneath the sea?