Seeking Derangements - *UNLOCKED* SD 204 - JeffHERee Star

Episode Date: February 17, 2023

Since we're partying at Mardi Gras we're unlocking a recent premium episode in which we talk about Jeferee Stars NFL trade, Tim Gunn style gay guys, how scary it was to see Andy Dick when you were a kid, and Jacques getting on ivermectin.

We'll be right back. Thank you. Everyone, welcome back to Seeking Derangements. I know if you heard last week, you may be a little worried for Jock's health. After hearing that, he does go to an urgent care clinic named after a fast food restaurant that has misdiagnosed him with multiple infections many different times. STIs, bacteriums, disease. Is there multiple diseases? There is a health update. you have received an actual diagnosis yes what of something that's been plaguing you so these idiots didn't catch it yesterday

like i asked them to i go to the doctor and i say what's wrong with me and they say nothing you you're just you just. You're just crazy. You just have a little boil from chafe. You work too hard. Take a rest. And antibiotic. Then, to my horrifying discovery, the culprit happens to be a parasite. Multiple parasites sucking the blood from me

alive from a place that's not savory oh so there's you have a parasitic infection is what's going on and you texted me you texted the group chat you said i'm i'm i'm gonna take over ivermectin for real this is not a joke and ben replied sounds good thumbs up which i thought was very typical ben to dismiss my medical stop my major medical i've stopped being surprised or concerned when it sounds good when i look like this yeah yeah i look like a mad scientist honestly i'm not gonna ask why he's starting to take ivermectin i'm just happy that he's been prescribed something that he's agreed to take so sounds good um my partner not my partner a partner of mine has a parasitic infection as well and they sexually transmitted so the um we what we got

here yes maybe so and um so what the urologist prescribed is a vermectin for both of us and uh you know that's gracious enough i asked today coming up y'all who's doing ivermectin with a boo you think when they're when they're urgent care messed up two separate times and you get two free appointments that they would at least do it right but you know they give me the cream i said can i have two ivermectin i feel like you have the doctor no i have a cream too i need to yeah sure that ivermectin is something that is actually prescribed for this problem yeah did you get this from the in and out this is recommended by the med student oh it's a student that's amazing well no no no no no no this is not how i was supposed to say that so both topical and oral ivermectin ivermectin have been used to successfully treat.

However, only topical ivermectin lotion is currently approved by the FDA to treat what you have and don't want to say. And I got the pills. It's pretty obvious what it is. So you have the pills. So you're taking worse medicine. I'm about to take the pill. It's on the delivery route. I don't believe that you have the pills is what you're so you're taking medicine i'm about to take about to take the pill it's on the delivery route i don't believe you're getting ivermectin delivered to you right now it's a cream you should be taking a cream for what you have you shouldn't be no no i have a

separately i do have a cream for it i have also a spray let's just say y'all when jock told me that he had this i thought he was talking about his lunch let's just say y'all when jock told me that he had this i thought he was talking about his lunch let's just say i spent 570 today trying to cure my problem you dropped 570 on ivermectin no ivermectin on the myriad of things i had to do i had to do in the courtyard myott of things i gotta do i had i had to do at least 200 pounds of laundry with the bedding and what you've got can you feel them because they're like little bugs you know this is the worst this is my nightmare genuinely this is one i've not i know it's funny so i have to talk about it hess is over there chuckling already. The tussle is out. You don't have to.

No, I have to. You are a buddy. This is a Patreon. This is a Patreon one, if that helps your concerns at all. Your nerves. So, I mean, it's not... It's only going to be like the people who listen to this. Well, it's not like anyone listened to this.

I've had sex with... I forgot to tell you guys, we lost thousands of subscribers. We only have 30 listeners left on Patreon. Okay, well, no, that doesn't matter. So, yes, if you deducted, I have crabs. I'm embarrassed. The only other time I've ever had crabs was in Austin, Texas, and I hate that place so much.

And they were silly to me. And they were delicious. And they were delicious. I had crabs and a leech. Oh, I remember when you got a leech and I had no sex for four months leading up to that why did I get crabs

you were absolutely horrible to deal with during that time I remember and then it's just such a damn it's embarrassing I'm sorry you're dealing with that I'm having sex with the least amount of people i have in my entire life consistently with one person oh yeah under 10 i mean that's like a lot less like what do you mean under 10 you keep it under 10 i've had sex

probably with four people in the last regularly or just like hooking up no one person regularly only okay four people over the last yeah that's fine i mean i i feel like that shouldn't be behavior that gets you something as bad as crabs but this is one of the worst moments of my life karma coming back to get you you know i spent two hours shaving my ass and my pubes and last time it took me three hours and I just gave up at one point. I have enough medication that as long as I

shave the majority of it. Look. Is it itchy? That's a yes. Both hands in the air. Both hands in the air. Let me just say, let me just tell you, it's not good. Crotch is on fire. Put both hands in the air. Put both hands in the air. Where's the other one? Let me just say, let me just tell you, it's not good. Crotch is on fire.

Imagine if you could see them. Someone's got a little seafood boil in their pants. Imagine if, wow, that was the specialty of the night that this little chef's been saving. I just wanted to say it. I'm sorry. No, don't be sorry. Look at me. I'm broken.

Nothing you say can affect me negatively. You look incredibly fucked up today. You look more like a mad scientist than usual. You look like you'd be on Tucker Carlson under the, like, sub the header, like, queer groper or something. What's that

presidential candidate vermin? This man's trying to buy a child at the playground with his food stamps. I'm vermin this this is a child at the playground with his food stamp i'm vermin's lost child hello darkless my old friends you kind of look like um my dad i know but you do kind of look like your dad. But you kind of look like Betty White, old girls era, mixed with, who's that little cracked up gay guy

who used to run around on TV? His outfit's unhinged. Richard something. Simmons. Richard Simmons. Yeah, you look like Richard Simmons crossed with Betty White. Thank you for kicking me while I'm down.

I think that's kind of... Don't even try to say, oh, so you're going to try to say've uh it's kind of don't even try this i'm like don't even actually think that's really cool that's so in well again look at me i'm broken you can't break me any worse the only two people on mood boards across High Fashioned are Richardson and you. What the hell is going on? We should try to get drunk on a on a

idea course. Mood stabilizer? No, I won't take it. Yeah, like in the Louis Vuitton creative director's board room. We need a new anorexic girl and yeah and you're like have you thought have you ever considered a Jacques

I would be so good at being anorexic again y'all really didn't know me when I was anorexic and bullying I was hot I did legal weed mixed with regular weed and a gravity bong and I lived on top of a bed of uh

shirts okay i mean so it sounds like you weren't slaying that much you lived on the top it also doesn't sound different than your life now at all my life is so much better and different right now don't even look at me like that ben like you superior blue eyes like that gray eyes we're equals jock well hess is not equal because she is not even a thumb she's just a thumbnail she's not even acting like a friend jock gets really scared when he can't see hess's video and yeah because i don't know what tesla's doing over there well i'm in pajamas i'm just laying back i'm just literally she's chilling i get it episode today jock it's okay i get it it's fine i'm the only one amped up on on crabs

you're saying that like you're like hassan i should be amped up on crabs. Kids today are doing enough work for the show. Infecting themselves with crabs for a buzz. Ben told... I called Jock a crab chaser. Ben, stop talking about it, but I'll go ahead and say it. Yeah, I was crying all night again. What about it? You would cry too if you saw Transparent. I just said this is literally how we opened last week's episode.

Pick a screenshot of us. Why are you showing me a picture of this? Me and my dad, how we look alike today. Oh, he does? Yeah, you do look alike. Your dad's also a fucking weird freak too. I don't know why. I mean, I don't know why I come on here to defend.

Your dad has really, really scary vibes. I'm just going to be honest. I think your dad and I would be good friends. I think your dad and I would be... This girl who's younger than y'all who's in that... No, same age. They get along

and she doesn't think he's weird. She loves him. She thinks he's cool. This girl that's younger than me gets along with him. Is what you just... You're're not i'm not selling this classic classic jock things where he tries to make a defense but actually makes it way more weird and my dad is cool even though he's done bad things thank you um no i just feel like you have to be i don't know getting into gynecology as a man just seems kind of weird to me what's so great about your dad he barely pronounces anything right what's wrong with him come on give me give me a fucking break he can barely build a fence speaks and you're fluent he can know arguably one of the one things he can do is build

fences I was not being racist you could say the only thing he can do is build a fence and now it makes sense he seems like a guy who never even met my dad well who's dad is cooler okay which one of us has the coolest

wait Hessa what do you really think this calls for a dad off when you have a contest hessa's dad is on tv jock my dad was on tvc last night i don't believe that literally was i've seen the video i do not believe that i do not believe that i don't... Hessa... My dad's never been on TV. You're already successful enough. If your dad is on TV, I'm going to commit suicide. That is not fair.

I told you that you need to stop leveling up with your family and doing these kind of things. It's not fair to compete this way. I think my dad wins. Sorry. I wish Max was back on here sometimes just because I didn't have to be jealous

of the way he looks. The fact that your dad is building a compound I think is... My dad has built several compounds. Where the hell is your head at? One compound and Ben's dad is suddenly the carpentry actor. My dad's got a carpentry studio.

He does, but he's really scary. Anyway, someone else who's really scary that's been scaring me by being really scary recently, Jeffrey Starr. Have you guys seen Jeffrey Starr parading around her NFL trade? I've seen her. Excuse me, Ben? Yeah, you can call Jeffrey her. Jeffrey he her call Jeffrey her Jeff

I think it's pronounced him Jeff her Jeff her Jeff her no I think it's pronounced him Jeff her

he her Jeff Henson no Jim Henson it's insane I guess Jeffree Star

is just an evil gay guy yeah you know and he's one of the biggest you know who he looks like is what um when in an anime there's like a villain that's like a little that's like too tall and like has no eyebrows and like they look kind of like a snake and there's like a character and they just like are really sexually weird towards the character and then they have like a weird attack that's kind of what jeffree star looks like to me no for sure he's very serpentine and menacing very very scary i'll be honest i would not want my kid in a bathroom yeah no no you would i don't i think it's i don't think you would want your

kid in the bathroom with uh what it's like like if i was like a gay kid right now if i saw all of this shit it would definitely make me crazier i remember growing up and like the first gay person i ever saw on tv was like andy dick and i was like oh fuck it can't be like no no he's like double triple and now if we think about andy dick he's just like one of the most normal gay men what are you talking about are you stupid if we've got people like jeffree star no andy dick is so much more insane than jeffrey star yeah oh my god are you stupid what do you ever open do you ever read page six like really wait what you get out much andy dick up to he got arrested this week goes to jail like once a month for like

touching a kid's penis and saying small or something he's not for doing a joe a joan river style roast about a specific child's penis no no literally he got arrested recently for not uh registering with the sex offenders wait he's a sex offender okay i'm i'm completely wrong yeah you're like wow you're like that guy so normal we used to have such cool gay icons. No, not that they were cool. Just that they were not as like... Hessa, you heard it first. They weren't as freaky, but I guess he is incredibly freaky.

Oh, yeah. That boy is so freaky. Oh, my God. He looks like shit right now, too. He looks so... Okay, I completely... Oh, also he's bi. Never mind.

He is not bi. I don't believe that. He claims to be bisexual, so... I don't believe him. That's, uh... I feel bad because... Honestly, just let him... I'd rather have him not gay.

Bi actor Andy Dick arrested. Bi actor Andy Dick. Bi actor Andy Dick. Arrested on felony burglary charge What does he need to steal? He's Oh he groped an Uber driver's genitals in West Hollywood in 2018

That's why that's what he failed to register as a sex offender for He hit his boyfriend in the head with a liquor bottle I don't know why you were like Oh Andy Dick's just like a run of the mill gay guy Well I didn't know why you were like oh andy dick's just like a run-of-the-mill gay guy well i didn't know about any of this i wasn't trying to say he's normal i was just saying you know it seemed like someone like jeffree star would not have been able to

you confusing it with andy sullivan but jeffree stars is honestly seems like a least toxic person i i think like the first um gay guy i like have a memory of like seeing and being like oh that's that's a gay guy is tim gunn from project runway tim gunn is an amazing role model yeah that guy's gay i remember i used to i used to do his voice um to my family i was like obsessed with doing the voice make it work i can't i don't know if i can do it i don't know if i can do it quite quite so much anymore but actually yeah this is pretty close to a good tim gone impression um but i was i was doing it so much my dad was like stop it right now he was like little did you know yeah little did he know why don't we ever call hessa such an amazing gay role model yeah um because he's so kind of sexless you know like he's not horny at all yeah he never makes he never he's not the kind of he's

not the kind of gay guy who sees like a sausage and it goes agent dr freud which is 90 of gay man you know like he is just he's like an old queen kind of an old classy queen horny a classy old queen yeah you know he um has not had a boyfriend since the 80s because his first love died of hiv isn't that so sad i know tim gunn that makes me yes the person we've been talking about the past two minutes i know no a different guy that we i'm sorry i thought i thought keanu reeves but okay um no i love him and i heard him talk about that on Fresh Air with David Gross. Not you listening to Fresh Air. But sometimes if there's a good guest, I will smash the fucking place.

That's where Ben's been stealing all his ideas from. And I did for Tim Gunn because I love Tim Gunn. He's an icon. I love Project Runway so much. That was my favorite show when I was a kid, literally. I never watched that much, but during quarantine, I watched so much of it. I finished almost all of the show in a month,

and it infected my brain so bad, I would literally refer to pants as, like, the pant. Yeah. Make it work okay he's how i can't kill when he says so i try to sew my own mask i was i was insane at that time like you know everyone else was i the thing i also unending love for tim gunn since my the thing i also love about tim gunn is that he's like so like soft-spoken and like kind and like gentle but like he will tell one of the designers if they are like i was like oh so what do you have going on here what's the plan with this and then um they're like oh i want to do like

a really stupid thing and then he'll like look at them like give them like this like death glare like and then they're just like you don't think that's a good idea he's like well i just think you need to think about what you just said to me and i need to i need you to picture what that will look like in your mind and i want you to maybe think about doing something else, perhaps. Yeah. No, he's one of the best gay guys of all time. Oh, yeah. He's up there. Let's get back to one of the lowest forms of gay men ever. Jeffree Star keeps posting pictures.

Ross Matthews? Well, yeah, Ross Matthews is... I mean, everyone's a whole episode into just naming gay guys. We can do that. Imagine them having sex right now gay guys we can do that imagine them having sex right now daniel craig yeah yeah imagine the threesome between the three of them so jeffrey star has posted all of these pictures with this hulking man who is obscured in some way in each picture but he's just tweeting things like his team didn't make it to the hashtag super bowl but he's six six things like, his team didn't make it to the hashtag Super Bowl, but he's 6'6 and plays perfect in the bedroom.

That's funny. Okay, in this picture, there is a fucking gun on the counter. That's my favorite, and with a silencer on it. What the fuck? Does he need a silencer? Is he planning on killing this guy?

It's a hitman mission literally he's a bad boy like that this thing is like the gun is kind of obscured by a bunch of like fucking products on the counter but when I saw it I was just like I was laughing

so hard it's literally like a video game pistol with a silencer on it. And they're in the bathroom of a hotel. What is going on? Are they role playing that they're hitting them? Is Jeffree Star taking people out?

Is she shooting people? I didn't know she was capable of dates. Or love. I think she's lying. I don't think there's a... I think he's lying. I don't think there's a... I don't think this guy's... I think he's lying. Do we think it's an NFL player?

Yeah. No, I mean, because obviously, obviously if it was an NFL player, like he would probably be like, hey, can you not take a weird picture of me with my back to you right next to me? With us to silence her. This is the original tweet.

Goodbye, LA. Time to spend some time with my hashtag nfl boo in wyoming and it's both of them on a private jet um and you can see his hand and i'm not kidding i saw a bunch of people do research on like they're doing forensic analysis on all of these pictures to try to deduce who this nfl player is people are incredibly incredibly invested into exposing this guy you can tell from the back that he has like the worst haircut of all time which is funny looking at his hair it's like okay so in this picture you can see his like his legs on the seat across the aisle from jeffrey and he's wearing socks with uh i'm looking at the gun picture never mind hang on

before this okay so you can see his hand clasping jeffrey's like stiletto nail claw and there's a freckle and there's like some veins on the man's hand and there were people who were this is mostly on tiktok but they were literally like searching through hands pictures of hands of nfl players and trying to like overlay uh veins trying to overlay um the freckle that's right uh oh my god i have a freckle there it's you oh my god you've got i'm not even kidding i just realized that i have a freckle in that same exact spot wait what if you are having sex with jeffree star it's your hand that is literally your hand look at the vein as well it's like it's exactly like bisecting the veins like right in the exact same spot oh wait i'm your jeffree star's boyfriend i'm gonna post it and start the

rumor that i'm uh six six and fucking jesse but unfortunately this guy's identity has not been exposed yet um and none of the people who've done this forensic analysis have come back with compelling evidence someone did a someone did a skull side by side oh my god not a skull overlaid one of my tom brady's head with this guy's head it's the same i can't remember like what the context was for this image but one of the hardest like maybe i've ever laughed at a picture in my life and i cannot find the image at all but i like i looked up like tom brady head size because i was so curious and i found a picture where it's like him like smiling looking like a fucking idiot and there's like um a line drawn like from his like chin up to the top of his head and like it says

like the size and it's like a crazy it's like 3.62 feet or something okay jeffree star jeffree star posted a dm request that he got on his instagram from a woman named sarin anderson and she said i'm getting harassed because my husband is in the nfl and people think it's him please stop doing this and jeffree star said oh my god now the hashtag nfl wives are coming after me girl don't be so insecure i don't mess with married men imagine how imagine i would kill myself if i lost my chill star imagine like the the thrill imagine how happy jeffree star was when he got that dm oh my god like imagine being jeffree star being like a psycho and you get that dm and you're like oh my god do you think him and kanye actually had sex jeffree star and kanye did i stutter yeah that was a rumor there was a rumor

because they were both in wyoming at the same time which is exactly what is the flimsiest fucking i know i know but jeffree star realized that it's uh incredibly like has a lot of viral potential and it's pretty funny and intriguing if jeffree star um constantly makes it look like he is fucking straight incredibly like famous people um jeffree star 20 2023 motto suck dick make lipstick and live my damn life 100 authentically that's like you making fun of a gay guy he's so evil okay but then tom brady resigned from the the nfl or whatever he quit he retired and people were like oh my god tom brady's we're gonna marry jeffrey yeah i well i think jeffrey's

i mean we all know tom brady's in love with that um that nyu uh that nyu sophomore that he posted a picture with yeah you've never you haven't seen that picture? What happened? It's a picture of him snuggling with his son at the pool. And he was like, love this beautiful... Yeah, he loves kissing his kids. Yeah, and

I retweeted... I reposted it and I was like, oh my god, he's dating an NYU Ardaho. And the person who posted the picture originally deleted it and blocked me. oh my god, he's dating an NYU art ho. And the person who posted the picture originally deleted it and blocked me. Damn. Good for her.

For the art ho or Brady? Tom. Oh my god, Jeffrey posted a picture of himself next to this man in underwear, and she said, throat goat. Oh, my God. And she looks so evil.

Who is he talking about? The NFL player. Wait, I want to see this picture. It's on his Twitter. It's so hard to misgender Jeffrey like this. And by that, I mean call him a he. That's his real gender. You You know he kind of looks like Gwen Stefani

Oh my god I can't picture They have a similar look But that's about it on Jeffrey I'm just hoping that this guy Does get revealed But it's just It's just something Jeffrey starts doing for attention To be honest

Yeah I'm looking for the picture oh here it is so scary throat yak i'm the throat yak oh my god imagine getting star from jeffrey had i from jeffrey's star and how scary that i would be horrified he looks like i'd be so scared if he sucked my dick i would probably start crying he's probably a snake tongue he would be wrapping it around he would be smelling your dick with his tongue like a snake and that picture he kind of looks like that guy who became the korean girl yes he does oh stiletto the stiletto nails that close to your dick those nails are like scary like i think he probably uses like one of those big grinding like stone wheels that you use to sharpen a sword in like the middle ages yeah like sparks literally

flying up from his acrylics holding them to a razor point no he's so scary well good for him at least he's found love maybe we should one of us should do this for attention have sex with jeffree star

yeah would you have sex with Jeffree Star, Ben? You wouldn't do it? I just said I would be horrified and scared. No, of course not. This just seems like your type. Well, judging by this picture of the plane, it looks

like you actually might do it. That's true. I guess the inroad here is I lie and say it's me. Y'all, it's me. Oops. Meanwhile, we have James Charles, who is just doing nothing right now. I genuinely like James Charles.

James Charles. I know. I think he's hilarious. He's incredibly stupid. But I don't think he's like... I don't know. Jeffree Star just feels so much more evil to me than Charles, who's just like tacky and stupid.

Just like a faggot. Just like a faggot who keeps trying to have sex with straight guys. But you know what? In many ways, the opposite of me, who's like a trans woman who keeps trying to have sex with gay guys. That would suck, man. No, I just feel like... Okay, what does James Charles really do?

You know, nothing that bad. He tries to fuck straight guys, and then everyone yells... All of Gen Z yells at James Charles for trying to fuck a straight guy, and it's kind of just like... 18 year old with tiktok hair who um wants clout who is straight rapist um can instantly yeah can instantly become famous by um like sliding into his dms and being like hi and then he responds like hi haha and then they post a screenshot of that and they're like i feel really uncomfortable i feel really unsafe i like yeah i mean i guess like the

age of course is there's a dilemma into it whatever well he's also like he's isn't he like how old is he now i don't know i guess james charles i guess i just yes jock James Charles? Yes, Jock. I guess I'm just assuming that he is like mid-20s. He's 23. Yeah, whatever. Let him be a horny little freak. That's what I say. I think, speaking of YouTubers... Oh, yeah.

Mr. Beast. Mr. Beast has been curing people of their blindness. And that's a big problem, y'all. We need to stop it. Those people should still be blind. He's exploiting them for a cloud. Here's my question. He needs to stop.

It's really crazy that you can be blind and there's a cure and they just don't give it to you. Yeah, no, I know it is insane. Isn't that like... I watched that video. It was the first video of Mr. Beast that I ever watched. It was not familiar with him outside of just like knowing that he was online. We should explain to Jock who Mr. Beast is. I need to know.

I'm so concerned. Mr. Beast is the most popular YouTuber, I think by a pretty wide margin. His videos get like hundreds of millions of views every single video and um he he makes like 55 million dollars a year just off youtube is he hot more than that probably no he's not hot um he and looks really weird yeah he looks like a hayseed type you know who he kind of looks like is that um that a soy version of that um guy who was like i was looking at trans porn i was like yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah no sure but he

he makes videos called like um lamborghini versus hydraulic press or i gave one million dollars to a homeless man or like, um, you know, like shit like that, you know, like would you 1000 blind people see for the first time? I'm seeing that's his most popular. That's his most recent, not his most popular by any means,

but, um, definitely his most recent. Like, um, here's a good one. Last to take hand off jet keeps it that's like that's his most popular genre of is like drawing a circle on the ground and being like the last person to leave this circle gets

one billion dollars cash right now and then um yeah yeah or i saw one of his where it's like i'm in a home depot and there's a giant circle in the middle of the store and i have many things you can fit into this circle I will buy for you. Oh my god there's one called um. We're like making pyramids out of TVs. There's one called I didn't eat food for 30 days. Okay me.

There's one called I built Willy Wonka's chocolate factory. These are the kinds of like it's like I really think he's like a genius for like having the kind of brain who could think of this shit it's like literally like if you

gave the stupidest person in the world infinite money and ask them like what do you want to do I want to build Willy Wonka's chocolate factory no this one giving iPhonesiphones instead of candy on halloween i gave my 100 millionth subscriber an island 10 10 000 every day you survive in prison extreme one million dollar hide and seek i got so fun to do this as a job i got hunted by the

military okay now i can relate to this guy i kind of want to watch that one yeah i'm like i just tuned up understand why he has the success he's gotten oh my god i just dusted the crabs up to listen to this one and the the thumbnails are so funny like this one is would you would you quit school for a hundred thousand dollars and it's a picture of a hand handing like five stacks of a hundred dollar bills to like a six-year-old boy who's like a soy facing i love youtube thumbnails are beautiful i just love scrolling through them yeah oh my god i want to be in one of his videos i bought everything in five stores but people were mad at him because they were like saying that he's using um or exploiting the people who

cured of blindness for clicks and it's like my guess but i get it he made it so they could see again so i don't yeah i think on on balance that's probably a positive thing i think it's fucked up that that's like a thing that has to happen that uh mr beast has to cure your blindness the mcdonald's they work out that they're always going to be blind at is also exploiting them and not going to make it so they can see so i don't really see what the huge problem here is but i think the reason why i mean it's of course it makes sense in hindsight but like blindness is like to varying degrees and i think the vast majority of people who are blind are probably like,

just things are blurry to them. It's not like a blackout. And then you just like fix it. Well, I, I, I don't know. I,

Oh my God, what happened to my voice there? I, I don't know. I don't know if I, if I can speak on any, with any authority about that. Like,

I don't know. No, me either. I think that's must be what it is. I mean, maybe it authority about that. Like, I don't know. No, me either. I think that must be what it is. I mean, maybe it's like going from like, just like pure darkness to like really blurry. Because like, maybe that's it. I mean, I don't know.

Do you guys think Helen Keller was actually both blind and deaf? I broke into a house. That's one of the videos. I kill a family of seven. I do funny games. No trace. Yeah, I know.

Do you guys think Helen Keller was lying? People have been calling her a liar as well. They've been saying that she wasn't actually blind and deaf. Have you heard the noises that she made on that movie? There could have only ever been one, and that she was just being exploited by a handler who wanted to have her sell a bunch of books using her story have you seen the movies the helen keller movies yeah is there a helen keller movie we would watch it in school all

the time about her the miracle worker and it's about her the guy who taught her how to read and if you heard the way that is that is it a movie or is it a documentary i don't it's about the guy who taught her how to read and if you heard the way that is that is it a movie or is it a documentary i don't it's a movie it's a movie and and the girl was playing helen keller and she she says some stuff that's really powerful i mean like resonated with me oh this is a funny this video name surviving surviving 24 hours straightours Straight in the Bermuda Triangle, which is a place where millions of people live currently every single day because it's

part of the ocean between three islands. That's so funny. I would also watch that one too. Yeah, I love watching YouTube videos of my friends oh my god oh here we go here's a good one it's only 11 minutes and 45 oh no 11 hours

46 minutes we're reaching the let's let's see if jock can read a time stamp part of the episode saying pew pew die 1000 times. Okay, maybe you should both get off the screen and talk to me for the podcast. What the hell? I gave a homeless man a home. You should both put the computer down. I spent 24 hours

straight in an insane asylum. Surprising strangers with 100 zombies. I put 100 million Legos in a friend's house. Okay, okay, okay. I'm closing Mr. Beast. Please. No more Mr. Beast.

You cannot. You'll never let me talk about Mr. Beast. I'm becoming. What else do I have to say? That's a cool jacket, by the way. Oh, thank you so much. My ex gave it to me and he's never getting it back um I have nothing

else to say about the man I don't know him and I don't want to know him let's move on to the next subject as I suggested earlier no more talking about it Ben okay what else were we going to talk about today we had generals

well we already covered that we that talking about jocks cock and balls now yeah i just feel the crawling can you actually feel it i do feel things and i'm disturbed and i want to cover myself in the gel and i want to take double the ervamectin and i cover myself in gel for 24 hours i am covering myself in gel for 24 hours quadruple the dose of ivermectin every day for a month i eat the i take the jock challenge and eat a jock meal y'all i have to be cured of this before i get on the airplane when are you getting on an airplane oh tomorrow right curative crabs in a matter of hours by by ivermectin you definitely shouldn't get on a plane if you have crabs it's really heinous

that seems bad no no no i already asked my doctor and he said it was fine or she said it was fine oh not you misgendering your doctor well sounds like you completely made that up no i'm being dead serious. My doctor said I specifically asked. She's really pretty. She's really beautiful. My doctor said I could go. I was sobbing.

Even the person I'm staying with, I told them, and they were like, okay, that's cool. It's fine. She's still sharing a bed with me. Oh, my God. Don't share a bed with someone when you have crabs. No,'m have the gel once the treatment starts they're dead you can't transmit them okay all right i mean i'm

like a cloud of a cloud of dust following following you as you go through the airport all the crabs dying falling off your body look i Look, I'm gonna, if I have to inject myself with something, I'll do it. I'll go to the hospital at one in the morning to just get further treatment for this. For this crab. Yeah.

Damn, the first time it wasn't that bad, but this time it's terrible. Yeah. Maybe the leech was the thing that helped you last time. Two things sucking blood? Yeah, the leech was starving them. When I stepped on the leech, it popped so much blood. You stepped on it?

It fell off of my nut. It was on your ball? It was underneath my taint near my balls and it and i was taking a shower after coming home from a weekend of nude modeling in austin picture that in the green belt and i was in a dark shower modeling in a mud pit in a crick in austin nude and guess oh my god who could have thought that he got a leech on his gooch that he didn't know about for days

days no no it was literally two days that's so long three days I genuinely feel like I'm gonna puke that's so gross imagine frying that up after you take it off Ben frying that up and eating it for dinner

and then I was sitting on the it for dinner and then I was sitting on the living room chair and then I realized, I was sitting on it naked, and this is I offer people $100,000 to eat Jock's Gooch Leech you get a lot of diseases you get the leech disease

I offer homeless man food in parentheses, Jock's coach leech. What is wrong with me? This is the grossest episode ever. I've made myself look like a monster. We've literally talked about this before. I am Frankenstein. I'm Frankenstein.

You're what? We've also had an episode where- I'm Frankenstein. That's like Mosley eating noises that was such a good episode ben i miss you i miss you too we should um well i want to come back to new orleans i've got an air mattress now for bad i mean it's fine you also have seven literally like seven couches so it's kind of insane how many couches we have I have a really big house oh you need to do an apartment tour

on TikTok apartment tour on TikTok trying to give you ideas for content and you just don't respond to me I did respond to that I did see Julia Fox's apartment tour it made me like her so much more it really made me like her way more Fox's apartment tour. I didn't respond to that. Wait. I did see Julia Fox's apartment tour.

It made me like her so much more. I was like, oh. It really made me like her way more. I love her. Y'all didn't see her on Z-Way? Oh, I did see her on Z-Way. That was so funny. Yeah, she was here. I feel like she's cool.

Yeah. She's hot. She's kind of annoying. She's a woman I could love. I don't think she's... She was beautiful in Uncut Gems, but now she just looks too like. She tried to be like weird, cool.

Yeah. You know, she's like a classical beauty. And she was more. Just be a beautiful pog. Don't be freaky deaky with it. She was like very Gigi Hadid, but then she went Bella Hadid with it, you know? Why are you judging her? What did she do to you?

What did she do to me? I'm not judging her. No, I'm just, I'm just saying. Well, I you judging her what did she do to you what did she do to me judging no i'm just i'm just saying well i am judging her the new york post but i love her i had like jealous women was so funny julia fox lives in mice infested nyc apartment and says she hates wealth i mean it's just like it's a nice apartment and it's like got, you know, like it's like single mom mode apartment. Like it's just a cute, like lived in like beautiful little space. Yeah.

It was like the, her bed's in the living room. Her son's playroom is in her bedroom. And then there's another bedroom where her son has more of his own space. I think it's cute. It's cluttered. it did look messy i didn't see a mice or i didn't see any mouse um yeah better not be the most there people people did get mad at her though because they were like in the video she said that she was um she she stands for maximum transparency and people are like this is a rich woman who's cosplaying as being poor and she won't even tell us how much money she makes a year and i'm like honestly like shut the fuck up shut the fuck up she's not cosplaying as being poor she said the reason why

she wants to have a small apartment is because she doesn't want her child to grow up having uh like being crazy being being a psycho. Being disconnected from normal people. Smart. It makes sense. I think it's commendable. And also, like, I... Like, how much money could she possibly have?

Like, she was in Uncut Gems. She can't have that much money. She was in Uncut Gems, and that's it. She has a book deal, you know? She's probably got... Oh, the book deal. Well, book deals are a lot of money. No, she's probably got a lot of money from book deals. She could absolutely afford a better apartment, you know?'s probably the book deal well book deals are a lot of money no she's probably got a lot of money from book deals she could absolutely afford a better apartment you know

what about everything don't i also don't know where that apartment is i think she's in yorkville or upper west side um but yorkville even then is like that's where she's from it's a was a working-class neighborhood next to the upper west. Think about the wealth that just comes with having dated Kanye. You get so many designer clothes. Kanye just gives you $7 million. Okay, listen, hold up. Hold up, because remember what he did for Kim. He gave her seven or eight different racks of clothing,

got rid of all of her clothing, and handpicked all of her new outfits. That'sicked all of her that's a lot of money the fact that she's wealthy she's obviously a wealthy woman i just i it's not like i think people have this idea that anyone who they see on their screen who's famous that they just have like you know hundreds of millions of dollars and of course they're wealthy more wealthy than you know any would ever be but there is a difference between like and i don't mean like an ethical one but i just mean like a actual like experiential difference between being someone who has like hundreds of millions of dollars and someone who has like 10 you know yeah or not even 10 because i doubt like she even has that much like maybe like five million max would be my guess but which is really rich don't get me wrong i'm not saying

that's like yeah i mean i'm not defending it but i'm just saying there is like an absolute difference i mean it's not like she's not she's not really like me you you know, because I have like, what, like about 600 mil now? She denies a $30 million net worth. She says she does not have anywhere near that money. I believe that. Where would she get $30 million? A book deal would get you something. I don't know how much a book deal would be.

I don't know if that would touch $30 million. I think she has $500,000. Has she ever had a bigger role in Unut jumps if i remember no she's sold art right but can i tell you something that's going on right now just like new york like i i've met people who are probably wealthier than julia fox just from the families they're in yeah you know what jock what do you want to tell us my bed and my window and are shaking so violently right now from the construction going on outside of my window that my window just kind of like the the curtain flapped like it yeah that happened that happens there doesn't it happened to me when I was staying there.

The whole house would shake from construction. It's because Louisiana is built on a swamp and it's sinking. Or New Orleans, I should say. Sometimes my apartment shakes from my neighbor's. I think she has a washing machine or something, but sometimes the marching band that keeps practicing up and down my street. There is a Chinese funeral home like on the block and on sundays you can hear like the yeah the chinese like funeral dirges sometimes it's actually like there was there was a live italian band parading down my street earlier

today that's what i'm recording from a different room because i don't know if those fuckers are gonna come back What's better? Little Italy or Chinatown? They're both the same. I mean, it's all Chinatown. It's all Chinatown. Little Italy is like the... It's like the West Bank of Chinatown.

It's funny because there's a bank on this corner called West Bank. I think about that all the time when I walk past it. About the West Bank in New Orleans? No, you have no clue what we're talking about. No, there's a West Bank in New Orleans. That is a joke about the West Bank in New Orleans. That logic absolutely tracks. I don't know.

It's okay, Jack. I'm not expecting you to understand. But Chinatown is slowly, I would say take over, but they already own all the businesses. They already own all the businesses, but they're making some of them more Chinese. And I love that. It's like if Israel were the good guys.

Yeah, exactly. It's a totally inverted like Chinatown well don't worry about it you clearly don't understand anything about the West no I just can't understand the Israel being good guys ever that's what I'm trying to say we're saying that as well

we're agreeing with you Zionist what? I whispered Zionist. What is that? Why? Because we were talking about the Israelites. Okay. All right.

Well, Israelites are a different thing, and we're not even going to get into that. I'm not even going to try to explain what Israelites are to you, because that's like a totally separate thing. You felt the need to mutter Zionist as if that's like a totally separate thing to mutter zionist as if yeah that's it anyways there's a new there's a new like steam bun place and a dumpling place and a uh tea shop that are evicting these disgusting cannoli shops i'm so happy it's finally happening these disgusting what shops cannoli shops no I'm so happy it's finally happening. These disgusting what shops?

Cannoli shops. No, not the one I like. The one you like is probably fine, Jock. Probably Ferrara. Is that the one you're thinking of? Yes, that is actually closed. I'm not even kidding. No, Ferrara is not closed.

No, for renovation. I love Ferrara. I love that one. Ben didn't eat a single one, so i got to eat six but for our is amazing i'd love going there the place is sick yeah and that will never shut down it's really beautiful it's gorgeous inside that will never shut down that's an iconic place i'd love the giant ice cream cones they have it's hilarious also for our is my grandma's maiden name so i could go in and be like give me every give me a free one you should my grandmother

so many evil horrible italian americans who are like my grandpa like because well that last name that grandma with that last name is from brooklyn but her mom is from capri which is in naples as in this as in the Jock. She's from Capri Sun. Sicily. Capri just like the sun. I just put that together right now. Have you ever seen the videos of the guys who try to drink like five Capri Suns?

No. Five doesn't even seem that bad. That's the most insidious thing about this challenge. Is it like bananas? If you have 500, you die. But if you have five, you die. It's if you have five Capri Suns, because there's like five days worth of sugar in one Capri Sun.

Whoa. So by the second or third, it starts to be like your body starts to just reject it without even... You can't drink a two liter soda what about this what about next next episode we record i will buy you some capri sun and i want to see if you can drink more than five i feel like you can do it with no problem to be honest with you i'm down for a try i love giving things a killing jog i don't i don't i don't like that idea crabs are the aids don't kill me in too

much of a perilous physical state to test that yeah honestly i just want to be a stunt driver actually because if i do that i'll go to they'll send me to jelfa murder i should be a firefighter like uh you should i don't think so i don't think you should no i agree i think you should be a firefighter i don't think you should be a firefighter i think that would be signing up right now and texting my boy Firefighty Firefighty An anthropomorphic firefight

My friend What does the women The fires The glamour Those are the three things you need baby Hot hot hot hot hot hot You lose weight when you're around that much heat all the time.

It burns off the fat. That's true. And then you get to eat a lot of firehouse chili, firehouse beans. Seems like you're thinking of everything besides the risk to your life. I said the flames. What do you want for me?

Firehouse chili and firehouse beans imagine like the fighter everyone's like jock leaving the firefighter bathroom like y'all i'm so sorry it happened again but i've got bad news i've got the crabbby's again. You should. You know, you could become a firefighter, maybe a cop. Well, actually, you probably couldn't become a firefighter because of your felonies. No, you can be a firefighter. I feel like if you have felonies. Are you stupid?

Do you know what it means to miss New Orleans? No, you wouldn't because you're pale. Can we say that again? Well, firefighter, especially a volunteer firefighter that's like yeah well i guess like they use inmates to firefight a lot that's so crazy it's something that does happen but i feel like once you're out of jail and can't do it for free anymore they're like no thank you i well my younger brother it was was when he was 17. Killed in a fire? He trained.

No, he trained to be a volunteer firefighter. Jock, what if Hess's brother had died in a firefight? Well, I think you would have heard it. I think Jock would have heard about it. No, no, no, no. Honestly, it would have made more sense. I never heard one little thing about this damn brother of hers. I thought she was the only child this whole time.

I have three siblings. That's not true child this whole time. I have three siblings. That's not true. She does have three siblings. I've met all of them. We had an amazing night out. We had so much fun. Bowling? Laughing? Bowling? Do you want to guess my siblings' names, Jacques? Oh my god, this is so

easy. So you're Tesla and then there's Pelican. That's one for one. You got one right. Biodome. Biodome. Yep. That's the second. That's my sister. Green tea. Well you

almost got it. It's actually. You're reading things in the room again aren't you? No I'm not. No shut up. I put this together. Do you have a DVD of Biodome in your room? Yes, and Pelican. A VHS. As in the Pelican's game. I already know what's in front of me.

He's got a Pelican jersey. He's got a biodome on VHS or something. What do you mean a biodome on VHS, Jock? Why wouldn't I? It's one of my favorite movies. And then he has ginseng green tea supplements as well. Jock, was I right? No, the green tea was a whole mound.

No, there was a bottle of green tea. I lied. You just lied. Can I come up with one last name and be creative this time? Have eaten steak.

Can I please come up with another name? Please, I want to come up with a fourth name. You can come up with another name. Please. Burnzomatic. What's that? Burnzomatic? Burnzomatic?

What is that? That's the name of my blowtorch. Burnzomatic? That's the official brand name. Did you buy a blowtorch from a guy In a trench coat on the street Who was like hey come here You want a blowtorch

And he opens his coat and there's like a bunch of blowtorches I literally buy I buy the blowtorch from a hardware store And every time You live to absolute gluttony It's amazing I look at how big my body looks I look really short and really fatter

than normal someone screenshot this I look like a Willy Wonka no I literally look like one of them Willy Wonkers the little short ones are you a little person no I meant the character from the Willy Wonky you look like this secret

I had this secret Ken doll I stole from my friend's sister when I was a kid And it was wearing a jacket I stole it My parents didn't know I had it And I hid it in the basement What would have happened if they found it They would be so mad If you had a Ken doll

They would have been like oh my god Your parents are hilarious well they're better now they're so funny did you play with barbies as a kid Jock? a hallmark of gay life duh duh duh duh but I had a lot of G.I. Joes and I had women G.I. Joes

and I had like I had a lot of like I had like a lot of slutty G.I. Joe spy girls that wore all leather. Did you see? I saw a tweet from 2020 that I'd never seen yesterday that blew my mind. It was by Hugh Grant, the actor. Okay.

And it was a picture of... If my kid plays with Barbies, I'm selling him. No, it was like, I've been spending pandemic with my two small daughters so i did this cut one of their hair and um it's a picture of like two naked barbies kissing and one has short hair it's like what the fuck wait you are a psycho posting that on twitter just like i made my daughter's barbie's kiss i gave one i was i was a really queenie kid believe it or not my mom used to take me to target and she loves telling me this because she loves the idea of

having a gay son who's always been gay you know know? She's very much like, I always knew you were gay. And what she means by that is I made you gay. You know? Like, I'm the reason you're gay. But she was like, yeah, when we'd go to Target, you'd always demand to go down the pink aisle. Because that's where all the girls' toys were. And I loved girl toys who doesn't yeah

i was really gay but i slayed remember one of my first memories was going to the grocery store with my grandma and she did the thing where she's like you can have one thing and i put i bought a bunch of press hello kitty nails shitty nails they were betty boop nails actually which oh my god not you seeing yourself reflected back at you we call that foreshadowing and i saw the woman i would one day become and so i was like okay it's so funny how much you look like Betty Boop. It's like the funniest thing in the world to me. I look like her meth head brother.

It's actually worse. Billy Boop. I look like the black sheep of the Boop family. The Boops? The Boop dynasty. The Boops don't talk about him. I'm the Rosemaryedy of the boob dynasty because i love doing meth and robbing gas stations love doing blanchard blanchard boop the the patriarch is like

has like sees the fisting tattoo you have and like takes a big swig of bourbon by the fire daddy boop please daddy um but i put these nails on in the car and they were just like press-on nails and then i remember we pulled into the garage and she saw that i had them on and she was like oh fuck and then she ripped them off all my she ripped all of them off my hands and took them in the trash for me before we went inside that's so cool teach you right you don't want to grow up to be a a fake bi woman therapist would love that story

would be so sorry for you I would have gotten I could get so much pussy with that story isn't it time for you to strip Ben what do you mean I thought you had work today.

Oh, oh, like you know something about jobs and working? Shut the fuck up. You just itched your balls. I saw you do that. I can't eat your handouts. Try not being a whole body shot on camera. You can just sit up like an adult. Oh my God, please.

Thank you. On that note, Jock has really got to get off the phone to scratch his balls. You can just sit up like an adult. Oh my God, please. Thank you. On that note, Jock has really got to get off the phone to scratch his balls. So thank you everyone for listening this week. Wait, oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.

Huge, huge update. Oh, Wendy Williams died. Yeah, I saw. Mary Cosby is returning to the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. This is such old news. Y'all are such losers for not knowing this. Me and Jillian were talking about it weeks ago, months ago. Oh my God, you were?

Did you happen to record one of the podcasts? We recorded two episodes in the last two days. So y'all get ready for... I have yours to put out. I just put one of them out today. Me and Jillian are broken in one episode and then the other episode we are fired up in the middle of the night I made her record at

midnight I threw a bucket of cold water in her bed on her birthday it was her birthday and I forced her the way Jacques describes trying to get Jilly to record is like I feel so bad for her

I feel so bad She's a queen We love Jilly Jacques is actively scratching his balls And we've got to go to give him time Man stop being a bitch about it I'm trying And we will be back

Very soon with another episode. Bye, everyone. I'm not sure if I can do it. Thank you. I want to stare at you Please, I'm so confused I'm dilly dilly, so can you? I chase after the back of a dream that's not like anyone else I chase after it Like a burning feeling that calls out the dawn I don't know what's left now Thank you..