Segments - 09: Mystery Guest Part 2

Episode Date: January 1, 2024

In this episode we discuss memory palaces, mystery guests, and who is 55?Advertise on Segments via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. Hey, I'm Jake Johnson, host of the podcast, We're Here to Help. But this episode right now that you are listening to is sponsored by Brooklinen. Brooklinen provides luxury bed sheets, pillows, comforters, and blankets delivered straight to your door. How do I know this? Because Brooklinen delivered me a quilt, sheets, pillowcases, and I love them. Plus, Brooklinen has been tested and awarded by experts, including Good Housekeeping, GQ, Wirecutter, and the hosts of We're Here to Help. So listeners can save a ton by purchasing a hardcore bundle, which includes a core sheet

set, which is the thing I got, extra pillowcases, and a duvet cover. You can also mix and match. They do this stripe thing that's cool, but that's a dealer's choice. So are you ready to build your dream fall bed? Visit in-store or online at brooklinen.com. That's brooklinen.com. B-R-O-O-K-L-I-N-E-N.com. Get 15% off your first Brooklinen order and save extra when you bundle. Hello, if you're listening to this podcast before September 27th, 2024, we're doing a live show in Philadelphia. You can still buy tickets at headgum.com slash live. Hope to see you there. Nice. Try one more where it's clear that I'm like the star. There's a reason I didn't have you say anything. Yeah. Because you're nervous, you're skittish, you're stuttering right now. I'm a little frightened. So I don't want you in this ad

at all. I don't want to be steamrolled, but I want the live live. So no, I won't be recording one. In fact, for you asking that, I'm going to keep this part in. Don't. This part is now. Edit this part out, but let's do one clean ad. No. You will edit this part out. You will absolutely edit this part out. Tell you what, I'm going to say my fucking social security number, so you have to edit it out, okay?

Let's hear it. 0913662. Now you have to edit it out. Keeping it in, but we'll see you guys there. No, no, no, no, no. Yes, no. Jake and Amir, two Jews that you can't forget. In 2010, they were big on the

internet. But then three failed pilots, two rejected movie scripts. One last-ditch effort to try and stop their career from going to shit. Segment.

Another podcast. Segment. Each app different from the last. Segment. It's the Swiss Army Nightclub Show. Now let's meet your two pathetic hosts. Segment. Yes, this is Segment. Pathetic hosts. Segments. Yes.

This is Segments, the only podcast that reinvents itself every 8 to 12 minutes. Ever changing, ever evolving, always adapting. That's Segments for you. I have another surprise segment for you that i didn't tell you about really yeah wow should we do it first we have to because it is another mystery guest god damn it god damn i've invited the second mystery the first mystery guest was your wife you didn't get it yeah so close your eyes i'm inviting a new mystery guest into the chat. I don't know if this person is as adept as Jill.

So close your eyes as I invite them into the Zoom. And again, the name of the segment is Mystery Guest. This is Mystery Guest Part 2. I'm inviting somebody that we both know. That's the only stipulation. We both know this human. Got it. We don't know if it's a cousin of yours that I met once,

somebody we worked with in an obscure setting, somebody like your wife. Wow, it's my cousin Johnny. Yeah. Okay. And you have 20 yes or no questions to try to figure out the identity of this mystery guest. Incredible.

Can I open my eyes yet? They've been admitted into the room. Great job again. All right. Okay. This is good. MG has entered the chat. Okay.

Again, camera off, audio off. You're going to ask them them questions this person has to respond yes or no and are they going to be using the chat or voice they will be using the chat i believe can mystery guest can you confirm confirm yes okay why chat interesting unless they're asking why why should i answer that question all right that one didn't count you're at zero okay uh hello mystery guest uh i love it already again last time last time the mystery guest was my wife will you try to embarrass me by making it somebody I know very well? Or is it Jill again?

Yeah, that is the question. Let's do this. Mystery guest, do you love me? Oh, that's a really good question. Wow. A lowercase y. That's nice. That's good.

Subjective 20 questions. Yeah. Is the love that you feel for me pure or is it like a friendship love? All right. Good stuff. Good stuff. Mystery guest, have I seen you personally, physically, in person in the last month? Another great question. You're already playing better than you did last round i have to it was embarrassing last time jill and i had to get a trial separation what yes okay wow physically i have to ask are you are you my wife mr yes are you my wife that's a really good question no it's not but that was in play and i did consider it and

i knew that you'd think about it so i ultimately had to veto yeah okay uh mr guest do you live in new york city yes yes four questions down somebody you love you've seen not jill but lives in new york this is great I barely see anybody. Mystery guest, are we related? Good question. Wow, you're zeroing in. This is much faster. Yes.

Oh, yes. Okay. Has to be Micah. It has to be Micah. Mystery guest, are you Micah? No. No. Not Micah. are you micah no no not micah you don't you wouldn't have been able to it's not okay we're

related is it my sister liza liza do we hear liza yes or no no okay we are related and you live in new york city seven questions deep sisters what are you talking about what are you talking about We are related, and you live in New York City, and you're not my brother or sister. What are you talking about? What are you talking about? Are you a cousin of mine, Mr. Guest? That's a good question. Do your cousins love you? No.

Okay. Eight questions deep now. You got 12 left. Are we related by law? Common or otherwise? I have to ask to clarify. What does that mean? Like my sister-in-law. Oh, I see.

Like through marriage. Or is it blood? Yeah. Are you basically on Jill's side of the family? No. Not related through law you are related to me and you live in new york city and i've seen you now we're getting to that point where i get embarrassed because i should know a member of my own family that lives in new york city yes and and i think i don't is that legally

uh okay are you are you a member of my immediate family that's a really good question and this is your 10th question yes yes you don't live in mystery guest you do not live in new york city you said you're not micah and you're not eliza and okay i mean and you're not and you're not my wife is it is it my daughter is it mystery guest are see jemma wow mystery jemma to get me yes kiddo you tried to get me you absolutely she's answering she's absolutely me were you typing hey hey i'm your uncle hey little buckaroo she's concerned confused she's not wrecking oh she's slapping in excitement all right we have a few of us here you guys did great good answer hey hello welcome everybody you guys did great it's funny that it didn hello. Welcome, everybody. You guys did great. It's funny that it didn't dawn on you right away that you're related to Gemma, though.

Yeah. Yeah. No, that. Leading through the entire conversation. But you did get there eventually. Well, I didn't think you would stoop so low as to have an infant try to play this game. A pawn in this game. A pawn in my game.

Yes. Gemma, you almost got me, you beauty. Yes, Gemma. Jill sent me a very funny photo of Gemma looking very coy and sneaky in front of the computer five minutes ago. You have to send it to me next. She looked very cheeky. Yes. Jill and I text a lot.

So this was just a natural question. I actually don't love that. Next time. Yes, there's the smile. That's what I was waiting for. Next time you try to play mystery guest, I guess I'm just guessing Jill and Gemma right off the bat. What is she eating? Jillian, what is she eating?

Help. She's supposed to be vegan. We were in the waiting room for a little while she had to have a snack she was famished she was famished you know how you know how rude it is to eat on a zoom nobody nobody likes when you do that she did just throw the pear on the floor as you said that all right she's a lady on the go good job everybody especially jemma you almost got me and jill bye for now love you guys oh my good god there is no length i wouldn't go to to have Gemma on the show. I know what gets the clicks.

Your daughter will be the screen cap. Your daughter will be the thumbnail. Her thumbs will be the thumbnail. All right, great job, Jake. Thank you. Yeah, that one felt better. All right, we can relax a little bit few mystery guests over i didn't totally embarrass myself that was solid i would have thought me and jemma were related by law but yeah i guess she's from my loins yeah blood for sure blood for sure okay my turn to embarrass you how about that yeah oh this one is dick picker nah yes

where i see if i can i could find my dick in a lineup this is actually a dick measuring contest so i'm gonna go need you to get a ruler a yardstick or some measuring tape or a piece of twine that we'll mail in. Or a cork of wine. We should finally stoop so low that we just measure each other's dicks as a segment. Did this ever come up in a Jake and me video where it's like measuring dicks by jousting and whoever's dick touches the other person's body first has the longer dick yeah didn't i think jeff and dave used to do that when they were kids swashbuckling as a dick measuring contest it would have been a really good ch all-nighter sketch i think yeah we'll save it for later uh okay this is this is a memory game. Okay. It's pretty simple.

I found it online at a place called Englishroom.com. But basically, yeah, I'm going to read a short paragraph, a series of sentences to you. Yeah. And all that's going to happen is when I'm done, you're going to try to repeat back to me what I said. Verbatim. Verbatim. And you can type it in the chat. I'll put it in.

We'll get your score. I have to type in this entire paragraph from memory. Okay. How is your memory in general? Is it better or worse than mine, do you think? My short-term memory, and I think it might be similar for you is actually very good like i think from reading scripts from improv i was able to basically remember these sentences but my my long-term memory is terrible a tomorrow i won't remember that we played this game got it

that's more medium long term is like would you remember who your fifth grade teacher's name was or something i guess i remember things that happened to me a long time ago but i also like i couldn't tell you you know what i did last summer or something yeah um did you watch i know what you did last summer yeah that's that's with uh sarah michelle geller is that i think it's with jennifer love hewitt see oh jennifer love yeah and it's not nev campbell because she's scream right i want to say i think sarah michelle geller and freddie no it's freddie prince it's all these it's all this brat pack kids type thing yeah it's melvin prince it's ryan felipe yes it's reese witherspoon yeah oh it might be reese witherspoon it's sarah michelle yeller old sarah michelle yeller who's that other

guy that says i'll be right back he plays shaggy oh uh matthew lillard matthew lillard yes matthew lillard my personality is matthew meets damian lillard you Yes, Matthew Lillard. My personality is Matthew meets Damian Lillard. You wish. You absolutely wish. All right. I'm going to repeat this to you up to three times. Okay. Three times.

Thank you. I'm going to close my story number one. I'm not influenced by anything else. Yeah. My name is Scott. I'm seven years old. This is my bag. I have two pens, three pencils, and one ruler.

I'm sitting on my chair in my classroom. There is a book on my desk. There is a wastebasket on the floor. Okay, that's it. Okay. I'll read it again. Don't need to. Really?

Yeah. Okay. Type it back and we'll plug it in and see what you got my name is scott i'm seven years old i am sitting at my desk i have a bag inside are two pens three pencils there's a ruler on my desk need i say more okay so that's what you're that's what you're inputting that's right i'll go i'll go into Okay, you are missing 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15 words. Okay, well, that's because you only read it once. You're supposed to read it three times.

Dingo. He just coughed. He's giving me a hint. He's trying to um actually you may have gotten a few more right because uh your your typos in this chat yeah i mean do you want me to it's verbatim it's not just the details yeah it's verbatim okay all right let's hear it again that's what makes it a memory game no well i'll give you the next story i'll give you you the next story. We're done with this one. Okay. How did I do? You failed the first one.

Okay. You missed nine words. Okay. That's not that many. Okay. All right. Fine. Yeah.

Maybe this one I'll actually hear more than once, which by the way, I was really fucked up of you to just admit. You chose that. You tried to show off. You tried to show off and you didn't do too bad, but you forgot that he was sitting near a wastebasket, didn't you? Asshole. Did not remember that part. I had to show up and he didn't do too bad, but you forgot that he was sitting near a waste basket, didn't you, asshole? Did not remember that part. I'm trying to build a picture in my mind and you

keep blathering on about shit. There's a waste basket on the floor. You didn't say shit about the waste basket. Today, I am learning English. Our teacher tells us to stand up and make a circle. She says, put your ruler on your head. Then she says, put your eraser on your nose. Now point to the map on the wall. your ruler on your head. Then she says, put your eraser on your nose.

Now point to the map on the wall. Sit down on your chair. Take out your pen and book. I'll read that again if you like. Don't need to. Yeah. All right, good. Go ahead.

Now this one I'll hear again because there was slightly more details. Today I am learning English. Yeah. Don't repeat it back to me. Don't interrupt. Our teacher tells us to stand up and make a circle. Yeah. She says, put your ruler on your head.

We're seeing if active listening works. Yeah. Then she says, put your eraser on your nose. Now point to the map on the wall. Sit down on your chair. Take out your pen and book. Okay. Do you want to hear it one more time or do you want to go for it? Of course I want to

hear it again because you're fucking nitpicking every freaking word. I know the gist. I am learning English. Okay. Our teacher tells us to stand up and make a circle. She says put your ruler on your head. Then says, put your ruler on your head. Then she says, put your eraser on your nose.

Now point to the map on the wall. Sit down on your chair. Take out your pen and book. Okay, today I am learning English. Easy. Yes? My teacher tells us to stand up and get in a circle. Just put your ruler on your head.

Then she says, put your ruler on your head. Put your eraser on your nose. Point to the map. Then sit in your chair and take out your pen and book which very very sort of nailed good yeah you did sort of nail it i got the gist that i'm an improviser slash comedian so i can't stick to the script verbatim but i'll hit all the beats it's fine for an audition that was not fully correct but it was it was good it was the general gist to be sure the general it was the general gist of the general yes okay what about a shirt that's a general gist oh that's good that would be a good companion to

general cleanliness oh yeah i guess we did have a shirt that said that. Okay. I didn't realize that. Okay. Today, I am learning art. I take out my book. My teacher says, draw a picture of an orange sun. Next, draw a blue house and a black tree. I put away my book.

I am hungry, so I eat a green apple and a red ant no you added that last part i did not i did absolutely not and it's erased the rest of the i also it sounds like a poem right yeah that's a poem did you write that one can i guess that you wrote it haun sits in a red circle haun sits and eats a red ant. This one's annoying because everything is a fucking weird color. Okay, let's hear it again. Today I am learning art.

I take out my book. My teacher says, draw a picture of an orange sun. Next, draw a blue house and a black tree. I put away my book i am hungry so i eat a green apple and a red ant okay i got it yeah today i am learning art my teacher tells me what do you do before your teacher says anything today i am learning art i'm really focused on the fucking colors of the nouns my teacher tells me to sit down no you take out your book that's what i said tells me to take out my book you said today i'm learning art yeah then he said my teacher. Oh, I just take out my book apropos of nothing.

You say today I'm learning art. I take out my book. My teacher tells me to draw an orange sun, a blue house, and a black tree. Yes. I close my book. Put away my book i am hungry i eat a green apple and yeah with a side of a red ant can i have a side of a red ant do you guys have red ants let's just let's just eat the one ant i mean i already had an apple a green apple as it were how about this close your eyes and see if you can remember the first

story you told me i typed it out because now that it's been three stories that first one is long gone for me but you i don I don't know, read it. Maybe it's in your memory a little more than mine. I literally couldn't even tell you what it's about. Yeah. It was a short-term memory. Yeah. He's like, oh, my name is Scott.

Nice. Today I am in class. Now, how old is he? Oh, my name is Scott. I'm 68 years old. Close, seven. Yes, I'm seven years old. Okay.

I am in the classroom. He's sitting at his desk and he has a bag. But what's inside? I have my bag. Inside, I have a notebook and a pen. Nope, two pens. And how many pencils? a notebook and a pen nope two pens and how many two pens and one oh i have a ruler i have two pens a ruler and one no three pencils two pens and one ruler that's correct there is a waste basket there is a waste basket on the floor that's the part i forgot for breakfast i had a red ant i'm famished i'm start scavenging for ants

i can't find i can't find not one ant to satiate my ant appetite did i ever tell you slash uh did we ever discuss that book that i read called moonwalking with Einstein? I don't read a lot of books, but it's about this guy, Jonathan Safran Foer's brother, talking about memory. I really remember this book very well. It's a guy who covered the U.S. memory competition or maybe international memory competition. And he got so into it that he's like, I think I can learn how to do this. My memory is not great, but there's enough tips and tricks and then like within a few years won it wow yeah this is like all the i think you did tell me about this this is like the memory palace stuff right exactly you can memorize a deck of cards in like under a minute or two by like assigning each one an action

an object and like a person so like a three of clubs and a four of hearts and a ten of diamonds is actually like you're in your house and michael jackson is uh dribbling a cake and like that's a lot easier to remember than the three cards and then the next three cards are like i go to my bedroom and what do i see al Albert Einstein butt fucking a frog. And that means three more cards. Nice. So there are ways for me to improve my deck. I don't even need to do the deck. I'll just think about that, that Einstein bestiality.

The two takeaways that I still use slash have are, one, when you meet somebody, they tell you their name, but it's in one ear out the other if they're just like Greg. So what you can do is when they say, hey, my name is Greg. You imagine Greg Maddox either fucking or killing that person. And that creates like a hook in your brain. That's like, oh, when I see this guy, I imagine Greg Maddox slitting his throat. And I'll never forget Greg from that.

That's cool. The second thing is they showed a a class of like kids like 50 images in a row and then kind of like this like one two three four five all the way to 50 and they're like all right how many of them can you remember and they're like uh you showed it to me too fast i don't know two three four five maybe ten and then they're like all right here's 50 more pictures some of them you've seen in the 50 that we showed you and some of them are brand new and they could pretty much get a hundred percent uh recall of if it was new or old so just because you can't like recall it from scratch doesn't mean that you don't remember it is still somewhere in your brain at like nearly a hundred

percent retention so it's just about access yeah like if i said name your like tomorrow i'm like name that story you're like i have no fucking clue i'm like okay here's the story that it was and here's the story that it wasn't you're like oh it's definitely the one about scott it's not like the one about a caterpillar or something yeah yeah so the memory is there you just have to access it in weird, different, unique ways. That's cool. We should make a biohacking segment. Oh, interesting.

Huberman style. Yeah, basically like a Limitless-esque type podcast baked in here. Yeah. I kind of wanted to do a fake Huberman style podcast. Maybe I can do a segment like that. Right. See if I can. Foberman. Yeah.

A Bloomerman lab. Bloomerman gab. It's about making, I don't know, your ears bigger or some shit. It's perfect. Thank you to DraftKings for sponsoring this episode of our show. Hey-o! DraftKings. The NFL is back. That's correct.

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There it is. Thanks, DraftKings. Quick note to let y'all know that we're conducting an audience survey at gum.fm slash segments. And we want to hear from you guys to keep making content you love. Exactly. It's a survey that lets us know what you think about the ad experience. But in order to do that, we need to know a little bit more about you, our audience. The survey is quick, easy, and free to support segments. It'll take two minutes and you'll be helping us a lot by taking

it. It's at gum.fm slash segments to fill out the audience survey. That's right. So if you've been talking about the ads somewhere else online, now is your chance to make your voice heard, folks. Take this survey and we will read the results. It's G-U-M dot F-M slash S-E-G-M-E-N-T-S. Cool. Sorry, I have to spell it out for some people. Yeah, you do. Thank you to Squarespace for sponsoring this episode of our show.

Hell yeah. Jake, you've been building on Squarespace for decades at this point. Exactly. Eons, it feels like. Yes. So you know how easy it is to use their simple, intuitive, drag and drop design technology? Yes, yes, yes. Easy to create, easy to sell, easy to promote.

Squarespace is my all-in-one first stop, one-stop shop. Yeah. It's kind of funny that they have also award-winning customer support because it's so intuitive that even Jake was able to figure it out. But if you have any questions, they can figure it out for you as well. Exactly. And I did need a lot of help. I needed a lot of help. It's easy for everybody, but I still like to have my hand held. They even have AI at this point. You can update written content, product description, or email with Squarespace AI. You can even buy a domain name through Squarespace. Exactly. Like, you know that movie Freaky Friday?

Yeah. How'd you like to own FreakyFriday.com? That'd be great. Is that available? It's not available. Yeah. But how'd you like to own Freaky Tuesday? Interesting. Freaky Tuesdayuesday so that's when like you run into each other and some parts of your personality change but ultimately it's not a full

body swap right mostly you're just concussed yeah which is new it's kind of like having a new personality yeah it's funny i consider myself a vision lifter which is why I recommend somebody buying visionlifters.com. Oh, visionlifters? Yeah, visionlifters with a Z. And not where you think. And it's not biz with a Z. So if you're looking to buy a domain name for yourself or for a loved one, build a store, an online portfolio, the greatest way to do that is to head to squarespace.com for a free trial.

And when you're ready to launch, just use that coupon code SEGMENTS to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Hell yeah. So again, you go to Squarespace.com slash SEGMENTS. SEGMENTS. You save 10% off your first purchase

and then use the coupon code SEGMENTS when you're ready to launch that free trial. Enjoy. Thank you, Squarespace. With Audible, there's more to imagine when you listen. Whether you listen to stories, motivation, expert advice, any genre you love, you can be inspired to imagine new worlds, new possibilities, new ways of thinking. And Audible makes it easy to be inspired and entertained as a part of your everyday routine without needing to set aside extra time. As an Audible member, you choose one title a month to keep from their ever-growing catalog.

Explore themes of friendship, loss, and hope with remarkably bright creatures by Shelby Van Pelt. Find what piques your imagination. Sign up for a free 30-day Audible trial and your first audiobook is free. Visit audible.ca to sign up. All right, we're back. I think we should play a game we've played before, but is easily repeatable

and easily bettable, so we can win or lose some cash again. Great. Love it. It's been a long time since I've lost cash on this show. The origin of the game is kind of murky. Origin of this game is kind of murky. You should play Mystery Guest for cash. Origin of this game is kind of murky, but I believe I invented it, so I'm going to run with it. Okay.

And it's the Who's 58 Years Old game. Oh, nice. I would give you credit for that. I have a not-so-vague recollection of me coming up with it at College Humor, and then we turned it into a game show, and we've played it a bunch, including during some live shows. Yes. I accidentally searched Who's 58, and I saw a bunch of celebrities, so we're going to have to choose a different age. Let's say

something in between 40 and 60, and we'll alternate. First one to get it wins $50. Venmo from the other one. Okay. Let's say 55. Interesting. Okay okay do you want to start or should i um i'll start because i think paul rudd is 55. how old is paul rudd he's 54. all right if we're playing this game in april you would have won yeah what's the what's the what's the ante how

about how about it costs you five dollars every time you guess i was gonna say fifty dollars to the person who gets it right first but you want to say is if we keep getting it wrong the pot builds that's pretty good yeah so right now we're at five bucks. Right. So I don't want to get it right yet. That's only five bucks. So I'll say someone I'm not really sure is 55. Jason Statham. Oh. How cool is that?

I think he's 49. Really? I do think that. Oh my God, he's 56. We are circling the wagon. There is some sort of weird phenomenon that like whatever number you guess you'll get like 54 56 like two or three times before nailing it yeah i don't know why

that is keanu reeves is older than that is that your guess no is that your official by the way we're up to a 10 pot here let's go ahead and say yeah it is lock it in freaking reeves how old did you think he was when you said he's not 55 he's actually i thought he was like gonna i thought he was almost uh 60 like he's 59 yeah he's 59 really all right yeah all right nice guess though that was really good you got the age he was now the pot's at 20. I wanted it to build. I wanted it to build. Go ahead. Make your guess.

Good, I will. Because it's Jennifer Aniston. I bet you'll... I really bet Jennifer Aniston. I was going to say I didn't think you were going to guess a woman because you were a sexist. But Jennifer Aniston. I actually was. Yeah.

Jennifer Aniston turns 55 in two months. She's 54.9 right now. Damn you know who's gonna be helping her celebrate one lisa freaking kudrow she's gonna say hey jen congrats you're 55 now like me wow lisa kudrow is 60. fuck so that's your third guess i have two so this is 25 in the pot right now right kudro is 60 holy smokes uh all right uh i'm thinking about late 90s celebs that you know were in their 30s 25 years ago and it just feels right slash automatic and like i don't know in a way that i'm like yeah for whatever reason this is awesome to think that david spade is 55 and you're way off you're way off he's also 59 way off that's a 30 pot right now way too old way too old kudrow is 60 kudrow is 60

that's currently the worst that was a strategic guess because because aniston was so close so i went to a different friend right okay it was it was strategy there was strategy there i thought that was a freebie a freebie buffet okay let's go ahead and say steve freaking corral yeah steve corral why not i'll tell you why not because we have a new winner for worst pick he's 61 yeah all right yeah let's that's seven incorrect guesses the pot is now 35 as the tension mounts and it mounts actually because you're not guessing the perfect guess go ahead what is it i know what it is do you know what it is i have a good guess for the next one yeah really i have a really good one i have an amazing one actually let's hear it michelle obama that is really good that is good guess that's a good guess she is our third 59 so we keep being four years off it's not a

$40 pot joe fucking biden bitch he's 99 how about if we hit you with your with a taste of your own medicine, basketballing's own Michael Jordan. Yeah, I think he's like 60 or something. Really? Yeah. I think he's 55. Yeah, he's 60. Is he?

Yeah. Is he really? Yeah. Wow. It's almost Michelle Obama's age. Of course. Although, if we're in the fucking zone of sports, how about we hit a dinger and we touch them all with Baseball Zone Big Mac? Steroid-loving, base-running, big boy from Oakland, Bash brother Mark McGuire.

Who says no? Mark McGuire himself.cguire down to the wire he's 60 he is yeah we have to get off that's 10 wrong yeah we're going way too old try to miss you drew us young aniston was 54 and that's the youngest we've gone and i don't think she was the youngest friend i think the youngest friend was ross or maybe it was matthew perry rip um this would be for 50 right here i'm i don't know man i'm drawing a look i'm drawing a blank a matt matthew leblanc yes yes yes i really am, Tron. Matthew LeBlanc with the McGuire home run. LeBlanc turned 56 in July. Wow. Okay.

We're off TV. We're off sports. There's another, I even guessed a politician. That didn't work out for me. But there's a sweet spot here. And it's called films. Oh, films. Okay, films.

Star of movie and screen. Imagine a guy who's so cool and new, but also kind of old. I think this guess will be, all right, all right mcconaughey oh mcconaughey works too i was gonna say fucking young sheldon show me young sheldon bazinga right off the bat does matthew mcconaughey feel right to you are you afraid of that guess i've been afraid of all of the guesses he it doesn't feel right to me. I'm thinking 53. Okay. And by the way, this will be very poetic because this is for $55.

This is our 12th guess. All right, now I'm actually afraid. Yeah, now I think it is probably right. Matthew McConaughey. By the way, if I just think it's right, then I'm also kind of right. Like, oh, that's a really good guess. Like, that means that I'm pretty smart too if it hits. McConaughey is 54.

We're up to a $60 pot. How about his best buddy, Woody Harrelson? I would think he's older. Yeah, maybe one year older. Yeah, maybe eight years older. He's 62. You're absolutely the new leader for worst guess. We're up to $60.

We're over 12. Here comes guest lucky number 13. I've been circling the wagons. I have a really good one, by the way. I have a really good one. If you want to skip, can go i'm about to skip i'll skip but then if you get the next one wrong i win the boat no we're basically throwing half quarters up okay i can get to i can get to 55 we got matthew

mcconaughey in the zone what a singer? A singer is a good idea. Yeah, or a songstress. Ricky Martin? Is Ricky Martin 55? That's a really good guess. He's 51, our youngest guess. I was bluffing your ass. I thought that was a a terrible guess i'm surprised he's in his 50s i would have guessed 45 he looks great he looks great but that's part of the game you have to say that's a good guess when it's a bad guess we're up to 60 which is someone to lock

five or so mike myers i believe he's older but i'll take a look no no no wait then i have different mike myers how old is mike myers 65 he's 60 yeah he's 60 uh uh uh uh uh uh hey my guess is macklemore for 70 dollars what shit he's 29 no all right this is i think we're 70 i'm honestly losing fucking track here this is crazy i guess i have every even guess so somewhere in the mix we lost it it was was like $510. So I think this is $70. This is for $70. Yeah. Sounds right. Who's a fucking 55-year-old? Bad as hell. Yeah.

All you need to do is think of a 55-year-old. Yeah. Who's 50 fucking 5? And why? What? Oh, I got a pretty interesting one. Yeah, let's hear it. feels right it actually feels really right okay snoop doggy dog i was gonna get dr dre next okay yeah let's see he's 52 then i won't guess dr. I feel like we've gotten every 50 except for 55.

I actually do think it could be Dr. Dre, but I'm just going to go ahead and do Adam Sandler because we're around this SNL thing, and he's a little bit younger. Yeah, yeah. That's a really good guess, actually. Yeah. Let's go ahead and say the Sandman.

75. 75. He's 57. I'm still alive. Fuck. Damn it. Okay. Okay.

Okay. You guessed. Remind me of your 14 guesses so far just so i'm in the memory games yeah okay how about this i sandman's love interest in a few films drew barrymore that's good guess that's a good guess she's probably a little younger than younger i think she's gonna be younger she's 48 good on her wow yeah very young that's probably a little younger than him. I think she's going to be younger. She's 48. Good on her. Wow. Very young.

That's actually a terrible guess. That's a Woody Harrelson-esque seven years off guess. It's almost the worst guess. That's insane. Almost. Let's go ahead and say Dr. Dre. I think this is for $80. Dr. Dre's dead. He's locked

in my basement. Marshall Mathers style. He's 58. God damn it. God fucking damn it. I think this is for $85. I honestly, this is getting out of hand. We really have to fucking get this at this point.

It's 55. it's not that hard it's matthew mcconaughey-esque it's jennifer aniston-esque-esque yes sure-esque how old is aunt becky aka laurie laughlin hmm i think she's gonna be older but go ahead and lock that in lock that in buddy she's 59 yeah i thought so i mean she's 59 of course this is for eight dollars at this point of all of our people like i'm you're trying to think of somebody that's like just after friends you know yeah or around mcconaughey yeah but that's what you did with woody hey hey um oh i think i got one then all right but you let's if we're kate hudson kate hudson kate starry yeah kate hudson

mcconaughey's love interest in how to lose a guy in 10 days that you think was older than mcconaughey or the same age i think she was exactly the same age this i think this is in in play for worst guess okay i think she's like 39 all right kate hudson is 44 okay 55 how actually how dare you do you not know how hollywood works i really actually let's just stop right now this is how old was barrymore it doesn't matter how old barrymore was because k natson was 44 you were 11 years old go Go ahead. Go ahead. And this is for $85. And this is from way downtown because I do know, in fact, that this lady, this lovely lady, actually, is 55. And my God, she looks great. I'd give it up for Selma Hayek. Isn't she lovely?

Way older. 57. Yeah, 57. Way older. Way, way, way older. Yeah, you guessed Kate Hudson, so I don't actually hear any insults. All right, for $90 at this point, Jake, and I know sometimes we don't pay each other. I think we have to make a deal right now that the loser does actually pay at this point.

This is too much money to get. This is too much money. We've each guessed wrong nine times. Yeah. We haven't gotten one out of 18. Correct. Okay. So let's think about other, you know, Friends had a lot of guest stars on it.

So that's kind of an interesting. Informant. One of them was Paul Rudd, your first guest, by the way. Yeah. Oh, Paul Rudd was my first guest. Paul Rudd is, that's a really, that's a really strong guest. I'm going to go back. Have we played long enough where you can guess again and it would be true? Yeah, is he 55 now?

Has he turned it yet? Okay. And Michael Jordan's 60. Yes. So that's right off the table. So that's obviously, yeah, not happening. Brett Favre, that's interesting. I love the Favre.

That's interesting. I love going football with this, yeah. Favre is in play, but I don't know if you want to go all the way with Favre. Yeah. How Favre can you go? How Favre can you get? Because he retired at 40, and I feel like that was 15-ish years ago. It was around then.

Yeah. And it was around 40. You know he'll be around 55. Yeah. So it won't be as embarrassing, I as kate hudson but i really want to feel yeah i want to feel amazing about my guess i got a really good guess actually permission to steal no no no no no no no way a carson daly level that's guess that's that's what imagine sitting next to carson daly and and Fred Durst as your two guesses.

Yeah. Fred Durst is also not that bad. By the way, if you get it right, do I get a chance to match and mat like a retribution shot? Yeah. Because he technically got one more guess. I think you should. Okay, great. All right.

Let's go ahead and say Favre. Let's say Favre. I'll just say Brett Favre. Brett freaking Favre. Oh, my Lord lord he's 54 he's 54 he was going 55 and a 50 foe i'm going to go with ben stiller just because i that feels perfect doesn't stiller just there's something about stiller that just feels right there There's something about Mary Starr, Brett Favre, reminded me of Ben Stiller that feels perfect. This is for $95.

Yep. Older? It's 58. Thought so. It's 58, and it says, did you mean people also searched for and it gave a 55 away which i won't look i won't tell you or use so just know that i could jason fucking tatum oh my god the 25 year old boston seldick jk jason beta batem bateman that's pretty jason

bateman that's really jason i'm scared this is for a hundred dollars win me a hundred bucks i'm really scared of this he's 54 he turns 55 in january my god that's a good guess so close we're up to $105. Uh-huh. You've guessed wrong 11 times. Me, 10. This is... The pot is fucking... The crock pot is boiling over. This is a pressure cooker.

I can't... Now losing this money will actually hurt. I don't want to Venmo you $100 plus. I don't want to lose. For what? That's right. It's a lot of cash. That's right.

And because you went first, I can just fucking end the game right here. Oh, you wouldn't even let me match. Don't have to. 11 guesses each. You were 0 for 11, and I will be 1 for 11. But all my fucking good guesses are gone. I feel like if you win, I should get to match.

I wanted McConaughey. I didn't get either. What's in that zone? Late 90s, early 2000 fucking what about new head gum podcaster david cross it's in play it's in play i'll go david cross 59 59 we're up to 110 yeah i feel like you're messing with me deborah messing that's really good that's right she's way older than 55 but that's a really good guess really it's a really good guess for me because she's not 55 yeah okay way older how old could she be she's 55 yes oh my god oh my goodness okay that's fine that's fine oh my god fine. Oh my goodness. I just got to nail it. I'm so happy.

I just got to get it right here. That's a lot of money. That's a lot of money. 110. 110. That I won't be paying you. That I won't be paying you. I actually really won't be.

Yeah. Because I got somebody who probably is not only 55, but is so exactly 55. It's right in the middle. Yeah. Or it's like they just turned 55, which is also really, really exact. Today's their 55th birthday.

If that is the case, then I'll Venmo you the full amount. I really have to think okay there's a lot riding on this i feel like we should institute a time limit let's say 10 seconds yeah 10 seconds feels like feels right just tell me when you want to start nine 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Charles Barkley. It's not bad. It is bad. Michael Jordan's 16. He's roughly as old as Charles Barkley.

Barkley's 60. Yeah. That was bad. Okay. Wow. You have to be Debraah messing with me that was clutch it wasn't as good as freebie buffet but it was better because she actually is 55 my god 55 wow i'd love to see should we just look up who's 55 all these people we missed like i wonder if will arnett is that was that was a possible guess for me will smith right off the bat ellen degenerous how old is she you know will smith hugh jackman jamie fox daniel craig all

these people we could have guessed owen wilson they showed me oh guy fieri fuck yeah i wouldn't have guessed guy fieri that's he's a he has a tough age to to pin down let me pay you back in installments i can't i don't have the corner style i need to do three easy payments of 35 with interest i'll give you an interest rate i'm okay with that can i pay you 200 in a year do you want 110 right now or can i give you 250 in two years in year and yeah two years uh otani style you can give me two dollars this year and then 168 million in 2039. God damn it. Good work.

Good job. Thanks, man. Good fight. Good segments today. I think we did good. I think this was a good one. Yeah. That was awesome.

We only got to three, but they're all hits. What are you going to say? Yeah. I enjoyed myself. For more of us waxing and waning philosophical, check out our Patreon, patreon.com slash JA. Yeah. We're writing Jake and Amir's.

We're watching Jake and Amir's. It's a whole diversified portfolio over there now. Incredible. And this might be coming out on or around Christmas. So what a better last minute Christmas gift. Oh, yeah, no, I got you something. Fuck. Patreon password.

Here's a login. The password is I love you. Thought about this for at least one month, maybe two, depending on how things go. Yeah. All right. And we'll be back for this here podcast. Segments, a.k.a. Segmania next week. Segments.

Bye, everybody. Adios. That was a Hiddem original.