Segments - 139: Get Weird (w/George Basil !)

Episode Date: March 9, 2015

Friend/Actor/Comedian George Basil joins us to discuss attraction and parenting. This episode is brought to you by Bombas.com and DollarShaveClub.com! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, I'm Jake Johnson, host of the podcast, We're Here to Help, but this episode right now that you are listening to is sponsored by Brooklinen. Brooklinen provides luxury bed sheets, pillows, comforters, and blankets delivered straight to your door. How do I know this? Because Brooklinen delivered me a quilt, sheets, pillowcases, and I love them. Plus, Brooklinen has been tested and awarded by experts, including Good Housekeeping, pillowcases, and I love them. Plus, Brooklinen has been tested and awarded by experts, including Good Housekeeping, GQ, Wirecutter, and the hosts of We're Here to Help.

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Would you say they're bomb-ass socks? Oh, you think that's where they came up with the name? Bombas? It is B-O-M-B-A-S. We should be clear about that. Still. Yeah, bomb-ass socks. Bombas socks wear bomb-ass socks.

So go to bombas, B-O-M-B-a-s.com slash if i were you all lowercase all lowercase for 20 off your first order and free shipping in the need for socks check out bombas socks uh this is a fun episode because we had our friend on g bays george basil yeah georgie he's a unique character and you guys are going to learn to love him real quick uh but we have to start the episode in order for you to do that. Yeah, so we'll talk to you later. Yeah, things get real. Bye.

Bye. Jane Doe writes, I've got a problem. I've got a guy in. I know he's been sleeping around now Jane, if you're listening I've got assistance This is what I would do If I were you I'd call it over

I'd call a lawyer Cause shit like this don't end too well If I were you I call it over. I call a lawyer. Shit like this don't end too well. If I were you, I'd burn this house down. Maybe not that last one. You know, you always do this. Here I am trying to give advice and... Listen, I really don't care. Fine.

Whatever. Maybe not that last one. It's only if I were you. Oh. It was a rap sketch in the middle. Yeah. How did you like that, George? I liked that a lot.

That moved freely, flowed greedily. I liked it a lot. Good. We're outside, so excuse Helicopter noises You're hearing Right at the start Of the episode Yeah yeah Just to let people know

Excuse the one helicopter That we started out with Oh my god From opening music It's actually just hovering Above us There's a spotlight We're underneath

The heliopad Thanks for coming To our heliopad Yeah thanks for having me I'm on the run You're on the lam Yeah ma'am George Basil

Let me introduce you For people who don't know go ahead give it a shot you do your best you're putting on a blindfold right now yeah my last cigarette uh how would our fans know you you're in college humor videos yeah yeah yeah uh they know me from everything everywhere what was that everything they've done is pretty much part of me you know if they've been george is an enigma yeah i'm the aborition and that's why we hate you yeah exactly what's the most i had a nightmare yeah you've met me you're freddy krueger sleep worlds uh what's your most popular video that you've been in ever? Oh my goodness. Probably Wolverine.

Well, no. Probably the Google is a guy. Oh, yeah. The creepy guy in Google is a guy, right? Come on, man. I'm a businessman in Google is a guy. Yeah, you just always think he's the creepy guy in everything. Are you a businessman?

I don't know. I don't remember. In Google is a guy? I can can't remember there's like three of them all right so it's in you shouldn't you remember since you did it three times yeah but I don't you reprise the role no it was like three different ones yeah I was like first time was a creepy guy second time was like a creepy businessman every time was like a creepy athlete so it's always a creepy side it's just whatever you play you bring a baby to it he's like a creepy athlete so it's always a creepy song it's just whatever you play you bring a creepy to it it's like halloween costumes george was in a video that i wrote the war of 1812 that was the first video i've ever been in did you know jake wrote that

my life yeah because we met at a bar afterwards yeah and i was really excited because you're really good in it yeah and i didn't know what you were talking about. Yeah, yeah. You were wasted. You were on the floor. Everybody was sort of trying to give you CPR. I was like, you were really good in the video. You were a creepy soldier. Creepy soldier. Would you say you're an actor or a comedian?

I think I'm an actor now. I used to be a comedian, but I don't laugh anymore. You don't have to laugh to be a comedian. You have to have laughter in your heart, and that's all gone holy shit that's all right you're like the opposite of a motivational speaker you're a demotivational uh what's the opposite uh yeah i'm pretty much i'm pretty sure that i'm going to be prolific soon uh i'm going to start crying and as soon as i start crying i think it's going to be prolific soon. I'm going to start crying. I like it. And as soon as I start crying, I think it's going to open me up to awards.

You're like Eddie Murphy. The more you act, the less funny you become until you're just a good actor who never smiles anymore. You're the white Eddie Murphy. God, I hate him. We should say that the opening theme song was written by Mike Skriloff. Pronounced like Skrillex, except less cool,

unless you say it in a russian accent then 110 more cool uh thanks mike skrilloff we love it good uh have you ever heard the show before no let me explain things to you this isn't this is an advice podcast oh you don't even want to know just because nothing matters is all yeah uh i'll explain it to them and then you can listen okay so if you've never heard the show before uh listener at home this is an advice podcast people write us their questions they're in seek of guidance and they write us emails to if i were you show at gmail.com and then jake and i offer our advice okay shit uh and sometimes just us and sometimes we have a really close acquaintance. White Eddie Murphy. Yeah.

White Eddie Murphy. Do you guys take, ooh, there was a question. Mescaline? And there, yeah. Do you guys take mescaline, too? In addition to me? No, I got it. Do you guys accept calls?

Is that what you're going to ask? No, no, no. It had something to do with advice but then um i think i started spelling the word in my head and i lost track of everything sorry do you wear those headphones the whole time i'm i wear headphones jake does not and then you can if you want oh no i'm just making sure that nothing gets cut in and out and stuff like that okay you're the monitor yeah yeah i'm like the monitor yeah yeah um okay i won't remember my question but uh well let's get started with the question these are real emails from real people

we're gonna give them fake names ideally you're gonna give them fake names to preserve their anonymity can you give me a fake name of a lady talc huh talc last name talc talc talc talc talc i love that talc talc where's she from monrovia so not that far away really just a little just a little east of the town 80 miles east of pomona all right hey guys i'm talc talc an 18 year old in my first year at college there's this guy in our friend group who told me he wants to sleep with me. He's a dime and a smoke show, a 10 out of 10. The only problem is,

I think he's a douchebag. His personality is so repulsive that it almost turns me off. I really want to sleep with him, but I'm having a hard time getting over this personality factor. Is it normal to not want to have a one-night stand or a fuck buddy because of someone's terrible personality?

Oh, wow. Thanks for the help. Love, Talc. Talc. Monrovia. For Monrovia. What jumps out at you, George? Well, I don't know. Can you be a dime if you're a dick? Uh, yeah. That's a really nice, that's a Georgism already. Can you be a dime if you're a, oh

so you're saying at least reserve some of those points for a personality. A couple points. So the most attractive you can be is an eight, and then the two is personality points. Yeah, you can be an eight physically, but then the last two bonus points... Extra credit.

...you can say something. Because how many times have you guys been in an environment where it's a bar full of beautiful women, and you're looking around around and you're like, yeah, they're all, that one's beautiful. That one's beautiful.

That one's beautiful. I don't think that's ever happened. But then you're saying, but you're not attracted to them because they're so like unobtainably different. Uh, no, no, not at all.

No, uh, within my reach, but you have the coolest life ever because like we are as you're explaining this scenario one i've never been to a cool bar and two amir's attitude is but the problem is that they'll never like you we can't and then you're like no i'm hot enough to get them it's not that yeah no i'm an eight with four on the back oh very nice uh no but like you know what i'm saying like they they do something say something or act a certain way where you're just

like oh my goodness that's your dick just shrivels to nothing my dick is born shriveling oh it's a raisin yeah yeah at rest that's what happened to me i could fuck whoever and then just like not anymore if i don't like their personality i wish i could but like one time for body and stuff that's what happened to me i could fuck whoever and then just like not anymore if i don't like their personality i wish i could but like one time for body and stuff that's great oh so your default your zero is one you're like oh that girl's awful i'll only fuck her once if she's especially awful i feel like i'd want to fuck her a lot so it's inversely proportional the worse you are the more you want to have sex with them. Yeah. Well, there's like some sort of threshold where like if they're just pretty bad, then I would only want to fuck them once. If they're really bad, I would want to fuck them all the time.

Yeah. And then for you, there can be something with their personality so bad, you don't even begin to be interested. Not even close. Yeah. The physical stuff, like everyone has physical flaws even a dime whatever this dude is considered like a dime right yeah there is a physical flaw somewhere his assholes cleft or like he has a cleft asshole and smashed toes by the way as i I look down, I see your smashed toes, and I'm 80% certain you have a cleft asshole. Still a dime.

Baby. From the waist up. A cleft asshole. There's no way to be that taken physically. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe there is a perfect human specimen that I'm missing, but everyone's going to have that one physical flaw, so if there isn't something to back it up,

man, like, say something witty. One thing. One. One thing. Say a witty thing. Order a drink in a funny way. Yeah, like, that's an old-fashioned way you say what? Old-fashioned, please. That's good. You say it in an old-fashioned way. That's all you do. It's simple,

but dummies don't know that. Dummy dimes don't know that. So you say it in an old-fashioned way it's all you do yeah it's simple but dummies don't know that dummy dimes don't know that so you're saying good personality is sort of sense of humor or that was just an example yeah no that was for me personally oh so you can't date someone that's not funny yeah or interesting or weird i think there's a there's a high weird factor that I need. You like weird. I like them weird. All right. Can they be too weird? No.

That's me. No. I'm the too weird. Yeah. Have you ever been the more normal one in a relationship? No. No, I haven't. That's why I like them too weird.

Sounds like they're not too weird. That sounds like you're too weird. Yeah, I'm like, I not too weird. Sounds like you're too weird. Yeah, sounds like I'm too alone. I've never had anybody be weirder than me. And I never will. Rhyme's too easy. I'm also emotionally unavailable. I'm a wacky dude and I'll be alone forever. Oh, man, please.

Alone in a bar in Monrovia, California. So what was her specific... I'm waiting for someone named Talc to come in. Will you let me know? She said, is his personality... Is it normal to not want to have a one-night stand or fuck buddies? So in my situation, I'd say, yeah, but what about you guys? I think it's normal to not want to have a relationship with this guy but if she's physically attracted to

him then maybe she i mean you might as well fuck him it's not like there's anything wrong with it right they're both single they're both uh he wants to fuck her she kind of wants to fuck him so yeah sure yeah or you could just like make out with him and see if there's any sparks and you don't have to fuck you just like oh, you can go to second or third base. You don't need to go zero to 100 real quick. Yeah, so he can touch her breasts. That's first or second base. Oh, that's second base?

Of course that's second base. What do you think? So zero is your first base without kissing is just breast touching. First base is choking. Oh, I meant first base is above the waist breast touching. First base is choking. Oh, I meant like first base is like above the waist. What's second base then? Second base is fingering. Yeah.

All right, fine. Then what's third? Oral sex. Nope. Yeah. That's its own league. First base is kissing. Second base is boob stuff.

Third base is below the pants stuff. You have to specify if you go down on the person that's a new game yeah oh that's like a that's like a ground rule double or something or a triple yeah but it's a it's a inside the park home run but it's ruled a triple with an air a fielder's air that's the last face that is perfect yeah that is perfect because it is always an air when it happens or it's like a barry bonds thing where it's like a home run with an asterisk around it. Oh, yeah. Can we talk about that?

That guy was using the cream and the clear, I swear. He was lighted up. He really was. Have you seen his forehead? He's a Cro-Magnate. So the rest of this episode is about fantasy baseball. Good, yeah. Who do you have?

Sammy Sosa. Cro-Magnate, number two. All right, I'll say, I'll agree with Jake. Really? Well, I mean, it is normal to not want to, but you might as well go for it. What's the worst that can happen? Yeah, I think I have like a physical block.

Yeah, but that's fine too. I think either way is normal. Because I think most dudes would just fuck whoever. I mean, I think I'm not special that I would fuck anybody. I think that's like most guys. And then there are like good guys who would say, I want to be attracted to the person mentally and physically. For me, I don't care.

I don't even need to be attracted to them physically. Oh. All they need to do is to be a girl and I'll want to fuck them. Oh, really? Yeah, just to see what it's like so sex for you isn't an attraction thing it's just a it's the equivalent of tossing a ball around yeah no because i have fun doing it well is it still fun if they're unattractive yes sometimes it's more fun yeah sometimes it's more fun wait now you're against me only for unattractive

you like the unattractive yeah yeah you're weird the weird one me? Only for unattractive. You like the unattractive. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're weird. The weird one's too weird, too unattractive. There's nothing weirder than being ugly. Have you ever been attracted to an unattractive person? Yeah, totally. You're just into that other shit?

Yeah. Yeah, I mean, dude, laughing is the best oh so i guess who's to say who's attractive and not if you are attracted to her then she is attractive yeah so i've never been attracted to an unattractive person to my by definition because once you're attracted to her she becomes attractive becomes attractive now let's discuss the semantics of love. How would you... Oh, I'm getting a phone call. Are you? Hello? Hello?

Who's that person? It's Jake's sister. Get out of here. What's she doing in there? Just being an angel? Yeah, she's just washing the dishes. She went shopping. And now she's here.

What is she doing here? She lives here. She's moving to Los Angeles. To here? To here? She actually lives right here in the cabin. With you, her brother? No, I live downstairs on a couch.

Oh, yeah? Does she need a home? Yeah, she does need a home. This is great. All right, next question. She's 26 and single, and it would be my absolute honor if you would fuck her. On the show. My unattractive sister come out room hilda weird

you like it too weird old-fashioned just washing dishes is the sexiest thing anyone could do she's as normal as they come george oh okay so back off no problem no problem what are we talking about the sports again uh what were we talking oh yeah the semantics of love no just okay what are we talking about the sports again uh what were we talking oh yeah the semantics of love no okay what are the semantics of it

the same as the logistics yeah alright let's talk about that it's all the same how many pieces of advice do you guys give on a typical podcast

we usually get like three or four in yeah yeah questions three or four questions cool but who's to say

how much advice would it be oh you're gone you're going out wow because of that answer Yeah, questions. Three or four questions. Cool. But who's to say how much advice would be problematic? Oh, you're gone. You're going out. Wow. Because of that answer? You're holding us hostage? What, you wanted more or less?

It's like you're hearing words for the first time. More or less. What? Is that a question? Of course. I agree with it it's two it's two questions i agree with all that oh all right howdy oh no okay sticky situation right here we need a guy's name can i see your sunglasses no no these are really nice are these vintage? No, those are left over from a relationship Really?

So maybe they're vintage, but she's gone So yeah, they're vintage To me Because they represent a woebegone era I wish I looked cooler in sunglasses Dude, those make you not look cool Those are bad on you Especially with that

It's tough to say that they're bad on you but they're bad on you you think so yeah i think you do better with rectangular glasses yeah the problem is my nose is crooked what'd you do to it actually my sister down there broke my nose when we were kids so how is that normal love with me no okay sister that can break her brother's nose. Yeah. Because I broke my sister's. Did you? Yeah. Really? Yeah. I got my ass beat, too.

Was your older sister? Younger, and I wanted a brother. Oh, so you punched her in the face? Yeah. Is that true? I wanted her to look more like my brother. This is when you guys were in your 20s. Yeah.

She was pregnant. I was angry. I had a few drinks, and I hit her. Because you wanted a brother. I wanted a brother't they weird i think no why aren't you drinking like i am i think you're illegal more than weird um oh yeah guy's name martin that's so normal talk talk and then martin martin writes i'm a 20 year old sophomore in college But I'm pretty shy I'm a 20 year old sophomore in college

But I'm very shy My mother goes as far as to call me antisocial I don't have very many experiences In the lady department I've never had a girlfriend In fact I've only had my first kiss a month ago But that didn't end well Anyway I go to my school's rec center

and work out pretty much every day and I see this really cute girl practically every time I go. I just can't make myself try to talk or flirt to her in any way. Do you guys have any advice on what to say specifically or how to gather up the balls in general

to talk to a girl or just girls in general? Thanks. I think you're going to be really good at this, Jake. I don't know. I don't know. I'm very, I'm, I don't have a lot of confidence. What?

I don't have that like go up. You have that. I have craziness. Isn't that confidence? If I see a girl every single day, I would be so mortified. I wouldn't be able to go up and be like, can I introduce myself? I'm Jake. I see you all the time.

That's true. And like, that's what you should say, right? It's so easy, but you won't do it. I think this is what I personally would do. I would, it's really simple. You just start saying,

Hey, you see her all the time. Smile, say, Hey, and then contact like you. If you see her every single day, just make that first.

Hey, and then two weeks later, graduate to how's it going? Oh, just slow, a bit slowly. Chip away. Yeah. Chip away. I think that's what I would do. Cause I'm later, graduate day, how's it going? Oh. Just slowly, slowly, slowly. Chip away.

Yeah. Chip away. I think that's what I would do. Because I'm too, I mean, what George is going to say is what he should do. Which is? You go up to her, you hit her in the face with a barbell. Exactly. Oh, no.

Yeah. Then you cut her throat. Whoa. I wish I had a brother. Then you save her. Yeah. Then you save her life.. Then you save her life. How are you with approaching attractive ladies? Horrible.

Really? I won't do it. Yeah, I make fun of them to their face, and then I walk away. Fear of rejection? But you can make friends really easily. Yeah. So you could walk up to a stranger, and by the end of the conversation, they would think you were great. Yes, but very seldom is that stranger a hot girl

you need somebody else to break the ice oh yeah is that true maybe so what does it take who are the who are the type of people that can walk up to anybody and say whatever aren't those people are true assholes yeah those are the those are the dying i've got like i've got a lot of charm and charisma dormant inside me and i need and I need permission for it to come out. You need personal, like, access. Right. I need you to be like, hey, this is my friend so-and-so. And then I go in, and then I'm good.

I can't go in and be like, I deserve to talk to you, and I'm cool. Here we go. Yeah. It's such a catch-22. I need someone else to say, impress me, and then I can rise to the occasion. I can't go up to someone who doesn't seemingly want me to talk to them so not not to get too uh therapy oriented but the first thing that that martin mentioned in this question is his mom oh yeah right oh and he mentioned that his mom is like kind of a fucking cunt no she said that doesn't. Not to get too therapy oriented with you.

But he didn't say that at all. Like, yeah, things are tough with my mom. Yeah, she's being a cunt to you? She sounds like your mom's being a cunt. She's got a face. Punch it. She just said that she's antisocial. Yeah, so fuck her.

And all moms. That's a shitty. Yeah, fuck all moms. That's a shitty thing to say to your son because if he is, well, then you're partly responsible for that. If you had any responsibility, like if you took any. And for those of you guys out there saying George doesn't have any right to comment like this, he's a mother. I am my mom.

Yeah. I am my mom. George has a daughter. This is a real fact. Oh, yeah, you're a parent. We're talking about actually raising kids. Absolutely. this is a real fact oh yeah you're a parent so you know like this is we're talking about actually raising kids absolutely you have to give them all the tools that they need to build that self confidence and stuff like that not necessarily like not specifically for stuff like going up

to a girl because that you're going to have a hurdles with that no matter what okay but the foundation of confidence is going to come from your parents. It's the only place it can come from. Kind of, yeah. They're the ones that are, even if it comes from other people, other relatives or other friends and family group, that family member, your most immediate family member, is the one that's like introducing you to that, taking you into those situations.

You guys have both met Lula. Yeah, your daughter is awesome. She's great, right? She's got the confidence. She is confident. And she's confident around people that she may have only met a few times because she's developed that understanding.

She's friendly with other kids. Right. But what about kids that are introverted? Are they wrong? No. Like if I was a shy kid, is that the same as being the opposite of confident or confident and shy i think introversion's fine i think being like shy is cool so long as like

when someone does try to encounter or like you know activate you socially that you can do it right you're crippled by interaction people can be confident like if yeah like i don't want to talk to people but if somebody talks to it to me then yeah i can like be articulate and charming in my own way so you always have to just be confident that like you know what i'm an introvert and that's okay i'm shy and that's fine i'm introverted even though you guys think that i'm like a crazy fuck face that like rolls around i do like you do seem like you're confident like you're always a little bit tipsy yeah i'm always a little messed up but there are parties or events or whatever where i'm standing there and it's like i'm gonna stand right here my feet aren't gonna move and i will not look at anybody and i

will stare down and everything just goes gray and I smoke a ton of cigarettes and I drink a lot until it's just like, well, now I gotta go. I'm gonna be on the lookout for that. Yeah, you should see that guy. We should go out tonight.

What are you doing after the table read? I don't wanna go out with George. I wanna go out with sad George. I can show you that guy. You mean gorge? Oh, gorge? Gorge. Sorge. Here comes Sorge.

What would you say to Martin? Well, actually, your sister just said, this is very apropos. I think we could say this, but she was hit on on a run. And this is sort of the same thing. Like, if I see a cute girl on a run, I never know what to say after I tackle her. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Thank you so much. Good night, everybody. This is a I tackle her. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Thank you so much.

Good night, everybody. This is a citizen's arrest. Oh, oh. And she's like, yeah, he just came up to me and started talking. I'm like, what did he say? What can you say? How did he do it? And she said, do you remember what she said?

Yeah, well, she said something. Oh, I remember the exact thing that he said. Yeah, which is what? But first of all, they crossed paths on this run three times. I know, but this is the first day that he saw her. But like, I don't think she would be into some dude who like, as he was running, just stopped her and was like. Well, this guy's seen this girl at the gym multiple times.

Right. So he said, is it weird if I introduce myself? I think that's perfect. That's slick as fuck. Because it's self-aware. Yeah. But it's also confident. It's weird if I introduce myself. Yeah. Is it perfect. That's slick as fuck. Because it's self-aware, but it's also confident. I don't know if I introduce myself. Yeah, is it weird?

I know this is weird. Nobody should be like, yeah, that's a little weird. Don't do it. Well, it helps that you're a handsome dude. Right. Is he a handsome dude? He's at least jacked

if this dude goes to the gym every day. Really? You're talking about Martin? No, I'm talking about you. Oh, my sister? Yeah. Yeah, she said he was handsome. I don't know.

I'm going to kick his ass over that. Nobody can have her. I'm going to be a protective brother into my 50s and 60s. To the point where you're just beating up her loving husband. My brother-in-law. They've had three kids. Tell me they're fucking adopted, man. Tell me they're fucking adopted.

One more kid comes out of my sister. You're done, dude. I'll know. I'll know you booned. Booned? How many times you freaking booned, dude, on your honey boon? Did you have sex with Brett Boone or Aaron Boone, dude? I swear.

Walk off Homer, bottom of the 11th. You got to be shitting me with that, dude. It would be an honor of Boone boon my boon boon. That's what you call your sister, right? Your poon poon? Yeah. Boon boon boon. I want you in my room.

So that's my advice is to say that line exactly. I like that line a lot. Is it weird if I introduce myself? Is it weird if I introduce myself? I think that's perfect. I wonder if this guy is so cool he came up with that on the spot or if he's been using that line. Because that's my line now.

I came up with it, I think. Yeah, I also developed that line. I'm very proud of it. We all have that line now. It's just like going up to people and asking if they're married. Are you married? Is it weird if I ask you if you're married? You're married, right?

All the good ones are. No, I'm not. Is it weird if I think you're married? Hey, are you also married? Is this weird? We're going to get a ring. Do you want to know my name?

That's a good line, too. You walk out the door, do you want to know my name? That's pretty funny. Can I give you something? My name. Do you mind if, can you just watch my name? What if you go up to a bar and you just say to a girl, will you buy me a drink?

Hey, will you buy me a drink? That's funny, but it's also kind of like the game. Yeah, yeah. To walk up to a girl and demand a drink. Stupid glasses. You look kind of like a chubby Paris Hilton. Buy me a drink. Backhanded compliment.

I love it. It's the game, dude. You got to insult her in a hot way. I'm peacocking by wearing a pocket watch. A pocket watch and a boa. And then you neg. You re-neg on a promise. That way it shows that you don't give a shit about her.

What's another good example of a thing to say to a girl in public? Is there something as good as, is it weird if I introduce myself? Well, that's self-deprecating. So if there's a girl who wants confidence, you might just want to go up and say, Hey, I'm Jay. Hey, I'm a beast. Hey, i'm jayce right hey i'm a beast hey i'm beast oh like that's your name you can totally do that your hair is so long you do look like a lion i am beast give me an old fashion

it's just like the end of terminator where you're turning into like seven characters in molten lava impress her with my range right off the bat yeah dude i'm an actor not a comedian i don't laugh dude when you're on tv if you look if you're on tv like you are you don't fucking need to say shit bro you don't even have to talk too high i'm on mtv's prank motherfucker that was my show not yours oh you are yeah yeah that was pranked yeah yeah is that still on no no no no no god no yeah it's over five seasons that's on true tv or four five seasons before tv uh i think it was five you really did it you were doing that yeah i hosted a prank show with Streeter. Do you know Streeter? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. And Lustick. Adam Lustick? Oh, that was a different one. That was a different prank show. He was a punk. He was a punk. He's a punk, dude.

That's what I'm saying. Lustick, if you're listening, and I know you are, get up and come out. He's not. This is one of the most popular radio shows. Yeah. For actor comedians. Come by right not. This is one of the most popular radio shows. Yeah. For actor comedians. Come by right now. This is a live radio.

Somebody once asked me. Yeah, I guess they won't listen. Maybe they'll listen. Let's take a break and I'll tell you guys what this person said during the break. And then we'll come back with more George Basil. Ah. Thank you to DraftKings for sponsoring this episode of our show. Hey-o, DraftKings.

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Non-withdrawable pick six credits expire in six months. Limited time offer. See terms at pick6.draftkings.com slash. Right. Promos. There it is. Thanks, DraftKings. Thank you to Squarespace for sponsoring this episode of our show.

Hell yeah. Jake, you've been building on Squarespace for decades at this point. Exactly. Eons, it feels like. Yes. So you know how easy it is to use their simple, intuitive, drag and drop design technology? Yes, yes, yes. Easy to create, easy to sell, easy to promote.

Squarespace is my all-in-one, first stop, one-stop shop. Yeah. It's kind of funny that they have also award-winning customer support because it's so intuitive that even Jake was able to figure it out. But if you have any questions, they can figure it out for you as well. Exactly. And I did need a lot of help. I needed a lot of help.

It's easy for everybody, but I still like to have my hand held. They even have AI at this point. You can update written content, product description, or email with Squarespace AI. You can even buy a domain name through Squarespace. Exactly.

Like, you know that movie Freaky Friday? Yeah. How'd you like to own FreakyFriday.com? That'd be great. Is that available? It's not available. Yeah. But how'd you like to own Freaky Tuesday? Interesting. Freaky Tuesday. So that's when like you run into each other and

some parts of your personality change, but ultimately it's not a full body swap. Right. Mostly you're just concussed. Yeah. Which is new. It's kind of like having a new personality. Yeah. It's funny. I consider myself a vision lifter, which is why I recommend somebody buying visionlifters.com. Oh, vision lifters. Yeah. Vision lifters with a Z. And not where you think. And it's not biz with a Z. So if you're looking to buy a domain name

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You were on the phone with the doctor and I just yelled, and we're back. And you're hanging up on him. He's about to give you results. How are you doing? How are you doing in general? Good. My hair's long. Yeah. hair's long yeah hair's long no beard no beard my daughter had a jogathon today at her art school

so i went to that nice gave them money how many i live like i'm rich but you're not nope you just cut checks just like cutting checks throwing dollars it doesn't matter i gave them a hundred dollars of cash today. In cash. In cash. The crazy thing about George, I think, is that you have a very adult life. You own a house. But I'm a child.

Several cars. Yes. You have a daughter. Yep. A classic car. I mean, let's undercut it. You live a fine, well. You have fatherly life, but I also think that you're basically the same as us.

Oh, worse. Worse. Way worse. Can you guys handle the quiet? Because I can't. I can't handle the quiet or the dark or the lone. Or the loud. Quiet is bad, loud is worse.

Darkness is awful. Brightness is actually ten times worse than that. Having a hard time with this earth. But I do have three cars. Proud of each one of them. And a daughter. I'm sort of proud of this. She's all right.

She's fine. She's one of the cars. I mean, I like the Toyota. I do like that fucking pickup. I think overall well. Everything's busy. Things are cool. Busy in our business

is like never never stable or promised. You shot a pilot of a TV show. I did, yeah. So in our business we get busy for like

three weeks or a month and then we wait for a long time and we're scared. And then they say you're going to be busy for several years or never mind

back to the drawing board. There's nothing in between. We're never going to see you again. Like all these relationships, you like the writers, you like the director, yeah, well, they don't care. Bye forever. They're on to the next one. And you are on to nothing.

It's true. You have to get so many miracles done just to get it. Yeah, just to get there. Like auditioning is hard and then getting the part is even harder and then you have to get so many miracles done just to get it. Yeah, just to get there. Like auditioning is hard, and then getting the part is even harder. And then you have to be on the pilot, and then that has to go, and then that has to do well. Plus, after you're on the pilot, even if the pilot goes, they'll focus test. And everyone's like, this pilot's really funny. We don't like George.

They're like, all right, this character's gone. Yeah, you hear about that. It's like, oh, this this show went but the lead was changed at the last second after a table read oh that's devastating jeez she didn't read it well at the table and now she's unemployed instead we have her now she has a job and will be rich from the show if she's lucky and then you when you don't succeed you just read a blog about everyone that did in exactly your place it's like you didn't get the part but look at everyone congratulating this person he got it and now he's rich and famous and you're not yeah but the cool

thing is that he's still miserable oh right everyone's still sad yeah everybody's really sad yeah nobody's actually happy no what is we're always being judged what is happy like uh you know when you like your ipa is yeah they're really happy when are you the most happy when am i yeah let's get to the next question okay my most happy ah uh fake name taylor that was great I feel happy now do you feel like you're happy and sad throughout the day

like or do you have good days and bad days yeah both yeah there have been solid ass days of just like down down down down

down down down moment to moment laughing so much like it's so cute I'm sad I cry I want to kill myself and then some days

are good and then some days I good and then some days I'm just like some days I wish I wasn't even real get lower get lower yeah well you have

to enjoy it all right you have to you have to isn't that what therapy is about getting yourself to enjoy it more

yeah therapy is a load of shit but it's fun you should do it if you do not should do therapy yeah maybe I don't know if I get it covered in my new non-health insurance life yeah But it's fun. You should do it. If you do not. Should do therapy? Yeah, maybe. I don't know if I get it covered in my new non-health insurance life.

Yeah. Obama. Just call. He'll actually bury? Yeah. He'll take calls. Mr. Obama, I'll do Kaiser Permanente. Sir.

All right. Let me just check you off. Mr. Obama, I'll take one Kaiser. Mr. Obama is a good way to insult the president. Yeah. Wow. Mr. Obama, hi. take one Kaiser. Mr. Obama is a good way to insult the president. Wow, Mr. Obama, hi. Oh, hey. Well, Barack, how you do? Folks.

Did you answer when you're happiest? No, I don't think I did. Is there a specific thing? Yeah. It's probably doing something with the little one, little homegirl, for the first time that is complete. We went to a museum, which we've done a million times. And even this one specifically, we'd been to.

I think you and I, didn't we go to that natural history museum? Yeah, I was with you. Yeah, so we went maybe a month ago. And she's been fascinated with Pompeii. Your daughter. Yeah. Your daughter. The daughter.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. This is only mine. I didn't take anybody else's daughter. We didn't assume that. No, but I will. It'll happen. Just hasn't happened to any girls.

She's fascinated by Vesuvius and Pompeii and shit which is crazy because she's six it's so cool to be like god you must just like pump your fist be like yes my daughter's into something cool

yeah just like nerd it out volcano she likes that I didn't do it I tried to get her into shit and she's just like

yeah cool soccer I don't care but this she like took to it herself but this like I think we watched a couple videos because she was into

mummies for a while like a long time and she just kept wanting to watch like mummy documentaries and be like weirded out by it and um and then this pompeii story i didn't even really elaborate too much i didn't sell it i was just like yeah it was this thing and it killed everybody in this village and they were all preserved because of the ash and because of all the other stuff, and they actually couldn't even see where the city was because it was completely covered and all this other shit that I guess to a kid's brain was just like, what? And so we went to an exhibit at the Space Museum.

What the fuck is that? The aeronautics or something? It's not the one that we went to an exhibit at the Space Museum. What the fuck is that? The aeronautics or something? No. It's not the one that we went to. On exposition. Yeah, it's right next to the Natural History Science Center or some shit. Yeah, yeah. They're all in that same complex.

Yeah. And that was cool as shit. Like seeing her? Yeah. Or it was cool for you? She wasn't even there. No, she didn't come come it was just me and i was taking videos of myself and i was like this is cool sending them to your daughters like can you come pick me up at school sorry i'm in an imax does she have a phone does she text you no not yet so how do you get in

touch with you'll call the house how do you get in touch with them? You'll call the house? How do you get in touch with the kid? Yeah. They're always just wherever you left them. They literally can't go fucking anywhere on their own. Wait, wait, finish your story. Am I allowed to curse on this? Great. Let me start from the top. What was so cool and what was so great? Just watching the experience of that sort of fascinated learning in a way that i i don't know if that

happens in school i don't remember it happening that much in school um my family never really did any kind of shit like that like we never went camping and stuff and so everything that i try to do with her is a brand new thing for me too oh that's cool yeah you're like a child with her kind of right and you're like a child with her. Kind of. And you're actively giving her a much different childhood than you have. A hundred, like 180. Wow. On the complete other side of the spectrum.

Yeah, why does that, like, I remember learning that abusive parents create abusive parents. But when I learned that, I'm like, shouldn't it be the opposite? Like, if you're abused as a kid, shouldn't you then be really nice to your kids because you know how bad it is yeah but uh to speak as an abusive parent you're actually testing that theory out yeah let's see what happens in 20 years it's it's I you see well that goes hand in hand with the whole, from my experience, it goes hand in hand with you grow up to be your dad.

You grow up to be your mom. You become them as a parent. And that has that abusive nut in it. Because shit that I had to go through when somebody would yell or slap you upside the head or hit you with glass and then grind it into your gums. Your cleft ass. I'm gums. Your cleft ass. I'm weird. Cut your cleft ass. Stomp your toes. But then you don't want to do that to your daughter.

No, but you do. Oh, you do. You don't want to, but it's going to happen. It's sort of out of my control. We got him. We got him on tape admitting it. But you do. You do's what that's what's learned that's the grain that's all you know your grain yeah but don't you put your own spin on the grain that's that's the the attempt at like doing completely different shit because we know people

you guys might be one that whose parents actively tried to get you in to other things like yeah let's go to the museum yeah Yeah, let's go camping. Yeah, let's go to a beach together and just surf and hang out like we're buddies and shit and smoke weed together. Would you smoke weed with your daughter? This is dope. You're hot.

You're sick. This is him trying to convince Lou to smoke. Come on, you little pussy. Take a drag. You think Pompeii is cool now? Imagine if you're high. Like, I'm just thinking about this ash. It's coming down out of the hole.

Would you get high with your child? Yeah, I will. But what age do you think that's appropriate? One or two. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Blow the smoker right in her face.

Yeah, one or two. Just once or twice. Of course. And then at two or three. Two or three. Oh, and then what happens at four or five? Lula's fifth birthday was a build-your-own-bong party. Oh, yeah.

You're a build-a-bong in Monrovia. I will definitely do it. Will you? I don't think so. I was born, because I'm in the opposite. I was born into a family like drugs are bad just as a blanket never heard of that and then like i didn't get high or do or drink even in throughout high school and then when i got to college i'm like oh i guess i'm a little more independent i could try this stuff did they never then they never like set you up

with the expectation of like look this is gonna come up you might know you might want it there's all under the rug. I had some friends that their parents were like, you kids got to fail for yourself and learn. And my parents were like, you're not going to fail. Trust us. Don't go there. Don't go there.

Don't go there. Don't go there. Just like hitting me in like being bumpers in a bowling alley. It's like, oh, at least I didn't get a gutter ball. But I don't even know what that's like. My parents were constantly like shielding me from everything bad. Yeah. Well, that's one way to do it. weed isn't necessarily bad it's not that's true

that's a strike in another lane that's what i was gonna say yeah nice nice dude nice bro let me get that but like i guess that that will lead me to a path where i don't want to get high with my children right because of the same mistakes that your parents made. Exactly. That's the abuse. That's the nut. Can you imagine getting high with your parents? No.

Because my dad is a murderer and my mother is an immigrant. And my mother's an astronaut. And my mother's on space. She's already high. Yeah, I could. It would be ridiculous because it would be like me coming in as a professional. I don't know. It seems like if you get high with your kids, those kids are going to do harder drugs one day. Like they never just do pot if they smoke pot with their parents.

Yeah, no. The gateway drug is alcohol and aspirin. Aspirin. A leave in cherry popsicles. Yeah yeah would you get high with your child uh i don't you're only gonna have one well i want to have as many as i can yeah uh but zero it feels like i wouldn't necessarily because i don't smoke a lot of weed now so i can't imagine like smoking it's not really part of my life experience where I would want to. But who else would you rather introduce them to

this psychotropic thing? So you want to be the first to tell them about weed? Oh yeah, I would definitely I think I had, when I was growing up my parents weren't like, we're gonna smoke with you, but I was made aware of it and when I got caught smoking it wasn't like it was like

I came home late from curfew. They weren't like, you can't do this. It's really bad. Like, oh, you idiot. Like, don't do that. Don't bring it into the house. Don't let me find that in your pants. That was what it was.

They were more cool with it. So I would probably be, or I hope I would be slightly cooler than them just to be like, yeah, smoking weed's not that bad. You can do that. Don't come home high to dinner when your grandparents are here. I don't know exactly how I'd handle it, but I probably would be pretty lenient, but not necessarily wanting to smoke with them. Not introductory. You wouldn't be the one that was like, you know what? I wouldn't be the one that gave them weed the first time.

I'm not talking about giving them weed and sending them off to sell it. I also don't think... A little worrier for them. Didn't you also have friends whose parents were like if you're gonna drink I want you to do it at our house and those parents seem like weirdos yeah like I wanna see y'all drunk I'm 100%

cool with my kids I wanna have friends who are those parents so I can like send my kid to a safe place to drink but I definitely don't wanna be the parent that's like alright I got beer for everyone as long as everyone stays in my basement. Ma'am, there's 31 drunk

teenagers. I know, but they're in my basement. Well, not all of them. Some of them got out. One of them died. How did they now? Okay, well that was part of the plan. We found a couple in a root cellar that it looks like you tied up. Alright.

Give me one minute. I just gotta hop Okay, well, that was part of the plan. We found a couple in a root cellar that it looks like you tied up. All right. Give me one minute. I just got to hop in my car. You guys know about Pompeii? Cops. Smoke a little of this wacky tobacco and relax. Well, what if your daughter learns that she goes to school, and at age 12, she's like, they taught me that drugs are bad and marijuana is bad.

Are you going to be like set her straight? Like are you going to go above the school? Fuck yeah. Fuck school, man. Fuck cops. Fuck school. That's what I'm saying, dude. Fuck the police.

Fuck school. Yeah, fuck outdoors. Suns. Sunshine. Fuck windows. Yep. It'd be funny to send them to school and be like, just pay attention in math.

Everything else. I don't know the math part, so you can learn that there. But like the social shit. We'll be the sickest team. Like, I know all about that other shit. Bring the math home. Leave everything else there. Math and science. You got that, kid? Don't eat their food. Never eat their food. Dude, I'll supersede any stupid ass. Public school or private school either school any school dude any school you're teaching you're teaching that many kids that much information like that shit is bound to be false standardized and gross and no not false but

generally lowest common denominator like yeah hey little r Ricky in the back's got to understand it, so now we're going to dumb it down to little Lula. That's not fair. Fuck Ricky. That's what I'm saying. Get that motherfucker out of school. Well, aren't there, like, super liberal schools that you'd be down with? She's in one. Oh.

She's in a super liberal charter school. It's a tightrope walking school. Columbus Day is called Murderer's Day and shit like that. Yeah. It's called Invader Day. Successful Invasion Day. She goes around accusing other kids of supporting this mass murderer. Yeah.

And then in high school and stuff, you're just going to continue sending her to the liberal schools? Yeah. As a teenager going to elementary school classes. I wanted to keep it real. Keep it basic. You're going to send your 15-. I want her to stay. Keep it real. Keep it basic. Keep it real. You're going to send your 15-year-old to first grade? Like Billy Madison?

Yeah. All right, Lily, you're going to do every single grade in two weeks. Motherfucker. Your daughter's a social experiment. She kind of is. Remember when I was getting that, I was trying to get a dog,

trying to like foster a dog and they had to email the mirror or they had to call him to interview him and see if I was a normal dude and you were like yeah yeah get Jake a dog this is going to be so funny that's what it seems like to George to have a kid

George could have a kid it's so funny think about it what would he do wrong do you ever lie to your kid just for fun no George could have a kid Oh it's so funny Think about it She'll like What'd he do wrong? Do you ever lie to your kid Just for fun? No

But you could Yeah yeah yeah No I could lie to her About all kinds of stuff You could just call names differently Yeah What about Santa? Uh yeah

Oh I lie about Santa Oh you do You still lie about Santa Yeah I mean those things Right that's I mean that's like

Normal parent lies You're not like saying Let it live as long as Yeah Right When she comes The first The first time she comes to me, I will never argue the case for Santa's existence. The first time she comes and she's just like, someone said Santa's not real.

They're right. No shit. Oh, really? You're seven. Wow. Happy birthday, you idiot. Her birthday is Christmas, I forgot. This is you in a santa suit i can take

this off cool thank god as soon as she finds out that's what she stops getting presents right yeah that's why it's like a little easier on that i'm gonna believe in santa till i'm 18 it is so sweet like i'm always like saying like oh my kids aren't gonna believe in that shit and then like i walked in on my niece six old, writing a letter to the tooth fairy. I'm like, oh, who am I to take that away? But I did. I said, you know the tooth fairy's not real. How would that work logistically? And she's like, what do you mean?

Like, do you believe in fairies in general? She's like, I don't know. I guess I haven't thought about it. So you think that every time you lose a tooth, she gives you cash, and then how does that work out? There wouldn't be a fairy of any other thing. Just for teeth? Just a winged lady that likes teeth.

And she collects them of all the little boys and girls. Can you imagine how creepy her palace would be? The tooth palace. That is funny, just imagining the tooth fairy at home, just, like, at the end of the day, throwing a bag of loose baby teeth. It's a living. Actually, it's not tooth fairy because you pay for all the teeth. Yeah, but I'll get it back in the long run. This is investment.

This is enamel futures. You can trade that. You can trade it anywhere. We're out of time. I don't know what to tell you, dude. Come on. There are no other letters from strangers? Let's do one rapid fire.

One last real quick rapid fire. What is a rapid fire? A quickie. We'll just try to do it as quick as possible. I've got to get out of here. No, dude. I'll come back. Okay.

Right now? Yeah. 15 minutes? 15 minutes. You want to go on a run? You guys be ready. Yeah. Rapid fire takes a while doesn't it

alright this is a funny question but we'll do it is it short is your sister staring at me dude tell her to stop just tell her to fucking cool isn't it weird to introduce myself from out here

isn't it weird for my daughter to introduce me for me from out here. Is it weird for my daughter to introduce me for me? Has Lil ever seen you hit on somebody? I've never hit on anybody. How could she see something that's never happened? How could she see something?

That would be the Santa Claus. That would be the Tooth Fairy. Yes. She does not believe in that which does not exist. All right. This is just a funny question but maybe we can answer it quickly.

Give me a guy's name.lex writes hey bitches i got more than a sticky situation on my hands it's actually what the fuck is this guy sorry go ahead actually my private school is going to a tropical country next month only a handful of kids and a couple teachers are going most of the female teachers at my school are hot as absolute heck and fresh out of college, and I love them for it. Every guy going on the trip has a crush on a certain teacher who is also going. I'm done with school shortly after we come home from this vacation. All the guys at school are constantly hitting on the teachers. The teachers are insanely flirtatious also, so it's kind of hard not to hit on them. Obviously, we never try to make a move.

Also, the student-teacher relationship at my school is ace. We curse at each other and flirt with each other. We're comfortable talking about any given subject. We're more like friends than students. Given this knowledge, what do you think I should do when I'm on this vacation? Would it be really fucking stupid to try fucking my teacher? I'm sure Jake will say yes, but I really want y'all to imagine being in my shoes for this one. If you were

a horny senior in high school going to a tropical country with a hot young teacher, would you really not try to fuck her? If you do think I should make an attempt at this, how should I go about doing this? I want to do it in such a way that even if I realize there's no chance in France

at fucking her, it won't damage my relationship with her. Also, I don't want to get expelled or some shit. Yours truly, Alex. I like Alex. What kind of fucking porn school is this? The teachers are hot and we flirt and talk and all the guys are hot

too and then we go to Hawaii. That's not a school. This is how rich people actually live yeah if you're like rich and hot this is just your like he is laguna beach yeah all my teachers are 23 and i'm 19 we're all hot my life is already paradise and then we're gonna actually go to paradise she was a senior last year now she's my teacher this year should i I or shouldn't I? My hair is long. You're always trying to fuck them, right? Yeah.

If I'm talking to a girl, then I'm trying to fuck her, right? There's no turning it on or off or like, all right, I'm going to be chill. It just is. And then I'm going to try. It's like, just always try. And then maybe you will. Or, hey, or don't try, and then you will. And then you definitely will.

Oh, so the less you try, the more attractive you are. Exactly. Buy a journal. Yeah, but then I think there are guys like, just write on a journal on the beach, and you will get it. That's maybe true. But there are guys that are really good at trying and acting like they're not trying. Like you. Yeah, I'm always trying, but I'm good at hiding it.

That sounds like magic. Yeah, it's tough. It's a tough thing to pull off, but that's what I suggest here. It's a tightrope walk, to be sure. So try to fuck the teachers. Try to fuck the teacher, but sort of be a little bit passive about it. Don't say, hey, come back to my room, because then it's going to be really weird. But just try to be charming.

Stay up late. Suggest drinking. On a tropical island, drinking age might be 18. Y'all might be able to get drunk out there. Charming. Stay up late. Suggest drinking on a tropical island. Drinking age might be 18. Y'all might be able to get drunk together. Yeah. There we go. You are directing another porn.

Yes. We shouldn't be doing this porn. This is it. Yeah. Oh, my God. Fuckmefinally.com. Somebody bought that. Jake talked about his favorite idea for a porn website series.

Just in general? It's sort of a style of porn. Yeah. Fuck me finally. you have sex and then you kill them jesus christ that's a completely different genre but it would probably be just as lucrative uh yeah we called it fuck me finally and then within 12 hours somebody purchased fuckmefinally.com get the fuck out and put our faces on it yeah what's pretty funny you guys can check it out here let me me load it for you, George.

Whoa. Fuckmefinally.com. You guys didn't even have to do it? No, I just... URL. No, no, no. I got it. It was just no internet. All right.

Not found. Hold on. I want to just turn it around and show it to you like some sort of grand reveal. Oh, my God, dude. That's amazing. That's milk on your head no what no god i wish we should come for milk chummy mug chummy mug all right what do you guys think uh yeah i don't know that's it go

for it why not that's yours go for it why not mine's like get a journal man learn how to surf dude read a fucking book then you'll have so much sex be a man alex and then you can have sex with that's yours go to work why not mine's like get a journal man learn how to surf dude read a fucking book then you'll have so much sex be a man Alex and then you can have sex with anybody you want including no one

it seems like there's it seems like there's no rules at this beach they're a temptation island right you told Lula she's not allowed to have a journal right

for that very reason yeah yeah yeah I was like no what kind of dad are you going to be with boyfriends like 8 years from now I'm going to slap

the shit out of them. I'm a jealous brother. Oh, really? Or a protective brother. Right. Jealous. Get your hands off my love. Sister.

You're fucking my sister? Nobody fucks my sister but me. That's my job, you piece of shit. Who do I love? I'm a protective brother. I've always always been that and so this falls hand in hand it's just like i mean i'm sure all right what time she what time is she gonna date what time three o'clock four o'clock i'll slap the shit out of anybody at any time at any time of the day the worst part is the first boyfriend she has will be the ugliest person alive, a teenage boy. Ooh, yeah. They're half-formed weirdos.

And then they're going to bring one both. Wait, how old is she? Six. Oh, she's got some time. Yeah, I know, but he knocked her down in a bouncy house one time, and I gave him a look like, I'll beat the shit out of your dad. I'll beat the shit out of your dad. Your dad will literally, I'll slap that full executive ass.

This is like that show The Slap. You're going to slap a kid and it's going to create an eight-part miniseries about NBC starring you. You're obsessed with that show. I'm serious, people. Let's talk about it. Isn't Uma Thurman in that?

Yeah. She's cool. Anything you want to plug? No. Do you want... I was never here. Well, we turned around and he's gone. George Basil, thanks for coming on the show.

Thank you. Thanks for having me. You guys are fun. For more questions, or if you want us to answer your questions, go to If I Were You Show, or email us, ifirewshow at gmail.com. For every podcast episode, listen at ifirewshow.com. This is the only one with George, unfortunately. So far.

Yeah. But he'll be back. He'll always be back. And so will we. See you guys soon. Oh, wait. Shit. The opening theme song and the closing theme song.

The opening one was written by Mike Skriloff, and this last one was written by Sam. So thanks, Sam. Thanks, Sam. Peace. You know what the best part about this podcast is? No guests. No guests.

No guests. No guests. No guests. No guests. No guests. No guests. No guests. No guests.

No guests. All right now, my girlfriend is a gosh damn smoke show. In the club like Jay Wits and a Fidodo. Calling Jake out on a Thursday blast. That sweet booty be going clap, clap, clap. You better seize the cheese. Strap on your pair of me undies. They'll give you advice.

There's no need to say please. All right, now when I say swipe, you say right? Swipe. When I say swipe, you say right? Swipe. When I say, uh, jeez, I don't know where I was going with that. But it's if I was you, show at gmail.com. I said if I was you, show at gmail.com. Thank you.