Segments - 178: Divorce (w/UTK!)

Episode Date: October 12, 2015

Friend/rapper/actor Utkarsh Ambudkar joins us to discuss threesomes, basketball, and being called "daddy." This episode is brought to you by ClubW, BlueApron, and Ball Park Flame Grilled Jerky! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. I'm making money Yeah, my boss tells me To take my earphones off But I say, fuck off, bitch Just kidding, not really Cause then I would get fired That would be a satire ending If you don't know what I'm talking about Take a seat, listen to the fucking beat This is the Farrie Show With Jake and Amir

So seize the cheese, as you please And enjoy the show, son Justin Gonsalves Oh, Gonsalves. We met that dude in Toronto. Good dude. UTK. Nice.

You're a rapper. Yeah. Thoughts? Pretty good. How do you rate it? Is there flow? Is there beats? Is there...

Atmosphere. Oh, yeah, yeah. Minnesota, circa like 2001, 2002. So you have some early atmosphere, so he's got a lot of promise. Pretty good. Pretty good. Low on flow, high on lot of promise. Pretty good. Pretty good. Low on flow, high on heart. Oh.

Justin, you did good. It's pretty good for a Japanese guy. I like it. Do you think he's Japanese or is that just how you compliment people? Gonzalez. Pretty good. Definitely Japanese. Pretty good for a Japanese guy.

Yutake, thanks for coming on the show. I'm so excited. Ladies and gentlemen of the world, this is a seminal moment in my life this is so funny jake and amir are my can i curse yeah are my friggin heroes whoa i don't think you'd go that far you guys i'm like i'm shaking right now i'm i'm so hard this is amazing and you guys are probably all fans of Jake and Amir. I've seen every episode. It's a great show. Your writing is so good.

Your chemistry, just the brotherhood. You sound really excited, but you look so poor. You're sitting with your legs crossed. You were wiping your glasses earlier. I am. You look like that. It's what I do when I'm nervous. Yeah, you get very calm.

I get stoic as fuck. But you guys, I mean, you're so good. And it's awesome to sit with Amir because you've actually been in a Harold and Kumar movie. So it's like when they say it to me to make fun of me, but they'll say it to you and it's actually real. Oh, yeah. That's good. I brought race in there way too fast. Well, let's talk about it.

We have to. Yeah, let's talk about white people. Otherwise, wait. We've done videos with you for College Humor before. For those of you who don't know, UTK is, you're an actor, rapper, writer, musician, performer. A little bit of everything.

Yep. Thanks. So if people are listening and they don't quite remember who you are, what do you get known for the most? I get known for... You're the guy in pitch perfect pitch perfect mindy project mindy project i'm in this group called freestyle love supreme which i'm the least well known and famous member of because one of them is just the mega

star of the universe right now and then there's lynn lynn oh yeah there's lynn yeah uh and then you've you've done college humor videos you're in the Freestyle Rapping intern videos Yeah There was the rap battle Between you and Streeter Yeah How is Streeter? Streeter actually killed himself

Yeah 17 years ago About fucking time No Streeter's doing great He's writing for SNL Oh that's awesome Yeah Good for him

So all of our friends Are doing pretty good For themselves Yeah It's like professional jealousy Yeah He's good though He's good

Man and then the prank videos You weren't a part of that, so I don't want to. I was a part of Harold and Kumar, so I don't know if this is. I don't want to leave you out. I don't know if you're a Jake and Amir fan or an Amir fan. I'm a huge Amir fan. I'm a huge fan of you personally. We've spent a lot of time together.

Yeah, we've had some fun times. Jake hit on my ex-girlfriend on Halloween. I know that she was your girlfriend. You were like, damn, girl, let me get up on them butt cheeks. I don't remember this. I were like, damn, girl, let me get up on them butt cheeks. I was like, that's what you must have said. Happy Halloween. It usually does work.

It worked. I mean, it definitely worked. She cheated on me a lot. Not with me, though, right? I don't think she did in real life. I got to go, guys. No, no, no, no, wait. Wait, you're not still with her, though, right?

No, no, I'm single. I'm single right now. And I want to be clear that I had nothing to do with the break of the halloween no no yeah all right cool uh so when we answer these questions this is an advice podcast i don't know if you know is it really yeah it's called if i were you and it's just basically jake and i are answering questions from people who are in difficult places in their lives okay and oftentimes uh it's gonna be relationship advice and fuck i feel like, you know, we're all... How old are you? I'm going to be 32 in December.

Shit, dude. Okay, so you're 31. I'm 32. Jake's 30. When's your birthday? January. Oh, Capricorn. Yeah, dude.

January what? Don't worry about it, dude. My dad's a Capricorn. You guys, this is totally... This makes so much sense. This is astrologically... Your birthday was like two weeks ago. August 5th.

August 5th. August 5th. Are you good with birthdays? I mean, that's what Facebook is good for. But I don't post on the wall. If I have your phone number, then I'll text you. You texted me. You texted me some emojis. You actually text me almost every birthday, and it's real nice.

I love you, dude. I love you too, man. Amir, your work is just phenomenal. You're a good guy, Amir. You're a professional. No, nor should you you because it's so abundantly obvious even before you you play favorites um so these are real emails from real people okay utk we just need you besides your sage advice we need you to give uh these real

emails fake names just so we can preserve their anonymity okay so let's say this guy who's writing uh his name let's give him a strong irish name i like that cornishone oh wow cornish strong irish name is named after the smallest pickle you can actually imagine shown waiters of like dion oh dion waiters cousin Cornishone. Yeah, Cornishone. Cornishone Waiters. That's Irish? Yeah, I don't know why it's not Irish, but here we are. Jake. Cornishone. Sort of like a Japanese guy. Amir, I'm sorry about Jake. No, don't even

worry about it. Like I'm totally used to it at this point. Such a fan of your work. I can't believe I'm sitting with Jake and Amir and you're like totally, like you're like Amir from the show, but you're so much more like... We've hung out before, right? We didn't're like Amir from the show, but you're so much more like. We've hung out before, right? We have.

We didn't just meet today. No, no. But I never, I always get nervous around you. It's so funny because you're so clearly cooler than I am. Not even. Yes, you are. No way. You are objectively cooler than me.

Like your chain is fucking. It's a key chain from my mom's temple. I couldn't wear that. I couldn't wear that. Of course you could. I couldn't wear a hat like you are backwards. It's a key chain from my mom's temple. I couldn't wear that. I couldn't wear that. Of course you could. I couldn't wear a hat like you are backwards. It's a freebie. It doesn't matter.

It sweats, trendy sweats, a basketball jersey. I dressed up for you. I really did. I swear to God. No, it's not. I was like, you gotta dress well. This is your chill outfit. Your chill outfit is cooler than my cool outfit.

I saw you, before we get to this, I saw you when College Humor performed at, not Irving Plaza, but that other, where you guys used to do the yearly theater show and the Gramercy. You were there and John Mayer was there

and I was more excited to see you than fucking John Mayer. I was like, yeah, guy. I saw you at Trax in fucking 98. I'm here.

Hi, I'm here. I love your tux. Anyway, what's Courtney Schoen say? Courtney Schoen, yeah, good. You're a good host. Good co-host. If Jake ever gets sick or I don't know.

I mean, you guys don't like me anyway. I love you, dude. Why don't you just, you guys should host the show yourself. I love you. Just a professional respect over on this side. A little bit more. Yeah, it weighs to the right of the room. Hey, guys, I've written you several times, but I need your help now.

This girl I used to hook up with for the last year reached out to me recently to apologize for being a B. I said everything is okay. She jokingly offered a Netflix and chill sesh, and I laughed and agreed. She escalated things quickly until she admitted that

she had a girlfriend, but they were looking for a daddy i was curious and she told me uh they wanted me to be part of their role playing where she wears a pacifier and acts like a little baby girl i'm not into that kind of stuff but she is a dime my question is how hot does a girl have to be for you to endure to sleep with a dime? Here is a picture of her, and then it's just a picture of her. Can I see the picture, please? Yeah, that's the most important part of the fucking thing.

Well, I'm not talking about this girl specifically. I'm just talking about it. We'll answer it in general, too. But this is what the girl looks like. The question is, can the girl be so attractive that you'd be willing to do a role role play that makes you physically uncomfortable corny shown yeah okay that's a weird one right the pacifier it's not like a sexual thing it's like a weird like before i even saw the picture my answer is yes why not when are you gonna have the opportunity to be with two girls and you're gonna be one's daddy while the other one's a baby i think the weird

thing is just a baby like if i was fucking a girl and she was like google yeah like i would be like i am not a child blester you're a just i don't know yelling in case anybody's recording i'm not saying i wouldn't do it but i i do that one's maybe the most uncomfortable fantasy i could imagine fulfilling yeah i don't have a problem with it i think i really don't i think if unless they're gonna piss and shit on themselves and you have to change a diaper right how deep are we going into it this is a full diaper a full week you don't even get to have sex it's just a role play where you it's like taking care of an egg in high school you have to burp yeah for a week you have to breastfeed the baby and you have to feed the baby applesau baby cry for an hour in

the middle of the night do we think that one of the lesbians are bisexual couple if one of them's playing the mom so you're like mom and dad to a baby i guess i would think so baby so and then you could fuck while the baby's watching oh yeah don't wake up the baby oh yeah a little game that's cool because it's practice but what if it is a weird thing like that like let wake up the baby. Ooh. It's a little game. That's cool because it's practice, I guess. But what if it is a weird thing like that? Like, let's get the baby involved. Like, are you down? Could you do? Would you be tight?

Yeah, well, because it's not, I mean, it's not really a baby. It's a little, like, it's a little pervient or something or, like, morally ambiguous. But it's not, like, it's not a real issue. Do you like when girls call you daddy in bed uh i don't think so i don't know if it's ever happened but i don't think that would make me feel comfortable i've get i've gotten like baby oh baby well that's just when you're like playing with your dick yeah my little cornish on baby little baby but like shown like hearing baby before you're even in a relationship

where there's um pet names to be had yeah that's true that's like a thing i feel like girls jump to daddy before baby oh really i like being called daddy a lot daddy right i do it's really it's empowering yeah it really is it's not bad but do you think of it as a daughter daddy or like oh daddy no i think of like having neck tattoos yeah and you know what i'm saying like you're a big daddy sometimes i ask girls to call me father yeah or their father's name or my father's name yeah call me my father's name or pretend like role playing where you pretend to be my dad and say you're proud of me. Can you actually muster up the imagination? Oh, Jake, you did graduate college.

You graduated. So you're saying, yay, worth it, go for it. I say go for it. Get the details. If you don't have to change any diapers and if a threesome's involved and you get to be called daddy yeah just man up have you ever had a threesome i have heard of yeah yeah i mean oh my mother's gonna so don't fucking tell me you're not cooler than me dude you haven't no i haven't had a threesome you're fucking blumenfeld i don't think anybody thinks i'm as cool as you do i think they're fucking idiots yeah you just need a girl you could have a threesome you're a mere fucking bloomin film i don't think anybody thinks that i'm as cool as you do i think they're fucking idiots yeah you just need a girl you could have a threesome you two and somebody else you two and you t have you ever doubled up with a dude on a girl no have

you eiffel towered i told you i've never had a three i've never even had a threesome jake have you had a threesome um yeah oh yeah not a guy, no. Yeah, the other one. The real kind. Yeah. The good one. The kind I wanted. That's the one that I had. Yeah. Well, good for you. Wait, have you? You've had guy, guy, girl and guy, girl, girl? There's no way I was expecting to give up this much of my personal life. And nor do you have to. Don't feel like you're on the spot. You can say pass.

I will say, but then people are going to be like this is like probably there's every permutation of adventure time i've probably engaged in wow with five people and under so there's like five factorial let's say 125 different possibilities and permutations that you've had this is why you don't have three sets wait a range of guys are we talking about like even the order which the guys and girls happen because then you're talking about a completely different thing. I would have to say that I lost you a while ago. I just, you know, Mom, I pay my rent, and that's all. I mean, you guys haven't had...

I mean, this isn't a bad thing. This is all good. I'm jealous. I'm angry. But see me as a man right now, and sometimes there's nice girls listening, and they're going to be like, oh, he got doodoo on his dick now. Sometimes it feels like you're bragging.

Sometimes it feels like, oh, now I'm coming across real slutty, and girls aren't going to think that's hot because I'm chauvinistic. But what is it really? It's a sexual desire. Everybody wants to have a threesome. Amir's falling asleep. Amir's like, this is done. Anyway, yeah, we've done all those things.

Cornishone, try it. It's dope. Yeah, go for it, even if it's just a pass. I'll tell you a gross story. All right. Because I guess I'm just going there right now. As long as you're comfortable. I think I am.

We don't get that many listeners, somewhere in the 75 to 100,000 range. Dope. All right, guys, check this out. So imagine standing in the 50-yard line of range dope all right guys check this out so imagine standing in the 50 yard line of the rose bowl talking to a complete capacity crowd i'm down i'm down it's all good so i'm uh this is a night of extreme drinking got it and uh three beers three beers yeah yeah plus a shot whoa all right easy does it i was i was um out of my gourd i wasn't i was not of this world you were inside of a gourd yeah i had i had checked out yeah and i woke up from

this brownout and is that what it's called when indian people blackout yeah i think so got it i was on my couch yeah and i was i was furiously masturbating oh while you were drunk well yeah i was like came out of this blackout i'm furiously masturbating. Oh, while you were drunk? Well, yeah. I came out of this blackout. I'm furiously masturbating. There's a pair of perfect breasts in front of me. Oh.

I cannot remember the face. I don't remember the face attached to them, but I do remember these boobs were really nice. And I'm like nuzzling my face in these boobs. Got it. And I come out, and all I hear is like, that's it that's it do it for mommy good boy good boy and i was like how did i get into a mother son it's this girl breast suckling jerk off fantasy this is happening right now that's dope and then you went back into your brownout no then i went and peed and i asked her to leave i was did you finish or what i did not i got really uncomfortable when i realized what was happening

see this is what this guy's afraid i was like yeah but this is a little bit different dope i woke up and i was like oh boy this is not i've been a bad boy mommy yeah i was like wait am i did i play along how far did i start this what's going on here i got you know when you pulled a i gotta pee sorry oh yeah that's a good one yeah anyway i have probably been fired by my agent no no there's good publicity but amir i mean you're just so good and i just have so much respect for you as an artist that i just feel like i need to pour my heart out to you please put me in something oh i mean we should this is it this is the beginning this is all we have for now oh my god it's so exciting this is us putting you in something oh i appreciate it were you always cool

or just are you peaking now because i was sort of i mean you're also a child of immigrant parents yeah were you like a nerdy high schooler or were you cool in high school i was i was okay in high school okay i was like i got well no i was a nerd but i was like i got got, well, no, I was a nerd, but I was like, I got into theater. So I started performing and then I would do dance competitions. Oh, shit. And the morning announcements were televised. So I used to go up and do little rappity raps and sing. Wow. I was-

Where was this? In Maryland, in Gaithersburg, Maryland. Cool. It'd be really amazing if you still remembered your morning raps from the morning announcements. Oh, man, I don't. I remember. Cross practice and SAT prep. Our lip sync dance crew was called the Regulators.

We were nerds. We were total geeks. But like geeks in a cool way. Yeah, like Ferris Bueller. Aren't they all like tight knit? Yeah. So they're sort of outcast, but it's like on their own. They don't care. Yeah, we were misfits. Yeah, for sure. In a celebrated way. like tight knit and like, yeah. So they're sort of outcast, but it's like on their own, the lion,

like they don't care. Yeah. We were misfits. Yeah. But for sure. In a celebrated way. And like, yeah.

And then you get sort of like the pitch perfect thing. That's exactly my life. I was like the, the dude who wore tight pants to the nerd party. And they're like, whoa, dude, you're cool.

Look at his cardigan. Yeah. Yes. TJ Maxx. Thank you. Ross Marshalls. TJ Maxx. Yes, thank you, Ross. Marshalls. TJ Maxx.

What'd you do in high school? I was like. Debate team? Not even. Me neither. I was like newspaper, like trying to write jokes. I did yearbook. Yeah, yearbook.

A lot of literary stuff. Yeah. Like hanging out with my friends, playing video games. Like I didn't perform or anything like that. Until later? Yeah, until later. video games. Like I didn't perform or anything like that. Until later? Yeah, until later. You played fucking hockey, didn't you? No, I was like, I was kind of nerdy.

I was like lazy and funny. I was like a... Class clown. Yeah, class clown. I was like a, what's like the, like sort of like a lame troublemaker. Just like a disruptive asshole a dickling yeah it was a nuisance that was that was me you were a little dickling i was a little dickling through high school that's so cute i was a dick too but mostly when it came to women i was pretty cool yeah i had a good time did you have sex in high school? My senior year, second semester senior year.

I'm not going to say her name. You don't have to. We would never. Come on, dude. We'd have to bleep it out anyway. Well, yeah. I just... How old were you when you lost your virginity?

19. Five. That's awesome. That's so dope. It was one of those baby fantasies, actually. Only it was a reality. It was a baby reality. All right.

Speaking of age and experience, we got one more question to get to. I don't mean a few more, but here's one more. UTK, you got another fake name. This is from a lady, actually. Okay. Joseph? No. Josephine. No, I like Joseph so much imoratu wow what is who's what is that what's her ethnicity um she's from poughkeepsie that's good oh i like that josephine

has a long story but the crux of the question is this how do men feel about a young woman who's already been married do they view her as damaged goods or not that big of a deal? To me, it's not that big of a deal because I've been so far removed from that part of my life and sometimes that I forget that I even used to be married. But I do understand that the topic of marriage itself is bound to come up in any relationship. And of course, I will not hide the fact that I am divorced from someone that I'm dating, but I want to be sensitive to the perception of it and I want to approach it in the right way. So the other part of my question is when is it a good time to tell someone

that you're dating that you've been married before? Should I wait until I'm asked or what are your thoughts on this whole issue? So this girl has been divorced and she wants to know. She got married when she was 21, divorced when she was 23 and now she's like 26 or something yeah 27 all right no kids no kids no problem yeah i wonder like why does it even come up why like it is so it is it would be a weird thing if you're dating someone and then after a year she's like oh i've been married after a year if you are having feelings and going about the boyfriend and girlfriend thing

i think you should probably be like yo just so you know it's gonna come up i was married i fucked it up i did a lot of cheating or like i was a psycho and then like that's the fear right like what did this person do or not do yeah that's all you want to know but it's weird like why the divorce is the question was it the other i mean it's always... Yeah, why did you get divorced? What was... And what would you rather it be? The lady broke it off or the guy broke up with her? In an ideal world, it's we ripped it apart because we got married too young and we didn't

want to be married and we didn't love each other. Yeah, we're really good friends. We just never talked to each other ever. Right. Like, you guys friends? Yeah. You talk? No.

Cool. I mean, in theory, it's not... That's the best because you never want somebody who's like oh like you got married like how was it it was awful it it was volatile it was nasty and we have an ugly divorce and he doesn't give me he was nasty to me yeah because then you're like what the fuck i don't know that's a little scary but it's kind of weird because this is theoretically what happens after everybody's, you know, like you dated somebody for three years and you broke up. But nobody's ever like, why aren't you together with your ex-girlfriend? Right. Why didn't it work out?

Like I've had relationships that lasted longer than this marriage. Yeah. And it's not as big a deal. And when you go on a first date, nobody is like, well, what happened with your previous relationships? They don't ask you that? Not on a first date. But it does come up like how, like, what happened with your previous relationships they don't ask you that if you're not on a first date but it does come up like how like what's your dating history how long like have you had have you had many girlfriends how long is your longest relationship i don't i try not to bring that shit up oh i know but i never bring it up girls bring it up though they do but i whenever girls bring that up to me i'm like i'll tell you whatever you want to know but

don't feel bad if i don't ask you the questions back because I don't want to know. No, hell no. It's the last thing I care about. That's the other thing too is I'm of that frame of mind where if it's not my business, then it should stay that way. Anything that happened before you met, that's not. Yeah. I don't glean any useful information from it.

From the past. Yeah. All that it serves to do is make me a little uncomfortable. But there is a situation where it's like, oh, I was with this guy for 10 years and we just broke up two weeks ago. That's a bigger deal than like, oh, I haven't done with him.

Okay, then we're just fucking. I know what this is then. But it is. That's what I'm saying, that the past is somewhat useful going forward. It's not completely random. Yeah, maybe you want to fill in a couple blanks, like when was your last relationship? Two years ago no no more questions yeah no more questions your honor none

but there are there is information that's helpful it's not just random i think it's occasionally it's it's i don't know maybe there's like an eminent flow but it doesn't feel like it should be up to me to pry that information out like are you very newly single like this girl's saying she wants to volunteer the uh the marriage information if you're dating a dude and you like him get it out of the way just be like listen this might come up at the dinner table with my parents and they're gonna talk about my old freaking husband oh that's good like so i'm just gonna nip it in the butt it a little weird. It's like at one point in the last three years, this woman was proposed to and planned and went through the happiest day of her life with some other guy.

But also, when you get married that young, you sort of understand. There are photos of their wedding celebrating. They're the most in love that they've ever been. Yeah, if you're dating somebody and you click back through their oldest photos on Facebook, you always like see selfies of them and their exes. And they're a bride. This one would be like, yeah, her old profile picture is her in a wedding dress.

Yeah. With another guy holding it like and like kissing his mom because like that was part of her family for a little bit. Right. And then in comes Jake and he just wants to hang. Yeah. Right. You want to kick it? You want to go to IHOP and put some country fried steak?

She got married so young. She got married so young that it's like, I don't know. Even though I'm sure the wedding was meaningful, it doesn't feel like as much of a big life-altering event as whatever she did after her divorces. Right. Well, I mean, one of her questions is kind of silly. Should I wait until I'm asked? I don't think the guy will ever ask if you've been married no it's not

something that if you're 26 probably not if you're 36 first question yeah oh that's true as you get older kids what's up yeah 26 you're like what what was college like like what'd you eat for breakfast did you ever have a husband yeah right were you husbanded at one point did you you know like sign a contract that say you would stay with somebody for the rest of your life do you sign a oh you do yeah the interesting question is like after having been married does she want to get married again or is like if you're dating her does that buy you some time is she like no let's just see what this is for 10 years and then you know maybe we can get married since i already did that yeah you know what i mean right that's true that could be good that could be a nice thing there's like you already got it over with you can tell my feelings about commitment from that statement well i'm with you i don't

believe in marriage necessarily either like it's a it's a strange idea to me can you imagine i love you so much. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I have this piece of paper saying that everything that is mine stays mine if you fuck up or if I fuck up. I love you. I don't think that's going to happen. But if it does, all of our families, they'll stand in a room and watch us promise each other. Otherwise, it's not real to us.

I promise I'll never leave you. Can't we just write an email? I want my dad. I want your dad, your mom, your aunt, that person that babysat you. Because I want to tell in front of everyone, I'll say, only us forever. And then I might have to do that twice. So nobody get too attached to this guy. Oh, man.

So maybe I would say my advice would be to at at a certain point if you think that you're going to be in a relationship with someone maybe you can ask him about his prior relationship stuff and when he answers that you can tell him that oh yeah i was actually married before that's oh that's really let's give him a heads up i'm here you're so good at this man i don't even know that that is so thoughtful and heartfelt and also no responsibility it's just like the most loving sneaky way to do it yeah you ask them they ask you you respond you were married maybe he cares maybe he doesn't just be the water water goes flows and yeah up and around yeah and you're and you're not it's not choosing the direction

crawling into utK's lap. This is so cute. UTK's petting him like a cat. Come here. Come here, buddy. Let's take a quick break. We're going to thank one other sponsor, and then we'll be right back with more UTK. Quick note to let y'all know that we're conducting an audience survey at gum.fm slash segments. And we want to hear from you guys to keep

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now is your chance to make your voice heard, folks. Take this survey and we will read the results. It's g-u-m dot f-m slash s-E-G-M-E-N-T-S. Cool. Sorry, I have to spell it out for some people. Yeah, you do. Thank you to Squarespace for sponsoring this episode of our show. Hell yeah.

Jake, you've been building on Squarespace for decades at this point. Exactly. Eons, it feels like. Yes. So you know how easy it is to use their simple, intuitive drag and drop design technology? Yes, yes, yes. Easy to create, easy to sell, easy to promote. Squarespace is my all in one first stop, one stop shop.

Yeah. It's kind of funny that they have also award winning customer support because it's so intuitive that even Jake was able to figure it out. But if you have any questions, they can figure it out for you as well. Exactly. And I did need a lot of help. I needed a lot of help. It's easy for everybody, but I still like to have my hand held. They even have AI at this point. You can update written content, product description, or email with Squarespace AI. You can even buy a domain name through Squarespace. Exactly. Like, you know that movie Freaky Friday? Yeah. How'd you like to own FreakyFriday.com? That'd be great. Is that available? It's not available. Yeah. But how'd

you like to own Freaky Tuesday? Interesting. Freaky Tuesday. So that's when like you run into each other and some parts of your personality change, but ultimately it's not a full body swap. Right. Mostly you're just concussed. Yeah. Which is new. It's kind of like having a new personality. Yeah. It's funny. I consider myself a vision lifter, which is why I recommend somebody buying visionlifters.com. Oh, vision lifters? Yeah, vision lifters with a Z.

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Thank you, Squarespace. Hey, we're back. Where'd you get your sweatpants? I got these at the Top Stop. Top Shop? Top Shop. Is that your style? Top Man.

Yeah, sure. Do you think I could wear those? I definitely think you'd love wearing these. No, I'm saying it would be comfortable, but Jake, do you think I could wear those? I definitely think you'd love wearing these. No, I'm saying it would be comfortable, but Jake, do you think I could pull that off? Yeah, you have a pair of sweatpants. The Nike sweatpants that you got are pretty cool. Yeah, but they're not that cool. Look at the knee pads.

Yeah. It gets really tapered at the bottom. Bro, you should please take these from me when I leave. We'll trade. I want to take these pants. Try them. Are they medium? I'm a medium. They're a medium, yeah. we're the same size you and i are are you 5 11 150 pounds 55 yeah that's me dude i was fucking overselling

it i was afraid yeah i'm 56 okay me too oh shit dude we're the same we're like we are very similar and your glasses are pretty similar yeah it's so cool you're just like on another level and i'm just trying to get to where you're at well the level that i'm on is different yeah it's but lower no no no not even close we should go out together that would be super fun yeah are you kidding i'm dead ass that would be so much fun what the fuck well you're a little bit too tall i've never like socialized with amir you and i've hung out a bunch yeah we have fun so what do So what do you do for fun? Like on the weekends, if we go out, where would we go? I drink Mad Cherry Coke. Oh, yeah.

I go to the movies and I get the dibs, ice creams, and I mix them with the popcorns and I eat them. Yeah. Really? You don't give a shit. And I eat a lot of country fried steak, a lot of gravy. So are you, wait, you're skinny by accident. You're eating bad food and you're still skinny or do you work out? I eat once every two days.

That's pretty much how I do it. Oh, that's what it is. You'll have one country fried steak a week. One country fried steak a week. And then nothing else. I'm skinny by accident. Yeah. Do you work out?

Do you run? Do you exercise? I am useless. I'm a useless human being. I'll play basketball once every month or so. Yeah. And then like rue the day I ever decided to make that decision. So I'm struggling to keep this physique and then you're just it by accident. don't work out i do you do yeah i'm jealous like five days a week

yeah how what do you like what's your routine like today i ran and then i did push-ups i could not run you could run no no i don't think my knees could take it i really don't think so i i like blame it on playing catcher in elementary school for four years. Fucked up my knees playing in the dugout. Yeah. I'm lazy. I got to start working, though. I'm withering away.

Yeah, you're turning 32, dude. Yeah. That's no joke. And then by 35, you don't know anything about this. But when you're 32 or getting there, shit starts to go south. Well, that's what I'm asking. You're skinny and you're not even- even doesn't look good with my shirt off oh so there's no there's no definition it's just it's but there's is there a there's no sag though there's no flab there's no there's a

little it's like the ski slope thing is starting to happen which is what the ski slope breasts and they're like this just a little oh sort of going like that. They're so small, though. The nice little wine glass. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's really embarrassing. You're getting little perky A-cups. It's tough, man. Just a little acorn titties.

Tiny little paunch. It just doesn't make any sense. But you're not, are you, do you find yourself very busy? Do you have time to work out if you wanted to? Like, you're in movies and TV shows. But is that like an often thing? Or is that like once every couple months thing? There's more than enough time for me to be in physical shape yeah and i just i just uh are you averse to it you don't like working out you don't like the way you know what

it's like when you start working out yeah the first three four days yeah are just useless yeah they're useless waste of time you're weak and you're not seeing any results yeah and you're just tired you feel sad and bad about yourself yeah and there's big dudes at the gym and they're looking at you like what am i five years away from that fuck you guys i don't like you and then you drink the muscle milk and then you get the shits and you're like i got diarrhea and i'm tired my arms hurt now i have diarrhea you're doing squats and you have just like skid marks in your shorts forget squat and then like god forbid you go by yourself and you try to bench press on your own oh no yeah that's dangerous and then i'm putting like i'm putting like 10 pounds on the barbell right that's it i'm just struggling

at 10 pounds so you belong to a gym uh i belong to the 24 not 24 ho, Hollywood gym on Hollywood in La Brea. I got a month pass that expired a few days ago. Four years ago. I went once. Yeah. I even told him, I was like, I want a month pass. You probably won't see me ever again. He was like, fair enough.

Can I have your money now, sir? Oh, man. 70 bucks. Just pissed it away. You look good, though. No, no. I need some biceps is what I need. Yeah, dude. That's not hard. Make a muscle, man. Make a a muscle biceps are actually the easiest one for you tk i want to do

you really i want to i want to show you off i don't know i feel bad a little bit it's like you really want well should i do it like underhand or like overhand do it how do van damme style like this shit like look at that that's awesome yeah That's good. You have a good physique, too. Yeah, I work out. Ladies out there. We rock climb. Rock climbing is fun. It gets you in physical shape, and then you feel like you're just... I'll come rock climbing.

Come with us. You know, I was talking about doing, like, a fitness kind of thing for If I Were You fans. Oh, yeah. Just to, like... I mean, we're not, like... We can promote. We don't actually... Yeah, we don't...

We're not, like, personal... We're not that strong, but we're, like... We're attainably strong. Yeah, I mean, we're not like, we don't actually, yeah, we don't, we're not like personal. We're not that strong, but we're like. We're attainably strong. Yeah. I think we're more inspirational because look at us. Right. You can at the very least look like me, which is not really anything. So like, instead of like putting up Arnold.

Your arms are good. Yeah. That's fine. That's pretty nice. That's great. Like it's a healthy dad bod. Yeah. That's how. That's pretty nice. That's great. It's a healthy dad bod. It's the way to do it.

I want to look like what I imagine people think Barack Obama's body looks like. That's a really good point. Just like nice, chiseled, probably. I don't know. He hasn't let himself go entirely yet. No, he looks great. He really does. I just hope that whoever's listening will try their best.

Girls out there who are listening, who have a close friend, or both of you guys are listening together. Not help, because he doesn't need help. But throw yourselves at Amir with a threesome, please. I really want you to be able to get a threesome. To have that in my repertoire. I also want to let you know that threesomes are not nearly as cool as you think they are. Oh, really?

Because generally, it's two girls that are interested in experiencing each other. Uh-huh. And they're kind of going at it, and they're super excited about seeing a vagina and getting to play with one for the first time. That sounds great to me. Yeah. Yeah, and then you just sort of try and get it in wherever you can. Yeah. No, that's all I need.

Can I mouth your mouth? You just described a perfect night for me. Okay. You underselling it just really knocked it out wherever you can. Yeah, no, that's all I need. Can I mouth your mouth? You just described a perfect night for me. Okay. You underselling it just really knocked it out of the park. It's fun. You just sit there. You put your hands where they go. How many times have you...

They get smacked away a lot. Really? A lot of smacking away. Have you done this a lot? I have once upon a time I had a proclivity for such behavior. How do you... Okay, now that I'm talking to somebody who's done it a bunch, do you find yourself in a situation where you're being invited

or do you have to sort of make the magic happen? There needs to be across the board an enthusiasm. Yeah, and most of the enthusiasm is coming from the one girl who you usually are like more connected to oh it's like i want to try some pussy right and then the other girl who's like i know all about pussy i can help oh i see and then you are just sort of like this is awesome this sounds like a freaking dream yeah and then you get there and you're like i have no business being here why Why? Hey, I'm the man. Like, none of the things where they both crawl up to you on all fours and gently ladle your...

Sure. Into their... Where two girls are doing something to you at the same time. That's just not how these things work. I mean, in my experience. So, let's say in the grand scheme of your sexual experiences, where does the best threesome rank? Is it in the top 10%? Is it not even in the top 10%?

25th percentile? Yeah, I mean, the best one is up there because it was like, whoa, that was cool. Jesus Christ. What? I'm curious as to where it ranks. I'm just wondering as a bar graph. What answer does he, yeah, the graph in your mind yeah no i see it i'm right there with visual it helps me visualize like i'm seeing a bar a rectangle and i want to know oh

you're hard yeah i'm hard it's up there yeah they're fun it's good to have one and i hope that this podcast if it does it's gonna ruin my one. And I hope that this podcast, if it does, it's going to ruin my reputation. No. But I hope that it throws. You'll sacrifice that for a mirror to have a threesome. Please, ladies. If anything. It doesn't matter what you look like.

Well, am I too old? 32 is kind of old to have a threesome, isn't it? Isn't it a young man's game? No, you just told me you work out. You've got stamina. Oh, that's it? All you need is to be able to jog for a mile. Yeah, dude.

You need stamina. I don't have any stamina right now. I smoke cigarettes. I drink Red Bull. I'm like 20 pumps and I need a break. That's legit. I'm just like, yo, if you had met me at 24, game over. That's the UTK you wanted to fuck. You go from like, eh, eh, eh, to like saying things like do you like it slow and deep yeah it's sick drinking a red bull yeah he's like uh do you like it do you mind if we do it slow

do you mind if is a great question to ask when having sex really just this voice inside your head it's like oh we're running out of gas. Running out of gas. Completely separate question that I wanted to ask you. Please, yes. How do you freestyle? How does one freestyle? Practice. Because Jake and I try and we're not very good. You're good.

No, we're not. I'm sorry. I should speak for myself. I'm not very good. I'm awesome. Yeah, Jake's awesome. You tell us. But how do you fucking, like, are you thinking of the rhyme before you say the original sentence?

Almost always. Almost always you have like your... It's like Mad Libs, right? And you have a bunch of blank syllables that you fit in and then you have a word that rhymes at the end. So almost immediately I'll think about my rhyming word and then I'll fill in the blanks. So you're thinking of one thing

while you're saying another. Yeah, it's sort of like how do I get to this end point, right? I should say that you're thinking of one thing while you're thinking saying another yeah it's sort of like how do i get to this end point right i should say that you're in freestyle love supreme which is like a freestyle rap improv group yes i've never seen them perform it's one of the most like impressive things they did a couple shows uh where we were at it's shockwave amazing who beatboxes who actually just has who we should talk about he launched a podcast on our network shock and awesome yeah so if you want to hear shockwave uh beatbox and interview and rap and hip-hop and all that good stuff and his first episode is with the goldie shack gorilla yeah so you know it's

goldie i know goldie's house real well uh and arson as well i was in that group when i was in new york wow just spouting uh political like whatever just yelling political stuff with no knowledge and i would just come and sing and be like that's the best way to yell oh man you can sing too a little bit so wait wait i i have so many things but first of all shock and awesome oh yeah shock and awesome podcast new podcast on the head gum network he's a great friend great friend nice. He's really good. Nice guy. Huge, big old regular-sized dick on that one. Oh, that's good. He has a regular-sized dick.

That's good to know. No, I think it's pretty big. He's sitting on a tripod. That guy gets a lot of... I heard that, too. And then, so you're part of this group. It's you. Lin-Manuel Miranda.

Who's doing his Hamilton and winning every award. Jackson, David Diggs, who's playing Jefferson and Lafayette on Hamilton. Tommy Kail, who's directing Hamilton as the director. Anthony Veneziale, Two Touch, who lives in San Francisco now with his wife and his two beautiful babies. So everyone has gone on to do amazing things. Yeah, yeah. It's incredible. He works for Google now.

He's doing good stuff. Bill Sherman, who's the Keys player. Arthur Lewis. It's like a collective. It's the collective of probably the most talented seven or eight people that i know they're just you guys are so fucking fast and good are there i think there are videos of it online if you yeah freestyle love supreme um we had a show on pivot yes that ran for 10 episodes that mixed uh some unscripted stuff with the live show which was pretty cool it's like improv which is already really hard and then also freestyling at the, which was pretty cool. It's like improv, which is already really hard,

and then also freestyling at the same time. It's so fun, man. It's like funny and also musically really, really fucking impressive. Because I was super split. Do we have time to get into this? Yeah, let's do it. I was super split because I started doing theater, and I've always been not like you guys,

but like comedy-oriented. Nothing even close to as amazing as you guys are. Seriously, you guys are the best. I feel like a douchebag talking about me being funny in front of you. But I was doing the funny stuff. But then when I really started getting into hip hop and freestyling in college, I started rapping at these open mics at clubs. And then I started doing rap battles.

Wow. And I was battling like if for the people that don't know if you've seen the movie eight mile it was legitimately just like that wow except it was like instead of the white kid it was like the skinny indian kid and everyone was like go get a slurpee and freaking arab taliban and i had to like figure that out this is where this is in new york okay And I did pretty well. I mean, I did very well. Yeah.

Okay. You don't have to be humble here. All right. No, I won. I won quite a bit. And then I got into this hip hop play called History of the Word, which was playing at Rutgers University at the Crossroads Theater.

And the producer of that knew the Freestyle Love Supreme guys. And Lin was going to do this other play called in the heights because he's a fucking genius he's officially a genius yeah he won an award that said he was a genius i love him i really do i really is a genius it's incredible yeah well the great thing about lynn is when like obama or michelle obama comes to see his show he is as excited as when his third grade science teacher comes yeah it's just the same amount of beautiful and he's done like videos for college humor he's like so into it and so invested like you care about this more than i do and you have so much

more important shit going on he he does he only does dope shit that's awesome um so they brought me into audition with these guys and i came into this machine that was already like well-oiled and like selling out houses and shows and it just i mean it took off i got an agent off of freestyle love supreme off of fucking rapping off of making i can't imagine seeing that show and being like uh that's all right i don't need to represent any of these guys so even pitch perfect the guy from who directed pitch perfect jason moore directed this show called Avenue Q on Broadway. And he called Tommy, who's the director of blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and Tommy co-signed me. So it's like, I mean, that has nothing to do with the actual show.

I'm just giving you guys the backstory. But the show itself is dope. It melds. This is what it is. When I came in, I was like, yo, I'm the best. I never settle for less. I get the biggest breasts. It's right. This is what it is. When I came in, I was like, yo, I'm the best. I never settle for less. I get the biggest breasts. That's right.

I smoke cess. All the girls want to digest my fucking nuts. And I grab on their butts. Yo, what's up? What's up? And Tommy was like, that's really cool. But we're not trying to dick swing here. We're trying to talk about yeast.

We're just trying to talk about three seconds of thought, yeast. We want to discuss Italian architecture or the history of Jean-Claude Van Damme. Right. So everyone has a specific niche that they fill. Right. They have an encyclopedic knowledge of a certain area of topics. So mine is like sports, music, comic book heroes.

Yeast. Yeast. You're the yeast expert. But like that, and he was like that, that's not interesting for us to like, to exalt ourselves. What we want to do is use our skills to like to look into the minute details of life and make them interesting which is very much about improv right it's like a tenant of improv i think yeah yeah from my ucv 201 training but yeah you did have to take some training just to like understand the comedic formulas and structure in the game so it's cool man it's fun

but the cool thing about you or for me is that your niche is sports. So I'm right there with you collecting basketball cards in 1993. So when you're rapping up there about Dan Marley and Mark Long and fucking Kevin Johnson and Charles Barkley, I'm extra into it because I'm seeing you. Who was your team? I was the Lakers guy. Lakers? Eldon Campbell? Yeah, dude. You know he scored more points was the Lakers guy. Lakers? Eldon Campbell?

Yeah, dude. You know he scored more points for the Lakers in the 90s than any other player? I did know that. Exactly. Do you do Sporkle trivia games? I do.

Are you on that Sporkle shit? Yo, are you on that Sporkle? No, you guys really do have to hang out. Dude, Sporkle is my jam. I'm like an unnoticed part of a threesome right now. You got the Clippers shirt on Did you guys try to finger UTK

And he's just like batting my hand away No, come here That's how it always works too It's like I'm trying to finger you and you're batting my hand away No, come here, come on You just feel, there's nothing worse than being pitied In a threesome Sad during a threesome

Can you imagine you're having a threesome and somebody says to you what's wrong how could anything be wrong you look glum but it's true I'm also I'm so in my head even when it's just one on one I can't imagine if I like if I sense that somebody's pitying me or looking down on me I just

feel like it's tough all my friends are there laughing at me in the room even though they're not yet. Yeah. You just got to be honest and be like, I need some attention. I need guys. I need some. I need a little bit.

What about little old me? Do you have time to answer one more question? You have to go. I fucking love Jake and Amir. When you guys. He's just saying this as he's shaking his head. He doesn't have time. The last episode, when you guys read your very first script

and you guys started tearing up. And then you were like, this is so dumb. But it wasn't dumb because it was so good. Oh, my God. I fucking felt. I felt. For the first time. Did you guys cry when you shot that?

No, but it was oddly emotional. It was the last thing we shot. That scene was the last thing we shot. I think that was a really cool thing our producer did. She shot them all in order, so we didn't have to bounce around. It wasn't that practical to shoot them all in order, but she made it work. And then we were also so busy shooting that last day that we didn't even check in and be like, this is crazy, we're shooting the last episodes, until it was that final shot.

And I was like, whoa, wait, this is the last shot. This is the last one right now. And you guys have been doing the show for like two years. Yeah, at the very least two, if not six more than that. Anyway, that was great. So yes, I have time. What's up? All right, here we go.

I just started seeing a new guy. Oh shit. It's a girl's name. It's a girl's name? Mm-hmm. Swanson. started seeing a new guy wait oh shit it's a girl's name it's a girl's name swanson yeast yeast yeast swanson yeast swanson yeasty swans i just started seeing this new guy the new guy is completely the opposite of my type while i tend to like tall skinny guys, I'm 5'9", I lean more towards bigger guys rather than skinny. This new guy is barely my height,

stupid skinny, especially next to my very curvy body. Though I never thought anything would come of this new relationship, I find myself unbelievably sexually and emotionally attracted to this new person we've gone on two dates and he's asked me to be his girlfriend already. Whoa. To which I have said I needed more time to figure out smart i haven't said i haven't had sex with this new guy yet

and i feel reluctant because i've convinced myself there's a chance he would reject me i know you guys make that big old butt i know you guys which is great by the way okay go ahead i know you guys would make jokes about guys having sex with whoever and whatever, but do you think there's... I wasn't there for that. But do you think there's a chance of being rejected once the new guy sees me naked? Oh, yeast. I just want to have UTK...

You never even have to be on the podcast. Just interject. Yeah, just to be there while you read the questions. Oh, yeah. Calm down. Yeah, like the background of a rap track. Big old booty. Yeast, what do you think?

I think once a guy is attracted to you enough to ask you to be your girlfriend, that's a whole separate weird issue that he asked you that that early. There's no chance he's going to see or be surprised when you're naked. When you're naked, that's the best part. If you're down with somebody clothed, naked is like 10 times better. You never see someone naked and they're like, oh, that reversed everything that I already thought.

He knows that you have curves. He can see that. So when you take off your clothes and he can really see the curves, I think he'll lose his mind. I think he'll lose his nut. I'm pretty sure that this this tiny little skinny man likes the curves yeah like yeah you're you're good uh we're all slender gentlemen yeah

and i i really dig curves man yeah you like them skinny no no no i like i like i like stuff that i don't have yeah i like boobies and i like curvings and I like vajays. Me too. Because these are things that I can't look down and see. I mean, I'm starting to be able to see some boobies. Your titties are too small still. Yeah, my tits are too small for myself. I would say that the thing that she needs to focus on is this,

will you be my girlfriend? Yeah. How old is Yeast? Yeast, hey! Yeast! God, I don't know if she actually said sounds like high school wait wait 20 oh 20 okay so this seems like a really nice guy then yeah who's like be my girlfriend after two dates he seems like the dad from back to the future i just saw back to the future recently but he's just like uh will you be my girlfriend you know like that

kind of like awkward nervous skinny guy the bad guy from charlie's angels oh crispin glover that's who you're talking about yeah yeah yeah crispin you know crispin that's who took me to the laker game crispy keep it crispin oh man i saw him recently at the playboy mansion for the midsummer nights party that they had what how do you go to the can we this guy lamorne from new girl oh name drop yeah i just shit in my own mouth fuck that's disgusting uh hi lamorne call me call me back i got that great movie idea we were talking about haven't heard back from you um uh we were crispin glover was there in this like purple velvet suit and everything so gangster he looks like he's like our age really and he's probably he's got to be 40 or 50 at this point yeah because

he was old in back to the future which is 1985 yeah 30 years ago he is just so he's probably wasn't he like 30 in 30 30 years ago isn't he yeah he might be but he looks like he's 25 wow but are you sure you saw Crispin Glover? It was him. It was definitely him. I think that this guy wants to be her boyfriend. And then that's weird. Yeah.

At 20 though. But when you were 20, were you saying, because I might have been the kind of guy that was after two dates, like, do you want to date? I don't even remember what I was like. Because I was so worried about like her not liking me. When I was 20, I had crushes for three years. So I'm like, I'm ready for what we have to have together because I've been thinking about this person for that long without doing anything.

I would kiss a girl. I would ask girls to be my girlfriend before we even went on a date at all. Because it's like, I don't know, it's super romantic. And I don't think she has to say, yes, I'll be your girlfriend. But it's like, hey, I want you to be my girlfriend. And she's like i don't know it's it's super romantic and obviously i don't think she has to say like yes i'll be your girlfriend but it's like hey i want you to be my girlfriend and she's like i like that and then she didn't date him she doesn't have to say yes yeah she can be like we can take a little bit more time when i was 20 or like 19 20 i would like kiss a girl

make like a double lp mixtape wow like two Like two. One of like heartfelt, one of fun. I would give them that shit handwritten with the playlist and everything and then wonder why they'd get freaked out and be like, I'm not going to be able to do it. Because they played it backwards and it was a death threat. Yeah, right? It was like, I'm needy. Will you be with me? I think that if she's a big girl girl she just should make sure as all men

and women should do just make sure you're groomed and everything's looking good oh take a you know i know that for myself i gotta i'm an indian i got hair in other regions sure papa gotta take a little clippers to the to it speaking of clippers carefully yeah um because stuff can go wrong stuff can go awry yeah stuff can go awry that's the only thing i would be worried about unless he's into hairy girls and this is not even to say that yeast is hairy no but i'm sorry that we're calling worried about our curves and you're worried about our hair yeah this is me this is my project she's worried about her curves and you're worried about her hair. Yeah, this is me. This is my issue.

This is my issue I'm projecting. You're going to do fine. Sorry we called you yeast. I think that's true. Yeah, you're going to be fine. He's not going to backtrack. Hell no. If he wants to, I mean, clearly, I think she just needs to,

she's got to stand naked in front of a mirror and be like, my body's dope and I'm going to go blow this guy's fucking mind. And you will. Because his thin little dick is gonna be it's it's gonna go on a little adventure don't listen to him this guy's he's got a huge dick yeah just wait for it the skinnier you are the bigger you've got a regular shockwave but if it's over three and a half inches it's gigantic just so you know that's above average it's hidden in all of this it's gigantic, just so you know. That's above average. It's hidden in all of his hair. It's 90th percentile, as they call it. It's really big.

UTK. Yeah. Thanks for coming on the show. On that? Yeah, dude. Okay. That was perfect. I just want to say, guys, that it's been such an honor.

It's been a thrill ride for us. To be hanging out with my heroes. We should legit hang. I'm legit going to go home and watch every single episode of Jake and Amir after this. I'm going to. I got the afternoon free. When you're done in three weeks, we should legit hang i'm legit gonna go home and watch every single episode of jake and amir after this i'm going to i got the afternoon free when you're done in three weeks we should hang out i would love to really i'm gonna hold you to it yeah because we're both we'll take a picture because and then hold ourselves accountable what are you doing this weekend we're trying to go out we're gonna go out on friday i'm going to texas that's awesome dude we'll be there yeah

let's come austin city limits oh shit you're doing are you doing are you experiencing i'm experiencing oh austin's awesome yeah it's gonna be really there. Yeah, let's come. Austin City Limits. Oh, shit. You're doing, are you doing or are you experiencing? I'm experiencing. Oh, Austin's awesome. Yeah, it's going to be really good. It's going to be dope. We should maybe go. All right. Let's think about it.

You guys are, by the way, these guys do their podcast out of a fucking mansion. They're super wealthy. There's lots of room for a threesome in here. Ladies, somebody please. Amir, he's so hot. Look at him. Do you want to plug anything? Just you having a threesome.

What can I plug? Do you have an Instagram or Twitter or a show or a movie or a thing people should watch? At UTK the INC. UTK, T-H-E, I-N-C on Twitter and Instagram. I'm going to be in Ride Along 2 in January. That's awesome. Barbershop 3 is coming out next year. Other than that.

You're in all the sequels and threequels. I got some music coming out that I'll let people know about. I'm singing with my guitar. Really? Yeah, no rap. Is that true? It's all singing.

Holy shit. You want to hear a little bit of it right now? Yeah, how do we do that? I can just play it through my phone on the mic. Oh, really? Is that weird? No, let's do it. We won't have an ending song now.

We'll just use this one to play this out. I haven't played this for anyone. Holy shit. This is a world premiere. Can I whisper LA Leakers throughout it so it's like an audio watermark? Yeah, do it. First, I got to find it. Oh, that's great.

It's not good. No, I'm joking. I'm really proud of it. I'm it look are you sure you want to play it all right does this show should we go out this way yeah this is it this is the end thanks for listening everybody uh if you have your own questions your own theme songs your own facebook thumbnail submission send it all to if i were you show at gmail.com utk thanks for coming on the show we'll be back next week let's hear one of utk's jams what's what's the name of it it's called bang bang bang bang thanks for being here, Jake. On our way out.

There you got it, man. Here we go. Threesome. A mere threesome. Seriously, somebody give Amir a threesome. Oh, oh, oh.

Cool. That was a HeadGum Podcast.