Segments - 189: Silver Lining

Episode Date: December 20, 2015

In this episode we discuss losing your virginity, breaking up, and our TV pilot. This episode is brought to you by MeUndies, Leesa, and ClubW! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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and save extra when you bundle. Hello, if you're listening to this podcast before September 27th, 2024, we're doing a live show in Philadelphia. You can still buy tickets at headgum.com slash live. Hope to see you there. Nice. Try one more where it's clear that I'm like the star.

There's a reason I didn't have you say anything. Yeah. Because you're nervous. You're skittish. You're stuttering right now. I'm a little frightened. So I don't want you in this ad at all. I don't want to be steamrolled, but I want the live live.

So no, I won't be recording one. In fact, for you asking that, I'm going to keep this part in. Don't. This part is now the ad. Edit this part out. But let's do one clean ad. No. You will edit this part't this part is now edit this part out but let's do one clean ad no you will edit this part out you will absolutely edit this part out tell you what i'm gonna say my fucking social security number so you have to edit it out okay let's hear it oh nine one three six six two yeah now you have to edit it in But we'll see you guys there. No, no, no, no, no. Just have your advice You see I'm in a sticky situation

And I've got no where to go And while I'm sitting here confused Your observations are sometimes crude But I got myself here in the first place And now I'm laughing with you I will download your podcast show And trust my real name won't be known. Real emails, real advice, real things can live.

If I were you. If I were you. If I were you. If I were you. Show at gmail.com. Best intro song ever? You know, it's actually based on a real song. Really?

It's based on one of my favorite songs. Hey Jealousy. Love it. By the Gin Blossoms. Yeah, dude. If we could get one more, I'd really like it. What's the other Gin Blossoms song? I don't't know whispers at the bus stop oh yeah i heard about nut found out about you yeah wow can you do that one too dude who is this guy this guy's name is uh i don't know it just came from somebody named stop the rock and he says you and your listeners can feel free to add me on Steam. Of course.

And his name is iFilthyCasual on Steam. What is Steam? I think it's a video game thing. All right. Dude, can you do it? I love this. I love this song so much. I didn't know the Gin Blossoms were so good that they had two good songs.

They have three. There's the other one, too. Anywhere you go, i'll follow you down jeez they're great yeah great great band um our pilot wasn't picked up wow yeah you're gonna tell me like that uh our our just drop the news not even a build-. Not even like, hey, you guys, so we found out about the pilot. Right. Just, okay. Yeah.

Your parents are dead. We had to tear the Band-Aid. Yeah. That's true. Where do we start? So what is this? It's an advice show. Just glossing right over it.

Well, first of all, we should say that we're not joking. Yeah. No, that's true. Our pilot was not picked up by true tv they decided uh not to pick up the pilot that we made yeah we shot it in august and i guess just to backtrack a little bit you write a script they say great we shoot it they said true tv told us to shoot it we shot it it was an amazing experience yeah we edited it took a month a month to put it together. We made an episode that we were very proud of that we thought looked great. And then for reasons, you know, I guess it's a TV,

TV is a business. And they thought they wouldn't make money on our TV show. Well, who's to say, you know, what goes into the decision? That's, you know, that's left to us to wonder forever. Sure. It's one, their opinion on the show. Two, how focus group testing does.

They show it to random people and gauge their results. Maybe like, who knows what's going on inside the offices of TruTV, like what their budgetary constraints are and what kind of shows

they're looking for and what's happening in the marketplace of every other network. You know, like a million things. But all that we could say is fuck them no whoa whoa i'm just kidding uh well what how did you feel when you first we've here's the thing we found out two months ago but we weren't supposed to tell anybody i think the worst part was probably just like talking to people like fans over the last two months be like when, when are we going to hear about the TV show? We're like doing interviews with like random student newspapers.

Yeah. Like, what about the TV show? Like, hey, fingers are crossed. Like the entire time I knew that we were. Yeah. And they're like, duh, it's definitely going to knew that it was not moving forward uh it's it felt so like we're all so optimistic and positive when we shot it and then we put it together and then showed it to some people and everyone was like so i had no i didn't even have a space in my brain for the fact that it wouldn't get picked up yeah i do i just remember being on set like everybody like the hair and makeup people the gaffers there was like we just have such a good feeling about the show like you guys are definitely gonna get picked up yeah bring me back like we're this is the team this is a it felt like a it felt like summer camp we just i mean like even our showrunners were like it never goes this

smoothly you know it like never it's never this much fun yeah it was like everybody's favorite experience uh on a set and it was our first time so it's like a dream come true not to mention the cast we were just getting very close with like the other people in the show yeah i mean rick fox is on the set of our pilot i had my 30th birthday that week right it's like everything was just like going like this is going so great it was lovely alan havey who was on mad men uh betsy sedaro super funny just like an incredible cast of people uh it's funny i thought i was over it now we're just talking about i'm getting sad again yeah no it's really sad and then we it's i equated to like just sprinting and having fun like jogging having a great time and then when we found out that they were like,

no, I was like, it like, I hit a wall and you didn't see it. Like I hit a pole. And I was like, yeah, it was almost like going on.

I feel like it felt like going on vacation or something. And being like, that was amazing. Like now we just take some time off and Hey, we're all going to be back here again. We'll like do this with each other. And then instead of like going on a second vacation they're like all your friends are dead what are you talking about they're dead we had so much fun together yeah everyone liked it

i had i thought it was good i thought it was great and we have we have all these fans that would love to watch it why don't you want to put it on? Yeah, that's the other, that's almost like the second layer of sadness, which is, this is such a depressing beginning of the podcast. We're like, I was sad for myself when we found out because it was like such a fun experience and I wanted to keep on writing it. But like to disappoint all of our fans and be like,

this, now Jake and Amir is actually over. There's no more, there's no more there's no more jake and amir ever that's correct the end of the end of that chapter uh and because ending it for college humor was bittersweet but we're like well we still have the pilot so there's these characters are not gone there's a glimmer of hope right uh and now that now the hope is dashed and then like you said it's sad to tell your friends. Because everybody was always asking, hey, are you going to find out soon? You think you're going to find out?

Yeah, you know, we know. We're optimistic. We're positive. Everyone's saying good things. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, mommy, daddy, they said no to us. Yeah, telling my parents was really hard. I think it was harder to tell my family than friends. Because all of our friends are sort of in this industry yeah they know

what it means to like oh you guys like you guys shot your pilot and like you know you're gonna move on to the next project it's all gonna be fine but like my family they're like this is your tv show and if it doesn't go then you fail and you have to move home or something right they're like wait so what now like they didn't like it it wasn wasn't good? It's like, no, it was good. It was just that there was also other factors and sometimes... Oh, geez, I'm sorry. Oh, what are you going to do? Now you're like, screwed, huh? No, we'll still go. We'll get meetings and we'll write and we have a pod... That was the other thing. Oh, what are you going to do? Oh, we're focused on the podcast. No matter how popular a podcast you have,

it's not a good sentence to say, I'm just focused on my podcast right now. Yeah. And we also, I also feel, I hope that our fans aren't, I mean, I guess I understand that they'll be disappointed. I just don't want them to be upset

or feel like we shortchange them. We do appreciate like, the only reason we got this far or one of the main reasons we got this far is because of our built in fan base. Yeah. Well, that's this. That's our show is on a very interesting trajectory because I don't even know how much we like told people like it moved to true TV. But that's because it actually died at TBS. Like the whole green light, Jake and Amir hashtag.

Yeah. TBS didn't necessarily pay attention to that as much as we wanted them to. Right. I mean, they definitely registered, but they, like, it didn't help us. And then, but what did help? No, it did help us, but not in this. All right, so TBS passed on our script. Yeah. And then when that happens, usually that's it for everybody but because of

the green light jake and the amir movement that was what true tv like responded to and they were like these guys have this built-in fan base right we're gonna give them a shot so the only reason we got to film our pilot is because of the fans right so you guys took us so far and we were hoping to be able to, you know, once we're on the one-yard line, we're like, You threw us the alley-oop, and we smashed it against the rim. We got this. I'm a goal line back, and we were stuffed three times and then missed a field goal.

And we're like, oh, shit. Sorry about that. It's like when a kicker misses a last-second field goal, and he walks around and looks at all the real football players like, ah, fellas, you know how it goes. We'll get them next time he's like yeah i'm actually a fucking superstar athlete i made some pretty insane catches you're five foot nine 130 pounds and you missed a lot of pressure on the kicker it's a lot of pressure yeah guys there's a lot of pressure on us and we did do our best job and we did we are proud of what we wrote and we are proud

of what we shot and we think it looks really good and we're still really happy with it uh unfortunately as uh as it goes sometimes some of the funniest people and some of the funniest pilots don't end up going because of there's so many like outside factors this is me talking to myself late at night after i was like bummed and depressed about it's It's like, it's okay. My friend wrote me an email. He's like, listen, every like buddy that you like in Hollywood, all the funniest people like Tina Fey and all these people, Amy Poehler,

all had pilots that didn't go. Like that's how it works. You don't shoot one shot and you're like, well, that's my career. I missed one shot. It's like, yeah, you write a script and that doesn't go. Then you write and they shoot a pile and that doesn't go. You do that two or three times and then one does happen. And then you can either even have a show on TV that nobody watches. Some people have shows for a season and then they go away and you're like, what happened? You're like, oh, my show was on TV. And they're like, I don't really remember

that. And you can have shows that are like super popular. Like Steve Levitan had Modern Families, like the number one show, and he pitched another show, went to pilot, and that didn't get picked up. You wouldn't pick up a Steve Levitan show? Yeah, he's already proven himself, sir. He has the best show on TV. But that's sort of the business that we've chosen for ourselves. It's hard, but you know what would be harder is doing literally any other occupation.

Yeah, like being a teacher. Yeah, that would be really difficult. Right? You don't have to deal with the stresses of having shows being picked up and not decisions being made out of your control. But you do have to teach children for nine months out of the year. Every day. Seven.

Yeah, that's really hard, too. Lesson plans and stuff. Being a doctor, stakes are pretty high there. So, silver linings. One. Being a doctor, stakes are pretty high there. So, silver linings. One, well, this is, like we said, we found out several months ago. So, we've been through all the stages of grief. First, we were shocked. Then we were mad.

And we're like, wait, why didn't True pick up our show? Our show was so good. Our web series got more views than their TV shows. And then I was like, you know what? True TV gave us the opportunity to begin with. So I can't be mad at somebody giving me a shot and then it didn't happen. And then I'd be like, how dare you guys not give us two shots?

Yeah. It's still the, how dare they? Yeah, absolutely. And silver linings. One, whenever stuff like this happens,

I like to imagine like three years from now being like, oh my God, that was actually the best thing that ever happened to us because that allowed us to do X, Y, and Z. Right. It's hard to think about X, Y, and Z right now because it hasn't happened yet. Because, yeah, we're still on W.

Yeah, we're still on W, X, Y, and Z. So W didn't go. But then I want to hopefully get to a place where it's like, okay, now that we have free time, now that what have we learned, now we have free resources and effort at our disposal, let's create more. Let's see what we can do after Jake and Amir. That was eight, nine, ten years of our lives. We learned a ton. Now maybe we can start doing something else. Maybe if Jake and Amir didn't exist, or I shouldn't say that, but with Jake and Amir in our rearview mirror, what can we create that's new

based on what we've learned so far? This is us, like like bombing a pitch. So anyways, it's two cactuses and it's stop motion. And one's a doofus, the other is sarcastic. And we do have ideas. We have a lot of things percolating that we are excited about. Yeah, I mean, even when we were making Jake and Amir, we were still like developing other ideas.

And Jake and Amir just always had first position because it had been uh like on the docket the longest yeah like we had been meeting with these networks and stuff about it but there were there were always other ideas and now we have the time to put you know energy effort and resources to creating other ideas so hopefully you guys hear more about those soon um and i don't know uh we still love the internet and like tv is really fun because when you get a tv show it still has a lot of clout like oh i'm on television yeah but the internet still excites us because one we have like complete control over like what we make like our podcast gets listened to more than some TV shows. Right.

But for whatever. We don't have to give it to anybody for notes. Right. Notes are fun, but difficult at the same time. But it does kind of feel like for eight years, we were pushing a rock up a hill. And then at the last second, we let go, and it fell all the way back down.

We're like, shit, goddam damn it it took us so long to create that and now it's at the bottom of a fucking hill yeah but hopefully it's more like the rock fell forward down a hill so it didn't go all the way back we got it to the top of the i feel like we got it to the top of the hill and then we pushed it down like we let it go to see where it would end up. And then it fell into the ocean and sunk to the bottom. And we were like, oh, that's not coming back. But you know what? We trusted the universe.

And the rock didn't necessarily fall into, I don't know where the rock was ideally going to go. And why you really push a rock up a hill to begin with. Of course. It was more of a metaphor than anything else but like is there what was sisyphus ever like why do i have to well that's i guess and we're talking philosophically about why do we do anything um at the end of the day it's just money yeah cash absolutely we want cash for that. And change is God. Mercy. Oh, my God. You're crying. I'm dying, which is like crying, but even worse, if you can imagine.

So that's the sort of full story. Frequently asked questions. Can we see the pilot? Another sad answer. It appears as if since True paid for it, they own it, so we can't release it. Yeah, we've asked we made this show for them and they took it and they can do with it whatever they wish it'd be cool if they released it

we can ask again but it's not necessarily up to us but like a lover that's been broken up with I feel like the only way to truly get over it is to sink our teeth into something new. Yes.

Which is why we got the podcast network. Right. We've got... Oh, shit. Fuck my ass. And that's the goal right now is to create other stuff, to occupy our creative talents and abilities. I think we've still got the same sensibilities. We still find each other funny. I don't want to think we're still we still got the same sensibilities we're

still we still find each other funny i don't want to say we're still funny i'm still funny to me like the saddest thing to say into the mirror i'm actually still funny uh and what was i gonna say oh right um another silver lining is that god damn it it was just in my brain what were you saying we're still funny yeah that's true not we're still funny we're still funny we have the same sensibilities we don't we're going to create something yeah create something here but not jake oh yeah another silver lining is the fact that i really like the way the Jake and Amir web series ended. So the fact that there's no TV show, it gives it a clean and definite ending. Whereas like if that was the ending of the web series, and then there was also like a TV show that lasted eight episodes, it would have been kind of murky. Yeah, that's true. So I like, like, Jake and Amir is now a self-contained online volume, which is sort of how it started. And then I feel like it's an appropriate ending for it.

Yeah, I think it's a beautiful thing. Yeah, rather than, like, having it go on to do some other kind of mediums. I feel like it is. Like, say, by the bell, the college years. Yeah. Just had Zach and Screech. Or like the Entourage movie. Right.

Yeah. Well, that was dope. Well, yeah, obviously, the Entourage movie. Turtle is, like, rich. He's so rich. But now it's about, like, if that was our office, what's our extras? What's next? And that's what we're most excited about.

Yeah, exactly. I mean, most people's favorite comedians don't just do one thing forever and that's it hopefully yeah we can do what is what's our curb your enthusiasm yeah larry david made a great show and then you're comparing that's right we're comparing jake and amira to seinfeld yeah in terms of ourselves to larry david in terms of it being good and internationally renowned but it's yeah, you know, what's now? If Jake and Amir was our 20s, we're excited about what our 30s. And this podcast is actually giving us a ton of ideas just because I feel like we're constantly raking in psyches

of 15 to 35-year-olds and their biggest insecurities and their biggest questions and their biggest insecurities and their biggest questions and their biggest concerns. These emails are just like a case study on millennials in general. Right. So it's definitely, it's giving us a lot of fodder. For sure. Yeah.

And that's what I'm most excited about is turning our new time to create something like Jake and Amir, but completely different. And I might be a carpenter's apprentice. What's that? I've always been interested in woodworking and comedy's not panning out. So I might be into like building porches and gondolas. Gondolas? Yeah, dude.

So you're talking about like a wooden floor or like a giant cable car yeah a gondola a porch a gazebo just some sort of those three makes sense but the gondola feels so like a marvel of modern technology is the same thing as a gazebo in my head i see so in your mind a gondola was just a wooden little church birdhouse. This is why I need a fucking apprenticeship, dude. So I can learn. I can probably help you out, at least with the definitions part. A gondola, yeah, is not what I want to make, right? Sir, just to start things out, I used to do comedy.

A gondola is not what I want to make. And just know that i'm interested in woodworking can i see your saw man um geez louise all right you want to answer a question should we take a break like that that'll cleanse us yeah let's take a nice little break it's a little early but we'll take a break thank a few more people we'll come back we'll answer some real fucking questions yeah dude and honestly you guys don't give up on us because like this is when we need you the most like christ holy shit everyone's leaving it's so weird now i have it's it we have processed it now i have to fucking rethink about the dumbass pilot well well for the listeners

and our fans uh this is the first time they're hearing about it. Remember how we felt for the first half hour, just like dazed. Like we were confused and sad and angry. It's such a weird feeling. Just be like, they didn't pick it up. What are you talking about? All those calls all day. worked so hard for years on this thing why would they not give us a chance to make it was it not good to them did they not like it is it not good did we just lie to ourselves i think it was good but then again every time someone makes a pilot whether it's good or bad everyone says this is good yeah yeah and everyone's quote-unquote optimistic because that's what you have to be you have to be happy and positive maybe in a couple years, we'll meet some true TV executives at some event and we'll all be drunk and we'll be successful with something else.

Right. And we'll be like, so tell us the truth about Jake and Amir. Obviously, it doesn't matter now. We've got the number one show on NBC. Friends too. Yeah. Let's take a break yeah we'll be right back

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Yes. I think we threw a pity party and the party is over. Yeah. I think so. Guys, get over it. We'll still do shit. This isn't the end of me and Jake. It's just the end of our web series with the same exact name.

It's so funny if we ended the podcast today, too. Yeah. Oh, this is... Oh, shit. We should have mentioned that earlier, too. This is the last podcast as too. Yeah. Oh, this is. Oh, shit. We should have. We should have mentioned that earlier, too. This is the last podcast as well. Yeah. The numbers just aren't really.

Just kidding. We now have more time to dedicate to this podcast more than ever. Expect bigger things coming and head gum to grow. And we can we can sink our teeth into that whole thing. Creating videos and more podcasts and more shows and more episodes. Yes, dude. What about giving the names of these people? Oh, how about the names and addresses of true TV executives?

Oh, okay. So for... I was going to say the names of people that helped us create the show. That's a nice idea. Yeah. So, for example... Ed Helms. Ed Helms.

Executive producer. Could not have done this without him. Got this far because of him. so for example Ed Helms executive producer could not have done this without him got this far because of him the godfather folks lended his invaluable insight and wisdom throughout the whole process Ed Helms writes hey guys love the show and I'm running in for a third time

I'm a 19 year old sophomore in college and I'm a virgin I'm not the most social guy but I have also never had an issue having conversations with girls. I just re-listened to episode 95 in which you answered a question about a girl who was a virgin and was wondering if she should tell a guy she's about to have sex with that she's a virgin. I have the same question, but for a guy. If I'm in a situation where I'm about to have sex, should I tell the girl that I'm a virgin? And if not, and I ejaculate too soon, how do I remedy the situation? Sorry for

the long email, and I hope you guys can get to it. Wasn't a long email, but love, Ed Helms. So, first of all, I wonder what kind of advice we gave the girl. I think if I remember correctly, i don't remember would you say tell somebody or not my guess well it's funny because the way i feel right now i mean it's i always just say whatever i'm thinking like in the moment like i don't know if i like but i i i don't think you have to tell anybody right uh so i'd imagine that i said that to the girl you just especially do you think it's any different for a guy or girl? No, I don't.

I don't think there's. But with a girl, I think there was a little bit of a difference because there's the hymen breaking and the bleeding and all that issue. Well, that's actually not necessarily true. Oh, it's not? Well, some, I mean, like your hymen can break pretty easily before you lose your virginity. But what if it doesn't? And then you have it, and then there's lots of blood, and then it's like, oh, the tell, the proof is in the red pudding. Is it okay that I call a hymen breaking, or really any female menstruation, red pudding?

It's okay with me, but I think it should... That's fine. That's all I need to. All I want to know is that if it's okay with me, but I think it should. That's fine. That's all I need to. Definitely. All I want to know is that if it's okay with you. I mean, as long as you're comfortable knowing it might not be okay with lots of other people. Yesterday I got into mother's red pudding. That's fine, actually.

I really like that. It's curdled. I think that you, it's not that big of a deal to lose your virginity I wish your hands weren't down your pants right now while you were talking about this you're squeezing your dick while you answer this question you're just talking about it I'm actually not squeezing my dick it's my balls

you're squeezing your balls as if like it's some sort of weird like fortune telling thing you're like actually let me see what I should do I don't know what I said last time I'm gonna squeeze my balls open my, and then the answer will come out. My balls. As recorded audio. I think you don't have to tell anybody.

Do not. I would probably not. I would probably not. If you're worried about coming too early and seeming really inexperienced and have and having somebody be like wow you don't know what you're doing you could one say like well that was my first time and you know people usually uh i feel like if you had sex with somebody and said that was your first time afterwards they might make a little bit of a big deal about it so would you lie and be like uh no i've had sex once before yeah maybe i would just be like i haven't done this a lot you know yeah like uh zero right well i probably won't get into

it that much but yeah um maybe you're saying like oh when i was like a couple years ago like when i was in high school my high school girlfriend or whatever but i'd probably lie about that yeah also if you come too early if that's your only concern then i think you can always at least once or twice uh smooth over coming too early by saying like you just turned me on so much i'm sorry yeah and like usually if you are so excited that you come early like and you're also 19 you could probably fuck a couple more times like your dick's gonna get hard again pretty quick right and that second and third time you'll be lasting much much much longer yeah so just like you're good yeah it's coming too early is not like a virgin thing so you don't have to be like

whoa oh my god i'm a virgin sorry i've been outed right i'm 30 and i still come yeah yeah and you're not are you a virgin though uh well i my high school girlfriend why don't you check out my hymen dude whoa that's awesome dude red pudding bro i love it jesus christ uh so you would say you don't have to tell anybody you're a virgin i would agree with that and then ejaculate too soon remedy the situation you turn me on oh my god i can't believe how quickly that happened god i couldn't fucking contain myself i think people always, even though it's not necessarily satisfying to somebody else, if you say I came too early because I'm so attracted to you,

no one could really be mad. That's better than not being able to come at all. Yeah, because then somebody's like, whoa, what's wrong with me? Yeah, and it's like, nothing's wrong with you. If anything, it's too good, too fast, too soon. So it's new, but it's exciting. And when it happens, you're going to fucking love it, dude.

Yeah, baby. Can't wait for Ed Helms to lose his virginity. Yeah, man. All right. Do we have a lady's name? Marcy Patterson. Marcy, our line producer, first hire of the Jake and Amir TV show She was queen

Assembled an amazing team Helped us create the show Hardest working person on the entire set probably Dealing with logistics that we couldn't even begin to understand Rights I found out my boyfriend and his friends Send each other dirty pictures of girls They find on social media

And they all talk about how hot they are And how they want to bang these girls They also tell social media, and they all talk about how hot they are and how they want to bang these girls. They also tell each other every time they see some girl that they want to have sex with. Like when he was recently in Vegas, he was telling them about all the girls out there that he was seeing and wanted. My question is, is this normal or acceptable? It makes me very uncomfortable that one, he's talking about other girls sexually, and two, he's talking about girls in a degrading way. I know guys all look at other girls, but where should we draw the line? I've tried talking to him about it, but all he says is,

we're guys, we're going to act like guys. One more point is, he hasn't been completely faithful in the past. Can you help a girl out? Keep seasoning that cheese marcy patterson interesting i feel like i was on this guy's side all the way up until the fact that he cheated on her yeah like if you're i am totally cool with like you being like you know sure being attracted to other people uh letting your boys know like oh that girl's hot you know that kind of thing but then like and it's weird that he's telling his girlfriend anything yeah how does she

find out like that's i think that's the weirder part to this whole thing there's always guys are sort of scumballs like nobody would like the guys nobody would like me if they saw me hanging out with just two guy friends that I really, really like. We all like, we bring out the worst in each other. But like, that's not us 100% of the time. It's just when you're with a bunch of other guys. Everybody like, we ramp it up. You sink and you sink and you sink and you sink. And I think the weird thing is that you,

I would never tell a girlfriend of mine like everything that my guy friends talked about. That's, well, now we're giving the advice to the guy. We keep these things separate. Well, I mean, yeah, we think it's strange. She said, is it weird? We think it's weird that he's telling you, especially given the fact that he's cheated on you.

Like, hey, guys are going to be guys. We're going to talk about the girls that we want to fuck. Also, I did fuck. But that was a mistake. And the rest of the time is just me chatting about it yeah i'll set pictures of girls that we wish we could fuck on social media etc etc one time it cheated on you why are you making a big deal about this oh mercy so i would say where do you draw the line uh i would say you can draw the line at actually acting on his sexual impulses.

Yeah. And I mean, I think you should tell him to stop talking to you about some of this stuff. Like if he's telling you that he was telling his friends about girls that he wanted to have sex with and that he saw in Vegas. Like, hey, don't share some of this stuff with me. But if you want to like fuck with him, though, you should start doing the same exact thing. Yeah, because this guy sounds like he's just a little bit of a tool bag. So I don't want this to be like dudes can talk about this stuff,

but chicks can't. I think guys should talk about this stuff with other guys, and girls should talk about fucking other guys with other girls. But the part where this guy's being a tool bag is by telling his girlfriend that he's talking about this stuff or maybe she found out i don't know how else can you find out but like she should tell him that she's talking about guys that she wants to fuck with her girlfriends and then i feel like he'll be like okay i i actually dislike that yeah and then And then at the very least, he will stop sharing with you

that he's talking about that stuff with the guys. It's just things that you don't bring into a relationship. It's kind of who you're attracted to. It's hard to tell a guy to change his ways when he's with other guys. That's like a difficult predicament to put somebody in. This is just like an ignorance is bliss type thing. You're like, fine, do your thing with your guy friends.

Don't cheat on me and don't tell me about the girls that you want to hook up with. I don't want to know that. Everything else is kosh. Yeah, so like if you want to go and tell your guy friends what girls are hot, that's fine, but just don't tell me that you're doing it and then also you cheated on me so i think she should probably break up with him

for that it is weird because i don't want to be like this guy i don't know i feel like i'm stuck between like i don't want to tell this girl to just fucking relax but at the same time like guys sending pictures of girls that they find on social media and saying how hot they are and how they want to bang them like is it is this is that okay for a guy to do i don't think there's like anything wrong with it necessarily i don't know exactly the pictures that they're sending to each other and all that but yeah i think it's pretty normal behavior for boys and girls to like talk about members of the you know or opposite sex or same sex yeah totally i can't yeah i can't stress how much we're gay friendly 420 friendly cat friendly dog friendly but i think like all that is normal like you know telling your friends who

you want to fuck the part that really grinds my gears is that they're having these conversations with each other. Boyfriend and girlfriend should not necessarily talk about this. Right. Unless they're in some sort of open relationship where they're, like, down for it. All right. There you have it.

So we don't have to tell her to relax, but we should probably... I feel like I wanted to tell the dude to, like, yo, quit narking. You know this he's he's got loose lips that's what i'm saying and loose lisps think ships that was just a tweet i had once it's not just about the rejection of the pilot it's just like there's a there's an undertone of like when i tell people they're like oh you failed it wasn't funny enough it wasn't good enough and i'm sorry to hear that do you feel like people think that whether they don't think it consciously it has to be part of it like listen

we made this project we made this item we made this thing and it wasn't deemed good enough see and they're like so you're not good enough in some way. I don't ever feel that. The thing that bothers me is when I tell people, and then I can instantly feel them trying to cheer me up. And I just want to be like, I don't need to be cheered up. I got it. Which makes you seem even sadder.

Well, I would never say that. But yeah, that's like, so I say, no, it didn't happen. And they're like, oh like oh man i'm so sorry well like this this and this i'm like look i know i and i just you know i go along with it but in my head i'm like i already it's i've had this in my head for like months like i've all these things that you're reassuring me i've reassured myself and like they could never understand like all the tiny little things in my life that like i don't know that make up the big mosaic of who I am. Yeah.

And I just, I just don't want to give anybody that like level of intimacy in any one moment. I just want to be like the pilot didn't get picked up. I'm fine with it. Let's talk about something else. Yeah. But it doesn't happen.

All right. All right. All right. Another question. Another question. Let me look for, let me look for a good one, actually. It's a nice idea. All right.

Another lady's name. Another lady who helped on our pilot. Ashley Rubin. Oh, hell yeah. Ashley was our post-production coordinator. And she specifically writes, or at least someone we're calling Ashley Rubin writes, So I met this guy on a Halloween bar crawl.

He was a friend of a friend's boyfriend, and through the night we made out in different places, and, you know, had a good time. Hand jobs were made. We exchanged Snapchats and kisses goodbye. And for the entire week, we chatted every day. We meet up for a beer on Friday night the week after. We had a good time. He laughed. I laughed. We ended the night with a passionate French kiss. We snapped every day for the next

week as well. Saturday that next week, we meet up for a coffee. He told me a bunch of deep shit about his friends who went through some drug problems and all. Through that coffee date, we held hands, kissed, had a good time, kissed some fries. The night ended up at my place. We stayed up all night talking. We slept with arms and legs around each other. We snapped for the entire week after that. 10,000 words. Meet up on a Saturday. This time my friends are there and his friends are there. Fun night. Night ended up with me going home with

him and his friends to his friend's apartment. We had some more beers, made some more jokes, danced a little. He followed me to the subway and we kissed goodbye. Snapped. Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Tuesday, Friday, but not Saturday. And now for the last two days, I was the one who sends the first snap. I was the one making the jokes. It felt like he was getting distant. So I thought if he wants to get down, he must send the first snap. And he never did. From every single day to absolute silence. It's been five days now. I like this guy. He had brown, thick, curly hair, the smile of an Yeah, dude. She was describing the beginning of an excellent relationship. The dude disappeared like a Snapchat itself. Yeah, the ghost emoji ghosted. Interesting. Yeah, he just doesn't like

her anymore. Right. So, that's annoying. So, why all the other good stuff? I think that's just like modern dating, you know, like you're fire and then you're your eyes you know what breakups always sort of happen out of the blue for one other person because it's hard to be mean to someone for the third fourth and fifth date like i'm my best version of myself when i'm with somebody that means it seems outwardly that it's going great what am i gonna like roll my eyes not smile smile at jokes, not laugh, not pretend to do this, not be polite. I'm my best version, date five, six, seven, eight. And then at a certain point, I feel like I don't want to lie anymore.

I don't want to be polite anymore. I want to be my true self, which is not necessarily be dating this other person. Right. So I'll have to be like, sorry, this is going well, but I don't want to do this anymore. And then oftentimes it's like, wait, what are you talking about? We had such a great time. It seems so perfect. We snapped.

I wasn't having any fun. Yeah. What I was doing was lying more and more and more and more to the point where I can't quite be that person anymore. Yeah. But I would say that this isn't necessarily like this guy was growing more and more distant from this girl. Like he also might,

maybe there's, it sounds like he's a fucking hottie. So maybe some other girl just came in. He got super into that, you know? It's so hard with new relationships because you don't know at all what the other person's going through. He's going through something

completely different than you. Right. And so frequently, those two things don't know at all what the other person's going through. He's going through something completely different than you. And so frequently, those two things don't line up. The odds of them lining up are so small. That's why not everybody in the world gets married to somebody that they date. The odds of you marrying someone are like one in 100, one in 500 or whatever. The testing thing is always funny to me too. She's like, she liked him. She was sending the first snaps. She was sending the first jokes. And then she's like she liked him she was sending the first snaps she was sending the first jokes and then she's like you know what i won't send it and that's always a really dangerous game to be like i'm gonna see if he contacts me first yeah because then he doesn't and then what you've really built up the fact that he's going and like i bet every single day is just the longest day you like look at your phone you're like what the fuck is going on so i think you if you fuck somebody i don't think there should

be any like qualm about sending a text or sending a snap or whatever whatever whatever uh and you would say even if i'm the one initiating it over and over and over that's fine i mean it depends on what you're getting back if you're getting it is a kind of a good litmus test because it did show her like she's like i'm not gonna snap first and see what happens oh he's not interested yeah now i know it's a little it's a little uh dickling it's a little hurwitz of him yeah i'll tell him that right now he because that's maybe what he was hoping if she stops i'll stop and then it's like oh we both ghosted each other when in fact he was the one that was doing the ghosting yeah you're never i really hope

wherever he is i hope he's not like oh i'm off the hook she didn't of course that's what he thinks yeah but obviously that's like You know when somebody likes you. And you know when they're waiting. You just have to... I mean, you don't have to... No one's making you snap this girl, but at the very least you should be like, alright, I probably hurt her.

That wasn't ideal of me to do. Yeah, it seems like this is trending towards the girl reaching out one last time, like, hey, I really like hanging out with you. Let me know if you want to do the same with me. And then he'll either complete the ghost and not respond to that, which is bad. That's real bad. Or he'll be like, yeah, sorry. I guess I'm just not feeling it anymore.

Well, you're taking this guy's side because he is you. Yeah, I am a Snapchatter. You are the guy that you stop texting. You're like, oh, you didn't text me, so I didn't text you. Right. I'm in the right. But then I feel bad because it's like, what's... I'm just talking about myself, not through this guy.

Like, am I to have to, quote unquote, break up with somebody? Like, after like four dates? Do I have to like email her and be like, listen, this isn't going out well for me. I don't really like you like that. Yeah. And then she's like, wait, what are you talking about? Like, you could have just stopped Snapchatting me and i would have been fine it's really a case by case basis because some people would rather be ghosted and then some people would rather

you be honest which is what like came up on our podcast last week like some people prefer like the just the polite you don't have to sit me down and talk to me i already feel like the rejection let me just at least like yeah convince myself let me get ghosted and I don't have to like have this uncomfortable exchange with you. Yeah. And then somebody else is like, hey, you need to just tell me what's what so I can stop thinking about it. Right. And yeah, I don't know.

There's not really a right answer because it's really all like what's, what does the other person prefer and what do you prefer? And I've done both. I've quote like broken up or had to send an email to someone, like, after, like, two dates. And then some people are like, wait, why did you, like, break up with her? You could have just said nothing. Two examples that I'm thinking of. You did the wrong thing each time.

Right. Like, the first time, I shouldn't have said anything. But I felt like she was expecting me to reach out. And if I didn't, then I didn't want to be an asshole. I'm always thinking, which one will get the lady to think that I'm not an asshole? Yeah. an asshole i'm always thinking which one will get the lady to think that i'm not an asshole yeah i don't know i think the very like just the fact that you're thinking those thoughts makes you not an asshole yeah but then at a certain point it's like it's a little bit selfish to be like i just which one will make you like me like i don't i don't give a shit if you want

me to say nothing or you want me to say something i'll do it just tell me which one you want me to do yeah but that's like sort of a win-win because you want them to like you but like them liking you is them being the least hurt so it's sort of like uh it's it's ultimately nice even though that's not necessarily your primary intention right another example of like doing something that's kind of rude, but I feel like it's actually beneficial and helpful is a lot of times I hear the advice of like, it's better to ask a girl out in person than to like do it over text or over email, because that's like really passive. putting her in a weird place where she has to reject you or accept you instantly to your face. Right. If I'm staring at somebody like, do you want to go out sometime? What kind of weird position does that put her in? They usually just say yes and then they bail later.

Right. I think it almost just doesn't even matter at that point if they like you they'll like being asked out in any of those fashions and if they don't like you i guess they'd probably most like to not be asked out face to face yeah i think if you get the sense that somebody likes you and you ask them out face to face they're pretty pumped on it but there's a there's this old-fashioned thing where it's just like you should ask someone out to their face i also heard recently that it's nice to pick somebody up in your car rather than like, let's meet at this bar in an Uber. Yeah, I'm all for that like second level confidence.

Like, I don't think I would ever go up to somebody like, hey, I'd like to take you out sometime. But like, you know, you make friends. You're like, hey, what are you doing? Like, you set up a date. And then once the date is set up, then you'd be that like ultimate gentleman. Then you're like, I'll pick you you up i'll do yeah whatever all that stuff yeah pickup is i don't know i'm i'm i'm i'm not a hundred percent into the pickup either well we live in los angeles where it's like it makes more sense to meet in an uber so you can both get

drunk right but i mean it always makes more sense to meet in an uber so you can both get drunk but like some people would say like no, no, we live in LA. It would be nice to get picked up. It's a car culture. The date is a drive-in. A drive-in movie theater. Right. So, you have to take you, your date, and the Uber driver to the drive-in.

Yeah. So, let me call an Uber. We'll pick you up. And Luis or Mario will just sit in the front while we watch this. Racist. Racist. What? What?

Has to be luis or mario luigi or mario sorry i just think most italian plumbers end up driving for uber yeah there's not a lot of plumbing to go around uh so i don't know that's i guess what was this guy's specific question she's oh yeah he like put out the snap fire what should she do i mean you you there's nothing's happening so i i if i were her i would continue uh the non don't reach out to him except that it's over he was sort of a little bit of a dickling but that's okay uh try to meet somebody else there's always other humans that's the best thing about being on Earth. There's more humans than just that one guy. Yeah, there's more pilots.

We'll be able to write again. It's going to be fine. TV still exists. The internet still exists. We can create stuff. That doesn't have to be Jake and Amir. It can be something else. It can be something entirely new,

something exciting, something that builds upon what we've known and learned. It just doesn't fucking make sense. There we go. Let it out. All right. Thanks for listening, everybody.

Oh, I have to promote that. I went into my mom's podcast. We don't have time for that. Hey guys, let's wrap this up. The pilot is not picked up, but you can still hear me reading this,

the secret life of Walter Mitty on, on my mom's podcast which is called the easy chair oh that's on the head gum network your mommy's podcast my mommy's podcast jake i'm her favorite guest she actually admitted on this podcast that i was her favorite child wow or at least the favorite son still pretty good still pretty still she she still shouldn't have done that yeah uh we're also on the black man Can't Jump podcast a week or two ago talking about White Men Can't Jump. Yes. So if you liked their episode on our show last week, we go on their show and you can listen to that right now.

Thank you for listening. Thank you for supporting. Thank you for listening. Thank you for everything. We appreciate it. We will continue making stuff and we hope you continue watching and enjoying this isn't the end this isn't the end this is not the end of us this is not the beginning either no this is the middle oh yeah definitely not the

beginning trust us we are peaking yeah join us gonna be a nice long descent baby and you guys gonna be with us every step of the way What's the best part of a rollercoaster? Am I right, folks? The precipitous drop, drop, drop, drop, drop The opening theme song was written by Stop the Rock You can listen to him on Steam

Or add him on Steam I Filthy Casual And this closing theme song is from Misha And Alex Scott We'll be back next week And the week after And over and over and over And this closing theme song is from Misha and Alex Scott. We'll be back next week and the week after and over and over and over. Forever. Because True TV doesn't have any say on the fucking podcast. They had the shit.

They just canceled our podcast. How? How is this legal? See you all next week. Bye. Thanks. Bye. If I were you If I were you

Run back to June Run back to June Their words are nice They are nice They give advice We love Jake We love Jake. We love his mom. We love his mom.

We hate his dad. Hate his dad. But we love his money. Should I come?