Segments - 191: The Emotionary (w/Eden Sher!)

Episode Date: January 4, 2016

Actress and friend Eden Sher joins us to discuss new movies, new words, and staying hydrated. This episode is brought to you by MeUndies, Leesa, and BlueApron! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. They have a clue if I were you. If, if, if I were you. In a sticky stitch looking for a fix. Email these dicks and they'll probably make fun of you. If, if, if I were you. If I were you. If, if, if, if I were you. They're not qualified in any way, but they will tell you what to do. If, if, if I were you. Yeah.

Great, great song. That was perfect. Did you love it? I were you. Yeah. Great, great song. That was perfect. Did you love it? I loved it so much. All right. Positive right off the bat. Eden. Yes.

How do you pronounce your last name? However your heart desires. Cher. Yes. That is correct. I love my heart. No, no. Let me try.

Let me try. Wait. Sure. That's also correct. Also correct. Yes. Not's also correct. Also correct. Not as correct, but still correct in your heart. Thanks for coming by. Thank you for having me.

Did you really mean it when you said you've never done a podcast before? I've meant it 100%. Wow. Holy shit. I know. What an honor. I know. This is happening.

Yeah, I was saying like, I know, like, I know for you. Totally. You guys are so fortunate right now that guy sucks that guy's name was jacob legrand he had your name jacob yeah jake wrote that he actually wrote it from scratch it was if if oh yeah and then it was so popular that the um the uh the the Beach Boys ended up covering it. Yeah. They changed the words.

They went back in time and re-recorded it. I feel like the most important part of that is that Jake is a time traveler. Yeah. He's lost over that. He's a good musician, but also, yeah, he invented the time machine. So, Eden, how would people know who the heck you are? Like, why are you here, and what would they know you from? Man, well, I would say most people don't they might know me from um i do a show on abc it's a

big one television yeah it's a big television network and yes and show it's definitely i i love it it's called the middle and it's on ab ABC Wednesday nights, 8 p.m., 7 central. Well, your teeth are sparkling right now. It's really because all those details were wrong. It's on Fox at 2 p.m. every other Sunday. Yeah. It's football. Wait, I also, there's more.

Wait, there's more. Okay. Nobody knows me from these other things. But these are things I'm doing. These are the things that you're really excited about. Yeah. And I shouldn't even say that. I'm super excited about The Middle.

I've just been doing it for so many years. How many we're in our seventh year wow holy shit many years congratulations okay super cool so what are you what's the new exciting stuff because that's old and exciting exactly it's like make new friends but keep the old one exactly the other's gold so what's the gold i don't know which one is good which one is better the other yeah gold's definitely worth more but silver kind of like make it prettier and like shinier like we'll just try like yeah when know which one is good. Which one is better? Gold's definitely worth more. But silver is prettier and shinier. When they said one is silver and the other is gold, are they saying that one of them is better than the other? Or are they saying both of them are equally precious? Silver and gold are both very equally precious.

And I think people are like, well, you know. But why would they choose the Olympic medals that are specifically first and second place? One is first and the other second. We're never going to let her say the other things that she's let her i just want to get to the bottom of this metal controversy one is bronze and the other one's fine if if there were one is better than the other which one does the song do you think insinuates is better the new right make new friends keep the old no probably gold because gold is worth more but it's like old and gold is that a thing well it just has to run yeah you know

what we're just gonna leave it i want to figure it out decision is the host it's done what are the other things i also do a i also do a cartoon for disney channel it's called star versus the forces of evil i love it so much. Are you Star? I'm Star. Oh, thank goodness. No, I know. I would have to, you just kicked me right out. Who's evil?

Actually, Alan Tudyk plays, oh, this little mini thing. I believe it's like Alien Princess, like super cool. And this little like evil thing. He plays the robot and I robot. He's the one that yells, I did not murder him. Oh, really? That's like the one impression you can do. Yeah. He's the one that yells, I did not murder him. Oh, really? That's like the one impression you can do. Yeah.

He's the one impression. Will you tell Alan that I'd love to? Well, do the impression. I did not murder him. That's good. He also does Anthony Kiedis. Do Anthony Kiedis. Ba-ba-ba-do-ba-do-ba-do-do.

Do-ba-ba-ba-da-ba-do-do. And you do Kermit the Frog? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's Kermit. So do Kermit the Frog? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's Kermit. So do Kermit the Frog singing Red Hot Chili Peppers? Under the bridge downtown. Now I'm doing the guy from iRobot.

So you're on the Disney Channel? I'm on the Disney Channel. Yes. I also have a website that I have not updated in a while, but I'm very still passionate about the idea. It's called The Emotionary. Oh, that's a book that i'm very still passionate about the idea it's called the emotionary the oh that's a book that's coming out yes it is next year the emotionary yes it's the hyphen emotionary eventually of like a new like the updated website very soon will be

coming out tonight can i make a quick recommendation please buy the ur URL without the hyphen. I feel like I tried. Maybe I didn't. Because I just went to that one and it's unavailable. What is it? Nothing. It's nothing. That's what I'm saying. You should buy it and just have it redirect. Forward it.

And you should do it before this episode comes out because I'm giving a lot of mean people the idea of stealing it from you. I know. And then I'm going to... Oh, my God. Did you hear that someone bought Google for $12 also? What? Yeah.

It was like a thing. So irrelevant. So matter i should buy this url maybe hopefully like someone will buy it oh you're saying google before google was around some guy sold it to google for 12 dollars no there was like a loophole like recently and someone bought it for 12 and then like immediately google like contacted them and they're like this is a mistake but he would contact the guy who bought it contacted them and it's like this is a huge by the way you guys the domain expired like how did you guys let that slip through your cracks i'll sell it back to you for 12 dollars yeah do you get can you go as high as 14 i feel like a real asshole but i bought google i actually might just turn it into a personal blog yeah actually i'm going to do it unless you can give me like $16.

So this, what are we doing here? Right now, it's an advice podcast. It's called If I Were You. It's actually the only advice podcast on the whole internet that Jake and I host. And sometimes it's just us two and sometimes we have a guest. Sometimes you're privileged to have. You know, Eden grew up where I grew up yeah really yeah we both grew up in the valley well i didn't grow up in israel have you ever been israel i haven't i was supposed to go on birthright and i got denied what they don't deny anyone my name is eden now my name yes

i don't know i don't know what the fuck i don't know what happened you didn't get into birthright like it's not a thing that like technically yes they were like encouraging people yeah but i don't know what happened i they like they were like we can't take you on this trip at this time eventually i was like all right well you spent six months in an al-qaeda training camp right i just didn't think it would matter i just did like i'm not in it now right dude you're currently out of it yeah uh so these i'm going to be reading real emails from real people uh i'm going to ask you to give them fake names just to preserve their anonymity of course that's sweet um so this first one is from a dude named alfonso That's really good. Ethnic. I like that. Hi, guys.

Alfonso here. My girlfriend is a bit of a nympho, and she likes to have sex multiple times a day. I would say she's a total smoke show, but I would be lying. Anyway, to the point, I tend to get dehydrated. Nina, sigh. To get to the point, I tend to get dehydrated throughout the course of the day and during said sexual activities. I try to drink a lot of water and Gatorade, but hydration breaks are a no-go for her. So I have been thinking about wearing a Camelback backpack during sex.

My friends completely disapprove, but I think it would be a convenient and only add to the sex. So I was wondering what your thoughts were. Thanks, alfonso okay i what initial reactions i'm a fan whoa yeah i think cool i mean communication is key so just gotta like you can't show up with the camelback on i think it would be really disconcerting however although i don't know it it could be. Yeah, however, although, but, yet, still, it could be. Like, how long has he been dating his girlfriend? I can't remember.

A year? Do they say? Just long enough to call her ugly in this evening. I know. Let's pretend like that didn't happen. Yeah, because, well, I mean, right off the bat, I'm, like, a little less on his side. Yeah. But, however, but, yeah, still.

A camelback during sex i think as long as if he's like if she's into it if he knows that's i was like if he knows her well enough to like if it's like a funny like yeah yo babe like oh i'm working one time as a funny thing but if you're like continually trying to do it maybe how dehydrated is he getting how long are these sessions 45 hours straight nine days in the sahara yeah do they have to do it in the heat well i don't understand wait that is actually a really good point because i can understand get like whatever but if he's like consciously throughout the day drinking water and gatorade and he's still like like fatigued there's something like

a little okay about him pausing during sex to have water but so gross if he pauses to have Gatorade hot Gatorade oh one second lemon lime lukewarm Gatorade from a two gallon can it's like the bottle is sweating on the

inside you know the kind you used to pee pee in that's enough From a two gallon can. It's perfect. Yeah. It's like the bottle is sweating on the inside. Oh, God. You know, the kind you used to pee pee in. Yeah. Maybe he's confused. That's enough, dude. We have a guest. And I don't urinate in Gatorade bottles.

Anymore. Anymore than somebody else who does, does. Yeah. Unless it's an emergency and I'm driving and I have to. And there are no swell bottles around. Yeah, dude. Shout out to swell we all three of us just i guess not independently you guys not but independently of you i have my

own swell bottle and i think that's funny yeah free plug swell what up they've earned it we love them uh so backpack you're saying yay go for it i mean i also why doesn't he just i don't understand she's like he's like brought up like i need a water break, and she's been like, no. Yeah. You can't stop fucking me. Or a no-go for her. God, imagine that. Getting a fat rejection for a water break.

I think, well, definitely that ruins the mood to be like, hold on, I need to go get water. Yeah. A lot's happening during sex that like needs to stay uh moist and it's not your mouth oh nice thank you yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes 45 minutes all of our mouths are dry i'd say anything to change things up would be fun if this girl's actually having sex multiple times a day for weeks, months, years on end. Oh, yeah, it adds to it. Having a camelback adds to it.

It does not add to it. Let's just, like, call a spade a spod, you know? Nice. Anything, I am a firm, anything can add to it if you want it to. If it's, like, if you wear it, if you, like, I mean, also, she might be like, what the fuck is that? It adds to it for him, but, like, what's, it's not gonna add to it if you want it to if it's like if you wear it if you like i mean she also she might it adds to it for him but like what's it's not gonna add to it for her i don't know it might

be funny if he like wears it with confidence and then is like all right babe like i gotta stay like i gotta stay like in it for you and i don't want to take a break so like we gotta like keep it going i can't stop there's something like someone sexy about like oh you're so dehydrated that you can't even fuck without like needing to prepare like you're going into the wilderness. Maybe. Or it's like going into the wilderness. Yeah. He's wearing a bandana, cargo shorts, and a cliff bar.

Tevas. He has goo. You know, we often talk about how guys like sex more than girls. That's not true. Yeah. I agree. about how guys like sex more than girls that's not true yeah uh i i agree there's that next level of like once you're in a relationship we often get questions about like my girlfriend like wants to have sex so much more than i do oh yeah i feel like the trajectory is like sort of it's an inverse

bell curve so it's like girls like it the least and then also the most i think the thing about girls liking it the least one is a a really antiquated stereotype because it's like... Yeah, you little, you misogynist. You chauvinist pig. Let me mansplain something to you, honey. But also, or whatever, because girls are shaming, all that stuff. But also, I think girls are hit on all the time. So girls get the reputation of like not liking sex as much

because they just don't want to have sex with as many people. Like they don't just want to have sex with you. Yeah, yeah. It's like about the, like once the- Oh, girls hate sex.

No, they hate you. Yeah. Once the trust is established, I think it comes down, it's like an evolutionary thing. Like girls can have multiple orgasms and guys,

if they, if guys could have multiple orgasms, it's like Streeter's joke where he's like then the first guy would just die holding his dick like there would not be humanity because he would just jerk off 24 7 starve to death and die i thought that was streeter's thing where he like thought that there that uh there should be vaginas on your hand that's a different idea yeah i think if both yeah both of those things were true there would actually be

it would like there would just be a planet right female god how does it work if you're a female you can have an orgasm and then just seconds later be down again isn't that crazy to think about yeah it's dope girls have it real good y'all don't need a break at all But then it leads to this situation where like girlfriends are, you know, being called a nympho, likes to have sex multiple times. Because she could just, she can orgasm. What's the most times you've orgasmed in a day, Jake? In a day? Yeah.

I mean, it's been a minute. But like I had maybe, I like came seven or eight times in a day. Because you had sex seven times. Oh, if we're just talking sex. The most times I had sex in a day is maybe like six. That's so much. And then like by the end. I've had sex like four times in a sitting.

But then it's like pain. But like by the fourth, fifth, sixth, it's just a painful thing. But for the lady, it's not. Well, like. Is it literally physically painful? Like my peen can only handle so much. Once it's like spitting, like... Is it literally physically painful? Like, my peen can only handle so much. Once it's, like, spitting, like, it needs a break. Well, you're also...

You're wearing condoms, right? Yeah, I'm always... I'm wearing a condom right now. Right. Like... If you're having condomless sex, it doesn't hurt, but it's hard to maintain an erection. True. But even without a condom, you can't have sex more than, let's say, six times, seven

times a day. I could have sex that many times. I wouldn't be able to come every day. But the orgasm, right? Yeah. But a girl, is there a theoretical maximum? Not that you may or may not know, but is it possible to just have 100 orgasms in a day? Or is there also a little bit of a diminishing?

There's a little. I mean, I don't know. I can only speak personal. Of course. I think there's a little bit of diminishing. Also, it's not like, I mean, I don't know. I think there's a little bit of diminishing. Also, it's not like, I mean, I don't know. I guess everyone's different,

but you can't, there still has to be some time in between. Oh, there does. It's a diminishing, it's like the time in between. And that's the time that you could use for a water break. This guy can't. I feel like before,

Camelback is a last ditch effort. Sorry, just to bring it back to the question. Camelback's a last ditch effort. If he like, just try one time to like hydrate yourself throughout the day i think you can i think he's looking a bit more of a like a freaky like new thing to try it's not freaky yes no i think he wants that's what it is i think he wants an excuse to try this it's like remember that seinfeld where costanza's trying to eat a sandwich and watch tv during sex to achieve the holy trifecta because he's like the best three things are sex

eating and watching tv and so he's like if i can get all three of them and he got greedy he like started eating a sandwich while having sex and the girl realized that he tried to hide it from her i tried one time i tried to and this also goes back to like girls being whatever crazier like wanting more sex than guys yeah i wait when does this actually it doesn't it doesn't matter where the time in december not exactly sure um i'm queen of tmi i don't care okay um specifically for my boyfriend um because i'm planning on breaking up with him on december 13th so this could come out after that um no one time we were watching a uh they might be giants documentary and i i don't know if you like them or know them or whatever.

But he is obsessed with them. And I really like them. And the documentary was great. And then it was over. Like, it was like, oh, like, Dana, watch a movie. And then just, like, what happens in life when you're, like, an adult in a relationship after you watch a movie? You go to bed. And if you go to bed, you're probably going to have sex.

And so, like, the movie ends. And ends and i'm like hey i'm here like ah like starting like uh like we're showing whatever and he's like like which special feature do you want to watch oh shit shut down for special features yes super rejected that hurts so let yeah wait what was the point that was but it's also beautiful because he's completely honest and open with you yes yes he didn't want him to hide that feeling like he he thought it and then he didn't feel like obligated to lie to you and say like and be thinking about special features while he's having sex with you right exactly and if you think about it it's actually a term of endearment that he said that it is also doesn't it feel like

i'm her boyfriend right now? If you think about it, actually, he was really honest, wasn't he? Sounds like you've been in that situation before. Yeah. So I guess so maybe like with the, I guess, yeah, he didn't lie. I disagree with what Blumenfeld was saying. Well, how long were you in the relationship? That's another thing.

Was it new and exciting? Or was it like, is this like a seven year thing? No, no. It was probably like six, seven months. Oh yeah. He should have fucked. He should have. Like what the hell?

Yeah. I mean, special features. He's just tired. It is tough to tell people sometimes that you're tired, which is why I almost never, ever do it. You just tough through it. You just lie. I just have sex. Right.

Yeah. It's more like, it's almost like going to the gym. It's just, I mean, it's way, way better. But in this way, it's like the idea is like the effort, like thinking about it. You're like, I don't really feel like, you know, thrusting and humping and like getting sweaty. But then as soon as my

dick gets hard i'm like oh actually i do well it's like if i just like suspend my reality for a minute a little bit it's like being hung over when you're like hung over you're like i can't imagine drinking and then like when you feel a little bit better than start drinking and you're like oh this is fine yeah exactly uh well that's right sex is. We should go on to the next question so we can answer multiple ones. But I just have one solution that is the solution for this guy. Spice up your sex life by having sex in the shower, doggy style. She's turned around. You are facing the stream as often as you want.

The water might be a little hot, but you can sip till your heart's content. He will be fully hydrated hydrated and she will be fully satisfied because they are having sex get a waterbed inclusive response answer pierce it with a straw get a waterbed pierce it like a fucking capri sun and just fill it up with power a camelback bed yeah that is such a good idea a camel bed a camel bed fuck podcasting dude we're gonna be rich we gotta get back on twinnovation this was my idea you guys just stole it uh all right next question uh this one is written by another dude okay named um kale carl carlson carl kailiel Carlson. Carl Kielson. Kiel Carlson writes,

Hey, it's me, Kiel Carlson. As you probably might know, Star Wars Episode VII is coming out in December. My dad, who saw the original movies as a kid, passed them down to me, and I have revered them as perfect gems ever since. A few months ago, I decided to share them with my girlfriend of two years, and after watching all three, we decided to go see the new one on opening night. A few weeks later, my dad casually asked if he and I were going to see it together, and I couldn't say no to the guy who got me into this whole Star Wars thing to begin with.

Originally, I had planned on taking my girlfriend on opening night and maybe catching it again with my dad next weekend, but I've realized there's a problem. Saying I've loved this movie for years and I'd like to show it to you is not at all as saying I saw this movie last week with someone more important, so I guess your turn now. Should I go back on my promise to my girlfriend or ruin a man's chance to relive his childhood Star Wars premiere memories?

Thank you so much. Love, Kale Carlson. Kale. Well, I'm sorry, I'm just taking it i i am actually seeing with my boyfriend on opening night star wars and but it's it's like a sort of a solution and maybe it doesn't he doesn't want to do this i'm seeing it with his whole family oh you make a big family thing yeah and yeah and his sister and her boyfriend he played darth maul in phantom menace though so like you guys have an in right yeah so that's really cool cool have you seen all six of

the star wars this is no i have not seen the like first i've not seen the the new like the second trilogy yeah yeah i haven't did you see the the original three in anticipation of episode seven no i should re-watch them i also one of my greatest sources of shame i didn't see star wars until like a year and a half or two years ago i'm yours i'm the same way i just saw the first one like last week because somebody was like what the hell you haven't seen star wars i'm like no i haven't maybe it's a thing it's an 818 thing maybe what if nobody in the valley ever saw this any star wars movie holy shit we should yeah did you have any siblings older siblings younger siblings i had an older brother and a younger brother did they see star

wars yeah somehow my little brother little brother where the hell did what did he how did he see him yeah loved him like he he said he according to his like his upbringing he grew up with them and did you ever like know that or he that was a news flash what year did they come out 77 81 83 or something that's weird i don't know how you were not even born yet yeah well because i mean anyone they're like legendary yeah most people we should just call every you should go to the yellow pages find a yellow page find yeah that's how old we are we know that about yellow pages we should know star wars um yeah so every 818 number what that's technically the white pages find up white pages uh did you like them when you saw them yeah it was weird in that like i knew everything about them already yeah and there were no and like i have to you have

to watch it in the context of like oh this was the was the like, cause you watch it and you're like, uh-huh. Like, yeah, obviously I know this stuff. The graphics are bad. The acting is really slow. Yeah, it is in post.

Yeah. It's not as good as Gravity. I actually like Jurassic World more. Yeah. Uh, I think it was because I'm not, I wasn't born in America. You were born in Israel?

That was my excuse. That's a great illegitimate excuse. It's a fake excuse. You moved here when you were two, couldn't you? Yeah. Also, people in Israel have seen Star Wars. Yeah. That's pretty global.

All right, Star Wars aside, who should he see this movie with? I think he should totally see it with his dad. And I think he's been dating his girlfriend for two years. I think she would understand. She'll understand. Yeah, the thing he said about like i'll see it with you like i guess we'll see with you like also the mark of you're in a good relationship like he doesn't even have to make a decision he could tell his girlfriend this conundrum yeah say i'm like

worried my it seems like my dad wants to see it i want to see it with you i don't really know what to do and if she's like a good partner she will say of course see it with your dad i don't care about seeing it on opening night yeah it sounds like it's important to you two. You can see it whenever. But what if she's like, fuck that noise ass. She waited 30 years to see the original ones. She can wait more. Your dad's an old piece of shit.

He doesn't have to see the movie with you, baby. Then immediately break up. Yeah, I think that turns into a different question. For sure. Could your dad blow you like this? And what if she blows him? And then she chips her tooth on his penis? Ow!

Yes, he could. Yeah, I guess he could probably. I mean, he's never tried. What? Why are we talking about this? Nobody could blow me better than my dad. This is crazy. He taught me how to throw a baseball.

This is a great tangent. What's the most popular movie you've never seen? I haven't seen the godfather that's pretty good that's a good one to either of i really wow that would have been my answer too oh my god i got a good one okay wizard of oz oh my god you just walk out but i feel like i know the the plot of wizard of oz just from like the wizard of oz isn't necessarily one that like still holds up like oh it's one of the best movies of all time right you're supposed to have seen it when you were little but nobody is like it's not a revered yeah it's a classic I guess right I don't know it's not revered what

do you mean it is like it's not like held to the same walk out again come back back in now I mean like people still say like The Godfather is one of the best movies of all time it's like influenced cinema in this incredible way. You should see it. Right. Nobody's necessarily saying that about The Wizard of Oz. While I don't... You might be wrong.

There's a chance that you're just completely wrong. But I don't know either. You're not talking to the right people, maybe. Yeah. Well, I guess in my world, it's never come up that The Wizard of Oz is a staple of modern cinema. Right. So I can't be wrong about that. Because it came out in 1939.

Sure. No, it didn't. Yeah, it did. It came out in the 30s. Really? It came out the same year that World War II started. Actually, let me check. Because I might even be older than that.

There's a lot of movie nerds that are just yelling at us right now, and we can't hear them at all. Yeah. Also, I think the verbiage of what you said was wrong. Holy shit, I nailed it. 1939. Wow. Good work.

So maybe I do know. It is a staple of modern cinema. Yeah, I would say it is a staple of modern cinema. You're so right in that. Yeah, why not? Whatever. I disagree. It doesn't matter.

Nothing actually matters. So we all think, actually, whoa whoa it has a four percent rotten tomato they actually prefer snowpiercer shit critically panned jesus it was not as good as memento yeah not as good as godfather definitely not a staple of modern cinema. Jake nailed it. This is insane. I wrote that review. How did I get to be the top option on Google? Yeah, how are you a certified critic? Yeah, I am a Siskel and Ebert. Of yourself.

Siskel meets Ebert meets Hurwitz. I think we all agree of team dad over team girlfriend. Yeah. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I think totally. Again, communication. Just talk to her. She'll get it. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think totally. Again, communication. Just talk to her. She'll get it. Or do the, yeah, do the my BF thing and do it all in one.

Get it all. Knock all the birds with. Girlfriend is below family. Fiance is half family and wife is the closest family. Whoa. So let's. Like it jumps over the line. That's why I love my future wife the most.

I just don't know who she is yet. Fair. So once I do find her, I'll take her to see Star Wars with me. We're going to take a little break and then come back with more questions and more Eden. And more Jake, I guess, too. Gracias. Yeah. Thank you to Squarespace for sponsoring this episode of our show.

Hell yeah. Jake, you've been building on Squarespace for decades at this point. Exactly. Eons, it feels like. Yes. So you know how easy it is to use their simple, intuitive, drag and drop design technology? Yes, yes, yes. Easy to create, easy to sell, easy to promote.

Squarespace is my all-in-one, first stop, one-stop shop. Yeah. It's kind of funny that they have also award-winning customer support because it's so intuitive is my all-in-one first stop, one-stop shop. Yeah, it's kind of funny that they have also award-winning customer support because it's so intuitive that even Jake was able to figure it out. But if you have any questions, they can figure it out for you as well. Exactly.

And I did need a lot of help. I needed a lot of help. It's easy for everybody, but I still like to have my hand held. They even have AI at this point. You can update written content, product description, or email with Squarespace AI. You can even buy a domain name through Squarespace. Exactly. Like, you know that movie Freaky Friday? Yeah. How'd you like to own FreakyFriday.com?

That'd be great. Is that available? It's not available. Yeah. But how'd you like to own Freaky Tuesday? Interesting. Freaky Tuesday. So that's when you run into each other and some parts of your personality change, but ultimately it's not a full body swap. Right. Mostly you're just concussed. Yeah, which is new. It's kind of like having a new personality. Yeah. It's funny. I consider myself a vision lifter, which is why I recommend somebody buying

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And we're back. Nice. We spent two days during that break getting to know Eden and now we're ready to have the second half. We all hate each other now. We're all mad at each other. You grew up where I grew up, right? Yeah.

So how do you think that... I want to talk about fucking California. I want to talk about Connecticut. Oh yeah. What do you think about New Haven? Where I'm from. New Haven.

Pistol waving. New Haven. Have you ever been to Connecticut? I used to go to Connecticut all the time. Whoa. I dated a guy who went to Wesleyan. Really? I used to go to Connecticut all the time. Whoa. I dated a guy who went to Wesleyan. Really?

I grew up 20 minutes from Wesleyan. I know. I always got off at the New Haven stop. Yeah, you did. Union Station. Love it, dude. Was his name Wesley? Yes.

It was Ann. There's got to be someone named Wesley who goes to Wesleyan, right? That is a great, solid point. Of course. Load up Facebook, baby. No, Wizard of Oz was the staple of modern cinema. Amazing. Not fair. That's not what I was saying. It's not that. No, Wizard of Oz was a staple of modern cinema. Amazing. That's not what I was saying.

It's not that I wasn't saying it's not a staple of modern cinema. Yes, you did say that. You said it's not a staple of modern cinema. Nope. You did actually say that sentence. I said not in, not solidified in my mind as a staple of modern cinema. I don't know what it is to cinematographers. Cinematographers are what you call people that like movies?

Yeah, they're the only people that are allowed. Yeah, yeah. If you're not a cinematographer, you don't like cinema. If you're not a cinemaphile. I'm sorry. Am I not allowed to misspeak on the podcast? Oh, I'm sorry. Am I on trial?

Does everything I say get played back to me? Or do you just like to call me on little shit so you can feel good about yourself? Yeah, we can play it back, actually. Let me. No, we actually already talked about your show and your website, The Emotionary. But what is The Emotionary? It is, I'll give you the elevator pitch right now. It's The Emotionary.

It's a dictionary for your feelings. It's words that don't exist for feelings that do. Whoa. Oh, kind of like how like the schadenfreude, like the... Yes. Sorry. So what's an example

of a word that doesn't exist for an emotion that does? Oh, I have a good one. Go for it. The way a mom feels when a homeless person makes her baby laugh. Okay, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. The way... What specifies that feeling a little more? Is it like a happy... It's like a cautious laughter, nervous nervous but actually happy because her baby's smiling um okay here's a similar i'll i'll do you one better with an actual word that exists because it's a little bit like that okay but like not quite yeah um it's not as good

skepticism skepticism yeah okay what's that skeptical plus optimism and it's a little bit more is that in your emotion yeah is it like caution what's the difference between skepticism and cautious optimism or is it just one word like you don't think it's gonna work out but you hope it does yeah exactly so it's a little like with the mom it's like i hope like i don't know if this is gonna work out because there is a homeless guy like entertaining my child but i hope it's just a chill a chill time right now so i have a good i'm gonna let this guy babysit you know what yeah i trust i'm skeptimistic enough the the opt the second half is like i like skepticism i could adopt that right are a lot of them portmanteaus like that most of them are portmanteaus yeah some of them

are taken from like yeah like latin root or actually, this is also kind of a Seinfeld thing, like, vindexant. Okay, what's that? Which is just, it's taken from, like, the, like, Latin, like, vindicated, or whatever, and then it's, I don't know what the second half is, but it just, like, I just took some, like, I know what makes something, I look at it, like, what makes something an adjective, and then, like, vinny, or whatever, which is, like, wanting redemption, and it's, like, vindexant, it's the feeling of,

it's not like having a French word for it, but the feeling of like thinking of the perfect thing to say after you've left. Oh yeah. And you just like, the like need for vindication. Oh wait,

so like a comeback that you didn't have it in the moment. That's also Seinfeld, right? That is it, yeah. The jerk store called, they're running out of you. Yeah, yeah. Well, I don't know're running out of you. Yeah, yeah. Well, I don't know why, you're their best customer.

And then he stands up and goes, I had sex with your wife. And then somebody goes, his wife's in a coma. Wait, what's the word for that feeling? Vindexant. Vindexant. I like that a lot. Yeah. Give us one more.

Okay. There's one that I love so much that I've used as an example, and it's totally, it's polarizing. I realize it's hit or miss. So hopefully you guys have enough problems that you'll relate. I don't have any problems. I can't wait to have one. It's going to be so good. Actually, I'll do two.

Okay, one is this one, Emotal. Emotal? Emote and Spiral, which is to think and judge oneself in such rapid succession, it ultimately causes immobility. That's the word. Yeah, I should have these memorized. Okay, immodal. Yeah.

So you're like paralyzed with emotion? Yeah, or like neurotic, like, oh, God, I shouldn't have. Oh, here's one. Solemplate, which is solipsistic contemplating, and it's to harbor emotions about an embarrassing event that nobody remembers but you harbor emotions about an embarrassing solemn plate yeah solo contemplating yeah and you're doing it in a solemn way oh i didn't even think of that what was the first one the first one ever was like how did this start well it started because i broke up with that

fucking wesleyan yeah from wesleyan i'm from london yeah and i just was so i had all of the feelings at the same time and i was like i'm also just like like perfection like i gotta work like i refuse to not be like constructed with my depression. And so I like started just like pinning these feelings. And then I was like, I'm going to do something with this. Yeah. And then I, you know, love, love puns. Who doesn't love puns? Yeah, I like puns.

It actually, I think it was more like started with like the word emotionary. And I was like, yep, this is it now. So how many words are you up to? I have like, I think like 162 book-ready words. Wow. And then I have a couple still in. I'm going to try to come up with one. Please.

I used to have a thing on that when I was really into it, when I like really was trying to like, I got really busy because I have a ton of projects. Yeah, dude. But like, but when I was really thick into it, I like had a submit section on the website. What do you think of kinetic cunt? Oh, God.

What does it mean? I'm sorry. Well, let's hear him out. I'm not quite sure where he's going with this, but shred lightly. That's great. What if the definition is just noun, a human named Jake?

What's his last name harwoods it's not legrant my fingers are crossed but was the guy from connecticut or you just went to school there no well i tried i'll keep thinking i can don't don't don't worry about me i can i can squeeze words together i can make puns. You'll have 165. Are you going to be self-pun-gradulatory? Oh, very important.

Very pretentious. I forget what I was going to say. The emotionary puns portmanteaus. Oh, all right. Yeah. Okay. It's all out there. Do you want to answer some more questions? I would going to say. The Emotionary, puns, portmanteaus. Oh, all right. Yeah. Okay. It's all out there. Do you want to answer some more questions?

I would love to. All right. What was that noise? Martin is in the kitchen. He shouldn't be here like that. I like that. He shouldn't be here like that. Sorry about that.

He shouldn't be heard like that. We'll have a talk with him after the show. Which question should we answer? maybe a question from a lady i was just telepathy uh oh actually this one's from a girl do you want to read it yeah nice try you're a little too excited don't give her your computer hey dudes school. You have to give her a fake name, too. Okay. I just gave me a fake name the other night because I didn't want a guy to know my name, so I'm going to give her also, and it is Angela.

Angela. Same name as you had the other night. Totally. Okay. Hey, dudes, I'm a high school senior who has a question with a somewhat obvious answer, but I'm still not sure senior who has a question with a somewhat obvious answer. Okay. But I'm still not sure how to handle the situation, so I'm writing in to the only advice podcast

on the internet, hosted by you too. That's funny you said that earlier. Yeah. So that I can move forward. There's this guy I met last year that I thought was pretty cute, so I was kind of disappointed to learn he had a girlfriend. We ended up still becoming friends and still talk today. The issue is the sexual tension between us.

I never acknowledged it, and it never really escalated. I'm so sorry. Halfway through, can I give it to you to read? I realize there's too much pressure, and I'm too bad of a reader. I can read it. You can read it? Okay. I hope people don't get confused if the voice switched.

Oh, my God. I also hate reading aloud. Yeah. yeah whoa but i read this question before so like i can i can handle it it's in your head but yeah like the commas and the fucking oh like the letters don't get me started yeah and then there's spaces what are those like where does one word start and the other one end yeah you shouldn't have put her on the spot like that hey dudes i'm a high school senior who has a question with a somewhat obvious answer but i'm still not sure how to handle the situation so i'm writing into the only advice podcast on the internet hosted by you too so that i can move forward we could probably just cut that out since i just reiterated

what she already said i bet there's this guy i met last year though that i thought was uh pretty cute so i was kind of disappointed to learn he had a girlfriend we ended up becoming friends and still talk today the issue is the sexual tension between us i never acknowledged it and it never really escalated that is until recently i suddenly can't read something about this email that it's it's impossible to read it out he is still with his girlfriend of almost two years Something about this email that it's impossible to read it out loud. It's in hieroglyphics after the second paragraph. He is still with his girlfriend of almost two years. Wow, I really can't read it. He is still with his girlfriend of almost two years now,

but in the past two weeks, our Snapchats have gone from friendly to sexual. I take all the blame here as I initiated sending him daily ass shots. After a week or so, I realized how wrong it was and how bad I'd feel if I were in his girlfriend's position, so I stopped for a few days. But I missed the compliments I was getting, so I pretty much reluctantly answered his request of more pics. This led him wanting me to help cheat on his girlfriend just once. I told him no and talked to me after they broke up even to go

so far as to enter into a virginity pact with him where wherein we would have sex after spring break if he's single parentheses my idea it wasn't enough for him though and he keeps pushing and telling me we basically already cheated on his girlfriend because he and our friend felt me up in my car twice and made me touch their boners as a sort of joke. Anyways, I know it's wrong to cheat and it's certainly against my own moral code, but there's also such things as a side chick, right? But then again, that is also not a great person to be. I really don't know where to go with this, even though I thought I did. I don't want to lose an opportunity because I don't get them a lot right now and I want to have a sexual No pun intended. Oh, she said, please stop doing live shows in places far away. Fine.

Sticuation. Love forever, Angela. A lot of there. This is a confused adolescent. Yeah. This is a teenager who is just swirled with hormones, emotions, feelings, new, old. There's a lot of confusion there. Yes.

One of the most confusing slash funniest sentences was when she said that um i know it's wrong to cheat but there's such a thing as a side chick right yeah that is what that's what the cheating is that's like where the cheaters that's what the cheaters are that's just yeah that's just naming what the bad thing yeah it's like i know murder is illegal but there's such a thing as victims right yeah yeah that's what the murder is such a thing as murderers actually maybe she's maybe she's thinking of a side kick and just didn't know that there was it she's like that's a cool sorry i was trying to you're trying to so many things you're trying to save her um i have questions that i couldn't read and listen at the same time i guess yeah that's another thing did you also people that write in don't have the best grammar so there's a lot of there's it's a lot it's fixing it on the fly yeah you guys this

i have a new respect for how you read and listen to yourself read and like and and give good advice okay so like does she does she know she doesn't know the girlfriend she does uh let's say she does not okay because she's not like friends with her yeah yeah that's personal issue i guess i i just don't like she it sounds like she does like if she initiated i don't know she initiated the the snapchat like it seems like again she's just asking for like someone to be like yeah whatever like it's okay side chicks are a real thing that exist also not just in your head yeah but the side chicks are what the cheaters are doing isn't right but it's not like so fucked up like cheating the final act of like actually i i always equate cheating to a house that you don't want to be in right so like you're this the house is the relationship she shouldn't be like walking around the front lawn

right but you know what it's fine you're allowed to you can peek in through the windows it doesn't make you really bad person totally now she's like kind of ringing the bell and the guy's inviting her in and you can't enter the house once you've entered the cheating house then you're a you're a burglar you're a bad like that's you fucking everything up yeah totally all i can think of is that the cheater would be like a vampire and they have to be invited in. And they're like, they shouldn't be there. But that's...

No, I like that actually. That's pretty nice. They do have to be invited in. They do have to be. And they can... It takes two people to do this. That's true. And I will say, I sometimes get a little defensive of like...

Because again, like girls sometimes it's like, oh, they're a homewrecker. And it's like, well, a homewrecker and it's like well i mean there has to be it's like she it's she's not the one in the relationship and the guy was just complicit in this true i will say that she initiated but then if she did then she's clearly yeah she's okay with it and if she's gonna like at the she's to like look inside of herself and if she's like this is my journey then like she's gonna have and whether it's a mistake or not she's gonna she wants also she's like this is my journey then like she's gonna have and whether it's a mistake or not she's gonna she wants also she's a she's going to college um she's a virgin yeah sounds like there's a lot of because i experience this too a lot of pressure to be like you gotta you

gotta lose it you gotta lose it before college before college yeah why so that it doesn't happen in college i guess i don't know just so you can like go there as like sort of a an adult and like not have to worry about getting laid like if somebody asks you like have you had sex before like yeah yeah you just like want to get certain things out of the way before college i don't know i think it's a pretty nice like a source of shame that like doesn't actually exist in the real world it's just stupid it's like some of the American Pie movie, The Pact. We all have to get laid before college. Yeah. Where'd you go to college?

Nowhere. Fuck yeah. University? Me too. I have to get laid before the college that I'm not going to. Pardon me. Yeah.

That's why I didn't go. Oh, that's why I didn't go. I was like, I didn't lose it. I guess I can't go to college. I'm going to delay it. They actually rescinded your scholarship. It was like birthright all over again well have you been laid oh that's probably why birthright rejected me too oh you gotta put out on birthright that's the whole entire point to make more juice it is i think actually the one thing that i did agree

with the guy on is when he's like we've already cheated no that's not true they have not cheated well they basically have the ass shots and the the that's not talking it's like, we've already cheated. No, that's not true. They have not cheated. Well, they basically have. The ass shots and the talking. That's not cheating. It's bad behavior. It's bad for the relationship. Again, yeah, it's kind of like if she found out, it's like, why did you continue? Why did you open the door?

Why did you continue to open the door? You were so close. Why would you even? You should not have answered the door. If she likes this guy, she can't cheat with him. That will be an unfulfilling thing for both of them. Because this guy will feel shitty that he cheated on his girlfriend. She'll feel shitty that the guy doesn't really like her.

He just wanted to see her ass in person. And then the girlfriend in this relationship has no idea she got cheated on. Yeah. What do you all think of this virginity pact? That was actually a foolproof idea. She promised to have sex with him if he broke up with his girlfriend right oh is that what oh right because he oh yeah he's not obviously he's having he's having sex with his girlfriend now yeah it's just her this seems one although i think we're not addressing this guy kind of seems like a douche this guy's a huge asshole yeah he's like begging to cheat on it that's a good point this guy is like begging this girl to help him cheat on his girlfriend yeah because he doesn't want all the moral responsibility like i'm sorry she's the one

sending me ass photos i'm not doing anything but then he's also looking at more photos right yeah it sounds like also if like the sexual tension just like built slowly over two years, maybe he was, maybe he knew it. He was, I just learned this term, hip pocket. He hip pocketed her. Oh, I hadn't heard the term, but I immediately understand it. Well, they talk about that like with agents in Hollywood. Yes. You hip pocket people.

That's exactly where I learned it. Hip pocket and pick pocket. Yeah, not quite the same, but definitely two terms. They definitely rhyme. But that is cool. If you hip pocket somebody, then somebody else is going to pickpocket. Yeah, not quite the same, but definitely two terms. They definitely rhyme. But that is cool. If you hip pocket somebody, then somebody else is going to pickpocket you. Oh, you can pickpocket my hip pocket? Yeah.

What? This, I just, I can't get over, like, they're both so complicit in this. Like, he wants to cheat, and she's like, she's, I don't think she's doing a very good thing. Because, like, it sounds like left to his own devices devices he might not have wanted to cheat on his girlfriend and she's like i don't sorry i don't know she's she's tempting him and he's responding to it but then she's not liking his response to it she's like no only if you're single and then she'll stop but then she does send him nude pictures yeah it seems she has to cut him off like he's not he's a he's gonna keep on asking he's not gonna break up with his girlfriend true if she if she can see if she like is she's denying she's like totally ignoring if it is a red flag for her

if it is a discrepancy indicator red flags in an emotional baby drop the mic actually it's expensive i know but if she is choosing to if like like what i want to know what she wants out of this did she actually want like a relationship or does she actually just want like i just want to have sex with him she wants some action i don't know if she really wants a relationship she didn't necessarily say that to me it feels like she's dis pursuinguing him. Oh my God, you're on the, I was like, how did you do that? That's right. Dispursue, according to the emotionary, is to actively seek out disappointment.

Yes. Dispursuing, that's what she's doing. Yeah. She's going down a road that will ultimately end with her unsatisfied because her first experience is gonna be marred by this guilty feeling of breaking up a relationship. So she should just wait and see if this guy breaks up with this lady and if he does then she can get

it on but i wouldn't they break up she's got to remove herself from this situation cheating is bad it's wrong it's you can never do it and you can't get yourself involved with other people's relationships no i wouldn't say that you can never do it i would say it's wrong but it's exactly kind of like if you're going to act conscious to be conscious about it if you're gonna say you know what like i'm not in the relationship and i'm just gonna be okay with this like bat like he's he's especially if like he was pursuing you or whatever i on like i would feel i i cry when i like if i hurt someone's feelings like just like by accident so i couldn't do it if you want to, if you like can shut that part off for a second and you want to. I don't think like, like, I don't think it's if you're not in the relationship, I would say like, that's your choice.

Again, like I support you on your journey. Do it. But it doesn't sound like it isn't. I don't think in this situation that I think you're right that you should just wait. Agreed. I sound like I'm totally condoning cheating. I don't think in this situation that I think you're right that she should just wait agreed I sound like I'm totally condoning cheating right now but like that's the you can't condone cheating because you're just because this girl wants to cheat you're like you're also hurting the girl in the relationship right that's she's a victim she's like a complete victim that gets no say in

this at all and the guy's wrong and this girl's wrong. They're both wrong to varying degrees and that could be debated. But it's all bad. You should like, and she's got all the power that she can remove herself from the situation. Yeah. I guess I'm just,

I feel like if it's like, if a guy, let's say, like actively pursues you, like really, really goes for it, it's kind of not necessarily like it's not your responsibility to save their relationship it's kind of like all right homie like you should oh you should break up with her but if you're not gonna like you should just do that and if you're chill with it it's like i don't if you don't even want if you don't necessarily want

a relationship like i just want to have sex with you if you're gonna fuck up your relationship like that's on you yeah yeah but you don't ever want to be the vessel for somebody to fuck up their relationship. No. You won't have to get into the fight with the with the ex the same way the guy will. But like it's I don't know. It's still some sort of like aiding and abetting a bad situation. Totally. I like it doesn't I don't think it behooves her in any way.

Like if she's just trying to get ass, she can find sexual tension with somebody that's single. a bad situation. Totally. And like, it doesn't, I don't think it behooves her in any way. Like, if she's just trying to get ass, she can find sexual tension with somebody that's single. Totally. Totally. I agree with that. I agree.

And I bet if she starts, like, hooking up with somebody else, this dude will, like, feel the fire under his ass and be like, all right,

maybe I do need to get out of my relationship because I have feelings for this girl. Yeah, totally. So really quickly, what's your bit of advice?

Don't do anything else anymore. Don't set up. Cut start hooking up that other friend who's boner that you felt in the car he's single yeah that guy seems like a good dude nobody's talking about boner too we should be thinking about the second boner i think there's the reason he starts asking for the nude photos and he starts saying like, please cheat on me is because she's like, was because she stopped doing stuff. And I think if she really stuck to her guns and did like cold turkey, he would like, he'd come to her or she'd forget about him. One thing would happen, but it's not worth it to hang in the limbo. Yeah.

I would, if I was like, like same as like if i were not to a stranger like i was just giving advice to my friend i would say no don't exactly exactly don't don't don't do it you can yeah i would i've never seen this girl but i can tell you she is a probably sister yes a strong beautiful independent woman you can get out wherever. By the way, I would have cheated on my girlfriend. Yeah. No, obviously. Yeah. I mean, this is.

I'm giving advice because I've been in this situation so many times and it's blown up every time and never been good. Learn from Jake's mistakes. This girl's only 17. There's still time. Yeah. Or fail and then you can learn from your own mistakes. Yeah.

So she should go for it. She should feel the rejection. She should feel the relationship slipping away. trust she is going to do that okay so it doesn't matter what we say i'm telling her i'm telling her to do the right thing she will not that way at least we're morally absolved of any problems that should be like why we also tell people to use condoms uh cool eden thank you for coming all the way here being on our show talking about your stuff talking about these these troubled youths that need our advice we really appreciate it i mean thank you i really

only count because i know the troubled youths i just like like buy my book eventually yeah yeah you're trying as soon as you guys are all in the free and clear and you saw stars with your dad and you're all hydrated from the camelback fucking oh yeah buy my book the emotionary is a book it will be the emotionary will be a book you can go to theemotionary.com with a hyphen right now highly suggest you also buy the non-hyphenated version we'll talk about it after the show i can hop you on namecheap.com we can we can squat some domain names i can url forward i can mask it it's gonna look seamless you're not even you're not even gonna realize that you already bought it all right

dude relax i actually just bought it i'll sell it to you for twelve dollars but in all seriously i just want to say like sincerely like thank you for having me and i i love you guys this is this is so much fun you're great you're really great come back anytime literally anytime next week the week after, five episodes. Actually, we're going to record in a few days if you want to just crash. This is a pretty comfy couch.

Yeah, lock the door so that she can't leave. Marty! Get the pitchfork. Are you on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat? Do you snap? I do not snap.

I don't understand Snapchat. It always makes me feel old. I am on Twitter. Yes, I'm on Twitter yes i'm on i'm on twitter and i'm on instagram sweet yeah just find it eat and share yeah oh your name's nice that's a good work early adopter solid uh all right the uh if you have your own questions or your own theme song that email address for everything is if i were you show at gmail.com the opening one again was from jacob legrand and this closing one is from somebody named Chad Salad.

How's that for a name? Chad Salad. That's good. We got kale and salad. It's healthy. All right. We'll be back next week. Thanks for listening, everybody.

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