Segments - 226: Hot Tutor (w/Ramou Sarr!)

Episode Date: July 25, 2016

Friend/Fellow HeadGum Podcaster Ramou Sarr is in the studio to discuss dogs, boobs, and Bieber. This episode is brought to you by Framebridge.com and NatureBox.com! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Then get a small fry, a small drink, and a four-piece McNuggets. That's a lot of McDonald's for not a lot of money. Get the $5 meal deal today. Prices and participation may vary for a limited time only. if i were you if i were you you yeah dude that sounded like he was falling asleep he was falling asleep it was like that thing you do on quades that was eric lori and this is ramu hi you had you had the attitude of you weren't gonna say a thing until i said your name i know i wasn't sure if i should because i was like oh the it

totally did sound like that thing you do it was very reminiscent yeah but i was like do i talk yet i wasn't sure do do do do yeah that was a great movie by the way that it was a great movie that's a great fucking song i heard it again recently didn't tom hanks write that song or movie or something movie the guy from fountains of wayne wrote that song wow stacy's mom oh okay what a great get is when you write a movie and then it also has a great song in it. And then it's like, oh, we can use this song because it was written for the movie. Can you imagine the pressure? Like, it all hinges.

Like, that guy has to write a super catchy song. It's all about, like, the biggest hit, you know? Is it hard to write a catchy song or is it hard to write a good song? Like, is it easier to write a catchy song if it doesn't have to be quote unquote good i guess like what do they say now there's that there's like just the pop machine and yeah there's like a formula but i don't know if if there always was a formula or like at least a system like there is now when that movie was written it was probably kind of hard i think catchy songs though are good i think we get too stuck on what's you know what's good hey you don't have to

tell me twice i'm all about that top 40 i'm in it yeah it doesn't like the human body doesn't i don't know yeah like if you hate pop music it do you still do you still listen to it and it's just as catchy but you don't like that it's catchy like when i hear like uh megan trainer's song and i'm like oh i really like it because it's stuck in my head my thing is no my son is i do like that one right yeah i don't care for her but i do like that it's catchy it is catchy so if you hate that song like oh that's such a pop song and i don't like catchy songs is beethoven getting stuck in your head yeah or does it get stuck in your head and that's a negative thing or does it not get stuck in your head at all because you don't like i think it gets stuck in their head and that's a negative thing? Or does it not get stuck in your head at all because you don't like it? I think it gets stuck in their head.

They just don't want to talk about it. We're clearly a room full of people that like Top 40. Although I'll tell you what Top 40 thing I don't like is Nick Jonas. You know what? I'm not sure which one he is. Which one is he? There's Nick and Joe that are doing things now, right? Nick Jonas is the one who's like, I still get jealous, which I really don't.

You still like his lyrics, but that song's catchy. And I don't like that song. And then he has a new song that's all about getting closer and it's also really bad. I don't know. Whatever.

This isn't, it doesn't matter. I had to cut myself off because I could talk about this for literally nine more seconds and another song I don't like. Ramu, thanks for coming on the show. Thank you for having me.

Ramu is a podcaster on the HeadGum Network. Yeah, I am. Black Girls Talking. Black Girls Talking is, it's for black girls talking. Yes. It's great. But not for black girls talking. Oh, yeah.

It's for black girls listening. It is both. It's for both. It not for black girls talking oh yeah it's for black girls listening it is both it's for both it's for black girls talking we are for black girls talking and for black girls listening and for anybody else but like we're not that we don't care if you aren't here for us really yeah is your just kidding listening listen to us i like that vibe is your target demo uh black girls yes uh do you want like ours is jewish boys little jewish boys oh come here little jewish boy let me let me follow you home jew boy yes just like that just like that uh but i think your show sort of transcends that, no? Yes. It's not just for that specific audience. I can listen to it.

I remember I was listening to, we recorded a live podcast at South by Southwest at our house. And it was so interesting. I was sitting, I'm sitting there with a recorder, the Zoom recorder listening, and it's four black girls talking and 25 black people in a room and then me recording it and i'm like i feel like i'm a fly on the wall of a conversation i wouldn't necessarily hear

otherwise yeah i mean i think that is good to hear i'm glad that you felt that way and i think that sometimes we do get emails like from white people and sometimes they're good and sometimes they're not but we don't really care if they're not. What's a good email versus a bad? It's like, hey, I'm really learning from you guys. And when people – when white people say to us, like, you don't need to acknowledge that I'm doing a good thing by, like, listening to you and saying – like, you don't have to respond to this. That's always nice when we get that. They're not asking for that. Atta boy.

Right. Yeah, they're not asking for us. I'm one of the good ones. Yeah. And I get it yeah but you also you reviewed like a drake album on there and yeah that felt like it was for me too i i got into it okay yeah we do like certain bonus apps where they're with people that like one or two of us are really into so that was definitely an alicia episode i'm sure the drink she does drake watch

yeah i'm the bieber watch oh you love bieber oh my god i fucking love justin i love him how do you talk about great pop songs i like i don't really have that many feelings about drake yeah oh really it's fine that's interesting because you wouldn't feel about justin bieber yeah get out of here you wouldn't you wouldn't guess by looking at you like drake's fine whatever but bie Bieber is your favorite. Bieber, I'm a little worried about him recently, but I do love him. Recently?

He's all off that stage. He's, like, super depressed. If you go on his Instagram, he's, like, he did a, it was, like, a FaceTime. It was just a selfie, but it was a FaceTime, and the caption was, like, where are you now when I need you? And I was, like, pick up the fucking phone. Who is he calling? Why are you not answering his phone?

Like, he's screaming out for help fever alert fever alert fever's not doing well well we have some emails from some people who aren't doing well either

okay that was a great segue yeah did I tell you that dude sorry I just wanted to talk about pop songs even more oh okay yeah and those people

are Nick Jonas I mean I just he still gets jealous it is his right It is his right. It is his right to be hellish. These are, oh, sorry,

I should say that this is an advice show, an advice podcast. If anybody's listening for the first time, big remove fans that are like, all right, I'll, I'll check out this other show that she's on. I'll bite.

If you're, what you're listening to is if I were you, it's actually an advice podcast, the only advice podcast on the internet, hosted by myself and Jake. Sometimes it's just Jake and I dispensing wisdom. Sometimes we have a friend in the room. Today we have Ramu in the room.

Should I say your last name or it doesn't matter? You can say my last name. Do you know how to say my last name? Why don't you say it? Sar. Sar. Sar. Ramu Sar in the house.

So these are questions, real emails from real people. Do you know how it works, how we give them fake names? I do know how it works, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we're going to give these people fake names just to preserve their anonymity. The first one is written by a British boy. Do you have a British boy's name? Harry Styles. That's actually a really British boy's name? Harry Styles. That's actually a really British boy's name.

That's crazy. Is that his real name? That's crazy. I think so. His actual full name is Harrison Stylish. Oh, that's really good. Where does he land on your Drake to Bieber scale? He's not on my scale.

Oh, he's not on there. Wow, not even that good. No, he's not on it. Shout out to the stratosphere. I love you, Harrison Stylish. Harrison Style-shish writes, Sticky Sitch, I suck at math, so to get grinds from my... What?

So I get grinds from my hot neighbor. Is that a British term? I think it's a British term for, like, she's tutoring him. She has a tiny little dog a jack russell i think anyway every wednesday when i go for the grind i have to walk from the gate to the front door ring the bell and wait for an answer the problem is this little dog is vicious it waits for me at the gate beckoning me to enter nipping at my ankles until i'm safe and then I have to face it all over again after an hour of math. To make matters worse, my hot neighbor will always insist his bark is bigger than his bite,

he's harmless, or my favorite, don't worry, he won't bite, when the truth is he bites me every time, sometimes twice. Last time the little bitch nipped me, he drew blood. My ankles are in agony and I can't even focus on the math i don't want to tell my neighbor to lock the dog away when i arrive because i'll seem like a coward and i've said it twice now and she's indeed hot what should i do should i just show her the bite marks sometimes i run through the garden as if i was late for the math lesson just to get inside faster. Yeah.

Thanks so much for listening, you guys, or for listening to my question. Let me know what I should do. Love, Harry Styles. I love Harry Styles. You love Harry Styles or this Harry Styles? I love this Harry Styles. This is not where I was seeing this. I did not see this question going here at all.

An angry biting doggy boy? No. i had an angry biting dog growing up have you ever experienced it yeah chico um no we had a dog growing up but he was a barker yeah yeah yeah so i didn't bite her i didn't even know biting dogs existed until chico entered my life this little uh 20 pound american eskimo uh fluff ball very cute but he had this little tooth that wouldn't stay in his mouth when he closed his mouth that won't quit yeah and and he would he was so protective and uh annoying that he would like if you stood close to his food he'd growl like and then you're like oh shit that means chico's on high alert but then if you took fucking one inch forwards or back because he smelled fear he would bite you and I'm not talking

about my friends. Wait he lived to be like 15? Yeah he refused to die 15 years of that. He stared God in the face and growled and bit his fucking his ankles and God's like no stay alive Were you happy when Chico died? I wasn't happy it was a little sad because by the end he was so old

his back legs didn't even work. He was urinating. My mom had to cut human diapers in half and put it on him. So even Chico, as evil doggy in his old age, still garnered some sympathy because he was an old white fluff ball of a dog. But when he was in his prime, I had friends that wouldn't come to my house because they were legit scared to see Chico.

Or they would come and they would like stand on the chairs and they'd be like, this isn't funny. I don't like it. Chico was like four pounds. You wouldn't have it scary. So what did you do? Well, it was scary because he would yip and nip you. We would go upstairs, lock the door or like put Chico away. But Chico didn't like that.

Chico burned the house down house chico said not today here's another cute sad story about chico real quick uh he hated the mailman as most dogs do but him even more so because once again chico is an evil little boy uh and one day he crawled out from underneath uh the side gate and he just like went off and fucking chased after the mailman. And we're like, oh no. And then he came back 30 seconds later covered in this orange spray paint. And he was crying and whimpering.

And the mailman had maced Chico. Well, I think that's Harry's answer then. So eager to mace Chico. Yeah, you know know that's not bad yeah Harry could just abuse the dog like on the way

and just give it one quick kick to the chin you ever sit on you ever accidentally step on a dog and you hear like yeah

oh yeah yeah yeah that's really sad yeah so I here's something I know about dogs they respond to you

two different types of training one is like praise and treat based, like good job. You reward them for good behavior. Positive reinforcement. And then the other one is negative yelling and hitting. Like they poop on the floor and you rub their nose.

Yeah, punish the nose. Right. Or reward the yeas. But I feel like if Harry just lines his pockets with little treats. Oh, yeah, that's good. Then every single time he just gives the doggy a little treat, there you go. Yeah. The problem is when you have a scary dog, you don't want to put your hands next to him because he's drawn blood on your ankles.

So I guess you can take it out and throw it at him. Yeah, before you open the gate, you shake the treat in front of his face. Hey, buddy. Hey. All right, man. I guess you can take it out and throw it at him. Yeah, before you open the gate, you shake the treat in front of his face. Throw it. Hey, buddy. Hey. All right. All right, man. He's eating my hand.

Why? Is it considered not manly or cool to be afraid of a dog? Is that what he's afraid of? I mean, it sounds like he has reason to be afraid of this dog if his ankles are bleeding every day. Do you have a dog? I don't have a dog. Do you have a dog? I don't have a dog. Do you have a cat?

I don't have a cat. Do you have a hamster? I have no pets. A turtle. It's just me and myself. But if a boy in your life was afraid of your pet? He's got to go. Yeah, I think.

Yeah. The boy has to go or the pet has to go. The boy's got to go. I think that's what I would do. I've heard a lot of ladies being like, I love my cat. I love my dog. So you got to get along with that pooch. Yeah, I think that's what I would do. I've heard a lot of ladies being like, I love my cat. I love my dog. So you got to get along with that pooch. Yeah, I think that's...

Like more so than any... Especially a new relationship. Well, Harry Styles is not... Well, he has a relationship with this person. No, yeah. But it's not... He just has a crush. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But it's also his tutor. Yeah, I mean, he's grinding her for math. Here's the thing. And if he cares... Like, say this dog barks at everybody. If he can, like, make it so this dog doesn't bark at him and this dog likes him, then he becomes a little more attractive to that girl. Yeah, because he's been able to. It's like, oh, my God, that dog hates everybody. What's your magical quality?

Like if somebody was able to tame Chico. Chico never bit me. Right. I used to pick Chico up. You met him late in life though. He was already an old man. He was dead at that point. You know how we killed Chico, right?

What? No, I don't like where that's going either. I don't either. Yeah, I'm sure we just put them down in a very sensible way. No, I wasn't there. I just got a text message from my mom. I was living in New York. But it was an appointment.

You guys made an appointment. Yeah. She just texted me. It happened. And I felt it became cloudy that day. And the lightning that day struck all of my friends growing up. It was one last attack that Chico orchestrated. I like the treat idea.

Do you have anything that beats the treat idea? Drug. You can drug this dog. You should drug this dog. Make them calm. Give them some Prozac. You could combine that with the treat idea. Is it a treat or is it abuse?

Which one is it? Yeah. It's just a treat. Although dog medicine isn't the deal like you wrap it in food. Yes. Oh, yeah. So wrap a little Prozac and some hamburger. Yeah.

Then you're like studying math. You look over and the dog just like keels over. You're like, all right, let's see here. I'm just doing my math problems. Don't notice that your dog is fainted. Not breathing. Is that trying to kill the dog? No, it's to calm the dog down.

Yeah. But I feel like you have to sneak over there an hour before your lesson, give the dog the Prozac, and then wait for it to get drowsy. And then take one yourself. I'm still picturing him running over to pretend like he's late.

Is that what he's saying? Oh, here I am. Oh, I'm so late for the lesson oh oh sorry it hurts me to be this late is he sleeping with his tutor is that what grind is that that's what he wants to do oh but he's he's trying to grind her yeah i think grind is what this uh wherever he's from is how you say tutor because i grind america is neighbor. Grinding in America is a very sexy thing that he might want to do with his tutor. Yeah, so it works in two ways. All right, I guess drug the dog, feed the dog.

Treats. Treats. Act cool. How about this? Two layers of socks, thicker shoes. That way you're padded. You're not scared if he bites you. If he bites you, he's not even drawing blood.

I still think treats and winning the dog over are a way to your tutor's heart, which is not something you necessarily asked for, but given you for free. Yeah. Congrats, dude. All right. Let's get another male, 23-year-old male college student. Nick Carter. Really?

Yeah. I'm sticking with the boy bands. I'm doing boy bands. Did you like Nick Carter really yeah I'm sticking with the boy bands I'm doing boy bands did you like Nick Carter I was you know there was like the big Backstreet Boys

versus NSYNC rivalry I was definitely team Backstreet but then I went to team Justin Timberlake oh interesting

that's totally different team that's true yeah I totally switched teams but now I'm not Justin I'm like I've

moved away from Justin Timberlake oh really yeah you're Bieber over Timber in terms of your Justin fandom. Oh, absolutely.

Absolutely. Yes. Did you guys know that Nick Carter, if you want to feel old for a second, is 48? Insane. No, that is not true. I want to feel older. That is not a thing. I want to feel older.

You're right. It's not true. It's not a thing. It's definitely not true. But Howie Day. Howie Day is 53. No, I think Howie it is more like 75 permission to look up nick carter's age uh i'll say i probably know his exact age can i guess 39 wow no i don't

think he's that much older than me maybe he is well what's your guess he's probably 45 he probably is that age. Oh, wow. I really don't know. Wait, Nick Carter's not Aaron. Oh, shit. I should have announced this guess. I had a thought and different number in my head, and it was that.

What did you say? Wait, okay. Are we guessing Nick Carter's birthday? 39? No, no, no. We're guessing his age. His age. He is 37. I'll say 39.

He's 36. Fuck! And I was going to guess 36. How old is his daddy, though? Search Nick Carter's daddy's age. I bet it's over 40. Wow, Aaron Carter does not look hot right now. Nick Carter went through a phase where he was not hot.

Nick Carter's looking fucking good right now. But he looks great now. Yeah, he looks good. Nick Carter's back? Yeah. Oh, there's a Backstreet Country album in the works. Holy shit. Nick Carter's looking fucking good but he looks great now yeah he looks good Nick Carter's back? yeah oh there's like a there's a Backstreet Country album in the works

holy shit they're still going they won't give up they've got this long hair that's really nice alright alright alright let's read a fucking question okay

we don't need we don't need Jake's live commentary on Nick Carter's new haircut it's fucking amazing really though yeah let me see that

is it long? oh yeah is it long? I don't know if i like the long how i think it looks cool oh it's like a mane that looks like from where i'm sitting that looks like ellen degeneres like nick carter who's also a good looking girl i once said that i had ellen's haircut thoughts i believe that yeah i believe that tweet all right i believe that you said that i'm a 23 year old male college student and i wanted to get your advice on a topic that i don't uh think you've talked about on the show before i met this girl recently who has everything i want in a mate

she's funny she's nerdy she's gorgeous she's chinese she checks off all the boxes and i'm pretty sure she's single i'm pretty sure she's single. I'm pretty sure she's single. So I want to ask her out. The only problem is I have because of a brief comment she made, I think she might be pregnant. She's turning 20 next month. And she said she'll quote no longer be a teen pregnancy. And I can't figure out if she was referring to an actual situation or a hypothetical one. I was also kind of noisy in the room, so I might have misheard it entirely. To make matters even more confusing, she has a bit of a noticeably round belly for her physique, but one that's within the realm of just being a normal body shape, so I can neither confirm nor deny her

gestational status just by looking at her. I met her at a school club, so it's not like I've been seeing her at a nightclub or some other place where only people open to romantic advances would go. Is there some way I can tactfully find out if she's pregnant or not, so I can know whether or not it's okay to ask her out? It can be awkward enough just to figure out whether someone's single or not based on context clues, and figuring out whether or not someone's pregnant is a whole different level of awkward

that I've never had to deal with or even thought about before. I could just completely forget about her, but she's a total dime, and I don't want to pass over the chance that I misunderstood something. Jesus Christ. Grow up, Nick.

She's not pregnant pregnant she made a joke and you misunderstood her but what if she is so neurotic he's not he's so far from me he doesn't even know if he's gonna ask her out she might say no yeah but what if she says yes she probably will say no well what if she's pregnant you'll find out if she's if she's pregnant, you'll find out if she's pregnant. Would you want to date someone who's pregnant? I wouldn't want to, like, fucking ask. You just don't need to know. I think you need to know. I mean, I think he could just ask her, but I think she was joking. I think she was like, oh, there's no chance now that I'm going to be a teen mom.

Then explain the noticeably round belly for her physique. Every time you're asking somebody out, you ask if they're pregnant first? No, but I never assume that they are. I see. You're saying like you assume most people aren't. I assume they are not. I assume that people aren't pregnant. But what if somebody that you were thinking about dating made a pregnancy joke and you're 50% sure, would you still ask her out?

If it was a joke. If it was a joke, then yeah, I would still ask her out. And what if it was not a joke if it was a joke then yeah i would still ask her out and what if it was not a joke then i guess i'd be pretty interested to know her relationship to the father and like what her situation actually is so you'd go on one date with her for sure that's a thing that you can do how about this ask her out anyway it's only one day that and then i'm sure it'll come up on the date yes oh you should you should ask her out for drinks also she's 19 and made a joke about being pregnant because that's that's another way to find out if like now they can't her out for drinks. Also, she's 19 and made a joke about being pregnant.

Because that's another way to find out if like... They can't go out for drinks yet, can they? Yeah, but most 19 to 20 year olds drink anyway. But yeah, I guess they can't legally go to a bar unless it's abroad. But that's a way for... I'm of the age now that some of my friends and their wives are like, maybe pregnant, maybe not. Or like they don't want to announce it yet. And one way to find out is if they were drinking at the party. the age now that some of my friends and their wives are like maybe pregnant maybe not or like they don't want to announce it yet and one way to find out is if they were drinking at the party

yeah i noticed she wasn't drinking anything so that's a thing that's a little clue or so what i've been doing is i've been telling the pregnant ladies yeah so i've been doing like do a couple shots like that's not a big deal my dad's a gynecologist i'm sure like he would he would let me know if it was actually dangerous right so i've gotten a pregnant girl nine months completely hammered shit face with this this weird plot that i have just to like sort of create this just tell them to do a couple shots yeah well i'll tell them to do a couple shots and then by the time we're five shots deep it's like wait i thought you were pregnant even at nine months they're questioning it because of the alcohol i mean nine months that baby's fine the baby's it's already almost yeah it's already a fully formed

bun in the oven this is not real i don't know if that's real sorry it's true nine months did seem more dangerous but maybe it's less dangerous the more informed it is i mean yeah i guess i don't know enough but tell you what my parents, however much they drank while my mom was pregnant, they did most of the fucking me up while I was getting raised. You know what I mean? What do you mean? You were still attached to your mommy with an umbilical cord until the age of 10. Was she still drinking?

Like a little child leash. Yeah. I refused to let the doctor cut it. You need to cut it. That's about an umbilical cord. Uh-huh. So I think we're all on the same page. Ask her out anyway.

Ask her out. Or just ask her if she's, are they friends? He says they're friends. They're friendly enough to be hanging out. Yeah, I think you should also just ask her if she's pregnant. I think you could ask that. I think you should ask it. I don't know.

But he should get a date out of it anyway. But it's always a weird question because it's like I don't want to say like, are you pregnant? And then it's like Are you fat? Right. Yeah, you're right. He should go on a date. She's not pregnant. She's not. You're right. He misunderstood a joke, I think. There's no way to like

accidentally have her take a pregnancy test, right? I think it would definitely involve you like needing to get her to pee on something so it's pretty fucked up right like it's or like as like a goof say like hey let's try it out let's i'll take pregnancy test yeah i'll take one too what did yours say had somebody over and you and they were like i have to go to the bathroom and you're like oh well don't flush because like my plumbing is a little messed up this seems like a sick a plot to a sitcom yeah yeah or but i don't know if like the water dilutes it or what i don't know yeah i don't

think you can do that that was definitely in something i'll look it up later but it was like we on they unplugged the plumbing and then they had they like kept drink feeding her water so that she would pee in the toilet. Does it sound familiar to anybody? It sounds like it would have happened on Seinfeld or Keenan and Kel. Mr. Belvedere or all that were the two shows that I was thinking of. I feel like just generally, though, this guy is suffering from something a lot of our listeners do, which is thinking about a problem five steps in front of your current situation. Yeah, it's the opposite of being cool. This guy, all he does is he likes a girl kind of.

And he wants to, like, it's hard enough asking her out. He's like five steps ahead thinking about asking her if she's pregnant first. Yeah. That's a way harder question. Yeah, don't worry about that yet. But when you do, then you can ask her. All right. Let's take a break.

And we'll be right back with more questions and answers with Ramu and Pals. That's the name of the show, Ramu and Pals. Oh, great. Quick note to let y'all know that we're conducting an audience survey at gum.fm slash segments. And we want to hear from you guys to keep making content you love. Exactly. It's a survey that lets us know what you think about the ad experience. But in order to do that, we need to know a little bit more about you, our audience.

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Take this survey, and we will read the results. It's gum.fm slash s-e-g-m-e-n-t-s cool sorry i have to spell it out for some people yeah you do thank you to squarespace for sponsoring this episode of our show hell yeah jake you've been building on squarespace for decades at this point exactly eons it feels like yes So you know how easy it is to use their simple, intuitive, drag and drop design technology? Yes, yes, yes. Easy to create, easy to sell, easy to promote. Squarespace is my all-in-one, first stop, one-stop shop. Yeah. It's kind of funny that they have also award-winning customer support because it's so

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It's not available. Yeah. But how'd you like to own Freaky Tuesday? Interesting. Freaky Tuesday. So that's when you run into each other and some parts of your personality change, but ultimately it's not a full body swap. Right. Mostly you're just concussed. Yeah, which is new. It's kind of like having a new personality. Yeah.

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the greatest way to do that is to head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, just use that coupon code SEGMENTS to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Hell yeah. So again, you go to squarespace.com slash segments. Segments. You save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Hell yeah. So again, you go to squarespace.com slash segments. Segments.

You save 10% off your first purchase and then use the coupon code segments when you're ready to launch that free trial. Enjoy. Thank you, Squarespace. And we are returned. Ramu. Yes. What's the deal with your podcast?

How can people listen to it? What can people expect? Why should people listen to it what can people expect why should people listen to it and why should they expect and who else is on it okay it's myself it's three other black women fatima alicia and aurelia okay i don't need i don't need to blow up your spot but i met fatima and aurelia and they're both asian they are both asian yeah they're not actually yes it's a lot it's all it's all it's not true but you know i was we were hoping we could make ireland we were hoping we could like make it through for oh all right sorry about thank you thank you for doing that no okay fine they're

all four black women we're four black women um you can find us on itunes or on soundcloud or blackgirlstalking.com or on Twitter at BLKGirlsTalking. You're all over the place. We're all over the place. We talk a lot about pop culture, black girl shit, music. Like sometimes we have strayed a little bit from like topical stuff. And sometimes we just like talk about whatever we want to talk about. Yeah.

And we've been recently doing like more. We were calling them bonus episodes. So we stopped calling them that because they're just our regular episodes. I think I mentioned this before, one or two of us with people we're really into to diversify our content. Excellent use of diversifying content. Black Girls Talking, I feel like,

is one of HeadGum's biggest success stories because you guys started off as a smaller show, but you guys' traffic has doubled and tripled and quadrupled since then, as it finds an show but you guys's traffic is like doubled and tripled and quadrupled since then as it finds an audience and you guys find a voice yeah it's been really exciting we do um joke about because we're like how the hell did we end up on head gum because it's like all their friends and then hey guys we're the black girls talking it's very funny but we're very glad to be here well Well, we're happy to have you. Thank you.

It helps to not have just shows on your network that's all white Jews talking. I mean, yeah. Yeah, I think it does help. Yeah. Yeah. And you guys are definitely... You should tell other networks that. Well, then our competitive advantage goes away.

That's true. That's true. Never mind. Don't tell anyone. I'd be fearful of that. You guys saw each other... You all met for the first time at Austin. No, the first time was in New York. We all met in New York maybe two or three years ago,

but that was the second time we'd all met up together. Have you guys seen each other since then? I've seen Alicia for Beyonce. We went to Beyonce together, but I haven't seen the others. You went to Beyonce in LA? Yeah. That's pretty crazy. You guys are four hosts and you've only met like two or three times correct yeah and you have you have a podcast together but you guys none of you live in the same city right it's weird but it's always nice to hear when people don't know that everyone thinks we're in new york we get all these emails like come to

this event we're like none of us have ever like we don't live in new york but it's nice that people can't tell that we're not recording together right that is a good that's a sneaky little move job on us it's it's not as big of a bombshell as two of them being asian but i know i can't believe you i can't believe you out of told people that have you guys thought about just like doing an expansion thing like asian girls talking girls talking well maybe we should cut this out because that's a great idea yeah i don't want anyone to steal it. So Jake's going to be saying, have you ever thought of, and then we'll have this beep, this dial tone, and then I'll come back

and be like, maybe we should cut that out because that's a great idea. Okay, great. Alright, great. Perfect. We have a few more questions and answers that could really use your wisdom. Are you willing to stick around for a little while and impart some more? Yes, I hope my wisdom is helpful. So far it's been imparted for sure. we need how about how about a lady's name oh a lady's name um debbie

gibson holy shit is that uh do your listeners know who debbie gibson i don't know who debbie gibson you don't know who debbie gibson is no is that a jonas no it's like an 80s female rock star right um what was hers i don't remember what her she had like a song debbie did she do listen to your heart no no that was taylor dane that was a great song wow i think that was a taylor dane taylor dane cook uh i should know i should know debbie a debbie gibson song sorry debbie gibson writes i got married at 23 to a man who i started dating at 21 he's six years older than me and was my first boyfriend since high school. No dating in college, just fucking random dudes.

I have always had issues with men and confidence. And although aging as a woman is scary, one thing is for sure. I am grateful for the confidence I've gained as I have turned 30. I have a career. And I think I've been told that I'm funny, smart, and attractive, and I feel fairly grounded for who I am. That is in every aspect but my marriage. I might be a success story in that my husband used to be abusive, largely mentally, but a little physical. He drinks a lot, but has calmed that down too, but he's still drunk four to five nights a week. A few weeks ago, he told me that he was no longer attracted to me, and I reacted severely. I have slept with five other men since then,

one of whom I really have feelings for. For obvious reasons, he's not down. I'm married. I have left a bunch, and I have incurred like $10,000 in debt getting my own place and furniture two times now, and he keeps reeling me back in to that shit storm i'm ignored talk to like a child i feel alone and unwanted and it's so hard to reject advances in this situation we are in counseling but i don't know if i can ever really commit i wish someone would either tell me girl you got a good man marriage is hard as fuck stick it out out, be grateful. Or, bitch, no, your doubts are legit as fuck, get out, you will recover, you will have a home, and maybe even an awesome man again someday, power through. Am I awful? Am I out of touch with reality? Or do I have the right to want a different and better

man in my life? I have to fight either way, But what's the right way? Sorry, can I just jump in and say, girl, you got a good marriage. You have a good man. Make it work. Make it work, work, work, work, work. No, Debbie. Yeah, Jesus. Debbie knows what she needs to do.

She knows exactly what she needs to do. She said it in her letter. She also did it twice. She accrued $10,000 worth of debt doing what she needs to do so why is she said it in her letter she also did it twice she she accrued ten thousand dollars worth of debt doing what she needed to do a lot of wisdom comes with 30 and she's i think she's she's like i there's no reason to keep doing this when you're 25 you accept a lot of shit that you shouldn't accept because you don't know because there is part of you that's like maybe every relationship is hard and maybe everybody that's in a happy marriage was once in a shitty marriage and they stuck it out. Well, I do think marriage is hard.

And I think people don't talk about that enough. I think marriage is hard and it should be. It's work. But he's abusive. He's a drunk. There's no reason for you to still be there. I mean, he's down to being drunk to five nights a week. I mean, I guess that's progress.

He's taking Mondays and Thursdays off. but it worries me that she spent so much money like moving out twice already yeah and she's cheating on him this is i mean she's hanging on by a thread at this point right right so why do people stay in these relationships do you have friends that have stayed or perhaps even you stayed in a relationship longer than you should have i stayed in a relationship longer than i should have because his parents owned a bed and breakfast. And it was like a really fucking nice bed and breakfast. And it was hot. And it had AC.

It was like in the summer and they had AC. So that was bad. I should not have said. And it was kind of abusive too. It was not good. I was just going to say, at least you're getting something out of it. I mean, I was. I was.

The AC was great. They had ballroom in the bed and breakfast. It was great. What's ballroom? It was a ballroom. Oh, they had's ballroom? It was a ballroom. Oh, they had a ballroom. They had a ballroom, yeah. To have dances.

No AC is no ballroom are nice enough. It was... I was young. So then when the weather got cold, you're like, wait a minute. I was like, I gotta get the fuck out of here. It's just as cold outside as it is in your heart. Yes, that is what I said. But you've had friends as well who stuck around for longer than you should.

Sure. And it's not always for air conditioner. sometimes it's it's mostly i think because you know low self-esteem you don't know your own worth she doesn't debbie doesn't love herself enough yet to be where she needs oh my god girl yes you don't know yourself know your worth that's true see drake drake i would never doubt dra Drake on how much he loves and empowers women. I do. I agree with that. Oh, you think so?

Oh, totally. You think Drake and Beyonce? I feel like Drake is, there's like complicated stuff behind Drake doing that. His new song is called Control Her. Oh, don't read between the lines. It's just about controlling her. It's complicated. It's complicated.

I agree. And it also sort of depends on like what perspective you listen to a drake song in like i'm never whenever i listen to a drake song i am drake i'm not the the girl yeah and maybe when women listen to it too they're like they think they are drake in some way okay but even with some beyonce songs i listen like wait a minute that's not actually like a super pro lady as everyone seems to think it is. Like what?

Talking about paying people's bills, paying their automobile bills. That's old though. But that was Beyonce singing it. Yeah, but that was about like him paying your bills. Or what about Lemonade about a guy cheating on you and then getting back together with him? Yeah, but that's like she made the decision to get back.

Like, that whole thing is like... You are such an apologist. Empowering yourself to make your own decisions, which is what... Right, well, that's true. Debbie needs to do. Just because somebody cheats doesn't mean that you have to break up all the time.

I agree. Wow. You guys are not pro-zero tolerance policy. I have some tolerance for cheating. Oh, how many strikes are we talking? I mean, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I'm like almost zero tolerance, but I think there are exceptions. I think there's like a difference between like this thing happened once and like I just cheat on you all the time. There's a difference between that. So do you want to tell this lady, bitch, no, your doubts are legit as fuck. Get out. You will recover. You will have a home and maybe even an awesome man again someday.

Power through. Yes. Like Debbie. I choose B. She already knows. She already knows. But you can tell what her fears are in this thing where she's like, you'll maybe even have an awesome man again someday. I think her fear is not getting an awesome man again. Which she doesn't need to worry about yet. Well, first of all, she didn't have an awesome man again someday i think her fear is not getting an awesome

man right well she doesn't need to worry about it didn't have an awesome man in the first place so to say an awesome man again no like i will i will say that she can get an awesome man for the first time she's been with a shitty one for nine years that's a long time she's very they're very young 23 is very young to get married yeah it's like the uh you don't know what you've got till it's gone but in the opposite yes like you don't know how shitty it was until he's gone yeah i think she and i think she still doesn't know how shitty it was that's why she's like not she has to pave a parking lot and put up paradise absolutely which is another bieber song i think totally yeah covered by the county crows too uh so let us know if we help that's

three that's three votes for bitch know your doubts are legit as fuck uh and i'm sure you have friends in your life who would agree with you uh the fact that you were leaving twice cheating many times him being physically and mentally abusive i don't see a lot of that abuses you in any way that's that you have to go far, far away from him. Yeah. All right. We have another question from another lady that I wanted to answer before you went away. Do you have another lady's name?

Selena Gomez. I don't hate her. I think their relationship is very cute. I liked them together. You're so positive about these pop stars usually it's fun to talk to someone who's like not cynical being like oh it's such a manufactured fake relationship i fucking love pop stars i love them i love them so much like do you love them like they're your babies like they're your friends yes like he's my baby like you're not sexually attracted to him? No, I am sexually.

It's a complicated, I have a complicated relationship. Like what do you want to do? You want to hug Bieber? Because I became sexually attracted to him like when he became 18. But like, is that real? Am I kidding myself there? Like was it before he was 18? I think it was.

Yeah. Yeah. That's sort of how like. Yeah. Do you remember there was a countdown to when the Olsens turned 18? Yes. That was creepy. How creepy is that?

That was creepy. Anyway. I mean, that was up on my website for like a minute, and then I turned it into a different, a web counter. And then you realized, okay. The fact that you're still bringing it up is so fucked. You turned it into a countdown for Nikki and Alex afterwards. On Nikki and Alex.

Wait, they're hot. They're hot now, aren't they? I think they're hot. Are those the Sprouse kids? I think those are the Sprouse kids. Oh yeah, they're the kids from't they those i think they're hot you know they're is that are those the sprouse kids and those are the sprouse oh yeah they're they're uh wait they're the kids from big daddy no i don't think so dylan and cole sprouse is that the big daddy kids okay this is not there's different twins there are all right wait you know it's actually it was actually a set of quadruplets uh wait kind of like how michelle was twins nicky and alex were actually four that's not really true i just made that up. You know what?

I think that could be true. I would believe that. How do you even search what Nikki... Are you searching Full House on IMDb for Nikki and Alex? I just searched Nikki and Alex. Okay. It came up. Yeah, there's a...

It's not who you said they were. Sprouses. I think that's the Big Daddy. That's Big Daddy Kids. Blake and Dylan Twomey willowight they're uh 25 or 20 26 i guess they're 25 this article was written in 2015 holy shit they're 26 uh he's kind of cute looking wait a second wow he's no sprowse he's no sprowse twins those are are is that Zach and Cody? Yeah.

Oh, yeah, it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Lady's name you said, Selena Gomez? Yes. Hi, Jake and Amir. I think you guys are wonderful, so I have a bit of a dilemma on my hands. Or should I say chest? To be frank about it, I have very large breasts.

My chest draws a lot of unwanted attention for most people, strangers, male friends, female friends, family members. The problem that I face, though, is not with my body, but with the kind of men that I attract. I'm 24 years old, and I find that most men are interested in me, simply want to fuck me, and that's it. I'm constantly worried about the dudes that hit on me because I think they're doing so only to fulfill some kind of fantasy. I'm very cautious about the

people I choose to date because being someone's fetish doesn't feel real great all the time. I'm interested in having a real loving relationship, but that seems hard to find without being objectified. Is there anything I can do? Am I overthinking this whole situation? How do I get over this insecurity? Thanks in advance for your help. You guys are great. Love, Selena Gomez. Selena Gomez. Does Selena Gomez have large boobs? I don't think she does. Not like unusually large. Yeah. All right. Is this girl, are they unusually large? She said pretty large. So we don't really know what that means.

Come on, dude. I got to know the cup size. Trying to get off over here. It doesn't really say. All right. Very cool. Initial thoughts, reactions, feelings. Fellow big boobs lady.

And it takes a while. It takes a long time. You may want to consider a breast reduction, though, if it's fucking up your life that much. Physically, emotionally? Both. Physically, it is hard. Especially when you're 24 and haven't learned how to figure it. You haven't completely figured out your body yet.

Right. So if it is fucking up her life you should go get a breast reduction or at least look into it i have several friends who've had them and they they're very happy like very happy with no like nobody's like i regret having them no and my friends who've had them like still have big boobs like their boobs are still kind of they're still like c cups good c cups yeah so they're still they still have like like regular, they're not small boobs. What's it like to grow boobs? I don't even remember. I've imagined having them, but I can't imagine growing them.

You can imagine having them? Yeah. If I was like, oh, what if I had boobs? That would be kind of an interesting, weird phenomenon. I can't imagine like the, I guess I sort of feel how my boobs feel. I would say you have B-cups right now. Yeah. I'm pretty swole actually.

But do you remember them growing i don't i think i got boobs pretty fast like i got i like developed quickly but i don't remember i just remember how i just remember them being there yeah you don't remember the transition i don't remember the transition i remember like the training bras oh yeah i was like more of like a sport i would wear sports bras and then it was like clear that that was not going to work. Right. But I don't remember like the transition really. Yeah. It was, it went from what you have to what you have right now.

Yes. Okay. So do you, does this resonate with you at all? This stuff of like the kind of men you attract and all this stuff, the problem that she's constantly worried that dudes are hitting on her only to fulfill some kind of fantasy yeah but i don't think like i don't know if like we have to know how big her boobs are i think because i don't think it's like a fetish if people are just like oh she has like nice boobs right there's a difference between nice boobs and like whoa

those are the first thing i see uh i i guess i don't entirely i don't I don't know how old she is I don't entirely remember 24 oh 24 is correct I mean it sort of feels like guys across the board are assholes who just want to have sex with you like how do you specifically know

whether you're a guy's fetish and he likes you for that or guys just want to fuck literally anything yeah I think that every almost like the you're a guy's fetish and he likes you for that or guys just want to fuck literally anything yeah i think that every almost like the the at it at uh at our base we just want to fuck and it's not because her boobs are so big if she had small boobs she'd be attracting plenty of assholes as well so her problem may not necessarily be boob specific just like guys yeah like what if you were an attractive lady and then it's like is that a fetish to be attractive to a a hot girl like am i making sense

yes treading so lightly as to not offend anybody like who's to say it's always hard when we have a girl in the room trying to figure out but like so i imagine i'm not a boob person but i like big butts can you lie i do lie often okay so you like big butts and you can lie and i am very good at lying okay uh but what is just because i think somebody has a really nice butt That doesn't mean like I fetishize a butt so much so that I don't even care about somebody. Isn't it just like a guy might have a strong profile, a nice nose and chin. So like, oh, wait, do you want to fuck me just because I have a nice chin? Right. Like what's an allowable level of why you're attracted to someone?

Right. Like how superficial can it get? It's a physical feature. And some people will be physically attracted to the right like how superficial can it get it's a physical feature and some people will be physically attracted to the fact that you have large boobs right or good hair or tall or i don't know anything really but if it's i guess we don't experience it like i don't have something about my person that brings on unwanted uh i've never been objectified yeah as much as I think I might like it. I don't actually have the experience.

I might be down if anyone wants to try some sort of weird social experiment. Yeah, I don't know. What do we say? I think you're right. You have to lead this. I mean, I think you're right that it's probably not boob specific.

It's probably just guys are scumbags, especially at 24. So you're just going gonna have to fucking deal with it like the rest of us and date scumbags oh really yeah i think that's just what happens yeah we all date scumbags have you dated scumbags i've dated a lot of white rappers so like really general that sort of that sounds like a different way to say scumbag yeah because one of them was just a dentist. I just call him a white rapper because that's how scummy of a bag he is. So you're saying I shouldn't pursue this hobby of mine?

This rap sting hobby? You know, I mean, if it's really in your heart. I just think I have good flow. Okay. And, I mean, you could call me progressive. Oh, you're crying. Because my flow is so tight uh and is there anything i could do breast reduction i think she should if it's like bother because it doesn't seem

like it's bothering her she doesn't from her question she's not saying like it's bothering her life it's just bothering her dating life it's almost like she's not having like any inward fear about the breast like right it's not hurting her physically and she just she's not having any inward fear about the breast. It's not hurting her physically, and she's not uncomfortable. She's worried about the outside world and how her breast will be perceived. I think she has a lot of self-awareness for a 24-year-old. Which is good. Applause for that.

I think she's worrying a little too much about guys and her boobs. And you know what? It's not like dating and fucking is this thing that it's not like a deep pool you have to jump right into. You can go out on one or two dates. I mean, you go out on as many dates with somebody as you want to try to figure out if they're only trying to fondle your breasts. And you don't have to let them. Right. to try to figure out if they're only trying to fondle your breasts and you don't have to let them right right you can like attract somebody with your big breasts that are still inside your shirt and not being touched or fondled and go out on several dates and then if you decide oh this person is cool and they might like me for who i am now i let them touch my breasts and now i let

you touch my breasts that's like the plan that i'm gonna use now that's like a good plan that's that's like my new dating plan oh really yeah what was your old dating plan just let you touch my breasts. That's like the plan that I'm going to use now. That's like a good plan. That's like my new dating plan. Oh, really? Yeah. What was your old dating plan? Just let him touch the boobs. I think that was the old dating plan. Am I overthinking this whole situation?

A little bit. How do I get over this insecurity? Just go date. Just keep dating. Just keep doing what you're doing. Keep dating? Yeah. You're young.

This all comes with accepting your body. You like yeah you it's so much easier in your late 20s to like go on one date and know somebody is a scumbag or not yeah when you're young it's basically so many people are scumbags you put up and you put up with a lot more yeah when you're 24 it's just like our other, like Debbie. God, aren't we all the perfect age right now? I bet there's a bunch of 40 year olds being like, what are these 30 somethings? No,

they don't know anything yet. You really learn it at age 42. Uh, all right. Thank you. Thank you, Rumu for coming on the show. Thank you so much for having me. This was fun.

Thank you for allowing us to answer some of these questions that perhaps we shouldn't answer when it was just me and Jake alone in a room. Great. How do people, again, one last time, the podcast is Black Girls Talking. Yes, blackgirlstalking.com, BLK Girls Talking on Twitter. For more Ramu and her three friends,

great podcast on the HeadGum Network. Honored to have you both on the network and on this episode. If you listening out there have your own questions or your own theme song submissions that opening one was written by eric lorrie this closing one is by confident hitmakers.net uh great url that that that email address for everything is if i were you show at confident hitmakers.net? Gmail.com. Yeah, that's right. ConfidentHitMakers.net.

How'd they land that one? They must have got in in the early, early, early aughts. Yeah, so early. The World Wide Web wasn't all taking up real estate. No, it's a pretty long one, actually. ConfidentHitMakers.net? .com is available, actually. I don't know why they think they're a network or what

we'll be back next week everybody and tickets still available for our shows in Dublin and London I should say so come see us in Europe alright later guys

peace you are you are the same too far you you are you are the same Gangnam Style.