Segments - 25: Cameos

Episode Date: April 22, 2024

In this episode we try to guess Cameo prices, create new movies, and Jake reads some of Amir's new ads.Advertise on Segments via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. Hey, I'm Jake Johnson, host of the podcast, We're Here to Help. But this episode right now that you are listening to is sponsored by Brooklinen. Brooklinen provides luxury bed sheets, pillows, comforters, and blankets delivered straight to your door. How do I know this? Because Brooklinen delivered me a quilt, sheets, pillowcases, and I love them. Plus, Brooklinen has been tested and awarded by experts, including Good Housekeeping, GQ, Wirecutter, and the hosts of We're Here to Help. So listeners can save a ton by purchasing a hardcore bundle, which includes a core sheet

set, which is the thing I got, extra pillowcases, and a duvet cover. You can also mix and match. They do this stripe thing that's cool, but that's a dealer's choice. So are you ready to build your dream fall bed? Visit in-store or online at brooklinen.com. That's brooklinen.com. B-R-O-O-K-L-I-N-E-N.com. Get 15% off your first Brooklinen order and save extra when you bundle. Hello, if you're listening to this podcast before September 27th, 2024, we're doing a live show in Philadelphia. You can still buy tickets at headgum.com slash live. Hope to see you there. Nice. Try one more where it's clear that I'm like the star. There's a reason I didn't have you say anything. Yeah. Because you're nervous, you're skittish, you're stuttering right now. I'm a little frightened. So I don't want you in this ad

at all. I don't want to be steamrolled, but I want the live live. So no, I won't be recording one. In fact, for you asking that, I'm going to keep this part in. Don't. This part is now. Edit this part out, but let's do one clean ad. No. You will edit this part out. You will absolutely edit this part out. Tell you what, I'm going to say my fucking social security number, so you have to edit it out, okay?

Let's hear it. 0913662. Now you have to edit it out. Keeping it in, but we'll see you guys there. No, no, no, no, no. too. Now you have to edit it out. But we'll see you guys there. Now here's one more effort for only positive motivations. They swear. Segment. Another podcast.

Segment. Each app different from the last. Segment. It's the Swiss Army knife of shows. Now let's meet your two emphatic hosts. Segment. Segments, folks. That's right we're back with another episode coming at you what's that i don't know i i thought i would kind of take over hosting a little bit um why do i let you lead when i am actually, I don't know, arguably more charismatic, interesting.

I'm more of a personality, more of a host, more of, I provide more star power than you do. You are dead weight. You're dragging me down. I'm kind of the be all, end all. I'm the main character here. I should be hosting the show. I understood-all. I'm the main character here. I should be hosting the show. I understood the assignment. I should be driving this forward.

Yeah. Yeah. All right. So have at it. Okay. What are we doing first? I was going to say first, I was going to say welcome to segments, which you always forget to say.

Welcome to segments. Not really. This is a podcast. Do you even ever explain it? I don't know if you do or if you have to even like okay so welcome i'm saying welcome i'm saying welcome to segments welcome to segments right and let's get and we're about to and we're about to get the show do you usually say roll in or roll in or started or yeah started rolling let's get started let's well how do you say both you say both let's get the show rolling started uh no i don't think so i don't think that sounds very good and that's why you're not the fucking host

let's get this show you are rolling on your camera phone though i just want to make sure yeah my well my my phone is cracked so i don't know if the video is going to come through. And my Zoom just died. Shit balls. This mic is plugged into what? I have Zoom diarrhea. And pneumonia. All right, first segment.

It was actually an idea by my friend jesse oh yeah shout out to jesse i have two friends left that listen to this show jesse and rami and jesse actually came up with an idea rami you're slacking right rami sent that text figure it out the idea is uh we're going to guess different prices of cameos. Yes. Cameos, of course, are celebrities that record greetings for cash to your friends and family. Have you ever sent or received a cameo? I think I've received a cameo. I believe Dave and Anna sent one for their wedding invite.

It came from a Bravo person who i didn't actually know but jill thought it was great so i don't i'm yeah i don't remember it yeah right i don't know who it was but yeah i've that's the one i've received cameo sounds cheesy until you get someone like that you love you're like oh this is awesome like this person's fucking saying my name this is fun i get oh yeah i fucking saying my name. This is fun. Oh, yeah. I've never gotten one that was like about me. That would probably be pretty good.

All right. I'll try to think of one for your birthday, which is coming up rapidly in seven months. Yes, that's right. Fast approaching. But of course, this is, you know, it's a free market. People are willing to pay and charge whatever the fuck they want. Some people charge thousands. Some people cost $20 20 depending on how famous they are right i remember cameo wanted us to join they uh they reached out when they were launching yeah we sort of had the patreon thing happening so yeah we rolled it up into that yeah yeah that's fair that's right but maybe i'll join

cameo separately from that just me like i don't need that for you yeah right because we do get requests all the time it's true uh okay so this is how the game will go i'm gonna guess do you have five or three how many do you have i think i have four but i can i can pull a fifth one out of my ass pretty easily. Okay, let's say five. Let's give us five, and whoever's closest total wins the game. Closest? I don't even understand that,

which I often don't, and I feel like you take advantage of me with a lot of these monetary... So it's like if you guess 500 and it's 100, you're off by 400, that i see so the cumulative yeah all right cumulative score and then of course at any point you can do a cash out which eliminates half your debt only if you win that round which of course technically speaking i won the first round for explaining the rules so right off off the bat, I'm going to start with a deficit.

So I have an opt-out policy. You can't opt out. You have a clause. It's different than a policy. It's more of a fallacy. And you can exercise that clause for $50 against your debt or debit, according to how you pronounce it. It's a very simple game let's just get started uh do we do the songs like is that the new stakes are we doing real cash what do you think oh yeah um i guess maybe whoever we have to we have to request a cameo from one of these people that we oh that's good that's good

that's good so the loser pays for a cameo for the winner yeah okay and then we'll play it at the next episode perfect and the winner can write what they wanted to say exactly that's a really good stake i'm gonna eliminate half your debt for that So you're at negative 100 right now instead of negative 200, which is what I started you at for not exercising the clause. I'll start. Jake, how much do you think you'd pay for a fucking personalized video from the goat himself bam margera bam bam margera meets dom irera

um i hope he's doing well at least well enough to do these cameos because i've seen yeah scary videos of him so prayers up for right margera but if he's alive and well and can do this cameos because i've seen yeah scary videos of him so prayers up for ben margera but if he's alive and well and can do this cameo how much is he charging what do you think i feel like on on the one hand he is beloved and he is very famous but on the other he's had such a fall from grace so i feel like his number is going to make me sad. Yeah. I'll, but he's so big. I'll guess, why don't I go ahead? But he might be desperate because where is he making the money from? 249.

249. Final answer. Locking in. Final answer. And I was considering going up to 450, but I'm going to lock in 249. Final answer. Locking in. Final answer. And I was considering going up to $450, but I'm going to lock in $249. I think you think a little highly of Bam. He only charges $100 a video. Really?

So your current score, which you want to be low, is $149. Right. Because that's the difference between the two. Okay, so that's obviously not great. And time. No. Time. You have a clause that lets you get to call

the game at any point. And Bam will be actually antiquing you, just so you know. He's going to give you the Don Vito treatment, which is the cameo. And he will be slapping you in the balls of the mouse trap. He's slapping you with meat. Yes.

And you will be on the toilet. So you can't get up and defend yourself. Okay. My cameo is one Grace herself. Okay. Not Rob himself. I'm saying grace herself. Okay? Not Rob himself. I'm saying grace herself. That is Debra Messing, folks.

Oh, I thought you were Debra Messing with me. Grace herself. Okay, let me look it up real quick. Just to have a hint. Wait, what do you mean? I'm going to have a hint. I don't look at the actual price. I'm just saying that you have to pay for even messaging them.

That's kind of interesting. Yeah. Now, this is a personal cameo, right? This isn't like the business kind where Lindsay Lohan charges $50,000 or something crazy. This is just a regular personalized cameo from Debra Messing. That's right. I wonder why she does it because she's probably incredibly loaded just from residuals at all. Yeah, she doesn't need the money. No. Probably incredibly loaded just from residuals at all. Like these messages.

She doesn't need the money. No. Like bam, I could kind of see needing the money. I wouldn't think Deborah needs the money. Deborah does this for fun. Mm-hmm. So since it's for fun. And she's just messing around.

Yes, Deborah. And she has to charge a price where she's not like doing 15 of these a day she's like gotta get up there so i'll say 299 for mess for will and grace herself that is it's it's very close uh deborah is messing around with 350 so you are so i'm off by 51 off yeah okay current score 149 to 51. But you know, high variance game. This can go off the rails quick. Yeah.

Holy shit, that's NFL Hall of Famer and former Buffalo Bills quarterback Jim Kelly. Jim Kelly. Mr. Kelly, I'm a huge fan. What's shaking a beer is that from uh i think it's my 30th birthday where i grew up in buffalo and then i think i see jim kelly and i throw a football oh the football and it kills jeff yeah so this is um buffalo bill legend and nfl hall of Fame quarterback Jim Kelly. Yeah, I don't think it's very high. Because Cameo is kind of a... I guess I imagine it as a young person's game, but maybe it's not.

Yeah, I think it's grown. It's broadened its appeal now. Yeah. Yeah. I just feel like a retired sports star is not going to charge a ton, a ton. Like, I'm going to guess $45. Okay. It's $379. Which is going to hurt.

That's really bad. That's really, really bad. That's off by $334. Yeah 334 dollars yeah yeah yeah yeah okay that's rough that's rough for me 334 uh-huh yeah okay okay now you know what we're working with though you're in yeah um great let's go ahead and have you guess kevin o'leary aka mr wonderful oh he's a businessman he's a shark that's right and he's rich yeah and is he a rich from cameo or is he just messing around or otherwise i feel like he values branding himself as somewhat of an entrepreneur and he's not gonna say you can get me for 29 he's like no i am a fucking fortune 200 CEO. My time is valuable. You want to talk to me?

It's $599. $599. $599. Yes. You think someone's going to pay almost $600. You want to lock that in? I want to lock it in. I don't think people are paying, but I don't think he cares because he doesn't need the money and he wants to pretend like he's a premium item.

Five, nine, nine. Wow. And I don't know if anybody is paying, but to get a message from him, it is $1,500. What? Yeah. what yes so i was right about the idea but way off the price but way 1500 1500 for mr wonderful and that is a wonderful price so i'm 901 off that's. That's right. That's right. And he will roast you. So you're allowed to ask for birthday, pep talk, roast, advice, question, or other. Wow.

Really putting himself out there. Okay. How about this? Are you familiar with Tiago Silva? Yes. Chelsea football clubber. 39 years old. I believe Tiago is a bench option.

Interesting. For the boys over at Stamford Bridge. The Blues, as it were. I mean, he's making I I want to say, 150,000 pounds a week base. So, again, he doesn't need it. Doesn't need the cash. He is playing.

So, I'm going to say that I think it's going to be expensive yet again. I think we're looking at how many of these would he do a day? You know, that's the thing. He has a busy life. He's a football scorer. I guess he's doing it from the training. Yeah. I mean, when he's getting massaged, when he's getting his quads worked over, he's making these videos. Tiago Silva, that's one to take.

Congratulations on winning the cameo. If I win, I want mine from Tiago Silva. I'll guess, I will guess 500. Close, 400. All right. All right. That's good. That's good news that's a hundred dollars extra and you're uh like 700 ish and i'm at 900 ish great what do you think about jeremy fucking piven wow i'm jeremy fucking piven baby yeah and he wants you to scream lloyd or the person yeah yeah exactly uh that also seems kind of expensive star of entourage slash stage and screen

um he also doesn't want to be doing like this is not like um a from The Office situation. He was a pretty big deal to those who cared. Right. He's a star of the entourage. Kevin was a big deal to those who cared as well. Yeah. But it's not like getting a fucking cameo from Michael Scott. Ari was the star of Entourage. I'm sorry.

Ari was the star. Yeah. Ari was the star. Ari Gold was Gold. He's charging $499. Ari was the starry. Ari Gold was gold. He's charging $499, a little under $500. You forget that he was lightly canceled, I believe. So this might be his only work. Could be a little bit desperate.

Piven is $300. $300. So I was off by $199 there. Yeah. Okay. So after, off by 199 there. Yeah. Okay. So after, have we each done three? We've each done three. I'm at like 1151.

Yeah. Mr. Wonderful was not so wonderful for you. Okay. No. Okay. We're looking at... Do you remember the Jersey Shore? Yeah, of course.

We got Snooki. We have Ronnie. We have The Situation. DJ Pauly. That's who we're talking about. The Situation? The Situation. And The Situation is he's on Cameo, and I'm looking to see how much you'll pay for a Cameo from the situation. See, I think the situation is somebody that's going to benefit from low price, high volume.

Because he needs the cash. And he's willing. He's a reality star. He's not going to mind that front facing camera. He also theoretically doesn't really have anything else to do. And I feel like he has a lot of fans who would maybe want to get this cameo as a joke. You know, what I forgot about the legendary football QB was that it was absolutely beloved to a very small group of people in Buffalo, you know? So you got to have high cost, but it's a lower volume. But I think Situation is nationally beloved at a low price of $125. That's a pretty good guess. It's $300 good guess. It's 300.

Okay. Good for the situation. A Piven price. Yes, a Piven fare. I don't know how much people are getting it, of course, but you said 125? Yeah.

So you're off by 175 there. close okay i'm ready for my fourth mark fucking mcgrath wow sugar ray himself that's right you can get a you can get a cameo from mark mcgrath every morning if you pay this price yeah and contrary to the song he actually will say a word excuse me i'm not finished we'll say we're open the open the app babe i'll say a word yeah he'll always right the wrong for anybody who pays pays yeahays, yeah. Yeah. Okay. What do you think Mark McGrath is charging for a birthday, a pep talk, a roast? I feel like he's getting a lot of those 90s moms.

So I think he's charging $299 dollars that might be a little high i already it is a little high it's a little high he is a 90s guy and he's charging 90s dollars that's right just 90 bucks yeah 90 bucks gets you sugar ray it's the99. So that's $209 off. Okay. Let's get a tally right here. So after four, I'm off by $1,360, thanks to Mr. Wonderful. That's right. And you're off by $758.

Okay. So I just have to not get off by $1,000, I think. Why don't I oh yeah I'm going next anyway your last one your last one is the Dice Man himself 80's comic Andrew Dice

Clay Andrew Dice Clay who you know was the most famous Andrew Dice Clay. Andrew Dice Clay. Andrew Dice Clay. Who, you know, was the most famous person in 1984. And time hasn't been too kind for him. But he's still in the ether slash zeitgeist. Okay.

There was a long time where I got Andrew Dice Clay and Lenny Bruce confused. Lenny Bruce is much more respected respected now i guess yeah lenny bruce is like from the 50s and he like got arrested for saying bad swear words on his but he didn't stop yeah okay andrew dice clay was like this leather jacket wearing cigarette smoking a jack and jill went up in hell fuck them both you know oh yeah like that kind right uh so i guess i'll say let's go with the mark mcgrath theory of the era that you were big in is the base price and we'll say 80 bucks 80 bucks okay you're off oh no and i sort of chose this one in a in a mr wonderful-esque scheme piece of shit because he's charging a thousand dollars he's charging a thousand dollars

yeah okay okay okay you're off by 9 20 there that's good. The 750 plus the 920 puts you in. Total, 1678 off. 1678 is your final score. I'm at 1360, so I can be off by 318 or less. Or less. Yeah. Okay. And for this reason, I need one more second to choose my final one and it will be uh somebody who charges 2500 for probably no reason okay

no i it was between uh all right i'll I'll tell you who it was between afterwards. I'm going to give you the guy. Okay. Comedian, actor, Joel McHale. Wow. Also very busy, very working. Doesn't have time for this shit. I think he has a lot of kids.

Mm-hmm. I can see $9.99. I can see $3.99. I mean mean there's a high variance celeb it could also be a thousand like he's just on there for a friend yeah put it on a thousand i'll do two a week and we can go to fucking vegas for free who gives a shit but who's paying two thousand dollars for joel mchale what are these community stands does it make sense? Does it add up? That's why I'll guess, hoping that I'm $318 within $749. $749.

Final answer. $749. $749. Let me just do some math. You're off by 449. Mikhail's charging 300. Wow. 300. Fair price.

And I wonder what you would have guessed if I had gone with my other option, Danny Bonaduce. It could be anything. It could be 50 or the Dice Clay 1000. I guess I would guess 200. And you would have won because Bonaduce is charging 69. Wow. Ever since comic. Bonaduce is charging 69. Wow. Ever since comic. Bonaduce.

All right, I was off by 1,700. You're off by 1,678. What a game. So you have to get me a cameo from Thiago Silva. I know, I get to get you a cameo from anybody. Anyone on your list anybody that you appreciate and it will be from somebody who we all like to hear from and yeah he'll charge nine dollars because it's an andy everyone everyone loves thiago let's let's have thiago say uh come

on you spurs that'd be that'd be really nice i'd like to i'd like to hear him say that yeah it seems like there's a conflict of interest there with like current athletes like you can't be on like the lakers and be like all right hey go celtics like that'll leak and like be bad yeah it's like it's gotta be retired people there's also like retired athletes on here that just charge 2500 because like they probably don't want to do it at all. Right. Wow. But Brett Favre's charging $280. Yeah, that's weird. Easy to do that. Easy money. Everybody's got their price.

Alright, good game. Thanks again, Jesse, for helping me lose. Thank you to DraftKings for sponsoring this episode of our show. Hey-o! DraftKings for sponsoring this episode of our show. Hey-o, DraftKings. The NFL is back.

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Thank you to Squarespace for sponsoring this episode of our show. Hell yeah. Jake, you've been building on Squarespace for decades at this point. Exactly. Eons, it feels like. Yes. So you know how easy it is to use their simple, intuitive drag and drop design technology? Yes, yes, yes. Easy to create, easy to sell, easy to promote. Squarespace is my all in one, first stop, one stop shop. Yeah. It's kind of funny that they have also award winning customer support because it's so intuitive that even Jake

was able to figure it out. But if you have any questions, they can figure it out for you as well. Exactly. And I did need a lot of help. I needed a lot of help. It's easy for everybody, but I still like to have my hand held. They even have AI at this point. You can update written content, product description, or email with Squarespace AI.

You can even buy a domain name through Squarespace. Exactly. Like, you know that movie Freaky Friday? Yeah. How'd you like to own FreakyFriday.com? That'd be great. Is that available? It's not available. Yeah.

But how'd you like to own Freaky Tuesday? Interesting. Freaky Tuesday. So that's when you run into each other and some parts of your personality change, but ultimately it's not a full body swap. Right. Mostly you're just concussed. Yeah. Which is new. It's kind of like having a new personality. Yeah. It's funny. I consider myself a vision lifter, which is why I recommend somebody buying visionlifters.com.

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Hell yeah. So again, you go to squarespace.com slash segments. Segments. You save 10% off your you go to squarespace.com slash segments. Segments. You save 10% off your first purchase and then use the coupon code segments when you're ready to launch that free trial. Enjoy. Thank you, Squarespace.

And we are back. Yo. I've been able to monetize this show a little more i don't know if i i feel like the show is sufficiently monetized we sell a pre-roll mid-rolls and um and i don't inter segment native host red ads that i sell on the side slash i don't like when you do this you know like yeah as always this is copy that i received that they for whatever reason always want you to read i feel like they think like you said earlier you're the driving force slash leader so it really has to come from the host aka you with the most yeah so these i appreciate that and again i didn't write this copy. It was given to me.

Did you test out the products? Because usually they'll send us, you know. The products are sound. The products are sound. And once you read them, this is a cold read, but if it's good, we'll just keep it in. So these are two ads. I sold. Jake has to read the copy.

I'll join in when necessary. Ready? Cool. Yeah, sure thing. One second. I sent it to your email address. Yeah, I got it. Okay.

So this is advertiser one. Let's say we just got back from a break or we're getting into a break and it's like, okay, advertiser voice. Let's go. So we just got back from a break and we're going to do another ad. Another ad. Yeah. Hey, Amir, how do you like your food?

I like mine mushy as hell. Borderline wet with no give at all. Like oatmeal? Way mushier. Have you ever had that cake that leaks milk? Tres leches? I don't speak Farsi. Anyway, this episode is brought to you by,

by, by Miss American Pie. 100% human grade, ready to consume cum cakes. No, not that kind of cake. Get your mind out of the gutter. We're talking about urinal cakes, you piss pervert. Boyo, cum cakes. Sorry, urinal cakes are 50 are that's really good let's take it from boyo cum cakes though right okay just to get a lot of

times i'll like hear back they're like jake stumbling through the end yeah boy oh cum cakes sorry urinal cakes are 50 biodegradable and edible and yes you can piss on it how much do you expect to pay for something like this keep in mind they'll send you one a month until you sue them i don't know 20 dollars way more way why do you get to be kind of like the straight man in all of this you're you're like i think the way i sell it they think i'm the business guy you're the hoax yeah it feels like i am definitely i'm the one really hawking this i'm the one that's all bought in and you kind of get to sit in the background actually unsure like you're not endorsing it you're not endorsing anything let's take it for me not knowing. $20? Way more. Way more. So how do you get a deal? Well, that's easy. Just use

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Okay. Okay. Bye for now, Westworld fans. That's great. I think that was a holdover from like a different podcast, like a Westworld style podcast or something. Yeah, I guess so like yeah sometimes they update the copy to be like this is that this is the christmas this is the

new years and that was just maybe for the premiere or the the finale of a season of westworld i guess i don't really know but they gave me they've mowed me a thousand dollars which is it's not enough money yeah that's pretty solid all right let's roll right into the second one which is pretty solid. It's not enough money. Yeah. That's not really enough money for what we just did. All right, let's roll right into the second one, which is Advertiser 2. I think you got the copy for that one, right? I see, yeah. Yeah. Hey, Amir.

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Baba Ba? Yes. baba baba yes so instead of water you say mi nombre es hector no tengo ojos no tengo oidos solo tengo un grande penis according to baba that's funny not. How much would you expect this app to cost? Keep in mind, it's Android only. I don't know. I really hope it's free. 9K, but with our coupon code? Segments.

Yeah, but it's pronounced a little differently in Cuba, according to Ba Ba Ba. Oh, no. How is it pronounced according to Ba Ba Ba? Hola, soy Hector. Soy un hombrecito con un vasito de leche encima de mi cabeza. ¿Puedo cantarte un canción de amor por un peso? Por favor, please, I have eczema, por favor. As a coupon code for baba yes okay fine

that coupon code again is no no wrap it up thanks baba you mean ba ba ba whatever so even in their copy yeah in their copy they're going forth like yeah baba and baba they're using it almost interchangeably we're both confused yeah and the coupon code was just this you'll never be able to remember that spanish sentence you'll never be able to input it i don't think so it doesn't probably and they must have designed it that way yeah to like goof slash scare people but i guess even if one person signs up that pays for the entire ad the ad was 90 bucks and this is nine thousand dollars yeah interesting all right i think we got them quick note to let y'all know that we're conducting an audience survey at gum.fm slash segments. And we want to hear from you guys to keep making content you love. Exactly. It's a survey that lets us know what you think

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All right, we're back. And we're back. I'm hosting. I'm the host. I'm the host. Go for it. We're back. Welcome once again to the return of segments. Welcome back to segments. Or this is the return of segments. This is segments again. Let's rock and roll. Let's keep the show rolling and moving on forward. So with that.

Yeah, what's the last one? Another segment for us to do right totally different this is exciting what i wonder what right now this is i feel like we have to take it all the way back to cameo to just reset i need a hard reset no way i am stumbling and i have 40 minutes of content it It's fine. It's nice. It's fine. Okay. Keep it up.

So we have the, the segment here is that I, that I went online and I found some writing prompts or, or sought some writing prompts out to kind of try our hand at coming up with our own short story, our own original movie, perhaps a novel. It's kind of a creative leaping off point for us to tell our story.

I've got five prompts here, five different genres. I'll give them to you here. Okay, we have romance, horror, adventure, comedy, or dystopian. So you choose which one you're interested in. Let's or dystopian. So you choose which one you're interested in. Let's do dystopian. Dystopian. Okay. Yeah, that one seems interesting to me. Dystopian writing prompt. In a society where emotions are suppressed to maintain control,

a rebel group forms to restore the importance of human feelings a young protagonist discovers a hidden underground movement and must choose between conforming to the emotionless norm or joining the rebellion to to reclaim the right to feel that's cool so it's like fight club, but it's like just them getting angry or sad. Feel club. Yeah. Yeah. Right. It's like feelings as feelings like in Footloose Dancing has been outlawed in this country.

Feelings has been. Yeah. Completely suppressed. That's actually kind of interesting. I was hanging out with my nephew this past weekend who's two and he's just starting to kind of like get angry at stuff you know the but no i don't want to do this yeah right yeah yeah he didn't throw a tantrum but like he's he's like very vocal about when he doesn't want to do something and he'll just be like no and you're like oh no you like your opinion you have opinions now and they can be against me like i didn't so maybe that maybe there's something to it's kind of what's that movie

that where everything is black and white um pleasant phil pleasant phil so it's pleasant phil or schindler's list no it was pleasant was Pleasantville. You nailed it with Pleasantville. Pleasantville-esque. Also black and white, except for the red jacket. Yeah. Yeah. No. So, yeah, we're not talking about Schindler's List.

We're talking about Pleasantville. But really, we're talking about our dystopian feeling movie, Feel Club. yeah feel Club but the protagonist would be a two-year-old a toddler who is beginning to to feel their feelings and have intense emotions for the first time it's basically it's the journey of being a human which I think really starts a toddler this almost sounds like a Pixar movie isn't there like one where like every every feeling is personified by something yeah like inside inside a little spaceship of somebody's mind yeah yeah right inside out that's right um but this is more of a i think of this more of like a minority report like we have reports of people like in the basement of this factory and they're getting angry.

What does that mean? What is it getting angry? And it's like they shove you. It's like, please don't do that. It's like, you know. Right. Are you getting angry now? They're not supposed to.

Yeah. Is this anger? Is this the emotion that you speak? Right. No, you don't get it. Like, whoa, what is that loud noise? I can't compute i can't understand and life now our hero is really emotional yeah the the hero of the underground

movement is emotional and the head of the government like this 1984 style orwellian wizard of oz is like stone face actually his name is probably eric stone face stone street that's good who's on cameo four general please 90 amazing okay general stone face is the guy who's there to create law and order never shows any emotion the underground rebellion is headed out by either a two-year-old or it was a two-year-old and grew up he's like i actually do feel these things i'm just suppressing them oh i don't know what that is what that could be with yeah maybe it's told in a flashback of of he's two two and kind of like coached out of his feelings. Yes.

You know? Yeah. They were numbed. Right. But he's like still able to access it in this feel club where everybody is either happy or angry. And then like you said in Pleasantville, as this rebellion is spreading, the movie starts to get a little more light, a little more technicolor. So by the end, it's like really bright Willy Wonka-esque contrast. Did you see Poor Things? No. Did you?

Yes. It does sort of follow Emma Stone's life. And in the beginning, it is very black and white and like fisheye lens. And then by the end, it's very colorful and unique as she's growing up so if we wanted to we could probably sell the director yurgos lanthimos i think on a squeak wool called field club colon poor things too now or instead of a squeak will a pre-squeak will so like it all takes place yeah but a pre-squeak will a spreek um that's exactly so it's not a squeak well it's a pre-squeak will okay and this takes place before poor things or before things for short

yeah and it's not illegal because we're not stealing the movie. We're just calling it Poor Things 1. Okay. And they're like, wait, so was Poor Things the original? Poor Things 2? I'm confused. Why doesn't this one star Emma Stone? You couldn't attach anybody.

Actually, she's super attached. Actually, she's suing me. All right. actually she's suing me um all right let's let's choose one other one between romance horror adventure and comedy adventure adventure very good in a world where where mythical beasts roam freely a group of unlikely heroes embark on a quest to retrieve a lost artifact that holds the key to restoring, quote, balance. Along the way, they face treacherous landscapes, ancient puzzles, and learn to trust each other despite their differences. So this is just any, like, this seems like a very generic thing. It's pretty vanilla.

They're all just people going to find something. This seems like a very generic thing. It's pretty vanilla. It's just mythical beasts that have an amulet and they need to go put it in a hole in a cave. Oh shit! It's opening!

Give me the treasure! Pass me the treasure! That's right. Quick! quick quick throw me the treasure now sir now there isn't much time it's called quick throw me the treasure and it's that guy after he gets the treasure so he's like you fool and he like runs off and he's like now he's at home with the thing and he's like what a fucking crazy ass day i can't believe i convinced him to pass me the treasure should i post mates a pizza or something i don't know it starts five different roguish imps who have stolen different treasures and now they have to learn how to band together and trust each other so it's it's

it's five golems and they all have a split personality like golem so it's actually like 10 different guys quick pass me the treasure Constantly passing a treasure Give it now, I'll save us all Alright They're all really naive too Quickly now Let me hold the treasure while you

Let me see the treasure for a second I'll give it right back, I swear Let me just see it I want to hold the treasure Yes, break down camp want to hold the treasure. Yes, break down camp. I'll hold the treasure. What are we thinking for dessert? I can make a toast if I can hold the treasure.

And then there's one fucking normal guy, Dan from Seattle. Yeah, I mean, whatever, man. You can hold the treasure or not i don't really understand why it's so important oh it's the most important give me really quickly whoa didn't see you there stop fucking biting my ankles you fucking freak You fucking crazy person. I signed up for a fucking outward bound camp and I'm surrounded by four guys who are constantly asking me for treasure. You want me to hold the treasure? Oh, geez. I was being nice.

I actually wasn't trying to steal it. So it's four guys that want to hold the treasure. One guy that's just Dan. Yeah. It's four guys that want to hold the treasure. One guy that's just Dan. So I guess it could be called Pass Me the Treasure, colon, Dan's Mysterious Joyride to the Ends of the Earth and Back. Okay. That's perfect.

Cut print. And we'll super attach John Cena as Dan so it can sell in the room. And we'll stunt cast the old impish men who won at the Treasure. It will be Andy Serkis. They will all be Andy Serkis. Yes.

But the faces of TikTok stars, so it can sort of be a four-quadrant comedy. So it's, you know, it's your Charlie D'Amelio's, your Olivia Rodrigo's, it's anyone that ends with an O, and Cena, and they open the fucking room, and they actually open the weekend, and it's a really expensive script yeah and the and so that's our box office winner and then we also have our critical darling with before things which is pretty perfect that's a good year that's a really good 2025 for us but because you do one for them and one for you and that sort of catapults you into the stratosphere because you'll win the awards, but you'll also get the cash.

You're the Oppenheimer and the Barbie. You're a rookie and a vet. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So let us know if you're interested in that. I know a couple studio heads listen to this show. It will be a bidding war. Producers, directors, showrunners.

Yeah. So yeah, email us if you want to give us the treasure. Give us the budget. Pass us the treasure. Quick. Imagine that guy checking his email. Does anybody have bars? Let me connect to your hotspot.

I can't open with Excel. It's that guy at the office. Do you guys use Google Sheets? Pass me your Slack password. Pass me your password. Make me the moderator, please. Make me the host. I'm on Zoom.

Pass me the hosting privileges. I want to record to the cloud. All right. Sweet. Thanks for listening. Thanks for watching watching we'll be back next week and for more of us you can check us out on our patreon patreon.com slash ja yeah yeah uh and we'll be back next week ciao for now everybody boy that was a hit gum original