Segments - 386: Circumcision (w/Nic Rad!)

Episode Date: June 10, 2019

Friend and father Nic Rad is on the show to talk about difficult decisions, pop music, and of course, ladders.And if you see this in time, come hang out with us in Chicago! HeadGum Live is coming June 14-16 at Thalia Hall! Get your tickets here.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Hello, if you're listening to this podcast before September 27th, 2024, we're doing a live show in Philadelphia. You can still buy tickets at headgum.com slash live. Hope to see you there. Nice. Try one more where it's clear that i'm like the star there's a reason i didn't have you say anything yeah because you're nervous you're skittish you're stuttering right now i'm a little so i don't want you in this ad at all i don't want

to be steamrolled but i know i won't be recording one in fact for you asking that i'm going to keep this part in don't this part is now edit part out. But let's do one clean ad. No. You will edit this part out. You will absolutely edit this part out. Tell you what. I'm going to say my fucking social security number. So you have to edit it out.

Okay. Let's hear it. 091-3662. Now you have to edit it out. Keeping it in. But we'll see you guys there. No, no, no, no, no. No.

If I were you. Yeah, I'm in a sticky sledge. Don't know what to do. I'm a ride to if I were you. Jake and I'm here gonna make it good they do just like they should I got a problem in my life and need some advice I'm bleeding and I'm bleeding cause I cheated on my wife got it all on tape I said it wasn't me don't know what to say to make a change of ways. Should I take this shit too cold? Is this grounds for divorce? Should I take this shit too cold? Is this grounds for divorce?

Now keep in mind, I ain't saying that I'm sorry in my eyes. I was just trying to party, I ain't saying that I'm sorry in my eyes. I was just trying to party. I did nothing wrong, but I want to make it right. Honestly, I think I deserve a better wife. Listen to If I Were You. If I Were You. Tune on to If I Were You. If I Were You If I Were You Okay.

Wow. Wow, wow, wow, wow. Did you know what that was a parody of? Oh, no. I guess it sounds like a Beck thing. Do you really not know? No. Oh, I was being sarcastic because it's a very popular song.

Do you know Old Town Road? No. Yeah, what are you talking about? Sorry, now I don't even know if you guys are doing a bit together or if I'm... We're not doing a bit. Really? We're absolutely not doing a bit. What the hell are you talking about?

Wait, Nick, are you doing a bit? No. First of all, Nick Rad is on the podcast, also not knowing what Old Town Road is. Yeah, also Nick. Is there a whole thing where I shouldn't have talked until... Oh, no, that's okay. No, I don no bit here. First of all, Nick Rad is on the podcast, also not knowing what Old Town Road is. Yeah, also Nick. Is there a whole thing where I shouldn't have talked until? Oh, no, that's okay. No, I don't think so. We're actually notoriously bad at introducing guests.

Cool, cool. Wait, both of you don't know what Old Town Road is? No. No. Why are you laughing? Are they like, everyone knows who this is? It's embarrassing that we don't? I don't know.

I feel like you guys are joking, but I'll just explain it to you if you're not. I am not. You're enjoying this way too much, and it's bothering me. Who sings it? I'm having an episode. I really am recording an episode. Yeah. Have you heard of Lil Nas X? Lil Nas nas x little not not no this is killing me you're

you're it's like when i'm uh i'm home for the holidays and my little cousin is just grilling me on the latest and i got nothing when you said old town road i thought you were i thought it's like some kind of like bob dylan beatles-esque thing that i really should have known like you're supposed to have a bass for it. But then you say Lil Nas X. I'm like, oh, I think this is just because you listen to Top 40 in your car on your commute. This song is so overwhelmingly popular. It's like you guys not hearing about Hotline Link.

Well, it's popular on the radio right now. It's popular like it has several hundred million views on YouTube. Today, currently. the radio right now it's popular like it has like several hundred million views on youtube like it's today number one this is like it like this came out recently enough because that to me sounded like if you were like who is this a parody of i would have said kid rock like that was like the vibes that i was getting yeah so it's a rapper named lil nas x and then he made a remix featuring billy ray cyrus an actual uh country musician, Miley Cyrus' father. Have you guys heard of Miley Cyrus? I mean, who am I talking to?

I've heard of both Cyrus's. I've heard of both Cyrus's. So the remix has, it came out on YouTube two months ago. It has 181 million views. I assume that everything on YouTube has 181 million views these days. We were talking about it in our company Slack this morning. Lil Nas X, the horse in the back, the kids singing along. We're already talking about the iterations. You know what bothers me? It makes me realize I'm not in that

channel and that bothers me. What channel is that? This is HQ. No, no. You have yet to say anything on this episode that we can all agree on. Yes, this is in our company-wide Slack. Nick is absolutely a part of it. We are putting the magnifying glass over this company right now, too. Let's tell everyone all the names of our Slack channels. We got HQ. We got videos. We have HeadGum Business. Sure's that's one of the greatest if you're

not in a channel can you can't see all the channels right i'm an admin so i can see all the channels interesting what can you see the noah mir channel oh yeah yeah i started that channel it's a good one yeah everyone but amir yeah i'm in that one you're a mod of that one so lil nas x who i guess had to have tailored his name after the rapper nas by adding a lil before and an x after a big nas y yeah he actually inspired me my rap name is now lil lil nas x x so i'm sort of taking what he did and amplifying it now it's like okay who do i who do i collab with so you see the x is like that means amplify to you that's like multiplication that's like that millennial shit okay yeah that's that

fucking billboard 200 have you guys heard of hotline blink yeah we heard a hotline is this gonna be just like a music uh quiz episode yeah bill, Billboard Top 200. We're going to go down the list. And you'll just ask if we've heard of a song. There's not even like a, like you're not even asking me to prove Hotline. I'll just start saying yes, I guess.

All right. So there's this guy named Tyler, the creator, right? Yeah, I know that one. All right. Nick Rad. Yeah, dude. I don't know that one.

Actually, you got to listen to the diss track I made of semi-famous Dave Rosenberg. It samples Tyler Creator's beat structure for my diss track. Did you make the beat yourself? No, the great Miles Felix pumped that out. So it's actually really well made. Nick, how would you describe yourself to our audience?

How would our audience know you? I'm glad you asked. I'm actually a thespian now. Interesting. Yeah, I would say a thespian mostly. So our audience would know you as a thespian? Yeah, I would assume so. At this point. I want most people to know me as a thespian at this point. But I guess if you didn't know me... Well, a thespian is sort of your new, it's like the newest version. So like, what's Nick 1.0? What's Nick OG? I'm glad you're putting it that way. I've always been a thespian, but I've just recently come out as a thespian.

Oh, really? You're in the closet? You're coming out as a thespian. Yeah, I was in the closet for a long time. But before that, I was a painter. That's something that I did for many years. That's cool. And then I met Jake Hurwitz over here, and he convinced me to give that up if it wasn't going right. We had a meet-cute that sort of turned into me nagging him on his painting. It sounds like an intervention. It kind of was.

He told me I should stop doing that and help him start a little company you might have heard of called Old Town Road. It's called HeadGum. I've been helping on the producing side out here in Brooklyn, New York for the last four odd years.

Then I slowly started eyeing the door and stepping away and making a little web series because that's what I want to do. I want people to know I was a thespian. And that's what I did. So there you go. That's my full bio. So you went from artist to producer to thespian. Well, no. As I said, I was always a thespian. But I did those things to conceal my true identity. He was a closeted thespian. Well, no, I was, as I said, I was always a thespian, but I did those things

to conceal my true identity. He was a closeted thespian. And you can watch these videos as they come out, a HeadGum East series that's on our YouTube channel. Yeah. That's the only way to watch them, I believe. Are you a full-time part of Twinnovation at this point? I'm a former member of Twinnovation. I, uh, you know, listen, that's been a long, complicated relationship where I used to just be the guy that hit the record button. And then at some point I was laughing in the background. And so I became like kind of the producer character. Yeah. And then at some point, uh, you know, I was actually on the show. So, and then at some point, and then at some point and then at some point after

that you became the uh the known villain yeah uh where you were the the russian the russian rocket i'm sometimes called the commie yeah it's even talking about it it sounds like a weird dream i'm describing to somebody and i'm like like halfway through trying to talk about that show to anyone who doesn't listen to it it It's just indescribable. Yeah. So I don't at this point, I'm no longer involved, although I was recently brought back into, I guess, like talk. There's like a talk therapy session I did with Dave, which was interesting. Yeah, you're the Rosenberg whisperer.

Yeah. Yeah. That's what they that's what they have me there for. So I did that. I hosted a live show but uh no mostly i just get like panic texts on thursday night from jeff that's like do you have an sd card bro and it's like that kind of stuff so that's kind of my role on you put out fires you put out rosenberg fires yeah yeah i do i do the fact that you kept that show alive for as long as you did should be

like considered an ultra marathon and endurance yeah it's uh it's it's an adventure those those uh those fellows are interesting people uh i can't that show is like it seems like it's a bit a lot of people think they're doing bits on that show but that's just what it's like to be around them full time yeah there's no jokes it's just their life uh that's true you're also a new father, I should say. I am indeed. I have a little 10-month-old baby. His name is Rilo, and he's very cute.

So I thought since this is an advice podcast, after all, you can help us answer some baby dilemmas that you'd be more well-equipped to answer than, say, Jake and myself. I have many children. And I love all of them. Yeah, Jake has a very dad-like presence, I would say. You think so? Yeah. That means a lot to me. Yeah.

Coming from another dad. Yeah, I didn't say a good dad. I just said kind of a... You're more of a rad dad. I'm a bad dad. Yeah. You're an absentee father. That's right.

Yeah, but a cool... Like you always wonder what... You always want Jake's approval. Right. You want me to want Jake's approval. Right. You want me to be a glad dad. Sure. If you would just beamingly look at me from across the room and give me a good job, kid, I'd live on that for six months, you know?

Whoa. Easily. Cool. Tell you what, if you earn it, I'll do it. Oh, shit. I'm going to, yeah. Oh, shit. Hold on.

There's high stakes here. Oh, dude, I can't look at him anymore uh all right nick we need a guy's name so that we can refer to this man this email writer anonymously what do you got for us sure sure sure sure um gosh let's go melvin melvin right hi jake and amir i was hoping you guys could help me out with a problem I'm having with my unborn baby's penis. Let me try to explain. My wife is in her eighth month of pregnancy and the baby is just weeks away from being born. We know it's a boy and she is trying to force me to circumcise him.

I really don't want to considering I'm circumcised and no one on my side of the family. Sorry, I'm not circumcised and no one on my side of the family, sorry, I'm not circumcised and no one on my side of the family is. I don't want to let my newborn child go through any type of surgery, but my wife keeps saying how gross foreskin is. How do I convince my wife to let my son keep his turtleneck? The advice of two Jewish men especially would be very interesting. Thanks. Love, Melvin.

Wow. I'm intrigued. I know Nick's the one with the baby penis that he can talk about. Hey, watch your mouth. But his wife says that foreskins are disgusting, and he has one, right? That's right. He said that he's uncircumcised and everyone in his family is, and his wife's argument for circumcising the baby is that foreskins are disgusting.

That's right. Interesting. That's awesome, actually. Very complicated. Nick, did you guys have to make this decision in the eighth month? You can make the decision at any time, and immediately after your child's born, if he's going to be circumcised, I guess that's the moment you would tell them. Well, Amir's parents made that decision when he was 16. Isn't that right, Amir? Yeah. You thought you were going to the DMV to get your learner's permit? I thought I was getting an eye exam.

And before I knew it, a moil was slicing my dick off. Right. It wasn't even a doctor. You walked in. It was a surprise bris. Yeah. And it was a sweet 16 surprise bris. It was on Splash Mountain, too.

So, like, at the very least, I was getting like a little bit of a thrill. I'm so happy to know that. Yeah, there's a photo of it, of a Moyle slicing my foreskin off at the top of Splash Mountain. Now tell me this, as two Jewish men, I'm Jewish adjacent, my wife is Jewish,

which I think, that makes my child Jewish? Or you explain this to me, that's like a whole thing. Technically, your kid is Jewish. Wow. there's nothing we can do bud you have a jewish son okay great which is interesting because i grew up my mom was christian my dad was jewish but i like went to hebrew school and every time i like meet a jewish person they're like oh you're not actually jewish right your mom's like your mom's not jewish which i i think that judaism is like mostly chill but that being one of the rules it makes them a little not that chill like that's not Jewish, which I think that Judaism is mostly chill, but that being one of the rules, it makes them a little not that chill. That's not that good. That's not cool.

So, did you guys have a bris, Nick? Well, this is why I'm asking. We did not get our son circumcised, and I have strong opinions about this, but in the presence of two Jewish men, and I don't know what I'm dealing with below the belt line between either of you. So I want to ask, when you get a bris, is there a kissing, sucking part? Is that a thing that people do? So you should know that I'm a eunuch and Amir's a hermaphrodite. So we don't fully know the answer here. Sure.

But go ahead. I'm a giant dildo with a heart of gold. I did not get a bris i'm circumcised but i just got my uh foreskin chopped off at the hospital okay and a so a bris is like a party for when that happens yeah a bris is an event yeah it's like your first bar mitzvah it's eight days after you were born or maybe seven days there's a there's a rabbi, there's a blessing, there's some wine, there's a circumcision. Am I making up that there's a little kiss on the... You're obsessed.

I've heard it. It could be an ugly rumor. I just want to know. He wants to know if the mohel blows the baby i can imagine why this would lead to fights with the wife yeah look if there's not really like no i want i want the rabbi to blow the kid you're like no i don't want the rabbi to blow the kid that'll that'll i feel i feel no is there a mirror is there a kissy kissy is there a sucky sucky i feel like in my mind that's like the ultra orthodox thing to do

but like most people don't do it that way anymore right okay so that exists in some realm of of orthodox jewish culture but it's not like the standard practice exactly it's my guesstimate okay okay cool i i just didn't know if i was perpetuating an ugly rumor. But regardless, I still think we decided not to because you're chopping up your little man's natural parts. Why? I get it. You got tradition, whatever. And listen, I'm caught over here, baby. I got that aesthetic that my parents thought I needed to have. A nice clean cock. Sure. Keeping it high. What about that rod? Okay, but that gets into like, people say it's cleaner.

And that's an argument, which apparently Melvin's wife is making, that it's just disgusting to have a foreskin. I think it's harder to keep your foreskin healthy. I don't think it's impossible. But you have to clean it. Yeah. Well, you're saying... If rilo's a little slob you're saying more than a normal penis you like have to pull it back a little bit yeah i believe so but what like does that seem like a huge barrier for entry for people i don't know i grew up without it i have no idea i'm circumcised so i just naturally lean towards any future

child of mine should be. Why? Why? Just because you are? Yeah, just because it's like, oh, I'll give them the same cock that I've always known to have. I really can't wait for Nick Red's dad podcast. We're trying to convince him to start a dad podcast.

It could be a fully circumcision-based podcast. I feel like it's going to have to. I guess I'll like it's going to have to. I guess I'll do it here. I was going to save this for a twinnovation, but I have a business idea. I want to start the afterskin, which is for people who have been circumcised, but they want to restore themselves to their natural state. I want to do kind of a stem cell-based. You could style your foreskin whatever you want it to look like you could actually if i like this idea because you could partner with uh with

people that want to get circumcised oh you could trade skins you could have a foreskin donor yeah and if you can really create like um a bunch of like custom skins you can kind of wear like oh if i'm a pittsburgh stealer fan i could have a i could have a stealer's dick for damn damn i like that a lot do you guys remember winamp skins right so it's sort of like the same thing yeah i mean it's sort of like people do a lot of like you know like oh uh my my socks are tyrannosaurus rex right i've got cheeseburger socks but you'd have a a cheeseburger cock yeah that's making me think me think, who's the shoe designer that Kanye collabs with that? Abloh guy? Virgil Abloh.

Virgil Abloh. He could do one that says skin on it, like in quotes. Yeah, that's cool. I like that. That's actually really hip. Jake, would you circumcise your unborn child? So two things. One, no chance in hell I'm having a bris. And I actually already know that this is going to come to a head between me and my wife someday if I have a son. But I will not do a bris. I won't do it. But I would circumcise him. But I'm just like, I don't trust a doctor. I don't trust a rabbi. I'm going to do it myself. That's cool. Very cool. cool um the other thing is i i guess the reason part of it is is like i want to be able to like know how my kid's body works right like if if my kid came to me is like hey like i have a question

my foreskin hurts i'll be like jesus i don't know i don't know buddy i also like what if what don't you think rilo might be upset if one day he finds out that you're circumcised and he's not? Yeah, but you know what? The beautiful option he then has is he could go get circumcised. He still has a choice. But that's a painful thing. Yeah, but it's painful for your infant. They just don't remember it.

So you just enact a physical trauma on this child that can't speak for himself. If you do it in the hospital, I don't think mine was painful. You just don't remember. I remember everything. I remember coming out. I feel like there's a lot of justifications for it, but most of them circle around thinking like, I don't know, my dick looks cool and I don't want my kid's dick not to look cool. Right.

Well, don't you think that's a strong enough reason? I want my kid's dick to look awesome. But the perception of a circumcised dick looking awesome is based on that's just, it's because the person before them had that dick. But that doesn't mean that dick's awesome looking. I guess that's my argument. Do you guys know what your parents dick looks like parent my my mother doesn't have a dick oh come on and i resent the accusation no i wasn't even saying

that i was just saying like you were saying that you said your parents no i was just asking if like we talk about knowing your dad's dick like jake do you know what your mom's dick looks like what i was just saying do you know what your mom's dick looks like you were saying you were saying that or you did say or sorry dad's dick no you said it like three times what does your mom's dick looks like? What? I was just saying, do you know what your mom's dick looks like? You were saying that or you did say that? Sorry, dad's dick. No, you said it like three times. What does your mom's dick look like? I'm sure you have the courage to talk about this now that we're not in the same goddamn room. Now that we're doing a Skype record, you'll come at my mother.

You know I'll strangle your scrawny ass next time I'm in LA. With your foreskin. Dad, Nick Rad, do you know what your father's foreskin situation is uh yeah he's definitely circumcised i come from like a a line of catholic folk and that's part of their game too oh really it's every religion has that is it a religion thing i feel like well but religion is just connected to tradition i i don't i mean i guess like i guess there's a world where they're like, you're not getting into heaven because you got that skin hanging there. That's how Satan drags you to hell.

Off with the rapists and the murderers. That's the line to hell. And you led mostly a good life, but you have a foreskin. So I'm sorry. You actually, yeah. That guy there is a pedophile. And there's a space, I think, between the pedophile and the serial killer. Well, that's how Lucifer grabs you off the conveyor belt is with your foreskin.

And if you don't have one, then he just sort of slips off your shiny knob. We all know Amir's idea of heaven is that it's a large conveyor belt. Nick, did you have a conversation with your wife, or were you both like, no, it's definitely not going to happen, and that's that? We definitely talked about it. We talked about it. I was definitely not – I just didn't want it. I didn't want him to get circumcised. And she thought about it for a little bit but then went even harder in the direction of she went to people who are getting circumcisions are perpetuating genital mutilation.

Whoa. Just as a cultural bias, which I got which i gotta i mean i'm not throwing her under the bus that's an argument people make it's like a it's like a culturally accepted thing that we do to little kids and i will say because we did look into it there is some medical argument that potentially uh your infant and your child has a higher chance of urinary tract infection, right? I knew it. Infection and smegma, dude. I feel like smegma falls more into the category of like, if you're just not clean in general, like, yeah. Right.

You have earwax, smegma, pit stains, skid marks. Right. But you could do something about those. But the smegma argument gets made a lot the health argument which some also say that there are theoretically links to prostate cancer but that's also been debated because they take populations where circumcision is not the commonplace thing which really only america and i think like uh i don't know maybe south america i could be wrong but there's a couple amer America is one of the countries where most people are circumcised.

But largely out of America, it's less common, much less common. I'd love to circumcise your son. All right. I'll keep you in mind if we ever change our mind. Or if he reaches an age where he decides he wants his own circumcision i'll let him know unky amir is uh yeah has volunteered to do it himself moyle shmumu jake was talking once about like a a friend's mom giving him a haircut once would you be pissed if like ryla was did a sleep over and a moyle came by and snip snip bip right all of the other kids were doing god i i the the dad

rage in me just stirred at the idea that like someone else's parent would give my kid a haircut like did unpack that for me did did your did this parent call your mama and be like i'm gonna no i was like at their house this parent was like a hairdresser. They had a little like a hair salon in their basement. Right, right. And my friend had a rat tail. I wanted a rat tail. And she like shaved one into my head. That's kind of awesome.

That's cool. Yeah, it was cool. Were your parents pissed or were they into it? They weren't mad at my friend's mom. They were like, you're not keeping... friend's mom they were like you're not keep they were sort of just like no and my mom's friend who was also a hairdresser came over and shaped it off a different hairdresser yeah lots of different hairdresser friends my town that's cool yeah you just like know a lot of hairdressers i sure well i knew too but yeah they were both

neighbors but they're kind of rivals. One was into the rat tail. Oh, yeah, exactly. When the rat tail one saw me the next day without my rat tail, she bicked my head so I would have a shaved rat tail. I love that. It's funny. The idea of circumcising a child feels natural to me. But then when I see one-year-old girls with earrings, I like what the hell is wrong with those people yeah yes exactly bro this is we're gonna i'm gonna win you over by the end amir i i uh i'm gonna i'm gonna send you some charts and

some pictures i've uh i've been accumulating just a bunch of guys in Windbreakers break in. He's been collecting baby cogs. But Rilo has a septum. Yeah, yes, Rilo has a Prince Albert, but that's more of like, I just want him to be awesome. It's like a different, it's a different thing. He has his eyebrow pierced and a tattoo. Yeah, again, again, you're judging me for all the wrong reasons you got a head gum ink uh all right let's uh let's take a break we'll thank some sponsors come back with more questions

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now is your chance to make your voice heard, folks. Take this survey and we will read the results. It's gum.fm slash s-e-g-m-e-n-t-s. Cool. Sorry, I have to spell it out for some people. Yeah, you do. Thank you to Squarespace for sponsoring this episode of our show. Hell yeah.

Jake, you've been building on Squarespace for decades at this point. Exactly. Eons, it feels like. Yes. So you know how easy it is to use their simple, intuitive, drag and drop design technology? Yes, yes, yes. Easy to create, easy to sell, easy to promote. Squarespace is my all-in-one, first stop, one-stop shop.

Yeah. It's kind of funny that they have also award-winning customer support because it's so intuitive that even Jake was able to figure it out. But if you have any questions, they can figure it out for you as well. Exactly. And I did need a lot of help. I needed a lot of help. It's easy for everybody, but I still like to have my hand held. They even have AI at this point. You can update written content, product description, or email with

Squarespace AI. You can even buy a domain name through Squarespace. Exactly. Like, you know, that movie Freaky Friday? Yeah. How'd you like to own FreakyFriday.com? That'd be great. Is that available? It's not available. Yeah. But how'd you like to own FreakyFriday.com? That'd be great. Is that available? It's not available. Yeah. But how'd you like to own Freaky Tuesday? Interesting. Freaky Tuesday. So that's when you run into each other and some parts of your personality change, but ultimately it's not a full body swap.

Right. Mostly you're just concussed. Yeah. Which is new. It's kind of like having a new personality. Yeah. It's funny. I consider myself a vision lifter, which is why I recommend somebody buying visionlifters.com.

Oh, vision lifters. Yeah. Vision lifters with a Z. And not where you think. And it's not biz with a Z. So if you're looking to buy a domain name for yourself or for a loved one, build a store, an online portfolio, the greatest way to do that is to head to squarespace.com for a loved one build a store an online portfolio the greatest way to do that is to head to squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch just use that coupon

code segments to save 10 off your first purchase of a website or domain hell yeah so again you go to squarespace.com slash segments segments you save 10 off your first purchase and then use the coupon code segments when you're ready to launch that free trial. Enjoy. Thank you, Squarespace. And we're back. Nick Rad, do you have any unsolicited advice? Mom, I'm coming. Gross. Dude, I've got a lot of unsolicited advice. I just entered into dadhood, and so I feel like now my opinion matters. Before, it was just a...

Right. Yeah. You can have opinion and use it to really tell someone what to do now. That's kind of cool. Well, tell one person what to do. Yeah, but my opinion doesn't count for shit to anybody. He has to listen.

Yeah. I can't punish anyone that doesn't listen to me. You can actually punish someone. Oh't listen to me you can actually punish someone oh shit this is it's actually stressing me out the the authority is stressing me out i don't like to be in the position of authority but i do realize that now my opinions hold some kind of weight and i was looking around i uh i have some advice if you're if you're gonna buy a ladder uh buy a small ladder. Don't go big first.

So you're looking at this. We're in Nick's studio, and you're looking at that huge ladder that you have over there. That looks kind of useful. The walls are so high in here. This is the whole problem. I have tall ceilings in my studio, so I thought, get a tall ladder. Most of the time, I only need to be i don't know four or five foot above the ground right and i bought a ladder that's 12 foot tall and i can't move that shit ever and get anything done is it because it's heavy or because it like takes up

too much surface area on the ground it's very heavy the other day i knocked it over it knocked my computer off the desk it's cracked my my beautiful. Oh my God, I see that. I know, my beautiful iMac. Yeah, that's a nice iMac. I know. You knocked that off your desk. What were you doing? You know, moving a ladder, like dad things.

You fix outlets. You move furniture. I was trying to move the ladder. Fell, broke. Get a small ladder. That's what I'm telling you. Less than six foot. Keep it reasonable. You could get a six foot ladder in here. Yeah, but I always will regret. I'll always know what I did first. And that's unsolicited advice. This is what I'm telling you. You never think to not buy a 12-foot ladder until you've done it yeah the i think the problem is that your body is six feet you don't consider like you only have to be six feet to get

up to 12 feet you're like oh i need to get to 12 feet i'll get a 12-foot ladder but no right but i i just disagree with nick because like i'm in his studio right now and you standing on the top of that ladder, you still couldn't touch the ceiling. I know. Like if you ever needed to get access to those wires or pipes or ducts, you know, you'd have to have this ladder. Okay, fair. Second piece of unsolicited advice, get smaller ceilings don't don't go with your 24 foot ceilings like i've done and have a situation where to access the ceiling you have to risk your goddamn life right and you could die falling from the top of that ladder for sure i've thought about it i thought about if i fell in here there's no one around no one would see me i got a ladder i got a ladder question nick welcome to ladder cast

we're talking like uh when i think of ladders obviously i don't use ladders very often because i'm not a handyman but then i imagine some ladders just you sort of plop them against the roof of a building you know what i mean to get from like the grass outside to the floor of a building is that a different kind of ladder or is that just a regular ladder that's collapsed into one rung well they have they it's it's a great ladder question amir i just want to start with that thank you they yeah they have there are many makes and models of ladders so it's something i did not do enough research on they have what you're talking about so they're like the telescoping ladders where it's just you can't turn it into like a like a like an a-frame yeah freestanding making my hands you can't do that with the kind you're talking about

the telescoping where it just goes up a side slope you have to lean it against a wall yeah you got to lean it against a wall uh or they also have the ones that are just a-framed you can just lean that against something if you want to too so but then they have the ones that they have like these in between convertible ones where like if you're like a real serious ladder dude which you're not because you only have one ladder and wait okay but i'm an aspiration i'm looking around nick's treating himself like a ladder expert god damn it the first piece of advice was that he bought the wrong ladder i've been exposed oh dude that's not even my ladder bro i you guys were like do you have unsolicited advice? And I panicked. I fucking panicked.

I just looked around the room desperate for anything. Locked in on a ladder. Oh, my God. Which the guy that painted the studio left here. If I had a smoke bomb, I'd throw it right now. You'd never hear from me again. This is humiliating for me. Nick, do you prefer, of those two ladders, do you prefer the former or the latter oh very good dude very very good oh amir uh yeah thank you i've i set you up by that by

sending you a ladder six months ago so i can make that joke it's good because i was so confused why i've become so passionate about ladder research. I'm like, I'll use this someday. Someday I'll get a chance to explore this. A little note from a mirror that said, just wait. Yeah. Yeah. It was cute.

Have you ever, have you ever done the side sloping, like the side of a business ladder side of a building ladder and someone's at the top and then you grab the two like rungs at the bottom and then you just fucking yank it. You yank it forwards or like backwards sort of like pulling the carpet as it were letting the guy like sort of you lunge for the roof but if he misses then he like like my dad broke both of his legs once when i was a nasty

little three-year-old well he didn't do it you did it it sounds like you broke his legs oh yeah i guess in a way you could say that i broke my father's legs when i was a nasty little three-year-old that was the day before my circumcision i wonder if they're related you think that you think that inspired him to give you the circuit oh yeah he has to be punished he fell on my dick actually so it was sort of a medical necessity. You were swelling and they had to remove the pus, essentially. In a way, in a way. They had to pop your dick. Your penis was popped as a three-year-old.

All right, can we answer another question? Sure. Nick, what should we call this gentleman? Oh, sure. Also a man? Yeah. Okay. Reginald.

I like that. Reginald should be, that should be Rilo's name, actually. Reginald. That's his middle name. Reginald. Reginald? Oh my God, that's really good. This ties into the Lil Nas X Old Town Road situation from earlier.

Cool, cool. Reginald is a junior in high school, and a while back, a girl that I'm currently dating asked me if I was interested in going to a concert with her and my other two good friends. I would never pass up the opportunity to partake in such an event as I love shows and concerts. So obviously I quickly accepted the offer, also considering my other friends were going. However, she didn't tell me until recently that it's a fucking Lindsay Sterling concert. I had to look up who this musician was and it turns out that it's a fucking Lindsey Stirling concert. I had to look up who this musician was, and it turns out that it was absolutely the epitome of what I dislike in the aspect of music.

That's right, I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, especially the girl I'm dating, by bailing on the event. So what should I do? Is there any way I can get out of this without being a dick? Should I reconsider dating this girl because she listens to shitty music? Do you guys care about what your significant other listens to music-wise? It will honestly

be painful for me to attend this concert. Thank you, Love Reginald. What would you do if your son wrote that email? If you were like, damn it, Rilo. At age 10 months. Well, first I'd applaud his precociousness,

and then I'd tell him he is a little son of a bitch. He's just a little, which, oh, man, I can never say son of a bitch anymore. I just realized. Oh, yeah. That's your goddamn wife. I can never call my son that anymore. I just realized.

Oh, dude. Reggie. Reginald. Reggie. Have you guys heard of Lindsey Stirling? I have not, admittedly. No. No.

I guess I just imagine it being kind of like a Carly Rae Jepsen type. I feel like we need to look it up because maybe Reginald, I mean, his writing style was a little... What kind of music do you think Reginald likes? That's what I wanted to get at, yeah. Is Lindsay cool and she's not, or is he cool and Lindsay's not? Yeah, it feels important in asking this question. I think he seems cool. A younger, hipper, cooler violinist slash singer.

Oh, that sounds great. I do see a picture of her with a violin and like um what is that hat is it a pikachu no it's just like a white is it a country thing it's like kind of like um like a carrie underwood i don't know we're we're not listening so just based on her look it's hard it looks like she was maybe on dancers dancing with Stars. How does your musical taste align with your ladies? My musical taste and my wife's started very far apart. And as we've gotten old and tired, have grown more casually together. We just put on whatever Spotify says

we should listen to at this point. For me, getting older has been mostly giving up on music. There was a time when I was in my 20s where I'm like, I want to find new music. I want to find cool songs and go to shows. And now I'm like, no, I'll just play whatever. And then every once in a while, I'm like, I want to hear Blink-182.

I was going to say, when I think of Jake, I think of Blink- think of like blink 182 maybe like gin blossoms oh that's nice and like i don't think this is you i think this is more me but i think you were like a dashboard confessionals kind of guy were you on that line oh yeah dude you were oh yeah you were a dashboard guy i was i was a big dashboard guy very nice very good stuff would you guys invite your significant others to a dashboard concert um i don't think so because well one jill wouldn't go uh two i like when i think about nostalgic music like i would really need to like completely let loose uninhibited like

no with like no reservations at all so i think i would invite to that to a dashboard confessional show i would invite nick rad and vincent payne wow oh man just like three fucking crying dudes screaming infidelities uh the episode four i don't know when this one comes out but episode four of our wild web series thing is a deep dive into uh new metal in that era of uh the music that i kind of listened to it i was embarrassed but i was like i would sort of listen to it but i knew to kind of hate it yeah wait you wrote you wrote that episode yeah that episode i think is that one comes out episode three is out right now it's episode three is coming out next tuesday oh next tuesday so

episode four is actually this might mean that episode four i don't know when this is gonna right but i think episode four might be coming out tomorrow okay and that episode is my is like my favorite one i think it's because of all those like amazing references right so so i don't lindsey sterling might be this person's era of like the counter to something else. Like this is like, Lindsey Stirling is probably the most, the popular music that's out there. And this dude was probably listening to like the Dashboard Confessional of his era. So something that feels like a little bit of like a deeper cut, a little bit more emotionally informed. But maybe he's listening to this and like, you guys are fucking assholes.

I'm like way even. I like noise music. Yeah. bad how bad can a concert be like your girlfriend and all your friends are going the worst i don't think i'd want to go to a concert i wouldn't want to go i hate concerts every concert's bad i don't like concerts at all i unless i'm like gonna do drugs and hook up with somebody then like i really just don't see the point unless it was dashboard confessional of course blink 182 gin blossoms weezer like unless it was a band you liked dave matthews no i i think there's not really i could go to a concert for a nostalgia factor i couldn't be like hey i'm into this band let's go see them

do you think this guy should bail or go oh i mean bail like there, it sounds like you'll be a cancer to the crew. Also, like, I think that I respect, well, no, there's not really a need to try to be nice. Like he's overthinking it. He won't be missed. You're just like,

actually I have, like I've got to do something else. Everybody that is excited about this concert will still have a great time without you there because they're fans of lindsey sterling and you in this instance not in real life not all the time but right now you don't matter yeah i think well amir tell me this defining yourself by your like taste in let's say anything is a thing that makes a lot of sense at a certain age in your life or it just actually it feels like you just have to because you're not really

sure how else to navigate in the world i think as you get older music in particular just seems insane like that everybody can listen to and it's not hard to listen to any band now so that used to be like a thing you could be like oh i'm really committed like i got the b-sides i went in yeah but now everything is equally accessible so the idea that like you knowing about something and liking something and that makes you better than a person is that feels embarrassing to me yeah but you know he doesn't have to pretend that much you could be like yeah this isn't my cup of tea but i'm still gonna go for the camaraderie of it i would just suck it up and go i don't want anybody to do me if i will i like if i'm going to a show that i like really like the i i guess it really it kind of depends like how much they like this person but if like yeah i don't want someone

to do me a favor and try to have fun at a concert like that'll bring me down so if you think you'll bring the mood down generally don't go i think and i also think that you don't need to fully agree with your significant other's music taste that's yeah totally fine that's good advice amir other than little nas x i gotta read on jake over here but what are you listening to like what's your what's your jam just you saying little instead of lil really like pisses me off nick like to the point where i don't even want to fucking answer your question because you'll be like, other than Lil Wayne, who are you? Like other than, other than, other than.

Fuck off with that. Amir likes, he loves Top 40 music. Okay. And he will, you'll like find a favorite song and listen to it ad nauseum until you've exhausted it, right? That's kind of your vibe. You're like a song boy. You just like the, you like the popularity of it. That's kind of your vibe. You're like a song boy. You just like the popularity of it.

You're a song guy. Yeah, I'm a song boy. I'm a little song man. I'm a Lil Nas X man. I'm a hot 100. You're a songstress. Nick is a thespian. Sure.

Yeah, I remember very distinctly being on a plane with you, and you were just listening to that that jason mraz song i'm yours i loved i'm yours i know i still love i'm yours insatiable appetite for i'm yours absolutely and i know i i know a lot of them raz uh discography is that is i'm yours one where he scats does he like really get into it on that? Shoop-a-doop-a-doop-a-doop-a-doop-a-doop-a-doop-a. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think he scats in that. Okay.

Well, if it's not that song, he does on one of them. And it's, I don't know. It's a journey. It's interesting. Which is my other favorite band. You can't has enough of Meraz. I can't has enough. Oh my God, it all rhymes. miraz x oh my god could you imagine that

awesome mashup album a miraz up nice old town yours all right nick we're out of time one One last time. Where can people find you? Sure. Where can people watch you? Yeah, well, number one, just hit that HeadGum YouTube page. We're on the HeadGum East channel. But you know what? Watch the other one.

Jeff and Riley are fucking amazing. Shout out to them for spending a year, two years, three years just building. Forever. Forever. Doing great vids just give those vids a watch uh you'll see some of the head gum east youtube or sorry uh podcast people doing some guest cameos and our stuff and it's just a whole lot of fun um otherwise i don't know find me on instagram you'll mostly see pictures of rilo uh my little son just being cool he is a sweet dude only nick rad could come on the

show to plug his web series and like plug his son and somebody else's web series oh yeah and for that nick uh-huh i award you the golden mic no oh my god and i'll tell you what else oh my god i'm proud of you kid oh my god you did a good job. Oh my God. I'm so touched. Actually, Jake, I can't accept this. I actually... I insist. No, I'm going to have to give it to you because if we're talking about the best performance...

Why don't we all get one? Oh my God. Why don't we all get one? No, no, no. I'm sorry, Amir. This has to go to the person who just put it out there. That is incredible. What about all three of us leave as Golden Mike winners?

It's such an honor to share this Golden Mike with you. And as long as we're giving out awards, I think there's a third award we can give out. No. And why don't we do... Forget it. Amir, you can take on the tourney. Just don't even give me the award.

The end of the episode. The tourney for the episode goes to Amir and Jake and Nick will split a Goldie. I think that's the most fair way. I think that's probably the most accurate way. Because that way we all get an award. It's not fair. Of course.

What? I was going to say it's not fair. Well, okay, not fair, but it's right. It's the most correct solution. I think it doesn't have to be fair as much as necessary. You guys have never even heard of Old Town Road. Yeah, I don't know. As a thespian, I can say it's hard to judge art, but in this case, I don't know. It's hard to, as a thespian,

I can say it's hard to judge art, but in this case, it's pretty clear. Right, it's obvious. Shared golden mic, turdy for you. Yeah. All right, well,

thanks for listening, everybody. The opening theme song, which was an Old Town Road parody. Did I ever say who wrote that song? I don't even remember. I don't know. Probably not. That's why you got the turdy button.

I don't think so, because you didn't do it either. Tony Wirth either Tony Wirth Tony Wirth made an Old Town Road parody closing or if you have your own theme song or own questions send them all down to

if I were you show at gmail dot com this closing theme song is a Hootie Allen parody written by our old friend Justin Goncalves. So thanks, Justin. Thanks, Tony. Thanks, Nick.

Thanks to you guys for listening. And come see us in Chicago. HeadGum.com slash live. We'll be in Chicago June 14th, 15th, and 16th. That's right. See you guys there and see you guys next week. Yeah. I bought a fake ID off Craigslist.

My mom knows that she's going to be so pissed. Need to fix a problem without getting reckless. We got two Jews who can never be heartless. Real shit. They'd be helping us out. Any situation, just get them a shout. Keep the headphones on.

Keep it plugged in with the phone up high. They so wise. You're going to get advice on how to floss. They never heard them. It's your loss. They're helping all the people. They're making all the money, but I'm here to floss They never heard them, it's your loss They helping all the people They making all the money but Amir is still a cheap hoe Oh!

Just kidding bro, I guess I really don't know Gotta ask Jake first if it's true Is Amir, is Amir a real Jew? Shit, I guess I never knew Tell me what you really want from me Just trying to listen to this podcast Close mouth, close mouth i'll try to listen with no interruption no interruption what's my last name bro i don't know i don't even know

anymore that was a hate gum podcast