Segments - 454: Naked Neighbors (w/Hey Riddle Riddle!)

Episode Date: September 28, 2020

Friends and fellow Headgum podcasters, Adal, Erin, and JPC are in the zoom to discuss smoking, moving, and Amir's poetry.Advertise on If I Were You via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. Hey, I'm Jake Johnson, host of the podcast, We're Here to Help. But this episode right now that you are listening to is sponsored by Brooklinen. Brooklinen provides luxury bed sheets, pillows, comforters, and blankets delivered straight to your door. How do I know this? Because Brooklinen delivered me a quilt, sheets, pillowcases, and I love them. Plus, Brooklinen has been tested and awarded by experts, including Good Housekeeping, GQ, Wirecutter, and the hosts of We're Here to Help. So listeners can save a ton by purchasing a hardcore bundle, which includes a core sheet

set, which is the thing I got, extra pillowcases, and a duvet cover. You can also mix and match. They do this stripe thing that's cool, but that's a dealer's choice. So are you ready to build your dream fall bed? Visit in-store or online at brooklinen.com. That's brooklinen.com. B-R-O-O-K-L-I-N-E-N.com. Get 15% off your first Brooklinen order and save extra when you bundle. Hello, if you're listening to this podcast before September 27th, 2024, we're doing a live show in Philadelphia. You can still buy tickets at headgum.com slash live. Hope to see you there. Nice. Try one more where it's clear that I'm like the star. There's a reason I didn't have you say anything. Yeah. Because you're nervous. You're skittish. You're stuttering right now. I'm a little frightened. So I don't want you in this ad

at all. I don't want to be steamrolled, but I want the live live. So no, I won't be recording one. In fact, for you asking that, I'm going to keep this part in. Don't. This part is now. Edit this part out, but let's do one clean ad. No. You will edit this part out. You will absolutely edit this part out. Tell you what, I'm going to say my fucking social security number, so you have to edit it out, okay?

Let's hear it. 0913662. Now you have to edit it out. Keeping it in, but we'll see you guys there. No, no, no there no no no no i gotta reach out right now i'm feeling fit let me ask these two jews i'm feeling fit surely they'll help me out i'm feeling fit and agree with my point of view i'm feeling pissed! Surely they'll help me out! I'm feeling pissed! And I agree with my point of view! I'm feeling pissed! Should I break up with my girlfriend? I'm feeling pissed! Or should I fuck her best friend?

I'm feeling pissed! She just doesn't get me! I'm feeling pissed! She won't let me in her feet! I'm feeling pissed! Jake and Damir, please help me work this problem through I love my girl true But why have one, why not have two? Where do I go from here? She don't treat me like a man

She frown when I pierce my ear I'm feeling pissed She deleted my Instagram I'm feeling pissed She shall listce my ears. I'm feeling pissed. She deleted my Instagram. I'm feeling pissed. She shall list all my female friends. I'm feeling pissed. She hates when I master a page. I'm feeling pissed.

Her craziness never ends. I'm feeling pissed. She fills me with so much hate. I'm feeling pissed. Maybe these chill dudes will tell me just what I should do. If I submit this to the podcast If I were you Ooh, I give that a blink five out of 182.

We all went through very, like, whoever hated it at the top got into it and then lost it. Whoever loved it at first lost it and brought it back. We all, like, did a little rollercoaster together. I would have preferred What's Advice Again? What's Advice Again? What's Advice Again?

Oh, that's good. Ooh, that's good. Someone should do that song. That would be nice. Aaron, thoughts? Were there 11 drummers in that song? It sounded like there were at least 11 drum kits.

That's how fast Travis Barker is. JPC, are you aware of what song that was parodying? Oh, yeah. I just think that they were having a good time and I'm kind think that they were having a good time. And I'm kind of here for anyone having a good time, especially in these chaotic and turbulent times

that we all find ourselves in. That's very politically correct. That's actually the right response. That is the right response. But I feel like the chorus was so bad that I couldn't, I just can't quite get there, you know? I was having an awful time. They were having fun.

I was not. And that's what we support yeah it was interesting to hear almost like an ochreville river river warble in a blink 182 song like it was very very interesting i don't think it worked but it was interesting it was a cool choice for a moment i felt like you got the audio from my middle school's talent show i was like how did i get this i'm feeling this this. This is crazy. Jake, what can you tell? We've somehow ended up in a Blink-182 rabbit hole of theme song submissions, I think, because we like Blink. Jake loves Blink. And then people like sort of smell that out and like, all right, if you want Blink, here we go. So Jake, what do you know about that original song?

Is that a Tom? Is that a Mark? Feeling this is a, it it's a tom mark duo so tom tom is singing the um the the verses the uh i'll tell you right now you know that that kind of thing yeah and then mark is mark's doing the chorus and mark usually has a pretty soothing voice but it seemed like that guy was doing an impression of someone who had gotten a lobotomy right so he was mad about it during i was blinking in the lab late one night i gotcha okay all right cool well uh thank you to lauren from toronto canada for that uh i'm feeling pissed uh blink 182 cover uh he doesn't have anything for us to promote. He just wants us to do a collab with Game Crumps. So there we go.

Hey, in a dream come true, the Game Crumps are on the show. Now, Game Crump, correct me if I'm wrong, that's Garth Brooks' alter ego? No, it's actually a video game YouTube channel. My Mario Kart buddy Aaron is the host there, so maybe we can get him on uh or if you guys know him um yeah actually what adle why don't you call him right now that way we can sort of schedule the next host or episode while you guys are here rude thing to do

to guests right yeah to force them to do booking especially at the top yeah it hurts my feelings a little bit just a little bit right yeah k-r-u-m-p all right that's calling it's a rotary phone uh no hey riddle riddle uh is here in the house that's jpc it's aaron and it's addle um welcome back this is your second episode with us right correct yes we're sophomores yeah thanks for having us that's cool um last time you guys were able to fly to la uh flying traveling joy is canceled this year so everyone is in chicago still you guys all in chicago yes yes that's cool how's it over there are they is it getting cold or are people staying indoors what's the vibe you're leading with depressing questions how how is it over like joy is canceled how is it over there is it getting cold

yeah the pizza is getting more and more shallow uh sound like a newscaster sending it to weather how is it over there it's horrible thanks so much back to you well jpc looks like he's in cancun and adil looks like he's in wisconsin in fe and Adel looks like he's in Wisconsin in February. So, like, I'm trying to pick up a common vibe here, and I can't. It's the end of summer, so it's still summer here. I think it's like 80 today. It's actually nice today. But we're getting fall.

We've had a couple days that have been like sweatshirt days, so I'm excited for it. I love fall um you know aside from everything else that's happening in the world i feel like the weather aspect of fall is still very nice and i kind of do like the gentle transition from summer into fall got it it seems like this the spring transition goes like lightning quick into summer but fall always seems like a like a little slower of a decline would you say it's like a a red leaf sort of drifting aimlessly towards the ground, landing on a pile of previous seasons sort of for us to crispity crunch, clack our way through as we step, rake, throw, burn, destroy, ashes, forest becomes...

This really does feel like audio for my middle school talent. I'm feeling this. All right, sweet. Well, I'm sure you guys remember this is an advice show, an advice podcast. The only one on the internet that Jake and I host. Correct. That's still, that's almost seven years running now. Nobody.

Wow. Nobody has done another advice show that we host. It's just us still. So that's pretty exciting congratulations is it your seven year anniversary did it just happen or are you coming up on it happened in may so it's just on the other side of summer so we're still we know we're still basking in the glow from that from that anniversary that lucky do we know what do we know what seven is it It's like paper. Plastic. Oh, plastic, okay. So credit cards, yeah. I'm here to send you an Amex Platinum card.

Charge it to the game, baby. It's plastic, not actual platinum, so we're good. That's cool. All right, we got a question from a cool dude. So JPC, why don't you give us the coolest dude name we can refer to this guy as so we can conserve his anonymity. A coolest dude name.

I wanted to say Chad, and then I wanted to say Chet, so let's go with Chode. Oh, that's good. Chode writes, What's up, guys? I'm a healthy 22-year-old athletic guy. I work out four times a week and eat much healthier than the average individual.

I'm a basketball player and I meditate daily. Pretty cool so far, right, guys? Holy shit. He's amazing. Fucking four times a week, you freak. You can guess that I'm pretty health-focused. However, despite everything I do to be healthy, I do have a vice. It's weed.

I smoke a small joint every night or every other night. It's kind of a reward for me to chill out at the end of the day. I rarely drink, only on my best friend's birthdays, or smoke any crack. Is this a bad idea? Should I stop and force myself to take walks completely sober? I need your help. Thanks. Love, Chode. Chode. Can I ask a question? Did Chode say that he smokes crack on his best friend's birthdays? No, he rarely drinks only on his best friend's birthdays and then he never smokes crack. He never smokes crack. He wants you to know that

he does not smoke crack. Yeah. First of all, Chode, I really admire that you make your friends' birthdays about you. You get drunk and make it about you right on their birthdays. Everyone's waiting for Chode. Yeah, it's a Chode drunk day of sorts.

And if you're not a frequent drinker, that means that you get drunk real fast and make a scene, so that's pretty infectious. Chode, maybe this year for my birthday, don't drink just the crack then how do you figure um what is your guys's relation to the wacky backy the devil's lettuce does anyone here imbibe in a jazz cigarette every now and then or are you guys squares to me cop cop that's a cop

i try to arrest you and fail squares to me. Cop, cop, that's a cop. I tried to arrest you and fail. No, I'll take edibles. I don't smoke an actual joint because that seems like way too much work for this daddy. I will do edibles, but the problem it seems like you're going to come across, Chode, is at least when I take edibles, I get

my tummy wants some yums so i don't know how you smoke smoke weed and then don't get hungry and that would probably ruin your diet and your health and your men's fitness cover body yeah yeah interesting so so that would be the hurdle so i would say if it's causing you to snack, then you got to stop. If it causes you to snack, you must cut back. That's good. That's really good. Although he is working out four times a week and playing basketball. So maybe that's not an issue for him.

Right, because he's already smoking. Is it four times a week and then a fifth time that week he's playing basketball? Or is he counting basketball as one of those workouts? That's a great question. I would think because he plays basketball separately from working out and then he like workouts like he's talking about going to the gym and lifting oh okay that's pretty cool right more props to does he say this is like outdoor basketball or is this like nba 2k uh he's played yeah just a video game well he's he's from Toronto, so, you know, however much outdoor activity you can get there before it starts getting frigid, the lake freezes.

I'm trying to be with my friends, but I can't feel my hands. How can I grip a basketball if I'm uncomfortably numb? I didn't realize how much of your poetry you'd be reading. Yeah, so it's all available on the Patreon. Full verses and stanzas and rhymes. At our highest tier, you get to not read it.

For $30 a month, I'll shut the fuck up. I think for Chode here, what he's describing seems like a relatively normal thing, where it's like you smoke a relatively normal thing or it's like you smoke a he even says like it's a small joint you smoke a little weed yeah that's fine like it's fine to smoke weed it kind of feels like he front-loaded all that health stuff because he wanted to be

punished for like his bad behavior like maybe there's something in there that he's like i'm a bad boy right and don't bad boys deserve to get in trouble for smoking a little weed? But I kind of don't want to feed into that thing. So I'm just going to say, you're normal. You're fine. I'm not going to spank you. No one on this podcast is going to spank you, dude. Spank you. Spank you very much.

I might feed into the bad boy. You're a bad boy, Chode. You're naughty. You've been naughty. You've been naughty. And it's time for you to be punished. And sorry, Jake, can you ASMR that? Ooh, yes.

Oh, Jesus. I hate that I'm hard. It was unrelated, but now there's some fucking part of my body that likes it now. And I'm having a low-vian response. It was the third spank. Your dick is hungry like that dog. Chode, I don't trust people who don't have vices. If you're not indulging in

something a little bit every week, then your whole lifestyle is going to crumble around you. You need an outlet for something. That's a good question. What's your vice? What's your biggest vice? And don't say Miami vice, now available on demand. I would say probably ruining my friend's birthdays so alcohol sort of lets out some steam that's my thing oh that was for sure my thing

growing up anytime my sisters would have like a birthday or a prom or something i'd be like here we go time to make it about me in a drinking fashion oh just in any like anything yeah like faking injuries oh really yeah yeah just peacocking in a way so i'll i'll break a i'll break a foot just so people sort of ask me what's wrong and like i will feel that yeah jake what would you say is your biggest vice um i think drinking. And that's an actual unhealthy one because you're poisoning your body. Smoking weed is not even bad for you, right? That's kind of been proven.

That's fine. I don't know. If you do it every day, I'm sure it's not great mentally in the long term. Definitely, it's not as bad as the amount of whiskey I drink. If I could trade drinking whiskey for smoking weed, I'd be healthier for sure. Yeah. What do you mean? Yeah.

What do you mean? Yeah. What? So you don't have a problem just holding a glass of scotch? Jesus, you're shaking. It's 9 a.m., man. You've got a Nalgene full of whiskey. That's like so much.

So you caught that? I tried to turn my video off. That was hot gin. Paddle, JPC, vices? What's your main, what's your go-to? Oh boy, yeah, I would say beer or like tiki drinks or just TV in general. Yeah.

Vegging out. Yeah, I think video games is probably my biggest vice. Yeah, does that count? I guess, I think so. Because ultimately it's not super healthy for you to just sit in front of a screen for like four hours and play video games. So I think that counts as a vice.

That's true. I guess if you do it excessively, anything is a vice. What's your vice? Me? I thought you'd never ask. Oh, you got everyone's AR-15. Oh my god. Just shoot your computer.

Shut up his own house. I think the vice that I like doing the most that is most dangerous to me is gambling. That's a good one. What's your poison? That's a cinematic vice. That's a cool vice. Yeah, that's a real vice. Yeah, it's a good one. That's a cinematic vice. That's like a cool vice.

A good way to ruin your life. So you read my story, cinematic vice. That's awesome. Yeah, I didn't know because nobody opened the PDF yet. So I figured nobody actually got it. I'm a patron. What's your game? You're a bit of a Vince Vaughn.

So I'll play online roulette and lose sort of half my life savings on this app. No, I do a lot of sports betting from home. And then when Vegas exists, go there and gamble. But because I'm such a wiener, even like my vices are not like, like I still am scared. I still gamble as much as I did when I had no money at all. So I'm not like betting $30,000 on a football game. I'm betting like $25 on a basketball game to make it a little more exciting.

But yeah. One of my closest friends, he makes all of his money from poker. He's that good at it. But in college, he got addicted to it. So his life is like this fine line where like your job can turn into an addiction. Yeah. It's very interesting to talk to him about. I dabbled with online poker.

I'm like, can I just do this? But then it doesn't make sense to me. Like, there are weeks where you just lose and then it's like, oh shit, at my job today

I lost $1,100. Not a good look. At my job. Yeah. I'm a professional player so I lose 48% of the time instead of 51%. Yeah, I've done the math and I think this is it for me, podcast-wise.

I'm going to try to do that, try to handicap for a living. So I'm going to go to a horse race park, OTB as it were, and sort of see if I can make money on the ponies, figuring out which ones we'll finish first, second, and of course third, because that's how you get that trifecta box. And yeah, if all goes well, you'll never see me again. I got to ask, what horse are you putting the big money on? I don't want to give too much away,

but there's one called the Lucky Jew that's been placing pretty well at local parks. Also, I said, I go to the track and then I also do off track betting. So that, that part of the story didn't make sense, but I'm sort of, I'm trembling because I haven't placed a bet in 14 minutes. So I'm starting to freak out a little bit. The track has free wifi for you to do do make those yeah online bets oh yeah oh you better believe that uh so back to this guy are we concerned too much about his daily pot smoking or is that fine I think it's a good balance for his life this seemed like this email seemed like a vehicle

for him to be a braggart yeah he wanted to tell us he works out four times a week but he didn't have a problem so he invented one yeah yeah couch couch within this issue quote unquote was like 40 good things about this dude so go to hell congrats chode you're the man have you guys ever like tried to quit something just to see if it wasn't a problem like oh maybe if oh yeah if it's if i can just stop drinking or stop doing this for a week then it's not an issue. But then it's like, wait, maybe that makes it a problem because I'm trying to quit it. And then there's like a weird catch 22.

When I was in high school, I was like, no more soda, no more fucking fast food. I'm cutting them both out. I'm going to be healthy. No fast food, no soda. And then like two weeks later, I was like, no soda. That's what it's gonna be fast food still on the table it's still good let's just let's just cards on the table everyone

we know it's still good uh but yeah that that to me it was was was very very the convenience factor is very difficult but i wanted to see if i how much i could do it yeah i remember trying to give up french fries for a month, and it was not easy. Ordering a side salad with every hamburger like a freaking wiener. I thought you gave up, like, cookies for a year. It wasn't a year, but I did give up cookies. Yeah, I think, like, for six months I was like, I eat, like, so many cookies over the course of the week.

If I just stopped eating them, I would probably. I remember finding out that, like that carbs made you fatter. That was not a revelation of mine until after college. I remember when I was in college, I was like, all right, I'm going to go on a diet. I'm just going to eat pasta. I thought that was healthy. I was like, all right, no more...

Did you get scurvy right away? You got curvy right away. I tried to cut out caffeine because I was like, I'm not addicted to it. I just like it. And then immediately got such a bad migraine that I threw up. Oh, my God. From one day. As soon as you said it.

I went like six hours and I was like, I have to go to the hospital. I'm dying. Whoa. I'm so addicted to caffeine that's a good one for jake have you also drink coffee a lot i actually recently started i'm not there's no way i can quit coffee i i like aside from needing it i just really love it but i did i stopped drinking coffee in the afternoon so like last coffee is is at noon but i've just found a way to pack them all in before then. And then you'll have the caffeine pills

at like two and three, right? Then I move over to whiskey by 3.30 and it's fine. And then I'll have a little bit of crack. If it's my friend's birthday, I'll have a little crack. Whiskey mixed with a five-hour energy, just right before bed to soothe you. It's actually really impressive

to quit fast food in high school. I feel like most high schoolers don't have the impulse to give anything up. It seems like when you're 16, you just do whatever the fuck you want, especially food wise. I've always been kind of like a big, like aesthetic. Like I remember when I was in high school, my mom, she came into my bedroom and she was like, we have to buy posters for your bedroom you have to hang something in here it looks like a prison cell like you have to have something uh so i've i've i've kind of always been like that but i also like really like i haven't i'm like seven years sober i've been a vegetarian for six 17 years now so i i i'm pretty good at like cutting things out uh within reason but then there are things like that like fast food

where it's like sometimes it's it feels like a necessity yeah but that is an excuse you just kind of like make make up do you still do fast food even as a vegetarian you just got like an impossible burger and fries honestly yeah like the the revolution of impossible burgers coming out at places has made that option like i I haven't had McDonald's in probably... Revolution. 17 years. Think of all the revolutions in history that that is such an insult.

Your own personal Les Mis. Didn't your mom also eventually buy you a Raquel Welch poster? She's leaning on a Ferrari. Mom, that's hot. I feel uncomfortable. Mother. It wasn't just buy a poster it was like have this personality and it works she made you a gamer yeah uh all right let's take a break thank some sponsors and come back with more questions and answers with the hrrc That's the Hey Riddle Riddle crew.

Nice. Thank you to Squarespace for sponsoring this episode of our show. Hell yeah. Jake, you've been building on Squarespace for decades at this point. Exactly. Eons, it feels like. Yes. So you know how easy it is to use their simple, intuitive, drag and drop design technology?

Yes, yes, yes. Easy to create, easy to sell, easy to promote. Squarespace is my all-in-one, first stop, one-stop shop. Yeah. It's kind of funny that they have also award-winning customer support because it's so intuitive that even Jake was able to figure it out. But if you have any questions, they can figure it out for you as well. Exactly. And I did need a lot of help. I needed a lot of help. It's easy for everybody,

but I still like to have my hand held. They even have AI at this point. You can update written content, product description, or email with Squarespace AI. You can even buy a domain name through Squarespace. Exactly. Like, you know that movie Freaky Friday? Yeah. How'd you like to own FreakyFriday.com? That'd be great. Is that available? It's not available. Yeah. But how'd you like to own freakyfriday.com? That'd be great. Is that available? It's not available. Yeah. But how'd you like to own Freaky Tuesday? Interesting. Freaky Tuesday. So that's when you run into each other and some parts of your personality change, but ultimately it's not a full body swap. Right. Mostly you're just concussed.

Which is new. It's kind of like having a new personality. Yeah. It's funny. I consider myself a vision lifter, which is why I recommend somebody buying visionlifters.com. Oh, vision lifters. Yeah. Vision lifters with a Z. And not where you think. And it's not biz with a Z. So if you're looking to buy a domain name for yourself or for a loved one, build a store,

an online portfolio, the greatest way to do that is to head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, just use that coupon code SEGMENTS to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Hell yeah. So again, you go to squarespace.com slash segments. Segments. You save 10% off your first purchase and then use the coupon code SEGMENTS when you're ready to launch that free trial. Enjoy.

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have any it feels almost like we led we led into that from the last, they're so related to the poster thing. Joke about that issue. Freudian wise. Unfortunate that it comes up more often than I would wish. All right. Adil, you got some unsolicited advice? Yeah, I just moved into a house for my first house ever. And I have to say, thank you so much.

I have to say my unsolicited advice is never hire professional movers. This is like my fifth time in Chicago hiring professional movers. I've always had stuff break. They cost twice what they quoted. It was a nightmare situation. It took eight hours for them to move. So I don't know if I just have bad luck of the draw, but I would say post on Craigslist, drive around in the parking lots of your local college with pizza and beer. Don't do that.

Eng it. I can't start. Everyone else is shaking their head. No, I can't stress enough. Don't hire professional movers. It absolutely sucks every single time. So you do want help moving. You just don't want it to be from a professional. Yeah. There's something i have never met a mover a moving company that those people who operate that who are not just the shadiest motherfuckers i've ever met in my life it's a weird it is a weird industry like i feel like i put in a moving quote when i was moving to la like i submitted somewhere online and then for like the next year and a half i got a phone call like every few days of like a different place trying to trying to give me a quote to let me move

no thanks yeah the guys i just used they took they took eight hours and by the end of it where there's like two hours left they ended up calling two other people to come help because they're just like hey we're moving slower than we thought so we're gonna call more people and it's like i'm paying you motherfuckers by the hour like there's something there's something just wrong about paying a company by the hour and then they can just take their time and make more money like why wouldn't they take their time there's no incentive for them to hurry so i would say just get some uh don't get friends because then they'll resent you um because i i've resented friends who've asked me to help and then I ended up helping and it's awful,

but I would say, yeah, get some college kids, especially in these uncertain times, everyone's looking to make a quick buck. So yeah. So drive around to college campus with beer and pizza, luring,

luring the kids back to 18 year olds or high school. Notoriously good at moving bureaus. They're just so good at moving very fragile bases. They all have that belt that helps them sort of move their legs. You're advocating for hiring lower paid workers to do the same skill as these skilled workers. You're essentially like union busting or crossing the picket line. Well done, Adam. What I'm saying is that these aren't skilled workers.

We had, to start, there was four guys, and only one of them was moving boxes. And guess what? He was moving one at a time. The system's broken, my man. I'll pay for skilled workers. But I'm just saying you can't be a professional moving company and have unskilled, lazy fucks and say I owe them $200 an hour. Unbelievable. I think I've moved three times in Chicago.

I've used different movers every time, and it was one of the better experiences of my entire life. So yours is the opposite of... Yeah, like not having to move any of my stuff, and then everything gets to where it's supposed to be in the time that it's supposed to be, and everything works out. Yeah, to me, that's well worth it. But I also...

I know that I have less stuff than you, Adol, and I don't want to say that you have a bunch of crap, but we live different lives. I will say, you don't even have a poster. I don't have crap. I will say, you've been to my place. I had those like glass, it's like ceramic phrenology heads, which are like, I don't know, 80 to 100 bucks a pop. All those smashed.

I had two or three of those. They're all smashed. I'm missing my microwave plate like who what what happened to that why is that gone i'm missing a weight set i'm missing so much stuff i'm about to move myself and and part of my i'm i have hired a mover and part of the quote was like telling him how many boxes i have i'm like i don't know yet i haven't packed i'm at the stage where i'm contacting the mover. I don't have the boxes.

We're doing this a month from now. So like, yeah, the quote's only an estimate till they have all of your shit. They really... I wouldn't even have an educated guess of how many boxes it would be. I would have no idea. They quoted us at like $650 and it ended

up being $1,400. Oh, boy. Oh, Jesus. So over twice. So worth it. A good rule for estimating boxes is like think of the maximum amount of boxes that you could ever possibly imagine all of your stuff fitting in and then double it or triple it. Because whenever you're fucking moving, it's like no way am I going to use 20 boxes. And then you have like 48 boxes and you're like this is half, this is half of the boxes

You're stuffing a tea towel into the corner of a box Aaron, did you have unsolicited advice? I do, this was given to me as unsolicited advice and it actually, I think is great is have two separate Instagrams and have one Instagram be people

that you've met and you know in real life and have another Instagram to follow like artists and celebrities and musicians or whoever else and then don't go on the celebrity Instagram more than like once a month because I think it messes with your brain and the psychology of like

seeing your friends as celebrities and seeing celebrities as friends interesting I thought you were going to say and then delete them both your brain and the psychology of like seeing your friends as celebrities and seeing celebrities as friends. That's really interesting. I thought you were going to say, and then delete them both. Oh yeah. Obviously do that.

But, um, uh, if you're addicted to them, like I am, it helped me a lot. I just was like, Oh, this is nice.

Cause now I'm just looking at like my friends, kids and not. That makes a lot of sense. That's really nice. I know that I was like, I, I like teased myself uh about using the close friends thing on instagram i like filled out like i chose all my close friends

and i was like i'll post my close friends and then i never did but there is something that's like it's crazy to like look through that and be like wow i follow a lot of people and i have like 30 close friends interesting yeah so wait so the ones the ones that you don't want to view are just the celebrities or is it other people? Just people, like sometimes it's like artists or people I don't know just because it, I think it messes with my brain a little bit. It's very peaceful.

Do you have like two different names? Like the people, your close friends and stuff know you as one thing and then you have just like a fake instagram for the other one yeah and i don't know why but my name on it is emily which is this sort of other cool kind of just like a sexy undercover and when you love that i have when you look on that when you wear a blonde wig and fishnets yeah and like clark kent. And a tiny pistol. I'm a whole different person.

Yeah, exactly. Actually, let's bring in Emily. Emily, let's talk to you about your Instagram. Oh, no. Oh, no. I thought she was cool. No, she's not cool at all. What about just unfollowing celebrities on Instagram?

Yeah, that's probably the better thing to do. But you're not going to do that. No one's doing that. It's fun. I want to follow Diane Keaton on Instagram, but I don't need to know how her whole life is going all the time. I can check in with her once every two months.

How is Diane, by the way? She's great. She's thriving. How many pictures is she wearing white pants in? Probably all of them. She's wearing a hat in almost all of them, I'm sure. Oh, you better believe Diane Keaton's wearing a hat. Isn't that right, Emily? That's right.

I can't find her voice. I need a couple more minutes. Have you guys seen that Social Dilemma documentary? Has it changed your social media habiting? It just stressed me out. I've heard about it, but I haven't seen it yet. Yeah. that social dilemma documentary, has it changed your social media habiting? Oh, I asked me out. I've heard about it, but I haven't seen it yet.

Yeah. I said yet, like I was planning on seeing, I walked in while my girlfriend was watching it. And it was, all I saw was like a reenactment with one of the guys from mad men. And then the guy from the righteous gemstones. And I was very confused.

Cause I was like, what is this series? And she's like, it's like a documentary. And I'm like, well, this is, those are clearly like semi-famous actors like what's going on so i they went a little too far in the reenactment thing that i found that to be

unsettling and bizarre and by the end i was skipping ahead like four minutes at a time because it was it was all some weird teleplay. It made no sense. I thought that was crazy. It's really weird to see Pete from Mad Men in a hoodie where I was like this, it just made my skin crawl because I'm like, he should be in a suit and tie.

Like what's going on? Yeah. Have you changed anything about your social media consumption, Jake, since watching this doc? I know you're incredibly impressionable. So I'm just wondering if it actually had an effect on you. I know that after Food Inc., you didn't eat a hamburger for a decade.

Yeah, no, I don't think, I don't want to let this one sink in too much, and I don't think it really even would because I threw my phone away, so I can't even really use the phone to change my behavior. Because there was a B on it. Not because it's for another reason

but has it changed anything or not really or just made you more aware i'm only like a week it's only been a week but i definitely i think i just started noticing like i would pick up my phone to like look at an alert to or like to see if anyone emailed me and then the phone is like in my hand so i'm like oh just i might as well on Instagram. And then, and so I'm trying to be a little more conscious of just like absentmindedly getting sucked into my phone. I still have to get sucked into my phone though. So I don't know. It's, it's a really weird balance. Yeah. Like waiting in line or sitting on a toilet. What are you supposed to do? I can only bring my Rubik's cube so many places. I did a thing.

Well, so this was more at the beginning of, of quarantine, like maybe like March or April. But I put the like time limit thing on my phone because I have an iPhone. So it's like, if you've been on Twitter for over an hour, it just, it just says like, Hey, no more Twitter for today. And then you can bypass it, but then you

have to feel bad. And it's like, are you sure you want to break that promise that you made to yourself? And I found that helpful. I mean, at least it helps like have someone else be like, hey, you've been on Twitter for an hour today. Like that seems insane, right? And I'm like, yeah, yeah, for sure. It's insane. Like I'll put this down. I think the best thing, and I don't know if they're still doing that but uh but i know lauren lapkus and her husband did a thing where they gave each other their phones and they they concocted a password for the for each other's instagram account or twitter account and then gave back the phone and then anytime they want to use instagram or twitter they have to hand it to

their spouse and say hey would you put in the password? And then they'll let them in. And so that way you're being held accountable to some degree of like, do I want to, do I want to bother them about this right now? Or like, maybe they're not around, maybe they're gone. So I can't even do that. So I think that's a kind of a cool method. Oh, interesting. That is really cool. Another thing that I did on my phone is I changed like I, my Twitter app and my email app and stuff, they're always in the exact same place on my home screen. And I just swapped locations with, like, Google Home or, like, shit that I don't ever, ever, ever open just to see how many times I unconsciously grab my phone and open up Google Home. And I'm like, why am I controlling my lights right now? Like, what the fuck am I doing?

And it's just like, it's my brain being like, get on Twitter, get on Twitter, get on Twitter. I did the exact same thing, except with my photo app. So I'm just constantly opening up my latest photos. I'm like, oh, all right. Weird. What about this? It's a dummy Instagram that just shows you Google image search randomness. So it's like you're still scrolling through pictures, so you get the dopamine rush, but

it doesn't actually, which is basically what Instagram is. I look at it, and then it's like, if you ask me 30 seconds later, what did you see? I'd be like, I don't know. Who's to say? You should be able to post on it too, and then as you scroll to your photo, it'll be like 1,000 likes. That's Instagram. But no, they wouldn't be real likes. Yeah, I see.

Yeah, there should just be an app that's's like you got a million likes and a million comments that's an app that sends you notifications of positive likes and comments that's good oh cool Diane Keaton just said nice pants so we're just talking about living in a coma style life and then they're just pumping you

full of dopamine that's not actually true a VR yeah this is like a Black Mirror episode you mentioned the Rubik's pumping you full of dopamine. That's not actually true. A VR. Yeah, this is like a Black Mirror episode. You mentioned the Rubik's Cube earlier. Did you guys watch that Rubik's Cube documentary on Netflix? No. The competition? I sobbed.

Wow. And it's really short. Go watch it. I cried so hard the whole time. It's amazing. It's seven and a half seconds long, but it's really, really good. If you slow it down.

It's a vine. But it's so interesting. It's like a a half seconds long, but it's really, really good. If you slow it down. It's a vine. But it's so interesting. It's like a vine from 2015 and it made me sob. My friend has got a Rubik's cube and I used to know how to do it. So I was like, oh, I should do that again. Because then it preoccupies your hand so that you can't actually scroll. You're just moving colors around. We're like, because my appetite for social media gratification is insatiable,

then maybe I can make a TikTok about it. And then so it's almost like a way for me to like still get that dopamine rush, even though I'm doing the Rubik's Cube. So if I could just fucking do it faster and faster and it's never fast enough. Will you put the password in, please, Kavital? This is to unlock my phone. What if there's an app? Listen up, tech heads. What if there's an app where you have to like solve a riddle or a puzzle or a Rubik's Cube, and

then once you solve it, then you get 10 minutes of Instagram time or something? That's good. It's like one of those alarm clocks that you have to like... You know those alarm clocks that break apart or run away from you, so you have to get out of bed and... What? Have you ever seen those things? Is this from Interstellar?

The hardest I laughed in the last two years was when I discovered those alarm clocks that jump off of your side table. And you have to chase it to turn it off. That's insane. I've never laughed harder in my life. I was sob crying. That's wild. What are we doing? Are they little robots?

Why are you so tired? Do they have like wheels or something? Yeah, they have wheels and they like scream. And so at like 8 a.m., they just roll off your side table and chaotically go around your room. So you have to, in a panic, just like try to find this screaming robot that's maybe under your bed. I am ordering one of these tonight. Remember the game Perfection as a kid where it's like fucking trembling and you're like putting puzzle pieces in slowly. Oh my God.

That's so much anxiety. I hated that game. Oh yeah. So it could be that as an alarm of sorts. Oh, horrible. You wake up and you're instantly in a bomb diffusing situation. The worst way to wake up is that much stress. Instantly.

Humans create problems and then force weirder, more difficult issues. It's like when you found your friend Dave sleeping with his sunglasses on in a bright room. Instead of just like turning the room off, we just add more sunglasses. And then we make lights brighter. And then we have to make newer sunglasses. Anyway. So funny. JPC does jpc have advice unsolicited unsolicited advice uh you know my uh my unsolicited advice would just be something that i've been doing a lot more uh during these uncertain times video games yourselves in

uh video games no it's just go for walks like try your best to go for walks wear masks if you go outside but like walk around a little bit especially when uh the weather is uh nice because i like the fall weather but if you are one of these people that is like cooped up inside your own uh house or apartment or condo or whatever um get out get some fresh air it's a good i know know that my advice isn't polarizing, like, you know, don't hire movers or create a new Instagram account every month and then delete it.

Someone will make it polarizing. Someone will find a way to be like, how dare you say go outside? Yeah, I've been staying inside more and I've never been healthier, happier. Teeth falling out. Why I'm paler than the night sky greasy big sun isn't gonna control me i can i can get behind walks i can definitely get behind walks that's great uh is anybody a dog owner i'm a dog owner so i might the walks that i take are like mandated by another

a third party who is very insistent that we go out there. But I think that's also just kind of an excuse for me. Like I like having a walking buddy. Yeah. And it's nice to have to pick up shit too on a walk. It's like, usually it's like, I'm just walking and I don't have to pick up any duty. And now it's like,

and I have to pick up little duties. That's good. Sometimes I'll be walking without my dog and I'll see like a goose or a rat dropping or something like that. And I'll pick it up just because I fucking missed the rush. It's like Aaron's fake Instagram. I'll use a leaf. I just like that and i'll pick it up just because i fucking missed the rush it's a harrods fake instagram i'll use a i just need it a bag that tack that tactile feel of a very thin sheet of plastic between you and touch and poop oh baby you an oblivion baby i live in downtown chicago and so i can't really walk with my dog

we can go to the park that's attached to my building and that's it because like the sound of the trains and like the amount of traffic and construction sound she's just too scared she's not into it no she's an indoor dog oh yeah i i will say that the caveat to that is i was uh which is a chicago street um but i was uh walking down halstead uh the other day because we were picking up food and it's not in an area where I live. It's like way busier. And there was just so many people on the street. And I was like having anxiety because I was like, this is not like me walking in my neighborhood. This is stressful. It's like I watched a man just without a mask openly spit onto the ground. I'm like, people are still doing this. This is wild. Like, what are we doing? So that part is not ideal. But

if you have a quieter place to walk it's great mediterranean food or what were you picking up like hawaiian food really like a bouquet bowl or like uh what was it like a rice with like or an acai i'm a vegetarian so it was like rice and tofu for me are you eating fish like salmon probably some yeah was it poi? Salmon. Probably some sort of poi. Yeah, was it poi? Yeah, like a... No, it was a spam katsu loco moco was what my girlfriend got, which is like deep fried spam, rice, mac salad, egg, and gravy. Sounds fucking amazing. Oh my God. Spam is...

Yeah, I mean, it's good. Spam is meat or not meat? Spam is ham. Spam is meat. I guess. You cannot have spam. I can't have spam. Spam is like army ration meat, right?

Yeah. Yeah, which is why like Hawaiian food kind of incorporated it because there was a bunch of it for like military bases, I guess, on Hawaii. And so then they kind of embraced it and now they use it a lot in like Hawaiian food. I didn't know I was going to learn today.

Loco Mocos, anytime you see a restaurant serving Loco Mocos, buy one. They are delicious. Buy the restaurant? They're so good. The hell? How much money do you have?

You fucking walk around town buying fucking restaurants? That's awesome, dude. Oh, I'm ruined, but... Because I'm invested in Hawaiian food in the Midwest. Nobody will fucking walk in here. Well, it's the names of the restaurant. I have Poi Dog Pondering.

It's a lot of terrible just band names. Jake and I are considering moving to Hawaii, so this is all good information. Yeah, we've been talking about it. Do you have a specific island that you're thinking about? Maui. Great question. It's Maui.

Maui? The jewel of Hawaii it's Maui. Maui. The jewel of Hawaii. Really? The road to Hana. Have you guys been before? Together? We've been to Hawaii before together. We've been to Honolulu.

I've been to Oahu, but I've never been to Maui. I'd love to go to Maui. I'd love to be in Maui. I'd love to live in Maui. You have to take the been to oahu but i've never been to maui i'd love to go to maui i'd love to be in maui i'd love to live in maui you have to take you have to take the road to hana and the road to hana is just this winding beautiful road and it ends at charles lindbergh's grave which is just a delight wow and there's really good hawaiian food reality yes tv shows do and just like go to hawaii for a little bit oh that's that's cool. Jake and Amir take Hawaii. Yeah. See you guys partying there.

That's cool. No one's filming you. Yeah. We could do it as a podcast. Jake and Amir take Hawaii. And it's just us broadcasting from our Airbnb about the movies that we're watching. Can I suggest you shorten Jake Amir Hawaii into Jamiroquai? Ooh.

Jamiroquai. Virtual insanity. jamiroquai oh jamiroquai virtual insanity uh i i will say i love hawaii and but the it's the least creative that i've ever felt in my entire life being in hawaii because i'm like what is the point of creating comedy or anything when you could just like lay in the sun and climb a mountain and swim in the water. It's like, why? It's already paradise. Like, why would you need to do anything? There's nothing left to achieve.

Yeah. Sorry, I meant go to Hawaii and retire. I'm done. Yeah, there you go. I don't need your great morning stuff. That sounds great to me too. I've tweeted my last tweet, posted my last TikTok. You'll never see me again.

Go to Hawaii and pick up dog shit, please. Yes. The hard part is convincing somebody to pay me $20,000 a month to live there, which is actually why I brought you guys, because $20,000 a month is a lot, but divided by three, feels like reasonable, right? $6,700 a pop. Erin, can I count on you?

Yeah, only if you send me a poem every day. No, because that's the creativity shit. This is what I said in my job. She was on board. No, I don't want to do it. Wow. And I was in the middle of writing a check. Well done.

Fuck. All right, fine. Every other day, but that's it. All right, we got one last question about neighbors. Neighbors. This is a 20-something Canadian gal. So, Erin, you've already created a character in this podcast. So what's one more?

Can you think of the name of a 20-something Canadian gal? Let's call her Hockey. That's cool. Hockey, right. It's gender neutral. I'm a 20- canadian gal who lives with her parents and is in a bit of a predicament the backyard neighbors that's neighbors for you guys like to hot tub with an o or an ou yeah oh yeah got it continue uh likes they like to hot tub

in the nude it's a man in his 50s who lives there, but his girlfriend is also a participant in the nudist activities. Our kitchen window backs into their backyard, so every day around 5 p.m. when I'm making dinner, there's an unwanted show. They install the screen on the back of the hot tub in our direction, but have only ever used it if they could explicitly see us in our backyard. My parents also have seen the show, and they, my mom at least, would appreciate the screen down or bathing suits on. I thought about writing an anonymous letter to them

to make the screen door or use the one that they installed, but I think our backyard and house is the only one with a direct view, so they wouldn't really be anonymous. Am I being prude? And just, am I being a prude and just need to avoid looking out the window for a couple hours?

An outside perspective would be appreciated. Thanks for making Monday's Better Love from Canada hockey. All right, hockey. Would you guys be excited or pissed if you had to stare at a nudist couple getting it on? Are those my only two options? Yeah, excited or pissed. Did it say how old the girlfriend was? Yeah.

I'm so confused about that. Like the man is in his 50s and then he has a girlfriend? That's right. A girlfriend who is a participant and then I'm not sure what age. Nude people. I love how we anonymized her age. Are they kissing and stuff or are they just sitting naked? Yeah, that's the question. I think how we anonymized her age. Are they kissing and stuff, or are they just sitting naked? Yeah, that's the question.

I think they're just chilling. They're just enjoying the tub. Yeah, I mean, like, when they say, like, you have to look at it, you don't. Like, you just don't. You just do not have to look at that. The third option of not being excited or pissed.

Just ignoring it. Neutral. I think that there's a couple of different ways that you could go about this. If you wanted to, you could just have a conversation with them and say, hey, we see you naked in your hot tub often. It's weird. It's uncomfortable. Would you use the screen?

Perfect. Or my option, because I don't like that kind of confrontation, go buy a tripod set up a camera on your porch facing their backyard don't stand by it just set it up the presence of a tripod and a camera pointed at me would stop me from being naked i'm sorry it just would it's also not even able to have a tripod that could backfire immediately because they've been there getting naked more and you're like oh no they are into it they're excited get off to that shit i'm i'm on board with jpc's idea in terms of one yeah i think a conversation of just like hey They're getting naked more and you're like, oh no, they are into it. They're excited. Get off to that shit.

I'm on board with JPC's idea in terms of one. Yeah. I think a conversation of just like, hey, this is around the time I cook dinner. Could you do this an hour earlier or an hour later so that it's not during my meal prep time? Or I do love the idea of like the passive aggression of like having every day at that time have like a garage sale that's like or like backyard sale so that you're populating your backyard with like 20 people who are inevitably going to see that so it makes them uncomfortable uh not to body shame do do your thing just just

don't um just don't put that out there for others where they have to see it what about fighting fire with fire? Okay. So Haki lives with her parents. Haki, how would you like to take a fucking nude jacuzzi with your mom and dad? Every day at dinner time. Please, news me. Dicks and boobs as far as the eye can see. And then another neighbor starts complaining and they get in on the action, and suddenly it's this fucking back-in-Hillian orgy street party of epic proportions. Everyone's greasy, wrestling, getting naked and hot and bothered.

Mom, this is really fucking sexy. That's a neighborhood watch. Don't you have blinds? I would just put my blinds up at night. You don't need the light coming in because it's nighttime. Just put a curtain up or put your blinds down and let them enjoy their yard. I do think your blinds does make some sense because it's not. Sure.

I mean, it sounds like the view is directly of the neighbor's hot tub anyway so you're not losing that much you know whether they're in it or not if the blinds are drawn um my other idea my other idea is to just kind of start going in and out of the house during your dinner prep you know maybe you're grilling maybe you're eating on the porch maybe you're taking out the garbage but just sort sort of make it seem like the backyard is not like a private oasis. Yeah. Just you're in and out of the house. Giving the neighbors like, put the fear of God in them just a little bit. Like, oh, we're not actually alone back here. Because how hard is it to just leave the screen down all the time? Why do they put it up sometimes? Not hard.

Why do they put it up ever? You're absolutely right. Blinds would solve this problem immediately. It's also, I think, maybe the least fun way to solve this problem. I think that what hockey needs to remember is have yourself a time. The next time he's coming out naked to his hot tub,

rush out there and be like, hey, just wanted to let you know you should see a penis doctor because that's not what they're supposed to look like. So get that schedule on your own time, but do that quickly because you are running out of time. Men love it when you call their penis weird. They love that.

What are you trying to say? I'm not even talking about you. She's talking about the other guy. Hey, first of all, nobody said weird. I said not supposed to look like that. Wait, and real quick, Amir, does your doctor grab your dick when he checks for a hernia? Just the optometrist. Yeah, no other doctor does that.

Just the dentist. That's why I was recommending a water pick earlier off mic. But yeah, so he'll grab my dick and tell me to sort of rinse between my throats. So I have a receding scrotal line, which is sort of like, it starts in my underbite and goes all the way down through my taint, out my shaft, and I have this-

Oh, there's so many words I hate here. Anal gingivitis of sorts. It's disgusting. I have a plaque on my rack. So across my chest i have this thick almost hardened white cock c-a-u-l-k but okay hold on that's the canadian pronunciation there's a police outside my fucking house finally yeah i guess somebody called because I've been podcasting in the nude for a while, and I guess they can see it. Shit.

All right, sweet. So I guess blinds if you're uncomfortable or get over yourself. It's not that big of a deal. Would you guys do anything about it? Or you guys don't care? I don't think it would bother me so much. Yeah, I don't think so either. I think it's like that.

I see my neighbors naked in New York City all the time. It's awesome. Yeah, I see you have binoculars right there too. So cool. Some of them aren't quite naked and you'll shout,

come on, you can take it off. What are you waiting for? I don't think I've ever been to New York City, by the way, without seeing someone naked in their apartment.

Just because there's so many buildings, there's so many windows and there's so many like exhibitionist like type people out there that are like, legit every time i go to new york city i'm like naked person there it is yeah it happens sometimes you're in front of the window and you realize that the naked person is you yeah i'm the naked person today and jabe since you go to time square and see a naked cowboy yeah it was so confusing. I'm from the Midwest and I was like, I love cowboys, but I don't love this showing off your body.

So what's happening here? In hockey's defense, if I lived with like friends or a partner, the nudity wouldn't bother me. But nudity and sex and all sorts of things like that are embarrassing when you are living with your parents. I wouldn't want to have that discussion with like my mom and dad of like, what should we do about the naked neighbor? It's a lot less whimsical when it's with your parents. With parents, any sex discussion should be through posters, right? Posters should be the catalyst for any sort of sex talk. Yes, yeah. You have a poster on your wall. The way that you want to discuss every naked person that you see in someone else's apartment is with your five white best friends in new york city uh one of them's name is chandler one of them is a

duck one of them is ross and you're seeing it from a balcony and you're just always commenting on it and it's like a through line through like 10 seasons ugly naked guy but then didn't he die i think he did in the show or in real life in the dies you never see him but at one point they're like ugly naked guy's not moving and he like ends up dying jake i don't know if you know this but if you die in friends you die in real life wow nightmare on elm street of sorts this i just thought of this because of the hockey talk isn't um and i could this could be totally wrong but somebody once told me that sort of hockey groupies are called puck bunnies which to me is like the best thing in the world i i don't know that's a wonderful nickname i aspire to be a puck bunny myself yeah actually does anybody here want to be my puck buddy so we'll like uh it's like friends without

benefits slash icing rules offs Offsides off. Friends without benefits. So friends. Yeah. Yes. Friends with no benefits at all. So yeah. Dental is not covered, but we still get to hang out.

Phoebe and Joey. Yeah. Yes. All right. Hey, Riddle Riddle. Pitch us your podcast in case, for whatever reason, someone has not heard about it yet. Even though we've been on an episode, you've had over 100 episodes on the Hedgum Network. It's a runaway smash hit. But if you're listening to this podcast for the first time, what is Hey Riddle Riddle?

So it is a riddle and improv podcast. We are the three hosts. We're Chicago improvisers, or we were when there was improv in Chicago. And we do riddles, and then we improvise scenes based off of the riddles. We're not good at riddles. We're not riddle experts and all the riddles are bad. We're 100 episodes in and we've run out of riddles. But still come and give us a listen because it's a fun time. Start at the beginning. Oh, yeah, definitely start at the beginning. Yeah. Do you remember your last favorite shortish riddle? Is there one that we can answer right now and sort of putting you on the spot? Boy, oh boy. Yeah, we had a riddle submitted by someone's six-year-old son

that was like, now I'm going to forget it. What did the bull have for lunch? Oh my God, wait, hold on. Us thinking for an hour and a half. I will say, as you're thinking about the answer, it's less of a riddle and more of a children's joke. So it's like a hamburger or something.

It's like a Laffy Taffy reject. It's a Lunchable. And again, this is a six-year-old. Yeah, we tore that kid apart for like 25 minutes after that. Yeah, his dad was like, my six-year-old son Yeah, we tore that kid apart for like 25 minutes after that. His dad was like, my six-year-old son thought of this in the car on the ride home from school, and we absolutely tore him apart.

You should have him on as a guest. You're more of a joke than a riddle, you piece of shit. Sweet, yeah. Hey Riddle Riddle on the HeadGum Network. Check it out. Thanks so much for stopping by, you guys. Thanks for having us. Yeah, thanks for having us.

Thank you for having us. This is so fun. If you have your own questions or theme songs, send them all down to ifiweryoushow at gmail.com. The opening one

was that Blink-182. That guy nailed it. And this closing one is one of our most prolific songwriters, Justin Goncalves. Jake, remember him? Of course I remember JC.

I mean remember JC. I mean, JC. Fuck! He wants a shout-out to his Insta, which is TheBestYear96. So, Aaron, you don't have to follow him, but maybe Emily will. I'm going to follow him! This is so funny.

I don't know where it is. So thanks, Justin. Thanks. Ooh, do you remember who wrote the opening one? A little dementia test for you guys. Lauren, yes, that's correct. It begins opening one? A little Dementia test for you guys Lauren, yes, that's correct Nailed it And thanks to HeyRoto for stopping by

We'll be back, of course, next week Bye everybody Later Let's swipe right on Tinder Only for The Huns Try to Bang the daughters Tinder, only for the huns. Try to bang the daughters.

With consent. And just having fun. Only talk through phones and on the net. I wish I knew what to do. Let's email it to with our you Make sure you're not the problem It comes from within Jake and Amir are herein' They will help you win You're a textless, dull, pathetic bitch And you haven't got a clue

Just email into M If I were you That's a good solve office class, baby. That was a Hidgum original.