Segments - 455: Rubik's Cube

Episode Date: October 5, 2020

In this episode we discuss birds, hoops, and Tik-Tok in a lightning round fashion.Advertise on If I Were You via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. Hey, I'm Jake Johnson, host of the podcast, We're Here to Help. But this episode right now that you are listening to is sponsored by Brooklinen. Brooklinen provides luxury bed sheets, pillows, comforters, and blankets delivered straight to your door. How do I know this? Because Brooklinen delivered me a quilt, sheets, pillowcases, and I love them. Plus, Brooklinen has been tested and awarded by experts, including Good Housekeeping, GQ, Wirecutter, and the hosts of We're Here to Help. So listeners can save a ton by purchasing a hardcore bundle, which includes a core sheet set, which is the

thing I got, extra pillowcases, and a duvet cover. You can also mix and match. They do this stripe thing that's cool, but that's a dealer's choice. So are you ready to build your dream fall bed? Visit in-store or online at brooklinen.com. That's brooklinen.com. B-R-O-O-K-L-I-N-E-N.com. Get 15% off your first Brooklin slash live. Hope to see you there. Nice. Try one more where it's clear that I'm like the star. There's a reason I didn't have you say anything. Yeah. Because you're nervous. You're skittish.

You're stuttering right now. I'm a little frightened. So I don't want you in this ad at all. I don't want to be steamrolled, but I want the limelight. So no, I won't be recording one. In fact, for you asking that, I'm going to keep this part in. Don't. This part is now the ad.

Edit this part out, but let's do one clean ad. I'm going to keep this part in. Don't. This part is now. Edit this part out. But let's do one clean ad. No. You will edit this part out. You will absolutely edit this part out. Tell you what. I'm going to say my fucking social security number. So you have to edit it out.

Okay. Let's hear it. 0-9-1-3-6-6-2. Now you have to edit it out. Keeping it in. But we'll see you guys there. No, no, no there no no no no this is a podcast hosted by a human named jake and a chum i've named a beer if you find you're so full again Or you can't stand your stupid friends

Maybe these two Jews are more tall and men Tell you what to do If I were you Wow, that put me at ease. It was calming and nice to hear. Yeah. I'm like blissed out zen capital right now man yeah real well you did take that edible an hour ago and then i saw you sipping on scissor so it looked like you were just sort of chilled out zenned out before that song started playing i had a cognac yeah yeah it's 4 3030 on the east coast. It's really light out.

You're sipping a port. Yeah, syrupy digestif. Don't do that so early. It's still... A brandy. The decanter has made its way into the living room. That's right.

Don't act like it's 1 a.m after a long fun dinner and you're just sort of wiped and happy and ready for sleep it's like friday afternoon i'll have an espresso head to bed for eight hours wake up at two in the morning you're on barcelona time is the problem that's a siesta baby uh that was written by edison low great name who's a full-time touring musician in la makes sense but now it's just a mostly unemployed asshole thanks to covid but he has stuff on instagram i am edison low l just lo for low edison i am edison low cool nice. I liked it. It was great. Yeah.

I wish I knew more about music, because I can say like, oh, that sounded just like, I know it sounded just like something, but I don't know what. It's kind of sound like Sufjan Stevens and Death Cab for Cutie. I don't know anything about music either, but I know like three indie pop acoustic bands. Yeah. And that sounded like all of them melted together that's right and it was and that's all of the bands that i know trump corona trump corona yeah good stuff we're recording this on fr. If he's dead on Monday, would you release that?

Would you release you saying that? If he actually, if he did pass away, honestly, thoughts and prayers. I don't wish poor on anybody. If he releases that, if he dies, I will start an OnlyFans. I really will start an OnlyFans. For that song? I want that moment of elation just sort of captured on video. Yeah. I want to like literally naked. I'll do the fucking nude whatever the fuck.

And the da-na-na-na. That's you swinging your flaccid penis around in a circle. Yeah. I thought you were going to say, we're recording this on Wednesday, so we're just fingers crossed. Who knows? He hasn't been tested yet, but we really hope. We should do something like that someday. I'm surprised we haven't done it before.

Yeah, recording this on Friday, found out last night. Like I said on Twitter, couldn't have happened to a more deserving person. He sort of makes fun of people for wearing masks, brags, downplays the coronavirus. Is somewhat directly responsible for people getting it he should have had it by now honestly he just sort of walks around hugging strangers for a living he went to a fundraiser after knowing that he was around someone who was sick endangering other people's lives he makes fun of other people who are sick either disabled or like when hillary was feeling faint so like you should have no qualms sort of

wishing poor on this man i would agree um i would say that it's nice that it happened now i feel like the timing's good you know like middle of the election there's like a lot of stuff um the stakes are high for him this is like the worst time for him to get the virus yeah you want to like maybe like maybe get like a couple days before the election would be worse is this almost like the exact same timing as like uh the access hollywood tape also though yeah grab him by the pussy was that like in october yeah what's worse for him is like a tape that comes out bragging about sexual assault or like him getting coronavirus probably the sexual assault was worse and he still won, so. It's also funny timing though

because like the big story a few days ago, like on Tuesday, was that he paid $750 in taxes. Yeah. And now he's probably just gonna get away with that one. Like that's not gonna come up again. Which is why the conspiracy theorists are out in full blast.

Like, don't you understand he's doing this? He's just saying that he's sick. Oh, another distraction. Yeah, he's distracting us from the fact that he didn't pay taxes a distraction from the tax yeah i don't think he really knows and like when he's doing a distraction he's just he's chaos and we get distracted but that's not like him being like i'm smart i'll distract them with this it's just like he just happens to do a lot of bad things and so they all they all kind of blend together it's a train wreck and it's just our job to be like oh look now that's burning oh

look that's on fire so we can't really keep track of the entire the entire like 20 car train but there's something horrifying in every single car yeah and yeah like you said the election's a month away so it's like all right for the next two to three weeks he can't be at a rally he cannot like drum up support he can't campaign yeah it's awesome basically if he still wins then it's like that was it that's it like we gave it the best shot he had the corona thing he had the protest thing the dead soldier thing the taxes and then he got sick and he still won so like that was it's like if the lakers can't beat the heat it's like if we didn't if we didn't beat them with their injured players then yeah we

don't deserve to win the championship and i think melania trump there's like a tape that leaked yesterday of melania trump saying like the kids in the cages big fucking deal yeah which is awesome like and she's like who likes christmas decorations. I noticed that whenever a tape leaks of Trump or Melania saying something anti-religious or like anti-Christmas, like that's the only time I agree with them. It's like, yeah, who does give a shit about Christmas? That's actually pretty endearing, Melania. Yeah, like leaking that Trump's called these super priests and pastors who run these megachurches con men. I'm like, yeah yeah i agree with that i only agree with the secret shit you say nothing you are nothing you're saying on the record

yeah uh all right but you know what the show must go on i guess um so here we are answering questions i posted about it on twitter i also posted it about these questions on the uh new jake and amir patreon discord oh shit that's right very cool that's fun on the head gum server the head gum discord um there's a channel now for patreon yeah i love the head gum discord what a fun community yeah i wasn't really super familiar with discord it's basically like a dynamic chat room so like people are in there it's kind of like a hyperactive reddit but it's a ongoing slack or chat room where a bunch of our fans are there uh there's a head gum server which is like the main room that you can hang out in and then uh there's sub channels and one of them is the jake and amir patreon chat uh which

is just for our patreons, I should say. And so I asked if anybody has any questions there as well. I love that you did that. But let's hit up Twitter first. First question we got is not necessarily groundbreaking, but one we've never answered before. Brendan Metz asks asks what's your favorite soda flavor i guess that's true we have never answered that i think it's because i don't have soda i guess i have like lacroix and stuff like seltzer sparkling water yeah i but i never had

like coca-cola or dr pepper or pepsi growing up right i mean i love a coca-cola now i think that like i when i was when i was younger i would have coca-cola for like every single night with dinner sometimes for breakfast i'd have like an eggo waffle with butter and a glass of coca-cola before school before fifth grade and that was fine because you're 10 and who cares yeah it's like okay coke for breakfast yes and i would have coke for breakfast pretty often and when i wasn't having coke it was because i was uh eating cookies and i would have milk with cookies so sometimes before school i had cookies and milk and other times I had an Eggo waffle and a Coca-Cola. It's weird that you now are not into sweets, as you say.

I'm more of a sweetsman than you, but you grew up having all this sugary stuff. Maybe that's what ruined it for me. You got turned off. I still like sweet. I like sweet drinks. I like coffee either way. I like it black, and I like it with sugar. I love Coca-Cola.

And I like an old-fashioned. That's kind of a sweet drink. I like Arnold Palmer's. They're a little bitter, though. So now you're back on soda is what you're saying? Oh, no. I mean, now even though I like that stuff, I just drink it sparingly and I don't really miss it.

You know? Yeah. But anyway, the question is, what's our favorite flavor of soda yeah i think the um every like maybe a couple times uh really not very often maybe like a couple times a year i have uh one of those tall mexican coca-colas oh yeah and i think the super boys yeah i love it so much uh so i think that think that's my answer. Do you remember the last time you had a tall glass bottle of Mexican Coke?

I do. It was in February when I was in Mexico. Oh. I was in Sayulita. And I think it was like February 18th. Whoa. We're coming up on the eight-month anniversary of that. You should do something to celebrate.

Maybe you should have like an unflavored LaCroix in its honor or something. Yeah, maybe I could get a Mexican Coke because it's been eight months. You can have a champagne, which is kind of a soda if you ask me. Okay, why don't you just focus on yourself and I won't celebrate the anniversary. I'll have a Mike's Hard Lemonade for brunch. It's not really a big deal. It's also not that close to the eight-month anniversary. It's the second today as we're recording.

Yeah. No, I'm saying it's coming up two weeks away. Yeah. Does ginger ale count? Yeah. Ginger is a flavor. I like a gingered ale. I used to have it on airplanes.

Now those don't exist anymore, so I haven't had them in a minute. But yeah, I like ginger ale ale i think it's my favorite when's the last time you went on a when was the last time you had a ginger dale actually recently i had it at um a friend's house we were socially distanced watching the laker game at jesse's house and he's like i have ginger ale too if you want i'm like yes i do want ginger ale i probably haven't had a ginger ale this year yeah it was still as good as i remember I asked for it in a little plastic small cup too, just so I can get the full. Yeah.

A tiny little red stirrer thing. Yeah. And like two very thick ice cubes that are hard to bite through. Right. The circular ice cube and a really like a rough square napkin. Yeah. Like doesn't really seem like it would absorb anything. It's like almost dry.

It's really dry. Yeah. And I put it on like a piece of a table in front of me that was like slanted. So it like spills on my lap and I'm like, oh shit, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

And I go to call, I went to call the flight attendant, but it's like the oxygen mask, you know, and it falls and I'm like, holy shit, we're going down. That happens every time you're on an airplane.

Um, next question. Yeah. 2021, the upcoming year. Thoughts? Huh. Have you thought much about next year?

So much has been given to 2020. Yeah. I don't know. I haven't really thought that much about next year. I think I think about next month a lot. I think about the election. Yeah, that will change. That will decide what the next year will be.

Yeah. I guess I think about the next four years. That's what I'm thinking about. I think, yeah, no, I don't really think about the next year. I haven't thought about it at all. I feel like to me, next year will just be still more of this, but we'll be more used to it. So I remember when April and May were happening, and it's like, how long are we going to be locked down?

How long are we going to be quarantined? And now people are just like, they don't even ask that question anymore because this is what life is. I don't think about when I'm going to go back to an indoor restaurant or a movie or a sporting event. I just assume it's not going to happen ever again. So I don't think that it's happening next year that's true i guess i i missed i really miss traveling that's that's the thing that i miss the most yeah any updates on that can we go anywhere i don't know i did just

um submit my name for a directing job in Colorado, a commercial job. Whoa. And you would just dress safely and fly away? I don't know. I think I'd have to figure out, I'd have to figure it out if I got it, but like, yeah, I think I would, I think I might be down to travel and be super safe. Yeah. Or you can drive there. Yeah drive there yeah oh yeah good that'd be cool drive to colorado rocky mountain high when would that happen um november oh wow all right keep us posted the podcast listeners too of course uh jake classon asks what is 18 times 7? Do you want to take that one?

I can fill in the gap if you need help. 18 times 7, yeah. All right. So what I would do, the way my brain would work, is 11 times 7 is 77. That's right. Because that's one of the little tricks. And that's the highest you can get with getting it right away. You can go up to 11.

But it's still seven shy of that. Yeah. Yeah. Great. So then seven times seven, you obviously know that one is, I think it's 49. Right.

Yeah, it is. Okay. Yes. So you would do 49 plus 77, uh, nine plus seven. That is six. That is,

uh, 86. Um, you've made it harder. It took you two minutes just to get to a harder question. A hundred and twenty-nine. A hundred and twenty-six. You abandoned everything. No, it's, oh, oh fuck what is it you were you were right about breaking it down

into two like chunks and then adding them up or subtract what i should have done is 70 times or seven times 10 so 70 and then eight times seven and i think that and that's 56 so 70 plus 56 that is 126 that's correct correct. That's the way. Yeah. Nailed it. You got there. Okay. Yeah.

I think this came from a tweet that I said that somebody should just ask Trump that at a press conference once and see what he does. Like kind of fluster him with something easy. Like how would he answer that? He couldn't know the answer, right? Right. No, every time he doesn't know something or something's going to be bad, he goes on. counterpunch so it's like i know math you don't know math what's and then he starts asking that and rattling it off and steamrolling you know that's good it's like when biden said

the word smart of the debate and sort of triggered something within him to say like smart did you just say the word smart to me don't say the word smart to me you went to a bad college you know you got you did the worst grades you were awful don't ever call yourself smart so like maybe that's what he would say if somebody was like what's 18 times 7 yeah yeah something like that i would do set i would do 7 times 20 minus two of those sevens so like similarly try to break it up into something you can do oh interesting yeah very interesting i go to like the nearest 10 yeah that's smart okay like what's seven times 20 that's the problem that's what people don't know i would guess 140 but like there's no possible way to find out yeah that's tough um all right here's a question from

our discord shout out to the head gum discord what's the url for that if people want to go there i think it's head gum.com slash discord it sounds like that would be good yeah have that this is a head gum server yes that's correct and then um noise or you can google it i'm sure you can find it and then there's a patreon channel for patrons you just gotta link your accounts and uh you'll have access to that um do you think the nfl gets shut down says candy cornifer yam worthy whoa a lot of our teams testing positive yeah one of the teams the titans had like five positive tests and uh they're pushing the shutdown there okay this week um i don't know i don't think they i don't think they do shut down because i feel like they're too conservative and proud like the nba did the

right thing i can't imagine the nfl doing the right thing yeah the nfl is doing like what baseball did which is like listen we'll test a lot and if somebody's sick they just won't play next man up whatever we'll push the game and if they can't play then we'll just keep fucking forging along. We'll keep making hundreds of millions of dollars. And if people get sick, that's unfortunate, but fine in the sake of Tennessee Titan football. Yeah.

Blake Bortles can't play, but I guess that's fine. Isn't it? Where like in basketball, if LeBron got sick, everyone would be like, ah, we have to cancel the NBA. This whole thing is a sham without him there's no player like that in baseball or football um yassiel puig that's right and he's on what team again do you know um no he's on the dodgers right he did used to be on the dodgers that's right yeah what about darvish you you do do do this baseball is so dumb i mean i

i i love baseball okay i like i really i actually do but like it's so not it's just so not cool that like anytime they try to like make baseball seem cool like on the home page of espn i'm like oh this isn't yeah like the reason i like baseball is because it's not cool like mike trout can walk in here and you'd be like who are you and he'd be like i'm the highest paid maybe best baseball player ever he wouldn't look familiar to you at all exactly uh all right let's take a break and answer a lot of these questions on the other side of this pause oh Oh, yeah. Quick note to let y'all know that we're conducting an audience survey

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G-U-M dot F-M slash S-E-G-M-E-N-T-S. Cool. Sorry, I have to spell it out for some people. Yeah, you do. Thank you to Squarespace for sponsoring this episode of our show. Hell yeah. Jake, you've been building on Squarespace for decades at this point. Exactly. Eons, it feels like. Yes. So you know how easy it is to use their simple, intuitive, drag and drop design technology? Yes, yes, yes. Easy to create, easy to sell, easy to promote. Squarespace is my all-in-one, first stop, one-stop shop. Yeah. It's kind of funny that they have also award-winning customer support because it's

so intuitive that even Jake was able to figure it out. But if you have any questions, they can figure it out for you as well. Exactly. And I did need a lot of help. I needed a lot of help. It's easy for everybody, but I still like to have my hand held. They even have AI at this point. You can update written content, product description, or email with Squarespace AI. You can even buy a domain name through Squarespace. Exactly. Like, you know that movie Freaky Friday? Yeah. How'd you like to own FreakyFriday.com? That'd be great. Is that available? It's not available. Yeah. But how'd you like to own Freaky Tuesday? Interesting. Freaky Tuesday. So that's when you run into each

other and some parts of your personality change, but ultimately it's not a full body swap. Interesting. Freaky Tuesday. So that's when you run into each other and some parts of your personality change, but ultimately it's not a full body swap. Right. Mostly you're just concussed. Yeah. Which is new. It's kind of like having a new personality. Yeah. It's funny. I consider myself a vision lifter, which is why I recommend somebody buying visionlifters.com. Oh, vision lifters?

Yeah. Vision lifters with a a z and not where you think and it's not biz with a z so if you're looking to buy a domain name for yourself or for a loved one build a store an online portfolio the greatest way to do that is to head to squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch just use that coupon code segments to save 10 off your And we're back. Jake, do you have any no no i don't i got one that i took from j Cohen, recently posted about this to her Instagram story. Remember these? Yeah, the Rubik's, the Rubik's Cubics. That's right.

We got into a Rubik's Cube phase and I saw Jenna playing with one on her story. I'm like, oh, that seems fun because it's like a non-digital way to pass the time. So I bought this new cube, which is much better than the old um like stiff cubes i mean this guy's really it's called the speed cube and it's very affordable uh you can get them anywhere and it's i sort of retaught myself how to complete it and it's a good way

to like disconnect and still stay mentally engaged in something which is why she got it. But I'm glad to have this back in my life. Oh yeah, the single spin. I remember you and I were competing at one point to see who could solve it faster. That's right. I think I was the first one to break a two minute barrier. That was- And then you got it down to like one minute and 18 seconds.

Yeah, I'm not even close to that right now. Yeah, right now I'm on like the four to five minute mark sort of trying to remember all the algorithms that i've forgotten over the course of that last however long but i can't remember if i told this story on a podcast or not but i once we were i was like at a bar with some friends and this girl that i was interested in and in this bar like on the tables they had a bunch of ruby it was like some party and the party favor was rubik's cubes. And it was like maybe a year after you and I had learned how to solve it.

So I didn't, and I was like oh okay, I can impress this girl if I solve the rubik's cube. It's finally here. And we're all like, everybody's like messing with it. They hand it to me, I'm like I can do this in fucking three minutes. And I was kind of drunk though and i just

i couldn't solve it but i felt like i was close and then i just like sat on the couch for like 30 minutes by myself trying to solve it like that's it's it was completely not impressive at all and also i never solved it it's to the point where it's like yeah i did i got it like yeah i guess i saw you on youtube for like part of it yeah well i forgot like how to fucking arrange the corners on the second layer but i did the rest of it yeah there is like that's what it is there is like there's the hack it's just knowing exactly which way is to turn it right yeah the double l l right l up right exactly it's memorizing like our geometry more than like knowing math. So it seems like anybody can do it if they just spent like a few hours for a week figuring it out.

Definitely. I mean, I did it. I know nothing. There we go. Yeah, we struggled with 18 times 7 and we were able to do it in under two minutes. So how hard can it be? So get yourself Erno Rubik's Magic Cube. I remember that's what the youtube tutorial called it

jesus christ just landed on my cat you had a cat congrats oh yeah that's my unsolicited for uh next week next week yeah i get a cat uh all right favorite bird asks stanley do you have a favorite bird yeah i got a couple, I think. Really? Yeah, I think I always... You know, I think I have five. Let's talk about the robin. The robin, it's nice to see a robin. It means spring's coming.

So you're through the winter. I think that's a positive sign to see a robin. Blue jays, I think, are super cool. I love the way a blue jay looks. Yeah, I was going to say blue jay because it's like instantly identifiable it's like wow that is a bright blue bird got an awesome mohawk yeah blue jay is pretty definitely high up there then you got hawk which have really distinct flight patterns and i think they're beautiful creatures i um i have like a relationship with hawks because me and my sister both like hawks and every time we see a hawk we it reminds us of the other one so that's kind of nice that's cool um bald eagle i think a

bald eagle is pretty dang cool just for obvious reasons because it's fucking endangered and like yeah majestic huge um and let's not forget the mighty the mighty owl let's not forget the mighty mighty boston knock on birds nice a woodpecker that's another good one oh yeah i'll throw in peacock if that counts is a peacock a type of bird um flightless peacocks fly don't they fly a little bit they just they don't they like can flap they're like kind of like chickens they don't like fly and like migrate but they yeah they can like hover haul ass they can hop yeah they can hop off the ground yeah all right so peacock and blue jay's my answer you like the color flamingo is pretty cool yeah there's a good pretty good it's nice to see a flamingo every once in a while you're like in las vegas you're like look at that

it's a big old pink flamingo yeah that's nice ain't nothing wrong with a toucan right um i was gonna ain't nothing wrong with a toucan that's pretty cool yeah i was gonna sort of move on i feel like we got through a lot of birds parrots and i like parakeets i like ferrets not really a bird more of a mammal and i'm into lizards as of late so that's been fun to have tom knight asks can you name any formula one drivers um oh yeah the one that was in the news bubba bubba i think that's nascar wasn't it was he formula one i okay so i guess the question i didn't even know the freaking difference between that okay i just thought it's all racing so jeff gordon's not

yeah that's nascar's jeff gordon formula one is like um those guys are so famous too it's like such a popular sport yeah those are like the really low cars that like zoom zoom super fast around tracks and city streets that's like where yeah that's like where james bond goes and like there's the guys that own the cars that are like drinking champagne and it's like super yeah it's like a real status thing to be into formula one yeah back a car so the one that i could named was michael schumacher remember that guy he's like a German. Yeah. He has Formula One.

And then the new current hot Formula One driver is Lewis Hamilton, who's kind of like young and cool. Lewis Hamilton. He's British. Cool. Yeah. So that's my Formula One. I bet there's a documentary on it that we can watch and learn all about it. Oh, yeah.

I did watch that like a documentary documentary was like tesla versus somebody or something oh that yeah that was ford versus ferrari you were no no you were watching another one a movie it was with matt damon right that wasn't a documentary it wasn't you can tell i'm not saying it was i learned a rhyme that you can tell the difference between a dog wasn't a documentary it wasn't a documentary a documentary has no actors and if a movie. It wasn't a documentary. It wasn't a documentary. A documentary has no actors. And if a movie starts, you'll see a guy who's pretending to be someone named Hal Sparks.

So like Hal Sparks is the name of like a guy, like an E! Entertainment host. And if he's in a movie, then it's probably a doc. It's not helpful at all. I know the difference between a movie and a documentary. I didn't need it.

Because of the rhyme. I don't need a rhyme. It doesn't't barely and it doesn't work it rhymes kind of but it's not helpful how sparks could be an actor no they list people before a documentary some documentaries have like reenactments they have actors in them really i actually didn't know that that's really that's really cool so how does the reenactment work so like they'll like pretend that something just happened again don't forget don't pretend like you're teaching me about movies when you don't know anything right i can yeah that's true that's that's fair actually That's a really good point. Thank you. Another question from the Discord. Okay.

HeadGum.com slash Discord. What are some of your favorite non-HeadGum podcasts to listen to? Damn. I think I only listen to HeadGum podcasts. Good. Good. I was going to say there was a basketball podcast that I listened to, but I don't listen to it either.

All I listen to are head gum podcasts. Oh, you know what? I listen to Men in Blazers, an EPL podcast. I don't listen to it all the time. Yeah, that's good. It should be. God, I wish it were a head gum podcast. They're so funny.

Yeah, and I listen to The Low Post. But again, that's basically a HeadGum podcast. Everything else is a HeadGum podcast. Those are the only two podcasts that we accidentally start listening to because our app starts to play a new episode after we listen to 10 HeadGum podcasts. Yeah, that's right. And not a second before.

Oh, here's a good one. Your Urge to block asks socks or sauce would you rather never wear socks again or never eat sauce again that includes dressing dipping sauce condiments and of course normal spaghetti sauce socks or sauce which one would you rather give up socks yes or never have sauce never have sauce or never eat socks no never wear socks wear them so i would definitely give up eating socks of course that's not the question the question is would you rather have a plain food or a sockless shoe forever? It's really tough. I cannot give up socks, though.

I love, I like, I like a good, comfortable sock. Yeah. I don't like a sweaty shoe. In the summer, I don't love socks, but, you know, you get the ankle cut the no show the nice breathable sock it's the best you can do and it's better than a sweaty sweaty shoe and in the winter you have a nice thick wool sock in the autumn oh man just a friggin uh just a friggin tube sock with some cuffed jeans yeah that fucking dad look i love it i think and as much as I'd miss sauce, it's not, it can be unhealthy. It's kind of like committing to going on a diet forever.

You couldn't have pizza. I'm sorry, but you could no longer have pizza. You're giving up pizza. You're giving up salad. You're going to have to have dry meats, chicken tenders for the rest of your life, fries with salt and nothing else. So choose wisely. Yeah yeah but you could do spices you can do spices you could put you could put cayenne pepper you can put uh some yeast you

could do nutritional yeast i mean you can do um paprika cumin yeah no i know what sauce spices are you know what what is you know what spices are yeah You know what what is? You know what spices are. You know what you said sauce. Gotcha. Nice. Gotcha, dude. Gotcha journalism. I would also choose socks.

I would choose to have socks because I'm sort of a plain kind of guy anyway. You don't like sauce. I like sauce, but in moderation. You like tomato sauce. Yeah You don't like sauce. I like sauce, but in moderation. You like tomato sauce. Yeah, I like tomato sauce, but I like socks in excess. Yeah. You know Christmas stockings?

I'll wear them as socks. You can't even get your shoes to fit over them. Yeah, they won't fit because they're very flat and rigid and like the way they go up yeah you'll go sock shoe and then a christmas stocking over the whole shebang yeah and that sort of keeps my sock and my shoe that's nice um i love that comfortable and affordable and then

i'll i'll stuff us a toy in there too because it still deserves to be stuffed it's a stocking stuffer that's right all right another sports one haunted world writes will this nba championship feel different as a laker fan if they win due to the bubble slash general 2020 fuckery you're a lebron stan i'll ask you the question will it feel different than like the cleveland titled felt because it's been such a weird unorthodox playoff i i remember thinking that when i wasn't watching basketball i still don't watch that much but i watched most of the uh playoff games like between everybody and it like the level of play is really intense like there's still buzzer beaters yeah there's people are still like diving for loose balls it's

yeah like lebron winning this championship is his team beating all of the other teams that's right like i i think that it's a little annoying that he's not going to get to like beat the clippers or beat the rockets or whatever yeah or the bucks yeah but those teams lost i think that people were playing at their peak people were playing hard and for that reason this is going to feel like a real championship yeah i remember when they were talking about bringing basketball back and i'm like is this gonna like am i even gonna be as invested as i was if there was no uh if it was a regular playoffs like like, am I going to be rooting? Are the players even going to celebrate a buzzer beater

if there's no crowd there to like celebrate with them? But like soon, as soon as the playoff started, I was like, oh my God, I'm just as invested as I was. If this is a regular playoff, I'm watching Clipper games, hoping they lose. Like it's a regular playoff. I'm watching buzzer beaters and jumping for joy. If anything, I feel more kinship to this team

because they're saving such a shitty time and summer where we were doing like nothing and we had no sports at all so now like i'm savoring every game and victory so much more so and then like if yeah like many basketball experts have said if there's an asterisk on this title then it's like almost like a badge of honor than like a mark of shame totally i think that like they're dealing with COVID, but also like a social justice uprising and like handling that beautifully also. Yeah.

So I just, I think that the NBA is just doing like everything right. And there's still professionals who know how to put on an amazing show. Like when I'm watching these bubble games, it does not seem to me like, I don't know, a budget worse worse uh athletic event yeah and like the amount of adversity lebron specifically had to deal with has been insane

between like kobe covid they were in china a year ago still part of this season so i don't think that this is like a a false or dummy final wild yeah definitely personally personally lebron's a goat big mike asks how's jake doing so that one's sort of like personal to you more of like a subjective question i i can answer first or you can okay yeah i know yeah go for it yes the eskimos have a specific word for this it's it's smiling over sadness it is It is anutpak, the type of depression you can't just smize through because one coat of primer doesn't fully hide the dark, natural, thick blackness of a year gone wrong. Like, you can keep yourself busy, but sadly and slowly the fog begins to settle and no amount of activity can blow away this heavy cold steam. So, like, a man is only as strong as his weakest thoughts. And frankly, by month, what is it, eight of a self-imposed isolation, we are simply, you are simply soft i mean did i forget anything i feel like that sums it up pretty well i'm enjoying uh bike rides no yeah totally you also like to bike ride

i forgot that yeah you can bike you basically have been liking to bike ride in addition to that yeah just like little diy homepucks but um yeah oh how does jake feel oh i guess we already answered this one how does jake feel at the finals as a laker lebron stan and what's his favorite bird blue jays and lebron's the goat dude yes and i'm looking forward to oblivion what's your favorite bird and what's your favorite baseball team the answer to both is the st louis cardinal there's there are a lot of birds in the baseball huh yeah we got the blue jays there's no robin we got orioles oh yeah the giants yes the san francisco giants because that's um it stands it's short for giant bird yeah like

like an eagle or something but there's also the eagles yeah but that's a it stands it's short for giant bird yeah like like an eagle or something but there's also the eagles yeah but that's a different sport as we said what else there's the blue jays the the cardinals they're robin uh yeah the san diego robins all right one last question let's go back to the discord okay question how has the tiktok fame changed your life let's uh generalize it a little bit about a week or two ago i told you to get on tiktok did you do it and how much are you enjoying or not enjoying it i am on tiktok i think my algorithm is broken i don't like i like want to be able to like Pandora it and like thumbs down stuff. But like, I don't understand.

It's showing me shit that I don't like. And because it's the only thing it shows me, I feel like it thinks that I like it. And I don't know how to make it stop. I think you have to skip videos that you're not feeling and heart videos that you are. So what does it show? I have to like videos. I don't like anything. I just scroll.

But for some reason, it keeps on showing me like 24-year-old millionaires that started their own online businesses. And then also just like super earnest people that have like been through a hardship and like share that over like them stand like looking at a mirror or something weird don't yeah it's really weird but then it also shows me like girls in bikinis which i'm fine with yeah um and then like how to get abs which i'm also cool with yeah you got to get into fitness tiktok you got to get into the singing and dancing the jokes specifically maybe cooking if you're interested in that i'm not that into cooking but what i have been into like just different stretches on tiktok like there's all these like doctors that are like uh or physical

therapists like this is for sciatica this is for neck tightness and i like it but now i'm getting a little too much i'm like i'm not'm not, I'm not that tight. Okay. And I actually resent the accusation, TikTok. Yeah. Cool it. I don't, I don't like TikTok.

I kind of hate it, but I'm there. I follow three people. Oh, wow. Who? You. Great.

Let me see. The, Jesus Christ. Louder. Jesus Christ. Louder. Okay, wait i how do i find it all right yeah following three people um you mason mc homey mason mc honey fit who's of course he's got abs yeah and then dr a for uh dpt which is is the guy that shows me stretches. Got it.

I think I know why your algorithm's fucked up then. Definitely. Yeah, it's really bad. Yeah, you follow one guy with abs, one guy that stretches a lot, and my political memes. That's right. I'm still loving it. I'm still into it. It's been fun for me so far.

Have you wanted to post at all, or that's one step too far i had one idea for a post but i don't want to share it yet but i think i might do it but i'm not entirely sure if i will wow i'd be honored to steal that idea if you want to give it to me i'll show i'll i'll film it and send it to you and you can tell me if i should post it that's good all right cool yeah the answer is yes regardless but i look forward to seeing it anyway and what's your name on tiktok in case somebody wants to follow you right now it's jake herwitz okay that's cool and mine is okay bloomer oh we both have okay in it oh wow that's funny i definitely didn't i must have just like been in my second just when i did it must have i did it you're not trying to like okay you did okay with just the letters?

Oh, yeah. So it's totally different. Yeah. I don't know why I was accusing you of stealing it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Okay. Okay.

Change your name, okay. It's not okay. I don't post. I don't follow anyone. I follow three people. No one follows me. No one follows me. I don't post. I don't clean. Let me tell three people no one follows me no one follows me i don't post i

don't clean let me tell you i got this ring that's from wop yeah yeah uh all right that's it maybe we'll do a bonus thursday episode because we got a lot more questions to go through so fun we'll start chipping away at more uh remember the remember the opening theme song, that lovely one by Edison low. Yes. Edison low. This closing song. Also great. Um,

written by Ethan, which is a boss, a Nova blink, one 82 parody theme song. Okay. Send that shit. Send that shit. Yeah.

And he would like to plug his Spotify Instagram, which is Ethan sermon and my band, the that shit. Send that shit. Yeah, and he would like to plug his Spotify Instagram, which is Ethan Sermon and my band, The Neighborhood Watch. They're from Canada, so you know neighborhood is without you. Right, neighborhood. Sweet. So check out Ethan Sermon and The Neighborhood Watch on Instagram and or Spotify. And thanks for sending those emails.

For more theme song submissions or questions, if you guys have any, the email address for both is ifiweryoushowatgmail.com. Shout out one more time to the Patreon Discord channel in the HeadGum server. That's headgum.com slash Discord. And we're still making videos on that Patreon. So if you want that sweet, sweet video content

or access to the Patreon Discord, it's all at patreon.com slash JA. Join us. We're having fun in there. Indeed. And shout out to Ethan one more time for his closing theme song starting now. Take an Amir Barsanova

if I were you Sitting by the park car with two crutches Take an Amir Barsanova if I were you, sitting by the pop car with two crutches, Jack and Amir, boss and over. If I were you, baby, don't you wanna wanna advice too? And then I think to myself, what would they do? They don't like classy jazz, only blink 182. One, two, three, four!

Jack and Amir, make me cry tears. blink 182 1, 2, 3, 4 Jake and Amir make me cry tears Jake and Amir make me cry tears and sadness and sadness and Trevor is sad too

that was a Hiddem original