Segments - 466: Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel

Episode Date: December 14, 2020

In this special Hanukkah episode of our show, we are joined by an old friend to discuss wine, the holidays, and of course: Stickers.Advertise on If I Were You via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. Hey, I'm Jake Johnson, host of the podcast, We're Here to Help. But this episode right now that you are listening to is sponsored by Brooklinen. Brooklinen provides luxury bed sheets, pillows, comforters, and blankets delivered straight to your door. How do I know this? Because Brooklinen delivered me a quilt, sheets, pillowcases, and I love them. Plus, Brooklinen has been tested and awarded by experts, including Good Housekeeping, GQ, Wirecutter, and the hosts of We're Here to Help. So listeners can save a ton by purchasing a hardcore bundle, which includes a core sheet set, which is the thing I got, extra pillowcases, and a duvet cover. You can also mix and match. They do this stripe thing

that's cool, but that's a dealer's choice. So are you ready to build your dream fall bed? Visit in-store or online at brooklinen.com. That's brooklinen.com. B-R-O-O-K-L-I-N-E-N.com. Get 15% off your first Brooklinen order and save extra when you bundle. Hello, if you're listening to this podcast before September 27th, 2024, we're doing a live show in Philadelphia. You can still buy tickets at headgum.com slash live. Hope to see you there. Nice. Try one more where it's clear that I'm like the star. There's a reason I didn't have you say anything. Yeah. Because you're nervous. You're skittish. You're stuttering right now. I'm a little frightened. So I don't want you in this ad at all. I don't want to be steamrolled, but I want the live light. So no, I won't be recording

one. In fact, for you asking that, I'm going to keep this part in. Don't. This part is now. Edit this part out, but let's do one clean ad. No. You will edit this part out. You will absolutely edit this part out. Tell you what, I'm going to say my fucking social security number, so you have to edit it out, okay? Let's hear it.

091-3662. Now you have to edit it out. Keeping it in, but we'll see you guys there. No, no, no, no, no. too. Now you have to edit it out. Now we'll go and seize the cheese If I were, if I were, if I were you Jake and Amir are two good Jews Answering questions and winning turkeys They'll make fun of you

And if I show what I show On the HeadGum Network It's the right time, it's the right time To email them all your problems If I were, if I were, if I were you Show at gmail.com Send your questions and queries and qualms Over to Jake and Amir Okay. Yeah.

Now that was joyous. That was joyful, right? Wasn't it? Why do you say now like Hanukkah songs aren't? Like, see, you already come in here with that like attitude of like Christmasmas is greater than or equal to hanukkah which is going on right now so like don't say now see now that was joyful yeah no hanukkah's fine i like hanukkah i like it okay but the war on christmas rages on it is not over as some people say and i will not have it i have to stand at the front lines of Christmas. Christmas music rules. And I love, love that shit.

This is a priceless tune. That was by Alyssa, pronounced Alyssa. And my boyfriend Grant wrote this wonderful Christmassy intro song. We hope you like it. Please play it before or during Christmas, or it won't make any sense. I think it makes sense year round but i think that it it's it's peak you know it's peak uh peak enjoyable now so yeah let me play hold on i have a maoz sewer parody for the hanukkah lovers out there there's you know there's no need i feel

like when you compare them that's when hanukkah really seems lesser than let's just let hanukkah be its thing yeah of course it's a midi file yeah it's just sort of a keyboard synth thing why do we even bother like we wouldn't even be thinking christmas verse hanukkah unless you did this all right old trad, tradle, tradle. Actually, Hanukkah is one of the most fun Jewish holidays because there's no temple, there's no synagogue, there's minimal praying, and the food is just anything oily. So it's like donuts and french fries. Yeah.

No, there's nothing wrong with Hanukkah. Hanukkah is super solid. I like Hanukkah a lot. I mean, it doesn't touch Christmas. It doesn't hold a shame as to Christmas, as it were. You mean a Shamash. Forget it. It doesn't hold a Shamash to Christmas.

That's a funny shirt. Thank you. So it's a shirt that only Jews would get, but no Jews would wear. So it's a very small Venn diagram that doesn't overlap. Us half-Jews out there. Us kids that got bar mitzvahed but grew up Protestant-leaning. Can I put you down for a medium ringer in a Chris Honigan? It was an oldish shamash to Christmas tea.

A Gildan Raglan. How's that? A long sleeve. What's that called? Three quarters length baseball. The baseball tea is back, baby. All right. Recording this on the third-ish night of Hanukkah.

Releasing on the fifth-ish night of Hanukkah. Have you had latkes? Have you imbibed in the oily treats? On the first night of Hanukkah, I ate, I think it was eight potato latkes and actually got pretty ill. Yeah, that makes sense. It's the equivalent of four baked potatoes that you ate deep fried. I overdid it. I think it was eight. It might have been nine. It's the equivalent of four baked potatoes that you ate deep fried. I overdid it. I absolutely overdid it.

I think it was eight. It might have been nine. It was an insane amount. How big were they? Each one slathered with sour cream. They were as big as my hand. They were fist size, maybe a little larger. So, like, basically, it was meant to have, like, two or three.

And you had two and three and three. And then I doubled that and had two more. Like, three would have been a little indulgent and i like i didn't eat i hadn't eaten that much that day and i just went fucking i went for these latkes did you eat anything else in addition to the latkes or was like just dinner just potato pancakes and then you called it a night um everyone else ate other stuff i the latkes were kind of like the festive like pre-dinner thing and i ate so many that i couldn't eat dinner then i also

couldn't eat dessert and i had i was lying down on the floor for a little bit got it so the jelly donuts of it all you never got to that never of the Hanukkah. No, there was like this, yeah, this like really amazing like baklava type thing that was around. And I had it last night. I ate it on the second night of Hanukkah. That's when I found that I could eat again. Yeah. Yeah. But they were good.

The latkes were really good. I love latkes. They're probably my favorite like festive food of anything. Yeah. I don't think there's a better one. Latkes are the goat. What about you? Yeah. Yeah. I had some lat uh yeah i had some latkes i had some soup i had some jelly donuts and then you know this is you got to pace yourself you you did it you went too hard this was night one of

eight it's over i mean i'll have it tonight i i'm obsessed with potatoes i love potatoes i don't really there's a better starch out there. Yeah. Do you prefer latkes to like hash browns? Do you prefer latkes to like French fries? Oh, French fries are probably top tier. Latkes are basically hash browns. So I think that they're similar. I would put latkes above like home fries. Yeah, latkes like have the flour sponginess of it.

It's almost like a, it's literally, like they say, a potato pancake. Yeah. But hash browns, I think, is just potato. Oh, interesting. I see. Yeah. I see. Yeah, I love a latke.

You ever put, like, just an egg on a latke in the morning? Yeah, that's what I had this morning. That's good shit. Yeah. Good shit. Did you get yourself a Hanukkah present did you or avital exchange gifts uh no we didn't exchange gifts but you know what there's still six days left so there's still time that's nice i was thinking of getting you you know how you said

your car was in the shop uh yeah it's out of the shop now it's fine so don't i was thinking of getting you and this might have been overkill it would have but if it's a car related thing a car expense it's big and i don't want you to it's it's an audi suv see i got it as part of a lexus december to remember sales event why how did you get an audi yeah how did you get an audi at a Lexus event? Thank you for asking. I ended up buying two Lexuses at the Lexus December to Remember sales event. And then I flipped them. You traded one?

You know how they lose half their value. Is it called flipping them if it's a loss? So I turned two Lexuses into one Audi. And I was able to get a pretty big ribbon so if you look outside i think you'll enjoy see the problem with that is that it's like i don't even think that's a selfless gift because now it feels like i'm in your debt right you get me something that's like insanely expensive and then i owe you and now how do you one next question yeah exactly how do you make sure that the Audi pales in comparison to the gift you'll be giving me?

Well, to start, I'm going to need three Lexuses. Because one of them shit the bed. You know how you said that the little rat or something, a squirrel ate through the soy wire? Yeah, the soy wire. Yeah. So I ended up getting a car made out of entirely that soy car yes i got a mobile i got a this is a december to forget for you i think sales event yeah yo soy car so i ended up getting a a pepperoni for a lexus and two lexuses that i

turn into an audi that i ship to you it's all rat food at the end and uh yeah the car shipping company hasn't returned any of my calls it was just so you lost my car you got me a car you got rid of three cars got me one car got a big ribbon lost it i guess in transit yeah and now you expect me to give you three to four cars right on the third night of hanukkah you gave to me four audis three lexuses two soy cars and a mazda shaped like a tree the mazda is basically like skinny at the top and fat towards the bottom. I'm not getting you any. A Mazda shaped like a tree?

I mean, Jesus. You'd have like, what, seven cars more? Eight, nine cars? Yeah, something like that. All right. This is If I Were You, an advice podcast. After all, the only one on the web hosted by us. I'm Amir.

I'm Jake. And we're busy in the holiday season. So unfortunately, we weren't able to find any questions this episode. Sadly, womp, womp. 400 some odd episodes in. And yeah, I guess we don't, 400 some odd episodes in. No questions. Yeah, I guess we don't really have any questions to answer. I mean, in theory, we could like play a game or something.

Oh! Oh my God. That's actually, it's Game Santa Claus. So it's Game Boy, but he's sort of wearing a Santa hat. Oh, oh, oh! Nice! Yes! Did someone say game? Yeah, in passing.

You know what? Never mind, Game Boy. I already found a few good ones. No, okay. Why don't you stick around? The name of the game is we have tens of thousands of questions in our Gmail account. We're hoping to have a search query that yields just one result one question a question with a word so esoteric it only exists

once zero is a loss and two is a loss we need a hole in one so jake do you want to search first for an email what do we got cryogenic cryogenic cryogenic it's pretty good cryogenic come on nothing did you spell it right c-r-y-o-g-e-n-i-c let's try's try cryogenically. Oh, like frozen? Yeah, that's my theory. Also not in there. There's just nobody's worried about freezing after they die, I guess. Okay, fair. What about cryotherapy?

Nice. All right, let's try that. If we have any questions about that. Pretty close. Pretty close. Pretty close. It's three emails. One of them is just a business referral that we don't really need. So two emails.

One about your foot and one about a car. A car almost ripped my leg off, but I'm still laughing. Let's read that one. Yeah, that's good. But it's doing great. Thanks for asking, everybody. This is an email from September of 2016. I must start by apologizing for having lived in a cave up until three weeks ago

and being disgustingly seize-the-cheese ignorant. But thanks to Amir's Snapchatchat all is right in the world okay it's actually pretty cool as a newer it's a cool as a newer fan to see how much ass you've kicked in a few short years so major toda i'll cut to the point and not make this email epic i've recently moved to la and i'm venturing into comedy previously i've worked as an artist and a professional runner for nike i thought i'd always be a runner but that ended when i got hit by a car running and almost lost my leg the doctor said i would never walk normally again but i proved them wrong obviously not fast enough to

make it a career and the only reason i bore you with this backstory is to tell you i'm a hard worker self-motivated and uh I made the nurses laugh, perhaps, with my warped sense of sarcasm that could be used over there. I'm not sure if you had any positions open for an internship, but I'm more than happy to meet for coffee. Wow.

So the question is, can I work at HeadGum? This is from when? Four years ago. Well, damn. Yeah. add head gum this is from when four years ago well damn yeah good on us for uh for letting this one slip through the cracks we have to you often hear about like the whole doctor said i'd never walk again and they were wrong like what do i feel like doctors should stop guessing that unless they do it as like a means of like fucking inspiring the patient you know interesting yeah could it be like a like i'll show you attitude that they're trying to instill i i would imagine it's more about tempering expectations so you're like yeah you don't

i i guess i just imagine that doctors are like constantly afraid of being sued so if if they're like you're not gonna walk again and then you can walk, you're not going to be like, you were wrong, doctor, and I'm going to sue you. But if you're like, I think you have a chance. I think you're going to be able to walk and then you can't. And then you're like, well, why'd you get my hopes up? Why'd you say I could walk and then I couldn't? Now you're sued. You know, like what's the most likely path to a suit?

That's what a doctor is thinking. They're trying to avoid that. Yeah, it's kind of like a covid test like false uh positives are fine because it's like you scared me but at least i'm relieved now but false negatives are bad you're like all right i'm relieved i don't have covid but then boom i'm sick i'm gonna go so they err yeah they err on the other side i hear false negatives are more likely than false positives because they don't want to give people the wrong impression in the positive way. Yeah, that's smart.

But you never hear about a doctor. Maybe because we don't hear about the ones that nailed it. Like, you'll never walk again. I'm sorry. That's probably true. And I was right.

Doctors said I would never walk again and they fucking nailed it. So big ups to you guys. You called it. How'd you know? You're a good doctor. Yeah.

So maybe we only hear about the ones that were wrong because that's like the better story anyway should we uh email this girl and ask her if she still needs a job or hey yeah we might as well you could get coffee with her at least yeah well that might actually kill her again yeah a virtual zoom a zoom tea yeah that's nice we can't get coffee but i'm down to get a Zoom tea with you. Hello? Where did you go? All right, here's my search query.

All right. And it's going to be a good one, I assure you. It's going to be a word that's just in that sweet spot. Okay. Okay. Can't think of one, can you? Cincinnati. There's going to be a lotinnati there's gonna be a lot there's gonna be a lot because i bet people from ohio signing their emails come to cincinnati that's that's what's up okay all right there yeah you're right there's there's not a lot well how much would you

say is a lot it sounded like you were about to say 30 yeah that's pretty close 24 oh all right yeah that's i mean that's kind of a lot yeah it's 24 24 over six years from cincinnati that makes sense okay let's uh read this one called coffee shop girl might date me from 2019 more recent all right i met this girl two years ago in class at the University of Cincinnati. Nice. We got along pretty well, and I always had a crush on her, but she had a boyfriend most of the time. Now she is single and works at a coffee shop I go to occasionally.

We always chat a bit and catch up when I go in, and today I went in for a coffee and we talked a bit more. And when I started leaving, she she said text me soon so we could hang out but that but she said it not flirty at all like she didn't give me a flirty smile or sound excited about it when she said it now i'm extremely confused because she is the one who asked me to hang out but she looked not too thrilled about it do girls ever ask you to hang out if they don't mean it? Is it possible that she was shy and didn't want to come off too strong,

so she pretended like it was a big deal? I think I'll ask her out, but please tell me what's in her head. P.S. I drove from Cincinnati to see your Chicago show. Oh, nice. I wonder if it was the guy in the lobster outfit. Yeah. Yeah, he's the one who showed up at a fucking coffee shop in a lobster outfit no this guy's ostensibly dressed completely normal is it possible that the girl should he read too much into the way she asked for his number i feel like once you ask for the number that's a good sign

regardless he's i mean definitely absolutely 100 overthinking this i think you think you're in great shape, but I wouldn't talk yourself out of it based on what her tone or the way her face looked when she asked you to hang out. Yeah. Some people are just nervous to ask. They try to act cool or it's like a defense mechanism. When you get nervous, you get serious or something like that. So it seems like he's on the right path. But if somebody asks you for your number and says text me to hang out you should definitely text to hang out yeah yeah just take their take them at their word not at their face do you know what i mean not at their bird um that rhymes but it made less sense mine also didn't make sense so that's but it didn't rhyme either uh all right i'm gonna email this person and say what's the follow-up what happened maybe Mine also didn't make sense. But it didn't rhyme either.

All right, I'm going to email this person and say, what's the follow-up? What happened? Maybe he'll get back to us in this episode, and we can get some resolution. And you should email that other girl and offer her a job. What if he says, I texted her, and she said, you actually believed me? I thought I said it in a pretty stern, serious way

that gave off the vibe of don't do this what the hell is your problem um all right let's take a break come back we'll see if we can win the game oh thank you thank you to draft kings for sponsoring this episode of our show hey yo draft kings the nfl is back's correct. And the best part of football season is checking out the post-game stats. I want to know which wideout scored more than two tutties, which QB threw for less than 350 yards. And if you think you can pick who will do what before the kickoff, then you should play pick six from DraftKings, which is an official daily fantasy partner of the NFL. Wow. So if you like watching football, and it sounds like you do.

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easy to promote. Squarespace is my all in one first stop, one stop shop. Yeah. It's kind of funny that they have also award winning customer support because it's so intuitive that even Jake was able to figure it out. But if you have any questions, they can figure it out for you as well. Exactly. And I did need a lot of help. I needed a lot of help. It's easy for everybody, but I still like to have my hand held. They even have AI at this point. You can update written content,

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and then use the coupon code SEGMENTS when you're ready to launch that free trial. Enjoy you squarespace and we're back jake or the game boy i guess do you guys have any oh it's a let's do this mom i'm coming. Gross. No! But I do, but Jake does. Oh, okay. Game Boy said no. I've been getting into wine recently.

Really? A wine man? Yeah. I guess it's a cool hobby to have, but kind of dangerous because it can get expensive and pricey. But what's your foyer into wine well all right it started with um every it's a well-known fact about me that i don't know how to burp so that's right and i really love beer but it was starting to get to the point where when i

have a beer i'd basically be uncomfortable for like an hour afterwards and i felt like it was just diminishing returns on that front. Like, even though I love beer, it was just not, it wasn't always worth it. So now I'm having beer maybe once a week. And instead I'm enjoying a glass of red at the end of the day. Really?

At the end of the day, a glass of red. So this is post dinner or with dinner? I guess it's at the end of my workday, pre-dinner into dinner. Like when dinner's almost ready, we'll open a bottle of wine, pour a glass. As we plate everything, sit down, I finish my glass, then I have my meal. Yeah, that's pretty cool. That's pretty cool to have. Like, do you want a glass of wine?

I got this really cool bottle. Oh my God, we visited this vineyard and it was really good. I had to have like do you want a glass of wine i got this really cool bottle oh my god we visited this vineyard and it was really good i had to have the bottle you're gonna love this bottle it's a really good bottle of red that genuinely is what's happening because jill we're living with jill's parents and jill's dad knows a lot about wine and also like pulled out a bottle from like 1999 that they got at a vineyard in Italy. And I was like, you have to try this. And gave me something. It's awesome.

I loved it. And then he also gave me a bottle that they picked up at the store the other day. And I'm like, this is great, too. So I need to figure out how to... I don't have a palate. I was nervous doing a taste test because I'm like, I want to like the one from 2000 in the vineyard. But I could easily just like the one from down the street so right it's a little and i wonder if there actually is a difference between the two like is it all marketing thing i don't know

because like when when it comes to beer i do know what i like in beer and like i could i could look at a beer and be like i will like that or i won't like that you know like yeah I taste a beer I can kind of taste what I like and don't like about it same thing with whiskey so I imagine it'll happen eventually with wine but right now all of the red wines as long as they're like a couple of the things that I like taste really good to me I haven't like you know I couldn't differentiate really what about white I don't like the white wines. They don't do it for me. I like a rosé. I like a skin contact wine.

White's not right. No. Yeah. Well, yeah. No. And do the reds all taste the same to you or do they all taste good to you? But you can tell one is drier,

one is sweeter, one is fruitier, etc. It's kind of like that. They all taste good to me, but then if somebody's like that's a dry wine i'll be like oh yeah yeah it is and if somebody's like that's that's really fruity oh yeah it is fruity i can just taste whatever anyone tells me that the wine is but i know that i like you're very agreeable to the point where people are telling you what

you're drinking that's a white wine oh yeah well you're holding a beer yeah i guess i am you're just repeating whatever i say back at me yeah no way i guess i am you're an asshole yeah i guess i am are you mocking me yeah yeah i am mocking you all right you think you're better than me? Yeah, yeah, I think I do, actually. I guess you don't like, it's not about the bubbles to you. You just don't like the taste of alcohol, really. Yes, I don't like the taste of alcohol. I especially don't like the taste of beer. Beer is like not only bitter, it's carbonated, which two things I don't like, and it's alcoholic.

So it tastes like spoiled, bitter, bad tonic water to me you learn to like whiskey a little bit like you like whiskey don't you yeah i did learn i did grow into whiskey but whiskey can be drank a little sweeter so it's like oh this is nice it's a little sweeter it's a little smokier it's rarely bitter yeah and you can drink it with things that make it even sweeter right that's true so wines you don't think wine's in the card for you? Wine is doable because it kind of, there are wines that are like sweet. It's like, oh, it's like almost like grape juice that went a little bit wrong. So like it tastes better to me than beer.

But not to the point where I'm like, I have to make an active effort to get into it. Because also Avital doesn't drink wine or beer very often either so i'm not like gonna like force it and just drink by myself yeah in the house it's just not alcohol really in the house yeah there's no reason to have it for me to have it but then when i go to like big dinners which haven't happened in a year and a half that was because you weren't getting invited to dinners before covid right yeah oh yeah and then the covid thing for sure didn't help like it didn't help me make my inroads back repair those so 2020 was the year of me sort of repairing relationships during dinner group dinners and stuff but we haven't had any for uh

yeah a year so i have to sort of take a knee on that effort. So what's your unsolicited advice? I guess I feel weird telling people to get into wine, but fuck it. Try getting into wine. That's right. It's a fun little hobby. It helps me unwind. And I think that there's something that's a little more relaxing about it than like drinking a cocktail. It's helping me unwind at the end of the day yeah uh are you also having a cocktail at the post dinner no no i only have like one glass of wine uh like two times a week i'm still i don't i don't really drink on a on a school night but if i do i'm not drinking beer anymore i'm drinking wine all right keep us posted on your wine journey i will uh do you have maybe a wine themed word

or i guess any word really it's hard enough to play this game as is let's go with uh uh tannins okay do you know how to spell those i think it's t-a-n--I-N-S. T-A-N-I-N-S? Yeah. Isn't that a thing about wine? It looks like there's two Ns. T-A-N-N-S. With two Ns. Oh, yeah, three Ns, really. Wow.

Either way, there is no. Really? Yeah, no tannin. God, our fucking listeners are so uncultured. I mean, they don't know you're a whiny now. I'm a wino. Let's go with Malbec. Just the name of a wine. Oh, that my favorite one it's a it's an argentine red would you believe there's no malbec

or tannin related questions in our inbox okay this is let's riesling let's go yeah riesling's not bad i mean i used to be really into riesling was like the first wine that I liked because it's just fruit. It's like, it's a white wine fruit juice. Yeah. There's none of this wine-themed questions for us. Sauvignon Blanc. No, it's not. You're naming more esoteric ones.

Try it. Sauvignon Blanc. I don't know how to spell that. Oh, it's an autocorrect. Yeah. No, no. there's no solving y'all let's try and no do not try another wine one we tried the riesling we tried tannins it's not happening just try pino just try pino p-i-n-o-t because that's kind of from a jake

in the mirror i think dude two emails but basically just one question. Whoa. What do you mean? One of them is a Warby Parker receipt that someone forwarded to us, and the style was in Pinot. And then the other one is a question in Pinot. So we'll call this a victory. That's a fucking W. That's a W.

Oh! That's a W, baby. It's a no-hitter, but it's not a perfect game. Do you know what I mean? It wasn't the true one result, it basically was yeah definitely uh okay here's the question pretty much the night started out going really really well i was gone off the pino and generally having a good time uh and i ended up meeting a really great group of people and was invited back to smoke a j all this stuff that just can't happen anymore it's beautiful to read about the woe-begone year And I ended up meeting a really great group of people and was invited back to Smoke a J.

All this stuff that just can't happen anymore. It's beautiful to read about the woebegone year of February of 2019. So everything so far is going great. And I'm leading the conversation pretty much talking up of my passion for design. And anyway, so we're all walking back to the room. The conversation ended up with one of the girls saying how it's great meeting someone with so much passion. And this is where things start going bad. For some reason, I responded, yeah, you know, I love passionate people too.

It's like birds, all these birds, and I just listen to them. And you know, somebody actually gave enough of a fuck to name them all. Thank God. This comment is met with a sudden silence in the room, as nobody thought it was funny yet. For some reason, the whole room stopped to listen, and the owner of the house then proceeds to roast me for the comment and makes everyone laugh at me. At this point, I drunk i am and i was pretty much done for the rest of the night so my question is i'm probably gonna run into this group again at a party should i apologize or at least bring up the bird thing it's been running through my head for

the last week and the situation is honestly honestly brutal i feel like i can never be friends with these people without bringing it up in some way uh thanks love we didn't even get this guy a name i guess larry bird i am almost positive that we answered this question it did sound familiar so there is a chance we already answered it do you remember what we said that's the thing that i cannot remember but i remember very well it's like birds there's so many and somebody actually thought to name them all thank god and then deafening silence and the host goes did you fucking hear what this loser said to try to impress this lady and everyone cracked up at him with all this like hindsight now i almost think that he must have been in a kind of drunken

stupid state before he said this like it's no there's no way that everything was perfect and then he said this he might have just thought that things were going well said this got made fun of but like before that people were sort of starting to be like hey what's up with this guy he seems really trashed trashed you know yeah uh yeah so i guess uh bring it up in a joking fashion but uh odds are they don't remember it as uh as scarring as you are the person who is the result the getting made fun of it's much more emotionally deeply ingrained into their dna now for somebody else it was just probably a passing moment. Yeah, it's like we make fun of everybody. Or, you know, like, oh, yeah, I get drunk and say stupid shit sometimes, too.

So you can only, I really do think you can only make it worse by showing that you haven't been able to let it go. Especially a year and a half later. Show up to the next party dressed as a giant bird. Oh, come on. We were all thinking it uh all right i'm gonna search a hanukkah themed word since it's hanukkah um time of year i'm gonna go for dreidel how many dreidel themed questions a hundred wow wow wow. All right. This one is just like yours.

Two search results. Whoa. Really? One of them is just the word dreidel with a question mark. So barely counts. And the other one was sent today. What? I think that's a win.

That's a win. If we're playing bocce, Game Boy got the ball right up near the ball, but now you're kissing the thing. You just edged me out. But it's still not a true, true one of one. But yeah, that's pretty close. Today and one that just says dreidel. I mean, that's awesome.

Who's a female Judah? Judy the Maccabee writes, I work at an elementary school. Our music teacher is Jewish and for part of her lesson taught the class how to play dreidel and it was a lot of fun. I want to play with my family but none of us are Jewish. Is it okay for

us to play? I didn't want to ask the music teacher because I don't want to make our work relationship awkward. Please help. This lady, by the way, we're calling her Judy but she has a more the music teacher because i don't want to make our work relationship awkward please help this lady by the way we're calling her judy but she has a more jewish name than judy so she can definitely get away with it imo i see uh yeah it's a little anti-semitic it's really anti-semitic i think yeah for a hasmonean to play dreidel that's our game it's not cool you know what the origin story of the dreidel is it's

like they the jews who were persecuted were praying in secrecy and in order to make it seem like they weren't praying they were playing a dreidel game when like the bad guys would come around and be like look those jews are praying oh no never mind they're just playing a game which is like the opposite of what people do now. It's like, the teacher's coming. Quick, put away the dreidel. Let's pretend you're praying. They had to pretend they were playing dreidel. That's how fucked up things were back then.

But do you remember the rules of dreidel? Have you played dreidel in a while? I haven't played. Well, there was a dreidel on the counter on the first night of Hanukkah. I spun it a couple times before I needed to lie down. And I remember there's four sides of the dreidel on the counter on the first night of Hanukkah. I spun it a couple times before I needed to lie down. And I remember there's four sides of the dreidel. That's right. Yeah.

And then four letters that indicate what you get or lose. In the pot, yeah. Yeah. Of course, gimel is everything. Gimel is good. Yeah. Gim course uh gimel is uh everything gimel is good yeah gimel is like give me everything uh that's good that's the one that looks like a nose yeah that means you get none so that's good yeah none yeah that's right and then there are two others yeah so every letter on the that's on the side of a dreidel is like an acronym for a great miracle happened there. Nes, gadol, nun, gimel, hayasham, ech, hey, shin is the last one.

So if you get, there's different rules really, but basically one of the sides says, give me all the gelt in the middle. One of the sides says, add two of your gelt to the middle. One says, give me half the pile. One says, do nothing at all. That's the rules of the dreidel game. What's the one that give me two one which one is that that one's the way i played it was shin which is like now i have to give two of mine to the fucking middle for the next guy to have that's the first one and you want the gelt the gelt or the

gelt of course is is chocolate coins wrapped in metal to make it look like cash which that's right yeah so there's that so you got the gelt you got the dreidel i think you can play the dreidel with your family it's honestly this is the first time i've heard of christians co-opting jewish culture usually it's like jews that eventually wear down and get a christmas tree so it's nice for a family with a christmas tree to want to play dreidel games. That's considered a win for me. Have you gotten your Christmas tree yet? I haven't yet.

I figured I wouldn't get one because I never have and I don't like Christmas and I don't want it in my house and I don't want to go outside and I don't want a tree in here and I don't want to celebrate Christmas. I don't want the gifts and I don't want to see it in my fucking line of sight. So I figured I wouldn't get a Christmas tree this year. Did you get yours? I got one at home, yeah. I got one in my parents' house.

Me and my brother cut our own. And we decorated it. You should drag one to Joel's parents' house next time you come over for wine. You could be like, oh, I got you guys this eight-foot Douglas fir. It's a lot. I think I might just do the manger. I'll just set up the manger by the TV. Cause then it's like,

it's small. I can do it myself, but it could fit in a small pack. Cause then it's the hay. It's the hay. It's the figurines. The head, the figurine,

the baby Jesus goes in the middle. You set up the, uh, the wise men or whatever the fuck. Uh, yeah. And would it kill you to put a wreath on the TV and some bells, please? Somebody hits you with a wine bottle and blindsides you.

That was the Game Boy. He did it as a goof uh but yeah steal it have it please enjoy the dreidel game yeah yeah spin that top is that the only fun thing that jewish people have god that's a great question uh well no there's purim there's purim which is like jewish halloween you're gonna get dressed up and go to carnivals and play games. That's pretty fun. Okay. You got,

what's the, is that with Purim too? Is it? Yeah. Yeah. Grogger. Yeah. Yeah. You do like a little,

yeah. You do like a little spiel. It's like a comedy skit. That's pretty good. It's not bad. There's a few secret holidays that involve siphoning power and money from people. That's fun for us.

Interesting. Oh, and then there's fun for us. Interesting. Oh, and then there's Simchas Torah. Did you know about that one where you sort of get drunk and party with the Torah? That one's a good one. That's what we're doing when we're like sort of siphoning,

like I said, stealing power slowly but surely from the Christians. There also aren't any other good like Christian holidays. It is only the two, right? It's Christmas versus Hanukkah. It's not like everybody... No, there's Easter it's christmas versus hanukkah it's not like everybody there's easter versus passover fan of yeah nobody likes paste nobody likes either

is easter really good easter is just i guess when you're a kid you get like candy yeah that's pretty the easter bunny the easter bunny is fun yeah getting a chocolate bunny when you're when you're an adult easter kind of turns into nothing well i guess I guess if you're an atheist like I am, Easter really is nothing. Yeah. But it's hard because Easter is competing with Passover. And with Passover, it's like you don't get bread. It's like the holiday where you can't have stuff. And have a bitter herb.

And Yom Kippur is rude also. Just don't eat fast for a day. Fast and pray. Yom Kippur is the shin of Jewish holidays. You have to give for two days, and then eventually it's supposed to be like, you know, you're atoning, you're doing deep introspection.

It's very meditative. So it's good on a spiritual level. All right. Speaking of games, do you have one last Game Boy question to search for? Let's go with Nalgene. Nalgene. Okay. Nalgene.

It's the type of bottle. It's what I'm drinking out of right now. Okay. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. We are getting so close. Two.

Two? With Nalgene. Yes. Fuck. Are they both legit questions? One of them is pretty good. It's a Nalgene-themed question, and you are back on the Nalgene kick, right?

Yeah, I am back on the Nalgene kick. Huge fan of the Nalgene. I am a 21-year-old college dropout, male, of course. We'll call this guy Jake. And I bought a Nalgene from rei and put a lot of stickers on it after taking it to work i began taking the stickers off of it after i remove all the stickers should i apply just one nixon sticker oh warm regards jake interesting do you put stickers on the jean i don't put stickers on the jean i don't think it's worth

putting stickers on your now jean because you have to wash it and it's not like i feel like you put stickers on the jean and it's like it's kind of just showing showing your cards that you don't wash it very well you know yeah although you can wash the inside without getting the outside too wet right i guess so but it's just like, I don't know. You might as well not. You might as well just. I have seen like Nalgene's that are covered in stickers. That's like a thing, right?

Yeah, it is, but it doesn't feel clean to me, and I don't like it, and I don't think one sticker. I do think if you're going to cover in stickers or no stickers, don't do one sticker, especially not one that says nixon which i know is like a skate brand i think but like you know it still could send the wrong message have you ever done a sticker on either an algin or a computer like you know like the one sticker on the back where the apple logo is at my i did i never did that but i did at my file cabinet at the head gum office i I put, um,

I started putting stickers on. Yeah. It's, it's good to have a place. It's good to have a place to put a sticker, but then yeah, you can go overboard. People like cake their analogies, cake their computers.

And at a certain point it starts weighing down the machinery. Yeah. Not a computer. I think that it's, it is good to have a spot. I think the file cabinet is a good spot. I think maybe I also, I've,

I've also like um once was in the habit of like putting them on like my inside dresser drawer so you never really see them except for when you're out of socks that's kind of interesting yeah that's it's a it's a cute reminder that you have to do laundry yeah if you can see the stickers you've gone too far but they also make nowalgene's in cooler colors now so i think that you could do that instead of uh instead of covering it in stickers how are you washing that nalgene is it every day no i don't wash it i really don't wash it at all because yeah you're constantly drinking out of it are you sure there's nothing like yeah yeah you don't need

to because it's the only glass i really i rinse it a lot i rinse it often sure you don't need to? Because it's the only glass. I really, I rinse it a lot. I rinse it often. Yeah. I don't know that I've ever taken soap and sponge to this thing. Ever. Interesting. You think it's worth it? Maybe once a year, do it on Christmas, give it a deep scrub?

Yeah, that's not a bad idea. That's not a bad idea at all. I'll think about that. I really will. Think about it. Just do it. I'm going to take that under advisement. Why don't you just fucking do it? It'll take two seconds to do it. I'm going to take that under advisement. Why don't you just fucking do it?

It'll take two seconds to do it. I'm going to sleep on it. You don't have to sleep on it. Do it. Wash the Nalgene. You don't have to sleep on it. You don't have to take it under advisement. I have to sleep on it because you said to do it at Christmas, so I'm going to obviously have to sleep on it.

I have to sleep on it for another two weeks. I'm just asking you to just really quick. Soap, water, you give it a couple pumps. It creates a froth. You rinse that out. Then if there's anything in there, yeah, you don't. I might. Are you convinced? I might. Not might. Then if there's anything in there, it, okay. You know, I might,

are you convinced? I might, it might, it might just say, you'll do it. It's, it's honestly faster to do it than to think about it. You have my attention, Blumenfeld.

I see. It might happen. You invited me to a board called inspo to get my Nalgene soapy. What is this? A pink hammock? How could this possibly spark? Holy shit. This whole thing is not only Nygene

but Hygiene. This is crazy. You're planning a fucking ceremony for this shit. Just wash your gene. Gene. So your final advice is to lot of stickers or no stickers at all. Yeah. yeah commit or don't stick

or get stuck yeah by the way this message was sent 21 years ago this person is dead of course i do i will say that i love this question and i want more questions i want more like shallow level questions like this directed at us so if anyone's saying that uh that just has something that they feel like doesn't require us to discuss it on a podcast think twice and try emailing it because i'd like to discuss it that's good yeah there's no we we often discuss bigger issues like the pandemic and quarantine and love matter too small sometimes it's just how many stickers should i put on my fucking Nalgene? These are the things people think about.

I think about that shit all day. That's right. So yeah, let us know. Have you done potato for a goat show episode? I was thinking about that earlier. Yeah, we did. We did a goat show episode of the goat form of potato. Yeah, it sounded familiar.

You said mashed potatoes, right? Micah lobbied me hard for mashed potatoes to be the runner-up i think in the end i i let him say it but i said i didn't care for them uh the woat i believe the woat was like oh the baked what was yeah oh yeah the woat was baked potato then potato then mashed potato, and then French fry. That's right. That's very good. And latke didn't get mentioned. It might have got an honorable mention because we did talk a long time about ho-fries. We really waxed potato. So I would check it out. Yeah.

Listen to that episode of The Code Show and then listen to all the other ones, please. Yeah. It sounded familiar for sure. All right, cool. That's it. That's our time. Thank you for writing in those emails and theme songs. Send them all to ifirewshow at gmail.com.

Still no follow-up from the guy who wanted to know if he should text a girl back when she asked him in a pretty boring fashion. But as soon as we hear, yeah, maybe next week. And for, yeah, for uh of us talking into microphones only as a video check out our patreon patreon.com slash ja oh yes making videos every week we're nearing 5 000 patrons on there so you want to be one of the first 5 000 otherwise it's like you're too late to the party you know i think last week didn't we read we read an un an unrecorded an unshot script a jake and amir that was scripted to be shot was never ever filmed edited or posted and and we found out why

oh wow i don't even remember that. So yeah, it must be intriguing. All right, I'll watch it. I'll fucking watch the episode. Are you happy? I'll subscribe to our Patreon. Good man. It's about time. All right.

The opening theme song was so good. Let's say we listen to it again. Because you know what? It's Christmas themed. So do you remember who wrote that? It was Grant and... His girlfriend. Alyssa.

Nice. Yes, girlfriend. Alyissa and boyfriend grant uh sweet i don't have anything to plug but my favorite jake and amir episodes are normal conversation in the dupes series all right thank you alissa cool thank you grant let's watch normal conversation on our uh patreon forum sounds good to me is that the one with dan klein i think so good man good dan good dan we'll see you we'll see you guys soon bye everybody if i were if i were if i were you if i were you, show at gmail.com Jake and Amir will give you that advice Now we'll go and seize the cheese If I were, if I were, if I were you

Jake and Amir are two good Jews Answering questions and winning turkeys They'll make fun of you. And if I show what I show on the HeadGum Network, it's the right time, it's the right

time to email them all your problems. If I were, if I were, if I were you, show at gmail.com Send your questions and queries and qualms Over to Jake and Amir That was a Hiddem Original.