Segments - 513: Gym Flirting (w/The Dumbbells!)

Episode Date: November 8, 2021

Friends and fellow Headgum podcasters Erin McGown and Ryan Stanger are in the zoom room discussing getting sliced, drinking ice, and near death experiences.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. The $5 meal deal at McDonald's means you get to pick between a McDouble or a McChicken. Then get a small fry, a small drink, and a four-piece McNuggets. That's a lot of McDonald's for not a lot of money. I got money. Get the $5 meal deal today. Prices and participation may vary for a limited time only. They're white, they're in their thirties

Jake is kind of flirty Amir will win the tourney If I were you They give out sage advice I won't say that it's right But Jake is slick with nice If I were you Amir

Shmuel Blumenfeld They're really kind of funny, they do the shit for money, they started headgummy if I were you There it is, that was it. Really good.

Wow. Really good stuff. Ryan, Aaron thoughts? I don't know. Do you guys, are you guys, do you remember the Addams Family? Is that in your wheelhouse? Oh, yes. The Addams Family is awesome. And that was a great theme song.

That was nice. It was, you know, the trick with that kind of thing is making, if I were you, like the phrasing on that is tough and making it work but i think that's a skilled you know like they talk about sinatra being able to you know he had really good phrasing outside of whatever people think about his voice he could kind of fit words and phrases in i think yeah i think that that was the uh that was really masterstroke was like uh making if i were you fit in that kind of you know whatever that uh you know whatever a smart music way to say that is yeah instead of adam's family it's if i were you yeah that was tough so basically basically this this guy is actually in a band called dear lincoln

who's submitted some theme songs before yeah i've yeah. I've always liked that band name. Good name. He's sort of the Frank Sinatra of If I Were You Show submissions. He always said that. We were going to do a lounge show for him. He's a crooner. Tuxedos and tattoos. He says, I know it seems like I took that sweet, sweet cash that you sent for the Hogan family theme song and retired, but that $10 ran out fast. So to reclaim my throne, here's the Addogan family theme song and retired, but that $10 ran out fast.

So to reclaim my throne, here's the Addams family theme song. The only, and only one week passed where it would actually be timely to use. I don't know why the Addams family would be, oh, because of Halloween. You used it the week after.

Well, he sent it the day after, so I'm sorry. It's a tough, deadlines are after, so I'm sorry. Deadlines are tough, you know? Yes. I don't want to wait another year. Isn't the Addams Family, like, isn't it out right now,

like a new version of it? Yeah, I think there's a new sequel to their CG offering of the Addams Family. Interesting. Yeah. Okay. All right. So we might have missed Halloween,een but it's it's still uh timely uh my band has been pretty silent as of late but if you could promote my band dear lincoln

it would be awesome dear lincoln.com so there you go thank you dear lincoln you did a great job right is it is it d-e-e-r what do you think i want it to be dear lincoln With the top hat on? Like a little grassy meadow with a fucking top hat. Getting shot like Bambi slash Lincoln himself. Fucking John Wilkes shot Bambi's mom? Whoa. Too soon? It goes all the way to the top. Aaron and Ryan, thank you so much for joining us from the Dumbbells podcast on this here

Hedgum Network. Yeah. Correct. Yeah, thank you. Thank you for having us. Big news over at the Dumbbells, over in the Dumbbells world. Are we breaking? Are we breaking news?

Breaking news. Like, no one else has heard this news. This is hot, hot, hot information. Okay, okay. I'm ready. Yeah, so Erin, whose voice you've been hearing, has taken the official co-hosting duties from former co-host and founder, Eugene Cordero.

And so, yeah, Erin's stepping in. She's taking the reins. And so we had like a little mini relaunch that's been probably a couple weeks now when people have heard this. Eugene will pop back in and out when he's got time. But for people that know and follow Eugene, he's shooting the Mandalorian, the Loki show. Yeah, he's got a lot of stuff going on. And like two kids under four so yeah so you're not mad at eugene i was hoping there would be some sort of b for animosity that

we can start just to drum up some controversy just like jealousy of his career but that's yeah okay that's a good starting point yeah like it has to have an origin story across the board yeah everyone was jealous of him right now. So the trick was to find somebody with another e-name that had done guest co-hosting in the past. So we're checking two boxes here. And then it's also talented and dynamic, something that I don't have.

So I was like, I got to... Great. It's time. It's time one of the hosts was dynamic and talented. Might as well. So enter Aaron McGowan. And yeah, so here we are. Everybody's up to speed now.

Everybody's caught up. Very cool. A passing of the torch. I can't wait until me or Jake is successful enough not to host this show. You think it'll happen? Because it's been like, what, eight, nine years at this point? I feel like it would have happened by now, right?

Yeah, well, the thing is that we phoned it in so hard hard that would be kind of weird if one of us left because it's like how busy would we have to be to not fart out another 45 right every week and we do we do fart it out i can't stress that enough yeah they've yeah okay good i i'm glad to hear that because i that's what i'm here for I've got my fucking asshole up to the microphone. And it does sound like my voice that is weird, but a lot of wizardry in the sound department over at HeadGum making this all kind of work somehow. And it's up to your eyesight as well.

You keep the microphone and the camera really close together. Ryan is recording this whole thing Jim Carrey style in Ace Ventura. And he does that when it's just us too. So I'm glad you guys are here. I heard he does that when he records ads solo as well. Yes. For sure. Let me ask you something about Squarespace.

Reading talking points, facing away from the microphone. You don't need to do that. Do you think people do that to Tone Loke ever? I mean, he was the one that had to do... That's a good call. He's the one who saw the ass. Yeah, a lot of that kind of back and forth with that whole scene there.

But fortunately, he's got two hit songs, so that runs a little interference. Yeah, funky Cole Medina sort of washed away that entire scene from him so he doesn't have to think about it anymore. So that runs a little interference. Yeah. Funky Cole Medina. Something else. Sort of washed away that entire scene from him. So he doesn't have to think about it anymore. Did you? Actually, I rewatched that movie over quarantine.

Problematic. You know, a little problematic. Very silly. So funny. I mean. Yeah. Jim Carrey is just sort of a comedy genius. So that sticks around.

I rewatched The Mask. That's what I rewatched over quarantine. And it really goes off the rails, which I guess that's a lot of movies. But I was like, I do not remember this. It just was insane. And I mean, it was fun. I think it was still fun.

I don't think it was as problematic as I think. Yeah, no, you're right. Yeah, it was Pet Detective. Yeah, it was. Some people call it Ace Ventura. Some people call it Pet Detective. I've never heard of Pet Detective. I like to just call it Pet Detective.

You guys know the Pet Detective? You guys remember in the second one where he comes out of the butt of the rhinos? I call that one When Nature Calls, but yeah, it's also. That shaped my childhood. I saw that in theaters and I think about that every time I see a rhino. Yeah. It shaped your adulthood as well.

Yeah, it's continuing on to shape my life. That part's funny as hell. He gets hot in there, so he has to take all his clothes off so he's like nude coming out of it right yeah like he's like he's giving birth to a human that's funny we should just be talking about jim carrey movie let's see uh what's the one the majestic the one where he buys a movie theater for some reason oh yeah i think that's oh i never saw that one yeah yeah that one's that's where he lost really problematic too i don't know it doesn't it doesn't stay what is it called relevant doesn't that what word am i thinking of it doesn't hold up hold it out hold it out of here it's hold up it doesn't hold up wow you couldn't think of

the word hold up it's actually two words one of them is up the other one is i already forget what is that because of what's happened you know with um theaters these days yeah it was the whole movie pass thing it was tacky yeah that movie today would have just been jim carrey getting a netflix account and it would have been over in 38 seconds i guess guess. Starting a streaming service that would, again, last 38 seconds. Consolidating six media companies. Blowing through $2 billion

of venture capital in a year and a half. I'm not afraid to call out the fucking bigwigs on this show. You know what? A lot of people are like kowtowing around it, trying like stay employed no fuck that i will say bezos on next week really yeah you got bezos coming on ask bezos is coming on yeah is he doing testosterone replacement therapy because that guy has transformed um he's had a glow up he's had a glow yeah he's looking yoked yeah yeah but he got didn't he

get divorced that's what it was that happens when you get divorced right you either get jacked or you get he he looked like yeah could have gone either way when he first came out he looked like the fucking the little old guy that they would do in the simpsons you know that like little tiny old hans molman yeah yeah. He looked like... And now he looks like Mr. Burns. Which is, you know, kind of a lateral move, but at least he's taller. It looks like Homer when Homer got jacked. That's cool. Remember that?

Yeah. When he climbed the Matterhorn, yeah. Okay, we got some real questions from real people. This first one is about diet okay uh we need a fake name just to preserve this guy's anonymity we can't out him otherwise people are going to be coming up to him on the street saying weren't you that guy in that if i were you episode so stanger do you have a fake name to refer to this person as as we try to help him out of this moral dilemma uh tristan ludlow that's great tristan ludlow wow hot

actually that's the name of an agent that's a hot name yeah nobody named tristan ludlow has ever had a problem but i guess let's try to imagine dear jane i'm looking to get sliced i go to the gym regularly but diet seems to be a hurdle. I'm currently on the LeBron James diet, which is where you only eat meat, fish, veggies, and some fruit while abstaining from carbs, sugar, and dairy. I guess that's the LeBron James diet now. That being said, do y'all have any other tips? Y'all seem to be in pretty good shape, and it'd be cool to nail some healthy habits down in my mid-20s good luck with the patreon uh love tristan wow mid mid-20s i didn't really think about diet in my mid-20s but i guess it's starting earlier and earlier yeah that was a big reveal you know you're

like you're picturing somebody else and the guy's like you know i'm 21 i'm looking to get fucking sliced. How old were you guys when you realized that, oh, carbs are actually contributing to maybe fat in my body? I remember that was like an aha moment in 2005 for me where I'm like, I guess I shouldn't have bagels every morning. That's actually putting on some pounds. Yeah, because I remember growing up, I had this teacher in high school named Mr. Berman, and he was an honors English teacher, and he was super cool and ripped. And he would eat plain bagels. And I remember thinking like, wow, this guy's such a health nut. He's eating a plain bagel, fat, no fat free. Yeah, fat and bread sort of flip-flopped at a point in like the early aughts where it was like you can have as much fat as you want yeah

we should have told you that earlier no and meanwhile fucking berman is just a genetic freak you know um a billy scuffuri yeah exactly but do you know do you guys know billy he just eats a pound of pasta a day and remains with oh yeah he's done the show before yeah and he's crazy ripped he's like one percent body fat it's unbelievable yeah yeah so you sort of you can't really dictate what you should do based on billy's diet or mr berman's diet no so for me i was going to the movies with this girl i was seeing, and she was a little older than I was. And I was maybe just getting done with high school or something, or maybe summer before college. And so she was really fit. I met her at the gym, and she had a bunch of fit friends. And they're all maybe two or three years older than I was.

And I remember I got a big icy then like some Skittles or something. And one of her friends, like, aren't you worried about all the fat? And I was like, what? This is all fat free. So it's a cherry icy,

you idiot. Did icy survive? Are there still icy? So I totally forgot about it. Yes. I S E E. I like the lid because you had, and like,

you would have to fill like the lid, you know, like it had a domed lid and then you would, it was pumped with air so you could like fill the fucking lid out. But anyway, she called me out and she was like, you know, sugar, what do you think happens to that sugar? And I remember when we were seeing like Armageddon,

like the whole time my fucking world was rocked. Like I couldn't even focus on the movie. It's like the meteor hit you oh truly yeah did they did they create those straws icies with the spoon at the end of the straw was that like a proprietary thing or did they uh did they buy that from a third company I hope they made it themselves because that was a genius move I mean they they did make it themselves and, they make more money licensing the straw than they ever know. Icy's are free. It's really all about the proprietary tech.

That's a good TikTok that I'm going to post later. You know, you don't know this, but Icy is a billion-dollar industry because of the straw innovation. They actually lose money on the drink. They got the patent in 1990. The Spoonie with two E's. The Spraw.

Half spoon, half straw. Spraw E. Aaron, when did you get your carb world rocked? I don't know. I think when I lost my big amount of weight, I think at some point I was doing, I did the subway diet Wow, that's Jared's style

Yeah, yeah That's where you just eat a $5 foot long And look at child porn You crank it enough That you lose 4,000 calories a day And then you go to prison Where they give you three squares Low carb though

Yeah So that's exactly how I found out about carbs. No, but I was doing that, like, trying to eat those sandwiches. And then I think I, like, they started, again, Subway started doing, like, salads. And so that's kind of when I was like, oh, interesting. I'll switch it over because I heard bread was bad, but I didn't know why and so i did

it was around like my early 20s when i started like switching to less carbs but now i eat carbs and i think carbs are they get a bad rap yeah we're going back we're going all the way back the carbs are now gotta go back carbs seem kind of fine it's i to me it's always sugar sugar sugar is bad i don't like sugar but aren't carbs sugar yeah but like if well i guess what's the difference between carbs that like turn into sugar and just like straight up they all they all they all turn into sugar i mean so depending on what the source of the carbohydrate is um is basically how complex or intricate it is until it ultimately becomes sugar. So when you hear people talk about complex carbs, it's the least refined, least processed.

So finding something in kind of like a vegetable form or in, if we want to say like whole grain, like in a whole grain form. So there's more fiber, there's more stuff going on and so it takes your body a little bit more work and time to break it down into glucose which gets converted to glycogen which either is used for movement or stored ultimately that's what I was going to say

as well so I'm glad that we have say that again now that so Jake because Ryan just glycos breaks the glu glycerin glycerin Jake just gained 38 pounds while making that joke because Ryan just glycos breaks the glisterine. Glisterine. Jake just gained 38 pounds while making that joke.

So, I mean, if he's on the quote LeBron James diet, which is like, I guess every diet is the same diet. It's just has different names. This is keto. This is caveman. It all seems like the same to me, right? The Rock. Yeah.

I want to know if he's doing the LeBron diet for real, how much he really needs to lose. That's what I want to know. It's tough because it's sliced. It's vague. What is that? Well, how much do you need to lose to get sliced? Being sliced has to be like your 0% body fat.

That's sliced. Is sliced beyond shredded or it goes sliced then shredded? Sliced seems to be beyond shredded to me. I feel like shredded gets tossed around a lot. I don't hear sliced that much. But that's interesting, though, because just in terms of food prep, shredded seems like it's got more. It's thin. it's stringier.

Sliced, you could do that with a ham, thick slice. I want to be thick sliced. I'm on the all-ham diet. I'm not going to be shredded because I still want to enjoy my life every once in a while. Jake, you make a great point, and you've convinced me. So I retract what I said earlier. Yeah, two abs you don't need six just two to four jay convention shredded bread it's the greatest thing since

sliced bread so you just sort of finally coarsely chop a loaf and eat it like big league chew throughout the day chop it through put it through one of those paper shredders just like ram a fucking sourdough loaf in one of those suckers like hey now we're talking but it's just dough on the other side i guess that's spaghetti yeah we invented spaghetti wow we yeah we did we're doing a lot for america and the world uh yeah tristan doesn't sound tristan sounds like he's on track. He doesn't need to get rid of carbs all the way. He just needs to be a little more, maybe just dial it in. Just focus on what you're doing. I agree. I was going to say, I think that you could probably benefit from auditing your diet, Tristan, and anybody that's maybe feels like they're doing a lot, but it's not working the way they want, just really screw down on what exactly you're doing.

So there's tons of fitness apps that are free. My Fitness Pal app is one that gets referenced a lot that you can add to your phone. They're really easy. They're really intuitive. And that'll just give you a baseline. So you're like, okay, these are how I'm representing my macronutrients. And this is how many calories I'm having every day, and this is probably how much I'm burning. And then you can just start to make adjustments there.

So I'll try scaling back the calories a little tiny bit, or I'll try adding the calories, or I'll take in more protein or whatever it is. And then you can be really systematic about it and see what works and what doesn't, as opposed to just kind of like guessing. You know, I think otherwise you're just kind of taking shots in the dark. You don't have any control on your variables. And the other thing I was going to say about LeBron is I did hear him on the Tim Ferriss podcast. Do you guys know who Tim Ferriss is? Oh, yeah. I think I listened to that interview.

Yeah. He's a dry motherfucker. I mean, he's as dry as it gets. And the podcast can be a little bit of a slog, but for a time he got interesting guests. And I heard LeBron on there, and he was so excited to have him on. And he's always like, he wants to know what people's secrets are and what books they read and how they sleep. He's always trying to unlock the key to what it is that makes them great. And so he had LeBron on and they had LeBron's trainer. I think it was when they were

kind of demoing Ladder or whatever their supplement company is. And so he was like, what do you eat and what's the diet like? And LeBron obviously eats healthy and works super hard, but he said, I'll have chicken parm and then like a glass of wine, but I keep it in moderation. And Tim Ferriss just short-circuited. Like he couldn't, he didn't like freak out on air, but you could hear it like in his mind, just like you're eating chicken parm and a glass of wine.

It's like- That's the key. He used that during halftime. Yeah. He could not get his fucking rap his brain around that like what the fuck like he's you know he's weighing his food he's you know getting tea that he picks himself you know and like meanwhile this guy's just an nba star and like he's just a little chicken parm a glass of wine you know i guess it helps that he's played 30 000 minutes

of nba basketball yes yes have you done that have you done some high intensity workout every year you know, I guess it helps that he's played 30,000 minutes of NBA basketball. Yes. Have you done that? Have you done some high intensity workout every year since you were a fucking teenager? No, I worked for four hours a week. No. Well, that's something that people don't talk about.

And I think people are talking about it more, right? Like more with social media and stuff and, and trying to be more body positive. Is that like, like if you're a personal trainer you're working out like for so much you're working out so much i can't even like i heard like a peloton girl does like eight hours of exercise a day seems like a lot it seems high that seems

it seems high yeah well how many hours are in a day? Real quick. Let's figure this out. Work backwards. Something like that. We don't know for sure. Nobody may know. But it is like you get this idea of what you can do as like a person with a job, a family, a life. And then you're like, I'm not seeing these crazy, I'm not getting sliced, shredded, any of those words. And you're like, what am I doing wrong? And you're like, well, maybe you're not like a psycho.

Yeah. Maybe it's what you're doing right. Yeah. Yeah. So I tell people like, it's okay. Like if you have goals, that's good. And what Stanger said is good. Like keep track and all that stuff.

But it's also like, okay, life is long. Let it be a journey. You're in your early 20s. You don't have to cut your carbs in your early 20s. Where do you go from there? Right, right. I'm dealing with some middle-aged malaise, existential crisis. Anyway, I'm 16.

Let me know. What does it mean, man? Why are we here, buddy? Trying to find some meaning. I'm just worried about global climate change and how it'll affect me going forward. I'm 11, but yeah, any advice you can have. They should be worried, 11-year-olds out there. And my advice to an 11-year-old is like,

you're fucked, you're gone. Sorry about that whole what we've been doing. Live hard in your tweenage years because you don't have a lot left. Yeah, go to space camp or some shit because yeah that's where we're headed off this planet with the bezos yeah all right let's take a break uh answer some more questions on the other side of these messages oh thank you to draft kings for sponsoring this episode of our show. Hey-o, DraftKings. The NFL is back. That's correct.

And the best part of football season is checking out the post-game stats. I want to know which wideout scored more than two tutties, which QB threw for less than 350 yards. And if you think you can pick who will do what before the kickoff then you should play pick six from draft kings which is an official daily fantasy partner of the nfl wow so if you like watching football and it sounds like you do i do yeah i do a lot this this can really heighten your joy that's right i grew up a raiders fan and now i'm just a fan of the league in general but i still have a fan of gambling enough yes you're a fan of gambling yes and i do have an affinity for the silver and black so if you like football as much as me which is not

likely because i do know a lot like do you know what a nickelback uh does in a cover two defense or like do you know what a play action pass is like these are like some advanced things that i know that you wouldn't i basically know run and hail mary you actually know both of those yeah running is when you run and then hail mary is when you chuck it right damn i think you should download the draft kings pick six out select between two and six players for you to put some money on you select between two and six players and choose if they'll have more or less of a stat. It's that simple. And for all first-time pick six players, check this out.

New customers play $5 on your first pick set and get $50 in pick six credits. Whoa-za. Very cool. Download the new DraftKings pick six app now and use code SEGMENTS. That's code SEGMENTS for new customers to play $5 on your first pick set and get $50 in Pick 6 credits only on DraftKings Pick 6. The crown is yours. There you go. Anything to add? Yeah, I was going to say gambling problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER and help is available for problem gambling. Call 1-888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.oregonconnecticut. Must be 18 plus.

Age and eligibility restrictions vary by jurisdictions. Pick six is not available everywhere, including New York and Ontario. Void where prohibited. One per new customer. Non-withdrawable pick six credits expire in six months. Limited time offer. See terms at picksix.draftkings.com slash... Right, promos.

There it is. Thanks, DraftKings. With the $5 meal deal at McDonald's, you pick a McDouble or a McChicken, then get a small fry, a small drink, and a four-piece McNuggets. That's a lot of McDonald's for not a lot of money. Price and participation may vary

for a limited time only. And we're back. Aaron and or Ryan, do you guys have any unsolicited advice? Mom, I'm coming! That was gross. Uncouth. Sorry about that. Yeah, unsolicited advice. Is that? We should start warning Sorry about that. Yeah, unsolicited advice.

Is that? We should start warning people about that. Yeah. That was Jake making some lewd joke. That was off color. I'm the one that says gross at the end of that. You say mom, I'm coming. You say mom, I'm coming.

I say gross. Okay, I did have questions, so I'm glad you guys clarified that. She could be ready to go and you're you know you're on your way exactly yes that's sort of what i was saying that's it yeah okay that felt right okay all right unsolicited advice what do you guys got i i um i so i i've been meditating, for a while and I got pretty disciplined about it. And I, uh, was, would do, I would do different apps and all this kind of shit.

And, uh, it felt good. It never, you know, I didn't, I don't know if people, if you guys have ever like experimented with it or tried it or got on a roll with it. Have you? I've experimented and not been able to get on a roll. I can fuck around for like a week sure okay so you probably experienced to some degree like you maybe feel like generally better but who knows if it's some kind of like placebo effect or it's never like

you do it and you're like whoa i feel enlightened it basically for me it like works for the next 20 minutes to an hour i'm always like wow yeah that was really nice and then by the end of the day i'm like i'm just as stressed as as i was before you know now i have less time because i was fucking saying a word for half an hour shit i missed an email so so yeah so i've had like similar you know stops and starts with it and this kind of most most recent time around i'm doing like this variation of TM, which is Transcendental Meditation. And that's like what David Lynch and a bunch of like celebrities and stuff do it. And essentially what it screws down to is it's two times a day,

20 minutes each session. You have a mantra. If you sign up through TM, you pay a bunch of money and you do like a little ceremony and then they give you your mantra. It's sign up through TM, you pay a bunch of money and you do a little ceremony, and then they give you your mantra. It's secret. You don't tell anybody. And it's basically like a nonsense word that just kind of makes a sound like ka-chong or something like that. So you just say this mantra over and over while you're having your meditative experience. So anyway, the benefit of paying and going through the whole process is that it creates this perceived value, like you're more likely to do it, you spend 1000 bucks or whatever it is. But that's prohibitive for a lot of people. And then also, you can start putting too much on

to the meditation or have expectations of what it can and should do for you. And then that can keep you from doing it. And then also, you know, twice a day can be a little bit too much of a commitment. But I was reading this by this guy, a book by this guy, and he talked about saying like meditation should be for everybody. And he said, if you just take what the basics of TM and just say the word, like just say a sound over and over again, like rum, and you just think of the mantra as something that a sound over and over again, like rum. And you just think of the mantra as something that you gently kind of tend to. You don't use the mantra to try to get, you know, like yourself completely present or try to beat away thoughts that are going to come up

and happen. Like you'll be thinking about like, oh, I'm wasting time or this is what else I have to do today or whatever. And then people would like kind of like beat it back with their mantra. And he's like, don't just let the thoughts happen. And over time, just kind of tend to your mantra while you're saying, you know, saying it over and over again, and then do it for 20 minutes and just commit to one time a day. And then if you like that, then eventually do too. And anyway, it seems really simple and like not that much of a crazy breakthrough. But I just took what this guy said and applied it. And it did.

I feel like I've been a lot more consistent with it and I've managed my expectations of what it can do for me. And I, I do feel better for having done it. And the sound that I'm making over and over again is rum. R U M rum, rum, rum,

rum. You can't give it away. You just gave it. I thought it was a secret. That's if you do the real, like the, the, the,

the woo woo TM secretive thing. Like mine, I just made up a sound, you know? Wow. Is it actually rum? Rum, yeah. Damn. It's also alcohol. And you're drinking rum as you're doing it, right?

Yeah, I've been drinking a lot of tribal drinks these days. I don't know why. I don't know if it's related or not. It does time up exactly to when I started doing this. Wait, how long have you been doing uh i would say maybe like two and a half months three months so good run and then sometimes i'll do it twice a day but i don't feel like i'm failing if i don't if i don't hit the second time you know because it's just

that one time and then it's also you know the freedom of like i don't worry about if i'm like i feel like i'm doing it wrong like there's no right or wrong to it it's also, you know, the freedom of like, I don't worry about if I'm like, I feel like I'm doing it wrong. Like there's no right or wrong to it. It's just like, I'll sit there. And then, you know, sometimes it's a shitty session. I feel like I'm crazy distracted and way out there with what I'm thinking. But when I, you know, I'll just start rumming it up, rum, rum, rum, rum, rum. And then I'm like, you know, That's such a funny word. It makes sense. But just to think about, do you think about rum when you're doing it on accident? I don't.

Like, it's now gone. You know, if you keep saying a word over and over and over again, you start to, like, lose what the word even means or what it is. So now it's, like, kind of disappeared from being, you know, rum. But people should check out Reserve Bar. That's what I thought you were going to say. I thought you were going to be like, you know what, I'll give you a word for half the price of TM. That way you can save some cash,

and it's rum. Venmo me for 30 bucks. Do it or don't. That's the move. Do it or don't. I got your word. We'll do a secret word for you. Give me a memo and

tequila all right transcendental meditation light um aaron what do you have okay okay i know it doesn't have to be about fitness but i'm gonna go the fitness route okay cool why not so i think that my unsolicited advice is if you are in a household with you and another person or multiple people or whatever, I believe that everyone should be able to squat the weight of the person that they live in a house with. Wow. Okay. So that's my unsolicited advice. That's not always possible, but I would say that the weight. So if i'm living with a girlfriend who lives who weighs you know somewhere in the triple digits i have to be able to take two uh pretty heavy dumbbells barbells and squat with them or you're talking about actually lifting her up and squatting

with her well you don't have to actually lift the person. But if you have a person and they're down, you could try. Okay. But I'm talking about just having the knowledge that if something happened to this person and you needed to get them somewhere that you can and have that strength in your body to do that and to do it in a way that won't um make it worse so that's so that's the thing that i'm like i'm learning talking with people about oh shit i pulled your head off no you know yeah yeah you do not i could totally squat my wife but if she was holding anything if she had a bag or something i i might have to take

her shoes off before i rescue or empty them because it's fucking it's bare we're barely empty the bag but i think you need to figure out if your wife can squat you that's she cannot that's that's what we get to figure out yeah that's what i want that's hard yeah because the the smaller person is smaller and then the bigger person weighs more and that's just the two bad things about trying to squat that other person yeah so you could give your give your wife a bag and see if you can i definitely can't but we're gonna start training her to be able to squat me yeah yeah because if i pass out in a fire babe i need you to be able to lift me up and carry me out fireman style over your shoulder down a flight of stairs and out the front door i did um i uh i've talked about on the show and some people know but i did go into sudden

cardiac arrest in my sleep yeah yeah about two years ago maybe and my wife had to shove my big ass out of the bed and perform cpr on me oh my And that was like a thing too of like getting, you know, like, you know, close to 200 pounds that just literally, literally dead weight in the bed. And she had to like get me out of the bed on a flat surface.

And then dude, she saved your life. Save my life. She was able to do it. She had to do it for seven, I think like seven to 10 minutes until the paramedics got there. And then they had to do the, uh,

the fucking defibrillator paddles on me yeah that's insane were you awake for any of it i don't remember any of it and i even i even like it darked out maybe two or three days before it happened too because i was in a coma i was in a coma for three days after. Yeah, I was like, holy shit. When was this? Two years ago? Yeah, it was two, maybe three years ago now. Yeah, I mean, it was crazy. Wasn't it like right at your birthday or something crazy?

It was on my fucking birthday. Yeah. Holy shit. So Friday night, I went to bed. I mean, I didn't party or anything. That was the big thing was that the people at the i went to saint jude's hospital no um saint joseph's in burbank and uh they were just waiting on a toxicology report because somebody my age they're like the guy who's doing drugs i mean there's no there's no other reason why you would go into cardiac arrest you know in yeah and do they say what

happened like do you know what happened you know it's really mysterious. So of course, got all kinds of health checkups. And they're immediately thinking like, okay, is there something going on, like blockage in your heart? Because cardiac arrest is different than a heart attack. A heart attack has to do with the plumbing. So something gets clogged or a valve stops working or whatever, and then the blood doesn't fill and release from the heart the way it should, and then that can cause cardiac arrest. Cardiac arrest on its own is electrical, so drugs could disrupt that. Anything that kind of disrupts that frequency, suffocation or any of that stuff. And so for me, it was just a complete anomaly. It was some kind of like uh

electrical anomaly they don't know why it happened but it just it did it's rare so how did your wife know that it was she heard me making weird noises in my sleep um probably like and did she know how to do she called she called 9-1-1 and the guy talked her through it because the way you do cpr now is you don't do you don't do breaths you literally just pump the person's chest do compressions yeah oh really so punky bruce lied to me because when she took cherry out of that refrigerator you gotta you gotta hold the nose you gotta put affix your lips breathe into their lungs and then that might at the time that might have been you know punk Yeah. That was fine. Holy shit.

Yeah. So she just pumped the chest the whole time. And then the fucking paramedics did, too. And they broke one of my ribs. That often happens, too. But I'll take it. Yeah. So you wake up three days later in a fucking hospital bed? Yeah.

Happy birthday to you. Yeah. I woke. Happy birthday to you. Yeah. Happy birthday. It's crazy. I woke up and I could see my. So I saw there's a bunch of. It's St. Joseph. So there's a bunch of religious iconography around.

And then the ICU nurses were speaking a different language. They were, you know, some of them were from another country and were speaking their language. And so like I heard like another language and I'm like, and then I saw my parents and I was like, what the fuck happened? Cause I don't rake your, I see my parents once a year, you know,

like, I don't know, once or twice a year or something like that. And so I was like, mom and dad here. I'm trying to think like was on vacation and something happened or what, you know, you're trying to do the math on what happened.

And then so, yeah. And then they explained everything to you and you're like to do the math on what happened. And then so, yeah. And then they explained everything to you and you're like, okay, all right. Yes. Wow. Still didn't. Thanks. Good to know. Yeah, thanks.

All right. Starting to take wires off. Yeah. Horrifying. So anyway. Yeah. So see, you need to be like, it's a crazy story but like how like how big is nancy she is six two three fifty no

you're married to a defensive yeah she's like she's five five you know 120 120 something like that yeah so significantly smaller than me but Aaron Aaron's got a whole you know Aaron's husband is paralyzed from the waist down and so yeah that's a whole but that's what that's what started me thinking about this kind of stuff is like these um you know I'm in multiple like groups that are with uh like the partner of someone with a spinal cord injury and you don't see a spinal cord injury coming you know and so a spinal cord injury coming, you know? And so all of a sudden, thankfully I was in good shape when the accident happened, but same with my husband, he was in good shape until the accident happened.

And it was this like this thing where you're like, Oh, like my husband fell out of his chair. How do we get him up? You know, how do I, do I have the strength to deadlift my husband or squat my husband you know so that's kind of got my brain on that track and then i've realized like how many people their partner needs to be like physically actually physically strong for like real life tangible things and you don't think about that before like you don't think about that normally until you have to and so i'm just like out here trying to like like tell people like please like start now before hopefully nothing ever bad really happens like you think about being strong

in terms of being hot kind of at least i do you know you're ripped you're sliced you're like yes this is fucking hot yeah but like then yeah you have to like lifting someone it like out of a chair into a tub or something or helping that's also like it's yeah it is hot but it's definitely you don't think about your strength being at least i don't think about my strength being useful i just think about it being fucking sexy yeah right right and it and it is but it is like i'm like if we can get like the mentality of it to shift just a little bit it could still be hot it's still like right it's not just vanity it's like it's you can strong and useful yeah strong and useful yeah so and and a little hot you want to be a little hot i want to be sexy still but i'm down to help someone

if they're about to die just can you take a picture of my lats when I do it and you know what if they love you they will my wife performing CPR selfie most likes she's ever gotten she went live

she went live with like a filter on like it kept like a filter on Like a filter kept coming on her face And then she put the camera on me and the filter It was like a French beret and like the Eiffel Tower In the background and stuff That makes sense You were speaking in tongues at the time so it was fine

But at least your eyes were bigger Your cheekbones were higher Your nose was smaller I had a beauty mark Wow holy shit you guys I would say that or your nose was smaller and your skin was smooth. I had a beauty mark. Little deer antlers. Wow, holy shit, you guys. I would say that your stories have inspired me to not take anything for granted, but I know I'll just sort of forget about it

and get really angry next time my Postmates arrive without the pad thai that I specifically ordered without peanuts or something. I'll sort of lose all perspective on this whole moment in time and uh i appreciate you guys sharing it with me but i wish it would make me a better person but i know it won't god that was yeah we love it yeah that was that was good i think you should be angry if you if someone gets your order wrong yes i do i stand by that i'll think like the universe is

conspiring against me and it'll send me into a days long slump you blew it Keith you're missing part of my order you've camped outside of a Thai place and just applauded every time people come and go to work

nice oh really nice is there extra limes on that fuck because whenever i specify that it never seems to arrive and i guess peanuts whether they were specified or no right i uh i had this client um that i was training for a while and he's a really successful guy and he was telling me about a friend of his he worked for mattel and a friend of his that he worked with also worked for mattel and it was i don't know if it's still going on but the guy was in some country in south america and got kidnapped and it was one of those things to where they would

kidnap high profile people and then try to get a ransom god um yeah they did a movie about it proof of life um everybody's favorite uh russell crowe movie um but uh how do you they uh and so he and he was like he said the guy never took care of himself was very overweight and um and struggling with his health and he got kidnapped and you know was very dramatic and he was you know hidden away from his family and it was horrible for his family and they managed to kind of track him down and get him and they were able to pay the ransom and get him back and so i was like wow did he did he turn it around i mean is he like a whole new lease on life and he and my client looked at me and said no he's never been heavier and i was like oh all right well i guess there's two ways to go i thought for You can tackle it either way. I thought for sure.

I was like, now the guy runs marathons and he's never wasting a moment. He's like, no, he's just double down on all his vices. He's down to Netflix and chill his life away now that he's sort of got it back. He's actually an old lease on life. He's renting on life now. Horrible interest in pain interest nothing going towards the principal

yeah i mean i can't believe he didn't lose weight when he was kidnapped is that okay to say i think they wanted to keep him fat and healthy so that if they ever had to send his family a finger or something that it was okay he's in good he's like a like a hansen gretel type situation but that's another good unsolicited advice if you're ever like hearted up for some cash i mean i don't want to say it's a good idea to kidnap someone but it seemed to have worked out for these people right they ended up getting i think everybody everybody won yeah i mean he uh you haven't seen the russell crowe movie though. I mean, Mattel has the money. I mean, I'm sure they could fucking...

It's just, it's honestly, they should be doing that anyway, just for like a more equal distribution of wealth. Right, yeah. Sometimes it takes a kidnapping to sort of create this new but better equilibrium. We've all fucking bought enough goddamn Barbies that somebody could, you know,

go towards somebody's a couple of meals, you know, if they're struggling a little bit. Why not? Goddamn Barbie. All right, let's take another break and come back. We really have to answer more. Sorry. Yes. Come on. Yes. Yes. Okay, we got it. We got it. Quick note to let y'all know that we're conducting an audience survey at gum.fm slash segments. And we want to hear from you guys to keep making content you love. Exactly. It's a survey that lets us know what you think about the ad experience. But in order to do that, we need to know a little bit more about you, our audience.

The survey is quick, easy, and free to support segments. It'll take two minutes, and you'll be helping us a lot by taking it. It's at gum.fm slash segments to fill out the audience survey. That's right. So if you've been talking about the ads somewhere else online, now is your chance to make your voice heard, folks. Take this survey, and we will read the results.

It's gum.fm slash s-e-g-m-e-n-t-s cool sorry i have to spell it out for some people yeah you do thank you to squarespace for sponsoring this episode of our show hell yeah jake you've been building on squarespace for decades at this point exactly eons it feels like yes so you know how easy it is to use their simple, intuitive drag and drop design technology? Yes, yes, yes. Easy to create, easy to sell, easy to promote. Squarespace is my all in one, first stop, one stop shop. Yeah. It's kind of funny that they have also award winning customer support because it's so intuitive that even Jake was able to figure it out.

But if you have any questions, they can figure it out for you as well. Exactly. And I did need a lot of help. I needed a lot of help. It's easy for everybody, but I still like to have my hand held. They even have AI at this point. You can update written content, product description, or email with Squarespace AI. You can even buy a domain name through Squarespace.

Exactly. Like, you know that movie Freaky Friday? Yeah. How'd you like to own FreakyFriday.com? That'd be great. Is that available? It's not available. Yeah. But how'd you like to own Freaky Tuesday?

Interesting. Freaky Tuesday. So that's when you run into each other and some parts of your personality change, but ultimately it's not a full body swap. Right. Mostly you're just concussed. Yeah. Which is new. It's kind of like having a new personality. Yeah. It's funny. I consider myself a vision lifter, which is why I recommend somebody buying visionlifters.com. Oh, vision lifters? Yeah, vision lifters with a Z. And not where you think.

And it's not biz with a Z. So if you're looking to buy a domain name for yourself or for a loved one, build a store, an online portfolio, the greatest way to do that is to head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, just use that coupon code segments to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Hell yeah. So again, you go to squarespace.com slash segments. Segments.

You save 10% off your first purchase and then use the coupon code segments when you're ready to launch that free trial. Enjoy. Thank you, Squarespace. All right, folks, we are back. Here's another one about a 22-year-old guy from New York. How about Aaron?

Do you got a 22-year-old New Yorker? Oh, Anthony? That's pretty good. Hey, Tony. Hey, Anthony. Yeah, I just watched The Sopranos, so I think that's in my brain. That'll do it. Fauci, last name?

What do you think for the last name? Just like The Sopranos, yeah. For Sopranos. Soprano. Tony Soprano writes, What up, folks? I'm a 22-year-old guy from New York. I am a new member of a gym, and I've recently been going more and more.

One thing that comes with this is seeing a lot more people, specifically ladies. I want to start off by saying that I don't think I'm a creepy guy, and I give everyone their space and let them do their own thing at the gym, and that's what I would want others to do to me. However, my question is, is there a way to talk slash flirt with people at the gym without coming across as a complete predator? Every time I want to talk to someone my conscience tells me that I'm just

interruptive and very annoying. Please help. P.S. I listen to the pod every Monday at the gym and seeing Amir's insane streak of turdies inspires me to push myself even harder, So thanks. Oh, Jake gives out awards at the end of the episode. One golden mic for podcasting excellence and one turdy for somebody that didn't do as well as the winner of the golden mic.

And 500 episodes in, he's won every single time. I'll toss you a turdy for not knowing hold up. You couldn't come up with the current phrase hold up. So that'll toss you a turdy for not knowing hold up. You couldn't come up with the current phrase hold up. That'll definitely be a turdy. And then Golden Mike-wise, he also assigns that. It feels weird to make the guests split it. I don't want to

choose favorites, so I'll just give it to me for that kind of amazing act of diplomacy. King Solomon style. He doesn't want to split the award. I'll have it which is the opposite of what king solomon ended up with the kid at the at the end of that at the parable uh okay is there any way to flirt with someone at the gym without being creepy or is it an inherently creepy place to flirt oh i'm creepy so i'll recuse myself

well i'll say i think i think it would be the same anywhere just kind of like read the room if you see like a if someone's lingering around where you're lingering like you can flirt that's okay i think just like but like start small because you know people are in a vulnerable space like you don't know how comfortable they are in a gym so you want to give them a kind of like as much of the like um a warm-up if you will as possible so that you don't overstep your bounds because it's also like you don't want to shit where you eat so you don't want to get weird quick with someone there. So take your time. Be chill, normal, cool.

Yeah. It feels like if you're going to talk to anybody, talk to them about gym-related stuff first. Yeah. You know, your surroundings, the gym. I like a chick who can squat. Yeah, never mind. Forget it.

Do you think you can, And then you go limp. You're a dummy in her arms. Sort of forced upon her a trust fall. Will you be my hero? To me, that's sexy. Congratulations on your young demo. That's exciting. A lot of...

Yeah, 20... Is that not the case with dumbbells? No, I think there's... Yeah, but it was just, it's. We got 30s probably. That's good. That's better. That's more of an alpha consumer. We'd like to reach a little bit more of an older audience brand wise,

but we'll sort of take what we can get as our audience ages into an income tax bracket. That's more monetizable. It's important. Wow. Will you fill out a form and tell me your income this year? You're flirting at the gym. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Just repeat what he's saying. You'll be fine. I'm already nervous to talk to you. Tony, you got to watch for headphones. And if people are listening to music, and you can kind of tell if somebody's like in the zone with what they're doing, you don't stay out of it. But if you're getting some good eye

contact and a smile and it comes up organic, that's really your only way in. I used to, I worked at this gym and I saw this girl that was so beautiful all the time that would come in there and train later at night. And I later found out she is a Playboy Playmate, I think Playmate of the Year. Her name's Karen McDougal. People can look her up. She ended up having bad politics, which is a bummer, but I didn't know that at the time. And she's stunningly beautiful. I swear. I promise. I didn't know. And she's gorgeous. And so I always wanted to talk to her. And I worked at the gym. So I was like, oh, maybe it's not as weird that I'm just like, hey, because I would see her every night. She was in the later crew of training. And so I was always waiting for this moment I described, the organic moment. And so she had small earbuds and I didn't realize it at the time

and so she was in there and she was training legs really hard and on the rate like on the like the satellite sound system I think like old man by Neil Young was playing like old man look at my life I'm a lot like you like just this crazy song. And so like while I was kind of stacking stuff up by her, I said, this is very inspirational music to train legs to. And so, and she was like looking straight forward and then she kind of saw that I was by her and she was like, what? And then like had her earbuds in.

And I was like, oh, nevermind, nevermind, nevermind. And she was like, no, no, no. And then like set her dumbbells down and then popped her earbuds out. And she was like, no, no, no. And then like set her dumbbells down and then popped her earbuds out. She was like, what? And I was like, oh, this song playing is very inspirational. It's a different song. I mean, it was.

Eye of the tiger. I was sunk and she couldn't have looked more bothered and rightfully so. And it was not my intention. The joke was a five maybe and then she heard it in the moment i've told erin this story before and uh and then after you know having to do the explanation and the uh the long runway and the wind up to it it got downgraded to a negative four maybe yeah wow that's tough a category two storm by the time it hit land which is her taking off her

earbuds yeah i'd be i'm like this guy i'm so paranoid i won't even like talk to people in social settings i'm like i want to err on the side of not being a creep so much that like somebody has to approach me for me to talk to them and even then i'm pretty icy at first i mean it's very like i have been hit on at the gym before and it does it is a balance of like i come i pay to come here so i can't like just like stop coming here now and it feels so it is like i understand so really just take it easy and just really overcautious. And it's smart to be overcautious because you guys pay to go to this place. You don't want them to feel trapped or weird to come back. And it's not like a bar.

It's not like a social setting where you're expecting somebody to come up and talk to you if necessary. There's no social lubricant other than the runner's high that you're getting. Which I don't know if it's real. I don't know if it's real i don't know if it's real yeah should we dispel that myth right now you won't get the the pheromones the releasing of the serotonin when you're working out really hard yeah yeah i i've never had runner's high have you had runner's high stay uh no i never feel it during but i there's times where i was like, man, I remember running and feeling good, but it's never when I start the run, I'm never like, oh, here it comes. It's more. It's maybe unrelated. Like sometimes you're happy and you're also running at the same time.

Yeah, I think that's one. Right. I also get eating high and staying in bed high. I get high occasionally whenever. Yeah. staying in bed high i get high occasionally whenever yeah i've i've been high and and i've never felt like that when when around running yeah it's a different high entirely different uh yeah jake i assume you've been sort of scrolling through pictures of karen mcdougall you started typing before he even said mcdougall you were sort of

typing into google search off i could see knowing your retina what is my yeah my screen is shared unfortunately we should say that this is no fap november uh one of our sponsors this month so no fap november sponsored our podcast that's right yes. It's a huge movement. Yeah. Absurd. It's actually NoFap Movember. Wow. Yes. We're on the same page. That's where you grow a mustache and stop masturbating for an entire calendar month.

It's a better title than the other way to say it. I don't know. Which is what? Oh, No Nut. Yeah. Oh, I don't know why I said NoFap. Yeah. Oh, this is a competing nonprofit.

Sorry. Can you not say that? Yeah, Oh. I don't know why I said nofap. Yeah. Oh, this is a competing nonprofit. Sorry. Can you not say that? Yeah, sorry. Well, because you can nut if it's from a wet dream. Yeah. As long as... That's the slight difference between nutting and fapping. It gives you...

There's a different permission structure to cumming. There's also... Yeah. There's all those kids that got allergies and stuff, too, that need to... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're allergic to almonds. every month is no nut.

That's a good tweet. Jake, write that down for me. Thank you. Write it down, yeah. Appreciate it. Sorry, I have a lot of tabs of Karen McDougal right now, so I need to close some of these out. She's wearing a MAGA hat in nearly all of them.

That's fine. But that's it, so it's great. Yeah. She's holding that up. All right, sweet. Aaron, Ryan, tell us again. tell us again dumbbells a fitness podcast yes so dumbbells right here on the head gum network people can check it out every Wednesday we we kind of um uh in our relaunch we're trying to do some different things than what we've done before so we're trying different classes We're taking suggestions from the listeners, trying different workout equipment,

different workout products and drinks and all that shit, and then giving people the goods on air. Recently, we did a pole dancing class. We had our instructor come on and talk about that. Then what else did we do, Erin? We did Dance Church. That's the episode that came out today. Is that the dancing class on YouTube where it's like this?

Sort of. It's like an all-inclusive sort of – it's kind of like free dancing, but it's not free, but it's a little less structured than like choreographed all abilities like so you can you don't have to be you don't have to know the routine going into it you can just go in there completely cold and not be a good dancer and still have fun and get a good workout i would say that's cool yeah yeah um but we're gonna go bouldering we're that's that's up next um we got what i'm about to do right now. Great. Really? Yeah. Cool. I'm excited to try.

I have really long nails right now, so I'm excited to see how that goes. It's good. It'll help you stay on the wall. Yeah, I think so. Dig in. Wolverine style. Wolverine, yeah. Yeah, we want to do, there's a bike class on the beach that we have to do, Stanger, okay?

You tell, we have to. Yes, that seems hard. We got to figure it out. Feels very elitist, but I really want to do stinger okay you tell yes we have to that seems hard we got to figure it out feels very elitist but i really want to do it yeah yeah that's the problem with like you know making this relatable the people that listen is like we're in la so it's like we're doing a malibu you know stationary bike class that j-lo's teaching so everybody should do that if they want to get in shape you know yeah but hey look we're gonna try the weird shit and we're gonna report back on it all right we're having fun we're trying to get in shape, you know? Yeah. But hey, look, we're going to try the weird shit and we're going to report back on it, all right?

We're having fun. We're trying to get people involved. And, you know, fitness can be boring, but it can also be awesome and fun. So we're trying to mix it up. I like it. Yeah. I mean, if you're listening to this podcast,

you clearly have time to waste. You should probably listen to a podcast that actually makes you a better person. And that's definitely the dumbbells. It is definitely us for sure no problems uh there just come by we'll teach you something get sliced yeah new slogan uh but you can email us at ask the dumbbells at gmail.com you can tweet at us uh instagram at us uh at the dumbbells hell yeah thank you so much good work yeah thank you uh and if you have any um ideally non-fitness related because we're not really experts but we'll take what we can get uh or theme songs our email is if i read a show at gmail.com remember that

dear lincoln opening theme song i remember it who can forget uh that's right. We got a pretty epic closing theme song. It's three minutes long. No joke. That's why I figured it was better for an outro than an intro. Yeah. Let me look up who wrote it. While I do that, Jake,

do you have any parting wisdom, closing thoughts as I scroll through and see who the hell. Yeah. The key to no fap November is to just... Oh, found it. Okay. It's from... I just muted Jake.

It's from Louis Cochran. Eight more years, Matt Pope featuring Lou Green. Okay. Alright. There you have it. Thanks so much for listening this week. we'll be back as soon as possible thank you again to ryan and aaron bless up bless up bless up guys bless up ciao for now

everybody's here we're listening to Jake and Amir Jake and Amir Jake and Amir Everybody's here We're listening to Jake and me Hey mom, hey dad, are you proud of me yet? I got a podcast, dopest podcast yet

Oh, where the content's crude as you'd expect I know you might find it quite hard to accept That your baby boy became an agony ant With a thousand day ones and no new fans And a gradual shifting of circumstance When did HeadGum become part of the plan? Here's to half a thousand day ones and no new fans And a gradual shifting of circumstance When did HeadGum become part of the plan? Here's to half a thousand helping hands And hope we answered all you asked

To get you out of your catastrophes And in cell sprees, police, custody Cause we just might be the vigilantes You want but don't need, listen and freeze It's 2013, so if I were you What would I do? I guess I'd record 500 more for you. I guess I'd record 500 more for you.

Yeah, if I were you, what would I do? I guess I'd record half a thousand more for you. Yeah, Shmuel. The pitch. The pitch. The pitch. The pitch. The pitch. The pitch. The pitch. The pitch. The pitch.

The pitch. The pitch. The pitch. The pitch. The pitch. The pitch. The pitch. The pitch.

The pitch. The pitch. The pitch. The pitch. The pitch. The pitch. The pitch. The pitch. The pitch. The pitch. The pitch. The pitch. Jake and Amir Jake and Amir

Jake and Amir Jake and Amir Jake and Amir Jake and Amir Jake and Amir Jake and Amir Jake and Amir Jake and Amir

Jake and Amir Jake and Amir Jake and Amir Jake and Amir Jake and Amir Jake and Amir Jake and Amir Jake and Amir

Jake and Amir Jake and Amir Jake and Amir Jake and Amir Jake and Amir Jake and Amir Jake and Amir Jake and Amir

Jake and Amir Jake and Amir Jake and Amir Jake and Amir Jake and Amir Jake and Amir Jake and Amir Jake and Amir

Jake and Amir Jake and Amir Jake and Amir Jake and Amir Jake and Amir Jake and Amir Jake and Amir Jake and Amir

Jake and Amir Jake and Amir Jake and Amir Jake and Amir Jake and Amir Jake and Amir Jake and Amir Jake and Amir

Jake and Amir Jake and Amir Jake and Amir Jake and Amir Jake and Amir Everybody sing Listen to Jake and Amir Jake and Amir Jake and me Everybody see Everybody see

This is Jake and me Jake and me Jake and me Jake and me For eight more years Here in my room With Jake and me That was a Hiddem Original. dumb original. comforters and blankets delivered straight to your door. How do I know this? Because Brooklinen

delivered me a quilt, sheets, pillowcases, and I love them. Plus, Brooklinen has been tested and awarded by experts, including Good Housekeeping, GQ, Wirecutter, and the hosts of We're Here to Help. So listeners can save a ton by purchasing a hardcore bundle, which includes a core sheet set, which is the thing I got, extra pillowcases, and a duvet cover. You can also mix and match. They do this stripe thing that's cool, but that's a dealer's choice. Are you ready to build your dream fall bed? Visit in-store or online at brooklinen.com. That's brooklinen.com, B-R-O-O-K-L-I-N-E-N.com.

Get 15% off your first Brooklinen order and save extra when you bundle.