Segments - 570: Wrestling

Episode Date: December 12, 2022

In this episode we discuss our pet peeves, fitness routines, and wanting to want an iPad. Advertise on If I Were You via Gumball.fm.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. The $5 meal deal at McDonald's means you get to pick between a McDouble or a McChicken. Then get a small fry, a small drink, and a four-piece McNuggets. That's a lot of McDonald's for not a lot of mcdonald's for not a lot of money get the five dollar meal deal today prices and participation may vary for a limited time only oh everybody jake will fucking change who he is on the drop of a hat with that's the golden mic for you you finally stood up for yourself holy shit yeah this feeling has to last you're talking so slow let's find another question oh you're derailing the show

this is why you've never won the award this is why i'm rescinding the award it is being revoked never in history has someone earned it and lost it in an episode i left work with one more dirty thinking how'd i let it slip and the questions made more questions staring at my plaque of shit i had won the golden mic proven all the haters wrong i had won it for a moment then i stumbled and it was gone oh that's just the way that podcasting's been Cause her wits holds all the cards and he's playing to win The odds are stacked against me but I'm never giving in I will have that GM Cause I won it before I can win it again

That was a great tune. That was really nice. I liked that a lot. That was a cover. Do you know what it was a cover of. That was really nice. I liked that a lot. That was a cover. Do you know what it was a cover of? I had no idea. No, I can't. It's on the tip of my dick.

I can't get the name off. It's so familiar, but too far away. It says Golden G-String by Miley Cyrus. That's what the email says. It's a cover of Golden G-String by Miley Cyrus. That's what the email says. It's a cover of Golden G-String. Okay, so I've actually never heard that song in my life before. Never heard of that. Yeah.

This is a Matt K, Matt Kazakos, who's a writer, a podcaster. And yeah, he has an Instagram. And yeah, he's got an instagram that's awesome threat uh yeah he looks like a talented dude so thank you matt k for um submitting that theme song that's it's not only like a theme song it was like a full fucking podcast remix yeah that was great i don't remember it's a real it's a saga at this point that's really nice i don't remember winning and having it taken away like that i don't know if you have any recollection of that um yeah of course because you're in charge of it you're the one

person committee to decide who gets the golden mic and who doesn't. Right? I remember it because it means a lot to me. And that was actually, that was a history-making moment. It surprises me, or I guess it shouldn't surprise me that you don't remember something like that. Because you're flippant. You don't give a shit. You're too flippant. You're too nonchalant.

Why don't you try being chalant about it for once because it's always nonchalance from you i like a little chalance i know you can be overwhelmed and underwhelmed but can you ever just be whelmed yeah i think name that i think even keel that's just whelmed oh shit it's from a movie yeah i. I have no idea. Clueless. That's cool. I've seen Clueless. I should have known. I should have known that you'd be plagiarizing Clueless at the top of the episode.

I'm not plagiarizing. Quoting, homage, giving thanks to. And I actually gave credit to. You're the one who wanted to power right through. Didn't understand it. Didn't feel like it was a reference at all. But it was. Yeah. And I'm citing my sources. Yeah, I didn't try to sneak it past you. Presented it to

you. Let's see if it makes it into the show notes. I bet you leave it out. I bet you leave it out. Let's start with a health check. Let's see. Three weeks ago, I got COVID. Two weeks ago, we recorded together. Last week, you had COVID. Draw whatever conclusions you want based on that. I wonder what happened. I really wonder what happened. Now... I feel healthy. I feel good. It was a quick spat of COVID. In and out. I felt healthy within, really within like three or four days. Tested negative on day five. Kept the quarantine alive for one extra day just to be safe.

That's really good. Tested negative on day six. Yeah. Yeah. And then here I am on the other side, feeling limber, feeling lithe, feeling good, feeling grand. Immune for the holidays. That's the goal. Yeah. Immune for the holidays. Immune. I think this one is actually going to take, because that was my third time getting COVID.

I feel like my immunity now is through the roof. Good for good. Maximum. Kind of like chicken pox. You can't get chicken pox twice, I think. Right. I remember as a kid, you wanted to get it out of the way early. Are kids still getting chicken pox?

Or is that like a not any? None of my friends' kids I know have chicken pox. But when I was growing up, everyone had it at least once. Yeah. I like remember when my sisters had it that like some other moms in the neighborhood were like, can I bring my kid over? Because their kids needed to get it or something. Because it's dangerous to have it as an adult. Yeah. That's a weird thing about it. But I don't know, maybe there's other immunity options for it now. But also,

we wouldn't know because we don't have toddlers. Well, I have a six-year-old and an eight-year-old. The eight-year-old... And I actually have a lot of godchildren, I should know. I should know better. Any of my godkids out there, write in and let me know if you've had chickenpox. Well, they all have shingles, I should say. All your godchildren have shingles. I feel like... I got them for Christmas, yeah. I got you chicken pox for Christmas. Go play with that lady over there with all the freckles.

She has open, sore freckles all over her body. Please, go play with her on the 19th. Do you remember taking like an oatmeal bath when you had chicken pox? I don't. Yeah. I don't remember had chicken pox? I don't. Yeah. I don't remember having chicken pox. I just remember like that was a thing. That and like lice inspections. Kids were very concerned about chicken pox and lice.

I do. I have a pretty strong recollection of feeling uncomfortable with my chicken pox. But I don't know. Memory is weird. It also could have been one thing that I like made up in my head when I was 13 that I remembered having chicken pox and now that's what I remember. Yeah.

Like I have some friends with like kids who are like now four or five now and I'm like, my earliest memory is still not this early. Everything you've experienced will be gone, baby. It's all for naught. All the sleepless nights, the four years of raising this baby into a toddler, into a child will just...

Your favorite movie, your favorite blanket, your favorite toy. It is gone. A hard reset is coming and nothing will have mattered. How was Disneyland? It seemed stressful when you took them they didn't they didn't want to go they don't remember going yeah they don't recall and they won't appreciate it they'll never say thank you because to them it never happened uh it's fun to be on the outside looking in i'm an uncle that way

all right this is if i were you the only advice pod on the web hosted by us i'm amir i am josh this one's kind of thematically relevant we asked for lightning round questions try to do some quick hits every once in a while so we hit the instagram story for some uh cues today the igs right off the bat justin the knot says how do you keep active at your age and this is something i want to talk to you about oh yeah um after my illness i felt very stiff and sore like coughing hurt my ribs and sleeping hurt my back and all this you know getting older stuff that may or may not be covet related. And so I downloaded that stretching app you recommended.

Stretch it. Stretch it. Yeah. It's useful. There's lots of videos to follow. I've followed a few of them so far. But the infrastructure is very confusing to me. There's like some like sections that I don't really know what it is. It's just less like, you've rested 90 days of your 90 day challenge. I'm like, I don't know what the hell this is, why it says I've rested 90 days. It costs $20 a month. So you think they'd be like really up to date,

up to snuff about all the weird things that is happening on the app. Yeah. I mean, I think you can use it just for finding stretching videos, loosey-goosey. You know, you're like, oh, okay, my back hurts. I'm gonna do the bendy back class. Right.

The only thing that I do, I log in and I do, like, my platinum flexibility course. Right. So, that's just where, like. That's where it says I'm zero for 90 and I don't really know. Yeah. Like, on mine it says day 90 rest day. That's what it says under platinum flexibility course that shouldn't like you've taken all 90 that is yeah like i click on it and then it says

this is a rest day and then i click on details and for all 90 it's just rest days that's i think there's something off with your 90 out of 90 days completed maybe i'm not enrolled but it's a little see what happens when you enroll does it cost money to enroll beyond getting beyond no if you if you if you are paying for the subscription you can just enroll in that class um okay i guess i have to then navigate the programs and stuff so So far, I'm just using it almost like YouTube tutorials. Right. I've done like two of them so far. Two of them in the last two days?

You're doing one a day? Yeah. Like a 20-minute stretch? What do we call it? No, it was like 11 minutes each or something, maybe 10. Nice. And it feels good? It feels good when it's happening,

but I don't know if I have felt the effects of it yet because I'm only two days deep. Yeah. Yeah. I think I honestly started to feel effects three or four days in, but that was because I was like, I was exercising and really basically never stretching. Yeah, that's what I'm doing now. And basically, to answer this guy's question, let's see who's, what's his name?

I used to go to the gym, but now I stopped going to the gym just because one of COVID and two, it's kind of boring for me to go there and just lift weights. That's not exciting for me anymore. Just in the not. So, now I like play basketball and tennis. I play games to like incentivize sweating and exercising. Right. That's good. And then you weren't stretching enough after. So, now you've added the stretch to your repertoire. Yes. I didn't stretch before. I didn't stretch after. I woke up really early. I started sprinting. My hamstrings were sore, obviously. So, I'm just going to town on a rubber band that I never use for five days out of the week. So, hopefully this app will be another way that I keep fit in my old age. I'm a big fan.

I'm a big fan of the stretch it out. I have to, you have to teach me how to use this programs then I guess. Okay. Yeah, we can, we'll connect offline. Please send me some screenshots.

What do you do to stay active in your age? I, it has to be at your age. The trifecta? Yeah. At my age, I'm surfing, I'm biking, I'm climbing still. Usually, it shifts with the season. Like right now, I'm climbing two or three days a week, whereas before I was like riding my bike two or three days a week and climbing one day a week. And also in the deep winter, I probably only surf like once a month.

But in the spring and the fall, I was surfing at least once a week. Whoa. So. Also activities though. Do you ever go to the gym and just lift and then leave? Yeah, I do that a few days a week too. I still, I like doing that, but I also like follow different workout programs or something or like an exercise that my brother will send me. So like when I go to the gym, I try to have a purpose before I go. I never just show up and I'm like,

what should I do? Yeah. Let me lift. Wake up, visualize the workout, be like, okay, I'm going to do chest today. So I'll do these three exercises and then this like high intensity finisher or something. Yeah. But I joined a CrossFit gym like last year and I still get the WOD, the workout of the day. So I just look at that pretty much every single day. And then I screenshot the ones that I like. And then when I'm going to work out,

I just go and I do the WOD. What's your least favorite exercise in CrossFit? Is it the squats? Is it the pull-ups? Is it the kettle swings? I don't like, I mean, overhead squats are really hard. I don't really like squat thruster type things. I have just like, my shoulders are tight. So I feel like I went to the gym today and I was doing squat thrusters and I feel like I could do squats for a while and I could do just shoulder press for a while,

but doing them together just makes the back of my neck feel pinched and it doesn't really feel like I'm exercising that well. It just feels like a tightness and a pinchingness in my shoulders. So, I don't like when I'm doing an exercise that feels like it's just aggravating. Painful but not in a good way. Yeah. Yeah. It was irritating. It was an irritating feeling doing that today. Yeah, that's the hard part of working out. You don't know what it's like. I'm sore. Is that good or bad? Sore could mean you're getting injured or sore can mean muscle is growing

and you're doing a great job. See, the hard part for me, like the exercising and staying active is kind of, that just like comes natural. It's like what i want to do anyway but the the dieting that's that's really hard because i'm never priorit and i never really think about it until i need to eat like i don't prioritize food in any way i don't prep food in any way and i'll like skip breakfast and then at like one and then i've like also work a little past lunch and then it's 2 p.m and i'm fam famished, and I need to get like— And you eat too much, and Jill's like, let's eat dinner at 5, and you're like, I'm stuffed.

I just had a burrito, and now I'm tired. Yeah. So if I could do better at something, I think it'd be like planning out my meals and eating throughout the day and starting with a healthy breakfast, having snacks. Yeah. I feel like if I had a lot of money, that would be my indulgence. Like, I don't need a really fancy car or a huge house, but like, can I spend $75,000 a year on a chef and just, you make every meal for me and I'll drive a Mazda. Yeah. You would even like move, you would even leave your house. So, you're a chef, you're sharing the space in your like kitchen living room with the chef. That's right. You make it so that I wake up and it's awesome to eat every meal, and then I'll drive a shitty car instead of an $80,000 a year car.

It's not a bad idea. It's a solid trade-off. All right, here's a question from Alan or Alam Darkisat or something. The first moment you guys felt comfortable working on your own business full time. And it has to be a moment. The first moment. That awkward moment when you felt comfortable working on your business full time. Maybe when we raised the first round of funding oh like five years in you mean you

weren't comfortable for the first five years yeah i mean like no no i don't think i was ever like um incredibly stressed out but there's always like that like hanging over your head like you know we have we had to make ends meet and that was like the and your head, like, you know, we have, we had to make ends meet. And that was like, and we're living like invoice to invoice. So, I think that like getting the VC cash was probably the first time that I was like, oh, great. I know that our business can't fail in the next year or two. Yeah. Yeah. I guess the boring answer is like like you're always a little bit nervous and you're always a little bit unsure what i feel like we we're good at making a life raft while

we're still on the ship like right we started the podcast while we're still doing shake in a mirror we started hegem while we still have the podcast we're never just like i never had the the entrepreneurial risk-taking atmosphere of like i sold my house and i went all in on this thing where if i'd failed i would be broke i'm like no most things fail i don't want to risk it all let's take a half measure and try to grow it from there and if it works then let's start to like okay jake and me jake and me are slowly dwindling down let's start a podcast ramp it up and now it's like we're in half equally and now we're entirely on the podcast. It's not like we're quitting Jake and me or we're starting a podcast.

We had like the IAC health insurance pretty much right up until we started the HeadGum company. And got health insurance for ourselves that way. You're going to need health insurance because one small thing costs $790,000. You have no idea until somebody else is paying for it. That'll destroy your business, getting ill without health insurance. Don't be sick and unemployed in America or you'll just sort of die and no one will care. That's our MO over here. Yeah.

Shout out to the Netherlands, by the way. Better health care, I assume, and better at soccer than us. Sorry, football. Yeah, that was sad. That was sad. Proud of our boys, though. They did the best they could with what we were given. But our guys are small and their guys are tall.

And their guys are strong and they're good at footy. And we're just sort of speedy. Yeah. They were a more mature team. They capitalized on the chances. They were clinical. They made us pay for it. And we fought with a lot of heart.

With a lot of heart. Other teams went down like we did and kind of seemed to give up. And I feel like we fought till the end. That's nice. We lost, what, seven to one? What was it, six one? No, it just felt like that, three one. Okay, let's take a break.

Thank some sponsors. Try to make us a little less nervous about running a business and then come back with more questions after these messages. Yes. Thank you to Squarespace for sponsoring this episode of our show.

Hell yeah. Jake, you've been building on Squarespace for decades at this point. Exactly. Eons, it feels like. Yes. So you know how easy it is to use their simple, intuitive, drag and drop design technology? Yes, yes, yes. Easy to create, easy to sell, easy to promote. Squarespace is my all-in-one, first stop, one-stop shop. Yeah. It's kind of funny that they have also award-winning customer support because it's so intuitive that even Jake was able to figure it out. But if you have any questions, they can figure it out for you as well.

Exactly. And I did need a lot of help. I needed a lot of help. It's easy for everybody, but I still like to have my hand held. They even have AI at this point. You can update written content, product description, or email with Squarespace AI. You can even buy a domain name through Squarespace. Exactly. Like, you know that movie Freaky Friday? Yeah. How'd you like to own FreakyFriday.com? That'd be great. Is that available? It's not available. Yeah. But how'd you like to own Freaky Tuesday? Interesting. Freaky Tuesday. So that's when like you run into each other and some parts of your personality change, but ultimately it's not a full body swap.

Right. Mostly you're just concussed. Yeah, which is new. It's kind of like having a new personality. Yeah. It's funny. I consider myself a vision lifter, which is why I recommend

somebody buying visionlifters.com. Oh, vision lifters. Yeah. Vision lifters with a Z and not where you think. And it's not biz with a Z. So if you're looking

to buy a domain name for yourself or for a loved one, build a store or an online portfolio, the greatest way to do that is to head to

squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, just use that coupon code SEGMENTS to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Hell yeah. So again, you go to Squarespace.com slash SEGMENTS.

You save 10% off your first purchase and then use the coupon code SEGMENTS when you're ready to launch that free trial. Enjoy. Thank you, Squarespace. Quick note to let y'all know that we're conducting an audience survey at gum.fm slash segments. And we want to hear from you guys to keep making content you love. Exactly.

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g-u-m dot f-m slash s-e-g-m-e-n-t-s cool sorry i have to spell it out for some people yeah you do and we're back jake do you have any Mom, I'm coming. Gross. No. No, I don't. Do you? Yeah. So, did you know, and I'm hoping you didn't, otherwise it's sort of a boring segment.

Did you know you can copy text from your phone and then hit paste on your computer and they're all synced up? So, the Zoom link you sent me, I copied on my phone and then I hit paste on your computer and they're all synced up so the zoom link you sent me i copied on my phone and then i hit paste on my computer i technically i i've utilized that before but i was as surprised as you were and i also had forgotten about it yeah so i i i was vaguely aware um it's, it's pretty cool. It's oddly convenient and kind of scary. It's like, oh, what is going on here that we don't know about that I can just seamlessly go from one to the other?

I don't know what my computer, what my phone, what my iPad knows. And I can't possibly imagine getting any computer that's not in the Apple family. I mean, this is how they get you. I mean, they had me a long, long time ago. Yeah. Do you use an iPad? No. No, I don't.

Yeah. As I always said, I want to want an iPad. Yeah. I really want to want it. Yeah. It'd be nice. They look elegant. Whenever I see someone using one on a plane,'m like oh yeah that's that's nice but

like i never i just don't use apps like that i use it on your phone yeah i like i don't need it i don't need the screen to be bigger and if our eyes get worse maybe we'll need like instagrams blown up to the size of a fucking newspaper yeah but then like i feel like i see ipads all the time with like the keyboard adapter and i'm like oh that's just that is i have a macbook air it's really small that's one step too far don't use the keyboard on an ipad right the whole point is that it's a one-stop shop. I was going to say, if somebody gifted me an iPad, I would maybe use it. And then I remembered that I was gifted an iPad and I gave it to Jill. So I don't use it.

What about WhatsApp? Are you using WhatsApp? No. I mean, I have it, but no. I have WhatsApp for some group chats and I no i have whatsapp for some like group chats and i have like i message for some group chats and then i have them coming in on my phone i have them coming on my computer sometimes i have them coming out of my ipad it's it is a little bit overwhelming to have three things constantly going on yeah yeah i it's not for me. Okay. Here's a question.

I guess we're adults now. People keep asking us a question about being adults. Cool. Victor ain't no-ho. I struggle with setting and sticking to a budget. Advice? You're going to have to take that. I was really never able to do that when i was

uh younger do you have a budget now or are you just like in general i'm trying not to spend a lot um i i yeah i don't really have a budget and i usually my default is to not spend any money but then like whenever i'm like newly into something, I'll spend frivolously. Like when I got into surfing, I wasn't like, okay, so like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna set my budget and only spend this much money on my new hobby. I was like, okay, well, I need a wetsuit. I need a leash. I need a board. I need wax and I need a surf bag. Oh, I have to buy straps for my car now. And I just like did all of that without really thinking about it. Yeah, hobbies are expensive. I mean, honestly, the saddest slash best way to save money is to

make your own food. But that's kind of a sad answer. So like, you know, going out to restaurants, which is fun. You'll be having pasta at home, which is like $2.04. But then you have to do dishes. So you're saving $30 to $50, but then you have to cook and clean. Yeah. I mean, I think one place where I can see a big savings is just like picking up your food if you're ordering out rather than doing like the Uber Eats or the Seamless or whatever. Yeah, takeout is exorbitant. Like just for me, it's $40 for like Thai food.

Yeah. And then I feel like every single time you're getting to that checkout, you're like, oh, Jesus, look at this. Look at all these extra fees. And like, that's not necessarily going to go to them. Shipping and handling. Can I just pay for one? Don't even handle it.

And then you're like, oh, well, damn, I have to save money by not tipping the delivery person. So just even if you order and you can just go out and pick it up yourself, I think that's a nice way to save money. Yeah. And then I guess in general, sticking to a budget. I guess the first step is to actually make the budget. I don't know. If you're trying to come in at under $1,000 a month or $3,000 a month or whatever the hell you have to actually come up with it. You know, I think I talked about it a while ago, but I was sending myself emails with like links of things that I wanted with the subject by question mark. And then I would snooze

it for a week. And it stopped me from doing a lot of like random online shopping that it's so easy to just click and order something because you're like you want it in the moment but sometimes like i would snooze it for a week and then this like link to shoes would come up and i'd be like oh i don't want these anymore yeah so that was helpful too it's also hard now because everything is twice as expensive as it was three years ago so yeah your budget is just kind of moot. Like if you buy sheets, it's several hundred dollars. If you buy a salad, it's $20.

And then delivery is another $20. Nothing costs less than $10 anymore, evidently. Yeah, yeah. Here's an interesting one. Would you rather, it's from Gabby Roa, would you rather get castrated or have Mike Pence be your roommate for the rest of your life? So you would either go dickless, but a non-Pence life, or have Mike Pence, former vice president, living with you, like he would just be around. For the rest of my life, does that mean, like, if I live

to be 80, that Pence will be there and he'll be, like, 112? Yeah. A nurse will just be wheeling him in and out of rooms you're happening to be in at the time. I mean, I think I would probably do the Pence move. Just because you need a dick at the end of the day. I want my dick around. Yeah. I don't need it. If he's there while you're watching a show and he's like, I'm really proud of the work we did, you'll sort of be able to tune that out eventually.

It'd be kind of interesting to talk to him when it was just us and be like, Trump wanted everyone to hang you. How do you reconcile that? Right. You can't think he's good still, right? You can't be like, I'm proud of anything we did because he wanted you dead at the end of the term, at the end of the day. Do we have any oat milk? It was your turn to go grocery shopping, Mike. Christ.

Mother was supposed to do it for me. Would it kill you to put the seat down, Pensy? I can't lift anything. I have a bad sciatic nerve. Let me massage that for you, Mike. Your dick is already cut off? What did you do? You did both?

Makes no sense. Jacob Hirschman has an interesting one. How many coins is too many to carry in your pocket at one time? I mean, any. any one i would never you wouldn't have a lucky penny if i i mean if i if i got if i paid for something and i got cash yeah i would bring those coins immediately home and take them out of my pocket be the first thing i did and then where do you go i'm not one to just throw change on the ground it wouldn't do that but yeah i wouldn't i'm not gonna like enjoy having a quarter in my pocket it doesn't do anything

anymore it doesn't spark you can't even put that in it you can't even put it in a parking meter at this stage yeah everything is honestly cash in general is starting to go away if it's going all on your phone then you won't need i do like having cash i like having especially in the city it's fun to have cash oh yeah why i don't know it's easy to just like give people cash so you got a 20 in your pocket. Who are you giving it to and why? If I bought a drink at the bodega, I would probably pay for that in cash.

Oh, really? This morning, actually, after I went to the gym, I went to the halal stand, Samley's Halal in Bedford. And I got a combo plate and I paid for it with a 20. And he gives you $13.94, loose change and crumpled ones and fives. And it's nice to have cash. It just feels good.

There are still instances where you need it and i like to have it i don't like to be like oh well i need to go to a atm yeah because it doesn't take that much room does that cart guy take cards or yeah yeah he takes cards too but you still prefer the cashness of it you're old school like that mean, sometimes when I'm in one of those like old school New York moments where I'm buying something on the street, I like giving someone cash. Actually, before my show in September in Times Square, I needed a little pick-me-up. So, I went to one of those like little magazine booths in Times Square and I got a little pick-me-up. So I went to one of those like little magazine booths in Times Square and I got a five-hour energy.

Oh, wow. And I asked if the guy took cards and he said no, but he would take Venmo. And I was like, okay, sure. So I Venmoed him $5 for this five-hour energy. $1 per hour of energy. Yeah, he gave me his name. And then two weeks ago,

he responded, bless you. It was several months later. It was seconds after I sneezed. There's no way he would know that, right? How could he possibly? Oh, there he is right now. Yeah, the cart is set up outside my house. Are you sure you don't need some more energy i'll give you ten dollars to leave i'll castrate myself if you just get out of here uh do those five hour energies work do you know do you notice feel noticeably different yeah definitely like more so than a red bull or a coffee? Maybe as much. I mean, they taste so foul that like it's kind of like an instant jolt.

And then I'm not thinking like three and a half hours later, like I'm still, I still have a little energy. It's more like I need it immediately. Right. And is it more five minute energy or does it actually last for five hours? I think it carries me through five hours for sure. Oh, wow. But I feel like I also think you only really ever need to get over the hump when it comes to energy. It's not like five hours needs to be five full hours dialed in.

It's more like I have to sit backstage for an hour and a half before I can get onto the stage. I have to wait till doors are open. I don't know, the loading is done. So that was really what it was for. Energy drinks sort of took off, but five-hour energy like never became a real thing. Like it used to be more popular than it was. I don't see a lot of people or competitors even

to five-hour energy. Yeah, yeah. I wonder why. It was always a big thing for me. I always liked five-hour energy. Yeah. Yeah. I wonder why. It was always a big thing for me. I always liked five-hour energy. Right. It's like, it like trends into like the weird pills that they give you at like gas stations where it's like multivitamins or like, it almost seems like pseudoscience more than

like an energy rockstar monster. Because at some of the bodegas, they keep it behind the counter and you have to ask them for it. It's not like, you can't just like grab it. You can get a fucking monster. Yeah. You can get a, like a quart of energy drink, a giant rockstar energy. But then it's like, if you want the tiny one, you have to, you have to humble yourself.

And a condom. The condoms are not behind the plastic, but the five-hour energy, you have to use the key to get through. Slide it up. It looks over his shoulder. Cigarettes and five-hour energy. Okay. More questions to come. Let's take another break.

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And we're back. We got one good traditional question to our email. If I were to show it, gmail.com, of course. Oh, whoa. So non-lightning round. Non-lightning round. Yeah. Cool.

I thought it would be fun to read this this is a 27 year old canadian female who will call sandra day o'connor cool uh over the past year i have a friend group that's grown really close and this group is made up of two couples me and then ted okay Okay. Ted and I are single and I've had a crush on Ted this whole time. About five months ago, we all got really drunk and I wrestled with Ted for over an hour, mostly on our living room floor. Photos to prove it.

And then she sent us some photos of them wrestling. The six of us frequently do triple dates and Ted and I are always paired up for everything. Neither of us have dated anyone else in this time. Ted's a bit older and has never been in a full-on relationship with anyone. I'm starting to think it's because he never makes a move on anyone. He's so respectful and passive. Our other friends are desperate to match us up, and I've indicated some interest to him, his friends.

But he hasn't definitively said yes to any of them, which I know is a red flag, but he also hasn't said no. These wrestling photos are so funny. Yeah, they're just wrestling in the background. It's like a lady, one of the friends taking selfies. And then in the background, you see Ted, tall, handsome guy, 27 year old Sandra Day O'Connor, handsome lady wrestling each other it's very charming does Ted like me if so how do I proceed without wrecking this friend group love the podcast from Canada feels like things are naturally progressing as they should doesn't it but it's been going for

over a year wait a year I think i was lost in the photos a year uh over the past year we've been hanging out about five months ago we all got really drunk and wrestled so it seems like it's trending but he's one of those guys that like will never make a move either because he's not interested or because he's you know has the anxiety about that kind of stuff uh-huh i've been that kind of guy where I'm like, I will just, in an effort to never fail or go for it or ruin a friendship, just never, ever, ever, ever make a move. I will die moveless with this person. Yeah.

And I'm the opposite. I've ruined several friendships by hooking up with friends. So what should she do? I think at this point, first of all, did it sound like through that email, like she really values Ted's friendship? It didn't necessarily. I think she has a crush on Ted. Yeah.

So I think I can understand the hesitation to be like, we're such good friends. I don't want to ruin it. But if it's like, I'm part of this group. I like this guy. I'm wondering why nothing's happened. I like him. Just, I say go for it. What could, what, it couldn't be that bad because at the very least, Ted would have to be like, I'm sorry i sent you the wrong messages by uh wrestling you yeah i don't know where you got that i was interested but my question is what is going forward even until at this point um i mean one you could ask Ted to hang out outside of the friend group, you know, just check in with him on the side. Just be like, what are you up to this weekend? If there's like a group text, maybe just go full on sidebar and you say, what are you doing?

A Ted, a Ted. And suggest an activity. Yeah. That's good. Yeah. And then the other one is like, if you're all together and the couple splinter off and people have had a few drinks and you're wrestling, it doesn't seem like it's that hard to go from like the rolling around on the floor to maybe a cuddle, a peck, a smooch. It happens all the time in the movies.

Yeah. Wrestling is, you know, one of the main ways that romantic interests start touching each other. One thing leads to another and then before you know it, the wrestling turns into something more sexual, sensual in nature. What would you do if you were gonna make a move?

I know what you would do as you, but like... I think that's correct is the first step is to text hey let's do something without the other six or when we're all hanging out splinter off because like it might be uncomfortable to sober start the day with a date or maybe that's what you need right to differentiate it yeah i at the very least i think we both agree that you should just go for it you have nothing to lose here i don't think you would wrestle you if you wasn't interested at all yeah

i agree you don't go from wrestling i wouldn't wrestle somebody that i didn't like um all right here's a few other lightning rounds just to get us out of here aaron kotler asked genuinely do you have a favorite quality slash pet peeve about one another so one is nice and the other one is just this one thing that you really can't stand about the other person interesting i think i feel like my it's how about you do favorite quality for me and i'll do pet right for you oh that's cool i love that it's like compliment and then i'm struggling to think of a quality open-faced compliment sandwich as they say right insult compliment and yeah i can't think of anything um it could be like something if i'm funny or smart or like interesting in any way.

Oh yeah, you're funny. Yeah, you're funny. Oh yeah. Oh yeah, you're funny. Oh yeah, like you just discovered something interesting. That was a sample. That was an example. I think my compliment is also my pet peeve.

Okay, cool. I think you're reliable and even keel. Right. And I think that's a good energy for the way that I like to work. We compliment each other well. We never, you never get me like worked up necessarily. But then the pet peeve is sometimes when I'm worked up at some kind of like outside force and I want you to be mad, you don't get mad. Yeah, I get peeved.

Keeled. You really don't. It borders on like me feeling gaslit because I'm like, why am I so upset? And Amir is not bothered. Yeah. And I'm like, I guess I get what they're trying to say. It's just, you know, everyone's trying to do what's benefiting them and we're doing the same thing and, you know, they're upset at us and we're upset at them.

Yeah, but they're trying to fuck us, Blumenfeld. They're out to get us, don't you understand? We're all just trying to fuck each other, I guess. Yeah, yeah, that's it. And Jake Steeles, you're a shoplifter. Is that safe to say? You've stolen tons of merchandise clothes food yeah you've modern day robin hood yeah yeah you'll take from the good and give to

the bad really right exactly on opposite of robin hood i guess i can say the same thing for you that i appreciate the passion and getting upset and getting emotional. But at the same time, maybe it rubs me the wrong way because it's like, you don't have to get mad about everything. You don't have to get mad about that. That's not a really big deal. You're getting upset before anything even happens. What the fuck is that supposed to mean? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?

Like I get mad at everything? Not everything. Not everything. Not everything. I'm scared of you. That's good. You're even keel of me. All right. That was a good one to end on.

All right. Fuck it. One more. A bird in the hand says, which one of you is the pickier eater? Gotta be you. I feel like it started as you, and then you've trended more adventurous and now you you've surpassed me and now i'm the pick your eater yeah yeah i when we definitely when we first met i only ever had turkey blts that's kind of yeah and i think for a long time i needed it to

be it was chicken cutlet cheddar cheese cheese, and bacon, every single sandwich. Then I became a vegetarian and it was fried eggplant and cheese sandwiches. And bacon. And I'd call it a little bacon. What, are you going to say no bacon? Are you going to tell me I can't have a pig? I said I was a vegetarian. I didn't say I didn't want bacon

I could have a hog yeah and I'm still like I know I don't like this stuff yes I'll try this mushroom yeah it tastes like mushrooms what do you want from me I'm sorry I wasn't raised to be adventurous this is who I am now

there's no changing me I don't like oysters I don't like shellfish oh that's my pet peeve about you oysters it is a cool thing to eat that I'll never indulge in yeah do you guys have chicken fingers there's something cool about going to an oyster bar and not cool if you only eat the calamari, but not the ones that are stringy, just the ones, the rings that tastes like chicken.

Yeah. Ideally, most of the squid had fallen out. So it's just the skin. It's just a fried crackling. yeah, an onion ring. Uh,

all right. Thanks for those questions. Send more, please. We're running low on theme songs and questions at ifirewshow at gmail.com. Definitely do it. We're doing our best to answer them all. And if you're ever eager, you need more of us. And I understand the impulse, the urge, the desire. We're making weekly videos on our Patreon, patreon.com slash ja. Ja.

So we're watching Jake and Amir videos, reminiscing, going down memory lane. Watched some good ones recently. Some real, real good stuff. I think we're at over 200 episodes of that. So there's a huge backlog. If you've been waiting and waiting and waiting, maybe now's the month to get into it.

I think so. Patreon.com slash JA. That's right. And thank you for listening. And thank you to Matt K for this epic theme song. That's right. And thank you for listening. And thank you to Matt K for this epic theme song. Let's hear it again on our way out. Why not?

And of course, we'll be back next week. Have a happy, happy Christmas. And it's the best one of the year. I know that was hard for you to say. Where is this darn theme song Wait for it Wait for it Here it comes Jake will fucking change who he is on the drop of a hat

That's the golden mic for you You finally stood up for yourself Holy shit Yeah This feeling has to last You're talking so slow Let's find another question Holy shit. Yeah. This feeling has to last. You're talking so slow. Let's find another question.

Oh, you're derailing the show. This is why you've never won the award. This is why I'm rescinding the award. It is being revoked. It is being revoked. Why? Never in history has someone earned it and lost it in an episode. I left work with one more dirty Thinking how'd I let it slip And the questions made more questions

Staring at my plaque of shit I had won the golden mic Proving all the haters wrong I had won it for a moment Then I stumbled and it was gone Oh, that's just

the way that podcasting's been Cause her wits holds all the cards and he's playing to win The odds are stacked against me but I'm never giving in. I will have that GM because I won it before I can win it again. That was a Hiddem Original. Hey, I'm Jake Johnson, host of the podcast, We're Here to Help.

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