Segments - 64: 0 to 100

Episode Date: February 3, 2025

In this episode we try to get on the same wavelength… and fail.Advertise on Segments via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privac...y Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a HITGUM original. I want everyone at home to know that we're still Now let's meet you two pathetic hoes Seconds I want everyone at home to know that we're still dancing, even if the video is no longer showing it. Yeah, we're not on YouTube anymore because we're in the Zoom room and we're reserving the video episodes for when we're in the same studio. We're reserving the right. Yes. That's right. But at the same time, we're still raising our hands to get into character.
Starting point is 00:01:10 We're still joyous to be with one another. I also, I went back to the original theme song so that this also felt kind of monumental, different. Right, throwback. Yes, exactly. All right, so this is a segments pod that we are recording in January. It's coming out in February, which is ostensibly the worst month of the year. Can we agree?
Starting point is 00:01:35 Yeah. I think February is the second worst month. Actually, it's got a few redeeming factors. Number one, Valentine's Day. Yeah. It's kind of a cheeky fun holiday. Not really. I know it gets a bad rap, but I think it's nice to think about love ever again. It's a hallmark. It's a hallmark holiday. It's a hallmark holiday. It's funny that it's still called a hallmark holiday because it was about selling greeting cards. Yeah. But like, do people really think about greeting cards anymore?
Starting point is 00:02:05 No, well, it's like in the NBA when they say, he posterized him. It's like, are there still posters? Yeah, no, he Instagram reeled him. And then the other one is just that it's short. So it's miserable, but it's over pretty fast. I think March is low key worse. March? March is 31 days,
Starting point is 00:02:27 but March is at least you start to get a whiff of spring. Yeah, you're actually right about that. Maybe January is worse. January's awesome. Why? God, why? Why do you think? 31 days, it's pretty cold.
Starting point is 00:02:43 It's not that cold. It marks the end of all of the holiday season, What do you think? 31 days, it's pretty cold. It's not that cold. It marks the end of all of the holiday season. Thanksgiving is over, Christmas is over. It's exciting to start a new year. It's exciting to turn a new age. Yeah, but you start on the first. So you're obsessed with your own birthday, man.
Starting point is 00:03:01 I'm not obsessed, I'm just interested because it's kind of like a fun day for me. I'm interested. I'm interested in my special day as well. I'm intrigued about me having a day to say, oh my God, let's celebrate this camera. It's a good Ruby Jade monologue. I have two birthdays a year.
Starting point is 00:03:22 It's a kid saying, I'm the only one that I am. Yeah, I've been thinking about adding a birthday. So whenever I meet someone starting now, I'll tell them it's July 18th. That way I'll have sort of two special days, one for everybody that knew me before this age and one that knew me going forward. That's good, that's good. It's like having a secret family,
Starting point is 00:03:44 but it's like more specifically having a secret birthday. Right. All right, this is segment, an audio only podcast for now. The last two episodes were in the studio. What do you guys want from us? You have video, you know what we look like. And you're coming, are you coming to New York anytime soon?
Starting point is 00:04:02 Well, I was going to in March, but now you say it's fucking sucks, sucks in March. Why don't you come for Valentine's day? Why don't I come for Hitler's birthday? In April? 420. Yeah. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:04:15 I guess that would be weird. Get some fucking Cudiverse. It's a good time to come, but a weird date to make the visit around. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I should have just said. The third or fourth week of April, that's fine. End of April, right.
Starting point is 00:04:30 Yeah. Yeah. I'll do that. It actually sounds pretty fun. Yeah. Do you have any trips planned or are you staying in New York for the time being? I know you like to get out of Dodge when it gets cold.
Starting point is 00:04:41 Last year you just came to LA for a month. I was thinking that today, as I navigated my way across the ice on my way into work because it's been so cold. It snowed like, I think it snowed like two weeks ago now. And it's just been so cold that it hasn't really melted. So it's the ugliest time of year where everything is ice
Starting point is 00:05:04 and all of the salt hasn't been washed away because there hasn't been any rain it's a great day yeah it's chalky it's gray it's bleak it's bleary and it is very very windy the real feel is in the teens to be sure i actually like to real feel a teen. Dude. What? Dude. It's audio only. They can't get me. They don't even know which one of us said it.
Starting point is 00:05:31 It's fucking legal. Jake said that. But yeah, I was thinking about how last year at this time, I just spent an entire month in Los Angeles. Yeah, you should have just done that again. It rained recently, so the air quality is slightly improved. Right, yeah, it's not like Los Angeles, let's be fair, let's be honest.
Starting point is 00:05:52 I don't think the weather in Los Angeles has been much better the last month. Well, it was 3,000 degrees two weeks ago in the middle of these fires, but I think they've been extinguished. We're getting some 70s this weekend. Come for a week. What, are you not gonna come for a week?
Starting point is 00:06:07 Yeah. We'll thaw your phone. Don't forget about the fire risk, about the red flag days. Of course, it's dry. About the big one that's inevitable. The Santa Annas are steaming. The kindling is there,
Starting point is 00:06:20 and the brush is here to be ignited. You and I, we should just move to a climate safe green zone. Like. Denver? You wanna move to Denver-ish or Boulder? Why not? That's really close.
Starting point is 00:06:36 Yeah. I guess it's also cold there, but it's like cold in a fun, crisp, outdoor, adventurous way. Yeah, exactly. You're sheltered by the by the Rocky Mountains. Rocky Mountain High Colorado. All right enough of our travel plans let's get down to brass tacks. Okay. I thought of a segment that will
Starting point is 00:06:59 potentially last 10 seconds or 10 hours. Yeah, that's kind of interesting. You're talking about a segment that will make or break us. This will either put us on the map or drive us absolutely insane. A segment so wildly in its variance, you won't even be able to know if you enjoyed it or not until after it's over. And even then you'll be left thinking, huh? But no matter what, you'll be able to say that you heard it first here, that you were part of history when we embarked on this noble pursuit of segment. My voice is trembling because we haven't yet recorded it yet.
Starting point is 00:07:44 And I'm sort of standing on the precipice, the edge of tomorrow in between yesterday and the future, wondering, holy hell, this is the exact second in human history where the idea has been hatched and has not been started yet. At this moment in time, you and I, me and you, Amir, are the only people in the world that even know about this segment. I guess that's funny.
Starting point is 00:08:11 After we utter what the segment is, it's going to sweep the nation, nay the world, by storm, and we will never be the same. I'm scared to say it now because I'm worried that the buildup won't actually lead to something that will spread so virally. It'll completely change the course of not only the tech sector of the stock market, deep seek style, but also history writ large vis-a-vis culture, fashion, art. Trump is going to tariff this podcast for the rights to this segment.
Starting point is 00:08:52 That's how important it is. How would that work? Do you know what I mean? How would that work? He will imply a 25% tariff and then escalate that to a 50% tariff if we don't sign over the rights to this segment. And he's gonna call this segment, the Gulf of America.
Starting point is 00:09:10 He's already called, he's already called something else. He can't think of other names. Okay, here's what it is. This segment is sort of based on a game that, I don't know if we've ever played when we're kind of tipsy, but I've ever told you about the game where you each have a deck of cards and you slap down a card and the game ends
Starting point is 00:09:35 when you guys slap down the same card. Yeah, I think you have told us that game. And we've played a game where we try to- We've played a game where we slap down, yeah, and it's like, oh my God, they're both the King of Spades. Oh, right, right, right. Yeah, I think we've played that game before.
Starting point is 00:09:46 Two decks of cards. And it doesn't inevitably happen every time? It doesn't have to, and that's what makes it so exciting when it does. But this version, this audio version of that game, which again, could last three seconds or three hours. Or an eternity. Yep. You're gonna count down, one, two last three seconds or three hours. Or an eternity. Yep.
Starting point is 00:10:07 You're gonna count down one, two, three, or three, two, one. And then we're both gonna say number one through 100. The goal, the game ends when we're able to say the same number. Exactly. If I was smart with statistics, I would know what the probability is of saying the same number after a hundred guesses.
Starting point is 00:10:25 I know that each individual time, the odds of us saying the same number is one in a hundred. One in a hundred, okay. Yeah, so the odds of me matching you basically are one in a hundred. If we do it a hundred times, it seems like it should happen half the time, but I don't think that's how statistics work.
Starting point is 00:10:43 Unfortunately, I'm only a B plus student. Right. And me? I'm not a student at all. So we can try it over and over. We can try a few, then take a pause, ask what we were thinking. But basically, I think, I hope it'll happen in an hour. Okay. Or less.
Starting point is 00:11:02 Or it could be much less. We don't want it to happen too soon. I think we'll find that it'll happen way, way, way far down the line. This might be a multiple episode segment. Really? I don't see this ending in February. Yes.
Starting point is 00:11:16 Yeah. I see us doing one episode a day, all sponsored by DraftKings or one of those betting sites. Yeah. Or BetterHelp. Yeah, because it will go slowly insane. And then maybe we can finish it in April when we're in the same room. For Hitler's birthday.
Starting point is 00:11:32 For Hitler's birthday. Okay. Okay. Here we go. Let's get it started. Well, you guys say one, two, three, three, two, one. I was gonna say one, two, three. And do you have a number ready? Obviously I was gonna say one, two, three, three, two, one. I was gonna say one, two, three. And do you have a number ready?
Starting point is 00:11:45 Obviously I was gonna say one, two, three, because I said one, and then you stopped me. Okay. Right? Do you have a number ready? Yeah, I do. Okay. Do you?
Starting point is 00:11:53 Yep. One, two, three, 18. 45. Okay. We're way far apart here. Let's do it again. I don't see it happening. One, two, three.
Starting point is 00:12:08 31. Damn. We're getting worse. I didn't even think it was possible. Like 45 and 18 is fine, but 32 and 91, what the fuck? The interesting thing, I already forgot that you said 45. So now you can say it again. Yeah, totally.
Starting point is 00:12:23 We're not racing numbers. In theory, we can sort of nudge each other with our, like if you kept saying 31, that could be like, I had 45. So now you can say it again. Yeah, totally. We're not racing numbers. We can sort of nudge each other with our guess. Like if you kept saying 31, that could be like, okay, now I'm gonna say 31. But I don't wanna play that game. I wanna be truly random. Oh, here's a good one.
Starting point is 00:12:37 I have a number. One, two, three, 55. Ooh! When you said 55, I knew that's what it was gonna be when you said it. This is a good number. I didn't wanna fucking count that one. Interesting thing about you saying nine,
Starting point is 00:12:50 I was actually gonna say eight really early on in the game. Oh my God. Can you imagine? So that's kind of fascinating. There's something there. Yeah. Okay. One, two, three. 72. 60.
Starting point is 00:13:05 That was the closest we've gotten. That felt interesting. Cause we were both saying this. I legit almost said 60. No cap, dead ass, I almost said 60. Dead ass? But I was like, that's two. Yeah, I was like dead ass,
Starting point is 00:13:23 but we're not ready for a round number. We're not ready for a zero. I thought we were. You did think you were. That's cool. I think that's cool. One, two, three, 23. One.
Starting point is 00:13:37 Yeah, that was my one. No more interesting numbers. I only get one one. Like that was it. Don't even bother saying one. And I'm definitely not gonna say it now. Yeah. Like forget it.
Starting point is 00:13:48 You could say one, I'm not gonna do that. Dead ass. One, two, three. Like you said, I'm, yeah, yeah. One. 60. Yeah, okay. So I didn't wanna do that. Yeah. I wanted to hit my one.
Starting point is 00:14:00 I wanted to get my one out of the way. I knew you blew your wand too early. We're essentially playing one through, you know, yeah, two through 99. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, and honestly, 99 is like rare. 100 is like, 100 on the table. 100 is on the table, yes.
Starting point is 00:14:15 And like, don't even say it now, because I'm not gonna say it now either. Yeah, I don't think we should. No. One, two, three, 86. 64, good, good, good. Now we're on the same page here. Now we're just sticking.
Starting point is 00:14:28 You thought I might say 100. I thought it was in play and I wouldn't want it to go out that way. No, me either. One, two. How are you feeling so far game wise? Do you think this is going well or are you scared that it won't end?
Starting point is 00:14:43 I guess I'm realizing how many numbers are between one and a hundred now. Like each one is a crap shoot. We are, we're stones floating through the universe and would they collide? No, probably not. No, yeah, it's throwing two baseballs in the air. The odds of them hitting each other
Starting point is 00:15:06 are seemingly one in a billion at this point. Yet, soulmates confined each other. Why can't we? One, two, three, 89. Not bad. That fucking sucked. Not bad, I don't think.
Starting point is 00:15:21 The soulmate thing right into that to be that far off really gave me a fucking innie. I have an innie inverse boner basically. I got reversed choked. I got thinned from that. My penis was frailed. Go! 1, 2, 3, 29. 15. Okay. Let's take a break.
Starting point is 00:15:47 One, two, three, one. Let's take a break. We obviously need it. And you're forcing it. I don't wanna be mad at you, but you are forcing it a little bit, so let's take a break. I'm not forcing it.
Starting point is 00:15:57 And come back. You said 15. That second segment feeling, I feel like we gotta at least get closer than that. 12 is the closest we've got. We haven't even set the same fucking decade yet. Yeah. Thank you to DraftKings
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Starting point is 00:16:57 I guess, cause it's Superbowl 59. They're giving out 59 bucks in pick six credits. I see that. Yeah. Yeah. That makes sense. So when more cash on Pick6, just download the DraftKings Pick6 app and use code segments. That's code segments for new customers to play $5
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Starting point is 00:17:34 pick six not available everywhere including New York and Ontario void where prohibited one per new customer bonus awarded as non-withdrawable pick six credits that expire in 14 days, limited time offer. See terms at pick six dot draft kings.com slash promos. Of course. Thank you to quip for sponsoring this episode of our show. Oh yeah, baby. Oh my God. There's nothing we love more than oral hygiene on this program.
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Starting point is 00:19:27 Frayed bristles are afraid bristles as in they're scary looking. That's true. That's true. So upgrade your toothbrush game at getquipquip.com slash segments. And we're back one, 2, 3, 52. Oh my god.
Starting point is 00:19:51 Something about that break kind of changed us. We were able to reset. It sounded like we said the same number for a second and then you added two. I shouldn't have. I could have just said 50. There was nothing stopping me from saying 50. Oh my God, two off. One day we'll say one number off and it'll be insane.
Starting point is 00:20:16 Yeah, I wonder if it's right now. One number off is twice as likely as saying the same exact number. So it should happen twice as often. Let's see. Right, so we should be more, we should actually be more impressed if and when that happens.
Starting point is 00:20:28 One, two, three. Sixty nine. Seventy seven. Close. And honestly, that's the last time I'll play the 69 card. Cause I was, I don't even think that's funny. I was gonna do it a little later in the episode. A little, as a cheeky nod to like,
Starting point is 00:20:43 yeah, that funny, funny number. One, two, that funny, funny number. One, two, three, 31. We are circling the same sort of area now. The first segment was like us way off. Yeah. No, we're hovering in the same orbit. We're like in different thirds of the, of the, you know,
Starting point is 00:21:05 of the, of the numbers. Okay. Okay. Let's do a, let's do like five in a row. Let's fucking boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Okay. One, two, three, 95.
Starting point is 00:21:16 25. One, two, three, 45. 39. One, two, three, 63. 61. Oh. One, two, three, sixty-one. One, two, three, eighty-eight. One, two, three, twenty. Okay, that was an interesting run.
Starting point is 00:21:37 Tell me about twenty-eight. Like, what was that? Did I say twenty-eight? I don't remember. I said 38. I was so fucking scared slash in my head. Like what if we spiked it? Yeah, I was thinking about doing my birthday and then I was like, no, it's too obvious.
Starting point is 00:21:55 Let's make it, like let's actually make it random. Yeah. Because for some reason, the fives and the zeros don't feel very random to me. They feel targeted. It's the poles. It's the middle, it's the ends. So it's-
Starting point is 00:22:12 But actually, I'm gonna try a different avenue now than we've seen before. We have not seen this number said. Everybody is curious about it. They're wondering why hasn't this number been said and which one of these two little fools will say it first? Well, it's going to be me and we'll see if Amir can follow suit. One, two, three, 11. 29. Yeah. Prime numbers are just weirder overall. You're forty threes.
Starting point is 00:22:45 You're thirty sevens like. You're getting angry. Who actually thirty sevens divisible by 19. You're seventy ones like these are not even Jersey popular Jersey numbers. Nobody's favorite number is seventy one. One, two, three, fifty. 56. Six and 56. That says something. That's fascinating.
Starting point is 00:23:07 Yeah. Yeah. I think I have to start going with my gut because once again, I thought I was gonna say 56. Are you not thinking, I'm thinking either with my gut or my ass for most things. I need to pulling the number out of my ass or I'm going with my gut.
Starting point is 00:23:21 I'm getting a little cerebral with it. I think I really am. You are. It's getting too thoughtful. You have to just throw caution to the wind. You have to be like this is- One, two, three, forty-one. Eighty-eight. Okay.
Starting point is 00:23:35 Are you looking at a keyboard or are you just pulling these numbers out of your ass? Cause a certain amount, I like at this point I feel like you're trying to fuck with me. I'm not trying to fuck with you. I'm looking. I like, at this point, I feel like you're trying to fuck with me. I'm not trying to fuck with you. I'm looking at an image. On the image with me.
Starting point is 00:23:51 One through 100. Jake's holding up a grid of every number one through 100. You can't even think, you're just staring at it. Let's see which one calls to me. Well, I was worried that I was just gonna keep on saying the same like five or six numbers. Yeah, you're fucking cheating. You have a cheat sheet. I'm not cheating. I'm able to look at this and
Starting point is 00:24:09 decide what is interesting to me. I'm a very visual person. All right, let's do three in a row, right here. Okay, one, two, three, forty-nine. Twenty-two. One, two, three, sixty-three. Ninety-five. One, two, three, seventy-four. Oh, you froze. You didn't say anything. Yeah, you froze, sorry. Okay, did you, all right, let's, if you didn't, did you hear it? I did not, but don't even say it again.
Starting point is 00:24:36 Let's not put it up to chance. Okay. One, two, three, twenty-five. What if you said eighteen when I couldn't hear you that would have been cool, but I didn't I think I said 74 okay This is it's starting to feel like a complete slash impossible Yeah, it feels like I would need to make some kind of Faustian bargain
Starting point is 00:25:05 It feels like I would need to make some kind of Faustian bargain for this to go well. I think I'm gonna have to sacrifice something or make a deal with the devil to get to the point where we're not playing this game anymore. Yeah, like it doesn't feel like I can go home. Does that make sense? Yeah, and even if we did get it at this point, I wouldn't be happy. I would just be some sort of mixture of relieved and upset with you. I'm nauseous to think about the moment where we do actually say the same number and it might be right now one two three 21 you said two. Yeah, I said two. Is there anything to me doing the countdown? Sure Sure, maybe you're doing one two three so I could do the three two one just to switch up the mojo Yeah, I like that. Let's do five in a row all right follow this lead three two one sixty four three two one forty three three two one 93 3 2 1 93. That's the second time you said a fucking singles digit that ruined it. That's true. I should just be I should be I shouldn't be afraid of the tens. I shouldn't be. I shouldn't be afraid of the ones three two one twenty two
Starting point is 00:26:27 three two one 47 oh we got the sevens correct Three two one 56 oh that was close these are I Think me counting down kind of changed the mojo potatoes around this entire thing. You think you changed the mojo when you started counting down? We didn't get one.
Starting point is 00:26:53 We didn't get one, but we felt like we were on the same wavelength. And like this pit in my stomach, this knot in my throat, this fucking tumor in my brain, it lifted when I counted down. It just, for whatever reason, I feel like I'm on anti either oxidants or depressants about this shit.
Starting point is 00:27:13 Like my chemistry's- It's because you have control issues, clearly. I needed to relinquish and ultimately take back control. Yeah, you needed to establish your dominance. Yes. You are the alpha to my beta. One, two, three, sixty-six. Seventy-eight.
Starting point is 00:27:33 One, two, three, ninety-five. Nine. One, two, three, seventy-nine. Thirty-nine. Take a beat. Let's take. 39. Take a beat. Let's take a walk. Yeah. I think you should take a fucking walk.
Starting point is 00:27:53 The door's locked. Take it out of this room. I'm suffocating. I'm breaking out in fucking halves. The walls are closing in. Spiders crawling out of my mouth. I don't wanna be here anymore. I know it's freezing because I'm recording outside,
Starting point is 00:28:10 but I'm shedding layers. I think my body is going through some sort of mental hypothermia or some shit. I'm bounding on all fours down the sidewalk. I've become half demon, half dog, man, man. Three, two, one, 11. 81. Really far.
Starting point is 00:28:36 And we're on that once. Really far away to go. Yeah. Three, two, one, 41. Three, two, one, 36. 3 2 1 41 3 2 1 6 32 3 2 1 29 I need you to stop looking at the chart of numbers at this point. I'm not always looking at the chart. Every once in a while I look down to get an idea. For inspiration I need a fucking leaping off point. I'm on chat GPT asking AI to come up with a number 1 through 100.
Starting point is 00:29:14 So for it's only the triangle. 1, 2, 3, 12, 1, 2, 3, 51. I said it. I fucking went there because I'm desperate. I'm scared and I'm desperate. What goes through your mind before you say a number? I blink, but it might as well be a seven year coma. I'm legally dead. I have a million dreams and a billion thoughts.
Starting point is 00:29:53 I swoon to the bottom of an ink black tar pit. The world, the universe expands and goes down to the size of a fucking pixel. And I am shot emerged from the abyss with a number like 60 fucking two and then all I hear on the other end is he going 12 I speak to myself as an infant The infant Amir whispers the number to me. I
Starting point is 00:30:22 Emerge shouting it like a prayer to the heavens. Oh, naked, hairless, and wet. And you say fucking 16. 16. I looked at the grid and I'd in-thor a number. I look at my iPhone and I say 42. Focus, man. That was obviously not 40 fucking two. It's something more important than that. It's
Starting point is 00:30:50 86 or some shit. You think my great grandfather died for 42? I've been whispered through generations of Blumenfelds all the way back to the first fucking homo sapien and he's told me in ancient tongues, riddles, languages that are now dead, 11. And I have to fucking hear you. The dreams of my forefathers. It's the dream of my ten fathers, okay?
Starting point is 00:31:15 Ready? Three, two, one, fifty-six. Sixteen. Let's take another break. Yeah. Yeah. Let's take a really long look in the fucking mirror. ["I'm Really Fucking Scared"]
Starting point is 00:31:36 Hey, we're back. This is a mirror. I don't know where Jake went. Like, I'm really fucking scared, he's gone. One, two, three, 44. You have to stop saying 11. It's a crutch. If you've actually been talking to your ancestors
Starting point is 00:32:01 but they're very fixated and it's time for you to break free. We need someone to plot these numbers. It's like, it would be funny. It's like, yeah, they've said the same six numbers over and over. They had no idea they've only said the same six, never the same six as each other. I fully believe that's happening.
Starting point is 00:32:21 One, two, three, 95. I think we've done 90, 95 before. Yeah. I really think I've only said a handful of numbers. Okay, wait, sorry, sorry, go. One, two, three, 15. 19. One, two, three, 26.
Starting point is 00:32:43 One, two, three, 40. I thought you were gonna say 48. I didn't even wanna say 48. I thought you were going to. I'm like, let me meet his ass in the middle. Even though that didn't work that time, I think what needs to happen now,
Starting point is 00:32:59 I'm saying the number that I want and hoping to God that it's fated that you and I say the same number, I think we need to start predicting what the other one is going to say. Give me the fucking iPhone link. I need to stare at the grid, I think. I need to get into your smooth-brained, fucking ignoramus psyche, because like I'm saying some intelligent numbers and you're saying fucking four. You said 11 three or four times. 11 is perfect.
Starting point is 00:33:32 I said it. I know it's perfect. I said it once. I was the first person to say 11. This is actually really helpful, this grid. Holy shit. All the fucking options lay before me. It's a fucking cheat sheet.
Starting point is 00:33:45 Because you couldn't think of a number. I can't believe. Holy shit, all the fucking options lay before me. It's a fucking cheat sheet. It's perfect. Because you couldn't think of a number. I can't believe. One, two, three, 41. Okay, okay. I'm overwhelmed. This has gotta be at least a thousand numbers, right? Feels like that.
Starting point is 00:34:03 It can feel like that. Oh, I have a perfect one. And I think you'll agree. Three, two, one. 59. Three, two, one. 29. You said 48 a lot.
Starting point is 00:34:21 That's actually quite enough. Let's eliminate that. All right, buddy. Yeah. Three, two, one. 85. I don't think we've said 10 yet. Good.
Starting point is 00:34:37 Three, two, one. 71. Three, two, one. 81 3 2 1 23 3 2 1 49 3 2 1 78 3 2 1
Starting point is 00:35:01 34 NINE So confident One, thirty-four. Nine. Nine. So confident. Watch this nine. One, two, three, thirty-three. Twenty-six. One, two, three, seventy-three. Ooh. That felt close.
Starting point is 00:35:24 Why'd you have to make it three? I just, I couldn't stop short. It would be a balk, it would be a pump fake, it would be a check swing. One, two, three. 55. 45. That's very close. That's very spiritually close.
Starting point is 00:35:41 Because anybody paying attention at home would know that 45 and 55 are on top of each other on the table. Just location wise we couldn't have gotten closer. two one eleven three two one sixty eight three two one eighty nine it's getting worse man i think we're trying trying to predict like i'm reason. I've tried not to get super, super mad. Like I'm- It's really hard to not think of a number that's like- If you knew what was going on in here, you'd be like, wow,
Starting point is 00:36:33 he's fucking self-regulating in a really healthy way. Cause like inside here is a fiery rage that I am not letting out. Yeah. Like my toes are tense and curled with the anger and fortitude of a man who's trying so fucking hard not to scream. Look, I've dug this pen three inches into my thigh
Starting point is 00:36:58 out of frustration. I'm pissed off too. Three, two, one, 51. Three, two, one, nine. I'm pissed off too! 31, 32, 159, 32, 17. Oh, I thought you were saying 17. There's no way giving birth is more painful than this. Because this doesn't end at like birth is over pushing a baby out or whatever the fuck like there's like an Epidural and there's like an end to it Yep, yep, and if there's a there's an existential dread
Starting point is 00:38:01 Because what if it isn't it for us and honestly worse what if it is I don't know what I'm rooting for. This might be us from now on. I might be 42 I might be 56. We are stuck here in a swirling vortex of the table of the blue and white and purple table all of the the ones, the 54, 65, 97. We should try one in a thousand next. One, two, three. 822. 722. Fuck. Okay, I'm gonna go on a run.
Starting point is 00:38:40 We're gonna go on a run, five in a row. One, two, three, 63. 35. One, two, three, 63. 35. One, two, three, 51. 36. One, two, three, 78. 89. One, two, three, seven.
Starting point is 00:38:56 24. One, two, three, 78. That was weird. I don't know what the fuck you said, but 70 Yeah, I was gonna say 70. I was gonna say 70 something and then I looked at the table It was never gonna be that and like you're trying to fuck with me now because you think it's one more time one more time This is the fuck. This is the it number one two three 37 Yeah, why does I'll be tall? This is the it number one, two, three, nine, 37.
Starting point is 00:39:25 Yeah. Why does Avital be with you? What are you talking about? Why do you have a wife that loves you? Cause you're so frustrating to deal with. I'm just trying to say, yeah. I'm just trying to look at the numbers. You're always just trying to say,
Starting point is 00:39:41 you're always just trying to say, you're just trying to say a number. Why don't you try saying the right number? Why don't you try saying the number that I'm gonna say rather than me chase you around the room? Do you know what I mean? You're reading the table, you have your eyes on the table
Starting point is 00:39:54 just like I have my eyes on the table. You know what number I might say. What would it kill you to say 54 when I say 54? Would it really aggravate you to just hit me with a 27 when I'm gonna say 27? Or you're so obstinate, you're so obtuse, you're so stubborn, you're so, I'm gonna stick to my guns,
Starting point is 00:40:13 because I need the control, because I need the control. And he's gonna follow my- Three, two, one, 19. 52. Three, two, one. 57. Three, two, one. 74.
Starting point is 00:40:31 Three, two, one. 98. What did you say? I said 88. Wow, and I went 98. That was scary. Three, two, one. 63. Three, two, one. 63.
Starting point is 00:40:47 Three, two, one. Five. 59. Three, two, one. 100. Oh! Oh! Wow!
Starting point is 00:41:00 Wow, we both felt the heat. Only you couldn't go all the way up to the top, Hurwitz. Even if it fucking killed you. If we both said 100, I feel like that's too fringy for it to really count. It's too obvious. But we'd also, that would be the first time either of us have said it. That's interesting.
Starting point is 00:41:20 Do you wanna get it this episode? Have we said every number? Someone's gotta play bingo with the grid and let us know which numbers we have avoided. I don't think we've said every number. I would guess we've each guessed like 30 or 40 with a lot of overlap. Yeah, with a lot of us repeating items at 70 several times.
Starting point is 00:41:42 Yeah, what's a, not without guessing, but what's a number do you think we haven't said yet? I'm looking at these and they all seem pretty fucking familiar. I guess we've never said 32? Maybe? Have we not? I was just thinking, I'm not sure I've said eight. Eight.
Starting point is 00:42:00 I think I've said, you said seven recently. Yeah, I did. You've definitely said 11. More than your fair share. One, two, three, 21. One, two, three, 40. 66. One, two, three, 61.
Starting point is 00:42:23 One, two, three, 61. One, two, three, 39. One, two, three, 97. One, two, three, nine. 53. One, two, three, 61. Ooh. One, two, three, 47. I don't wanna do the show with you beyond this episode.
Starting point is 00:42:49 I'm willing to see this through, but after this, professionally, you and I are done. My contract with Headgum is terminated. Do you get that? I thought we were having fun. I thought we were getting close. You thought we were having fun. I thought we were getting close. You thought we were having fun and that's part of the problem. It's actually the whole damn problem. Now I didn't even know if I want to get it. Like, I feel like this is, the journey is the joy.
Starting point is 00:43:21 Like, I don't even see a world where we do say the same number and feel anything after. At this point, it's just about, it's like scratching an itch or removing a wart. I have a phantom number slash limb. So like I feel something, but it's not there. There long gone. It's bye baby bye. Which is why I'm gonna say three, two, one, 25. 59. Three, two, one, 47. 32. Three, two, one, 69.
Starting point is 00:43:58 79. Three, two, one, 41. 11. Three, two, one, 19. 19. 321 41 321 19 19 yeah we're saying 90 321 34 321 49 49 Hmm 3 2 1 77 3 2 1 46 3 2 1
Starting point is 00:44:34 2 38 3 2 1 19 3 2 1 57 3 2 1 19, 3, 2, 1, 57, 3, 2, 1, 83, 3, 2, 1, 79, 3, 2, 1, 90, 3, 2, 1, 56, 3, 2, two, one. 56. Three, two, one. 24.
Starting point is 00:45:09 75. Three, two, one. 47. 30. Three, two, one. 80. 17. Three, two, one.
Starting point is 00:45:23 Six. 21. Three, two, one. 21. 32129. 32131. 63. 32164. If it was going to happen, that was it. Like that was our best attempt. The ship has sailed and it has fallen off the edge of the earth. That's right, the earth is flat. One, two, three, 44. It's getting further away. I feel like I'm attending my own Viking funeral. It's getting further away.
Starting point is 00:46:08 I feel like I'm attending my own Viking funeral. Like I'm on a raft drifting out towards the ice caps. They're firing flaming arrows, but they're all missing. And I'm getting further and further away, ready to sink, freeze, and die again. I will never reach Valhalla. I don't deserve it, quite frankly, because I said three, two, one. 48.
Starting point is 00:46:36 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What if three, two, one, 15, two. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What if three, two, one, 15, two. All right, give me one. One, two, three. 88.
Starting point is 00:46:53 96. One, two, three. 37. One, two, three. 41. 42. It hurts when we get that close cause I know that that won't happen again. Now we're gonna drift apart.
Starting point is 00:47:10 We've gotten one off twice, which means we deserve to hit it once. One, two, three, 84. Oh my God. Oh my God. It had to be 84. I was gonna say 83. The number between our birthdays. Oh my God. It had to be 84. I was gonna say 83. The number between our birthdays.
Starting point is 00:47:27 I changed it and I don't even know why. I'm getting a tattoo. That settles it, I'm getting a tattoo. It's gonna say Amir sucks right on my forearm in big right letters, 74. And big right letter 74. Wait, what number did you say? Wow. 84. 84.
Starting point is 00:47:54 Like kind of the perfect time of day slash time of ep. Yeah, we needed to do it. We needed this for our first audio episode to be so fucking auditorily awesome. We needed to cull all of the casual fans. If you didn't like that episode, you don't like us, unfortunately. If you don't like me at my 17,
Starting point is 00:48:24 you don't deserve me at my 84, quite frankly. Holy shit. That was bonkers, man. That was insane. I feel closer to you than I ever have. We're forged by fire, we hazed each other. And honestly, I don't even know if this is a good idea, but I kind of like, it should end on that,
Starting point is 00:48:45 but it also like, what if we get two in a row? Like that's also kind of fucking insane. It's impossible, right? There's no way. Let's ruin the episode and we'll say one, two, three, 53. Yeah, what's it gonna happen? Yeah, why did we do that? And that proves that.
Starting point is 00:49:01 Now I kind of wanna fucking get it again. Like we can't end on a- Yeah, just get that proves that. Now I kind of want to fucking get it again. Like we can't end on a- Yeah, just get that rush back. Yeah. Let's fucking run it back next week. I'm scared and excited to do it. If you've listened to this episode, congratulations. You've made history.
Starting point is 00:49:16 That's right. You're the first billion people on earth to have witnessed that. Go out and tell your friends. And if you want more of us on video, we're still on Patreon, Patreon.com slash J.A. It's true, it's true. We're still watching Jake and Amir videos.
Starting point is 00:49:33 Indeed. And yeah, you can see us there. Catch us outside. That's right. As for this podcast, segments, we'll be back next week. New men. Indeed, stronger for what we endured. A new dawn.
Starting point is 00:49:46 A new day will have begun. Thank you guys so much. And see you slash hear from you very soon. Bye. Bye. That was a HeadGum. Every week me and my guests get into it and we get down to what's really going on. I ask them what's so true to them, how they got to where they are in life, a bunch of
Starting point is 00:50:17 other questions, and we also may or may not test their general trivia knowledge. Whether it's one of my sworn enemies like Brittany Broski or Drew Fualow or my actual biological mother, Kelly, my guests and I are just after the truth. And if we find it great, and if not, no worries. So subscribe to So True on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Pocket Casts, or wherever you get your podcasts and watch video episodes on the So True with Caleb Heron YouTube channel. New episodes drop every Thursday. Love ya!

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