Segments - 87: Racist Opinions

Episode Date: July 7, 2014

In this episode we discuss love in your teens and life in your twenties. Also racism. This episode is brought to you by LootCrate.com and AVG Cleaner. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, I'm Jake Johnson, host of the podcast, We're Here to Help, but this episode right now that you are listening to is sponsored by Brooklinen. Brooklinen provides luxury bed sheets, pillows, comforters, and blankets delivered straight to your door. How do I know this? Because Brooklinen delivered me a quilt, sheets, pillowcases, and I love them. Plus, Brooklinen has been tested and awarded by experts, including Good Housekeeping, pillowcases, and I love them. Plus, Brooklinen has been tested and awarded by experts, including Good Housekeeping, GQ, Wirecutter, and the hosts of We're Here to Help.

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lootcrate.com slash ifireyou and enter code ifireyou to save 10% on any new subscription. Now, this episode was a doozy. I can't wait till you guys listen to it. Things actually got real. You're gonna love it. You're gonna hate it. You're gonna fall somewhere in between. Later, yeah. If you're dressed in an M, then pay attention. Step one, kill yourself in a Starbucks. Step two, if you knew, you gotta turn this off because we only roll with our day ones.

Step three, help me, bro. I wanna do this chick. I need some advice from the legendary Pinch. The Pinch. And Amir. They're gonna tell you what to do this is if I were you. Whoever said girls can't rap was right. What was that garbage?

What was that garbage? What was that garbage? No. I love step one, kill yourself in a Starbucks. Step two. There is no step two. You're dead. I loved it. I want to listen to more from

Anna and Sarah Thanks girls for sending it Shout out to Pinch, throw your crab claws up Your what? Throw your claws in the air Pinchy pinch It's a cinch to pinch When we do our show in London and Manchester

You should come out in a lobster costume Oh my god I want there to be a whole group of people in the front row with oh man we should get lobster claws or lobster bibs yeah yeah that's it lobster for the pinch throw the clap wait so it's wait lobster bibs but it's throw your crab claws out it's all the same i guess we should just say throw your claws out that's what it is throw your claws up because it's like lobster claws crab claws yeah yeah uh this is if i were you the only advice podcast on the entire internet he's a mirror host i'm always early so let's do it again all right well now what's the point i feel like you already

i thought you were gonna edit this oh no no it's we're keeping it yeah yeah the only podcast on the internet hosted by us and you missed it too late on that one i don't want to do this anymore the intro or ever just being with you I'm done what? no I'm sorry alright go ahead here it is this time we're gonna nail it hey this is If I Were You the only advice podcast

on the internet hosted by us he's Amir and I'm Jake no people send us emails and they're in a difficult place in their lives too

ifireyoushow at gmail.com and we read these emails and try our best to advise them out of their sticky situations. Ta-da! What is there else to say? I don't think there is a thing else to say. I think we just jump right in.

Alright, head first. Here we go. Who is this from? Oh, okay. Oh, we need a couple ladies. There's a lot of ladies on today's show. So we need three ladies. Yeah, we need ladies' names, basically. Wow, cool. And we also had lady intro.

I hope we have a lady outro. This is our Sadie Hawkins podcast. No, we don't. Okay. Shouldn't have promised. You over-promised, and I have to under-deliver. I'm sorry. So this first one this

this this lady uh who wrote this email let's have them all be first ladies oh i was thinking about that we'll call her eleanor roosevelt perfect eleanor roosevelt right and this is the first first lady the first first lady i guess that would be technically martha washington which would be the first first first i'm getting. I'm getting bored. Just go. Don't talk to me about history. Don't talk to me about math. If it has to do with school, then you're a fool. You have an awful attitude.

Yeah, well, you have an awful ratitude. You're a cool dude, dude. So you didn't go to school, so you don't know what words mean. Yeah. Don't go to school, so you don't know what words mean. Yeah. Don't need to. Hey, guys. My boyfriend of seven months and I are very much in love, but one major thing has been bothering me recently. Often when I express that I want him to do something that is important to me,

like write something in my yearbook, come to a family party, or even just take me out and pay for a meal, he rarely follows up or argues that I shouldn't want him to do something that he doesn't want to do. I don't want to force him to do anything, but I also do things I don't like a lot because I know it will make him happy. So my question is, where is the line drawn? Is it selfish to hope that he will do things just because he wants me to be happy? And to what extent is it fair to expect someone to do things they don't like for you?

Thanks for your help. Love, Martha Washington slash Eleanor Roosevelt. Oh, that question depressed me. I guess the line is, it's definitely before signing your yearbook. What does that mean? Just like, where's the line? Like, what should I reasonably expect him to do? Yeah, he can sign your yearbook.

That's not out of the realm. Just imagine him playing Xbox like, babe, I don't want to freaking sign your yearbook. Fuck, damn it. Man, you fucked me up. Relationship is about me being happy. Oh, you shithead. That's him talking on the headset. You shithead down in front, shithead.

Sorry, babe. Can you just sign my name? Can you just freaking sign my name? You don't want to make me do shit that I'm unhappy about. I'll dictate it to you. To whoever hags love me. Hags? Have a great summer.

Love me indeed. What about all that other stuff? This guy sounds like a shithead. Yeah. He shouldn't, if he doesn't want to do it, he definitely shouldn't say, stop making me do shit I don't want to do. Right.

He should just do it anyway. You shouldn't make me do things that don't make me happy. That's definitely not true in a relationship. There's an ebb and a flow of giving and taking and being sacrificial and selfless and then also accepting love in the same gracious gracious way it's not all one-sided like he never does anything that doesn't make him happy yeah that's crazy okay how about this you're gonna hate this but just to put it in a pie chart there's a hundred percent of things you do in tolerating it because i'm thinking of pie. Okay. The whole pie chart is 100%. And then there are three segments.

Stuff that you do and love. Stuff that you do and don't love. Oh, no. I lost you. You want to maximize the percentage of stuff that you both love. But then there's also going to be slices that's, oh, only she loves it or only I love it. Right. And you have to sacrifice part of your slice for some of hers.

And it also sounds like your boyfriend doesn't love some things that he should maybe love if you guys are going to be in a good relationship. Yeah, like come to a family party. Right, family party, signing your yearbook. What was the other one? Taking me out to a meal and paying for it. And I mean, I understand maybe he doesn't want to. No, he should love that too. Taking you out on a date and paying for it. And I mean, I understand maybe he doesn't want to... No, he should love that too.

Taking you out on a date and treating you well. That's something he should love. So if these are things that he doesn't love, at least do happily. It sounds like he's at the point where he's not even tolerating it, which is insane. He's putting his foot down.

I don't know how he got you into some kind of crazy dictatorship where only what he says goes and only what makes him happy is the norm. But that's not fair and you don't have to stand for it. And you should just say, okay, well, you only do what makes me happy and I'll do what makes me happy. And right now it would make me really happy to tell you to fuck yourself. No, I don't want to do that either babe so let's fuck i'm using my third veto um can someone who is concerned about yearbooks be very much in love excuse me can someone who deals with yearbooks, a.k.a. a high schooler, be very much in love?

I think when you're 16, you feel very intense emotions. And just because we, as people who are in their late 20s, early 30s, just because we can look back and be like, oh, I was foolish then. You can't look back and be like, oh, I didn't feel intensely. So yeah, I think that she can be in love, and I think that the feelings she has are quite legitimate, and I think you might think she's small,

but I actually think you're microscopic for putting that on her, for putting that on our listeners, for trying to condescend when we're supposed to be giving advice as a peer. I didn't say anything. I just asked you if high schoolers feel the same love that you do. Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

Those creatures, those rats, those little rat creatures. They're so base. And I'm an acid and they can't tolerate me. I shall annihilate thee. I do think that this isn't going to be like your last relationship. So I think you should just, I think that like if it's not making you happy right now, move on. Have a great summer. Be single.

Hags, yo. Hags. Yo, for real hags. Also, I just would like to say, just because I just said this is not going to be your last relationship, today is my parents' anniversary. So I'd like to say, happy anniversary, Mom. You're the best. I love you. Daddy, you found a good one.

You're not a good one, but you found a good one. You locked it down. And for that, I say, good job. So, for your parents' anniversary, you say, congrats, mom. You made it work. You made it last. You made a beautiful family. Not because of, but in spite of our father.

Thanks to his money. Sure. That was good. What are you talking about? That was good. It's still happening, isn't it? I'm glad that my dad's rich. Doesn't he still pay for all your shit?

Honestly, my family would fall apart if it weren't for my dad's money and my mom's love. Those are the two sides of it. Those are the two solids, the two sides. Are you taking a fucking picture of me? You look very unique right now. Oh. But they met in high school. They to prom together so yeah i think they were in love yeah it's possible anything's possible but you guys got to work your shit out yeah i would say dump this dude okay yeah it's pretty simple yeah um

next question uh we need a dude's name. Perhaps, what are the guys that marry the first ladies? President? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or a priest. Nice. Millard Fillmore writes, Hey guys, I'm 13 and I've been in a relationship for a month. I just love that his name is Millard Fillmore.

13-year-old Millard. I'm 13 and I've been in a relationship for a month and a week. At this point in my relationship, my girlfriend and I agree that we are drifting apart. What should I do? I would really appreciate your advice. Love, Millard Fillmore.

Oh, Millard. Um, shit, what do we tell him uh all right well the truth here's millard open your ears open your minds here's a heap and helpful of truth syrup firstly at age 13 there's no doubt in my mind that this is the one. This is real. And it's going to take effort. There's going to be a... You have to fight for this. You have to fight for her.

Yeah, of course you're drifting apart. You've been together for a month and a week. Yeah, but you're going to just throw away that history, Millard? No, because you can't start over at that point. You can't. What, are you going to find someone else, invest another month, another week? A relationship is a tree. You want to chop down a redwood, Millard, and plant a sapling and watch that grow?

No, there's not time. You have no time for that. Nor should you have time for that. You're invested. So what do you do now? You're drifting apart. I would say force, fight, argue your way through this rough patch regardless of how long it lasts. You guys have to reconnect.

I would consider therapy couples therapy i was gonna say couples therapy yeah because what are you gonna tell your friends how does it when you split everyone will say oh my god i thought millard and yeah and and millard's wife yeah we're the ones that we're gonna make it if they can't do it who can yeah it's the you guys been together a month and a week and it's embarrassing to break up it means you guys couldn't figure your shit out that's almost a month and a week. And it's embarrassing to break up. It means you guys couldn't figure your shit out. That's almost a month and a half. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

That's five weeks. If you can't figure your shit out in six weeks, then gee whiz, Millard. Who are you? You might die alone. Yeah. I can't see a universe. I can't imagine a universe that Millard doesn't die alone because of this. Man, we're talking about being condescending.

Have we ridiculed a 13-year-old enough yet? No. He's a teenager. He's already dead. All we did was tease him for five full minutes. He just stops listening and follows that fake advice. I'm going to fight for this. What are relationships when you're 13?

When I was 13, it was just like, I would chat with my girlfriend on IM. Yeah. And we would pass notes to each other in the hall. And at the end of the day, it was like a big deal that you would hug your girlfriend. It would be in the hallway like, oh, I have to hug Lauren. Did your school have an edict against hugs?

No. At some point, I think it was even earlier, like in fifth or sixth grade, all the cool 11 and 12-year-olds would hug at the end of recess. And it got to a point where the teachers would be like, you guys can't hug because it's like at it just feels like you're uh the guys are trying to feel the girl's boobs on their chest yeah yeah well we had my middle school was like super italian so everybody was really into kissing like both cheeks oh really yeah so it was a pretty big deal like when you said bye to your girlfriend and like when

i remember like knocking on the door of the popular crowd in eighth grade the popular italians yeah and that would just be like a family style yeah family style pasta dinner but like i went home from school one day and some and like a girl that i am he was like you didn't kiss me goodbye today and i was like oh fuck yeah and then i was like for a glorious week or two i was like kissing i was greeting and saying goodbye at school and just like all day i was like four kisses like fuck yes dude four times two eight that's eight kisses that's eight cheeks all right and then so much to me it's funny there's a i wonder there's such a correlation between that group of people and what they turned into like i was totally the guy that was too shy and afraid to do that and to hug people and you

were not and it like you can still see that today 20 years later right i'm still kissing people on the cheek i remember when going out started to be i think it was in third or maybe fifth grade where guys would start asking girls out and i was like what the fuck is going on and like boyfriend girlfriend yeah and teachers had to sit down students be like do you know what that means do you know what you can and cannot do your school was way more like involved mine we just yeah went out and that was it well your principal had a fuck den which i thought was a little much like little girls and guys yeah an experiment room where you locked themselves in there and be like, don't worry, nobody can see you, do whatever you want. Yeah, yeah. Sexual stuff goes.

Sexual stuff pros. Wow, so. We're all pro about it. I see. So what should this guy do? Well, you know, if I would, I think with the real advice. Do you break up if it's just this? Did you ever break up?

I remember I broke up with somebody in middle school because I found out she was going to dump me. And I called her up and I was like, I don't want to go out anymore. And I was like, I needed to do it first because I didn't want to be dumped. Ah, so that's good advice. But then a month or two later,

we were in music class writing notes to each other talking about how we'd broken up. And she's like, yeah, you dumped me. I was like, I did because you were going to dump me. She's like, I wasn't going to dump you. And I felt dumb. So like, I don't think you should try to avoid any social stigma like that.

I think the coolest thing you could do is have a real conversation with her and be like, hey, I feel like we're going apart. Do you feel like that too? do you do you because maybe sometimes not maybe sometimes i think occasionally people can go too far into their own heads and feel like they've grown apart while your girlfriend is just like happily going along thinking you guys are connected so if you say we've drifted apart she'll say i agree and confirm your fears or she'll say i feel close to you still let's let's work through this but if they both feel

like they're drifting apart maybe they shouldn't be together well but yeah that's true and maybe if they're like we're drifting apart and he says do you want to try to reconnect you guys want do you want to try to get close together again? Then you guys can talk and feel better about your relationship. Or you can say, you can agree to split amicably. But the coolest thing you can do is have a nice open conversation with her rather than stinking all these crazy thoughts and not letting her in. What about, I think the coolest thing you could do is when you're having this conversation, have your friend take a a what's it called when you low bridge someone like like kneel down behind her uh-huh so what you say like i think i don't know if we're drifting apart or if you're just falling apart and then you push her down yeah well i was gonna say or ripping a fart and then the kid underneath uh just lets

one fucking rip like a real great a like like a like a scorcher and then you shove her you shove her and she she she she feels the sting and it hurts and it smells because she stinks don't you get it she stinks mod you didn't have a girlfriend in third grade. In third grade, all I used to do is sniff glue through a tube and play Rubik's Cube. Eminem. Yeah. Nice, dude. Nice.

22 years later, I'm as rude as you. Scheming on the babe with the biggest boobs. Are you okay? That's enough. All right. Wait, was that the third question or the second? That was the second. All right. We, was that the third question or the second? That was the second. All right.

We got one more. Till the break of Dom. Baby got it going on. Yeah. All right. Oh, we need another lady. Michelle Obama. Michelle Obama?

Michelle Obama writes, Hey guys, I'm in a great relationship with my boyfriend of six months. We're both relaxed, sociable people who like watching TV as much as we like trekking through the outdoors. So far, so good. Our relationship has gone very smoothly, except that he tends to be prejudiced towards certain people. FYI, in Canada, just like the States, we have First Nations people, along with a multitude of other nationalities. I realize stereotypes are commonplace, and people usually use them in a joking manner, but my boyfriend seems to truly believe some of them, and often his opinions of certain groups can be cruel. For example, that aboriginals are lazy and collect government money,

and that the percentage of Muslim extremists is higher than any other religion. He's such a mild-mannered guy and so lovely to me, so why does he have these racist opinions? He is in the army and grew up in the conservative West, though as a person who is an ally of all humans, how should I deal with our differences? I don't want to force my own opinion and seem preachy and all, but I also won't stand for the rude generalizations about different cultures. But I really love this man. Help, what would y'all do? There's nothing laid back. Oh, we're both laid back people.

He's a racist. That's the worst thing. We're so laid back. We love watching TV, trekking through the woods. And he's racist. He hates groups of people for no reason. He's pretty chill and fun-loving. He's mild-mannered but has bad opinions.

He tends to sort of snap-judge people, minorities specifically, people of different color, and thinks negatively about them. However, he is very chillaxed about most things. I don't even like her language. I realize stereotypes are commonplace and usually used in a joking manner. Like, even that, no. But she's right.

Stereotypes are commonplace. I don't think stereotypes are that commonplace. Yeah, I think so. No. You know about them. Yeah, but that doesn't make them commonplace. I think they're faux pas. I think they're uncommon enough that when you have them and when you make mean jokes and you have actual weird opinions about other groups of people that are negative, I think you're an outcast and I think you're a loser. I think that the tables have turned in that direction.

She's being aboriginal about this. Absolutely, she's being lazy. And I wouldn't doubt if she was collecting government money. Jesus to the aboriginals how unoriginal i think you should talk to this guy what would you what would you do if you're i guess you wouldn't date a racist you would never even start a relationship with a racist yeah no that's a deal breaker racism is the worst one yes yeah 100 i think he's great but racist is not a real there's got to be a zero tolerance rule on that you can't be like he's cool that like he's cool but he's racist nobody says that right he's not cool and he's racist but he's not cool because he's racist but if he's not cool because he's racist. But if he's got everything else going on, maybe you can

get in there and make him change his opinions. Yeah, you know, why don't you... Like, if you liked everything else about him. I'd be super direct and tell him exactly what's up and tell him that's not gonna fly. And maybe I'll change his mind on this stuff.

Yeah. Or... Dump him? Be racist too? Oh! That way you have. Or, dump them. Be racist too? Oh! That way you have another thing to talk about. Oh, that's an option! Yeah, of course. We're laying it all on the table.

This podcast is called Every Option. Dump them, talk to them, be racist too. More options. Turn into a bird, fly into the sun. Turn into a fish fish swim into the sea that's another option turn into a bird swim into the sea turn into a fish fly to the moon

uh these are literally endless this is a podcast that has no end uh more options more options turn a sheep. Fly into the sea. Yeah, I don't know, man. You gotta talk to him about his racism, I guess. Talk to him about his racism. Barring that sheep moon. I dated that neo-Nazi, remember? Yes, he was cool.

Why couldn't it be a girl? What's wrong with being gay? He's sexist.'m not sexist you're you're a homophobe you we all have prejudices they're so commonplace i feel like um all right break time break time let's chill till the next episode actually boom so we'll just relax until we release the next episode which is in four days. That's so relaxing. Oh, first of all, there's going to be a Thursday episode this week. That's cool. Co-starring your sister. So that's a little teaser right there. My little sister. Secondly, thank you to DraftKings for sponsoring this episode of our show. Hey-o, DraftKings.

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That's right. I grew up a Raiders fan. And now I'm just a fan of the league in general. But I still have- You're a fan of gambling. Enough. Yes, of course. You're a fan of gambling in general.

Yes. And I do have an affinity for the silver and black. So if you like football as much as me which is not likely because i do know a lot like do you know what a nickelback uh does in a cover two defense or like do you know what a play action passes like these are like some advanced things that i know that you wouldn't i basically know run and hail mary you actually know both of those yeah running is when you run and then hail mary is when you chuck it right damn i think you should download the draft kings pick six out select between two

and i have a sure thing for you to put some money on you select between two and six players and choose if they'll have more or less of a stat. It's that simple. And for all first-time pick six players, check this out. New customers play $5 on your first pick set and get $50 in pick six credits. Woza. Very cool. Download the new DraftKings pick six app now and use code segments. That's code segments for new customers to play $5 on your first pick set and get $50 in pick six credits only on DraftKings pick six. The crown is yours. There you go. Anything to add? Yeah, I was going

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See terms at pick6.draftkings.com slash. Right. Promos. There it is. Thanks, DraftKings. Quick note to let y'all know that we're conducting an audience survey at gum.fm slash segments. And we want to hear from you guys to keep making content you love. Exactly. It's a survey that lets us know what you think about the ad experience. But in order to do that, we need to know a little bit more about you, our audience. The survey is quick, easy, and free to support segments. It'll take two minutes, and you'll be helping us a lot by taking it.

It's at gum.fm slash segments to fill out the audience survey. That's right. So if you've been talking about the ad somewhere else online, now is your chance to make your voice heard, folks. Take this survey and we will read the results. It's G-U-M dot F-M slash S-E-G-M-E-N-T-S. Cool. Sorry, I have to spell it out for some people. Yeah, you do. And now let me read the ad we were supposed to say oh shoot yeah no that was just a product that i just happened to really enjoy okay here we go uh swastikas i was gonna say swastikas really yeah why because we were talking about racism before condemning it and then i thought a funny thing

would be to say we were sponsored by swastikas and does that think that's why you made the joke isn't it yeah but you're just gonna say it i said it i was funny and i was i make a funny joke you're like i was gonna say it were you gonna say it or were you just taking credit for my shit what i'm serious i was trying to show you that we're connected and and with one mind oh that was cool oh were you or were you going to be like oh whatever if amir says something funny i'll say that i i thought of it too i wasn't so that you can co-opt my comedy i wasn't thinking and use it as your own i didn't mean it that's bullshit i'm sorry that's bullshit i'm. How did you mean it? I meant it like I said I meant it.

I think you meant to steal it. Do you agree with me? I really don't. Can you say that you do? Can you say that I was going to steal whatever joke you thought of if I thought it was funny? Maybe if you feel like this way. No, no, don't say it. Don't say like I'm sorry if I offended you. I wanted to steal the joke.

I wanted the credit. Holy shit. I couldn't have ever in a million years thought of swastikas i thought it was gold i chuckled i chortled and then i decided it was mine i deserved it i earned it and i stole it from you you loser i am i am one uh we're going to london and now we're also going to Manchester. For the first time in a long time, we're going to Manchester. United on mana.

Going on. Shit, alright, start over. For, okay. Hey, yo. We're going to the Chester, man. We're going to buy a fan, cause it's really hot and humid in the summer. We're going on Tuesday, September 8th. It's going to be really great. No, it's actually the 9th.

Tuesday, September 9th. Tuesday, September 9th. Oh, no. What rhymes with 9th, Jake? Thoughts? Yo, what rhymes with 9th? A million things. Like the word I just made up called plinth.

Plinth rhymes with 9th. So does the word steinth. Like the word I just made up called plinth. Plinth rhymes with ninth. So does the word steinth. It's another word I made up. That means titty. Do any real words rhyme with ninth? Oh, yeah, dude. Check it. Hit me.

What? What? What words rhyme with ninth? What words rhyme with ninth? Lots of little words. For instance, they are... Glynthe. It's a Spanish word.

It's not. Yes, it is. Glynthe? Glynthe. No. There's no TH in Spanish. It's a Norwegian word. We're going to Manchester on Tuesday, September 9th at the Lowry.

Smaller shows, so grab your ticket. Once again, it's like that early show is the sketch and stand-up show that we do with Streeter, and the late show is a live podcast. Still tickets available for London, and now we added a date in Manchester. So all you Northerners don't have to come all the way down to London. Boom, baby. I guess you're welcome. Yeah.

I feel like. You're welcome? Do you still say that? Okay, you're welcome. Should we get to the last question? Okay. We need a dude. A doody.

A doody. We need a little poopy. I'll think of it. Oh, come on, dude. I want to unplug your microphone. Please don't. I need a voice otherwise i fear this podcast will be too lopsided um the most forgettable president you ready for this try to name one more obscure than this guy right here ready

franklin pierce very very forget. That guy ran our country. Wow. You couldn't even fucking think of him in a million years. When was it? 1964, if you can imagine. What? Yeah, it was in between Kennedy and Nixon. Not so. He got us out of Vietnam. Here we go. Hey guys, you seem to have a pretty laid back lifestyle where you seem to be having fun with what you do and be able to work on something that you're passionate about. So as someone who's about to graduate college, what would you tell them on how to take advantage of life in your 20s?

How would you describe what your personal journey was like and if there are tips or things to keep in mind as we go through our 20s. I have had internships in various corporate environments and it just seems depressing to give up the freedom slash carefree attitude one generally has during college. I have also not found anything yet that I'm truly passionate about. So in terms of the generic follow your passion advice, at this point, I don't have anything yet that I'm truly passionate about. So in terms of the generic follow your passion advice, at this point, I don't have anything like that. I don't know how to best

phrase this question, so you can edit it however you'd like. Apologies for the run-on sentences. Thank you, Franklin Pierce. I do love using presidential names because it's like, help me, I need advice. A guy who became the president who didn't need any help from us ever. Hmm. No passions, eh? No passion. Sounds like step one is to find it.

I would say so. Yeah. Step two is to pursue it. Although you can't really do that for money. I feel like the common theme is doing what you like for free long enough, and if you're good, you start getting paid for it. Yeah. But then you run into the situation where you try it a lot.

What was your journey like? I was very lucky, so it's not entirely applicable, but my journey was like, oh, in college when I was 19, I liked college humor. So I was like, can I write for you guys? I emailed Ricky, and I asked if I could write for them. And I guess it's this advice because for three years I would write articles, not for money, but just to, like, you know, try to become better. And hopefully in one day they would be able to pay me.

So after three years of writing articles for free both for myself and for other websites in addition to college humor when college humor did get money they wanted to hire me even though it wasn't a lot of money but it was still getting paid to do what i liked right so. But in that way, I was passionate about something, which was writing jokes or writing comedy. Yeah. What was your early 20s journey like? Very similar to yours. I also read college humor, liked college humor,

started writing for college humor, became an intern at college humor. For free? For free. Didn't for College Humor. Became an intern at College Humor. For free? For free. Didn't get paid. Right. So how did you pay rent when you moved to the Upper East Side at age 22? Well, I had a little bit of money saved up from working in the ice cream store.

Right. My sister, Hannah, did the coolest thing she's ever done for me. Oh, that standing backflip. Yeah. That was insane. Standing backflip. that was insane backflip and then wrote me um a security deposit a rent check for my first month oh in that apartment she paid for my rent and then i did you ask her no she just like i i was trying to move to the

city i was trying to save up money and she like was helping me find apartments and we had found like a really good deal. And, but my dad was like, uh, not to like, he was right. Cause I had like failed out of college and I had like failed at everything I tried to do. So he was like,

I don't want to pay for you to live in New York city right now. Why don't you keep this internship and commute and prove to me that you, but I had been doing that for like a month. And it was just getting really, really hard. So my sister was like, I'll pay for his first month's rent. And then I started working in like... I was like a host at a restaurant on the Upper East Side. Really?

Yeah. When you were working at College Humor? Yeah. You were a host at a restaurant? The Upper East Side. What a loser. I didn't realize you were working at College Humor? Yeah. You were a host at a restaurant? The Upper East Side. What a loser. I didn't realize you were such a loser. But I only had to do that for like a month,

and then Streeter and Ricky started paying me. Which is a common route, which is like doing a job you don't necessarily love to have the financial freedom to do what you do love on the side for free. Right, which is something I was thinking of as you're reading that question. Because it's one thing to say,

I wasn't passionate about everything I was doing as an intern at CollegeHumor. You have a very small passion. You were saying you were just writing jokes. And after a while, I became passionate about Jake and Amir videos. But we only did that for like an hour a day if that at that time right it's not like you were working 12 hour days on jake and amir videos right so for a while i was you i think you have to dedicate a lot of time to things you're not crazy about and then a little bit of

time to what you're passionate about and i think in terms of finding your passion, you should look at what you do in your spare time and your hobbies. And what if it's just video games? Then explore that universe. Be like, hey, maybe I could go into marketing for video games. Maybe I could program video games. Maybe I could design video game boxes.

Maybe I could invent video games. Maybe I could go on tour with gamer conventions and help set up the events. And then my life is surrounded by video games all the time. Maybe I could just become tour with gamer conventions and help set up the events, and then my life is surrounded by video games all the time. Maybe I could just become the best Halo player ever and win tournaments. But what if your hobby or your passion is something lame, like being a chef or helping kids? Then I think you're fucked.

I think you should try to play video games more. Yeah, and then do that thing that you were talking about, inventing video games and designing video game boxes. There's so many jobs out there and people just need to be creative and try to think of... Yeah, when people tell me what jobs they have, when I talk to normal people who have real jobs, it's always jobs that I never even thought of. What do you do? Oh, I work at this endowment at this school and i have to do this and this i'm like oh yeah i guess that job has to exist somebody has to do it yeah or like hey what do you do oh i'm uh i work at a hospital but i'm not like a doctor i'm like i do this and i sell this

schedule people i help schedule when doctors come in right oh right of course i would need that yeah so find a job that doesn't make you miserable, or even if it does, hopefully you make a lot of money, or enough money, to become financially free enough on the nights and weekends to do or explore what you're passionate about.

And if you're good at it, then somebody will find a way to pay you for it eventually, I feel like. Boom. Boom. Okay, that's it. We're out of time. We're more than out of time. Thanks so much for emailing, everyone.

The email address, again, if you have your own questions, is ifirayoushow at gmail.com. Still opening and closing every episode with an original theme song. The first one was from someone named Enna and Sarah, and this last one is from someone named Sam, who sort of did a... Is it still a montage if it's audio? It's a medley, I think. Yeah, a medley of every time we had a guest on the show.

So thanks, Sam, for that. Thanks for you guys, and we'll be back on Thursday. Thanks so much. Bye. This is If I Were You, the only advice podcast on the Internet hosted by us. I'm Amir. And I'm Jake. So we're here today with is here. Hey, Josh Rubin in the hand. We're back with Ben. And I'm Coach Brown. Hey, Thomas Middleditch is here. Josh Rubin in the hand.

Ow. Rose McGyver. Jeff Rosenberg. Dave Rosenberg. And Rick Fox. And also Kyle Fox. Thanks for insulting his name in Dennis. Ifournewshow at gmail.com.

That was short, man. Hey, what's going on? I'm Brody Jenner. I am Dr. Mike Dow. We are inviting you guys to come check us out. It's the Brody Jenner Podcast with Dr. Mike Dow. It is a fresh take on life's biggest dilemma, love. You got Dr. Mike Dow who's a couples therapist.

You got me. I'm not the best, but I do a pretty good job. We'll have a different celebrity guest each week joining the conversation with us. We are serving nothing but love and relationships on the Brody Jenner Podcast. Go download it every Thursday at podcastone.com. That is podcastone.com. With the $5 meal deal at McDonald's,

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