Segments - 88: Top 100

Episode Date: July 28, 2025

In this episode we discuss popular websites, popular tourist attractions, and unpopular heights.Advertise on Segments via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum original. Jake and a mere two Jews that you can't forget. In 2010, they were big on the internet. But then three failed pilots, two rejected movie scripts. Won't last it's effort to try and stop their career from going to shit. Another podcast Each app different from the last It's the Swiss army nightbook shows

Now let's meet you two pathetic hosts Let's begin Jump right in Segment one You want to make a small talk Let's not waste any pleasantries Have it going Like that's filler, that's

fluff well it's kind of getting in the mood getting in the zone to like improvise and enjoy our time together i feel like i'm really enjoying our time together and i don't even have to learn about shit to get into the zone i'm basically always ready to go you're being really rude to me i'm being funny let's just get to the fucking segment let's get to the meat of this thing or it's you're stolen i'm interested in the whole hog bones and all why For me, it's not about trimming the fat. It's about eating the rat. I'm going to lower the beast into my mouth, Heathcliff style by its tail, and then pull out a skeleton.

Nice. Watch me cook, get out of my way, and hit me with your best thoughts. Fire away. Now. Watch me whip. Whip. Watch me, nay, nay. Watch me nae.

Okay. Well, I wanted to check in about your dog. who ate chocolate and you had to bring her to the bed. Phoebe the new dog ate seven grams of dark chocolate, which animal toxicity, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know it was seven grams. You, like, knew exactly what she ate? I actually don't know it's seven grams.

We just had 12 individually wrapped chocolate squares. Sorry, when I say we, I mean Avital. We left it on the couch. Sorry when I say we, I mean Avital. And when Avetal noticed Phoebe going to town on the couch, seven of them had been chewed through rappers and all and consumed chocolate all over the couch. Phoebe had never been happier.

You have to call a number for animal toxicity, which is like a U.S. wide thing. They charge you $95 just to do the math and give you a case number so that you can take your dog to the vet. Keep in mind this is 1130 p.m. So I get to the emergency room, a.k.a. urgent care for this little girl who's never been happier. Give her away. They have to force. She's the happy as a little clam. She is given medicine to make her induce vomiting. The faster the better. An entire diarrhea-filled diaper worth of chocolate came out of her. And then they sent us on our merry way with the grand total bill. drum roll please, $565. And that did include a subcutaneous fluid.

Not to mention the chocolate loss. I don't know how much those costs, but seven pieces can't be cheap. Not if it's Belgian. Those were coming out of her college fund, which we have for no particular reason. I set up a tax haven for her. Did you, aside from naming Avital on this podcast, Did you guilt her at all during the process, or did you figure she felt bad enough? She did feel bad enough, and I didn't guilt her on purpose, though I wasn't as reassuringly joyous in my dough.

It's totally cool that I would have been maybe seven years ago. I was more like, yeah, all right, let's go. Well, you should can't have the chocolate out. I guess we should start getting licorish instead if you're going to eat it on the couch and forget it. If I like dog poison as a snack, I wouldn't eat it in the house, I think. Would you? Well, I know the answer because you did. Chocolate is debatable, I guess.

Like, grapes are more dangerous, though chocolate is winning the PR battle because everyone knows about chocolate. Not anybody knows about grapes, really. You know what's interesting? I was going to mention this story when we first got dingo as a puppy. Jill was like out to dinner and I'd done a whole bunch of like house chores. I had just ordered food. I was like really looking forward to having a nice mellow night.

And I was like opening the fridge. I dropped a grape. Dingo grabbed it, took it into the living room. I was like, that's cute. And then I was like, wonder if dogs are allowed to have grapes. And I Google, can dogs eat grapes? Like, nope, kidney failure. Dog could die.

I was like, this ruined my whole entire evening. So then you went to the place? David did the thing? I called. and they were, I was like, it was just one grape. They were, like, asking about the size of him. And the lady was like, it's probably okay, keep an eye on it. Yeah.

And then I went over to the couch and I found the grape. Oh, so he didn't even consume the grape. He just kind of picked it up, brought it over, batted it, realized he didn't want it. If it was chocolate, who knows. Have you ever done an ER emergency room late night visit with Dingo? No, never, never ER, never late night. We've had, like, he's gotten, like, rashes or ear infections. We had to, like, take him in quickly, but never, like, life or death.

Holy shit. Yeah, we've got to get this guy in. Yeah, no. Yeah. It's a scary place to be that urgent care of an animal hospital at midnight, because nothing good is happening. Did Luke ever eat chocolate? Yes, he did. Thank you for asking.

Okay. But they tried to induce vomiting for him, and it didn't take. So he didn't even puke. It was just the $500 for the attack. tempt that time. But some dogs can handle it. There was also the time that he ate the chicken bones, which is also supposed to be bad. Yep, no, it was the chicken bone out of the trash, also supposed to be bad.

Everything can be bad, but not everything is 100% bad. Well, it always depends on the size of a dog, and you have two very small dogs. Yeah, the smaller the package, the longer they live, but the more shit they can get into for the 15 years that they're alive. Yeah. So did you, were you able to discipline Phoebe or Avital? Well, when I got home, I rubbed Avital into the cushion so that she could learn her lesson. But I guess you're not supposed to do that. It's a bad girl, because now I'm divorced.

Now you have to positively reinforce her. So now it's like whenever Avital's eating a good snack, I'll like give her a treat. Yeah, yeah. The treat is always a little square of chocolate. Well, the thing is the dog does, has no idea. Like Phoebe would return back at 3 a.m. and just continue to eat the chocolate had she like been given the opportunity. Right. There's no lesson larger.

No, of course not. It would take months of training to get her not to eat chocolate. And with maybe you're going to go with what you've got. You're not trying to change that dog. No, we have to just ultimately, she's training us. So she's teaching us when to give her food and like we, I have to sit down before I give her turkey. It really doesn't make sense at all. I'm like wrapped around her fucking finger.

I rolled over and played dead for two hours. You sit down before you give her turkey? She tells me to sit. She tells me to sit and I have to I see She tells you paw She uses a clicker Do you realize how fucking emasculating that is

A 12 pound Yorkie poo Yeah And you're wearing an electric collar I guess she had an electric fence Yeah Wow She doesn't want you podcasting She's training me to stop podcasting

This is so fucked Speaking of podcasting I actually have a little game I don't know if it'll be good or bad, but that's... Interesting. The nature of these games sometimes. Yeah, that's the beast. Basically, do you remember when we worked at college humor, we were very focused on our Alexa ratings?

Yeah, the Amazon Alexa ratings for websites. It's ranking every website on the internet in terms of popularity. Yeah, and we were like trying to crack... Were we trying to crack the top 100 websites in existence? I thought it was top thousand. Oh, really? Was it that low? I guess there were a lot of websites.

Yeah. Well, here is the game that I've come up with. Okay. How many websites? Keep in mind, Alexa no longer exists, but there's another one that's apparently better called a refs.com. Alexa doesn't exist. No, it's gone.

Is it because Alexa is now the name of Amazon's AI pod? I guess, yeah, they stopped caring about ranking websites, and they were just like, it's not important to know who's behind us. Yeah. Who owned Alexa at the time? Was it a Google thing? I don't know. I wasn't not Amazon Alexa?

Or was it just called Alexa? I don't know. I think a company had like, oh, it was like IMDB or internet database or maybe it was just his own thing. It was an internet company. Internet.com? An internet provider. Interesting. And then, yeah, it began a partnership in Google.

Google. So wow. And the web directory DMAs. Of course. Of course. Yeah. Okay. So that was kind of tracking.

But that's not what the. game is no this game is how many websites in the top 100 websites do you think you could name oh um i don't know 94 i'll take the i'll take the over my god i get them all in order uh no i could probably name 22 unless they're all like weird asian websites i've never heard of before I might, yeah, I might take the, I'll take the under. Okay. All right. Watch me cook.

All right. Timcook.com is my first guess. Correct. Yes. At number four. Okay. How are you going to count? I have a little document that I'll, you know, do, that I'll number each time you get.

Correct. And can people play it along at home or what do you think? No. Absolutely not. This one's just for me. This one's a schmule solo journey. Google.com. That is correct.

Do you want to bonus and just guess what number it is? Two. Incorrect. Moving on. Okay. I get a bonus one for that. Amazon.com. Correct.

You want to guess what number it is? I'll guess that one is the third. Incorrect. Okay. Amazon is 12. Wow. Google is five. by the way.

Wow. Okay. MSN.com. MSN. Not on there. Nobody cares about fake news. Interesting. IMDB.

Correct. Number, do you want to guess? 70. 14. Oh, okay. Show me Pornhub. I wonder, I feel like it's not tracking porn. Got it.

Okay. Because it's not on there. It's not on there. number so I'm going to maybe do seven that was going to open sort of a cascade slash floodgate of smut that I don't think I can access anymore yeah I wonder hmm I was trying to see if there was one yeah list of most visited websites on Wikipedia do you think porn hub is the number one uh porn site I do because it's kind of ubiquitous yeah for porn Okay

Wait hold on I found a place Wait hold on This game is already pretty slow Well I'm finding I'm finding the porn hub It is on It's on the list of top 100

But it's actually not in the top tent It's below LinkedIn Which is I think a really good thing For America So People would rather have a job Than a blow job Nice

Are you giving me credit for porn hub No because it's not on this list Okay well you make mentioned LinkedIn, so give me that one. Fuck. Okay. And you mentioned Wikipedia, so give me that one. Did I?

You would have got Wikipedia. You care to know where Wikipedia ranks? Nope. Facebook is going to be up there. Okay. Yep. Care to wager and guess as where that one ranks? No.

Show me YouTube for top 10. Yep. YouTube is up there? For sure. It is in the top 10. TikTok.com up there, just in terms of people watching TikTok's online? Yep. TikTok is on there.

You're at eight, by the way. Okay, great. Nine if you're counting porn hub, which we don't. No. X, aka formerly Twitter. Yes. Yes, that is there. It is.

Yep. Okay. CNN.com or ESPN or New York Times for news. Okay. No CNN. What? ESPN yes And New York Times yes

Oh interesting So that's 11 Yeah you're at 11 Whoa I'm halfway there I'm calling it Apple You can't come up with any more And time Sorry I should have mentioned

Three minutes and 42 seconds and under A three minute game Does gmail.com count as a separate website or is that all of Google? I think it's all Google. And Instagram.com? Instagram.com is there. As one of them. So that's a new one.

Yep. You're at 12. And one almond.com? Ooh. No. Nothing even with the name almond. Interesting. Pretty weird.

Is Yahoo's still popular amongst boomers? It certainly is. So Yahoo's up there. and Yahoo at number 16. Wow. Okay. What about that Asian search slash mega website, Weibo, W-E-I-B-O? W-E-I-B-O.

It's not on this list. Okay. What about Alibaba? No, not on this list. Ali-Baba. Not on the list. I wonder if they aren't including companies from China. Right.

Well, no TikTok's on there. This is censorship in the greatest degree. Google Drive, that's all part of Google, right? Yeah. Separate. Yep. What else do people use for mail? What about AOL?

Are people still going to AOL.com? They might be, but not on the top 100. What about Zoom.com? Every time you go on Zoom, that's technically a website. Not technically on the list. Wow. What about Evite.com for online, invitations um

evite no wow okay reddit dot com gotta be up there yeah reddit's there Reddit is there number six wow good on Reddit

yeah I don't think you've gotten everything in the top 10 yet interesting oh there's probably gaming stuff like twitch dot com Twitch is not on there kick dot com

nope this is a thing list. There are there is gaming stuff but you just obviously don't game yeah is it like live streaming stuff I've never heard of maybe or like an actual game like I think live streaming stuff that you've never heard of fuck oh rotten tomatoes correct rotten tomatoes number 86 wow it's going to be hard to get any number higher than that uh I'm just going to Alexa.com so I can refresh my memory of a few of these um what Let me just pull up the list.

What? Nothing's really coming to mind, and I've only gotten 15. What are you talking? Is dig.com still popular? No. Okay. Fark. What about Hewlett Packard, H.P.com?

Nope. What about, I'm just thinking of trillion dollar slash giant corporations like chat GPT. Mm-hmm. Yeah. What's chat GPT? 8.40. Wow. That's going, only going up.

There's also probably like newsish websites, banking websites is like Citibank, Bank of America, um, um, um, travelosity, uh, oh, travel, you haven't really gone there yet. Nope, none of those. No travelosity. No travel. Uh, yeah. How are people buying plane tickets these days? I guess I, I don't know, somewhere. Oh, what about ticket master? No. Wow. Not in the top 100. Stubhub, seat geek.

I think these are too, they're too American. But you told me no foreign websites. I said no Chinese. Your lives are catching up with you. But there is TikTok. Alibaba. Alibaba's not here. I'm scared.

I'm scared to find out what to do online. What about IRS.gov? People paying their taxes. No. No. And we're getting close to needing to call it. What? Because you're obviously

You're floundering. You're grasping at straws.com. Are there any dotnets on here? Yes. Or a dot org even. There is a dot net. There's one dot net and there's five dot orgs. Holy shit, the dot org.

Because Wikipedia is a dot org. Right. Yeah, I think I'm running out of ideas. Ask. com. Other websites that old. people use. I think I just recognize a huge flaw in my game.

Oh, here we go. This is the list of my favorite websites. It's the top trending web websites worldwide. This game is bunk. But it's not the top rank. Of course this game is bunk.

There's no way we can possibly keep up this ruse. Actually, no, that's right. It's trending. It is trending. That's how this will work. Venmo.com, me, $500. Let's go Venmo. Not, that's an app.

I know, but sometimes fucking TikTok's an app, but people use it online. One last guess, uh, Apple.com. Correct. Oh, that's interesting. Yeah. You can't really do anything on up. Oh, what about, um, like TV watching stuff? What about TV watching?

Netflix.com. Yeah. What about Netflix's number 22 on this list? What about Hulu? Sorry to say Hulu is not. Interesting. Sorry to Hulu. What about 2B? 2B.I. Two. Oh, two. No. Is Alexa.com like Amazon's proprietary Alexa website on here?

No. Okay. So I give up. 18. I got 18. That's not bad. Some of the heavy hitters you missed. Number seven, WhatsApp. I didn't realize that was a website either. Yep. Oh, but that's an app. It's an app. And yet fucking WhatsApp is in the top seven. Were you trying to fuck me up on purpose? Or do you like seeing? me fail. Number eight, open AI. You had ChatGPT. That's ChatGPT. That's 100% ChatGPT. You marked it off the list as if I had already completed that task. Number nine, Pinterest. You incepted me not to even think about that one. You also forgot Microsoft.com. I amdb. I said MSN.com. Did you say

IMDB? I said MSN.com. And I did say IMDB. And this game is bunk. And you do Venmo. You didn't do Canva. You didn't do Globo You forgot Of course not Yeah you didn't do the BBC You're obsessed with the news You didn't do and then

And then I think you're Al Jazeera Let me see No Okay Cut that Health line

Some health stuff Yeah WebMD WebMD is on there Yeah And then the games Roblox.com Steam

Right Right Right right Right right right Right. Wow, IKEA is up there. That's pretty interesting. And then you love weather.

You didn't look at weather.com or acueweather. Yeah, those were two ones that were just fucking waiting there for me. And then YouTube is so popular that a bunch of these websites are just like YouTube rippers and YouTube downloaders and stuff. Like YouTube to MP3 or something? Yeah. Save video. What's 100? That's a good question.

And I'll tell you as soon as I reopened the tab, because I closed it. You will never guess it. It's actually open AI. Because it's shoppy.co. An Indian shopping website. Oh, what about that one where everything is cheap like Timu or Wayfair? Not Timu. Not Wayfair.

The United States is not populace enough. But China's not on the list. And it's not an app. But WhatsApp is on the list. Indonesia. I'm really trying not to get fucking mad. You are already pissed. But it's not working.

I think, I really think we need to take a break. And on the pot, it will be instant. But for us, it might be a week. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you to Sayley for sponsoring this episode of our show.

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And we're back. That was a game in which the entire thing was rigged against me. Now let's do one where I can actually win because the game master isn't consistently trying to ruin life for me. He's in trolling. A.k.A. you. You obviously haven't slept well. I haven't had a fucking wish. because she did eat more chocolate when we got home.

Avital left a fucking twixt at the door for me as a thank you. Amazing. Okay, here's a fun one that we can't do. Take turns counting to a thousand. Let's put a pin in that for next week's episode. Ooh, I love that. Evgeny Matt Beeb. Oh, I should say we asked our Instagram followers for quick hits.

So this is sort of a lightning round version of segments. Yeah. Evgeny Matt Beeb says take turns count into a thousand. Can't do that right now, but I love the idea for next week. Who are your favorite fictional characters, says Reggie Sunami. Favorite fictional characters. Captain Jack Aubrey of the Master and Commander series by Patrick O'Brien. Lieutenant Daniel Caffee, aka Tom Cruise in a few good men.

He's funny and he's really. really good at fucking softball. Yeah. And Captain Jack Aubrey is lucky, brave, selfish in a love, in a, in a really charming way. And also selfless in a really charming way. The perfect man. Marcy asks, who are your guy and girl top three celebrity crushes? I don't have like current day celebrity crushes.

I guess Margot Robbie is like maybe the most recent celebrity that I think is attracted. And I think it's a track Just fucking lean into it You have a huge fucking She's so fucking fuckable Dude Oh Marco Robbie

Holy shit you're coming I think I'm gonna cream You do have a restraining order against her So like it's not that funny I have one against her That's right Because I'm married I want to serve her

A fucking order Or even lunch or something If I can get a job at a restaurant she frequents. I had way more celebrity crushes when I was just like even a little bit younger. Like Alicia Silverstone and Clueless. Yeah. I guess for guys, I really like seeing Matt Damon in movies, Brad Pitt in movies.

Oh, it's guys? Guys or girls. I see. I really like Gosling. Gosling's very, very charming. I'm charmed by the cool, hot guys. Yeah, I'm a Hemsworth head. It's gone through and through.

What are your thoughts on the Scars guards? They're very tall and attractive. They're attractive, but I mean, they're fine, but they don't do it for me. Yeah. The way Hemsworth does. And girls? Yeah, I guess traditionally. I grew up loving the Kellys, of course.

I've talked about my idea is to have a Kelly's podcast, right? Kapowski, Bundy, Taylor, all sort of talking about what it was like being probably They'll have restraining orders on you. Of course. But I was young at the time so I can get away with it. Would you rather be too tall or too small, says do it for the gram? And another person asked, one foot taller or one foot shorter? That's sort of a more specific way of asking that question.

Yeah. I mean, probably taller. Yeah, they're both inconvenient, but it kind of is cool to be 611. Although I bet, like, if you're 611 at age 40 to 45, that's probably, you can't really take advantage of all the cool things about it. Like, I would have wanted to be 611 in high school. Right. I don't need to be 611 at age 43. 611 now.

That's really tall. Yeah. But one, yeah, one foot shorter I feel like is just, they're both inconvenient and one of them other people think is cool. 411 you mean Yeah exactly Sterling K says What was the worst day for you that you can personally remember I mean the other day with the chocolate thing wasn't great

Wouldn't say worst day But that's the most recent one that comes to mind Worst day I mean probably the trip to the ER That's definitely up there It's always fucking medical related For things that you feel bad for Yeah

What about, what about, oh, I had got food poisoning in Palm Springs. That was really bad. Right. I was just basically crawling back and forth between the toilet and the bed, flu-like shaking diarrhea and puking into a trash can. That'll do it. That and also travel, like, really rough travel days where you like, you feel sick. You know, you're like miss a flight, get delayed, flight get canceled,

and you need to like figure out how to get somewhere. That's happened a few times. Yeah. The layover in a city you didn't ask for. Yeah, the dirty man says smoke weed on the pod. Amir is almost 50, by the way. Interesting. Is that true? Would you get high for a podcast episode? No, I definitely wouldn't. You're saying you're not smoking that dad grass anymore? No, and no like CBD. It just doesn't, it doesn't do what it does, to my brain, what it does to other people's brains. I have no qualms with it. But I think I'm already kind of not very stressed.

And, like, I don't need it to calm my brain down. So I think when I imbibe, it does something different to my brain. And it makes it worse. It makes it more active. Yeah, it's like the opposite. You're already a sort of, you have a high personality. So when you get high, it actually makes you uptight and weird. Yeah, it makes me uptight and weird.

It really does. Which I honestly would make for a good podcast. That's true. Amir J. R. McCluskey. He says, Amir pitches ideas for what he would write about on his own substack, which makes me wonder, how's your substack going? Going good. It's going good.

Are you still doing it weekly? Not weekly. The summer was too tough. I went kind of like bi-weekly. I took Fourth of July. As in bi-weekly, I'm not doing that cadence anymore. I'm done posting and I'm going to start charging. How's that?

Pledge to support my substack, but I have. I'm not posting, not unless I reach a certain tier. It's a stretch goal of a certain age. So you want people to bribe you to write, which is what you did? It's been really fun. And I read every single submission. Oh, that's nice. So it also feels nice to kind of like see what so many people are going through,

even though I can't respond to every single person. Because I think I thought initially that I would be able to respond to like three or four people at a time. but the questions have all warranted like multi-paragraph responses so I'm only answering one to two a week Somebody mentioned that we should play Sporkel as a segment Do you know what Sporkel is?

No, it sounds vaguely familiar It's like those list games where you're trying to like come up with as many as possible as fast as possible So they're like, think of every Crayola crayon ever It started as like a sports thing So it's like think of every red sock ever that beat the Yankees in the playoffs or something like that.

And there's like 180 names and you're trying to answer them all. Oh, that would be fun. That might be a good one for our Patreon. Yeah, that's right. Sporkel. Basketball map revealed. What the heck? Okay.

That's a good idea. We did a crossword puzzle the other day. And it's sort of like that. And we solved it. Oh, we didn't. There was one word that we didn't yet. There was one word that we didn't yet. Yeah.

it was like things that you would say to a doctor or a dentist and we didn't understand what say saw was but then our commenters yeah yeah like say ah yeah says ah says ah right yeah yeah x-at-tttm says thoughts on npr um that it's getting defunded okay well i mean is that what the thoughts is that what they're asking thoughts on i guess i have no idea i will i love npr i always have i grew up listening to car talk I mean, this American life. But, yeah, sad. Hi, my name is Evan says. At what age did you consciously start thinking you're old now? I don't know.

It really is always relative because sometimes I hang out with people who are older than me and I still feel young, even though I'm almost 40. I feel old. And then I felt old even when I was like 27 going to bars sometimes where most people were like 23. So it's all relative. I saw this Reddit thing that was like for millennials and it was like, at what age did you realize most people are younger than you now?

And some people were like, yeah, I was, I've been thinking more and more, wow, that doctor looks young, wow, that policeman looks young, wow, that lawyer looks young. It's like, wait a minute, no, they're just 33. You're 42. So yeah, most humans are young now. And it's like, oh, I guess that's just a new norm. everybody will look young now because it's such a weird thing yeah but like they look the same so I don't know why I think because you view yourself so often that just becomes the baseline right you see

a 35 year old vet like the one that treated Vivian I'm like you're young oh that person's young too oh this policeman's young too uh everyone seems young because by by relation they're you're getting older. Yeah. Yeah. I really, I think the ideal age for like a medical or authority figure in my life is like 48 to 50. Right. It's always 10 years older than you. Yeah, that's it. But that's not going to be possible for very long. Would you rather have no elbows or no knees, says Lucas Kraft? Probably, I guess probably no knees. Oh, interesting. Because you really need your elbows to like put food in your mouth. Yeah. I was going to say no elbows just because I like walking. Yeah, I like it too, but I like eating.

I'll eat with my fucking feet. They're so dexterous. What's the big whoop? Sit on your ass and eat using chopsticks with your toes. Come on, bud. Brett Williamson says, why haven't you released anything in months? I think a lot of people only watch our show on YouTube. And I do mean the podcast.

Yeah, that'll happen. That'll happen. But if you're listening to this, you already know the answer to that question. Would you wrap, this is very similar. Nate File says, would you rather break both hands or one foot? One foot. Way one foot. Because you can still sort of hop around and use both hands.

Yeah. I mean, a lot of the time when you're in the break of foot, they'll put you on a walking boot, right? Yeah. Yeah. Are you still in the walking boot plus the scooter situation? No, I got out of that 12 years ago. You know, I saw Tyree. Halliburton tore his Achilles.

They put him in the walking boot plus scooter. Oh, really? Yeah. It's rough. You're sort of ahead of the time on that. That's right. The knee scooter. Julia Bala says, how did you two become such good friends?

I think it was a common misconception. We don't really, we work together, but we don't get along. Mike likes cooking, says, do some surprise round from Jake's more successful podcast. Oh, that's good. That's a game we play on NADPOT where we kind of like... Right. So what is, like, a bunch of these are about NADPOD. Is that like a different show you do or is that like a substack thing?

It's, no, it's like a different show that I do. Like a genre? Yeah, it's like a tabletop gaming, but kind of like counterculture nerddom. That's funny. Who do you do that with, Marty? I do. That's Murph, Emily, and Caldwell. Murf and Emily sold out. Madison Square Garden so I think they're like yeah they're pretty successful I guess it's all

relative again no you're a joke yeah that's funny you're a joke because you're really funny I love you dude what is surprise around how can we play it or is it too long of a game it's not a long game it's like I think there the first one that we ever did was you're at a restaurant, you're sitting at a table, how many people dressed in clown costumes can enter the restaurant before you leave? I thought it was going to be before you notice. But it's before you have to go. What would make you actually be like, I need to, I need to leave. I don't know if I would ever leave because it would just be funny. And like, it's kind of like in a Santa Con way. Like, I would never leave I would just be like oh my god

this is getting crazy but like I don't know if I'd ever be so afraid if it was all clowns and me I don't even know if I would leave I still want to eat I think I feel like Murf might have said like six I said one

because what if he has a fucking AR 15 you want to be dead by the hand of the guy that dressed like a clown something it was yeah it was something like that both get a would you rather and abide by it for the entire episode, a.k.a. speak and only rhymes or Yoda style.

I don't think we could really do that now, obviously. But nice idea. Yeah. The TripAdvisor game. Name a city. You have to name the top 10 things to do there. Says Jam Bumbo. Ooh. All right. Give me a city. Top 10. Is that a thing? TripAdvisor top 10 things to do there? I think so. Let's do New York. Your city. Wow. So am I guessing. Oh, yeah. So every website. Oh, it's based on rankings. Oh, interesting. So it's like, what has the most highest ratings for New York City? Pretty good. Jabbeam bubble. Let's see if you can get any of these. Okay. Highest rate, I mean, going to the top of the Freedom Tower?

Uh, not Freedom Tower, but there are other buildings. Oh, Empire State Building? Yeah. Oh, or the Hudson Yards? Hudson Yards is not here. Empire State Building is. Okay. I think there's two better places to go and view the city, but that's for them to figure out. Brooklyn Bridge Park? Nope. Wow. Statue of Liberty? Yeah, Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island Tour has 4.9 ratings of 7,000 people have said, go for it. Wow. I mean, probably the museums, the Met, the MoMA. Met is not on here, but there is a newer museum. Museum of Natural History. No, oddly. Not MoMA either? Not the Frick. Not the frick. What the frick?

The Brooklyn Museum. The 9-11 Memorial Museum is the number one. Oh, wow. Yeah. That's, is the Oculus on there too? Because there's a, I guess that's like a big concentration of things to do. Actually, a bunch of them are sightseeing cruises. Yeah, the circle line cruise.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What about like going to a Yankee game? Not on here. That's something called the Summit One Vanderbilt experience. What is that? I have no clue. I guess it's another observation. deck. Brighton Beach, Rockaways, not going to the water.

You have to think much more basic because number five is the open top bus tour. So you're just driving through Times Square on a double decker. So is Time Square one? That is. So it's mostly Statue of Liberty, Times Square, the 9-11 Memorial, and cruises around the Empire State Building and the Statue of Liberty. Yeah. I mean, these are all places I basically actively avoid, except I have been to the World Trade Center, not the actual museum, but the reflecting pools. They're very cool.

Yeah. I mean, I'm sure a lot of these are also like four and five star. One of them is a helicopter museum in the top 20, carriage ride around the Central Park. Central Park, yeah. Those are really fucked up. One of them is to just kick a horse. Kick a horse, yeah, I thought. What the fuck is that?

That's your recommendation. You really want to pull a fucking tail of a horse. That's 19. Come on, guys. Pull the tail of a horse. That's not even written well. I can't believe it. Have you been to the 9-11 Memorial fucking museum?

Or are you just a casual? I guess I'm a casual. I haven't been to the, I haven't been to the museum. Oh, wait. God. I think I maybe have. I maybe have been there, but it was a while ago. But I've been to the reflecting pools recently.

And I did go to the top of the Freedom Tower as well. You're turning 40 soon. Let me get you and Jill one time square tour. A helicopter tour. Of these double-decker buses. I think I'm good. Drive through. I'm really good.

Drive through downtown, I was going to say. Yeah, maybe. You can see celebrities and actually spider. Like Margot fucking Robbie, if you're a lot of you. Margo Robbie Tour is number 22, I guess. Incredible. Sign me up. You could take a bus to her house.

All right, doing that with more cities would be good. All right, solid suggestions. Yeah, good run. Thank you, everybody. Okay, that's it. That's our time. Namaste. Thank you for listening.

For more of us, we're doing a bonus segment on our podcast, on our Patreon. Patreon.com slash JA. Ja. That's right. Is this, do we want to say that this is the beginning of the end? I think we have to tell people because it's this podcast, we're in our senior slide. Yes. There's like four more weeks of the show.

No, there's more than that. Is there? Six. We want to, the show is coming to a, yeah, six-ish weeks. The show is coming to an end. This podcast will be no more if you can believe it. Yeah. We didn't want to do it at the last episode where it's like, by the way, last episode ever.

So we chose a date at the end of the summer, September 15th. is the final episode of segments, a podcast as you know it right now. Yeah. But things, it's okay because there's still plenty of ways to hear us. Like we're going to, we have our Patreon. We're going to be doing two things a week over there, including a segment. So you don't tell them that it's okay. Okay.

They have to deal with that emotion and they're incredibly perturbed. Your commute is done. You will never hear Jake and Amir again unless you subscribe to our podcast or Unless you subscribe to our Patreon or the headgun Patreon where we guest or any of the other podcasts where that we do weekly. So there's still podcasts out there. But this one, as you know it, is gone. Not yet, of course. We're doing a Colbert-esque.

Instead of an eight months ending, we're doing it in six weeks. Yeah, that's right. So thank you for the segment suggestions because we still have to fill up a few more episodes, as it were. but then on September 15th, I believe, is our last episode. Yeah, then we'll have an emotional goodbye. But for now, we're just kind of letting you guys know. It's a heads up, if anything. And yes, we'll be doing that bonus segment if you want to watch us on Monday on this, on our Patreon.

The last few weeks have been fun. We did a crossword. We did some sort of improv game where I interview Jake. Who knows what Monday will bring? Maybe we'll do a Sporkel. Oh, we should. Or maybe I'll get high. That'd be awesome for the last.

episode you have a panic attack look it's so big I'll be afraid nine hour live stream where the majority of it is you on the phone with animal toxicology how long will it last I think I also had chocolate okay thank you big news but ultimately for the best we appreciate it and we'll be back next week on Monday adios chow for now That was a Hidgum original.