Segments - Bonus: Funky Toenail (2019)

Episode Date: June 30, 2025

In this episode we discuss our grandparents, our feet, and our weddings.Advertise on Segments via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum original. Ready? Yeah. I'll tell you what I would do if only I were you Show.com Song's over. You were like still dancing in this really jovial fashion. Let's get down to brass tacks. I'm not saying like get dead serious like be super sober and like All judge like about it. I'm just saying that like yeah

I was just saying we have a job to do yeah, and I'm I was really the job And then you were like I'm eager to do it you weren't that eager I'm like dancing past when the song was finished for me There's no difference between me getting shit done now and like my great-grandfather being a blacksmith I'm at work, and I have shit to do you're gonna put my head down and whether I'm funny Yeah, or not your great-grandfather fucking matter made a product you have a fucking patreon You coward you loser You Jew ass and you Jewish

You Jew ass and you Jewess. Thank you so much for watching our Patreon bonus video version of this year's podcast, If I Were You. It's a video version of our weekly advice show, which is available for free everywhere. We're now bi-weekly if you subscribe. That's right. Bi-weekly is twice a week or every other week. Yeah, and bi-monthly is twice a week or every other week Yeah, and by monthly is twice a month or every other month insane We should there's got to be a better way have figured it America, and this is what it is okay?

bi-monthly is Every other month and if you want to do something twice a month We'll call it die monthly why die because it's like That was half real never mind it's fine For what seemed like a second here, but an eon in my mind, I was attacked by the ghost of a dictionary. The ghost of your great-grandfather, the blacksmith. And I learned and forgot everything, 30 times over. I made a lock with him.

Made a lot go with him. So let's keep it as is, and we'll just, bimonthly can mean either. It's fine. Okay, yeah. You can figure it out with context, or you can ask a follower. And blacksmithing is a harder job than doing Patreon. Well.

Anybody can hit a hammer against a horseshoe. Right, well they can hit a hammer against a horseshoe, yes, but not anybody can hit iron and make a horseshoe. Well I don't want it to be too hot in the room. There you go. When it happens. I don't want it to be too hot right room there you go when it happens I don't want to inhale the smoke. It's actually really hot I think that anyone can do is have friends roll a camera Oh, did I really hurt when I went like that you were waving away foe smoke?

God the bones popping out All right your great-grandfather was also a bad blacksmith. He was also a podcast died last year All right. This is an email from a Canadian and she actually Provided us with a picture. Oh, so we'll call her Amelia Earhart who took many photos She was practically famous for this shit. That's absurd. But we can show the photo as I read it.

Here we go. I'm a longtime fan and I was wondering if you can give me some advice on what to do with my toenails. So I've had this long-standing issue with my big toenails. I've been to doctors and podiatrists about it on and off meds and the problem remains. Basically the issue is that there was a disruption in the nail bed so that the nail growth got messed up and they don't grow properly. As you can likely imagine they look pretty messed up and frankly kind of disgusting. Recently I got a professional strength electric nail file and I try to shave away some of the horrifying nail the problem is that recently after

Shaving the nail I went too far, and I noticed a hole right in the middle of one of the nails oh Like a little mushroom. I'm a little disturbed now at the sight of my own nail And I don't know what to do so my question is for you is should I get the nail surgically removed entirely and never ever wear sandals again or leave them with a gross hole in one and do nothing? I've attached a picture of the nail with a mushroom-shaped hole to better inform your advice giving but I will advise that it is not a pleasant image. So if you are squeamish or easily grossed out or maybe leave that file unopened, and believe me when I say it's disturbing to look at.

So we're gonna show it on this Patreon, this is a video. I don't wanna look at it. I won't show it to you, but you can close your eyes. So when I'm counting to three, we'll superimpose the image so people can look if they want and not if they don't. Okay, ready, I'm gonna count to three. It'll be five seconds long, we like leave it up there for five seconds. So I'll say one, two, three, and then it'll show it during four, five, six, and then it'll disappear.

Oh, only two seconds. The countdown is a warning. Right. And then a three-second image. Alright, ready? Yep. One, two, three, four, five, six. Okay.

And now it's back. I didn't even see the photo and I just felt squeamish imagining it. So would you rather have a nasty toenail or no toenail at all? I do wanna see the toenail. All right, here we go. Okay.

It's gray, it's thick, and it has a hole in the middle. I mean, it's not as bad as I thought it was gonna be. Yeah. Why doesn't she just paint it? And it has a hole in the middle. I mean it's not as bad as I thought it was gonna be yeah Why doesn't she just paint it because there's a hole in it I guess and a whole shaped weirdly the hole seems like it's I don't know enough about nail beds But I feel like the hole is gonna get filled in Eventually, I don't know if the nail is dead. I've lost toenails plenty of times you've lost toenails Haven't you yeah like when you drop something on it, then it turns black and blue and then eventually falls off Yeah, but the big toe yeah, I've lost a big toenail

And so would you rather have no big toenail or a funky big toenail? Probably no big toenail because then you get a fresh start. That's good But what if the nail will never grow back? If the nail is never gonna grow back, then I'd probably want no nail rather than have like the dead nail on top. Yeah. What about acrylic nails? Did your mom ever have that, the fake nails

where like it clickety clack against like surfaces? No, and I know you have a bigger version to those. Yeah, but couldn't she do something like that on her toenails, like a fake nail on top of her nail? Yeah, it seems like you probably could. I feel like you could just go to a pedicurist and be like, hide this. Help me.

Yeah, they would be able to figure it out. It's probably a step above pedicurist. It seems like a podiatrist issue. Right, but like, the thing is, she hasn't said anything about the pain. Yeah, no pain. So it seems like it almost could be a pedicurist issue because it's a cosmetic thing.

She wants to know whether she should have it removed entirely or leave it with a gross hole. I'd probably notice less no toenail than gross toenail plus hole. Yeah, I think so too. I think we're talking like just, yeah, in terms of like what you notice. Yeah.

Can you paint the toe nub if there's no nail there so still paint anything? Yeah, you paint it you paint anything. Yeah, you paint anything. Can you paint this? Yes? It's your finger It's your middle finger. It's a rude thing to do, but yes you paint it Okay, definitely painted. I was gonna be like you're not paint on your well then paint this if you said right well I can yeah, really right have you ever painted anything as a pink that's on you what? You can't paint my love for you You could paint like a representation of like yeah people paint photos of or pictures all the time people drop that drop stuff You can't paint like a fucking huge ass house

I mean of course yeah over time it has to be figured out yeah, because otherwise it's otherwise It's just a house. That's unpainted. How often you see unpainted house all right all right? I'm just talking out loud I'm not right around you are just talking out loud. You're talking at your ass out loud Let's figure this out together. Why don't you figure it out by yourself? Okay? That's it because I don't need I don't need to be part of this could you paint a piece of wood so big and thick? This really see it feels akin to a big-ass house. Yeah, I was gonna say like this big-ass fucking wooden house It's one thing that we established you can absolutely paint and people most often do right I get that so Remove the toenail I'd go removal of the toe

But would you know? The toe has got to go and why stop there? Fruit by the foot no you have a fruit by the nub. Oh Yeah, a peg leg that ends at the knee for you and me remove Peg leg that ends at the knee for you and me remove an appendage The size of a baseball bat starting at your thigh and going splat splat splat hell Why don't we start at the thigh and go up? Oh? I'm talking for the rest of your life. You're just a goddamn foot

Yeah What? We sort of separate her like she's Siamese twins. Kneecap up is Amelia. She's her old quirky self. A classic. Filing away. Oh, she's got a filing problem.

She's overthinking everything. This is Amelia. Yeah. And then the other is Amelia 2.0. The knee, the shin, the foot, the toe, the nail. She's taking the world by storm. She's Amelia's old foot. That's good.

So like, you know Courtney the name? Yeah. This is Just Knee. It's Just the Knee. Yeah. So Just Knee is like, it's kind of a fun person to have around because it's just like a foot.

Yeah, it's the knee, the shin, the foot, the toes. But like you really want Amelia there too to help run interference. They don't have to be together all the time. No, and ideally they would take some time apart. So you have your leg removed and you carry it around in a bag. So you're still all there.

Yeah, the bag is like filled to the brim with like Vaseline or a gel like a like a gel type substance It could also be like what do you how do you pickle stuff? Do you leave it in water? Yeah, water water and salt. Okay, so like she could brine her her let her her knee her shin her foot the toes I know yeah final bit of advice you turn it get the leg above the knee tight taut tight with a rubber Or like a rubber piping yeah, and then it order eyes it exactly and then you stand you put that dead now dead foot Into a tub of salt water with a little bit of acid a little bit of brine and that'll slowly start to eat away At the skin, but you turn a kit, so from the knee up, that's a different person.

And it'll eventually just, that turn a kit will get tighter and tighter and tighter down to the bone, which will soften in the brine, and then it'll come off almost like you're ripping paper. Like a weathered below. And then someday you'll have somebody, like a secret admirer. Oh, that's funny.

That's cute. Like a Valentine's card. That's cute. And you'll be like, won't you be brine? That's good. Meanwhile, you're bleeding out, right? Right, because it's a tourniquet. Yeah, it couldn't hold.

You really needed to do that medically. No, you're not a doctor. That's insane. Tell me again about the Valentine. Oh, I was gonna say, won't you be brine? Will you be brine? That's good, that's cute. That's a nice way to end it.

She's bleeding out. She's passed out. That's why I said nice way to end it, because it's over. It's over for her. All for a toe. The foot bleeding out. Yeah, she's passed out. That's why I said nice way to end it because it's over It's over for her offer a toe the foot is gone Yeah, yeah, that's good. You could do acrylic also for the nail or even just paint the paint the nub the nub Yeah, I think good the hole is probably small enough that the paint what is it good for hmm? Caves infection away from the foot.

The toenail acts almost like a shield. It's like an enamel layer. Everything serves an evolutionary purpose. So a lot of times you'll get hit, and it sort of protects a very nerve-filled appendage of your body so that it provides not only shielding but housing in case it gets wet or infected. The species without the nails died off, obviously, because they were more prone to these diseases.

And so the nail, which is still probably very necessary today, acts almost like as a buffer between you and the outside. Because you said absolutely nothing. But it's actually incredibly important to have nails Yeah, no, I'm telling you No, it's a lot. It's like imagine wearing a helmet So you don't have to say it again, but I was just doing like, because of the song. A joke, yeah. Absolutely everything.

I didn't realize that. That's why I did the song. Just trying to get to that. Let us know what you end up doing. I'm really curious about this toenail. Yeah, me too. But don't worry about it. A lot of people won't even see your toenail. Oh yeah, as long as it doesn't hurt, I think that's fine.

Yeah. With a $5 meal deal with New McValue. You pick a McDouble or a McChicken, then get a small fry, a small drink, and a four piece McNuggets. That's a lot of McDonald's for not a lot of money. Prices and participation may vary. Mcdouble meal six dollars in some markets for a limited time only. Uh, alright. Ooh. This guy is a nice Jewish boy we'll call Shmuel.

Shmuel Rice. Classic. I've gotten myself into a sticky situation. I will be traveling to London soon and will meet a few friends there. I am an American and I'll be meeting an Israeli, a few Brits, and an Irishman. The Israeli and I will be staying at a British girl's house. However, this is where the situation gets tricky. I accidentally slept with the British girl over a binger, sorry, after a binger over the summer.

About a week later, I got romantically involved with the Israeli. We're all in our 20s. We were all friends with each other. So I don't know who knows what. Should I mention anything to anyone before our trip? How do I operate the situation without it potentially blowing up in my face?

I don't actually want a three-wayway I was just hoping for that to be an attention-grabber because the subject line says a London three-way oh got it I really like the Israeli and I want to see how long I can take this long distance thing before maybe closing the distance someday also anywhere cool I should go in London your favorite nice Jewish boy Schmuel okay, so he's going on this trip With two ladies there that he's hooked up with but he doesn't know if they know about the hooking up situation I guess if they're all friends, then they do know oh you think they know already

I think they might know but I also think it's fine It's only the only time it could really bite you in the ass is if you're like actually doing that trying to have a three-way Thing and you're just like I'm just trying to fuck them both. Yeah, then you're bad But if you're like I slept with this one when I was drunk one time But I like the this girl and that's what I'm going to visit your intentions are pure How do you navigate like if you're with a current lover and you run into an ex lover and do you just say oh? That was a friend. Oh, that was nothing. Do you not say anything does it come up naturally if you're at a party? And there's three people there. Do you point it out?

Do you not say anything at all if they ask you about it because it's kind of weird do you fess up? Do you just lie about it? Yeah, I do all of those things It runs the game. I sometimes you lie sometimes you tell the truth. I do all of those things It runs the game. I feel like I'm as you lie. Sometimes you tell the truth. I do whatever Like is the less? Mean thing to do to the person I want to hurt the least Yeah, like do they want to know that you hooked up with someone else at that party? Yeah like if I'm if it's like a big house party and somebody says hi and they walk away and they're like

Yeah, like if I'm if it's like a big house party and somebody says hi and they walk away And they're like how do you know that girl like I feel like saying that's my ex-girlfriend is just as like It's it's basically the same as being like it's an old like I was just somebody that I know how do you know that person? always seems so like You think something's up. How do you know that person? It's never just like a casual How do you know that person but then like so that's like if it's a big party somebody's like how do you know that person? I don't know. They're just like friend of a friend whatever because then it's like The party could be weird the rest of the time if early on you're like that's my ex Yeah, then it's nobody's having any fun, but if somebody was like

Contacting me asking to like get a drink, like who is this person? I would probably be like, this is my ex, I don't know what they're doing, don't worry, I won't see them, or talk about it if you wanna see them or something. You can tell the truth if there's like, if there's merit to it, if you feel like the information helps.

Sometimes I've gotten like dug myself in a hole, like oh that's nobody, it's a friend of a friend. And then they find out later that I like had slept with them or something. It's like, then why did you lie about it? Now it's a bigger deal than it ever was. Yeah, that does happen. But it's also like, you didn't ask me if I slept with them.

You asked me how I knew them. They were a friend of a friend. That's really good. And then when you said, did you sleep with them? I said no. We didn't sleep. We just had an amazing night stand. That is the worst answer. If your girlfriend says, did you sleep with her? Well, we didn't sleep.

We were up all night long. I had food poisoning after a date and she helped me with my diarrhea. I Didn't get a wink. I didn't get a wink in edgewise So would you mention anything to this lady if it's a trip with a shared house? It's not just a party You're gonna be there for a bit I guess if it were me I I always err on the side of not telling anybody anything and asking for forgiveness later That's good. That's what I do. Are there any lies that you tell yourself? Oh all the time, of course

Like this this lie that I keep from somebody will be to their benefit It would hurt them too much to know this thing. Yeah And that's not something you genuinely believe. You just want to avoid the confrontation on the day in a way to that person. I don't know. I think there's a gray area. Like it is true that like if you cheated on somebody and you don't tell them because the information would hurt them, you're right. It would hurt them. You're right, it would hurt them. But then also not telling them is bad, of course. Well, not telling them is interesting because it doesn't hurt them. So if you cheat on someone, you're then presented with these two options, to tell them or to

forget forever. And it's almost more beneficial and nice, I should say yeah, it's alive forever Right This is me so this is me pleading with a police officer who caught me with a prostitute After my wedding day, right, so I'm saying you're trying to you're trying to get advice. I Guess the the reason you tell is because there's always the chance that it comes out another way. You're a weird fishbowl. And then you're considered a liar.

Well then it's more hurtful. The web of lies. The deceit. The deceit is hurtful on top of the cheat. The deceit and the cheat, or the cheat and the truth. That's sort of the options once you've done the cheating. Of course, this is all having had, this cheat. Yeah, this is also not necessarily

what the source had asked for. Oh yeah, so I'm just groaning into a larger question about morality. It's very interesting. I feel like nobody tackles these issues but us. I think we're probably one of, we're on the forefront of this kind of like. I don't think anybody's even addressed cheating ever.

Yeah, I think that like, us are like millennial relationship, but like what if the new thing is just cheating and not telling? Cheating, that's cool. And we were like, we were the first people to do that. We pioneered that. Advocated. I can be like sort of like on the Mount Rushmore of cheating. Cause like that, Dan Savage does like the Savage love cast. of cheating cuz like that Dan Savage does

like the Savage love cast and his is like and it like super honest yeah yeah really honest influencing a generation we could be at the forefront of dishonest yeah yeah I want to be the face of a dishonest man mm-hmm so like a hurtful man like the man will look up to me the mascot for lying is what I want to be like a lion Awesome Ryan the lying lion. Well, I'm a Leo. So like Leo the lion. That's kind of cool Yeah, it's like you're Ryan the line. I don't want to be lying. I don't want to be Ryan lying Ryan the lion lion. Yeah, and it's like you're the Lion line it's like it's better. You're not a Leon. I'm sorry like

No one's buying Why am I not a leon you're a Ryan? So stop trying all right, okay, so Ryan the lion lion. Yeah, he wants to avoid lying He doesn't like deals in sadness deal with the sadness. Doesn't like flying. Doesn't like crying. That's right. He can't be sad and he can't be in the air. His MO as it were was to be a dishonest nasty man of sorts and that's sort of what we're pioneering here today. Yeah what we're pioneering. That's really good. Thank you. Okay so if you ever we should say if anyone has ever cheated on someone, you can always point to me or Ryan the lover. The lion lion.

Yeah. That doesn't like Ryan. As sort of your figurehead. The face, the body, the head of this new cool movement. Yeah. In which dishonesty is the right policy. Namaste. I see nothing wrong with this. Yeah, I think it could work. Yeah, or not. Yeah, whatever. No skin off my back. I'm fine. I think this guy should, I would

not say anything, but err on the side of the feelings of the girl that you want to start the relationship with. That's cool. So like don't hide stuff from her. Mm-hmm. That's the only advice. Alright. Let's get into one last question. Shall we? Mm-hmm.

Uh... uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh I can't attend this ceremony. Racist people call them racist. They don't say like, oh, I'm a little racist. Yeah, is racist just our term for them or do they proudly think that? I feel like very, very, like even the people that are like straight up in the KKK, they're not like, oh yeah, we're racist. That's like our thing. They're like, they view racism as like whatever their like truth is.

Yeah, but they can't. It's not racism if it's like, if it's accurate. I feel like even doing a bit about what their thoughts are is racist. We should have a racist on the show. No, we should never. Let's give them a platform I should say. You're already on the show.

I'm only a little racist. All right, we'll call this guy Sertie. Why? That's right, C-E-R-T-Y. Okay. Concerning the aforementioned wedding, and the fact that Jake just had his wedding, I feel like you guys would be perfect to help me out with a sticky situation I'm in. My fiance and I recently sent our wedding invites out. We're getting married in Vegas so a few days prior to the ceremony we're gonna

have our bachelor and bachelorette parties. Oh dear. Her cousins are organizing them and they are coordinating with the guests. One of my friends said some really weird shit in a bachelor party group text. It was so weird in fact that her cousin said that he didn't really want to deal with this guy. Fast forward to me doing a little research and I come to find out that In fact that her cousin said that he didn't really want to deal with this guy Fast forward to me doing a little research And I come to find out that this friend went off the fucking deep end and is essentially a racist slash white nationalist He's associated with all the white nationalist groups and even changed his name and deleted his pics on Facebook because he didn't want to be Identified or doxxed as he says. Jesus.

Now this guy was once a really good friend who I actually worked on lots of comedy projects with so it's a little unnerving and disappointing to find out. Now I have to uninvite this guy to my wedding. I'm really struggling with it since I have no patience for people that have a racist mindset. My question is, how should I go about it?

Did I say I'm not really struggling with it? Or did I say I'm really struggling? Did I say I'm not really struggling with it? Or did I say I'm really struggling? I think you said I'm really struggling with it. Okay so he said I'm not really struggling with it since I have no patience for people with a racist mindset. Oh. The question is how he should go about doing it. I want to be straightforward and just call him and say that I don't want his racist ass at my wedding anymore. My much smarter fiance says to not do that because this dude is a little nuts and he keeps hanging out with anarchists and doesn't want an incident. How would you guys uninvite a racist white nationalist to your wedding? Appreciate the help. LNH season 2 is pretty great. Cool, thank you. So how would you...

It's funny to imagine how unfunny these old comedy videos featuring a racist guy must be yeah You never at least this guy's unfunny. You know yeah, you've never seen a racist. That's funny That's accurate So would you be honest and blunt be like I'm not inviting you to my wedding because you're a racist Or would you be like I'm afraid of you, so I'm gonna lie to, I'm not inviting you to my wedding because you're a racist? Or would you be like, I'm afraid of you, so I'm gonna lie to your ass. Please don't kill my wedding. I feel like there's a nice middle ground here.

Because he's willing to do this call. He's not afraid of confrontation. So that's great. I would just call him and rather than be like, you're a racist asshole, you're not invited. I'd be like, hey, you know you have a polarizing. Huh? Oh With my I'd be the role play the texts. Oh, so this is about the tax. We're gonna do improv. Yeah

Sorry, do you like black people? Huh? This is about my Facebook. Yeah, I'm just I'm just asking if you're okay. I have no issue with black people I just happen to think that white people are the master race. All right, and I feel like you're I didn't know you're gonna do I feel like you're a Your and you you Amir are not invited to do the podcast anymore. Oh my gosh for what I think you could just say you're not invited because I Feel like there's gonna be a lot of Conflict with you coming to the wedding and I'm really I mean it's so weird to like be polite to a racist

Yeah, I get where the fiance is coming from like hey, you don't want to piss off a racist person Yeah, if you get like a bunch like a skinhead crashing your wedding like he's already got the invite. He knows where it is Yeah, that's dangerous. You almost just have to you know keep him there. No. I hope he keeps his mouth shut no hey Ryan you comes with the fucking Keeps his mouth shut no hey Ryan he comes with the fucking tattoo You got to knock that off at my wedding none of that weird shit everybody's name is Ryan none of that racist stuff All right, you're a garbage man. I would probably check Ryan. Can you cool your jets with the racist talk? Thanks, bub I

Think I would be too afraid to uninvite him and say it's the right I wouldn't want to antagonize the racist person Well, I think there's a way to do it That's just play on the phone and before you made me do the roleplay thing and I just I don't think Yeah, I would say weddings canceled. I'm Leaving her because she's not racist enough. Do you think that's a good reason to you love it? Let's go on racist tinder I knew it. I knew there was a racist Tinder. You're uninvited to my wedding. We sort of trap him like that.

That's good. Gotcha journalism style. I would be too afraid to do it in a honest way. So I think I would probably say to him, hey, this is so embarrassing. We invited too many people to the wedding and I don't think we have room for about like 40% of the people that we invited.

Oh, so you make him believe that he's part of like a mass layoff. A master layoff. Oh, Jesus Christ. Yeah, that's what I would do. That's not bad. I think as long as he's fine with confrontation, there's a way to let him know that like his attitude

is what's making him uninvited, but it's not like, fuck you, you're racist, you're not coming to my wedding, because that makes him be like, fuck you toovited, but it's not like, fuck you, you're racist, you're not coming to my wedding, because that makes him be like, fuck you too. You know? Yeah, but at the same time, you wanna make his life harder for him being racist so that he realizes that. Yeah, that's why I think that saying,

I don't like the person you become, just do it in a polite way, almost like an intervention type thing. Oh, that's good. So he's like, wow, I'm like losing my friends. I'm not invited to their weddings because of my attitudes. I think that's like for the greater good of society that he knows that.

Yeah. I wanna see like a movie about somebody becoming not racist and how that happened. Cause it seems like one sec. American History X. Is that? Does he like, he starts racist. That's literally what the movie is about.

He starts racist You ever seen it? I remember the curb stomping thing, but that's about So it's about a racist person who becomes not racist yes It become or is it about like this kid who's sort of like towing the line He likes his brother and his brother is racist notes the first thing he be he starts racist and becomes not racist They the family is super racist the big brother family. Yes the well, I mean like This the sons are more racist. They're like in this like they're in like the KKK. Yes skinheads One of them goes away to jail after murdering black people and the brother who's still in the they're like skinhead clan

Is like getting more and more indoctrinated. Big Brother comes out, shows them the error of their ways, having learned in prison to not hate black people. Oh really? Edward Norton is a good guy at the end. By the end, I mean he's not a good, he murders three black people in cold blood. But by the end, he's no longer a racist man.

Yes, in the end, he ends not being racist. That's cool. All right, so I wanna see that. You have seen it. You just only remember the curb stomp. Yeah, it's a very iconic moment in film history. I no wonder you were so easily, so easily slipped into the racist bigot role.

I just, I wanna make sure that Ed Norton didn't change his mind because of a wedding uninvitation. Cause it was like, that's the only thing that it takes to completely turn this racist man. I don't know how long he spends in jail, but it doesn't seem like enough time. Actually, the rest of this podcast is gonna be notes

about American history, if you guys don't mind. All right, so you would tell them you would be more honest? Yeah, but I mean, I'm so much a coward, I'd probably do it in an email, just be like, hey, you're not invited, and this is why, and be as polite as possible. But tell them the truth. Okay, so this is what I would do, best of both worlds,

you uninvite him in the fake way, 40% of the people can't make it, yada, yada, yada. And then after the wedding, so he can't crash or ruin the wedding, you say, listen, it wasn't actually because of that. It's because you're a little racist. And that's not good, buster. A little racist?

It sounds like you changed his name to join white anarchist groups. I'm starting to dip my toe in the water of being completely open and honest with him. So he's like, what are you talking about? Well, this is all the bad stuff you did, and so you're uninvited. That's why I uninvited you to the wedding.

I mean, you still get a little bit of the eye opening. I also kind of feel like the numbers are on your side. Like, your wedding is the one time when all of your friends are in one place, and if like one dude tries to come and crash you. Like, imagine if somebody tried to ruin my wedding. I, Carnell would have just eaten them. Yeah, but what if it was like a whole mob of them? And if like one dude tries to come crash like imagine if somebody tried to ruin my wedding I? Carnell would have just eaten them yeah, but what if it was like a whole mob of them You don't want them there at you. I don't think I don't think like you could get your white nationalist friends to crash crash a wedding

Another movie I don't quite remember the nationalists end up right no Yeah, wedding crashers is about like oh and Wilson and Vince Vaughn doing like a Trump rally at a wedding skinheads that crash the wedding yeah that's right all right that's it that's our advice three questions up three questions down 30 minutes later no ads no ads fuckers except for a few I wanted to say that Starbucks Nike Pepsi Fox not Fox News and Vox and Vox Fox Fox News and Vox Brothers that's it just to mention thanks for watching we'll be back soon If I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you, if I were you,

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