Segments - Introducing: The Pit Wall [Pilot]

Episode Date: August 30, 2022

Some of you asked for it; we needed zero excuse to record it. Have a listen to The Pit Wall, a Headgum original pilot! Headgum's Jake Hurwitz, Geoffrey James, Marika Brownlee, Andrew Pile and Casey Donahue discuss and recap the latest Formula 1 Grand Prix and all the little boys who drive the little cars. Join them as they recap the 2022 Belgian Grand Prix and discuss Lewis Hamilton's traipse through the Ardennes Forest, how Jake wants Toto Wolff to choke him, and where we think Daniel Ricciardo should go after this year. If you want more episodes of The Pit Wall, let us know by subscribing to and rating the show on Apple Podcasts and Spotify! You can also tweet at us, but only if it includes your favorite photo of Guenther Steiner smiling.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. Fuck, how does this start? You just started it, bro. Oh shit, is this okay? We're in. Hey, vroom vroom, beep beep Welcome to the pit wall They don't have horns

It would be amazing if they had horns Just Alonso laying on the horn at Hamilton It's like when they wave to each other when they go by Instead it's just a really long horn The finger La cucaracha Hey everybody, welcome to the pit wall This is an F1 podcast for the casual fan

What does that mean? It means we don't know what we're talking about Uh, what does that mean? It means we don't know what we're talking about. Yeah. None of us know what we're talking about. We don't want to do any research. Yeah. Uh, but we like, we like these boys and like to watch them go around little tracks really fast.

If you can't handle me at my hot takes, you don't deserve me at my nuanced opinions. Yeah. How do you guys feel about that? It says that on your shirt. Really? I thought I came up with it independently. All right. So to get things started, we are going to listen to a prediction that Jake made after qualifying yesterday.

That's right. So every single episode, we're going to kick it off with a prediction that someone has made from the day before, post-quali. Yes. So now I'm going to take a second to figure out how to share this. I would like to say up top that I think I had a hard week because literally no one started in a position where they qualified in. Right. Yeah. The engine penalty.

So, sorry, you did your prediction based on their actual qualifying position and didn't take into account penalties at took into account the grid position but it really threw everything off you know like you look at like their starting positions and it's it's all out of whack it's the most smug i've ever seen marika sorry you didn't take into account penalties fucking idiot and you just Jeff just lied down. It's really early for Jeff and I, uh, the race started and the sun was not up. Yeah. How do you honestly,

the fun of it yet, Jeff, I went to bed at three and woke up at five 45. Jesus. Um, I knew, I knew you were going to say something like that. It's Saturday night, right?

I'll be up for the race. I'll be up for the pod. Yeah, I went to bed early because I knew I had to be up and record a podcast. And here we are doing it. And I believe I have Jake's prediction here.

Let's take a listen. Hey, everybody. Jake here. These are my predictions for the Belgian Grand Prix. We've got did not finish. Unfortunately for him, Jou. Did not finish. Unfortunately for him, Schumacher.

Did finish, but in 18th, we've got Latifi. 17, Sonoda. 16, Botas. Hate to say it. I hate to see it. 18th, we've got Latifi. 17, Sonoda. 16, Botas. Hate to say it. I hate to see it. 15, we've got Okan. 14, Albin. 13, the Hass of Kevin McNass.

12, Stroll. Even though you know I'm a Stroll troll, and I have been from day one. 11, Vettel. 10, hate to say this as well, it's Ricardo. I wish you could have done better, but you didn't. You finished 10th at Spa. 9, we've got Alonso. 8, Gasly.

7, duh, it's Lando Norris. 6, George Russell. 5, Leclerc. Bummer. Bummer for everybody. 4, Perez. 3, Hamilton. He found a way to the podium, folks.

2 for Stappen. And number 1, the Ferrari of Carlos Sainz. My God, with his second win. Incredible for the podium, folks. Cooper Stafford, number one. The Ferrari of Carlos Sainz. My God, with his second win. Incredible for the Spaniard. Could have been true. It was true for like a third of the race. It was close. You know, it was really,

it was eerily accurate. Eerily accurate. Yeah. I nailed Latifi's place. Yeah. Yeah. Weird one to nail, I guess. How many DNFs were there in that prediction?

Three? Two There were two So I knew Latifu was going to come in dead last So I was basically predicting two did not finish Which was also accurate Just got the folks who did it wrong Yeah okay

So we're loose with what accurate means here. I like those predictions. They were bold for a race that was, I think, hard to predict what was going to happen. Kevin Magnasson is really good. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. kevin yeah magnasson is really good thank you thank you yeah if this the first lap of that race was it really i feel like there was so much action in that first in the first two laps that i thought it was going to be a really good exciting race uh and then basically laps two through 42 were, or 44, not that fun. Yeah. It could have been worse, though.

How so? I feel like the first couple races I watched were kind of deeply boring. No movement, no story of Verstappen coming back from P14 for the win, which I hate to see, but it is a story, nonetheless. Right. And I had fun. I like that, like, towards the end of the race, Crofty literally blamed Max for a boring race.

I really like that. He was like, I'm just kidding but also like come on yeah i mean he's what is he a like minute and a half behind most of the field or ahead of most of the field yeah like yeah that's awesome which how? Kyle, your mic is off now. I'm so excited for my later segment. You have a segment? Not my segment. The later segment's in mind for one of them.

Oh, I see. I just found out there's a button on top. Nice. Can you guess what it does? Have you been talking at all? I commented on the Joe Grand you should we say who we are this turns off every 10 seconds this is gonna be an

interesting podcast for me the The mic turns off? Yeah, it keeps turning off. That's our CTO, everybody. Andrew Pyle. Yeah, I had a couple of pretty good cracks in there. I was kind of surprised you guys didn't react at all. Yeah, that makes sense. That's a shame.

Radio silence. I thought your Zoom was frozen, actually. So yeah, it's kind of like, that's a shame. Radio silence. It'll be amazing. Zoom was frozen. Actually. Um, I'm Jeffrey plan G James. That was the segment. No.

Uh, Marika. I feel like we should do it. We should have just done these fast. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. It should have been top of the show kind of situation.

Top of the show for sure. This is a podcast about racing. And here we like to take our time. Yeah, we all work in podcasting. And we're all very good at it. Yeah. But it's a pilot. It's the first one.

We're allowed to make mistakes. Yeah. So from now on, we'll always introduce ourselves after the first segment. Just because we have to set up for the rest of the show. I'm Jake. I nailed the predictions and the pronunciation of Joe Granjou. So bad.

It's better than when you were saying zoo, but it's still not correct yeah joe gran u is that it there's no r it's like it's joe guan yu guan wow i thought it was like i thought the middle name was after the grand prix you know what jake uh i feel for you because i feel like there's so many different accents in f1 that anytime anyone says anyone's name i am constantly feeling like uh i don't know i don't know what's gonna sound like when i say their name yeah i feel like i've said ricardio for such a long time just because there's a weird i in there. People say Leclerc. Yeah, Leclerc, Leclair,

Charles, Charles. Yeah, I should have heard Naomi say Leclerc today and I was like, isn't it Leclerc? Or is it Leclerc? It's whatever you want it to be. I guess. I'm not learning these pronunciations from fucking Crofty, right?

No, he screws up a lot too. Yeah? I believe he said that, no, yeah, he said George Russell was in a Williams, then he corrected himself to McLaren. Yeah, summer break, they're all coming back. It's fine. It's only two weeks, right? I think it was like a full month. Three. Four. It's only two weeks, right? I think it was a full month.

It's like a whole month, yeah. Danny Rick was in LA. Last race was July 31st. Yeah, and signs learn to foil a board, so that's a good amount of time. I also heard that he was learning signs language. Really?

I don't know if I introduced myself. I'm Casey. Hold on. I think Pyle's mic turned off again because you didn't really laugh at Jeff's joke. No, we're actually kind of into it. Yeah, because Jeff made the signs language joke and it wasn't a reaction. So I couldn't tell if it had turned off or not. Yeah, no, it's working fine

it's working it's picking up every every every breath so uh all right let's uh let's talk about this race huh we got uh what was it the belgian grand prix the rolex belgian grand prix oh wow that must be your favorite race. They all have Rolex branding on them. No, this was the Rolex Grand Prix. This was the Rolex Pirelli Belgian Grand Prix. Jeff, do you want to hit us with your

track-based joke that you texted the group? Oh, I said this track doesn't look very relaxing. You know, spa and all the most altitude i mean i mean can you pronounce can anyone pronounce the full name of this track correctly spa franco sham spa frank ocean Spa Francochamp. Spa Francochamp. That's close. Francochamp.

I didn't even know spa was in. Francochamp. It's French. It's the French part of Belgium. Interesting. I had a joke about this. Yeah, go for it. I said, I think spa looks awesome. It sucks that it's in belgium

why i don't know i just think belgium's really boring place i do want to go to spa it looks awesome it looks like there's some geopolitical thing that i'm unaware of in regards to the french region of bel Belgium, but it's just that you think it's boring. Yeah, it looks beautiful. I don't think they should have only anti-Belgium podcast. Well, the whole thing is

like, should it be taken off at all? Would you say that you Brussels at Belgium? Like Brussels? Brussels at the thought of Belgium. would you say that you brussel at belgium like brussel brussel at the thought of belgium i just think it seems like a very boring country and there would be nothing else to do except but in all seriousness i really do think that belgium sucks serious ass doubling down all jokes aside but next year it's still on the calendar

that was that was a point of yeah they made a point to say that indecision for a while But next year, it's still on the calendar. That was a point of indecision for a while. I was just going to say that I noticed during qualifiers and practice, they talked about how they changed the track. They added that big gravel trap area area and that really seemed to uh affect the race today a bit on valtteri botas's birthday no less he got stuck in the gravel not cool and it's i i hate to say this but the race is not even the first DNF, the last DNF that Bottas is going to get today. Because I think that him not finishing at the race is going to haunt him so much that when he goes to have birthday sex tonight, he's also not going to finish. Wow.

Wow. Yeah. A DNF on your birthday sex. Imagine that. I do think his wife p posted him trying to find it. I briefly saw another naked photo of him on Instagram. So I think he's

probably going to be fine. Whatever the equivalent of this is going to happen to his wife. Getting rammed? Yeah, who's his wife in that photo? Just kind of like going oh god i'm gonna get this thing back on track back on track very nice thank you so much uh so we're gonna talk about the race i believe we're gonna go in reverse order yeah cool how's that sound to you

guys love it yeah but i do need to remember everyone's place oh i got the right here hamilton was uh last at last yeah you know uh i feel like mook going in reverse order for this race, it's like the DNFs are what was the most exciting thing about the race. It was the very beginning of the race, and then everything just kind of ended up being as if it was a standard qualifier or something, like all the back of the track stuff, like all the excitement that I thought was going to happen about like, wow, Max has to like race to the front to get points.

And then like the safety car just like reset everything back to normal. Yeah. Max raced to the front in like the first five laps. It's fucking insane. I do feel like they gave him too much credit because of that safety car. Yeah.

But he did like it was impressive how quickly it happened. But it was like a lot of it was the safety car. But I mean, he made up like five places off the start, right? He was on mediums, I think. Oh, no, he was on softs. It was like he and Carlos were the only people on softs. So like for the restart, I mean, I don't know. But it was cool. It's like he and Carlos were the only people on soft. So like for the restart, I mean, I don't know, but it was cool.

It's fine. LeClaire was on soft to start. I did feel really bad for Hamilton. No, Carlos was. Yeah. Yeah. Speaking of Hamilton,

he came in 20th DNF. We saw he went flying through the air a little bit. Do you guys feel like he, I guess in his post race, he just took credit or took the blame for that accident. He's like, yeah, he's in my blind spot. I thought it was really cool. In my notes, I have Lewis, good! And then I have depressed!

And then I have, it doesn't really matter what he said, which is what he said yeah to stop the interviewer from they're trying like trying to dig up drama between him and Fernando and then I was like that was that's cool yeah for a guy who just crashed into somebody Fernando like spent a long time like it was a pretty nuanced insult from from the car like in the middle of one in the pocket already yeah i feel like he said he has said that about lewis before and that was his opportunity to say it over the radio wait what did he say he said he only knows how to race from the front yeah well no it's he specifically he said this guy only knows how to drive and start in first. Yeah.

Which is like. He also called him an idiot. Lewis Hamilton won the Brazilian Grand Prix from basically like 25th place, which is impossible. In the back. And then he had like a sixth place penalty or something crazy like that. Yeah. That was awesome. That was a good race.

Also, Hamilton refused to go to the medical tent or something like that so like the alarm in his car went off because it was such an intense smash for him and like now i guess he got like a warning from the fia for not yeah going which is but also like did the i wonder if the metal car tried to pick him up on his walk back through the forest. He knew what he needed, which was a walk through the woods. He just needed to be alone with his thoughts for a little bit. I liked that they called him forlorn looking when he was walking back. I'd like to see him at an aquarium sort of being triggered by the porpoises. Because that's still the issue with Mercedes right now, right?

Yeah. I think there's just everything is an issue. Yeah. It seemed like today a lot of drivers were dealing with porpoising. Everyone seemed real bouncy out there. Yeah. And some of the drivers lack porpoise. A sense of porpoise, anyway.

Right, right. Well, Daniel Ricciardo, we'll talk about that. He has a lack of porpoise. Yeah. Let's keep moving through this grid. We got Bottas in 19th, also DNF. I don't 19th also DNF. I don't remember how he DNF'd.

What happened there? He DNF'd because he was just avoiding the collision. Who was it? Between Latifi and... Yeah, Latifi spun out. And did his best to crash into Valtteri. Yeah, seemingly. And then they were both kind of off the track

and then you just see Latifi speed away. It was pretty funny. Yeah, basically just didn't do anything. There wasn't even a collusion, right? It was just like... Latifi tried to deliver a birthday card. It was like screaming happy birthday. Hunking his horn, it's like screaming happy birthday birthday song as he joined as he rejoins the race suffering no fucking consequences but also no rewards yeah i mean i guess finishing the race is a reward yeah i think the only person

who does not have points yet this season yes latifi i don't have those points up but he did come in 18th so that he's next on our grid so yeah he's also i mean the amazing thing about latifi is that he's so inconsequential but like creates so much shit around him that he's basically a factor in every single race. Yeah. Yeah. There's, there's nobody else like that.

That is like the worst driver, but also so bad that they like cause fucking mishaps for everybody. He has the shite energy for sure. What kind of touches do you have Jeff? He has the shite-est touch. So everything he turns, touches turns to shit. That's good. Shietest touch, I like that a lot.

Did you just scroll up your phone? Was that on there? No, that was Kayla playing Wordle. Yeah. Which, can some administrator take me out of that fucking channel? I don't play Wordle at all. I can't leave it because I'm a recurring guest or whatever. That's still going on, that channel?

Oh my god. Well, on that channel it's mostly Marika and Kayla hosting the Framed results. I've been so proud of myself because I followed Jake's unsolicited advice from If I Were You to unsubscribe from emails. I've been getting no notifications except for Kayla and fucking Marika doing like the pictorial or whatever. You can mute channels. Okay, I'll do that. So you can just do that.

I'll remove you from the channel. I'm an admin. I'll remove you. I know that Zen mindset that you're going for. She wants out. Yeah, you guys, I mean, this is an F1 podcast, but Marika, i'm sorry you single-handedly ruined the wordle slack channel i know okay we talked about it all right cool it's

fine yeah i still play wordle but i i've like created a system where i'm just trying to do it as fast as possible i do the same three words for the first three things it gets me like all five letters and then i'm like okay can i figure this out number four i usually do and i'm done in like less than a minute it's more of a speed thing for me now right yeah i didn't the new way i do it is i guess two words and if i don't really know what's happening after that i just don't play for the day and that's right nice and that's sort of a dnf in a different way yeah yeah i do a dnf and then uh i go and try to have sex with jill and i can't get hard and i um the safety cars to come by uh number 17 on the grid mick schumacher yeah he had a pretty good moment I think with Latifi where he

passed him I was really proud of him it's like a nice clean pass somewhere in the middle of the race I've got a nickname for Mick it's the prodigal dumb that's very good he's got real he's got real like golden retriever puppy energy yeah so i guess yeah i think it's like a happy dumb yeah but what schumacher is i think is what

um george russell wants everyone to think he is. Yeah. George Russell wants to be the little golden boy, but Schumacher actually just is. So what is George actually then? A better driver? Yeah, he's a better driver for sure. Oh, yeah. He's kind of like a hollow man. Yeah, it's the thing of like George Russell.

Yeah, like what's your problem with me, man? Do you not like me? And it's like, I don't think about you. Everyone's supposed to like me. I'm George Russell. Yeah. Also, like, isn't his girlfriend like insanely hot, but he looks like a frog?

He's kind of hot. All their girlfriends girlfriend insanely hot, but he looks like a frog? He's kind of hot. All their girlfriends are insanely hot. But I think his is specifically really attractive, and he, to me, looks like some kind of amphibian. Max's girlfriend isn't hot. Well, he's busted as fuck. Max's girlfriend is a whole other thing that will take too long to get into it's its own segment it really is uh number 16 on the grid uh another Haas Kevin Magnuson

what happened to him yeah I feel like it's for haas didn't we feel like in the time at the beginning of the season like they're they're finishing in the points we're like oh my god like for and haas that's that's what this season's gonna be a couple weeks ago it seemed like uh haas was getting faster and and those those haas boys were like given some interesting soundbites, some really fun, like, we're going to win, even though it's like, you're not. But I love the energy.

I mean, yeah. Yeah, I feel like, I don't remember if it was yesterday during qualifying or today that they were talking to, uh, good there. And I feel like he felt, he seemed like he felt pretty confident when they were doing, when they were doing like the pit wall conversations.

He always seems confident. And that's, that's honestly why I think he's my favorite. One character. Yeah, for sure. I feel like every Friday of the race weekend yeah he thinks that they might get like they might get a podium and then every sunday evening he's like he wants to

kill himself like he needs to be a little more even keeled i think and monday morning he forgets what happened yeah he just does it all over again. Exactly. It's pretty baller. Number 15. Oh, this is so sad. Here we go. I've got a lot to say. P6 to P15.

Danny Ricardo. He had a good race for most of it. I mean, like he still fell down to like 9, 10, 8, 9, 10. I didn't notice what happened that got him back to 15. Yeah, I don't know either. And the week after, or the second week after they announced he's not returning to McLaren, I was like, what if he gets P6 or stays at least in the points? Yeah.

Would be great, but nay. Yeah, I was hoping for a revenge place. Yeah, I did want him to win a bit. And then like, it looks like he only did one pit stop. That's really sad. I don't know what that is. That's probably why,

because his tires are gone. Yeah. But it made me sad hearing the commentators being like, there might be a place for Daniel Ricciardo at Williams. I'm like, are you kidding me just retire and they're like yeah williams hasse hasse would be cool i think i don't know i mean house i the house of car i am admittedly really like whatever about daniel ricardo but i feel like he should

have just retired a long time ago i don't know like the fact that he jumped from so many different teams is just like what are you what are you doing i agree i don't think he should have left reno this time period yeah leaving reno was was his... He shouldn't have left Red Bull. Yeah, that was so stupid. That was his own choice. That's kind of cuckoo. I was never... I didn't brussel at confident Ricardo,

but I didn't really think about him. I really feel for sad Ricardo. Yeah. When Danny is sad, I'm just like, I feel bad. I really feel for sad Ricardo. Yeah. When Danny is sad, I'm just like, I feel bad. I'm a real Danny empath. Did you guys see the video that he posted where he's like, hey, guys, just want you to hear it from me.

You're the last person I'm hearing it from. So, so sad. Yeah. The fake smiles. Even in that video, when he's talking about like i don't know what my future holds he it like really seems like he's like he really doesn't know it might be my last season just because i might not have a team to go to is what i read between the lines and it's like he's perfect for formula he is perfect for me it's just like that personality is like it needs people like that yeah just wacky it's already like pretty wacky

yeah yeah i don't think he has enough of a personality to be like a standout racer or like he's not like a media star to me yeah he's basically like he's the most charismatic formula one driver we're like you know not a lot of the other ones are george russell cecco and george russell yeah uh he has a tv show being made about him or something though like a sitcom or something Hulu show wait a Danny Ricardo Hulu show yeah I don't know if it's about him but he's like working on a Hulu show I thought

it was a Formula One sitcom I mean I think yeah it's a Formula One scripted series in the works at Hulu with Daniel Ricardo developing yeah I would love to I'm gonna I'll email my It's a Formula One scripted series in the works at Hulu with Daniel Ricciardo developing. Which Jake, you really should staff on. Yeah, I would love to. I'll email my agent after this. Maybe she'll finally get back to me.

Yeah. He seems like a great fit for TV. It seems like if he retires from racing, I'll be seeing this guy around on Netflix or Hulu. I don't know. He'll bring Quibi back or something Paramount Plus for sure Paramount Plus for sure Paramount Plus uh next on the grid we've got Zoe Guan Yu? Joe Guan Yu? Zoe Guan Yu? Joe. Joe. Just Gwen U. And I'm honestly basing it off of what David Croft says. So I could also be wrong. But I remember there was a whole thing at the beginning of the season where like they were explaining how to say his name, but then kept messing it up.

It was like, this shouldn't be this hard, guys. Yeah. We have to have him on the podcast. It's the only way we can be this hard, guys. Yeah. We have to have him on the podcast. It's the only way we can know for sure. Yeah. Yeah. He seems really cool. Yeah.

He finished 14th. Yeah. Good race. Qualified 13th. That I predicted he wouldn't finish. DNF. Yeah. So better turnout than Jake predicted.

And really, that's all you can ask for yeah i owe you two apologies sir uh next up number 13 yuki sunoda boo i hate yuki you hate him i like him why do you hate Yuki? Him in the Drives to Survive season four, I was just like, he's such a little shit. Yeah. Yeah, he's a literal child. He's so young, though. Don't, right?

I don't, well, he's not that young. He's like fucking 19. That's pretty young to be driving race cars internationally. Old enough to know that you shouldn't just be eating Dunkaroos all the time or whatever. He has Justin Bieber energy. Remember the story of Justin Bieber pissing in a mop bucket backstage or whatever? Yeah.

That's the type of shit that Tsunoda would do. He's just kind of like a dickhead, but that bodes well for his glow up when he's like 28 and he has a face tattoo. It's just really cool i mean also also we have to look at max verstappen who like three years ago punched esteban akon like and now it's like relatively even keel so verstappen is even keel i mean in comparison to three years ago verstappen yeah i staff. It's not punching anyone anymore.

It helps if you're like over 100 points in the lead for the driver's championship. I mean, I don't know. If Helmut Marko tried to find a psychiatrist for Yuki, maybe that's what he did for Verstappen. Maybe the team psychiatrist

is doing great stuff. That's what I'm saying, though. Don't make this fucking 80-year-old bag babysit you and teach you manners. I hate Helmut Marko. Helmut Marko sucks. It's not Cotillion, it's Formula One. You should come ready and know how to show up for your work where you get paid so much. What prepares you to be in Formula One as an 18-year-old? and know how to show up for your work where you get paid so much.

What prepares you to be in Formula One as an 18-year-old? Come ready? I don't know what history was before Formula One. So yeah, what was he driving before Formula One? Was he in Formula Three? I think he had a Passat. I think they come through the driver's program, right? Because it's Red Bull's driver's program. I mean, it's AlphaTauri.

He did the Formula 3 series in 2019 and then the Toyota Racing series in 2020, which I guess is Formula 2? Question mark? I don't know. I'm looking at Wikipedia. So he did some of them, but yeah, he was still a child. Still is a child, I would say.

Yeah. He should still be karting. Stay in your lane, Yuki. He doesn't quite have Gen Z energy. It's still, it's like below Gen Z energy is what I get from him. Oh, you think he's, what's the next one? Zoomer? Alpha?

Isn't it like Generation Alpha or something isn't that we're i think we're creating new generations like a way too close yeah because everyone's trying to be independent they want to distance themselves yeah uh anyway pretty good finish for him, I guess, considering he started in the pit lane. But, you know. Yeah. Next up, we got Lando Norris. He came in 12th. So Lando Norris, I think, has the most boy energy of anyone. Like, he really doesn't seem to have experienced anything in his life

except being in the garage at f1 it's f1 and like twitch streaming which is the most gen z energy i like to call him lando norris because it's a no from me doc i love lando dog lando lando's my my dumb little son yeah well i think my like my all-time favorite thing that happened to lando when was when he was leading the race they told him to pit for the inters this is the russian grand prix right uh yeah told him to pit for the inters he said shut up shut up shut up then he spun out and ended up finishing like uh fifth or seventh or something like i loved that i love it for that moment.

But you can't be angry at him, though. It's not like he's an adult. That's the thing. It's like, you're like, oh, you're young and making mistakes. Never mind that he cost that team, like, millions of dollars or whatever because he did that. It's still fun to watch. How old is Lando? I think he's 37.

There's no way. I thought he's 37 there's no way I thought he was 8 I've seen him on YouTube and Twitch so I assume he's like 15 yeah he's 22 the thing with Lando and maybe a little older than Yuki I don't know about Yuki but I know that with Lando like part of his

pits like they actually started calling it the shit lane for him because it's like changing tires and his diapers god damn he also had like a 10 second pit stop this this race for some reason which that was yuki yeah oh that was yuki never mind that actually yeah we'll get we'll come back to that uh yeah let's move along to uh our 11 place. We also didn't talk about it's too late for Plan G. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's got to be the radio call of the day.

Yeah, I think so, too. He was just, like, stuck in a DRS train the entire race. I think that's what mostly happened to him, which sucks. Yeah, piece of shit shit 11th on the grid was lance stroll yes dude everyone has a favorite driver and then a second favorite driver uh and for me my second favorite driver is lance friggin stroll there's no way why is that i honestly well because i it's it started as a joke but i feel like the the calling nicholas latifi the go tf and like he basically i feel like you know his dad also got him a place on on the grid and he really sucks and strolls dad got him a place on the grid and he just kind of sucks. So that's, I feel like that's, it's nepotism at its best.

Yeah. Also, I mean, I guess Stroll's dad got him a place on the grid by buying a whole team. Yeah. Like Latifi, I guess, kind of his dad sponsors Williams. Yeah. I feel like he must sponsor them a lot yeah

it's also wild because Latifi like grew up karting with Lance and Max like there's photos of them like when they were like 15 wearing cargo shorts in Florida like oh but he's so bad in comparison.

It's like, what went wrong? Yeah, what's wrong with the Canadians? He doesn't have it. I don't know. Yeah, what did Crofty say? Two Canadians starting in the top 10 for the first time in Formula 1. It's got to be the most useless stat.

Incredible stat. Incredible. The self-awareness. Iawareness keeping track of every double canadian start and this is the highest i truly i tried typing out all of the useless stats that they were saying when they were going through the starting grid impossible they're a mile a minute yeah so there's so many it's crazy charles Leclerc never finished on a podium from outside seventh. All I have is max

16th or lower podium three times to Aston Martin's top 10 first time of the season. And then I gave up. Right. Next on the grid we've got Albon in at 10th i'm proud of him i i was my prediction would have been an albon win just because i wanted it but i'm glad he got a point

i'm kind of pissed that he took that point from Lance, but there's another race. There's always another race. There's always another race. Moving on past Albon, I feel like 7th, 8th, and 9th, this was like these three guys had my favorite moment of the race. Let's start with 9 know ninth place pierre gasly uh but they were they had that moment where they were like all three of them were together yeah oh three abreast yeah that's good yeah and and i can't remember who who ended up in front

but they were like all three overtaking each other in one turn and i was like this is some real driving i have in my notes uh based on another uh crafty quote that it was the second time in this race that esty besty espanol god took two cars in one corner but it really every every thing that they said about that was like slightly too sexual that's the opposite of did not finish three abreast I can't remember the first way that he said it

but it was also a little weird but I can't say this Nevermind What can you not say Based on the stuff that you have felt fine saying He's got his hand down his pants In my pocket Also I don't know what to do with this arm

This is a video podcast right We're releasing this as a video It was going to be a pun on the C word with Ocon. That's good. That's very fun. Marika can say it. Yeah, I'm not going to, but it's good. I don't know the origin of SD Bestie,

but that is a nickname for him that I see a lot online. So I'm co-opting it, even though I don't really like him. Yeah, I don't really have an opinion. Like they're supposed to be hot. I'm sorry. Yeah. We're losing Vettel. Vettel you think is hot?

Vettel looks like he works at a beet farm. No, he's not hot. Vettel came in A-B. Vettel is gran is hot? Vettel looks like he works at a beet farm No he's not hot Vettel is granola He's crunchy He's casual Just rolled out of bed He's many good things but he's not hot He's not remotely hot

I think it's interesting his progression over F1 How he looks He looks like maybe the most different of anybody He started really like I feel like he kind of had a punk vibe early on over F1, how he looks, he looks like maybe the most different of anybody in their career. I feel like he kind of had a punk vibe early on and now has progressed to this crunchy granola.

And now he has tons of hair. Miracle grow. Interesting. Didn't the same thing happen to Lewis Hamilton? I think Lewis Hamilton is doing something, yeah. They've all got the same guy as LeBron doing something to his hair I think so

doing something to get it back oh yeah definitely I'd have to see some comparison photos before I I'll send one to the chat you guys it's incriminating I do want I'll send one to the chat, you guys.

Incriminating. I do want to know more about Esteban Ocon's feud with Pierre Gasly. They're like enemies. Esteban Ocon came in seventh. Yeah. Well, anytime there's just any

battle between them I hope that it ends in some sort of fight because I know that they don't like each other is it because they're both French is it some sort of it's got a French rivalry yeah I think it's like the growing up

with each other rivalry wow look at this hairline. Lewis Hamilton. Yeah, I think, I mean, if I were making a million dollars, I'd also get a sick hair transplant. It looks really good on him. Yeah.

He looks so much better. When was that first photo taken? It looks like a long time ago Because he's not in a Mercedes form It's taken 30 years in the future Wow Where's my grid?

Here it is Number six Charles Leclerc Charles Leclerc Dev Charles Leclerc. Devastating. Idiot. I mean, fucking dumbasses. What a dumb strategy.

Yep. They all do themselves every week. I can't believe what I saw. And I feel that way every week I've been watching. This one was like, I felt like I was playing a video game and making a bad choice. Like the screen pops up, like hit A or B if you want to pit right now or whatever. And you're just being like, uh, B. It's like the strategy a lot of times is like, okay, the tire strategy was really shitty.

And it took half a race to play out. This was just like, oh, we could get the fastest lap on the last lap let's just do it and yeah without looking like at any of the times or anything it's just so insane and it cost them what like three points uh yeah right because he lost the spot lost the place yeah what happened was he's been coming out of the lap or out of the pit right yeah yeah going in i don't know which side actually i think he was speeding out of the pit yeah it's also so funny that they're doing all this like all right let's get this point because it's critical in our in our championship battle with verstappen it's just like you guys that's not it's you know it's

15 points instead of 12 yeah and. And also you're just like, it's clear that you're not going to fucking contend. Yeah. Ferrari really is like the New York Knicks of Formula One. Oh, yeah. That's a good comp. Yeah. At this point, Charles is like behind by 98 points and it's insane carlos is uh catching up

to charles uh charles has 186 points carlos has 171 yeah yeah like so charles might not even end up on the podium yeah i mean god it's i feel like this he just doesn't now he doesn't even have the energy to primal scream he's like giving up that much yeah i was trying to find uh his like reaction at the end of the race but i can't it's gotta just be a sigh it's gotta just be like a whatever yeah dead silence i mean it would it's pretty possible that carlos is going to pass him in the points he passed him last year he got more points than him like yeah they're really fucking charles over i say as more of a carlos fan i mean to keep using sex as an analogy, I just feel like Charles blows his load too early. He's a premature Leclerc-lilator.

That's fascinating. It's fascinating that you bring that up. I feel like we're talking more about Ferrari strategy. And you are talking about Leclerc coming early. Yeah. It's just two years in a row where he loses steam. I guess I could have just said that.

Two hours, 45 minutes of sleep. Number fifth. Number fifth. Fifth on the grid. Fernandoando alonso yeah good good a good race from our guy immediately a great a great start for him uh right into the crash with lewis he was doing great we established was not his fault didn't have to be so mean about it over radio i don't know i always i i feel like i put too many eggs in my fernando basket every race and i'm like he's gonna tear shit up and then he doesn't do anything that I want him to do

we want him battling with the Red Bulls but instead he's like I'm not gonna fuck with them I'm gonna fuck with everybody else yeah it sucks I've enjoyed him coming back and being good though and I like him doing it in an Alpine not anymore not for long but good in an Alpine. Not anymore.

Not for long. But good finish for Alpine overall. Wait, sorry, Jeff. Do you not know any of the... I only knew that... I haven't looked at the signings. Oh, my God. The biggest drama of the season.

I only followed Riccardo and, you know, I know Ferrari's sticking the same. Well, but that does mean that Riccardo could go back to Alpine, the biggest drama of the season i only followed ricardo and you know i know ferrari sticking same well but that does mean that ricardo could go back to alpine which is exciting yeah yeah i want to see that i want to see him in alpine i don't want to see him in a fucking hoss yeah even though he is a hoss yeah i'd like to see ricardo in an alpine i think that's good storytelling uh and after all f1 is about really, at the end of the day. It's about stories and ejaculating on time exactly when you need to. Yes.

Yeah. Number four. I don't know. Go ahead, Marika. No, I was just going to say that when I went to the Canadian Grand Prix and he got second, my friend and I were so excited. My friend bought his Alpine jersey. He was like, let's go. He's going to kill Max.

Can't wait to watch this. And he did absolutely nothing, and now I just don't trust him. Wait, so what is the drama he's retiring again no he's moving he's moving to aston martin but it was announced in like he's taking vettel's seat um vettel's retiring vettel's retiring he's taking Alpine's cars are faster Right Yeah I mean Currently that is the case And he's kind of crazy for it but the way it was announced

Was like Alpine didn't know That he was moving It was very funny Yeah it was like right in the middle of contract All the contract negotiation stuff He kind of like waited to the last minute Announced it early and then Pieced out on vacation and like left a bunch of drama. And then people were like, oh, Oscar Piastri is going to take his place at Alpine. And then Oscar was like, no, I'm not.

Now there's just a lot of questions, but's probably a probably a pretty big contender for the mclaren seat from my understanding and that's what you missed on glee alpian looks so dumb in this whole thing they lose alonso they announce piastri he says he's not coming and they're like all right well guess what fuck you guys we're gonna get danny ricardo. It's like, wow. The guy that's finishing 15th in the McLaren. Great. Good stuff. Sad Danny coming to the team. Fourth, we got George Russell.

Do you mean Mr. Consistency? Damn it, I was going to say that. See, you said Mr. Consistency And I immediately went to like viscosity Because he looks like milk I said Mr. Consistency He gave us a run for our money I was scared

I was scared he was going to catch up on Carlos He had a good race He had a good race. Yeah. He had a good race. I mean, yeah, he always has a good race. I think he's one of the better drivers out there. Yeah. It's really interesting to see him go.

I mean, Hamilton didn't finish this week, but him and Hamilton being almost on equal footing in the Mercedes does show his mettle as a driver, I would say. Yeah, I mean, is he also shitting on the car as much as Hamilton has been? Lewis is like, this car sucks. No, but he was in a Williams. Right. And Hamilton was in the best car possible.

Yeah, that's true but it is a weird yeah there's a weird dichotomy where it's like who is actually doing better if they can adapt to this car but it seems like the car is just also terrible so yeah the car does seem bad but even apparently it's like still doing well in it when he when he's i don't know it seems like he can just will the car to be better yeah yeah apparently he was um at the track until midnight burning the midnight oil with the team trying to make the car better i love those parts of drive to survive where he's like with all the techs and he's just like leaning over looking at a computer screen but not really doing anything just kind of being there yeah well i think he's like very into that sort of thing which is cool i think george russell just always assumes that he has a new york times

profile going on at him and that's like that's that's how he conducts himself all the time. George Russell or Lewis Hamilton? George Russell. I think he's just always acting like he's being profiled. Like when Zhou Guan Yu flipped over and Russell just like sprinted over like he could help. Yeah. Yeah. That is. over and uh russell just like sprinted over like he could help yeah yeah yeah that is and then i think he posted a photo on instagram of him running over and he's like great race i'm glad everything worked out yeah dude i know why you made it over he made a huge deal after that moment of like i mean they basically were like you can't restart and he was so upset about it which is fair but also like you got out of your car

did you think they were gonna give you a pass for this right and what did you think you would do if you got over there that the safety people weren't doing. He also catches fire. It's so fun if he twisted his ankle jumping on that, like, big tire stack. Did you know he's, like, the head of the... He also falls between the fence. He's, like, the head of the driver's, like, group or whatever. He's, like, their spokesperson. So, like, when the drivers have, like... This guy sucks.

Yeah, when the drivers have, like when the drivers have like a grievance they like all meet together and he like like whatever it was earlier this season when it was i don't know porpoising or maybe it was even the first race when it was this season where it was got bombed right when there was like a yeah yeah they had the drivers met and stuff and like he was like came out and like gave a statement or whatever. And I'm just like, why are you the mouthpiece? You're like the last person. And it's like, yeah, you can definitely tell that he really likes that.

Yeah. Yeah. He likes the spotlight. He wants to be the mouthpiece. He wants to be the face of the sport. Yeah. I think. We're really shitting on everybody today. I like him. I like him too. He's doing it the right way.

He's trying to be such a good guy that everyone likes him. So it's kind of fake and I can see through it. But at the same time, you are actually being a really nice guy all the time. There is a genuine aspect to it it's just like you're doing a little too much yeah like you can literally try hard right yeah you can definitely see the uh the intention behind everything yeah i feel that way uh when i see john cena uh do anything, anytime he does press or something, when he was in the Peacemaker costume everywhere, that felt so calculated

and he's like, well, we looked at the numbers and everyone decided this would be very funny if I did this. And so, yeah, I get that same sort of like, okay, George Russell, sure, yeah. You are this nice guy. Right right he's a robot who's like calculated how to make or an alien that's like studied oh this is how you get to get people

to like you so i will do it to a t yeah i also say him with his shirt off all the time all the time all the time yeah and he's ripped but he's not stacked yeah yeah he's just he's a skinny guy yeah right which is probably what you need to be but right when you're sweating out like seven pounds of water every single race uh all right we are at the podium now we've got carlos signs in number three my guys there it is 55 55 carlos signs jr you mean carlos signs jr i apologize don't forget he has an overbearing father do you have to have that to be an f1 it It seems like maybe you do need some sort of very... Yeah. Yeah.

Absolutely, you need to have a daddy issue. They invested a lot in it. Is there a single person that has a healthy relationship with their dad on this grid? It does not seem like it. Absolutely not. I mean, probably Lewis Hamilton, but there's also probably a little something there. Yeah. I think Lewis Hamilton's story is the most wholesome and, like, good.

And his dad seems like a good person. But, yeah. Yeah, it's like, you have to start so young that, are you even that into it as a kid? I mean, you have to be, like, sure, this is what you want to do. Yeah. But it must come from a little bit, the parents being like, wouldn't it be fun if we spent several thousand dollars on a souped-up cart and strapped you into it?

Oh, you're really into this carting thing. I'll quit my job and move to Europe with you. Yeah. Yeah. I think you have to be way too invested in your kid. Yeah. Yeah. I think you have to be way too invested in your kid. I mean, I feel like it's like that for most sports. Like how many little leaguers are really like,

I guess I want to be a baseball player, you know, sort of thing. It's just like these dads are way richer. So they're like, yeah, we could put you in a car instead of buying you a bat. Yeah. Like when I was little, I also wanted to be a professional baseball player, but my parents just probably saw me playing t-ball and they're like, well, that's not going to happen. So like dad's going to keep on being a tax lawyer, Jake. I think we know where the money's coming from. Here's a microphone, Jake.

See if you could talk into this for a while. Those rinky dink children's microphones that does like an echo the plastic one go talk to yourself in the mirror i mean i feel like carlos came in i don't know if you read any of his like pre-race interviews but he was like very much like red bull is going to beat us today. Yeah. Even, yeah, afterwards. I mean, I think that, I don't know. I was confused why they did the second stop onto hards, but I guess it was like, you know,

he said after the race that the tire degradation was just way too much and he was slipping and sliding. His package was fucked, guys. Yeah. They used the wrong package. They used the wrong package. Valtteri style. I also, like, I don't remember if this was a message to Charles or Carlos.

It might have actually been to Charles, but the engineer was like, just try your best. It's like, you're trying to win a championship. What do you mean, just try your best? What are you talking about? We're all very proud of you over here. He had some response where he was just like,

I'm pushing a lot, guys. Yeah, I'm doing everything I can. The car isn't good yeah um i feel i feel bad for him but at the same time i feel like he's more consistent than charles yeah it seems like it's not really charles's fault i don't know i think even i was trying i'm still trying to find like uh like the post racerace interviews with Charles, and all I've seen so far is that he was like, the pit lane thing was my fault.

It was a mistake that I made. I feel like Matteo is holding him at gunpoint. Yeah, he's like a sniper. We did nothing wrong. And you don't tell them anything. It's hard to see. Oh, go ahead. Well, the pit lane thing is weird. Isn't there just a button you press to prevent you from speeding in the pit lane yeah and what did he just turn

off the button too early or i don't know exactly how that part of it works there's like a pit lane mode fernando was gonna pass him so he kind of pushed it yeah that's what i but you know what it looked like to me like should I break the rules right now? Like, it seems like, I don't know. There's always, in every sport, there's a little bit of cheating to see how much you can get away with, especially in a racing scenario. There's a lot of cheating in this sport. There's a lot of cheating. Yeah, it seems like every race, everyone's just trying to get away with something, just like a little bit.

What kind of edge can I get? I agree. Video podcast. Okay. Jake is peeing right now. But we're going to go ahead and talk about our number two guy. Checo came in second. I'm tired of Checo.

I'm tired of Sergio Perez. I'm over him. I don't dislike him. I'm just tired of him. Yeah. In what in what way? Like driving his personality yeah he's like his driving because i just get annoyed when he passes carlos uh his personality because he's kind he's just

very bland but then like i don't know there's a weird thing where like i do i really feel for him with the max situation because he is so close or he like was so close to him in the points where like he could in theory be a championship contender uh so every time that he like comes in second to max i'm like that's a bummer man sorry about it but then i also think about how he's like literally 32 years old and like so boring and i'm like yeah how are you like this red bull yeah yeah i have in my notes uh perez immediately losing three places hot um his start was terrible i liked how they were like oh checo is like angling himself 20 degrees towards the racing line and then fernando immediately got ahead of him he immediately

loses three places also like carlos was angled they were like this at the start yeah it was great so also wasn't he about to retire two seasons ago and then Red Bull picked him up? I think it was just like he was without a seat, maybe. So I was rooting for him to not have a seat. Two years ago? I mean, I think I've only stopped liking him when he came to Red Bull. I mean, once he came to Red Bull, I was like, see?

Because he was in the pink and blue cars right yeah racing point or whatever racing point force force india for force india yeah whichever it was yeah and that those were just they were so annoying the way they drove the way he drives so annoying worse in the middle of the pack, I'll say, but also annoying because it's Red Bull and they're winning. Yeah, but I will say that I like when... So say like Carlos is in first and Checo is in second and Checo is just like defending somebody who's trying to pass him. I love when that kind of thing is happening

because Checo will hold up a race and cause some problems. So like you can count on him to work in your favor sometimes. But when he's, but when it's happening and it's not in your favor, you're pissed. Cause he's just, he seems like a great number two driver. Like every team would want him as their number two driver.

Right. Like he'll, Max will just pass you and Checo will frustrate you. And that, that's kind of like, I mean, Checo frustrates Max. Like when Max is behind him, cause he'll, Max will just pass you and check. Go frustrate you. And that, that's kind of like, I mean, check. Go frustrates Max.

Like when Max is behind him, he's like, we're going way too slow. Like Max only gets angry on the radio. He never celebrates. So anytime he's like yelling on the radio, you know, it's because he's angry at like his own teammate.

Even, even though it's like lap, dude, you started like P 14 and it's like like five and you're in like fourth place and you're like screaming at your teammates. Like, okay. You can totally tell at the end of the race too when they finish and they're just like, all right, well done. Well done, Max. That's P1.

And he just goes, ha ha. Yes. We did it boys. Another good one. You've been yelling at me all race man I'm fucking pissed at you He's like leave me alone don't talk to me And then Christian Horner comes over

The radio at the end of the race And it sounds like he's been scripting his line The entire race You're in a class of your own Max Do you think that Christian Horner pictures Max when he fucks Ginger Spice? Yes. Yeah.

I think so too. Oh, that's who his wife is. Yeah. He's always wearing white at races. Anytime she's on a cream number or a white number, I don't understand it. Cream number. Christian Horner is like's he's one of the sorest losers i've ever seen and he's also bad when he's winning so he's just a piece of

smug i mean he's the perfect villain i i really do truly love him for that yeah anytime he comes over the radio or is like doing he's always like the first to get a post race interview. He had ESPN just like playing in the background. Immediately they found him. Like he loves to talk and I admire that. I admire that in him. The thing is, I feel like he's just Marty's evil twin.

Let's unpack that I just feel like they have the same energy but Christian's the worst version yeah there's like a quietness to them sometimes and then it's like Marty will like often have something rehearsed for a meeting I feel like

and he wants to be the first person interviewed at like conventions absolutely drag him when they get demoted you can't get any lower man um yeah so so yeah we've been talking about max verstappen who is our final person on the grid he came in first yeah uh not really a surprise but also kind of a surprise just because of where he started in the race but it's like who can touch him you know yeah it feels like he's driving a different car i think he's a different car insane yeah yeah i drive like so fucking impressive i hate him so much it would be interesting but he's so good i wonder if so let's just imagine pier gasly is is max verstappen would we hate him as much?

Or is it like this amazing confluence of like Max Verstappen is the most annoying driver driving the best car. And it's just like that's – it's such a bad combination. Like I'm trying to imagine I would hate whoever – To me that's the perfect combination for a Formula One driver. Yeah. It's like in Talladega Nights where it's like he uh uh talladega nights where it's like uh he's uh basically what's his name sasha baron cohen's character is like oh who's this really good f1 driver coming in to nascar and he's just like this annoying really good european guy and it's like yeah this

is exactly who i would expect to be the number one driver in the world i guess lewis sorry no you can go i guess when lewis was like winning every race for like seven years not that i watched those races live but like watching the document docuseries and then watching it some of them live last year it's just like wait did i even do that i don't know you did yeah yeah i was like i don't know i didn't like him then and i but it's because they make things boring and yeah with lewis it was like i like lewis but i hate that he makes everything boring and then like the real interesting thing is everything from third place down with max it's like i hate his personality and he makes things boring yeah right so if it was ghazly it'd be it'd be not as bad i think yeah but still i also think like his fans are

fucking awful yeah i think that's another big issue yeah the orange army is scary in that sorry what don't you like the the sexism or the racism or like it's just it's only the smoke yeah i mean i hate that those are really which is really just for McLaren, right? Yeah. I mean, Lando posts on his Instagram story today like so many McLaren fans. Yeah. Laughing to himself alone in his trailer. Yeah, I don't know.

There's sometimes when I really enjoy certain... I enjoy certain things that Max does, I think that his press personality has gotten really better and kind of funny. He's like, I don't know how to describe the smile that he uses for any sort of press thing I find so fascinating and weird. And then sometimes I like when he like interacts with other drivers i think that he has cute moments with them and there was like one race a few months ago where he like uh fist bumped lewis hamilton and i was like god bless this is great i love the sport yeah i think he's definitely chilled out a little bit i mean he was like so

stressed out last season that it was like oh you're like gonna snap or something bad is going to happen and that was like more exciting but i kind of was like i don't like this person i think he's like much more likable as a person but he definitely retreated from all of the like spotlight because of, I think last season and kind of sucks. Cause like, I think he's actually probably, yeah, probably more likable and probably funnier.

I mean the cool down room, he's like, yeah, it's a great, like a normal person. So I don't know. It's like, I hope that,

you know, he becomes a little more human. Yeah. It's seeming that would be nice, but like, I don't know. It's like I hope that he becomes a little more human. Yeah. If it's seeming. That would be nice. I mean, he is. But I don't think the people around him let him, too. Yeah.

And he feels like he has to be this super serious guy because now he's the preeminent winner. But yeah, I don't know. It's boring. It is boring, for sure. And that's part of why i don't like it yeah yeah that's it's probably it's a lot easier for him to like crack a smile and be cool when he's finishing races like this too yeah so i don't know that almost says something about his personality it's like i'll be i'll be cool when i'm of winning a lot and points after today's race,

Verstappen is in the lead with 284 points. Perez is in second with 191 points. So much. The player is in third with 186. The season is over. Yeah. Yeah. It's really a fight for second and third, really. Which is super interesting.

Yeah, fourth, Carlos Sainz has 171 points. George Russell has 170. So the top five racers, it's pretty tight for second place. After Verstappen. Yeah. But Verstappen is it's done, I think, for him. He's the champion of

2022. That's my prediction. Full. And then also the Constructor standings. Red Bull is in first with 475 points. Ferrari is in first with 475 points. Ferrari is in second with 357 points. Mercedes is in third with 316.

And then in fourth, Alpine has 115. They're pretty far back there. I mean, it would be interesting to chart where Ferrari is headed in the Constructors versus where Mercedes is headed because they constructors versus where mercedes is headed because like they could very much blow it yeah oh yeah it's pretty amazing anyway just throwing that out there i think they will blow it i think i don't know i'm surprised at what they were saying uh i think carlos was saying that like zanvort is going to be a good race for them but we've only raced that all the time right yeah like i think but it was interesting that he was

like zanvort's gonna be our advantage and then mons is going to be red bull's advantage uh so which feels like it should be the reverse just slowly because it's Max's home race. But I don't know. It'll be interesting. I think they're going to blow it, though. Okay, so next up, that was the race. We're going to rate the race. Our system for rating the race goes like this if you think it's a good race

you give it a push push if you think it was a bad race you give it a box box so uh i'll go ahead and start i think this race ultimately was a box box i think it was there was like a lot of action up front and then i was very bored for an hour i'm also going to give the race a box box um there was one point where uh someone towards the end of the race i think crafty was like things are going to get interesting now between an exciting now between George and Carlos. And I was truly falling asleep. And I was like, oh, man, I'll wake up for this. I'm going to give this race a push push.

I actually thought the I thought sign starting on podium, the quality and all the penalties. It was a lot of hype. And the first and the first lap did live up to it. So I think that spike made it so that even when it leveled out, I was still pretty excited. And also the Danny leaving McLaren gave that like a fun storyline, something to root for. And the weather, the track, Spa is beautiful.

So I'm going to go ahead and give it a push push i am also gonna give it a push push i think it's like memorable like i mean a car went airborne that was dope um you know and carlos podiumed so i'm always happy to see that you know anytime it's like a one two red bull you're kind of like okay it's like a 1-2 Red Bull, you're kind of like, okay, this is like a somewhat boring race. They're 20th in Formula 1. I know, yeah. And I've seen, I think, all of them. It certainly feels that way. I don't know.

Yeah, it was kind of, the kind of middle of the race was pretty boring. You know, Charles tried to screw it up in the end in dramatic fashion. I thought that was awesome. Yes, that was fun. You got it. So, you know, it had some memorable moments for me. end in dramatic fashion. I thought that was awesome. That was fun. Um, you got it. So, you know,

it had some memorable moments for me. So I'm going to, I'll give it the push, push. Okay. I also am giving it a push, push. Uh,

and part of that is, uh, my bias of, I haven't watched a race for like two months until today. But, uh, yeah, I,

for the kind of the same reasons Pyle and Jake said, I don't have a lot to add. But seeing Danny, I was like, oh, I want Danny Rick to stick it to McLaren. I had already decided that I actually don't like McLaren as a team in the brain. But now that they're not giving him a seat. How much did you spend on that McLaren sweatshirt

that you bought? Probably like $70. But now I'm firmly a member of the Tifosi. You're the Haas. Are you even worse? We all are and we regret it but we can't leave.

Way to downgrade, bro. Yuki Tsunoda having a 10-second pit stop will always make me rate a racist push-push. Oh, fucker. Speaking of little fuckers, who was the hottie of the week? Hottie of the week. I have to give it to Valtteri Botas

because it's his birthday and he deserves it's his birthday he deserves to finish at least something this naked photo of him on Instagram on his wife's Instagram insane farmer's tan wow those two beige shooting sleeves

incredible I think my hottie of the week uh is gonna go to oh boy i think it was lewis saying it doesn't really matter what he said uh during that interview i thought that was the hottest moment yeah i'll piggyback off that i think i think lewis hamilton's the hottie of the week i like i like to see a race car driver walking alone in the woods after going airborne like long walks in the woods yeah i think i think all of that was uh was very it was hottie behavior

so i gotta give it to him. I think this is more like Hottie of the Month because we had so much time off, and Jake was just constantly posting photos of Carlos' Instagram. So I'm going to go with Carlos just because I have a lot of photos in my brain of him on vacation, driving around the Mediterranean or wherever in a runabout. Yeah, his beautiful teak boat. Teak boat, yeah. So I'm going to go with Carlos. My dude.

I'm going to go Toto Wolf because there was one shot of him in the race where he just looked really contemplative. Yeah. And it was definitely zonkle energy. I was going to try to track how many Toto zoom-ans there were during the race,

and it was truly only one. It was one. I want it to choke me. Yeah. I really do. I love that for you. Thank you. So those were our hotties of the week.

Now, finally, let's get to the little bitch of the day can i start please it's pile for saying i should be a commentator after the probably least just point of the group chat and then not being able to figure out his microphone for the first 15 minutes so that's where that's what really cemented i was gonna say zach brown but it's ultimately andrew pile yeah oh zach brown is a good one i would have to go with latifi i i'm frankly disgusted by him being such a bad driver that he takes out Valtteri Bottas on his birthday. It's not right.

Yeah, I'm going with the TPL. It's not right. Is he off the team next year? I think the commentators were saying that there was an opening at Williams, right? Yeah, there were. So, is he getting booted? I don't know if it's official.

Maybe his contract's up or something? I don't know. No more Lavazza coffee in the tents, guys. You're going to be drinking Starbucks now. Yeah, you go, Pyle. I'm still deciding. Hmm. I mean, I guess I'll go Perez I didn't like that

I didn't like that in his post race interview he was like Max was on another planet I don't like that he admitted that. I don't know. This was like a real bummer of a podium post-race interview. Everyone was just like, yeah, I don't know. I was hoping for more, including Max, it seemed like. And I'm like, what are you talking about?

Both Carlos and Sergio were like that. And I'm like, you're not going to beat Max Verstappen. You knew that going into the race and you're not happy that you're finished. Like, I mean, Perez, he finished it, you know, where he, you know, I get, okay. Here's the other thing about Sergio, whatever. It doesn't matter. That's my bitch. Bitch of the day.

Little bitch of the day. Little bitch of the day. Do you think Max wasn't crazy excited even though he came in first because maybe he's a little bored that he's got such a huge lead? And it's just like, yeah, I want...

It makes it look so easy. It's so annoying. I know, it's just so easy. I think so. But also like when he isn't like he, I don't know. They were saying that he looked really bummed the day before because of the penalties or like the day that they found out they were going to have to take the penalty.

Right. And it's like, make up your mind. Like, you know how good you are. It's an insane comeback you should be like that was one of the best phrases i've ever done statistically if nothing else yeah um whatever just smile more

talk less smile more that's kind of what he's done this season yeah and it's working my little bitch of the day is gonna go out to my boy Charles Leclerc for his radio message

complaining about I don't remember who he collided with at one point, but when he was like, uh, and we touched, so, and then that was the end of the message.

Yeah. It's like confessing to cheating. Uh, real, real, real bitch energy. Um, also,

also the fact that he like immediately was like, the pit lane thing was my fault. It was my mistake. You shouldn't have gone to that. Your team told you to pit for the fastest lap. Like, what are you? It's not your fault. You shouldn't have been in the pit lane too speed at all.

I love him though. I would die for him. Yeah. All right. Well, that's the Belgian Grand Prix of 2022. The next race will be

the Dutch Grand Prix September 2nd through the 4th. You guys looking forward to that? Racing is back. I'm going to be at a wedding next weekend. Okay. All right.

But I'm going to figure out how to watch it. We should say we're not recording specifically for that race. Thank God. Because we're piloting this episode. So if you want to hear us talk more, please tell us so that you know we can convince our bosses jake to let us record things i approve this podcast uh no i am excited i think that track is really weird. It's the really like steep, whatever that's called, turns.

I don't know. Incline. Yeah. That's why we are casual. The F1 podcast for the casual. What was our other pitch for a subtitle? Oh, the formula dank of podcasts, but less racist. Oh, yeah. The non-rac the formula dank of podcast but less racist oh yeah the non-racist formula all right last racist yeah actually it was a little racist up top uh yeah that'll do it for this week's show uh this pilot this uh special presentation

of the pit wall thanks for listening uh let us know if you want to hear more in the comments on whatever channel this is on it's gonna be on the headroom channel comment below it's gonna be on some other feeds yeah if you like the show and you want more comment push push yeah yeah hit that push push subscribe we need a social groundswell

to make it undeniable that we must continue this podcast and if you stopped listening to it before the end, just comment DNF, which you won't hear this if you stopped at minute 23.

I almost said. Jeff, we're already on Twitter. Ideally, we can make Jeff get up at 5 a.m. for an entire year of Sundays. I like it, though, because it makes me... I don't have an excuse to not wake up for

it and i can still go to bed at 3 a.m have a great saturday night and do it i just won't be as high energy as i am on the headgun podcast which is good yeah you're laying practically face down you have been faced out i almost fell asleep during the race, and I almost fell asleep during this podcast about four minutes ago. I mean, I woke up at like 7, and I'm fully going to take a nap after this. Yeah. Respect. Thanks.

Follow me on Twitter, though. I need some followers. Don't ask me. Amory Galon. But don't be mean to me if i said something wrong you can you can be mean to me uh andrew p on twitter everything i got wrong this episode or anyone else anything anybody got wrong this episode feel free to dm me about submit it to pile yeah yeah um i don't have a Twitter to plug. Well, I have a Twitter,

but here's what I want to plug. Um, I need everyone to comment on Carlos sciences, Instagrams to check his DMS and open the ones from me. Yeah. I have DM Tim twice. Uh, once about a burger that he posted.

I wrote damn. Uh, and then another time when he was foil boarding, I wrote nice. So I need those to at least be seen by Carlos. We need this. Yeah. If you have an Instagram, let Carlos know that I'm trying to get in touch. 2023 is the year that Jake gets on Carlos's teak boat in the Mediterranean.

My God. Could you fucking imagine? And here's what I'd like to plug. Valtteri's ass. You already plugged your Twitter. I was hoping no one heard that. You can follow me on Twitter at casey donahue also if somehow you're listening to this and don't know what head gum is and you just found it because you're trying to find an f1 podcast one sorry to listen to more head gum shows there. There you go. Yeah.

All right, everybody. Thanks for listening. Thanks for watching. We'll see you on the track. Beep, beep. Beep, beep. That was a HeadGum original.

Hey, I'm Jake Johnson, host of the podcast, We're Here to Help. But this episode right now that you are listening to is sponsored by Brooklinen. Brooklinen provides luxury bed sheets, pillows, comforters, and blankets delivered straight to your door. How do I know this? Because Brooklinen delivered me a quilt, sheets, pillowcases, and I love them. Plus, Brooklinen has been tested and awarded by experts, including Good Housekeeping, GQ, Wirecutter, and the hosts of We're Here to Help. So listeners can save a ton by purchasing a hardcore bundle, which includes a core sheet

set, which is the thing I got, extra pillowcases, and a duvet cover. You can also mix and match. They do this stripe thing that's cool, but that's a dealer's choice. So are you ready to build your dream fall bed? Visit in-store or online at brooklinen.com. That's brooklinen.com. B-R-O-O-K-L-I-N-E-N.com. Get 15% off your first Brooklinen order and save extra when you bundle.