Segments - Testing Testing: Porn

Episode Date: July 29, 2021

Back for another "Testing Testing" Thursday and Amir is administrating the hottest quiz of all. How well does Jake know his pornography? Let's find out.Advertise on If I Were You vi...a Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a HeadGum Original. Alright, we're back, baby. Back on a Thursday, Thursday. Thursday. In the club going up. On a Thursday. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:00:19 It's fun. Okay, Barkeep, I'll have a margarita and a hot toddy, and I'll be grinding with a bay on the dance floor. Oh! You struck me! A hot toddy on the dance floor. Can I get a mulled wine for my lady? Let's do shots.
Starting point is 00:00:42 Little sips as you're fucking fist pumping. Careful. Careful. Don't dance into me. This is scalding. You're grinding in a cabin. It's February 9th. You're in upstate New York.
Starting point is 00:00:56 You're in an igloo. There's whipped cream. Actually, this test is kind of cool. Not unlike clubbing. I found a... Clubbing. I found an exam. Well, I was able to actually cobble together little quizzes to sort of call it an exam. Interesting. Because I wanted to give you something that would let you shine without necessarily boring the audience.
Starting point is 00:01:20 So, like, I know you're into hot rods, but, like, what's the point? I'm not going to ask you about a carburetor or anything like that. Right. Yeah, I've been building a hot rod in my garage. Yeah. It also can't be, like, you know, visual. Like, I can show you a fucking chassis from a 57 Chevy. Right, and I would get that all day.
Starting point is 00:01:38 Continental Mark II, 1956. Very nice. Very choice. You can tell. The elegant curve on an edsel carburetor come on um so this is a porn quiz oh perfect yeah really good stuff that's gonna really make me look good to everybody when i know i'm gonna have to i feel like i'm gonna have to pretend to be stumped every once in a while oh that's good yeah it's a quiz that like it it's kind of a checkmate because if you do poorly it's kind of sad but if you do awesome it's also kind of sad a little bit yeah right i just have to do fine and it has to be like all all things that i learned through porn in pop culture right not trolling Pornhub in the wee hours.
Starting point is 00:02:28 Before we get into the questions, I guess I wanted to ask you about your porn history. If you were to chart it over time, when do you think you were the most into it, and how have you been doing lately? Was the pandemic a hit or a boon? You know, the pandemic was tough because for a while the studios weren't making new porn. I don't know at what stage porn opened up again. I thought you were going to say that it was tough because our studio is closed. So I couldn't sort of go into one of our side offices and, you know, crank it. Crank one out, yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:03 When was I most into porn i don't know it feels like it's always kind of been it's kind of always been the same um steady steady as she goes when you first discovered it you haven't gotten up or down much ever since yeah really no it feels like i've always been obsessed ever since the first time i came. And it's never stopped. That's nice. That's actually beautiful. You can almost say that your most long-lasting, committed, healthy relationship is that between you and well. Me and Eva Lovey.
Starting point is 00:03:39 And well. All right. Should we get into it? Yeah. I suppose. suppose yeah i suppose so why not some warm-up questions just to get us in the groove slash flow um as you know porn is nothing without its abbreviations you're going to want to search these terms but you don't want to type it all out. You have some J-O to do. Even J-O is an acronym. Yeah, that's right.
Starting point is 00:04:08 That's true. Who has the time? So a lot of these search terms have quick abbreviated versions of themselves. For example, BBW stands for what? Big Beautiful Woman. That's good. That's correct. i was going to give you some answer choices but oh why waste the time i got it uh a few of these seem kind of
Starting point is 00:04:33 random slash obscure to me but maybe they're not do you know what bb stands for just bb bb um um big boobs uh i'll give you the option i had never heard of this one either so there's blonde on brunette ball bouncing big and beautiful or bareback oh let's go ball bouncing no according to buzzfeed it's bareback i'm not really sure what a bareback is in terms of port but is that no condom i think bare i think that's usually what bareback means isn't it yeah bb i guess so interesting what about dp uh double penetration yeah that one's a classic yeah that was a classic i don't need the choices there you basically if i need the choices i'll get it wrong all right here's another term it's not a it's not an acronym but do you know what a glory hole is of course let me know if you need the answer choices i yeah no i don't need the answer choices yeah it's it's it's a hole in the wall that you put your cock through and and someone uh sucks it or fucks it it's it's
Starting point is 00:05:46 not that hard you can kind of infer what it is from the glory aspect of it yeah what about um we're going on set do you know what a fluffer is yeah that's um i so i don't think those are real anymore or i don't know if they ever were but it was someone whose job it was uh to keep the male porn star hard in between takes yeah which is yeah very funny which was yeah that's what i did a porn star and what's the fluffer gonna do just have to give him a handy on the side that was what my i wanted that to be my first job, but instead I got an internship at College Humor. Wow. Ricky kind of saved your life.
Starting point is 00:06:31 Or ruined it, depending on how you look at it. Here's a term I had not heard before. Let's see if you have. Do you know what sounding is? Sounding. Sounding. Yeah. I guess I'm going to need the terms.
Starting point is 00:06:46 So I don't. I'll give you a lifeline here. Right. It's the technical term for grunting or rough massaging or a sound effect added after the shoot or when something is inserted into a man's urethra. Ooh. Because I know from my other passion, which is Napoleonic era British naval warfare novels, sounding the well is when you would take, you would basically drop something into the bottom of the ship. And if you could hear the thud, it would mean that it wasn't sinking or it wasn't taking water or something along those lines.
Starting point is 00:07:35 So I'm going to go with the penetrating the urethra thing because it kind of seems like sounding a ship. That is correct. Wow. Wow. Wow. I mean, combining your two hobbies like that, that was really advanced. Just like jerking off in historical fiction, that's my shit.
Starting point is 00:07:55 You should write porn that takes place on some sort of sea vessel. Yeah. 1700s or something. That would be perfect for me. Were there any women on those ships? Or that's a pure, that's a pure man dominated society.
Starting point is 00:08:11 There were women on the ships, but it was only because some captains liked to travel with their families. Sometimes the women would be transported from like a port and port Smith to Lisbon. So the, you know, the carpenter's wife, the gunner's wife um they would
Starting point is 00:08:26 come on uh that that type of thing sometimes they'd watch the the ship like the the children because there were young young boys on the ships um anyway sweet what's atm uh ass to mouth yes dude are you fucking kidding me that That's right. Absolutely ass to fucking mouth. Mouth. Yeah. No, sometimes boys as young as six would be little midshipmen and joining the ranks of flag officer, admiral of the fleet. Pretty cool to be a young reefer able to surround the mizzen
Starting point is 00:09:07 top um just watching the waves day by day uh a deckhand as it were get your atriatic sea a little early and then sort of move up the ranks from there very nice how would you describe a cream pie oh that's when you nut in the badge man god damn i hate myself uh yeah no that is uh it's organ it's it's um it's or it's orgasmic in science with buddy in porn your two hobbies are porn and port so it's POR something. Here's a word I didn't know what it meant. Let's see if you do. Tribbing.
Starting point is 00:09:53 T-R-I-B-B-I-N-G. Have you ever heard of that one? Tribbing. I feel like I have seen that, but I'm going to need the choices to confirm. Sex while wearing earplugs. Weird. Penetrating with everyday objects scissoring or sex with a condom oh let's go penetrating with everyday objects unfortunately according to this bus feed quiz tripping is scissoring. Cool. Have you heard about a spinner?
Starting point is 00:10:27 What's a spinner in porn? Oh, I think that's just a really small girl, I think. That's correct. Yes. No answer choices needed. A very small woman. I guess the thinking there is that you can, you know, spinner. Yeah, that is.
Starting point is 00:10:45 That's not my fetish, but it's a popular one. I see it a lot. Yeah, sometimes it's just like you can use context clues to figure it out. Yeah. Do you know what DVDA is? DVDA. Double vaginal, double anal or something? That's correct.
Starting point is 00:11:11 Yes. The D stands for double and the V and the A, well, you know, obviously stands for vagina and ass indeed. It's kind of almost like a theoretical idea more than an actual thing. Interesting. What does that mean? To be like two going on in each hole at the same time. Oh my God. It's almost like absolute zero. It exists only in theory.
Starting point is 00:11:39 All right, we got some more, but let's take a break, come back, and see if Jake can figure out what the rest of these terms stand for. Yeah. Thank you to DraftKings for sponsoring this episode of our show. Hey-o, DraftKings. The NFL is back. That's correct. And the best part of football season is checking out the post-game stats.
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Starting point is 00:14:37 Yes, yes, yes. Easy to create, easy to sell, easy to promote. Squarespace is my all-in-one, first stop, one-stop shop. Yeah. It's kind of funny that they have also award-winning customer support because it's so intuitive that even Jake was able to figure it out. But if you have any questions, they can figure it out for you as well. Exactly. And I did need a lot of help. I needed a lot of help. It's easy for everybody, but I still like to have my hand held. They even have AI at this point. You can update written content, product description, or email with Squarespace AI. You can even buy a domain name through Squarespace.
Starting point is 00:15:11 Exactly. Like, you know that movie Freaky Friday? Yeah. How'd you like to own FreakyFriday.com? That'd be great. Is that available? It's not available. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:19 But how'd you like to own Freaky Tuesday? Interesting. Freaky Tuesday. So that's when you run into each other and some parts of your personality change, but ultimately it's not a full body swap. Right. Mostly you're just concussed. Yeah. Which is new. It's kind of like having a new personality. Yeah. It's funny. I consider myself a vision lifter, which is why I recommend somebody buying visionlifters.com. Oh, visionlifters. Yeah, visionlifters with a Z.
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Starting point is 00:16:27 multiple quizzes what is gonzo gonzo is i think it's just um it's like the way the porn is shot almost like amateur ish it looks like a skate video that's yes a type of pornography in which the camera is acknowledged and often used by the actors to make the viewer feel like they're part of the scene. Right. Like gonzo journalism. That's my shit. That POV shit. But do you ever search gonzo or you just, you've seen it so much that it's sort of the keywords have entered your subconscious?
Starting point is 00:17:01 I guess I don't usually call it gonzo i would search pov but also i feel like my browser knows me uh and so much and the hubs they know me so well that i don't really have to seek that shit out anymore it's delivered and it is earned i bought this tiny porno ship on the deck of hee hee hee. Farewell and adieu, you fair Spanish ladies. What would you call, or actually I should say, how would you describe a veggie scene? A veggie scene. And I'm not just talking about the crudite they serve before everyone arrives on right yeah what's crafty on a brazzers set
Starting point is 00:17:52 just a couple veggies um i guess i just imagine it's penetration with um carrots and cucumbers corn and the like yeah Yeah, that's close. But it's actually, according to this at least, an all-girls scene, a.k.a. no meat. Oh, I see. Cool. Nice. It's pretty good.
Starting point is 00:18:13 Yeah. No meat in a veggie scene. Have you heard of... I mean, some of these have got to be fake. A three-eyed turtle? Three-eyed turtle. Yeah. Let's just guess that it's a dick that previously had a Prince Albert piercing that was removed,
Starting point is 00:18:36 so it then has three little holes in the urethra area. No, this one is a, well, it's filling all the orifices of a female by putting fingers in different holes and i guess it resembles that of a three-eyed turtle again interesting it seems pretty niche yeah i had not heard that one same it's not quite on the same level as dp or gonzo i guess all right switching gears Right. I wanted to figure out some sort of lightning round situation. So I looked up a list of the top grossing porn stars of all time. Of all time. It's a list of 10.
Starting point is 00:19:15 Okay. Oh, actually, sorry. It goes up to 14. Do you think you can name, let's say, half of these 14 people, highest grossing porn stars of all time some men some women oh see it's gonna be tough because i feel like all time goes a little before my heyday like i'd be better at amateur porn stars but i'll give it a shot um i will give it a shot highest well okay let's put jenna jameson on there she's absolutely number one net worth
Starting point is 00:19:46 according to you know this reputable source of scoop whoop.com of 30 million so jenna jameson that's good numero uno um and since we're talking about male porn stars it feels like it doesn't like i think ron jeremy's on there but he blew all of the money because i saw him once in burbank carrying all of his stuff in a plastic shopping bag so i feel like he doesn't have the funds now but let's say ron jeremy ron jeremy number seven he did indeed blow all of his according to scoop whoop 7.5 million dollar net worth okay have you ever actually seen like i know about ron jeremy but have you ever actually seen a porn with ron jeremy in it or just almost like yeah a myth a 70s porn that you've never seen i think i've seen one because i like sought it out for that reason i
Starting point is 00:20:35 was like i should see a ron jeremy porn that's it's weird to not yeah um damn what are some other really all timers all timers yeah it's i'm trying to think of like the uh ginger lynn uh ginger lynn is not on this list but another gi name is um another gi yeah another gi a g-i-a oh like gianna you're talking about gianna michaels yeah that's right gianna michaels is 13th um i guess she's appeared in over 500 porn films net worth four million dollars gianna michaels shout out to Gianna. Interesting. I really don't buy any of these numbers. No, I don't. But let's... I will say there's a man above Ron Jeremy. Oh, is it Peter North?
Starting point is 00:21:34 It is Peter North. Very good. Number three on your list. So you got number one, Jenna Jameson. Number three, Peter North. Number two is somebody I'd never heard of, but I guess she started in the 90s right so it'd be somebody like tara patrick that is not correct very good wait number two tara is tara patrick very good okay yes very good very good job absolutely savage um uh so you got the top three the rest the top three are a little obscure yeah give me some hint on like number four okay
Starting point is 00:22:06 number four is uh i had heard of this person's name she was sort of um uh 70s 80s uh porn star oh uh red hair this is who i was trying to come up with when I said Ginger Lynn. Maybe I was wrong. What's her name? Her initials are TL. Hmm, TL. No idea. No idea. Tracy? No, still don't know.
Starting point is 00:22:36 Tracy Lords at number four. Tracy Lords, okay. Yeah, I guess one of the Mount Rushmore first one. Another lady whose initials are JJj that's not jenna james to be that's yeah not jenna jameson but it seems like she was named um trying to fool people into searching for jenna jameson but it was actually jesse jane have you ever heard of that oh jesse jane yeah there's also someone named jesse james i think but. But Jesse Jane. I think I've heard of it, but I'm not entirely sure. And then there's just a series of names that sound familiar that I've never heard of.
Starting point is 00:23:11 Sasha Gray. Of course. Sasha Gray. Yeah, she was on Entourage. Jenna Hayes. Yep. I know Jenna Hayes. Yeah, totally. Something, there's some like super famous MILF lady that I forget. It's not Tara Lynn. It's something like that. Well, there's a Katie Morgan on here, if you've ever heard of that. I don't think so. Brie Olsen? Yeah, big time. I think Brie Olsen dated Charlie Sheen at one point.
Starting point is 00:23:43 Sounds about right. And then there's a Japanese actress on here who started off. Asia Akira. Not Asia Akira. But I do like appreciate the enthusiasm. Somebody named Maria Takagi. I don't think I know Maria Takagi. I mean, we're not even talking about the Japanese porn world,
Starting point is 00:24:07 where I'm sure like there's much bigger stars. Or like the Bundesliga, German porn. I don't know. Yeah, it's a very American-centric list. It really is, which is why I found yet another list for you, which might be more up your alley. Nice. I figured that one was a little too historical leaning. So I also found on a porn site, mind you,
Starting point is 00:24:36 the list of the hottest American porn stars of 2020. There's 23 names on here. I see. The list of 23 porn stars that are hot right now. That's cool. Not talking about the fucking Michael Jordans we're not talking about the fucking michael jordans we're talking about the yannis the lucas yeah that's kevin durant that's good shit who's hot now um and i want to see how many you can rattle off on this list okay but first let's take a break and we'll come back nice quick note to let y'all know that we're conducting an audience survey at gum.fm slash segments.
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Starting point is 00:25:52 Cool. Sorry, I have to spell it out for some people. Yeah, you do. But this episode right now that you are listening to is sponsored by Brooklinen. Brooklinen provides luxury bed sheets, pillows, comforters, and blankets delivered straight to your door. How do I know this? Because Brooklinen delivered me a quilt, sheets, pillowcases, and I love them. Plus, Brooklinen has been tested and awarded by experts, including Good Housekeeping, GQ, Wirecutter, and the hosts of We're Here to Help.
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Starting point is 00:27:10 There's 23 names on here. All right. Let's see how many you can rattle off. I feel like Riley Reid is going to be towards the top of the list. It's going to be a Riley Reid. It's going to be an Abella Danger. Whoa, whoa, slow down, buddy.
Starting point is 00:27:25 Okay. Let's relax. We want to sip on this cocktail and not take shots. Is Riley Reid on there? Riley Reid is number eight. Number eight. Great job. Is Abella Danger on there?
Starting point is 00:27:39 I'll be sipping this hot toddy as fast as I want. I thought you said Isabellaella danger and i couldn't find an isabella but you better believe abella danger is third on this third on the list so two top tens um did i mean mia malkova has to be on there i'm just wondering how high up she is could she be our our our co-star mia malkova star of of Lonely and Horny Season 2, is indeed on this list. Good job, Mia. She should be number, I feel like number two. But how did we get Mia Malkova to appear in a Lonely and Horny episode?
Starting point is 00:28:13 Do you remember that? I think Jillian Jesk and Alex Kerna, the producers, just straight up went out to porn star agents. I think that like they asked me for a list. I said- Not unlike right now i said my favorite porn star at the time uh mia malkova and next thing we knew uh she was she we were shooting with her and it was crazy it was i was not it i was i was not nervous about any day on lonely and horny except for that one. And I felt like it showed. And I think she thought I was a bad director, which really hurt.
Starting point is 00:28:51 Well, we should say that we shot a porn with her. That was the episode. Right. So it's just Ruby Jade, sort of 21 minutes of unsimulated penetration. D-A-D-V, actually. I thought you did pretty well. No, it was my character was watching a vr porn and so we needed a girl to just sort of stare into camera and you know yeah talk these guys off and she she absolutely killed it because it was right in her wheelhouse uh it's right she's done
Starting point is 00:29:20 this stuff before right right she's done she has done, like, we did one of those, like, we pretended to be shooting a VR porn. So, like, we were cutting back and forth from, like, the VR porn that was going on in your goggles and, like, you sitting in your house. It was great. It was a very funny scene. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:39 And why do you think she thought you were a bad director? I guess because I was just always unsure. Everything I said, I was, like, i was just stuttering and fumbling like i knew what i wanted to get but i was constantly uh shy so i didn't i wasn't very direct do you think you're um you'd be able to direct a porn if necessary um if like if me i was like that guy was really good can he direct my next video right or would that be too much pressure it would be too much pressure because i wouldn't know how to do it i think i would be with comedy i would i know to be like let's try it this way let's get it this way let's see this angle let's get this coverage um and for porn i feel like i would just
Starting point is 00:30:24 constantly be like, I don't want to step, you guys are having sex. I don't want to intrude. I would be too passive. Yeah, do whatever you guys want. Honestly, you guys are the stars. Yeah. I'll shoot this voyeur style and just leave the camera here.
Starting point is 00:30:45 Anyways, Brandy Love on that list. Is Eva Lovia on that list? Is Kenzie Reeves on that list? You gotta slow down. I need to fucking search. What's the order of things? Brandy Love. No.
Starting point is 00:31:00 Okay, well, she should be. Brandy Love's not on here. She should be. And Eva Lov love you my favorite uh how do you spell eva just eva yeah nope not on here that's fucking has to be incorrect um interesting very interesting um let's go mia khalifa who doesn't do porn anymore but is still uh famous yeah i guess she's not active enough to make the list unfortunately we're looking for active porn stars you haven't gotten number one or number two i should say um
Starting point is 00:31:38 yeah this is it's it's really it's tough because they're not i guess it's very segmented like everyone's got their personal favorites. It's tough to say which ones are. Yeah, I like the more niche amateur style. But let's go ahead and say Nicole Aniston. Number five is Nicole Aniston. Good job. Number five, staying alive.
Starting point is 00:32:01 Let's think. Is Alana Rhodes up there? you just got number one there you sunk my battles there we go lana rhodes number one porn star does that shock you or does that sort of make sense for you um it it makes sense i feel like i was really trying to think of just porn stars that i like but then i started trying to think of porn stars that I just see in all of the banner ads. Right. So that's a good list. That tracks.
Starting point is 00:32:30 Lana Rhodes, by the way, 16 million Instagram followers. Wow. Yeah. Like, there's no way she's not worth more money than Jenna Jameson. Because she also has, like, I think probably one of the most popular OnlyFans accounts. Like, yeah, I'm sure that list predates OnlyFans, which completely changed the game. Yeah, it really, it let people earn some, the money that they deserved. I love OnlyFans for that.
Starting point is 00:32:57 It took out the middleman. Got any other names for us before I rattle some off for you? Emily Willis. Number 21, Emily Willis. Good job. Sneaking in. I said Bella Danger. I didn't say Carly Gray.
Starting point is 00:33:14 Doesn't look like Carly Gray is on here. Okay. Okay. There's, God, there's somebody else that I was trying to think of that was really good looking that's fine i don't i don't need to rack my brain for this uh give me the other ones or give me a couple uh okay uh number two is monique alexander um three you got is abella danger uh number four is danny daniels danny daniels i don't even know if i know danny five you got nicole aniston six is kimmy granger kimmy granger very nice seven is somebody named desiree dulce oh yeah yeah good name eight you got riley reed
Starting point is 00:34:01 nine is a gabby carter oh yeah yep for sure yeah it stands to reason yeah megan rain great name yep uh and rounding out the list of the top 12 you got mia malkova but you missed kenzie taylor oh i said kenzie reeves yeah i see you forgot she got married and changed to tim the tool man taylor you said her maiden name unfortunately um how do these names work like they're all fake right they all get to choose yeah i think that um they just yeah everybody just chooses there's like there but i don't know it seems like there's not a lot of thought that goes into it. Because you would definitely try to be like, you know, getting that SEO, search engine optimization. Right.
Starting point is 00:34:53 Like with a Nicole Aniston. Sometimes they just shove two popular names together and they call it a day. Yeah. Nicole Aniston. Sometimes they, like there's an Aliyah Hadid on this list. Oh, yeah. I know Aliyah Hadid. So they just, you know, took other famous people, and now it's like, I accidentally searched for me.
Starting point is 00:35:10 Right. That's interesting. Then there's the alliteration, the Mia Malkova, the Jenna Jameson. Yeah. That style. I like the alliteration. The Riley Reid. Chloe Cherry is on this list.
Starting point is 00:35:24 Oh, good shit. Rochloe cherry is on this list oh good shit rachel ryan is on this list but like rachel ryan and chloe cherry both seem like they're not super good seo names but maybe they are maybe there is more thought i have no idea and then there's some that are just like barely even names like there's somebody on this list named karma rx have you heard of karma rx i have but i think like that seems i guess that seems a little weird because rx is like a prescription thing um yeah but there is something too just like not a like um the name being like uh firebird 491 it's like that's cool you could search that yeah you like you that's cool. You could search that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:05 Like you'll only find me if you search that and it's easy to remember. I mean, it was not unlike creating the name for HeadGum. We had to create a name that like was available on every social media that was easy to say and easy to spell, but didn't exist yet. Yeah. I actually don't mind HeadGum for your poor name. It's not bad. Henry HeadGum.
Starting point is 00:36:23 Henry HeadGum. Yeah. I love that. Yeah. And can I add an Rx to the end of it? I was just trying to think of bad porn names, and I thought of one that might be on the list. Is Cassidy Banks on there? Cassidy Banks?
Starting point is 00:36:36 I'm pretty sure that's her. No, there's no Cassidy on here. Oh, okay. Yeah. The few that we haven't named yet are Nicolette Shea. Don't even know if i know her thank god alina lopez i know her katrina jade sister of ruby jade oh i don't think i know her it's i'm happy now when i don't like it's when i when i know people it's like that's just me
Starting point is 00:37:01 really losing the quiz because i like i knew them as porn stars and i didn't guess it so that's that's bad but it's nice when i don't know because it's like oh wow i only know 22 of the top 23 porn stars elsa jean oh i love elsa jean it's by the way like do you know any of these people i have heard of mia malkova oh my god you haven't heard of anybody else on this list i really haven't. I want to know if our fans are closer to me or closer to you. Like, I'm sure there's all over the, there are people who are like, oh, Jake only got 21. And there's people who are like, holy shit, Jake got 21. Because there's, porn watching is so different and intimate. You never like watch with a friend,
Starting point is 00:37:44 so you have no idea. Like, I'm not watching porn with anybody else, so I can intimate. You never watch with a friend, so you have no idea. I'm not watching porn with anybody else, so I can't. With basketball, you discuss and dissect and analyze. With porn, it's just very privatized. You don't watch porn with Marty? I watch porn with Marty, but we're not at a sports car sort of high-fiving people. Yeah, totally.
Starting point is 00:37:59 You don't watch porn over at the bar down the street from you guys? Well, occasionally watch it at the bar. Of course I'm watching Barney's Beanery. I'm just not touching anyone there because of COVID protocols. We got one last name on here, and it's really probably the worst name, is Maitland Ward. Oh, no. M-A-I-T-L-A-N-D.
Starting point is 00:38:23 Do you know who that is? No. She was straight up on Boy Meets World, and then she pivoted to porn. Is that her real name, Maitland? Yes. And I think that she did not, like, because she was famous before porn, she didn't come up with a porn name. So you just dislike her regular name, I think. You know what?
Starting point is 00:38:43 Then I switch back, because I'm really impressed. Because I was going to say, why doesn't anybody use her regular name, I think. You know what? Then I switch back because I'm really impressed. Because I was going to say, why doesn't anybody use their regular name? And it's nice that this person, Maitland, did that. Yeah, really owned it. Who is she on Boy Meets World? Like Eric and Sean's roommate? No, not, wait, Sean, not Eric and whoever Sean's brother was. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:02 The taller, cool guy. Yeah. Wasn't that a Lawrence brother? Oh, yeah. Joey, no. God, which Lawrence brother was oh yeah the taller cool guy yeah wasn't that a lawrence brother oh yeah uh joey no uh god which lawrence brother was it this is another fun quiz you yeah matthew lawrence wow it's it's kind of cool that he hasn't only fans actually to back into porn like that that's that's a rare path isn't it yeah i respect it i respect everybody shout out to maitland and you know what i think we can say we all respect everybody in porn yeah from maitland ward down to the fluffers that's right how are you feeling
Starting point is 00:39:33 about how you did on this quiz i feel i feel sad i feel embarrassed i feel um but you're not supposed to we're supposed to like you know project that porn isn't shameful embarrassing that's just another thing yeah no this no. This is healthy and good. Yeah. And I'm actually I'm actually a beacon. I am an idol, an icon
Starting point is 00:39:56 for what I've done here. Thank you for lending your thoughts, feelings, attitudes, and memory towards this porn quiz. Episode three of Testing Testing will be back next week. Who knows what you'll be testing me on? Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:13 You can just test my memory and give me the same quiz and I'll see how many I can sort of remember. That's perfect. Yeah. I mean, I'm for sure going to get Maitland. Yeah. Because then we get to talk about porn again and you can excel. It's perfect. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:28 All right. See you next week, everybody. Or Monday, I should say. See you Monday, everybody. Ciao. That was a Hiddem Original. The $5 meal deal at McDonald's means you get to pick between a McDouble or a McChicken. Then get a small fry, a small drink, and a four-piece McNuggets.
Starting point is 00:40:56 That's a lot of McDonald's for not a lot of money. Get the $5 meal deal today. Prices and participation may vary for a limited time only.

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