Sense of Soul - Autism Spectrum’s Frequency of Love

Episode Date: September 5, 2022

Today on Sense of Soul is Donna Laitinen is a Behavior Change Specialist, Speaker and Author who is on a journey to help people ready to make a shift and who want to reinvent, declare, and claim the life path their heart truly desires.  She joined us to share her newly released book, “The Highest Frequency of Love: Unconventional Guide for Parents with Children on the Autism Spectrum.” Donna’s natural gift for rallying and inspiring people to ignite the spark of internal motivation through forward-vision thinking will leave you taking action. When unexpectedly asked to write a book to help parents, with a specific focus on the autism community, she accepted the invitation, which unfolded a self- realization, she had to share with the world. Donna set out to Evoke change and create a book that helps parents of children on the Autism Spectrum with unconventional solutions.  She has fallen in love with this journey and is watching her purpose take root. Donna is dedicated to creating a kinder and wiser world by making transformational education widely available, such as modern mindfulness, emotional awareness and self compassion. Visit her website: www.evokechangecenter.com Follow her journey:  Facebook: @EvokeChange.Life Instagram and Twitter: @DonnaLaitinen Order “The Highest Frequencies of Love: Unconventional Solutions for Parents of Children on the Autism Spectrum” , here at https://a.co/d/iWDaQEU Visit us at www.mysenseofsoul.com Do you want Ad Free episodes? Join our Sense of Soul Patreon, our community of seekers and lightworkers. Also recieve 50% off of Shanna’s Soul Immersion experience as a Patreon member, monthly Sacred circles, Shanna and Mande’s personal mini series, Sense of Soul merch and more. https://www.patreon.com/senseofsoul Thanks to our Sponsors  KACHAVA: www.kachava.com/senseofsoul ATHLETIC GREENS:  https:// athleticgreens.com/senseofsoul

Welcome to the Sense of Soul podcast. We are your hosts, Shanna and Mandy. Grab your coffee, open your mind, heart, and soul. It's time to awaken. Hey friends, if you're looking for ad-free Sense of Soul episodes, you can find them at Sense of Soul Patreon. Become a monthly member at any level. You will also have access to our monthly SOS Sacred Circles, our mini-series, merch, and much more. And it's a great way to help support our podcast so that we can continue to bring you inspiring episodes twice a week with our enlightened guests from all around the world.

Check out our Patreon. Today we have with us Donna Leighton. She is a behavioral change specialist, a speaker, and an author who's on a journey to help people ready to make a shift who want to reinvent, declare, and claim the life path their heart truly desires. She's here to evoke change. And she joins me today to talk about her new book, The Highest Frequency of Love, Unconventional Solutions for Parents of Children on the Autism Spectrum.

This book is a call to action to awaken compassion in our world. And I'm super happy to have Donna on with us to talk about a topic very close to my heart. Hi, Donna. How are you? Great. How are you doing? I'm good. So Mandy couldn't be with us because she's actually bringing her daughter to Florida. She's going to college. Yeah. And Ethan, my son who is on the spectrum, he started his transition program today, which is so exciting for him. It's like a new chapter of his life being more independent. So here in Colorado, after you graduate in our district, they offer them two years of it's called transitions and they take them around to like different job sites and they train them on different things that may be in

their field of interest, stuff like how to fill out applications, how to do an interview. And they train them also on life skills, like how to cook really good stuff. I love that. I should have had that to be a resource in my book. Like, why isn't that something that everybody gets? Right. There are so many good programs out there. Like what you're describing, like one of the boys, Jack, that I worked with and consulted with, I want to say, he was, that was part of his like worthy goals and goal setting and a goal achieving was to spend two weeks independently from his mom and home, which was a very, very big deal for him.

Wow. And he did it. And it was at a college and it was, you know, specifically like what you're saying for these kids to adjust, but I'm right with you. This, this, these kinds of things should be available for everybody, but also I didn't really know that there were programs like that. And he ended up, after doing this program, ended up applying to Bridgewater State College here in Massachusetts. And he got accepted into their program. Oh, my goodness. That's so exciting.

So this year, he's going to go? Yes. And he's part of my, his mom is one of the contributors in my book. And it's on the chapter of setting worthy goals, achieving worthy goals. Because obviously setting a worthy goal is something that scares you a little bit too. It excites you, but it scares you. That's when you know it's a good... He describes it to the T like that.

Well, his mother does with her dialogue. And yeah, so it's pretty cool that you're, you know, bringing that up. Yeah, I think it's so important, especially right now, everyone going back to school and everyone thinking about school. I just feel like lately, it's really become something that I've really become aware of, especially having a younger child who is still in elementary. I only have one left. I had recently watched this Gaia episode, Ron Davis on autism and dyslexia on the conscious media network on Gaia. Do you have Gaia? No, but I've heard him. Okay. Well, you could always get like a free trial to like watch this, but starts off talking about just the system that we're in.

He actually said, if you asked me how to create a system to brainwash a country, it would be our school system. And so he is like, you know, we need to redefine the purpose. So it was about redefining the purpose of the school system. The main thing about the episode was about the spectrum. And I do see this like being in schools, in therapists' offices, in government-funded programs, conferences, seminars, workshops. So yeah, there's a lot to be said right now about our education system, to be honest. Oh my gosh, don't get me started. Yeah, no, let's get started. I think that kids on the spectrum are so I almost feel like they're they're angels on earth as well as other kids with special needs they just have this light about them

and I think it shows in their sensitivities and all the qualities that they have are so angelic like on this earth you don't have any kids on the spectrum this earth. You don't have any kids on the spectrum. Is that right? I don't have any kids on the spectrum. So how did you fall into this and write this book is really for parents. It really is. But what's beautiful about it. So I was asked to write it. I didn't really know why, but I didn't question it. I kind of got this excitement within and I knew I couldn't do this alone. It was just, I want to say truly divinely asked in a way it was like through a thought it said, Tana, you're going to write a book. And I hadn't planned on writing this. And it basically, I call it a God shot. And then it was just, it's going to be a book for parents.

And then I'm like, what would I, you know, what would I write about? You know, it was then dialed into autism. I went home and I wrote the table of contents and it just like, I don't know where it was just coming through. So that's how it started. You actually started with the table of contents. You're like, these are the topics I need to cover. Right. Well, I knew I couldn't do it alone. What's ends up happening is literally like people come into my life. I get invited to mastermind groups and networking groups, and I meet doctors and therapists and educators and moms and dads who already have this mindset of the flipped switch thinking, creative energy thinking that was in alignment with what

I was writing and unconventional solutions for parents with children of autism. And it's the highest frequencies of love is actually the title. So in the book, I actually ended up creating unbeknownst to me at the time, an original methodology. So it's very cool. One of them is sharing in the extraordinary journey. And that's where these professionals and all of them, except for one have that contributed, have children on the autism spectrum. So what a beautiful way for me to speak to the parents on this tool. And then these contributors are speaking to how the parents can use this tool for their children to benefit, brought it to a whole new level. You know how they always say like being a parent doesn't come with a how-to book, you

know, even more for parents that have kids that are on the spectrum. I find my son, Ethan is in the middle, you know, he's verbal parents that have kids that are on the spectrum. I find my son, Ethan, is in the middle. You know, he's verbal, but he's not very capable of probably driving. You know, I mean, I would be very nervous if he decided to get on a public bus and go somewhere. We'll have to cross that bridge maybe, you know, as he gets older. But older but you know I never knew what to expect from Ethan so when he was one I always wondered what will he be like when he's five when he was five what will he be like when he's 12 and of course I did that with my other kids but this was totally different because I knew that with other kids you can you have those milestones that you follow, which even those are some of them are just ridiculous to put everybody in the same box. Right.

But he had his own set of milestones that could not be defined. I love it. And it's so true. And that's actually a tool that's used. I have the vision board for the parents. And then there's a different kind of a vision board that one of the contributors shared, which sounds like it's similar to yours. I would love to actually read that and see that. So is that in your book?

It is. This was meant to be this project, this body of work with others, which I want to say manifested. I would be asking, you know, I want to be part of something big, something for the greatest good of all something, you know, and then I'm, you know, here working on this. And I want to say what you were referring to with the, you know, sensitivity, these kids, these individuals, they, they're so tapped in and tuned into our energy. You know, I want to say this is what I'm teaching is, you know, this awareness of our energy output and how it's rippling out to everybody, you know, around us. But more importantly, that when our thoughts and

body language is not equating to our words that we're speaking that energy, these kids know it, and they know this is not true, this is not authentic. And they may choose to not, you know, feel unsafe or insecure or less confident because they're getting these mixed energies that they're very tapped into. And a lot of us prior to my working with all this energy work, I wasn't really fully aware of how, you know, the words that I speak hold light and energy, every single word we speak. So it's reprogramming that mindset. I don't want to like the word reprogramming, but it's a habits, how to speak basically, and how to take responsibility for our energy, for your energy. Yeah, for sure. Out of all my children, Ethan sees energy differently. And the reason why is because Ethan is all about experience, right? He's not tapping into

those thoughts saying, Hmm, I don't know if that's real. I don't know if I'm feeling that, that ego, he has very little ego. And I feel like the less ego that you have, the easier it is to experience, just fully feel and just go with it without any doubts. He has fear. This is true because he has different issues on the spectrum, how he feels about the world around him. So that proprioception. So he's never liked crowds. The energy, obviously, it's energy. It's too much for him. And so he's always had to be let go early. You know, that's always been like one of his things on his IEP, on his individual education plan. Well, it was his freshman year, and they hadn't quite put that in his schedule yet. And so it was very difficult and he came home and he was flipped. I mean,

the poor kid's legs were sore from shaking from the nervousness of being in the hallway. So I did this exercise with him and I got him to imagine that he had protection around him when he was in the hallway. And how we did is we stood apart from each other and I let him sense my energy and I sensed his. And I would say, like, tell me when you can feel me. Then I said, put some protection up. And I forget what we, I think it was fire or something that he imagined, whatever it was. And it worked for him very well because he had no doubts. He

could experience it. He felt it. He knew it was true. He used it and it works for him. And he did the same thing with the dog recently when the dog was nipping at his ankles and I said Ethan pretend your legs are of steel and he would heavy walk legs of steel and the dog stayed far away it was amazing it worked I love hearing these techniques and tools that you're using with your son and I have a chapter in there about the art of visualization. There you go. Using our imagination and developing exactly what you're saying. These techniques, these scenarios that are very individualized, just being aware that these kids, they're also just naturally gifted or naturally good with visualization. That's one of the things that I've learned.

Okay. And even with the boy, Jack, that I've worked with, he shared something similar, you know, when he's in school, getting distracted or getting annoyed with other kids, the noise, he would imagine them with a pacifier in their mouth. Oh, wow. And it would literally calm him and make him even smirk. So he was able to shift his energy to allow himself some space, be aware of it, and then move through it through that visualization. And I was so impressed. I was just like, wow. Well, see, and that's what they do. They are so smart. They figure out these things on their own too, because I mean, some of the things that Ethan does,

it's not like we taught him to do that. We just saw over time, look how this is how he does it. And it's like, oh, he figured out that that's the way it works for him. And so they're very intellectual. And I think that that actually gets lost by their lack of being able to express themselves we were laughing this morning he's like I don't need a pack back and we're like no that doesn't it's not required no pen and I'm like no but he likes to wear a sweatshirt like a hoodie like zip up. And that keeps him comfortable for whatever reason. And I'm like, it's 90 degrees outside, Ethan, but he'll still wear it because it makes him feel comfortable. But that's something that he knows he needs to be able to,

you know, go to school and learn. And feel safe. Yes. I love that too. And that as you're sharing, things are coming to me too. I do teach at the YMCA. I teach it and I designed it actually. And it is a government funded grant program that's just recently established. And I ran it last year and I named it compelling fitness. And it's much more than just fitness, but it's the kids, individuals who are neurodivergent and intellectually challenged. So I'm a personal trainer as well. And I work with cancer individuals and I run a live strong program through the YMCAs. So when they got the grant, they came to me and asked me. So I designed the program and kind of brainstormed. And it wasn't until I really did the meet and greet with them.

And I did have, there was one individual that was nonverbal and he did have a caretaker with him. So there was quite a range. That's one of my gifts, I want to say, or talents is being able to adapt to one's learning style. So what I did was I would start each session with like an intention, nerve activation, a guided visual meditation. None of these were long, just minutes of each.

And so I was trying to calm the parasympathetic nervous system and get them engaged and focused before I started having them do their exercises. And it was really, really cool for me to see such, I want to say dramatic progress over a three-week span from when they entered, because this is a YMCA. There's people there. It's a big area. And I started off in an area that was a little set off, but still open. And to see how they became more familiar with me and with the others in the group and less anxiousness. And from a few of them, you know, the noises that were alarming to some of the members there initially, but what ended up happening was the members got used to it and familiar. So not every time were they like staring and looking at our group, right? Nice. And I loved, which I didn't expect. Everybody just supported

each other. Well, so it's that transition part that's difficult for them, but once they get into it, schedule is, they're all about that. So they want you to do the same things and excel at that. That's always Ethan's issue. I was really happy this morning that he was quite okay to go to this new place on a new bus. He did have some friends that were going with him so that we're familiar. That was helpful. But every single time Ethan had to transition from even one semester to the next, it was always a big ordeal because he doesn't know what to expect and then he gets there and everything is fine right and he comes home and he acts like he never had the fit the night before but one time he was so upset about being in yoga I mean he was terrified I mean and he threw the biggest fit then why don't you want to take theater and yoga because i got scoliosis and stage fright

oh my god last time this time yoga it's a sport it's not it's laying on the goddamn mat if i go there have been 18 girls in yoga once gronny looking biggest thing and then he has the class and he comes home and he's like i love yoga he loves it in fact many times where i've seen him stressed he'll just like go into a pose oh this is what yeah this is what i feel like people need to know about this. Parents need to know about this. And yeah, I just, I have to say to the, with Ethan and the unknown and the fear of the unknowing, I do offer some insight into expecting things to go your way at nighttime before you go to bed. So you kind of role play it. Think about how you want that outcome of that transition to be the next day,

whatever it is, new place, new school, new friend, new boss, whatever it is. And you literally visualize it, use this tool that they have already and visualize them doing what it is. And you literally visualize it, use this tool that they have already and visualize them doing what it is in the best possible way. What we're doing is taking that negative worry vibration the night before that they're going to wake up in. Yeah. The vibration we go to sleep in or bed in the worry and the recycling of the negative, we're going to wake up that way. And you're going to feel that still that energy. So if you go to bed thinking and expecting things to go your way, and you're looking at it like a movie on the screen of your mind almost, and it can just be 10 seconds, 15 seconds, but have that vision. And you can even take it one step further where

you record it in his voice and listen to it. So he's learned to trust his own voice and knowing so that can sometimes help with transition and energy output. So when he wakes up in the morning or, you know, yeah, that he might be more inclined to. I love that. That's good for anybody. And a lot of the skills that I've learned in Ethan's journey is good for all of us. I remember his very first therapist that would come to our house when he was little. She taught me that having a toy box was not really beneficial for Ethan. It was overwhelming. He would never play with any of those toys. But if I separated them in bins, like here's all the cars,

these are all the blocks, and then only brought out one thing for him to master, that would be so successful for him. Right. And so, and it wouldn't be overwhelming. And I thought, well, that is just, I wish I would have done that with my other kids. That is so smart. So, you know, years later when I had my youngest, I did that because why wouldn't you? I mean, the goal of toys is actually to play with them, to have fun with them. And of course, if they're at the bottom of the toy box, you're not doing it. So just like what you're saying, though, the skills that we find that we have to do with kids maybe who don't get it, we should do with all of the kids. We should do with everyone. Well, that's, this is the whole thing is, so I'm working with the parents to,

you know, raise their vibration, elevate their thoughts, how to love others, including yourself more when you don't feel like it, or you're feeling depleted, or you're feeling like, how do we switch that energy and all these tools? You know, and the parents are the biggest influence with our children. So what better way to tap and tune into these? The parents have them tune into better ways to manage their own emotions and thoughts and role modeling so that their children can communicate, express better and, you know, find their way to illuminate their gifts. If the parent is illuminating their way to find their gifts. You made me think of something that, you know,

when you say, and this is with all kids, especially all, even animals, that they can really sense, you know, your energy, even if you're not saying anything, oh, everything is fine. We're good. I'm not stressed. No, everything's good. Fake it. Fake it till you make it. But I've grown out of that where if I'm stressed and like, I'm stressed, like this is normal. This has been a stressful day, but Ethan does not like when I'm stressed. Right. If I'm crying, like I've had a lot of loss over the years and anytime I'd be crying or anytime anyone cries, even when Kinsley gets hurt, you'll hear the door open. So sometimes we think Ethan's like up in his room, not paying attention to the world, you know, but every time someone is hurt, crying, whatever, you hear his door open and he just puts his ear out and he just wants to know what's going on. He's feeling it.

He senses that every single time. In fact, my youngest always says, Ethan does not like me. And I said, no, he does. I said, don't you notice that every single time you get hurt, he's the first person that says what happened. I was like, he cares very much about you. And it's not about not feeling, it's about feeling it, but how do we feel it and be able to not dwell on it to the point where it's taking up all this space and exuding this energy. Yeah. You know, you know, advocating to like what you say, the IEPs and stuff, advocating for,

you know, for your kids and making sure things are in place, but really being able to make that awareness of your behavior patterns, because once you're aware, however you choose is fine, but it's at least you're aware of it. And the idea is to move towards looking at the situation and seeing how you could improve it. How could I do better next time? But never beat yourself up over it. And I think that's what a lot of parents do. We beat ourselves up over things that we said or did or how we responded or how we reacted, right? And then having the regrets, shame, all that stuff. Like how do we like smooth that over? How do we, how do we navigate that chaos in our mind? Obviously it begins with awareness, but it also

has to do with forgiveness, forgiving yourself. So when we get into those places of blame of ourselves as parents, blame or resentment or anger, all of that, that energy is just there. And everybody around you is feeling that and kids are getting mixed messages about why is mom and dad it you know and so being able to be aware of it and flipping the switch you know that mindset thinking it's a practice it's a habit basically it is and actually you know in my house Ethan does not like any kind of like yelling or anybody being aggressive because like the dog's barking or any kids yelling stuff like that so we've actually shifted our entire lives to Ethan in many ways because we

would rather us shift because it's easier for us to shift than it is for him and it's actually made us as a whole just more calmer more, more present. I mean, Ethan has been a gift to everyone that's in his life because of his autism. Right? Yes. These individuals, these kids, these children, they're here to teach us as well. I feel like society, we need to be more inviting, more embracing. And it's our own fears that get in the way of this connection. The disconnect is, you know, we're all, you know, we're responsible. And that's part of what I've learned through this over the past two years, nine months, really, working on this project is self-realization.

Have you changed as a mother because of this situation? I mean, looking at everything? Oh, absolutely. A mother, a friend, my relationships with my children have all, oh my gosh, yeah. It's amazing, these tools of, and it's habits, so it's a practice, but, you know, being able to respond and pause and do a yoga pause like Ethan, right? Right. We look at these kids on the spectrum and say, what do they need? But they're actually all things that we all need. I think that's a big part of the reason why they're here. Yes.

Help us heal our planet. Totally agree. Because when I look at all of my kids, they've all expressed to me. So I have kids from 25 to 10 and they've all expressed to me at so many times, like, I wish I was more like Ethan because he doesn't care about like what he wears. He doesn't give a shit, right? What his hair looks like. He doesn't care what college he goes to or, you know,

all of these things. He truly just is. And he's comfortable with what he just is. And that's very difficult for the crazy monkey mind, average American. Absolutely. Yeah. You worded it perfectly. When my oldest son was working with, he was a para for the ILC, that's called our program here for special needs kids. And he just became the slight and he made relationships with kids that were nonverbal and they were communicating on a level that didn't require language. But when I would watch them and I would go, my son also coached football and basketball for the special needs kids. And I could barely breathe around all of them. And so this was something that I was being very present with.

I'm like, why am I not able to breathe? And I'm very emotional. And so I was sitting with it and I realized, oh my God, I think I'm literally in the presence of angels. Like they are the closest thing to spirit I mean just think the smaller the ego the more soul you are and they that's what they lack they lack all the negative things about most humans and you know what is like ringing in my ears right now is the universal language. Without words. Right.

And that's also what I experienced with the Compelling Fitness Group is we were able to communicate without words. You know, I felt like I could sense now, you know, when to move on to something different or whether they liked it or not, or yeah. And it's that what you experience is just so beautiful. I feel like it's kind of like that soul of the earth, you know, that big picture that that connection yeah and then you have some of them that are absolute geniuses I mean most of the geniuses throughout time were on the spectrum absolutely and actually now that you brought that up that's another one of in the book one of the parents shared how they looked up like a lot of actors and inventors and read their biographies or even just one liners in their son just felt so much better, you know, knowing that these are very

successful people in our world and that they could relate to them. And I thought, wow, what a, that's great. You know, that was a great thing that they worked on to them. And I thought, wow, that's great. You know, that was a great thing that they worked on together. And see, there's tons of people like me just kind of validating what they already know. I feel like we're the ones that are flawed. Oh, I think so too. That's what I feel like with this whole conversation,

really what we've been saying is that they're here to teach us and to help save our planet, like to get out of this ego, right? We have to allow the ego. It's only when the ego starts to lessen, or I want to say dissolve. I'm not sure if that's right. Quiet. Quiet, that we can, you know, bring this peace and joy truly from our heart space when we get out of judgment and we get out of competition. Right. And so your friend's son, Jack, tell us about Jack. So, you know, he's verbal. We've talked and he's shared. I was kind of like at first, not sure if he was bored. He does like some like yawning, but he wasn't bored at all. So I just bypassed. That's just how he presents,

you know, just like often I used to do this. So yeah, I do this a lot with my head. Right. So I was like, okay. You know, once I like understood that it wasn't that, you know, he didn't want to be in this conversation with me. He wanted to, but I was just, okay, you know, once I like understood that it wasn't that, you know, he didn't want to be in this conversation with me. He wanted to, but I was just kind of getting used to, you know, used to that. But I want to say he had so much value of the tools that I was presenting to him. Like he already valued them in his own unique way. And even when we talked about the gratitude, you know, he was very honest and just, you know, so I was sharing with him how to take gratitude to a deeper level. And he was

funny because I said, I'm grateful for our refrigerator because not everybody's so lucky to have a refrigerator and we can stock up in food. You know, if you buy food and you don't have a refrigerator, it will go bad very quickly, you know, so I brought it to the extreme, you know, the refrigerator, he just kind of was like, well, now you're getting a little, you know, animated here. I don't see any reason why we need to, you know what I mean, take it to that level. With me, he was opening up. And I think he sensed my energy of where I was going with all this. And he was very appreciative that the book was for the parents. He thought it was a good book for parents. And he also said that he didn't want to be defined as autistic. I said, you don't have to be. And that's in my house because we've never

really say it a lot. So whenever it's come up, he's like, what is it? You know, and we have to tell him it again. So maybe that's why, because we have never really labeled him. And if we can somehow, you know, I don't have all the answers, but, and this is again for every kid, but we want them to embrace their autism. My oldest daughter, she has ADHD and she understood it was a struggle. You know, she was treated. She got the 504, so she got more time. She had accommodations in school and whatnot. She took it all the way to college and she owned it.

She said, I need these accommodations. I have a 504. This is what I need. I need the notes because it's hard for me to take notes while you're talking, but she owned it and she is so successful because she owned it. So yes, I do agree that we all need to do that on our struggles. We all need to do it. Yes. And I feel if parents own themselves, like they're, you know, then they're giving permission for their children to own and embrace their identity. They are their authentic selves. Because I do feel that we all have these gifts. I used to say, what's this gift thing? I want some gifts. How do we go about this? You know, now I can, I can feel and I see so clearly now. I my life at the perfect time to help me move this to the next level to do this. But I'm so, I want to say, worked on my ego and my healing.

So I have now have much more space available for clarity and organization and receiving thoughts and taking action. Now get ideas, but I would never, you know, I always had this hesitation and doubt or uncertainty. What do I have to offer type thing? And now it's turned into this boldness and this courage and confidence. And what I have to say matters. And I love that energy about me now, my way of being. And I'm able to, I want to say, plow through that fear. So when fear hits me, this is what I teach in the book as well.

When fear hits me, I understand there's a reason why I have that fear. I talk about paradigms and stuff that I never really thought about, like my conditioning. I always just accepted, well, this is how I am. You know, I'm never going to do this or do that because this is who I am. That doesn't, you know, and now that's not even on the table. Like I realize that I can plow through my conditioning and my behaviors. There's a reason why. And now they make more sense to me.

So once you get that awareness, fear is really, you know, there is good fear too. I mean, fear of, you know, but I'm talking about emotional fear, getting in our way of being productive. Donna, I just had a thought when you were talking about that. I mean, think back like a hundred years, how they treated kids with special needs. They didn't even have a spectrum. So, you know, they called them odd, weird, retarded, all of the things. It's just now that kids are being accepted, which is beautiful. I mean, here in our community, big time. I mean, we have had, you know, kings of prom through up down syndrome, our support at our school for our special Olympic teams and stuff is amazing. I mean, everyone shows up. It is truly, truly a beautiful thing that's happening that people are more accepting and open to understanding

them, being friends with them. You know, there's this no bully campaigning going on, which I love, but like my youngest, those in-between kids too, I worry about like my youngest falls in, she's an introvert, you know, she's highly sensitive and teachers and the education system keeps on trying to say, well, why don't you do this? And why don't you join this? And why don't, why are you this? And she is so different. This next generation is so different. She's like, why don't you just accept me for who I am? I love that. That's how, that's how my daughter is. Yes. Yeah. It's beautiful. I'm so proud of her authenticity, her acceptance of her non-competition. Yeah. And I'm not saying it's all the time, but I mean, oh my gosh, in general, she is just who she is. Oh, what I love most for her age, she's just turned 23. She's not comparing herself and she's

genuinely happy for other people doing what they're doing, but she's on her own path and she is living life and she's didn't want to take the normal route of she tried to, but it didn't work out. But it expanded her into this, like, ah, so many already lived experiences, good and bad, but really she's, and she even just said to me, you know, I wouldn't be making the decisions that I am now if it wasn't for all that stuff that happened. You know, like she gets it. She gets me because I've been changing a lot and not everybody's on board, you know, and some people are asking me, you know, what is it that you're doing? And then other people are like, and it doesn't matter. It's like, it doesn't matter what everybody else thinks about me. I am like, love myself. And I love that. I love myself now. I love that you love yourself, Donna, because it's true though. I was a little worried. I'm like,

oh gosh, I was a helicopter parent when my children were younger, especially. And then I wondered as I start changing and become more aware, I was like, is it too late for them? But it's not because my older kids in their twenties as well have sense. I see them and I see how healthy they are and their thoughts. And, you know, at first they were like, oh my gosh, you're weird. But then that shifted in them too. So I feel like you change everything around you changes too. It's such a mercy. It does. And I asked for that too. I went through this process where I went and had this forgiveness that I wanted to be forgiven by my kids for certain things that happened, you know, with a divorce and so forth

and so on. And believe it or not, my middle son, he had said, you know, he didn't see it that way, first of all. So I made up illusions. And I talk about that in the book too. That was one of the biggest freeing moments is when I realized about illusions and how we make stuff up and our bodies are stressed over it. It hasn't even occurred yet or may not happen, but I was pro at that.

But he had said to me that really, mom, because of what our family went through at the time, he had a lot of resentment and anger, but he says he can see now how far ahead he is in the sense of like being independent and managing, you know, his finances. He was kind of like pushed a little bit to like grow up a little bit, which, you know, but that was the journey and I've accepted it and I've had to have compassion for the Donna back then and what happened and how I reacted. Right.

I mean, I know for myself, I went through it the same and it was like, yeah, they had to grow up a little bit more. You know, they had to do little things. That was a good thing. Right. And that's basically what my son said to me. And I was like, mom guilt, right? But you had mom guilt and you were holding on to it all those years.

I have done the same. Yeah. And it's just things are putting our path for reasons, I believe. And you can either dwell on the negative or you can find the good in it. And that's what I do all the time now. And this is what I'm teaching in the book too, is how do we get out of that tunnel vision? And how do we have that bird's eye view? Because that's when the solutions will appear and make decision-making simpler and more in alignment

with creating joy and happiness in our life. Looking at Ethan and the way that he thinks about the world. I mean, he would never sit around and think about something that he felt guilty about forever. It would be gone. Exactly. Yeah. That's amazing. Yeah. That's amazing.

Yeah. So true. I love that you wrote this book because I think you truly were able to get it. And you were like, oh my God, they are such teachers of our realm. Yes. This whole journey, like since the day I was asked to write this, I have fallen in love with it. And I am literally watching my purpose date group, you know, speaking.

I have a signature talk now. I have an online course that's going to be launching. It's, it's, and it's all the highest frequencies of love is the title. And I've already been asked to write it for cancer, for suicide, for parents dealing with kids with suicide, parents dealing with, you know, how do we show up as parents? Cause this was me when my son came to me wishing for disease to take his life. I was curled up in a ball in the dark, not able to show up for myself, but more importantly, show up for my son. So how was I, and I was able to flip that switch and go from judgment and telling him what to do and everything that he was doing wrong and to believing in him that he can change his habits and be supportive and be that light that he needs.

And I did such amazing work with visualization and I want to say manif, and I want to say prayer and gratitude and just this cord going from my heart to my son's heart, white and healing and love and music and so much more cross that cord right into his chest. And I would see him smiling. And I would do that every day. So you know, it started sending a motivational, what do I need to do to lift my energy so I can help myself, so I can help my son or daughter. And now it's time for break that shit down. Forgiveness for others who you perceived have harmed you, but in forgiving yourself and then self-love, loving yourself. Yeah. I mean, did you ever think that this was what you'd be writing about or experiencing right now? No, no, not at all. This was never planned planned in my agenda now look like I feel that creativity has come out and, you know, people are

listening to what I have to say. They're wanting to learn more about it. And when I spent time with Jack, I just, I left there thinking, oh my gosh, have I missed out on so much? Because I never really took the opportunity to get to know him, you know? And I realized it was my own fear. And I was like, wow. And it was one of my best friend's sons, you know? And other than, hi, how are you? Like the typical, never really embraced or engaged. And that's when I realized, oh, wow, there was a big self realization for myself. And I knew that this is if I'm responding to him this way, how many other people are in this needs to be addressed and people made aware. So, right. So beautiful.

We said at the beginning, I mean, a lot of these things are for all, right? We're not even talking about maybe the autism spectrum led us to understand and be aware of these things, but this is, this should be for everybody. Oh, absolutely. So your book is for everybody. Yeah. So in, on the back cover, there's a doctor who did an endorsement and also on the back cover, it talks about how it can be for everybody. But I wanted to keep it because I was asked specifically to write for this audience, this population. Thank you so much for writing this book. I just, I love you for it.

You're such a beautiful soul to be able to connect in this way. You're being used. You're an instrument for it. You're such a beautiful soul to be able to connect in this way. You're, you're being used. You're an instrument for source. I mean, I can't wait to hear about the other hard topics that you're about to tackle and continue to write about. Yes. Thank you. Thank you. Just looking at your website and the things that you have. And so go ahead and share with our listeners where they could find you and what you got going on there. Yep. So I'm the founder of Evoke Change Center. It's evokechangecenter.com. And you can find me there. I'm on Instagram and LinkedIn and all that stuff. And I do have a page for the highest frequencies of love. And I am available to for speaking events. I've spoken South Africa and I am going to be speaking at the

South Shore Women's Conference and at a retreat. So I love this, that this is all evolving and I just, yeah, it doesn't even feel like work. And then yes, I will keep you posted on, you know, what's the, what's happening with the other books as well. I am truly grateful for you having me on today. Well, thank you so much for your time. And I just appreciate you following your call. And when we do that, it's like just one more light worker added to the universe and doing source work, you know, it's beautiful. Yes, it is. It is.

Lighthouse to light transmitter. I like that. You become lighter and brighter. You actually radiate this light that attracts those who are lost at sea, right? That metaphor with the lighthouse and the transmitter. So you're guiding people to get back on track or to find their way home. I think that's beautiful. Congratulations. Thank you. Thank you. Thanks for being with us today. We hope you will come back next week.

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