Sense of Soul - Breaking Conditions with Kute Blackson

Episode Date: April 3, 2023

Today on Sense of Soul is Kute Blackson he is a transformational teacher, speaker, visionary, guide and national best-selling author of You.Are.The.One. and The Magic of Surrender. He is the host of the podcast SoulTalk, a thought-provoking podcast about what really matters in life. It is a deep exploration into life's biggest questions.  Kute is also known for creating the unique travel experiences which he has on coming up this July, you can learn more at www.boundlessblissbali.com  If you want to learn more about Kute visit his website www.kuteblackson.com Follow this inspiring man on social media @kuteblackson Visit Sense of Soul at www.mysenseofsoul.com Do you want Ad Free episodes? Join our Sense of Soul Patreon, our community of seekers and lightworkers. Also recieve 50% off of Shanna’s Soul Immersion experience as a Patreon member, monthly Sacred circles, Shanna mini series, Sense of Soul merch and more.
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Hello, my soul-seeking friends. It's Shanna. Thank you so much for listening to Sense of Soul podcast. Enlightening conversations with like-minded souls from around the world, sharing their journey of finding their light within, turning pain into purpose, and awakening to their true sense of soul. If you like what you hear, show me some love and rate, like, and subscribe and consider becoming a sense of soul Patreon member where you will get ad free episodes, monthly circles, and much more. Now go grab your coffee, open your mind, heart, and soul. It's time to awaken. Hey listeners, I just wanted to say thank you so much to those who donated to the GoFundMe for Ellen Catherine Shamilev. She's been on Sense of Soul several times and has become a very dear friend of mine.

And I saw some new listeners coming through, and I just want to let you know that I very much appreciated it. And so does she. And also, I'd like to thank my new Patreon member, Amy. It's a great time to be a Patreon member because we are beginning our spring book club on April 16th. It'll be every other Sunday to the end of May. So sign up at any level on Patreon.

The book we'll be reading together is The God Solution by Neal Donald Walsh. And then at the beginning of June, I will be releasing my interview with him. Now, today, my guest has also had the honor of having a conversation with Mr. Neal Donald Walsh. He is bestselling author, an international speaker, transformational teacher and coach, and the host of Soul Talk. And he's been on Sense of Soul twice before. Welcome again, Coop Blackson. Hello, hello. Hey, how's it going? Good. How are you? I am good. And so glad you're with us again. You have an amazing story. Maybe some of our listeners have heard, but I'm going to ask you to go ahead and

share with us again. Yeah, sure. Look, I was born in Ghana, West Africa, as we spoke about the first time. My father's from Ghana, my mother's Japanese. I grew up in London. I live in Los Angeles and sometimes in Mexico. And so I feel like I'm a citizen of the world from everywhere and nowhere simultaneously, which is a great blessing in many ways. As a young boy, from a very young age, I always felt a, shall we say, I felt people's pain very deeply. And there was a part of me that wanted to alleviate suffering in some way, in a very deep way.

And I didn't know what that would look like. And so I thought my childhood was quite ordinary. But it seems that people tell me, wow, your childhood was quite different. And I thought everyone had my childhood and upbringing. But as a young boy, one of my first memories as a kid was seeing a crippled woman, as an example, crawling on the floor, she picks up the sand, but this man walks and wipes it on her face and stands up. And so week after week, I grew up seeing blind people see and deaf people hear and people stand up out of wheelchairs. The same man whose sand she picked up and look at a woman in a wheelchair and say, why are you in this wheelchair? You're not sick, stand up. He would

look at someone with crutches and say, throw your crutches away, like be healed. And so this man was my father. He was considered like the miracle man of Africa, was a spiritual advisor and teacher to presidents and kings and heads of state. It was a really great man, a very spiritual man. So I was blessed to grow up in the environment of possibility. There was the sense that everything was possible. And it was normal. It wasn't a big deal. It was just matter of fact, the way of things. And so that was, I think, a huge blessing in many ways. And so my father built 300 churches in Ghana, West Africa, had hundreds of thousands of followers. He built a huge church in London, about 4,000 to 5,000 people every Sunday, very spiritual metaphysical man. And when I was age eight, I started speaking in my father's churches. When I was 14, I was ordained as a minister and

given the mandate to take over my father's spiritual organization. And honestly, I knew in that moment that this was not my path. I knew in that moment that this was not my destiny. I felt a different calling. I felt a different pull. But like many of us as a kid, I was too afraid to speak my truth. My fear was if I really speak my truth, dare to be who I am, then I will be alone. I will be outcast. I will be abandoned. I will lose my father's love. And I think like many of us, I allowed fear to hijack my freedom

and my voice and said nothing and went along with it. And yeah, for four years, I went through a real inner turmoil of questioning. Who am I? Why am I here? And I tried to fit myself into a box. I tried to make myself be what I thought people wanted me to be in order to be loved and to be validated and was miserable.

When you were having that moment of maybe taking over your father's church one day, and you were like, I don't know, did you feel like maybe there was something bigger for you? Yeah, I felt that there was a different calling. You know, when I i turned 18 i looked into my future and i saw that i could take over my father's churches i could be the guy that that succeeds doing this but as i projected into my future i saw that if if i don't have my soul if i don't have myself if i don't have my integrity if i if i betray myself then what kind of success is this? If I lie to myself now, I'm going to have to lie to myself for the rest of my life.

And so I felt a calling specifically to come to America. I felt something calling me to come to the US. And sometimes what your soul guides you to do isn't always convenient and what your soul guides you to do isn't always convenient. And what your soul guides you to do isn't always comfortable, doesn't always make sense to your mind. And I felt a calling to come to the US because as a kid, I would go into my father's office and I would sort of steal the books on his bookshelf. And he had literally thousands of books on spirituality and mysticism and self-help and Eastern mystics from Krishnamurti and Osho to Western folks like Wayne Dyer, Louise Hay, Marianne Williamson, Deepak Chopra. And so I felt that this is what I wanted to do. I wanted to inspire people, but not through church and not through religion and not through

some organization. And so this was my calling. And this is what lit me up. Although I didn't know how the hell to do this, there was no school to go and be a self-help author, teacher, but the calling was so strong. And that's when I knew that I had to speak to my father. And so I renounced everything, let go of everything, had that conversation with my father, which didn't go that well. We didn't speak for two years. That was incredibly challenging. But I felt as though I didn't have a choice. And I felt that the pain of not listening to myself, which many of us, we don't because we're afraid of the consequences. And I was terrified. The pain of not listening to my soul felt too much. And so I left everything behind. And long story short,

I ended up winning a green card in the green card lottery. And that's what enabled me to come to the US as an 18-year-old kid with two suitcases to Los Angeles, $800, knowing no one, just following, literally following a dream. This was before Google and internet, no research, just showing up here cold and surrendering, following my dream. And I went and I found many of the authors, the teachers, the mentors, studied with some of them, learned from some of them. And then a few years later, I ended up traveling, traveled to Thailand, studied with some monks, traveled to Israel, rabbis, met some rabbis and studied with some of them, traveled to India. And it was my time in India that enabled me to really crack open to another dimension of my own truth and my own

self. And that was really powerful and beautiful. And so, yeah, then I came back and started coaching people. This is before coaching was a thing, 20 some And so, yeah, then I came back and started coaching people. This is before coaching was a thing 20 some years ago and started working with one person. One person changed, another person changed, one person came, another person came, people started being referred to me and people came from around the world and it led to small groups, larger groups, larger groups, and then to bestselling books. And so here we are. You know, what's interesting is that as you are talking, and I'm so visual, so I'm visualizing all of this.

It's like a movie. It should be a movie, actually. It would be a great movie. But it's almost like you're an evolved person. You're an evolved version of your father yeah possibly i think in some way uh our work is healing in some way i just do it quite differently than he does it um but it's still connected to helping people see who they are helping people remember the truth of their being it's just in a different format in a different way yeah because like even when you said you know he was this miracle man healing people you know that's a

little out of the box yep in some way and so he was out of his box and doing things for his time. And what's interesting is I can relate, you know, my dad had a family business and I grew up in it. My brother grew up in it. My son grew up in it. And I remember looking at my dad one day going, you know, I don't really want to do this. And he's looking at me, what, what, what do you mean? Like you make good money, you know, you have your kids here with you, you know, you take a two hour lunch, you know, I knew something in my soul wasn't involved. This wasn't my choice. It was more of what he thought was my legacy, but it wasn't. It wasn't my legacy. And he passed. But I think now

many of the things that he taught me and many of the things that he made me go to school for to help him, I use today in sense of soul. And I think he'd be very proud of where I'm at today. And I think that that's what this time is. And powerful talks like yours is so important for people to hear, to reclaim their power. So how do you lead somebody who may come to you who's been in a little tiny, small box their whole life? What's their first step of peeking out of there? Yeah, I think it's different for different people. And what I really do is I help people become aware of their conditioning, because I think we're all

conditioned. But if just for the sake of the conversation, because I don't think it's a formula, like do this, do this, do this, everyone is so uniquely conditioned in their own ways. But I think a simple place where people can start, I think, and one of the reasons that I think we stay stuck as human beings are because all the ways that we lie to ourselves. As human beings, we're constantly lying to ourselves about who we are, about what we feel, about what we want. And we're conditioned to lie to ourselves from childhood because, oh, who do I need to be to get love validation approval? So let me deny a part of myself. Let me hide a part of myself. Let me pretend to be what dad or mom wants me to be or society wants me to be so that they love me.

And so we lie about who we are just to function and survive. And eventually, we don't even know that we're lying to ourselves. We think that the version of ourselves that we are being to function and survive. And eventually, we don't even know that we're lying to ourselves. We think that the version of ourselves that we are being is who we truly are, but it's just condition. And so I think if we want to just start, there is no transformation, real transformation without truth. You can meditate all you want, you can pray all you want, you can do whatever you want. But if you're lying to yourself and you're not telling yourself the truth about who you are, what you feel,

what's not working, what's not aligned, nothing will change. We stay in relationships that aren't aligned and that we're no longer in love out of fear, out of comfort, out of familiarity, out of safety, out of what will people think. We work jobs that we hate,

as you mentioned, jobs that are on the line, maybe that compromise our integrity, because we're afraid and survival. And so I think if we're willing to be willing, sometimes it's hard, but if you're willing to be willing to just ask yourself the question, number one, what lies am I telling myself? Simple question, not always easy to do. Otherwise, we would all be doing it. To me, happiness is not really that complicated. Feel the truth, acknowledge the truth, tell the truth, live the truth. Happy life, I mean, it's not complex, but because we're conditioned, it's not always easy. And so if you're willing to just start with looking at what lies am I telling myself,

and just stare at the truth will set you free. And there is like, you have to want the truth and to be free more than you want what you have. And if you truly want to be free more than you want what you have, I think that can begin a process inside, a process of healing. So what lies am I telling myself? And I think it also helps to look at what am I pretending to not know? Because many times the ego plays a game, the ego, which is our perceived sense of what we believe ourselves to be, plays a game of confusion. Like, I don't know, I'm confused. I'm not sure. I don't know what to do. I don't know what my purpose is. I'm not sure if this relationship is right for me. Well, deep down, we know. Deep down, there's a part of us that knows. Deep down, we know everything at that

deepest level because we are connected to everything. But because we're afraid of the consequence, we sort of create a smokescreen of confusion around us so that we don't have to know and actually take action. And so I tell people, just take the pressure off of yourself of having to take action. You don't have to take action, but just acknowledge the truth. Might sound like, I hate my job. Feel that. You don't have to leave. I'm not in love with my husband or spouse anymore. You don't have to leave, but just acknowledge the truth that gets you in relationship with what is, and that starts a process of feeling certain feelings, which then takes you down a journey of transformation. So I think if we can start with the truth and then allow ourselves to

feel the feelings that we have learned to suppress. So it may just start with looking at what are the lies I'm telling myself costing me? Usually, there is pain. When we lie to ourselves, it is painful. It's not meant to feel good. It's not meant to feel great when we lie to ourselves. So if we can just acknowledge the pain, the challenge is one of the things that keeps us stuck in certain patterns is we feel the pain, but we've learned so creatively as human beings to distract ourselves from the pain. We drink it away. We smoke it away. We drug it away. We sex it away. We shop it away. We, you know, social media it away, right? Just so that we don't have to deal with the pain and we stay doing the same things over

and over again. And so to me, the pain is a blessing. The pain is a gift. The pain is a feedback mechanism trying to show us where we are not living in integrity or where we are not connected to a deeper truth. And so I think if we can use the pain as feedback, use the pain as a communication tool, use the pain, then we can use it to course correct and bring ourselves back. And so I think if we can start with the truth, that's the foundation and the willingness to feel those feelings that we've learned to suppress. Because as children, you know, we were born free. We were all free.

We were free. We would jump on the table naked. We didn't care what we looked like. We would pee on the floor until we were told care what we looked like we would pee on the floor until we were told well that's wrong you don't look so great you know we would sing at the top of our lungs we we didn't care we didn't sound like Bruno Mars or Adele we were just being free surrendered whatever whatever it is that we we were truly in our divine essence but the conditioning process started us so I think we all have to

realize and acknowledge that we're all conditioned. The degree to which we're conditioned is a degree to which we're not free. But often we don't know that we're conditioned because we think that the version of ourselves that we've become is who we are, but it's not. So we have to have the courage to question ourselves. The challenge is we often don't want to question ourselves because we're so identified with this version of ourselves that we've become. And that sense of identification is ego. Ego is that perceived sense of self that we believe ourselves to be. And the ego's job is to reinforce its existence.

And the ego's job is to protect you from getting hurt again like you were hurt when you were young. So the ego holds on so tightly to beliefs and ideas and certain structures, which makes change and surrender and letting go and questioning oneself very difficult because the ego resists because it feels like to change, to transform, to let go. That's a death. It's a death of what I perceive myself to be. And so we don't let go. We hold on tightly. And so if we understand that, then it starts changing our relationship. And so as children, we were free. We were surrendered. We were open. We were truly in touch with our essence. And so we incarnated into this human experience. We met our parents. God bless their souls. But most of our parents were interesting characters. They were doing the best that they knew how to do based on their conditioning and

their childhood and their parents. So now we're born into sort of a energetic, karmic momentum of conditioning. And maybe dad is crazy. Maybe mom's an alcoholic. Maybe they're fighting all the time. Maybe they're just good people, but they didn't know how to meet our emotional needs. And so two things happened. The first thing is we learned to shut down, disconnect, not feel, because it was too painful. Not feel the pain of my needs aren't being met. Not feel the pain of aloneness or helplessness. And that's too painful.

So if I can just shut it down, suppress it, erect walls around my heart, go numb, go into my mind, disconnect from my body, I don't have to feel the pain but the unfelt feelings for decades begin to pile up layer upon layer upon layer upon layer upon layer that begin to sort of hide and cloud our connection with our truth our connection to our light our connection to source energy our connection to what we truly are and we start losing touch with what we are,

even though what we are is already there, our true sense of soul, you know, as your podcast is called. And so the other thing is, we learn all sorts of strategies to contort ourselves into a shape to become who we think we need to be to get love, validation, and approval. So we develop a role, a mask, a persona of become the nice person, the good person, the caretaker, the over-responsible one that becomes a survival mechanism and a means of getting love, validation, approval, fitting in, getting certain needs. And so before you know it, we end up as adults in this kind of shape of a personality that is not who we really are. It's just what we've been conditioned to be to avoid pain and get love.

And so we have to be willing to question ourselves and acknowledge that we're conditioned and create the space in our lives to deal with and feel some of the feelings that we've learned to suppress and suppress and suppress and suppress so that we can sort of let go of some of the layers that we've been carrying, so that we can just reconnect with our true self. So I think feeling, the willingness to acknowledge the feeling is a key piece. And you said that when you were younger, you could feel so much around you. I think that happens to everyone. But yet, until now, do I really think people are actually addressing the fact that we can't feel the energies of other people, whether it's good or bad or situations or environments? We're feeling these things. And yet, had that been nurtured in me, like, yes, trust this feeling, trust this instinct that is natural, this primal intuition that you have always trust that that is what that is. You know,

I mean, it didn't happen until I was like my late thirties until I even understood that I was actually taking on everyone's emotions, everyone's pain around me, literally sometimes the pain. I mean, have you ever had someone like complain about a headache and all of a sudden you have a headache? I mean, I would have that all the time. I had no idea that I was just this open vessel to receive everything. And I was very codependent also because I was seeking comfort and love and whatever outside of me. I was just like your most unhealthy empath, which was called codependency. Absolutely. And I think that a lot of people nowadays are learning to acknowledge children's feelings for the first time.

And it's not all like, oh, tell me how you're feeling. No, it's like, what are you feeling? Right? What is this feeling in you? It's so important. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I fully agree. Another thing you said, when you were talking about being stuck, as I was picturing this loop, they keep on making the same mistakes over and over that they see that are mistakes. And they're trying to figure out who they are as if it's like a destination, but they're on this hamster wheel, right? Going in this loop when who they are is not at a finish line. Like they already are. They just haven't made that space yet to go within. Do you feel that once you do start to break these

conditions and start to shed them, it's been coming to me so much lately, that there is a grieving process, you kind of do grieve a little bit, who you were, the life you thought you were going to have, everything you believed in maybe wasn't true, you know? Yeah, I think grieving is a natural part of the process of letting go. And I think if you're grieving, that's probably a real sign that you are really authentically letting go. I'm not saying you can't let go without some grieving, but likely if you're really letting go, there's going to be some real grief because you're letting go for real rather than intellectually. I often tell people that to truly move into an authentic surrender, a true surrender, surrender as in the open-hearted embrace of whatever is happening,

where you're willing to say, you know, maybe it's shit, maybe it's not nice, but I'm going to fully open my heart and participate with this experience. Because a lot of times people think that when they're in acceptance, they're in surrender. So there's a difference between acceptance and surrender. Acceptance is when you can be in a state of, okay, it is what it is. I hate what it is. I don't like what it is. I don't agree. And I'm mad that it's raining outside.

And I'm not going to go outside because I accept, but I'm still upset. And so you're still not fully participating in the process of the experiences that are unfolding in your life. Like I accept that my dreams didn't happen, but I'm still a bit pissed off and mad that it didn't happen. And my heart's a bit closed and I'm angry and I'm mad at the universe, but I accept. Between acceptance and surrender, there is a phase that many times people miss. And this is the phase of grieving. And to grieve is to give space and feeling to what was, is to feel and release what was. Because true surrender and true evolution will require many deaths. Surrender is a death. And if you're truly evolving, truly evolving on the conscious spiritual path, you're going to be dying to who you were. You're going to be dying

to old versions of yourself. You're going to be dying to old relationships. You're going to be dying to dreams that you thought were but weren't. You're going to be dying to dreams that you thought were, but weren't. You're going to be dying to an old phase of your life. I remember having a friend and she's an amazing woman and she wanted to get married and meet her life partner for so much of her life. She finally met an amazing man and decided to get married. And they were on that journey a month out. And she called me up and she says, Kud, I feel so sad. I just feel full of grief. What's wrong with me? Like, I know I'm with the right person. And what she wasn't acknowledging was the grief. What she wasn't acknowledging was that she was actually about to move into a completely new phase of her life out of 10 years of basically being a single woman and moving out of singledom.

And now she's moving into coupledom and deep partnership in a whole committed way. It required a death of an old identity. And so true surrender is a death of what we thought was, who we thought we were, parts of ourselves, old relationships. This is a natural process of evolution. So, yes, we have to be willing to allow ourselves to grieve. But in our culture, we're not taught how to grieve but in our culture we're not taught how to grieve we're not taught to feel we're like taught oh you feel sadness you feel some grief yes take a drink but buy this phone buy these shoes like don't take like take this pill

and this will just get rid of it you don't't have to feel it. It doesn't really go anywhere because all feelings that aren't felt fully and healthily will either just stay stuck inside of you and will often manifest as some sickness or disease or some internal dysfunction, or will usually play out in some unhealthy way. And so I think we have to learn that no feelings are permanent. And so sometimes we don't want to allow ourselves to feel the grief because we have to learn that no feelings are permanent and so sometimes we don't want to allow ourselves to feel the grief because we have a feeling that it will last forever we have a feeling sense mistakenly that we won't be able to handle it it will be overwhelming it will be too much or we kind of have this idea that we want to stay in a high vibration state law of attraction high

vibration so i don't want to acknowledge the grief that I perceive as low vibration, but we don't realize that in doing that, in not acknowledging the grief, we suppress it, that we now just recreate experiences that correspond to the unacknowledged feeling. And so I think we have to learn how to surrender and embrace our grief. And so I would invite people to sit with what have you not allowed yourself to grief, even during COVID times, many dreams, many relationships, many thoughts, many things we wanted to do that didn't happen. And we just kind of moved on with our life. But sometimes, you know, when we don't allow ourselves to grieve, our hearts not fully open, when we don't allow us allow ourselves to grieve, we might not be conscious of like, why do I feel a bit heavy? Why am I not excited about this relationship? Why am I not so excited and feeling joy about the new possibilities,

because there's this sort of density and old energy that we're not even necessarily aware that we're carrying, because we're not like sad people. But there's just some heaviness that we haven't acknowledged and just intentionally consciously felt and let go of. The challenge, too, is sometimes people say, but could I felt my grief and I've cried and I felt. But the thing is, we sometimes don't realize that we are busy thinking about our feelings, thinking about our feelings rather than feeling the feeling. And there is a difference. our feelings, thinking about our feelings rather than feeling the feeling. And there is a difference. All feelings that are fully felt will in time dissolve.

And grief happens in stages. Grief happens in layers. It doesn't necessarily happen all at once. And so you might have a layer of grief and then feel fine. And then something will trigger another layer of grief, and then you'll be fine. And there might be layers and layers and layers of grief unraveling. So allow those waves. Surrender and allow those layers of grief, because it will pass.

It's like peeling an onion. It will pass. So what I tell people is to truly feel. Take the label off of the feeling. Don't even call it grief. Don't call it anything. Take the label off of the feeling. And don't try to get rid of it, analyze it, do anything. Just experience the sensation of that feeling in your body. If you just allow yourself to experience the sensation

of that grief in your body, then you can just be one with it. Then you can just fully experience it without any deflection. Then you experience it fully, it can begin to dissolve as you're just with it. Whatever you can just be with, merge with, be one with, there's no resistance. It tends to, every feeling has a natural cycle. Then the natural cycle of that feeling can just unravel itself and come to completion and so this is one way that people can just feel their grief oh i love that i love that often i have i've told people when they're trying to figure out right what is this they're like obsessed with it like i'm trying to figure out what it is and why I do this and this.

And I said, it's almost like your ego is trying to figure out your ego. Yeah. You know, one of the reasons that the ego, our perceived sense of self kind of feels like if I can figure it out and understand everything, then I can control it. And we seek to try to control everything because if I can control everything. And we seek to try to control everything,

because if I can control everything, we've learned to control our feelings growing up, like, oh, let me just disconnect, go numb, do this, do that, disconnect, not feel my feelings. Then I don't have to feel the helplessness that I felt when mom or dad wasn't around. Then I don't have to feel the helplessness or the pain that I felt when they were fighting all the time and how out of control it felt. And so the method of trying to control everything, which disconnects us from the flow, is a well-intended but limited pathway. It's well-intended, but it's a limitation. It puts limitations on us. And that way worked for us when we were five. Maybe when we're 10, by the time we hit 25 and 35 and 45, it starts limiting our capacity to open our hearts and experience life. And so we

mistakenly feel that if I can control everything, then I'm not going to get hurt again, like I was hurt, but it's not true. It starts limiting us. And so we have to be willing to meet those parts of ourselves that are controlling those parts of ourselves that are controlling, those parts of ourselves that are sabotaging And those coping mechanisms are still ways of being that we have taken into our adulthood. And we are still living those patterns out as adults, even though we're no longer children. And so if we can just, sometimes part of surrendering is to surrender to the fact that you're not surrendered right now. And rather than forcing surrender, you can just meet the part of you that's afraid and hold it with love. And that's when healing happens. Healing happens when you can bring loving to those parts of yourselves that are terrified and afraid.

You know, first of all, I've given your book away a few times because let's just learn this right off the bat. Right. Let's not wait and be my age, right? Let's just learn how to let go and let flow. Cause it is generational too. Cause when you were just talking, I thought about how, you know, a lot of times, you know, how your parents did it and their parents did it. And maybe we evolve a little better, but only if you've made a conscious decision to say, well, this stops with me and I'm going to decide not to do it the way they did it and find another way that's going to be best for me. That's what I did. I mean, I look at my dad who passed away, you know, in his sixties, he shouldn't have died in his sixties. He was full of life, but he had no tools. He had no

tools to handle stress. His parents, they didn't have tools. So here we go. It's like this generation didn't have very many tools. I just remember thinking, I'm a lot like my dad. This was a very pivotal moment in my life because I had anxiety like him. I was a workhorse like him. I was always doing the most. We were both like half-ass multitaskers trying to do everything, spreading ourselves so thin. And just one day I said, you know what? I don't want to die at 60 years old.

I would like to be the one that controls that rather than it controlling me, I would like to control my pain rather the pain control me. So I, you know, I did the work and I and I went in and I found the tools I want to talk therapy is how I started then led into mindfulness. But the most important thing I think I learned about this journey is impermanence. I am me and you are you, even my children. And people ask me this about impermanence all the time. You know, what about your children? They have their own journey and I have to love them in a way that I'm present with their love because I could lose them at any moment and allowing people to evolve and change,

allowing relationships to grow. And maybe sometimes that's even a separation and being okay and accepting it, knowing that we all are impermanent. Absolutely. Absolutely. Look, it's the nature of this life. We will all die.

You're going to die. I'm going to die. Everyone, Jesus died, Buddha died, Mother Teresa died. Every single human being that's ever come into this human incarnation all die. You're going to die. I'm going to die. Jesus died. Buddha died. Mother Teresa died. Every single human being that's ever come into this human incarnation will die. Ultimately, we are infinite beings. We are infinite beings, infinite expressions of the divine. At that deepest level of what we truly are, we're beyond birth. We're beyond death.

But this physical human body will die. The truth is, every seven years, this body creates itself anew. And so this body is not the same body that you even had seven years ago. So technically, you've died many, many times in your life. If you live till 70, you've died like what, 10 times, it's literally not the same body. And so I think we just have to understand the nature of this dimension. This 3D realm is a realm of duality. It's a realm of impermanence. It's temporary. It's transitory.

Hair falls out. We get wrinkles. The body changes. Sure, we can take care of ourselves and do yoga and eat healthily. But at some point, we will go and none of us know when the moment's going to come. Hopefully, we all live a long life. Maybe it's 60 for some. Maybe it's a long life. Maybe it's 60 for some, maybe it's 80 for some, maybe it's 90 for some, maybe it's 120. Maybe someone will live to 200,

but at some point, the body will expire. And so I think it helps to really understand who you really are. Because if you just think you're simply this body, and you know, there's no investment in the mainstream world, in the media, in the mainstream world to know who you are. In fact, I think there's kind of a, I don't want to say agenda for you to not know who you are, because if you don't know who you are and you believe you're just this physical body that is impermanent, just this ego structure, and you're so identified with that, then you will be terrified of death because you think that what you are is going to die. And the truth is, when you know that you're an infinite being, truly, that there is an infinite energy and consciousness inside of you, that you are, that is your very being, it frees you up in certain ways and you become truly powerful. You can't be manipulated

with fear and control and advertising. And so this 3D realm is a realm of impermanence, is a realm of duality, is a realm of interdependent polaric opposites. That's the nature of life, plus, minus, up, down, good, bad, right, wrong, left, right, male, females, yin, yang, it's the Tao. And I think when we can embrace that and accept that, just look at, left, right, male, females, yin, yang, it's the Tao. And I think when we can embrace that and accept that, just look at the nature of life. The seasons change, the leaves fall off the trees, the sun rises, the sun sets every day. It's just the constant nature of things. When we fight the nature of things, we suffer. And so part of suffering happens as human beings when we try to find permanence in the impermanent.

We try to find the infinite in the finite. To me, the true dimension of perfection, of wholeness, of infiniteness, of permanence is not out here in the world, but it's in the depth of our being, what we truly are. And so I think to be free, we have to really ask ourselves, who am I? What am I really? What is it that doesn't die? What is it that doesn't die? What is it that doesn't die? Because when we know what that is, we are free to be in the impermanent world. And there is a peace there because we're no longer looking for what can't be found in this world.

And that's a freedom. But I think when we can embrace the duality and the impermanence of the 3D existence, it can free you up to savor every moment. And it frees you up to celebrate every moment. And it frees you up to just fully experience every moment because this moment is the only guarantee. This moment is the only thing you have. And the ego, I think in many ways like it doesn't want things to change so it wants to reinforce its existence and so it wants to live forever it wants things to be the same and that's not the nature of things and so that's why we suffer so much because we tend to be so identified in our ego but i think if we can embrace change

and surrender to change and celebrate change, then we can just really realize like, I can't control tomorrow. But what I can is just live fully here right now, and now, and now, and now, and now. And that's, that's where I think the freedom is. Yeah, absolutely. That's it. I really truly think that is how we evolve, how we understand even the world's problems. I mean, sometimes we're so attached to the way we did it in the past or how to do it in the future, but neither even exist know, because why should I stay attached to the younger version of me that didn't have the wisdom that I do today? Yeah. Surrender is the nature of life. And it's not about whether you're going to surrender or not. It's just about how we will participate in the process of life that is surrender. You can surrender now. You can surrender tomorrow, you can surrender in 10 years, but at the end of your life, we will have to surrender. And if there is such a thing as a

next lifetime, then maybe next lifetime. But at some point, we're going to have to surrender. And so it's about how do we participate, we can go through life resisting the way it is shouldn't be this way, shouldn't be, but it is that way.. But it shouldn't change. It is that way. It's going to change. The night will come. Nothing lasts forever. But the good news is even the worst times are impermanent. And the worst times and the darkness will also not last forever. So if you're going through dark moments, realize too, this too will not last forever.

And this is why I tell people, when you're experiencing joy and happiness, don't hold on to it. Because the more you try to keep that expansive, blissful feeling, like, I want to feel this forever, the more you start pushing it away and losing it. But when you're also experiencing painful moments and painful feelings, the more you try to get rid of it, the longer you'll keep it. And so just part of surrender is just experience your experience as you're experiencing it. And the more you just be with your experience as you're experiencing it,

there's freedom there. Whatever is arising, whatever is happening, that's the peace, that's the freedom. Then you're no longer dependent on life being a certain way, having gray hair, that's the peace, that's the freedom. Then you're no longer dependent on life being a certain way, having gray hair, not having gray hair. If you choose to dye your gray hair, cool, but your happiness and freedom is not dependent on, oh, I got a gray hair or I

don't. It's like, well, I'm going to dye my gray hair, but I could not dye my gray hair. Either way is fine. And I think that's the profound freedom because we will all surrender. We will grow. We will get older in this human body and then we will die. There's no way out of that. Isn't it interesting how even just the word surrender itself, some may think of it as weakness in some way. I mean, this is how conditioned we are. Like surrender with a white flag, surrender, like I give up. Yeah, we have this misconception in our culture that surrender is weak, surrender is passive, surrender is giving up, that if you surrender, you won't manifest your goals, dreams, and desires, that you're going to get less. And I'm actually saying, no, if you

truly surrender, what if you got more, more than you could even imagine, more than you could have planned with your conscious intention, more, maybe not what you expected, but better, but more. And so surrender is a letting go of control, or I should say the illusion that we were in control in the first place. Surrender is when you stop trying to force life to fit your limited idea of how you think it should be based on your ego's conditioning. It's taking the limitations off of life so you can be available and open. It's an openness. And I think surrender is the password to freedom. Surrender is the real key to manifestation and the next level of your life. All of the great ones, at some point, they all surrendered themselves. And in that surrender, they transcended their human limitations

and life was able to manifest through them and use them in ways that they could not have imagined that's where the magic happens the magic of surrender and you have to have the courage to let it go and which is also the other part of your book you know i was just in here thinking i don't think i have a book because i've given them all away i'm gonna literally have to buy another one of your books. I want to read it again. And I want to have one around when people, usually what it comes down to the root of it is that they're holding onto something. Yeah. I'm going to have to get a whole dozen of them to keep on. Thank you. Thank you. You are so wise and the way you speak is so powerful.

Tell everybody where they can get your book and also about what you have coming this summer. Yeah, a couple of things. Get the book. It's a simple book. It's an easy read. Get it on Amazon. It's on sale right now on paperback. Get the paperback version that's updated.

That's the first thing. The Magic of Surrender is a simple roadmap to living freedom in every area of your life and finding the courage to let go. Yes, this summer, if anyone is inspired by the conversation and the book, maybe you feel a calling to make a difference on the planet. Maybe you feel ready to uncondition yourself and let go of the past, connect to your true self and power and share your gifts with the world. And if you feel as though you have been put on the planet for a purpose bigger than yourself, twice a year for the last 10 years, I have done an event in Bali, Indonesia, a very special event called Boundless Bliss,

the Bali Breakthrough Experience. We've had game changers, celebrities, entrepreneurs, billionaires, visionaries, everything in between come on this incredible journey. I take 18 people at a time. there's, you know, visionaries, everything in between, come on this incredible journey. I take 18 people at a time. It is a 12 day experiential seminar training without walls, where I design a unique transformational process that is really designed to help you heal and transform. The last 10 years, I've done 20 events this year in 2023. This is my last year doing this particular event. And so this is it. If you were inspired,

seize the moment. July the 28th through August the 8th. July the 28th through August the 8th is the next one. You can find out more at www.boundlessblissbarley.com. That's boundlessblissbarley.com. Find out more there. You you can apply and also people can find me on my main website coot blackson k-u-t-e coot blackson b-l-a-c-k-s-o-n.com instagram coot blackson facebook coot love now my podcast so tall thank you so much you've got that sounds like a dream to go to in Bali. Yes, definitely. If you feel it, join it. It's beyond words.

It's beyond words. Do it. Surrender. If you feel the calling, surrender. That's right. Surrender. Whatever's holding you back, surrender it. Thank you so much, Q.

It's been such a blessing to have you back. Thank you. Thanks for listening to Sense of Soul Podcast. And thanks to our special guests for joining me. If you want more of Sense of Soul, check out my website at www.mysenseofsoul.com where you can work with me one-on-one or help support Sense of Soul Podcast by donating to my coffee fund. Thanks for listening.