Sense of Soul - Cheers to Chaos with Katie B Happyy

Episode Date: May 9, 2022

Today on Sense of Soul we have Katie Burke aka Katie B. Happyy, one of the fitness world's most popular health & wellness influencers and Master Yoga Instructor. She is a Master Motivator, and author of the new book ‘Cheers to Chaos: 8 Tools for the Puffy-Eyed and Powerful,’  where she shares raw, wild stories of master yoga teacher. Katy combined her BA in International Conflict Resolution with Master Yoga/Personal Training certifications and her mad dance party skills, get ready for a workout and most importantly get a WORK IN.   Katie B uses her b_inspired initiative to awaken a deeper part of your spirit. From losing her mom at 14 to breast cancer to her facial paralysis with Bells Palsy, she takes inner transformation seriously. Her b_inspired courses in India, Mexico, Costa Rica, Cuba, Italy, Spain, China, Colombia and beyond have challenged thousands of participants to combine sweat with DEPTH.    Katie B Happyy has been featured in SHAPE magazine, appeared on NBC, CBS, as an international lululemon model/ambassador, taught at festivals including Wanderlust, International Yoga Festival in India, The One Love Movement, Five Elements, Sweat for Service, and more. Her main mentors and influencers are Mooji, Swamiji Chitanand Saraswatiji, Brene Brown, Deepak Chopra, Tony Robbins, Landmark Curriculum, NLP, Mike Dooley, and a current candidate for her Masters in Leadership from USD. Currently, #b_inspired takes on public classes in San Diego, leading 8 international spiritual empowerment retreats annually, and sees private clients from all over the world virtually on a weekly basis.  Join the #b_inspired tribe @katiebhappyy www.binspired.life  Order her book here!  Visit our website to learn more about Sense of Soul Podcast. www.mysenseofsoul.com Join our Sense of Soul Patreon!! Our community of seekers and lightworkers who get exclusive workshops, live events like SOS Sacred Circles, ad free episodes and more. You can also listen to Mande’s mini series about her two NDE’s and Shanna’s Untangled mini series. Sign up today and help support our podcast. https://www.patreon.com/senseofsoul

Welcome to the Sense of Soul podcast. We are your hosts, Shanna and Mandy. Grab your coffee, open your mind, heart and soul. It's time to awaken. Today on Sense of Soul, we have Katie Burke, aka Katie B. Happy, a master yoga instructor and one of the fitness world's most popular health and wellness influencers, a master motivator. And she joins us today to talk about her new book, Cheers to Chaos, Eight Tools for the Puffy-Eyed and Powerful. Welcome Katie. Hi. Thank you for taking time to talk to us today. Yeah. Thank you for having me. I woke up this morning and thought of a funny thing. I was like, do you ever feel like the way you put yourself out there and

market yourself is hard to hold yourself up to? Like, is it always Katie be happy or is it Katie be fucking angry or Katie be pissed off? So I think it's, it's serendipitous that you asked that question because I'm not necessarily the happiest person. I'm from New Jersey. Like I'm crass and sarcastic. And so it kind of was a joke, like as it built up and then it became a thing. And now, yes, sometimes I feel like I have to show up happy and I just not like for every two good days, there's definitely one day where I'm like, I just, I don't want to hold space for you. I just need to be here and exist. I'm surviving, not thriving. Yeah. And that's okay. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Because I, I think that sometimes we get down on ourselves, especially if we're light workers and we feel like

we hold ourselves to these higher standards of always having to be like in the Zen realm. And so like always have to be happy. And that's just not realistic as humans. No. And that's kind of what I hope the book puts out is that it's eight tools for the puffy eyed and powerful because we can be puffy eyed and powerful. We can be assholes some days, and we can also be happy some days. And that's also okay. Oh my gosh. I seriously love that. I am puffy today, but not from crying. Mine's from allergies, but Hey, I can still be powerful. I love that picture of you with your eye covered. And so did you, you really did have an allergic reaction? I had felt palsy.

I was paralyzed. So you thought you were having an allergic reaction though. Right? Yeah. That first morning when I woke up because it comes on suddenly. And so the day before I'd had a bloody Mary and they're salty. So I thought maybe something was like, you know, puffy in that way. And when I woke up and went to the ER, well, I let it go for like the whole Monday. And I got to my night classes and there was an ER doctor in the class. And she was like, I don't think that's an allergic reaction. I think you should go to the doctor. So I went to the urgent care and the guy was so crass. He was like, yeah, you have Bell's palsy. You're going to be paralyzed for a little

bit. Your eye is stuck open. Your mouth is stuck open. You won't be able to blink, but 80% of people get their function back. And I was like, Oh my 20% don't like, Oh my God, I would have been freaking out. So it wasn't caused by anything. So it's Western medicine believes it's kind of like chicken pox. It's a virus that infects the cranial nerve. So it goes from your C7 to like your nerve insertion in your face and it fires your nerve was it's inflamed. So it has to cool down in order to work again. So if you think

about anything that's caused that causes inflammation, right? Like, you know, we know cancer is inflammation, but what causes it probably a lifetime of maybe caffeine booze, sunshine, or it's just bad luck. And a lot of people, 40,000 people in America get it every year. Okay. And like George Clooney's had it, Angelina Jolie had it, but like they go into hiding because it's so your face is just morphed. And the messed up thing is the face that the side that's broken, that doesn't work is the side that looks normal because you talk like this. And so this side is working and talking. And this side is just like a botched Botox job. It's just like stuck. I can laugh about it now, but like waking up and not being

able to blink, I had to like tape my eyes shut. I had to hold my lips together to drink or eat or things would fall out the right side of my mouth. Yeah. I had a, I had a student, um, at children's hospital who had this horrible disease where he didn't have connective tissue and he lost his, his eyelids just like fell off. So his eyes were always open and I never stopped to think about how grateful we should be because as you very well know, it gets dry. Like his eyes would just constantly water and hurt him. And he couldn't, I mean, there was no blinking. We don't realize like how much, you know, that helps. It was, I felt so bad for him. And, you know, we just the week before I was taking for granted, like I was feeling bloated

and it was getting back down on myself. Like we always do about weight and the silly things that all of a sudden, when you wake up one morning and your smile doesn't work anymore, like, you know, Katie be happy. We talk about it. I'm supposed to live up to this. I have horse teeth, like a big smile. And I sat in front of 600 yoga students a week. And so to not be able to smile and like, to just have to really take a step back first, I went to the why I was like, why did this happen to me? What did I do to cause it? Especially as healers, like we're trying to think what were the steps I took to get me to this moment. But then if I kept getting lost in the why I would lose

my ability to like accept and move forward because there's, they can't trace it. They can't trace where the inflammation comes from. It could be bad genetics mixed with bad. I don't know. No one knows. And so the idea is like, could I just accept what this was and maybe be that 20% and still be able to make people feel my smile, but not be able to smile physically, like to smile from my words instead of my mouth. Wow. That's like deep thought. And I think probably at some point during COVID, a lot of people have had to think about that, like with a mask on, not being able to see a smile, totally different, but like, are you still able to put that energy out without them seeing you actually smile? That's a really good point. I feel like with masks, we lose a lot of interaction. When I had Bell's palsy, I, you don't realize how much people use cues from your face for validation. And so when I wasn't able to give that people would

really like stare a little bit longer and wait for a response because my face didn't give them the response that they're used to. I didn't even think about it. It's the same with the masks. Yeah. My little girl's teacher last year, she said, how's Kinsley doing? And I was like, good. I think how's she doing? And she's like, it's so hard to tell with her because she's so introverted and I can't see her face, which gives me those clues with her. Like, is she struggling? Does she get it? So it's so true. Our face is such an expression of our emotions and our concern. Isn't that amazing? I never even thought about that. And I met someone who in my journey of healing, I went to a lot of acupuncture sessions and I saw this girl that was there as well. And I recognized immediately

that she had Bell's palsy. And I said to her, you know, oh my, you know, I'm a month in, nothing has happened yet. Like they say, if something starts to move, then that's a good sign. It means like it'll eventually all come back. And I felt like a little bit of a butthole because I said, oh, I like, I just waiting for that Twitch. I can't wait for that Twitch to come back. And she was like, I've had this my whole life. She's like, I was actually born with this. And I was like, wow. And to think, and then she said to me in the parking lot, I'll never forget. Like Katie, like you have to make them smile. You have to make them know that you're smiling without your smile because they're never going to know unless you like use your words to do it. She was a German girl. My aunt had that. Her whole left side was paralyzed, but hers was from being breached. And so when they went to

pull her out, she was in the birth canal for so long that it paralyzed the half of her face. I wish that I was more awake when she was alive, because I feel like we, we just ignored it. Like we didn't talk about it with her. And sometimes I hear from like the children in my class at children's hospital, when I worked there, that sometimes they would rather you just ask them instead of staring at them awkwardly, you know, ask her how it was living with that and get and got to know a little bit more about her story. But I think as, as a child, you would run from it and do the opposite because you thought it was an awkward, uncomfortable conversation to

have, or that she looked weird. You know, I feel like there's phases of all really visual injuries and healing, whether it's like my face, because there were some days my body worked fine. And so when I was just willing to get over my own superficiality and just move forward with my day, my body worked perfectly fine. Right. So I could go out for, I couldn't run because the wind would hit my eye too much, but I go for a walk. I could do hot yoga because of the steam. And so those days I was happy when people ignored me. I just wanted to be normal. But most of the days when people just kind of stare and they like it, they make it more awkward instead of just saying, Hey,

something is different, you know, or yeah. Yeah. You've been through some things that probably made you a lot stronger, a little bit, you know, seeking that inward expression of yourself. Cause I mean, a lot of people would have really struggled, you know, maybe a lot more than you did maybe because of the things that you went through as a child, having a mom that was sick and going through cancer. Can you talk about that? Yeah. My mom was a really strong business woman. She was one of seven in an Italian family and worked really hard and loved her job at the camera shop when you used to go to the mall to get your film developed. And she was really proud. She worked her way up. No one in her family had gone to college. And so it was a big deal. So she worked really hard and I got to watch that determination my whole life to the point where she hid her first bout of cancer from us.

It was when I was eight and my brother was five. So she would go on the weekends for her chemo so she could go back to work on Monday. And she just wanted so desperately to kind of, like we said, to be normal to the best of her ability. And then the cancer came back when I was 12. And this is a really silly thing to say, but I wish that she would have passed at a different time in my life. Like eight would have almost been better than a hormonal angry middle school girl, because the way that my, my self hate was then, and, you know, our hormones, we don't understand how our emotions and our feelings coupled with my mom balding and disintegrating her body, just getting smaller and smaller and her hair loss. And I just pushed her away. And that was the only way that I knew how to protect myself maybe because I kind of deep down knew that she was dying. So my eighth grade graduation, I was class president of 50 kids, go me, very big deal. And, uh, I was mortified because the local ambulance brought her in on a stretcher so she could be at my final graduation. And I just remember this, like hate this angry feeling. And I know, like I did, I, I know that my mom was a teenage girl at one point, so she knows the hormones.

And I did my best to hide it. I know that we ended on good terms. I said goodbye to her that next day. She passed away. And I got to be with her in her last breath, which was, I hope everyone in life gets that experience to be with someone when they take their last breath, because it's so quickly changed all of those petty feelings I was having about looks and hate and, and myself. And I was a little bit dealing with anorexia then that watching her go inhale and then exhale. And that was it. And as a 14 year old, I was like that there's gotta be more. There's got,

this can't just be it. My mom, her beautiful life that she created this, this legacy, this awesome spirit that all of a sudden just exhales. And that's it for her. So it kind of put me in check. A lot of that self-hatred washed away, at least the ego layer of it. And then I began creative exploration of figuring out why we get to breathe, why I got another breath because every second 1.8 people stop breathing. So why do we get another breath? We don't have control over that. And I don't know the answer, but I built a life having fun trying to figure out why. Holy shit, girl does. I mean, thank you for sharing that because my whole body just got

chills. Like I, I even had strange emotions. Like I was trying to, to put myself in your spot. Like I would have been grateful she was there, but I would have been embarrassed. Cause you know, you're just like this. You're at that age. I was so selfish too. Yeah. So selfish. Your world's so small. Yeah. That's my worst fear. Absolutely. As a mother, that was just absolutely my worst fear. That you leave your daughter. Yeah. Then I leave my kids. It's always been my worst care just I you know just let them get a little bit older but especially that age I can only imagine the fear your mom had and yeah yeah thank you so much for sharing I'm so sorry I was with my dad on his last breath yeah yeah my daughter's best friend, since they were little, her mom

passed away. I was so worried about Maddie because she was in eighth grade. She was your age. I mean, that is the toughest time in the world for a girl. Hormones. I mean, who's going to have those talks with her? Who's going to show her how to use a tampon? Who's going to go bra shopping with her? Who's going to buy her prom dress? Like all of this started running through my head for this poor girl because her dad didn't do any of that. Her dad didn't cook. Her dad worked.

Her mom did everything. And I was so worried about Maddie. And I still, I look at her and I'm like, I don't know how she's done it. She's a senior now in high school and she's doing great. And girl, I mean, power to you. That had to have been so difficult. Did you have another parent that stepped in and helped then? Yeah, my dad was very hands-on.

They had a great relationship. And actually my mom worked a little bit more than my dad did like time-wise. So my dad did like time-wise. So my dad did take on some of the cooking and the picking us up from the babysitter stuff. The problem is they were married for 25 years and he rightfully so kind of spiraled. So my freshman year, it was a free for all, right? Like it was just me trying to figure out my wild self. And I took it to extremes of like, we don't know if we're going to get another breath and let's party and let's figure it out. Right. And then I went the opposite way where I was more contemplative and took like seven days, silent retreats and trying

to figure out all the different spectrums of what life has to offer. And I mean, at 34, I still don't know, but I enjoy the plight of figuring it out because it always is shifting. And I mean, at 34, I still don't know, but I enjoy the plight of figuring it out because it always is shifting. And I do think deep in my, I know in my soul that I don't take anything for granted. And I wish, I don't want everyone's moms to die, but I hope that people get an experience in life early in life that reminds them that we're not immortal, right? We have so few opportunities to be fearless and to be courageous. And we never know when a brain aneurysm will happen or we get hit by a bus and how do we like create purpose and meaning. That's one of the things that's really important to me because I'm not always happy. It's just not my natural state. I'm sarcastic. I'm like crass. It's the Jersey in

me. Sure. But I think I have friends who are actually naturally more happy. That's just their state for me. I have to work hard to feel what we would call happy, but I do every day find purpose and meaning. And I think anyone can do that no matter what your natural state is. If you wake up and try to create purpose and meaning, that's a journey worth taking. I don't think anyone can do that no matter what your natural state is. If you wake up and try to create purpose and meaning, that's a journey worth taking. I mean, being happy is not easy for me either. I have to work at it and I've never heard anyone say it that way. And it just made me realize that doesn't mean something's wrong with me. And that quite frankly, it's okay. As long as I take that and make purpose. I love that. Thank you. You know, I think Tony Robbins said something like pain is a thing in life.

We're all going to have, but suffering is optional. Yeah. So it's like, all right, I can take the shitty Bell's palsy. I can take this shitty experience of losing my mom and I can either be the victim in it, or I can try to transform it into my power, try to make something of what's given because most things in life, these big transformational moments, we can't shift. You know, in the book, I also talk a little bit about my partner that I thought I was going to marry. We were together for six years. And at the end of it, it just,

it wouldn't have worked. And we both knew it. And it was like the most soul crushing thing because I fell in love with the potential of my life with him and what we were doing. And instead I wasn't actually giving or living that moment to myself and being honest with my intuition. I, I didn't know that there was a difference between your heart and your head, like your gut, let's call it in your heart. My heart wanted so badly to fight for the life that I thought in my head was there. And when I really got down to it and I was super honest with myself after a little bit of tequila, I realized that I wasn't listening to myself and trying to drown it out, let's say, but also could I create purpose and meaning around losing the person I thought I was going to marry and instead make it something that's

my superpower. It's still hurt. It's been five years and I have a new boyfriend I love deeply, but it's still like, it's still there, you know? Yeah. You, you know what, your personality reminds me a lot of Mandy's not just personality, but just kind of like, you know, you share your story. That's kind of, you know, you got on Facebook and you were sharing this and being vulnerable about a lot of these things. And you saw that you were inspiring people. And that was, that became kind of like your purpose. Am I right? Yeah. I don't claim to be a therapist by any means, but just like you said, when I start to share really open, I don't mind being very honest. Like I think it's the only thing we have.

And so when people were so shocked by my honesty, my, my authenticity, the vulnerability of the story. And for me, I was just like, that's my life. Like that's actually what's happening. It was helping people through my story. So like, I'm not the type of healer that wants to sit with you like a therapist would. I'm, I'm just a storyteller that hopefully gives you tools in your toolbox to mirror something that will help you too. I hope that the things I went through in some way aren't don't go wasted. Like maybe someone will get something from it. Yeah.

I'm very passionate about storytelling and being raw and vulnerable as well. And that's kind of how my journey started as well. I'll never forget probably one of the most terrifying but freeing stories I ever told was about how, when I was in my addiction, I would breastfeed my middle daughter while I was like, how to, you know, 1.75, a vodka in my hands, literally holding it, swigging it while I have her, you know, latched onto my nipple. And I was so terrified to tell this story, but the amount of people that reached out in my inbox and just said, this is the kind of story people need to hear, because I was able

to forgive myself for it. And it was, it was very freeing. And then it created connection with so many women who could relate, not the same way, but on a different level. And so, you know, Shanna and I say this a million times, and of course we're going to repeat ourselves when we've done this many episodes, but Shanna looked at vulnerability within her family. She was kind of taught that you, you do not share, like you just pretend everything's good and you put on your apron and you cook dinner for your family. So her and I had a real deep conversation one time on my back porch. I'll never forget that that day, cause the clouds were beautiful and she was seeing like this energy and we saw this beautiful, wasn't it like a massive

hawk, Shanna? Yeah, I do remember that day. Yeah. And we just had this very raw conversation about what vulnerability meant to her and what it meant to me. And I was shocked because I didn't realize other people thought of it that way. I was shocked that it was okay with you that you were spilling your guts like that. I feel like you are so inappropriate. She did. She was like, why would you want anyone to know? And I was like,

you know, it's hard to describe. It just, it kind of freed, it freed me from the shame and the guilt too. Do you feel that way? I think a hundred percent that shame and guilt only go away when you bring light to it. Like, I don't know, I'm not a mom yet, but like, I think that would give me a lot of solace. If I did something during breastfeeding that I was scared that was going to fuck my kids up. Oh, sorry. Oh no, we're all about that. Okay. Okay. If I was, if I, if whatever it was, I was fearful, I was going to fuck my kids up, but then you have to hold that. Like, I'm, you're not the only one who's done that. And the more you say that other people

are like, oh wow. It's not as big of a deal. I mean, like the telling of the story, let's other people take that weight. And that's where Bell's palsy comes from. Inflammation is holding that shame and guilt. It's like letting that natural weight just weigh on you of holding something that you think is horrible. And I'm sure your daughter's fine, right? Totally. Yeah. I like joke around with my kids about it. Like my kids were raised in AA and I always joke around with them like, because that's my personality. I'm like, well, maybe it's a good thing I did because like, you're way smart. So maybe I dummied you down a little, maybe you would have been like way too smart and weird. You just never know. Right. You probably did something. It was,

it was divine intervention. I don't know. The point you just made, I think so important. We can internally make ourselves so sick. I mean, I remember the night I had my big asthma attack, I cried myself to sleep and I just had heavy emotions on me. And I wasn't, I wasn't, I, my self-care was really, really shitty. Correct me if I'm wrong, but it sounds like your whole life, you were kind of battling like vanity, like trying to, you know, be pretty. You also went through the shitty dating apps and had to go into that realm of chaos. And it, but it sounds like you were always lacking a little bit of self-love, which I think women, especially when we're comparing ourselves to, you know, Cindy Crawford or, um, you know, Beyonce really struggle with that.

I, so I'm 34. I'm very lucky to have lived in the last generation that didn't have smartphones in high school and like social media. I didn't get it until I think I was like late twenties. I don't know what this next phase, like our daughters are going to have to go through any, all genders, but the amount of comparison that we get into as we get older, just like my 14 year old self was, it had a very small world at the time. It's soul crushing. And there's gotta be a way that people who are healers, people who have been through things can lighten the load off of what's coming. Because if we filter our life, if we filter our photos, if we filter, if we hold back our stories, then all that's going to create is more and more weight dis-ease in our body. I always give the

analogy, like if you were to hold your phone out about arms width distance from your chest or a water bottle, I'll do a meditation where I say, you know, if you feel like this phone is pretty light, but over time, if you held this for a minute, for two minutes, for three minutes, this really light thing becomes super taxing on your shoulders, on your neck, on your arms. You can start to feel subtle pain building, but you ignore it, you ignore it. And then this little thing that's still there, the story we're holding back or the secret we're not telling that all of a sudden you have bad posture and then you pull your lumbar spine and all of a sudden you have bad posture and then you pull your lumbar spine and all of a

sudden your disc pops. It's like injuries don't typically happen. Most injuries. It's not just one-off thing. It's over time. Tension has built over time, stress and disease in the body. And then something happens where it pulls pops or twists. That's why yoga and breathing techniques and stretching techniques are so important because even any movement modality, because what happens is we're taking all of that stuckness and trying to push it out of our system. All this heaviness that we're holding here, we can kind of stress that tension out at the end of any movement practice, whether it's dance or yoga or walking, even you suddenly feel better, right? Like something about whatever the issue you were holding feels lighter.

And so for me, yoga is that, that let go that I do. I also go for long walks, especially in COVID. That's really been helping a lot of my COVID fatigue and anxiety, but after a long walk, then I'll make the decision. It's like that tension I've been holding is kind of shaken off from whatever movement I have and the dis-ease we're holding, it gets a little bit lighter, I'd say. Yeah. How does someone get started? I feel journey. I feel like it intimidates people. I also feel like it's gotten so trendy inside of gyms and stuff that people don't really know the true core and value of what it brings to someone's health. Yeah. I got started in yoga after my first love breakup in college, you know, the sappy lust love that never works, but so deep

and true. And people said, cause I was always into like running or just physical fitness to feel better, but never yoga itself. It was always too slow for my A-type personality. And so after the breakup, you feel pretty vulnerable, like beaten down and a little sluggish. So yoga felt appropriate. And there's something about half pigeon. It's that stretch where your leg is in like a figure four shape and you're laying on it. Half pigeon is an opportunity for your hips to decompress, but there's something magical about letting space in your hips, especially for women, because we have childbearing nice, beautiful, big hips. And when that tension released, I just had this like emotional release, cry, physical,

whatever it was. And I didn't know how to describe the magic until, you know, you just keep going back. I also was lucky enough to experience a teacher who's, who had words that I didn't have. And this is really important. I think for anyone who's trying to, to learn how to, to be a better version of themselves, but doesn't have the tools or doesn't know where to go. I think for anyone who's trying to, to learn how to, to be a better version of themselves, but doesn't have the tools or doesn't know where to go. I found one person that I wanted to mimic. Her name was Jen Richardson. And I loved her, the words that she had. I had never spoken to myself that way before the things she said in class that were so uplifting. They were a way for you to think deeper about yourself and love the inside rather than the

outside. And just the way she spoke, I started to almost regurgitate and repeat those words to myself in my head. And in yoga, they call it a mantra. The Sanskrit word is mind vehicle mantra. That's what it translates to. And so I started as simple as it is repeating positive affirmations within a class. And that held a space for me as a young 20 something to just realize that I had those words. I didn't have to be the person I was from New Jersey. I moved up to script and I was able to build on it. And I feel like yoga in and of itself, yoga means to unify, to yoke is what the Sanskrit translates to. And so there are millions

of different versions. There's the fancy schmancy look good version, but there's also a spiritual path at which you slow everything else down around you and you just get into your body. And the more advanced practitioners, the more advanced you are, the more you realize that no one else in the room matters. And when you first start, you're comparing yourself to the handstands or the, you know, the girl in the hot yoga outfit or whatever it is. And then the more you show up, the more you realize that it's just like brushing your teeth, but for your mind and your body every day, we brush our teeth and no one likes it. I mean, your kids, I'm sure when you taught them to brush their teeth, they did not want to do it. And then eventually as an adult, we still don't like as an adult, we keep brushing our teeth

because we know it's preventing cavities, but we can't see the cavities being removed. It's the same with yoga. It became my toothbrushing for my mind. I don't love every yoga class I go to. I love what it does to help me be less reactive and less, less crazy, less emotional when I leave because it takes out the cavities of my excess energy, whatever emotion I was feeling that I can see that emotions, not me, but it's still, I'm still really angry. Yeah. If I go to the class, then I get the release. And that's where, that's where it originated from. I've taught in India eight times now. I've been to, I teach at the international yoga festival. And so you've got these ancient traditional chanting, very more meditative yoga at the festival. And then you've got something more like mine, more Western where it's fun and funky and dancey, but the whole ultimate goal is to get you to stillness at the end of class, no matter how you move, it's to make you feel more connected,

more relaxed, and a little bit less emotional in whatever you're carrying. Yeah. I love the chanting ones. That's what I did. I said, I love the chanting yoga. What is it called? Oh, like Kirtan, the music.

Yeah, Kirtan. Yeah. Oh, it's so good. Do you know Sean Johnson and the Wild Letters fan? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's so good. Do you know Sean Johnson and the wild lettuce fan? Yes. Yeah. Love Sean. And that's my favorite. It's so good because you know, yoga isn't just what Asana is the word for the, like the postures down dog. It's not just that, although the West starts that way because we're so a type that it takes us moving like that to slow, but Kirtan, the music, that's also yoga, using your voice and singing.

It's anything that unifies your mind, your body and your spirit to slow down and like be there. Okay. Well, Savasana is my favorite. Yup. That's everyone's favorite corpse pose at the end. You just lay there and relax. That's so funny. Yeah. And then I was going to say, and then the benefit of it is just the extra little, you

know, gold is that it helps you to stay fit and to become more flexible. And so, you know, talk about the health piece of it. You talked about the mind. I mean, what does it do for your body? I think no matter what age you are or what flexibility level you think you are, it's important that you are connected to the body you walk in. I don't, I can't tell you how many people I've met that aren't connected to this, this vessel. They ignore the signs and the signals. There's such amazing benefit. If you just took 10 minutes a day to just breathe and stretch into

your body your body's a natural healer it wants to bring itself back to balance so it's going to send you signs and signals but you have to slow down enough and stretch and get into it to be like oh i do feel extra tension in my back maybe i should pay attention to that or oh i do feel that in my neck but if we just plow through the, it's not like we're even living in our body. The benefit physically, it lowers your blood pressure, of course, and you're more in tune to the signs and signals. So you probably won't get injured as badly

because you're aware of the sensations more easily through the stretch. Or that time I always say like, I wish I could tell my students when you're 80 and you fall, you're not going to break your hip because you're doing the work right now. Right. You're like building that length and strength and the connective tissue. That's going to keep your muscles more supportive and keep you stronger longer. Like that's just it. You do get strong from the poses and you do get more in tune with the signs and signals of the leverage of your body. Yeah. I'm a body worker and I, it's, you

know, it's so amazing to be able to bring awareness on a deeper level to someone who has like a chronic, you know, like neck pain, you know, like, yeah, there's no, there was no injury that's caused this. So the, the tightness is energy, but it is. That's exactly like what you're saying with the, with the cell phone being heavy with your energy work and all of the body work that you do, you're helping people realize where it is and how to release it. I don't think people realize. And like, I think most of us are walking through life, not feeling the body that we live in. Yeah. You know, sitting with the discomfort, sitting with those yucky feelings, you know, we've been taught to run from them. Yeah. And so it sounds like that's kind of one of the things that you also push for people to do

is to sit with it. And then once they sit with it, how do they truly fucking let it go? Because surrender is one of the hardest topics that in impermanence for our listeners and for people we know to grasp. We've had on who wrote a beautiful book about surrendering, but it's also one of the steps in Alcoholics Anonymous. But when you say, let that fucking shit go or let go, let God or surrender it over, people are like, what does that actually fucking mean? Like, how do you do that? And is there faith involved? And the reason I'm asking you is because you so beautifully explained things like the cavity. I loved that. Like you really break that shit down

for people. So how do you break down letting go, letting that shit go surrendering? I don't think that humans are brought into life to like have a joyful ride. I think we're lucky if we can create purpose and meaning in this short dip of life that we get. I was raised Catholic. I am not a practicing Catholic anymore. I'm, I believe that there's something more like when I watched my mom take her last breath, I don't know where she is or how she is or where the energy field is she's in, but I don't think that this is just it, but I also take the pressure off myself of having to know. So if I can live this life, knowing that pain is inevitable, but suffering is not, that's optional. Then I can take on each of these milestones that come our way.

My breakup, my Bell's palsy, even just now, like general COVID fatigue, I feel so less motivated than who I was two years ago. And I can't get out of this comparison hole. I just depressed is the right word because I feel literally my shoulders are depressed. I feel sluggish, but it's not like true, true deep depression. When we have these feelings of pain that are inevitable, how can I create purpose and meaning out of it? I say like, I think in the book, I say something like you're sitting at rock bottom cafe and you know, the only way to go is up. And so it's either we just wait. And we know that this is part of it that actually, instead of trying to fight it, what if instead, this is how it was supposed to be. And I'm not

even a fate person, but that's what I tell myself. Okay, here we go. This is my, I'm paralyzed now. What do I do in this life to keep making myself have purpose and meaning I'm invested in making this world a better place for myself. First and foremost, that's important because we have to, to be in the ride ourselves, but also I don't think we're just here for us. I don't think we're just here for us. I don't think we're just here like ants. We need to be here and know that what that pain is, is given. So when we're asked to let it go, I don't think I ever let it go. I just share with you.

I still feel emotional about my ex. I don't think I'll ever let it go. It just becomes less the farther away we get from it, the less intense it feels. I'm sure even like thinking back to when you're, when you were nursing and drinking, like, it's not that you've let it go. It's just different. Right. It's the same with my, um, superficiality.

I don't feel, I still care, you know, I still care to wear mascara every day. And I still care about my physical fitness. It's not like I've, I've stopped caring about how I look. It's more that the intensity at which I view it has lessened. It's like water over sharp rocks. You know, there's always jagged, like rocks when a rock first breaks, but then over time, even water smooths the edges. It's like shit in our life is a rock. And over time, the water smooths the edges. It's like shit in our life is a rock. And over time, the water will smooth the edges, but you just have to, faith is a word we can use. I'm okay with that. Like we just have to have faith in ourselves that time heals. Yeah. I know, boy,

I wish that Miss Universe, that Chelsea, Chris would have gotten your book before she decided to take her life. Yeah. You know, cause I feel like that's where she was, you know, and that's where a lot of people, you know, in their God, what is midlife anymore, you know, in their twenties and thirties are kind of facing. And a lot of times I think it is pain to purpose. And so when you're looking for your purpose, you have to look at the pain and kind of transform guys seen that, uh, the meme that's like the comparison of the new sex in the city remount, the rollout with the women that are in their sixties. And then that sounds funny. Okay. So there's a new sex in the city rollout, right? I think it's called, I forget it's on HBO, but they're all in their sixties and they're very, you know, golden girls. Yeah. And then the golden girls, they're the same age as the golden girls.

Really? So they're in their sixties, Sarah, Sarah, Jessica Parker, and she looks like she's 20 and the golden exact same age. Oh my God. That's insane. Right. Think about our poor society. Now at 60, you're supposed to look 20 and we used to honor like grandmas, you know, like, Oh, that was so sweet. Yeah. Although the white hair has come back. I'm about ready to embrace that one. Oh my gosh. I just thought of something totally off the wall. This is how my brain works. I don't, I don't even know why this came to me, but I'm thinking like, we don't want to get into this topic, but like vaccinations, I was like, oh my God, like I was so worried about getting the vaccination, but I sure the fuck didn't

question the Botox they were injecting in my forehead. Right? There's just so much pressure on everyone to value the skin and the flesh that we're in. And if anyone can get anything out of our podcast session, it's just like this fades, all of it. And we have to create purpose and meaning and find value in who we are from the inside because hopefully the soul lasts much longer than whatever this flesh suit that we're in. Well, not only that, but now that I've

connected on a deeper level with my body, with my DNA, by doing ancestry work, I do find value within my body, my skin, and all these things on a way deeper level and have value for it on a spiritual level. Okay. I'm into that because of what you've been made of and who made you. Yeah. I mean, absolutely. I mean, connecting like the trauma with many things that have been passed down as in like

diseases and cancers and stuff like that. And you tried to heal through that trauma and like really changing. And that's what epigenetics is. So like everything I've been going through lately has all, all been around the body, which I was much like, you said that person is where like, I don't give a fuck about this body, especially during the beginning of like my spiritual journey. I was like, Oh, I'm just going to stay up here and live in the meditation world.

This is wonderful. Who needs a body? Yeah. But you know what? All of those little pains that I end up kind of sitting with led me to that deeper experience of where this body came from. And that became my journey so much deeper. I love that. You know, there there's new studies out of about the moms who are pregnant in COVID and about how, um, the stress that they felt from being in the pandemic,

they could tell in the development of the new newborns. Now it's not like life altering, but the trauma, because we were in a global pandemic. So it's a study that you can actually track the total difference of these moms that felt such despair and confusion. You're kidding. I'm going to have to research this. Yes. They did it on the moms that were pregnant that lived in New York during 9-11 as well. Oh, wow. Yeah.

You know, I, I think about that all the time with, with my little one, because, you know, I had just, you know, come out of ICU and been in a coma from an asthma attack and got pregnant shortly, shortly later. And I was dealing with so much trauma at the time while she was inside of me, like so much. I, I wonder how it's affected her. I don't know. Just got done watching that Hulu special dope sick. Did you guys watch it? We started it last night night but my husband and i both have struggled with addiction and i was like okay we got to be like in a better place to watch this because it was very triggering it's hard it's i cried every all eight episodes and what is it called dope sick

it's the dope d-o-p-e the idea is in the 90s it's a true story about the Sackler family who got a different label at the FDA for Oxycontin. And because of this label that they labeled non-addictive for an opioid, it killed hundreds of thousands of people because they, they mislabeled it, but you know, it's the inner workings in the back channels of money and got this opioid that was highly addictive, uh, labeled only 1% of people got addicted to it. And so you see, as it's panned out and even until now, they're still working with like taking this family down, um, for what they did. And so the point I'm trying to make of this is they talk about trying to get this opioid, this declassified opioid into Germany and the German government will not let them in. They're like, no, we think pain is a necessity. Like, because they were prescribing Oxycontin in the nineties for headaches and toothaches.

They were just trying to, they were fishing it out like candy. And the more, and their answer to fixing anyone that was addicted was giving them more because apparently it wasn't addictive. So anyway, they never got into Germany because Germans believe, and they, the German government said that pain is a part of life and we need to feel these things. You need to feel the toothache in order for it to, to, for you to know when it's healed or to go through the process of being careful when you chew or taking time to heal and stepping back. This metaphorical toothache is all of our lives.

We all have pains that we try to avoid with whatever your addiction is. If it's TV, if it's scrolling, if it's booze, if it's drugs, whatever it is, over-exercising, that's been one of mine, my escapes. You have to feel it. You can't just mask it or else it's going to come up in ways that kill us. Somehow it will come up because it doesn't go anywhere. It's energy. Good for the Germans. Well, and guess what?

It also will go to your children. It'll follow in that lineage until someone decides to sit with that pain and let it go. Got to feel the heal, right, Shanna? Yeah. So Katie, tell us about Be Inspired. So one of the silver linings of COVID was that I got to record lots of goodness that I always taught live in person. And so before COVID, I was an international retreat company where we do self-adventures around the

world. We go everywhere from Morocco, South Africa, Mexico, Italy. I've been to almost 30 countries and we take, it's like an all-inclusive trip for a week. You go enjoy the country that you're in. There's massages and workshops in the morning and self-empowerment workshops and then movement practice. And then we have fun at night. And it's kind of like an adult all-inclusive that you just don't have to think about anything. We think about so many things in our lives. And I was running 10 a year in 2019.

And then COVID, obviously, we're not allowed to travel. So now it's both an international retreat company that helps you rediscover your power. And also you can do it on the app. We have an app. So it's, it's for anyone that needs a little reset. I write plans for you that are both meditation, movement, and stretching. So it's, we build, we balance and we break through in three types of movement practice so that you can kind of get back in. I test drove my new program on my dad too. He's almost 70 and he's never really like worked out. And I test drove an ease back into exercise program with him. So it's 70 year old dad approved. If anyone feels like I don't think I can jump into that. I've got,

I've got stuff for you too. Oh my God. Are you golden boys and girls? I'm loving all your bees, you know? So you build, what was the other one? So we build your endurance and strength. You balance your mindset and you break through limiting beliefs, things that you held true, a story about yourself that hopefully we can get rid of because this is for more bees for broken bad-asses. So I love how you say it's helping broken bad-asses recover from loss, rediscover their power and find their calling. So tell us the story. What's your favorite story in your book? Well, there's the opening. That's the most exciting, I think. And I think it gives a very good leeway into whether or not you're going to like this book. I go in hard. So I was leading a

retreat in Italy and there was these wonderful New York girls that were getting a massage and they came out and they were like, that was awesome. I got a happy endings. And I was like, what? Endings. Like, that's not a thing. Like what? So I like, let it go.

They swore to God. It happens. Blah, blah, blah. I let it go. I got back from it from the trip. And every Monday night I teach at a yoga studio that has one of those seedy massage parlors underneath, but I just go cause it's a $40 Asian, Asian massage. And like, it's great after working out and I go down into the massage parlor and it must be like the 50th time I've gone. I've gone so many times. It's just all business face down. You go in for 45 minutes, they massage out the knots and you're

out. Yes. But something was different to this day. I don't know what, I think it was because these girls opened up the portal in my head and heart to understand that it was a possibility. I, I legitimately never thought it was and all, he was just a little bit more handsy. He massaged the booty. His, his thumbs were a little bit more inner thigh. And the whole time I felt like it was a little more handsy, but I was okay with it. I was single and I was like, all right, get some. And then I roll over and we do the face up right where you're laying like this. Yeah. I've had many Ambianga style massages. So in the Asian Indian tradition, they like, they do massage your boobs and they even do your belly button hole, which is weird. It's like a,

it's an energy shifting massage. And so I didn't think anything of it as he moved a little bit lower down. And I was like, Hmm. Okay. And he said, is everything, is this okay? And I was like, yeah, this is okay. And he keeps going and going. I'm like, all right, this, you know, he's Chinese. Maybe this is part of it. And then he said, do you want to finish? And I was like, sure. 10 seconds. And I was happy ended. Okay. Now let me describe to you that this is something that if you had told me I was happy ended. Okay. Now let me describe to you that this is something that if you had told me I was going in for one, I w it would have happened. I'd been two in my head. I did not even know the week before was the first time I knew that this was possible. And I had gone to

this place over 50 times once this experience, it was like really quick. I didn't even think it was going to happen five seconds in. And it did 10 seconds in remember I was very single too. And he like, just kept going business as usual, kept did the feet and then out. So I get to the register and I say, I like, I was embarrassed. I'm like, do I tip more? What? I don't know what just happened, but I was like kind of excited. And he gave me a punch card and he said the eighth one's free. I was like, I immediately called those girls. I was like, it happened. I didn't, I didn't even know it was a thing. You had opened your aura. It opened the possibilities. And so the whole point of the intro is to share with you that like, Hey, if you don't, there's things in this world that you don't even know exist, like keep your heart open because you

never know what's going to drop in. It's a happy ending. I didn't ask for, but I got it in a different way. Right. And so that's our life. Oh my God. You're so my people. I love it. Oh my God. Shanna does not give happy endings. You want to know what you want to know? What's really funny, Katie, as you're telling the story, my mind's like, Oh, that sounds like a very professional, um, happy ending. Like he just real quick did his thing and then moved on to the feet like truly it was the quickest and also like if any boyfriend could ever replicate that i would be so grateful but it was just the perfect storm of like the anticipation it wait is this wait what

and then like your confusion did you get your ace one for free? No, I never went back. I'm embarrassed now. Would you let your boyfriend go there? I mean, I don't know. It's late night. It's late night place. But I legitimately, because I was a girl, I felt like I was safe. Yeah. It's so it's.

Let me be clear. Like I was okay with it. Right. This is totally yes but they did lose my business because now I'm like kind of embarrassed to go back oh my god I'm so excited to read your book if you get the book and you prefer audio because I'm an audio person I read you I read my audio book on audible so it's on audible too. If you want, was that hard for you? Cause did you like, want to laugh and chuckle? And it was so awkward and it was awkward. And then the chapter about

my mom's death, that was really, I had to do that in a couple of sittings because it's so, it's pretty detailed and it's just hard to, you don't want to always go back into the depths of those moments. Yeah. And were you, did you have any fear around like your father reading it or do you have siblings or people that you mentioned in it, like friends from childhood? So my dad, I sent my dad the manuscript before it went to print because I wanted him to read. I talk about him often, you know, Jim Burke's my hero. And so I want him to feel comfortable, but then like, also there's the happy ending stuff and like some of the sex stuff. So my dad is like, so I learned a lot about you. Some things I didn't want to know,

but the world's learning. And then the best part was when my new boyfriend, his 90 year old grandmother read it. And I was like, Oh, she's a librarian from Philadelphia. And she's like, Oh, I have to read your book. And I'm like, Oh, you're like, no, no, no, no, no, no. Shit. Well, who knows that she didn't go and have one too in 1940 or something. Okay. So I have to ask you, or my daughter would be really upset with me. How much Lulu do you own? Because, um, hello, your international Lulu, uh, model and ambassador. I mean, come on, we all know they have the most comfy fricking yoga pants in the whole world. And what was that experience like? They are a hundred percent like, okay. I was never a Lulu person. I'm wearing Lulu now,

but I was never a Lulu person because I was always like, I don't need to spend that much money on clothes, but in my profession, I'm constantly in, you know, I have a lot, a lot of clothes, but of Lulu, I should say, but it's because this company, I cannot speak highly enough of the company culture, the way they build their key leaders up, the people who work there for minimum wage and fold clothes and are on the floor, the way from the ground all the way to the top, they send them through personal development, um, landmark forum. They send them through mind training. Lululemon is out to make the world a better place, whether or not you work for Lululemon and like they would, they never advertise this. They give endlessly and don't talk about it. So even though the clothing is expensive, it is well-made, but they are, the company culture is

something that I will sing praises about to the day I die. They treat their people so well, and they want to make the world a better place. Human by human. Oh my God. That's so good to hear. So it doesn't make a person feel so bad when they're dropping $120. They also give it to any, if you can prove that you're a fitness instructor of any kind, they'll give you 25% off. Okay. So what was it like to be a model? So you went from, you know, your whole life wanting to look like a model, then finding yourself in this space where you valued your spirit as well. I have goosebumps thinking about what a defining moment it was for me when I got the call to be on the international Lululemon website. I was, you go lululemon.com. That was me. I literally, I got that call when I had Bell's palsy, my face was because they had gone through the book of

ambassadors and they picked my photo because you know, they didn't know. So I go to this shoot and I got the email when I was at a pretty low place. I was like, I'm not doing this. Are you kidding me? Like my face doesn't work. What am I? I have no value. And I just so happened to be walking down the street and there was this woman with a scarf, like a head scarf. She, it was obvious that she had some sort of cancer. And I was like, you know what, Katie life is not about my face. And this is a constant thing. Like you hear me say this a lot, but it's not like all of a sudden check. I had Bell's palsy. So today I'm not superficial. It's like, it's a constant practice of every time you wake up. But I saw this woman with the headscarf and I was like, listen, I need to redirect how I'm speaking to my body

right now, because I'm still, I can still do a extended side angle or a warrior two pose. I can still show up with whatever I have and be me. And so I get to the shoot and they had no idea I had Bell's palsy, but they didn't care. They were like, let's just roll with it. It was very, it was like, again, a very with it. It was very, it was like, again, a very Lulu thing. They didn't, it wasn't about my face, you know? Yeah. Okay. Katie, I got one last question for you. My daughter is a tad concerned because she's going off to college and she's going to live with a girl from Jersey and then a hunter from Illinois. She's like, oh shit. I don't know how this is going to go down.

What advice do you have for her living with a girl from Jersey? Listen, just be who you are and don't hold back because the worst thing you could do is show them your pansy and not know who you are because then they're going to tell you who they think you are. So Jersey.

When I moved out to California, that was the hardest hurdle for me going to California was because in California it's, everything's fine. It's a yes. A yes is a 75%. Yes. It's not a real yes. And also we'll talk about you behind your back, at least in Jersey. They just say it to your face. I swear I should have been born in Jersey. Well, Katie, be happy. You're amazing. Thank you so much for just being raw and authentic and putting your whole self out there. And this podcast has now come to a happy ending with you. Very satisfying. Yeah. You've been great. Thank you for just really breaking it down. And speaking of breaking it down at the end of every episode.

And now it's time for break that shit down. I know in my heart that love is courage, right? The Latin root of the word courage is core. So can we go courageously and live authentically so that people can love us for who we are and including us loving who we are, how they used the word was sharing it from your heart. That's awesome. And that's exactly what you do. Thank you so much. Yeah, it's beautiful. Your story is beautiful. You are beautiful. I really love you.

Tell everybody where they can find your book and where they can find all your goodness and your happiness. On Amazon, they can buy paperback or hardcover and then Audible, I read it. Or there's Kindle version too. A portion of the proceeds also goes to my 501c3. So I've started a nonprofit in

my mom's memory to help people rediscover power that wouldn't normally do it. So I run a free retreat for cancer survivors. They can apply on my website, beinspired.life. I also have two orphanages, one in Mexico and one in India that I visit every year and fund through that 501c3. So buying the book contributes to it and being a part of the app. 10% of that 10 bucks a month goes to 501c3 as well. So beinspired.life is the place to find retreats, the book, the app, all the good things. Oh my God. Wow, girl. So you take this abundance and gift it back. Isn't that what abundance is about? Huh? Yeah. Wow. You have a great Instagram. Can you be happy? Yeah. Like it's fine. I try my best to just be real. Like whether I'm, I'm having a fun tequila weekend or whether I'm

like every Monday I put out shit that I'm working on in myself for like a Monday mantra. I love that. So shout out your book's name one more time. Cheers to chaos. Eight tools for the puffy eyed and powerful. Love that. You've been wonderful. Thank you. I know our listeners are going to be inspired.

Yeah. Awesome. Well, thank you so much. And we will definitely be in touch. Thank you so much. Thanks for being with us today. We hope you will come back next week. If you like what you hear, don't forget to rate, like, and subscribe.

Thank you. We rise to lift you up. Thanks for listening.