Sense of Soul - Create More Flow, Abundance, Impact and Joy in 2024

Episode Date: January 1, 2024

Happy New Year! Today on Sense of Soul podcast we have Bodhi Aldridge, he is a transformational coach, facilitator and speaker, passionate about supporting men to experience true freedom and ignite their inherent magnificence. Trained by renowned leaders in traditional teachings and contemporary leadership development, he has spent the last 20 years supporting sustainable change in organisations and industries around the world as a Business Coach. Through the development of Presence, Bodhi empowers clients to connect with their Purpose and Passion and to experience true freedom, joy and impact, whilst more skillfully navigating the ups and downs of professional and personal life. Kind, honest and wise, he gently holds his clients with humour and love as they explore their inner world.  He is also a best-selling co-author of the book, ‘Visionary Male Leaders’. Bodhi has worked with executives from Netflix, Tesla, Google, Youtube, Amazon, and Goldmann Sachs. He lives with his wife of 40 years by the beach near Byron Bay Australia. They have 4 children and 10 grandchildren which keep them tapping into the pure joy and innocence that life can offer. Bodhi is gifting you listeners access to my Mini Course on '5 Steps to Freedom & Flow'. If you are...done with the resisting life and living with overwhelm, stress and fear; serious about breaking free from what's been holding you back - your limiting beliefs, your unconscious patterns and emotional triggers; and you're ready to change - to choose the life you desire....Begin this next year, with this fantastic Mini Course that will be a great first step into 2024! https://bodhialdridge.com/sense-of-soul/ Check out his website: https://bodhialdridge.com Follow on IG: @AldridgeBodhi Learn more about Sense of Soul Podcast: https://www.senseofsoulpodcast.com Check out the NEW affiliate deals! https://www.mysenseofsoul.com/sense-of-soul-affiliates-page   Follow Sense of Soul on Patreon, and join to get ad free episodes, circles, mini series and more! https://www.patreon.com/senseofsoul  

Hello, my soul-seeking friends. It's Shanna. Thank you so much for listening to Sense of Soul Podcast. Enlightening conversations with like-minded souls from around the world. Sharing their journey of finding their light within, turning pain into purpose, and awakening to their true sense of soul. If you like what you hear, show me some love and rate, like, and subscribe. And consider becoming a Sense of Soul Patreon member, where you will get ad-free episodes,

monthly circles, and much more. Now go grab your coffee, open your mind, heart, and soul. It's time to awaken. Hey listeners, happy new year. Before we get to our amazing guest, I wanted to thank all of my new Patreon members. I so appreciate you. And I'm also super excited to announce the winner of the holiday giveaway. And thank you so much to all who participated.

The lucky winner will get a free QHHT session with the amazing Jennifer Mitchell from the Soul Travelers podcast. And the winner is Lindsay Harper. Congratulations. I can't wait to connect you with Jennifer Mitchell for you to book your session. You can also find Jennifer at senseofsoul.com under the Network of Lightworkers. She is one of my affiliates. I also would like to send love and gratitude to Jennifer for giving this priceless gift. Lindsay, you are in for an amazing experience.

And today's episode is a great one to begin our new year. Joining me from Australia, I have Bodhi Aldridge. He is a transformational coach, facilitator, and speaker. He has spent the last 20 years supporting sustainable change in organizations and industries around the world as a business coach. Through the development of Pres presence, Bodhi empowers his clients to connect with their purpose and passion and experience true freedom, joy, and impact while more skillfully navigating the ups and downs of their professional and personal life. He's the best-selling co-author of the book Visionary Male Leaders and has worked with executives from Netflix, Tesla, Google, Amazon, YouTube, just to name a few. He is also the host of the True Freedom podcast, where he has topics that include beliefs, relationships, parenting, money, and leadership. And he's also offering Sense of Soul listeners a free mini course, Five Steps to Freedom and Flow, which you can find the link in the show notes.

What a great way to start off 2024. So please welcome Bodie Aldridge. How are you? I'm well. How are you? I'm doing well. Nice to meet you. Yeah, absolutely. Thanks for doing a 5 p.m session for us Australians no problem I'm actually I was almost late because I was my oh we have the most gorgeous sunset right now oh my gosh it's like unbelievable where are you based I'm in colorado oh beautiful you get the big skies too don't you yes and so

the sun sets behind the mountains you know the rocky mountains so it's just it's gorgeous yeah yeah yeah so what part of australia are you in so i'm on the east coast so byron bay and so we're kind of three quarters of the way up from Sydney nice I've never been but I sure would like to oh yeah it's some beautiful culture and you know similarities to the US and the beaches at the end of the street I surf every morning you know oh wow that sort of lifestyle you know it's like it's pretty nice that's pretty amazing yeah i talked to someone earlier in in ireland yeah i'm always like living vicariously through all my guests and so i love it that's right and you've had some amazing guests shana you've like such diversity on your program

yeah i know i'm so lucky i mean, can you imagine I'm like a student to amazing people like you, right? And just every like this week, it's a lot of people. But you know, usually at least two, three times a week. Yeah, beginning my week with two amazing people. And then I end my week again with Neilald walsh who wants to come on again i just had him on and so yeah it's pretty neat i feel very blessed you know i had a client years ago so i also do reiki and i've been a massage therapist and i i worked with her the whole way through her pregnancy and you know i would do reiki on her and you know i could tell that there was two souls that I was working with. You could tell the different energy.

And she has her baby and she named her baby Bodhi. Oh, wow. Of course. And guess when the baby was born on the day of that eclipse that we had. Yeah. Yeah. It was that day. That day. Wow. Yeah. of that eclipse that we had yeah yeah it was that day that day wow yeah so then she brings the baby

over because i had crocheted the baby a blanket and i felt immediately connected because it was like we already knew each other we already shared space and energy it was so cool oh i love that though isn't it and their children the newborns just coming through with that beautiful essence and pure essence yeah they're just coming through going okay guys get out of the way we got it sorted just get out of the way will you i'd be curious to know how you see the future generations i've worked with a lot of them and they don't fit in that box. And so, you know, I think they're a little misunderstood. And I think what they need the most is the support from their elders. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. It's a great question. And, you know, this question

comes up at times when I work in the leadership space, you know, because in organisations there's this tension between the different generations. You know, I have four adult children, I have 10 grandchildren and my wife and I have been together over 40 years. And I talk about this in leadership, I talk about it in parenting. The two things, to be an effective leader and leadership essentially just means influence you know we're all leaders yeah like there's formal leadership and informal leadership in an

organization everyone's influencing the system yeah and so that's just a simple definition of leadership and to me the two keys to leadership the two keys that people are looking for is connection and direction that's all we want and generationally it's the same it doesn't matter what generation they are when i teach leaders of my generation the baby boomers yeah you know instead of projecting your view of the world onto it how do i connect with this being that's the key as you mentioned whether it's these beautiful children coming through i've got seven granddaughters who are just angelic just incredible beings just dancing pixies of love and light and And so the connection is, and as you know,

connection starts with connecting with self, your authentic self, not your distorted self, you know, not your egoic self. And then direction, you know, relationships are really, really, really simple. You know, communicate your expectations and have them met. You know, the challenge is our expectations are moving all the time. Communicate your expectations and have them met. Yeah. The challenge is our expectations are moving all the time. Yeah.

It's like on the wedding day, you know, you say to your partner, here are my expectations for the next 40 years. Please meet them. It kind of doesn't work that way. Right. And so with connection and clarity of expectation, genuine clarity of expectation, then I feel generationally it's the same desires that we're all human beings.

We're all looking for that sense of connection, that sense of safety, that sense of autonomy, the masculine, feminine. Interesting with connection and direction, that sense of autonomy the masculine feminine interesting with connection and direction that's actually the masculine and feminine currents so the feminine energy in us is driven by connection driven by love yeah and the masculine energy is driven by direction by agency autonomy yeah accountability and again you know in the workplace if you can cultivate this as a leader in your organization

as parents in our schools you know you can imagine the possibility shana if we could encourage that because the feminine current is yeah it's all about connection yeah and it's all you know the analogy is it's like the feminine energy in the universe in the planet and in us is everything that flows everything that moves so it's like the ocean yeah the ocean can be wild one day it can be calm can be stormy yeah like run by the moon yeah and the driver is always connection connection connection where's the connection can i feel the connection and love connection and love and to find that balance is probably what makes a successful leader yeah that's it the masculine energy yet is the the energy that can present its driver is freedom but to give you the example it's like the river is the feminine and the riverbanks is our masculine. And so if you can cultivate that, yeah, and that's flow states.

You know, I work a lot with clients around presence and flow. You've got to have scaffolding. You've got to have riverbanks, a level of riverbank. Yeah, but you've also got to have a level of river. Right now, for me, when I think about leader, I feel like that we don't have strong, conscious leaders in the world. They are way too masculine or old. Yeah, the dinosaurs.

The distorted masculine. Yeah, exactly. But it's unfortunate because I think that any business, right, you have to have, you know, strong leaders of your household and they need to be involved and aware of what's going on. And if they're oblivious, then you have instability. Yep. Or if you even have an imbalance, like you were just saying, there might be instability. Yeah.

I mean, there's so much going on. And just to come back to that point, so the three aspects of leadership that I talk about, again, whether you're running your own business, whether you're a CEO of a multinational or whether you're a parent, it's self-leadership, relational leadership and systemic leadership. Yeah. Because you have to understand yourself, as we know,

as your teachings, all of your guests. It starts with self, leadership of self. Yeah. And then how do I show up relationally? You know, we're all in relationships, whatever the context, work relationship, intimate relationship, you know, we're all in relationships, whatever the context, work relationship, intimate relationship, parenting relationship, relational leadership is a unique skill. And then systemically, yet, how do I how do I become aware of the system? So whether it's my family unit,

as you say, whether it's a 5000 staff business, whether it's a sporting team. Yeah. And, you know, there's lots of studies around this, the awareness. It does come back to connection and direction. And I think in the bigger picture, as you say, what I'm observing, travelling globally, working with leaders globally, is we are in the middle of a great change. Yeah.

And, you know, I think COVID, you know, they talk about, you know, the great resignation. I think COVID was the great invitation. Yeah. It was the invitation for all of us to really start living purpose-centred lives, to really, yeah, have that pause, reflection, get a sense of it. And, you know, we don't see it in the press, but when I travel globally there's so many exciting planet-first

businesses coming up, people-first businesses. The fastest business growth in the US is actually young women, like yourself, building your business. Like it's an incredible surge of young women who are running and building their businesses. The divine feminine is rising. Exactly. It is. It really is, you know. incredible surge of young women who are running and building their businesses so the divine feminine is rising exactly it is it really is you know and part of my passion is to support the men yeah to own their defined divine masculine and feminine because for the feminine to rise

particularly in women it's got to be held by the masculine. The feminine creates the space, the masculine can hold it. So men are trying to connect with their feminine, I'm trying to connect with my feminine. Yeah. Because I've been living so masculine for so long. Yeah. Yeah, one of the workshops I do, when I work with women leaders, which isn't often, the feedback I constantly get is that we've lost touch

with our feminine. To survive in business, to survive in corporate, we've had to become more masculine. And the interesting thing, Shana, is, and I take people through it in the workshop, is that fundamentally, and I'm going to talk in generalisations here, so please, for the listeners know there are always nuances there are always genres sub genres yeah but as a generalization in my experience and certainly what i what the studies show the neuroscience shows is

that the masculine and feminine is in both genders yet most women are predominantly in their feminine essence as a generalization what happens is when you can cultivate and sit in your feminine essence you can then access masculine and feminine traits this is the yin and the yang yeah so if you know how to hold your feminine essence, it doesn't mean you can't think linearly. It doesn't mean you can't have structure. It doesn't mean you don't have action, agency, yeah? But you don't lose your feminine essence.

And that's what's happened is because we haven't been taught how to stay in our predominant essence, we think actioning these masculine traits means i've got to lose my feminine essence and become more masculine and the vice versa for men who are predominantly in their masculine you know we see like a warrior goddess as masculine it's like why why can't she be a warrior goddess in her feminine yeah why can't that be part of the feminine so i think a lot of it's conditioned of what we what we see as you know masculine feminine yeah yeah it's a lack of awareness i mean you look at a lioness

defending her cubs yeah she's in she's in her warrior but she's still the mother you know don't cross a mother yeah getting away with her baby mama bear exactly exactly it's true exactly exactly the feminine mother instinct that accesses that warrior that accesses that action that accesses that agency needed to defend and i would say vice versa when it comes to you know you always hear women are intuitive women are so intuitive why can't a man why can't there be a masculine then too right exactly a father not have an instinct of of being connected in that way that's kind of unfair almost in some way yeah exactly i mean for the masculine again you know to your point earlier all we've seen is the distorted masculine you know the patriarchy is the distorted masculine if you think about the masculine and

feminine there's the healthy and unhealthy like anything these are just currents of energy so we've got this model of the unhealthy or distorted masculine, but the healthy masculine has integrated his feminine. So absolutely nurturing and caring and connection and community, collaboration, you know, and this is what we need more of in the workplace. In leadership, the feminine sits in circle. Everybody talks.

Everybody collaborates. It's wired into us. But in the distorted masculine, it's all linear. It's all very, very strategic. A lot of the men's work, which has been amazing for the last over 30 years, particularly in the US and Australia, have really allowed some men to connect more with their warrior energy. But there are certain initiations that men need into their feminine.

And again, that's part of the work I do because if a man doesn't know how to initiate, stay in his masculine presence and essence, but initiate into the feminine aspects of his journey, then again, it's not a full experience. Wow. You know, I've been studying the Gnostic Gospels over the past few years. And in that connecting with Sophia, which, you know, is great for wisdom, right? It's been a huge part of my journey. I'm even writing a book about it, you know, because it was so impactful. It was profound for me to connect with that as I'm moving into my crone, which if you look up what a crone is, it says old hag. But to me, it's moving into my wisdom. You see, I've even got the gray hair.

I'm letting my gray hair grow and embracing that wisdom. And'm not mad anymore but i went through this period where i was angry as i was like wow they seems to me intentionally buried and suppressed the feminine energy you know um in all areas not just in religion but in society and all of it. And I feel like it is the divine feminine's time to rise. And I think that when men can be supportive of that and hold that space, like you were saying, there's so much success around that. I feel like it's almost the answer to what is wrong with this world right now. There's too much masculine. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, and again, it's that distorted masculine. Because, again, we haven't been taught, our little boys haven't been taught. And, again, in the US there's a big movement now to teach men how to be men. And I agree. I think the integration in us, if you think about the stages of the collective movement, so if you think about the agricultural revolution, the industrial revolution, particularly when it comes to societies and organisations, then you think about the information

revolution, you know, Google and Facebook. We're now moving into the consciousness. All in our lifetime. Exactly. Well, we're now moving into the consciousness revolution. Amen. Or a woman.

Yeah, exactly, exactly. The biggest asset in organisations is the consciousness and awareness of their people. That's going to be the gift in the next, you know, 70 to 100 years. If you can cultivate that in yourself as a leader and in your organisation, integrating the divine feminine and masculine, creating different structures and systems, bringing that conscious awareness, yeah, and that presence,

that's going to accelerate the change. That connection, exactly. Connection. I think that's where I'm on the cusp of. We're moving from Facebook and Google into consciousness. It's true. Yeah, I hope so. You know what I found interesting is that even in podcasting,

I have a huge, huge want for video. They want more connection. They want to see you they would they mean they can connect more i'm a visual person if someone has an option to watch or listen i used to only listen before because i was so busy so i would clean or do whatever while i was listening now i mean i do i want to see you i want to see see your face, your emotions, your expression. It is, isn't it? Back to that connection, that community, that collaborate,

all the feminine. And the neuroscience is really clear, Shana. You know, anyone listening who's going, what's this about? The neuroscience, there's been the university of Detroit did a huge study, you know, 50,000 people, and they were able to see the different neuroscience around the way again this isn't gender-based the way our feminine brain works which is all about complexity connection community collaboration our masculine wiring is all about agency accountability yet autonomy and so again it's it's exactly it's the river and the riverbank yeah we've got it

we've got to have both, you know. Let me ask you about this. I talked about this with someone else not too long ago, and I've been kind of sitting with it since passion, like the passion behind whatever you're doing, you know. I feel like there was someone I had on my podcast and, and I wasn't even sure that I bought into everything, you know, that this guest was saying, but the passion behind it,

it lit me up because she was lit up. Yeah. It touched my soul, that passion, whether I agreed with her or not. That passion was, it was like electrifying. But I'm so attracted to her passion. And I think that that is something that most people, if they want to be successful in what they're doing, they have to be passionate about it. Like you can't just pick something. It doesn't work. I could never be passionate about math. I could tell you that much. Yeah. It's a great question. Yeah. And when I work with the men, the three legs of the stool for the masculine, it's presence, it's purpose and it's passion.

Yeah. But it's passion for life. The passion is cultivated internally. Yeah. And so, you know, a lot of people, you know, do what do what brings you joy yeah i'm like bring joy to what you do yeah bring passion to what you do now obviously if you follow the energy follow your intuition you know you're not going to stay in a relationship that's unhealthy or in a job where you're being bullied or ostracized yet a lot of

people leave the external looking for the answer instead of cultivating an intern when you're changing the diapers sometimes you're not that passionate as a mother but you can either resist it or you embrace it and go this is just part of the gig and we know when people are passionate it's an internal and the practices i teach which are based on traditional culture are absolutely about tapping into your passion energetically tapping into your purpose energetic all traditional cultures knew this they knew that your vibration yet remember it's the law of resonance so what you're resonating with that lady is for passion even though her story or her content may not be relevant you can be curious but you can connect

again it comes back to that connection it's so true i mean i might not even hear her words, but you're right. That resonance is so full of authentic passion. Yeah, exactly. Like very passionate about my ancestry. And so when that starts to come up, there's no searching for words or what I'm going to say or how I'm going to approach things. It's just like it's something internally that is expressing itself through me. Exactly. So imagine bringing that to the whole of your life. Imagine bringing that to your children, to your husband, to your podcast, to your grocery shopping, to your traffic. I think I do.

My kids are sick of hearing about sofia yeah yeah the goddess sofia it's a feminine essence of god it's the wisdom of god or the feminine energy of god it's not necessarily a male or it's an energy it's an energy of a feminine yep and i have i am a creatrix this is what i do you know and the more i embrace that part of me the more my passion burns in me that you're teaching them like the masculine to be in touch with what is natural within them but still holding the space also for the feminine? Yep. Yeah, absolutely. Because, again, as a generalization, most men are more in their masculine essence. Right.

Okay. That's their essence. And, you know, if you wanted to, you could describe it in a heteronormal relationship. It might be the sexual attraction, the polarity. Remember the polarity in the universe, the masculine and feminine energy, whatever you want to call it. And so for men who are predominantly in their masculine essence, it's how do I access the masculine and feminine traits. And one of the keys, you know, one of the most attractive things to the feminine is a man who can be present, who can presence the feminine.

If the feminine can just be seen. Oh, it's so annoying when they're not. Yeah, exactly. Like, do you not hear anything I just said? Yeah. It's so true. It's one of the foundational things I teach the guys, you know, because and a lot of the foundational things i teach the guys you know because and a lot of the wives are now sending the guys it's like just go and learn how to be present

even just for 30 minutes i have adhd yep you know something that i mean i did cognitive therapy which all these things are very helpful for anybody but i didn't even know what presence was i had to use tools so one of the tools i would use would be i would look at someone's lips when they talked so that i could focus on what they were saying in their words and then i'd be looking at their lips and i'd be like damn you need some chapstick the whole adhd kicks in it was difficult for me but i always tell my kids if you want me to hear you make sure that we have eyes yeah you know and again you know the feminine is all about complexity

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Go to her website, herpspace.org. That's H-A-R-P-S-P-A-C-E dot O-R-G. And make sure to tell Nicole that you found her from Sense of Soul Podcast. You can also go to www.senseofsoulpodcast.com under the Network of Lightworkers. You can find these links in the show notes. Now back to our amazing guest. The challenge for the feminine. So the feminine, when the feminine walks into the room,

into a room, a house, children or a business, the driver of the feminine connects with everything and very linear and singular. One of the things when I work with couples is that the challenge for the feminine is often the biggest feedback I get is like the guy comes home and goes, I dropped the kids at school. I did a great job. Yeah.

Thinking that. And the feminine's like, yeah, but who packed the lunch? Who knew they had music class? Who knew they had a nut allergy? The feminine is holding it all. And so what I teach the men is you've got to be able to connect with it all. And the biggest thing with the feminine, my wife often says she works with women in business is you have a to do list and a to don't list. Oh, yeah, just because you connect with everything doesn't mean you have to do it all.

Oh, that's so true. Just because you can do it doesn't mean you should be doing it. Exactly. Exactly. It reminds me of grocery shopping. So when my partner goes grocery shopping, he goes in, he gets that shit and gets out. Me, when I get home, he's like, where the hell have you been? It's been two hours. And I was like, I ran into this person and that person. And I went down that aisle and then I go back down that aisle over there and then I thought of something else I had to get and I saw the neighbor and then you know and then I got a coffee and you know I'm just like exactly it's connection connection the

feminine's looking for connection where's the connection oh here it is here it is here it is yeah the masculine is looking for outcome looking for the goal looking for connection. Where's the connection? Oh, here it is. Here it is. Here it is. The masculine is looking for outcome, looking for the goal, looking for the achievement. I talk about man shopping. One of the biggest challenges for men is to buy a beautiful gift for their partner. Oh, yeah. Yeah, but you can't buy it when you're in your masculine. You've got to buy it from your feminine. You've got to go and explore. You've got to be curious. You've got to open your heart. Yeah, it takes forever. You've got to go and explore you've got to be curious you've got to open your heart yeah it takes forever you've got to put a couple of hours aside and just wander through a beautiful crystal shop or a beautiful you know home shop and you've got to feel the connection yeah that's how you create a gift card exactly exactly or you know the petrol station

the last the flowers from the and the chocolate the truck stop exactly to your point though guys think i just got to go in here and buy a present for my wife and it's like shopping it's like going to the groceries yeah i just and it just it's such a tension for the guys and it always falls flat yeah because they haven't connected with the context what is this actually about and so such simple things can make such a difference as you know in relationship you know another thing is i think of when we're shopping he walks so damn fast i mean i know i'm shorter than him and my legs are shorter, but I'm like, holy crap. I mean, like, I'd have to jog.

Yes. And again, you know, coming back to expectations in relationship, it's really been clear. Sometimes with my wife and I'm like, I'm just going to do a man shop. Yeah. I've just got to go and do a man shop. I'm just going to get some things. Yeah. And sometimes it's like, okay, let's go shopping together.

And I've just got to go into my feminine and get present and do my best to i'm just going to get some things yeah and sometimes it's like okay let's go shopping together and i've just got to go into my feminine get present and do my best to stay connected and flow you know i felt the opposite i'm like i gotta get in my masculine is putting on my running shoes and yeah no but it is true though it's so important to be able to understand and empathize right with the people in your life, whether it's business, you know, your coworkers, you know, your children, partner, family. Well, you mentioned passion before. The link to passion is compassion. Yeah.

And that's the deeper place. And if you can bring the three Cs to bring to relationship, to leadership, again, coming back, firstly is connection, secondly is compassion, and the third is curiosity. Just be curious. You know what I mean? Like we so disconnect, yeah, block our hearts and want to be, you know, right or judgmental, you know, which we all do yet again if you can

cultivate that connection and presence with yourself and just be compassionate who knows this person's journey who knows what their day's been like you know and from there just be curious because every decision they're making is something some filter in their mind it's fascinating as a leader to be curious and go that's really interesting the way you did that tell me more right i was going to say curiosity reminds me of a lot of people get stuck in life they get stuck you know either stuck in relationships or stuck i can't move up into this next level people get stuck if you think about purpose the key with purpose is to live a life of inquiry and that's a life of curiosity a life of questioning a life of reflection a life of

contemplation yeah and so you know because our purpose our deepest purpose reveals itself you know very few people wake up and go this is my purpose and inquiring about yourself and so the thing about being stuck is um being curious with what what's going on for me yeah what's going on for me here you know that that willingness to be reflective to be contemplative yeah getting to know yourself you know and is, as you say, curiosity. It's a level of just being curious. What's going on? Like am I stuck in my head?

Am I overanalyzing? Like am I thinking myself too much or am I too scared to make the next move, my comfort zone, my fear? Yes. Yeah. Is it that I need to know before I make a move? And, again, as you know, coming back to self-leadership, knowing yourself, time, reflecting with yourself is, you know,

it's the anchor to all of this. Well, and it seems like the base of all what you were saying, you know, what might hold people back is fear. Yeah. So overcoming, you know, the fear and taking risks yeah it's a great i mean i've recently launched my own podcast called true freedom and um it's because that's the deepest desire for the masculine um and and as young men we think freedom is outside of us it's about climbing a mountain it's about going to india it's about going on a surf trip and on the hero's journey we get to the point where we realize that freedom lives within us the holy

grail is within us and to experience freedom you have to lean into your fear yeah and as you know there's instinctive fear and there's psychological fear so instinctive fear is if the shark's in the ocean and I'm surfing, I'm probably going to get out. Yeah, it's probably good to, you know, use my instincts. If the saber-toothed tiger is coming for me, yeah, it's good to have that level of fear. Psychological fear, yeah, this overthinking mind, yeah, and fear, as you know, F-E-A-R stands for false expectations appearing real.

Ooh. Yeah. So our thinking mind projects into the future about everything that's going to happen, all of these false expectations. I have to write that one down. I like that. Yeah, yeah. False expectations appearing real. false expectations i have to write that one down i like that yeah yeah false expectations appearing real and so we project into the future all of these thought patterns all of these

constructs we then create an emotion of fear yeah and think it's true we think all of this is going to happen all this you know worrying about something that hasn't even happened there's a lot of that going on in the world absolutely theory a lot of paranoid you know you're paranoid about conspiracy this me me too sometimes yeah yeah exactly particularly our thinking mind we have 80,000 thoughts a day most of them are negative our thinking mind yeah our thinking mind is in overload again that's why getting present the thinking mind is like a really fast train that's just been conditioned and conditioned in our western world and if you want to stop a fast train you don't jump in front of it you just

slow it down you gotta slow it down reflection contemplation, meditation, prayer, exercise, all those things, and start to slow it down. I keep feeling this connection to impermanence with you. You talked about letting go. You talked about change and transformation. And for me, impermanence was one of the biggest lessons ever the only thing that's certain is change yeah and if you think about the creative energy that holds this universe together whatever you label it it's constantly expanding and changing we are part of that fundamentally spirituality yeah is the willingness to let go

of the illusion of separateness. Yeah. However you define that, it's like taking a breath in and going, that's my oxygen. It's like, hang on a tick, there's the big breath and there's your experience of that, yeah. And so if you accept that this creative energy is constantly expanding, constantly moving, yeah, again, it's the feminine flow,

the feminine movement, and that somehow we are connected to that, yeah, and we know the scientists meet the spiritualists. They just went around different roads, yeah, and they come into the quantum field. They come into the oneness, whatever you want to call it. And so if you spoke to a scientist, they would say everything is moving. Energy has to move in permanence. If you spoke to a Buddhist, it's all about letting go of attachment in permanence.

And it's a beautiful reflection back. I believe that everything is moving and shifting all of the time. Going back to your question about being stuck, one of the big journeys is attachment. To give you a little example, you've got a pen in your hand, Shana. And any of our listeners, you know, pick a pen or an object. I want you to really hold that pen as tight as you can tight tight tight really squeeze it yep really hold on this is so important this is the pen yep what does that feel like so much

tension all the way up to my neck yeah exactly now i'd like you to loosen your grip on the pen until you're really just lightly touching it. What does that feel like? Relaxing. Even my breath slows down. Yeah. And that's the difference between attachment and detachment, between resistance and flow. Every day there are two trains that leave your house.

One is the resistance train. One is the flow train. You get to choose, yeah? You can resist life, you can squeeze hard on life, you can control things. Remember, when we look at the world, there's only two things we ever see, the way we want it to be or the way we think it should be. And as soon as you go down there, you're in resistance, you're you're in judgment you're in control you're holding that band really high but if you can hold life a little

bit more lightly it's not being disrespectful or abdicating your responsibilities but get in the flow the flow is just presence expressed you're just holding it lightly flow is always moving the water has to move it has to find the ocean yeah it'll move around the rock and i love how nature teaches us this you know i was saying you know we've got beautiful sunset i was also outside and grateful that the kid down the street came and took all my leaves out of my yard beautiful 60 bucks worth but you know i mean the tree cannot hold on to its leaves you know it can't exactly and even in business people have to realize there are times fallow times you know there are times when it needs to regenerate regroup which is why being present is so important,

because the only moment that is sure is this one right here. Yeah, exactly. And that's the, you know, it's the paradox between the being and the doing, you know, like, again, which a lot of your guests have shared. The being is our vertical dimension, you know, it's our harek line, it's our shishumni. You cultivate the being while you're doing, yeah.

So how can I be present while I'm changing the diaper, while I'm doing the podcast? I told you I have ADHD. I'm a half-assed multitasker, I can tell you that much. Yeah, yeah. I would like to ask you for some advice because I am trying to multitask and finishing my book. You know, when someone's like me, who has ADHD, who's very busy, spreading myself thin everywhere, but I really want to get my book finished. Yeah.

You know, what advice do you have to complete a task that's important? What's the fear of slowing down for you? Like making the space for it? Yeah, just being more present with whatever task is there instead of rushing ahead. That other things will fall. Right. Is that true or is it a fear?

Well, I mean, I do do everything by myself when it comes to podcasting. So, like, if I don't finish an episode and edit it and all that and get it out, yeah. I've never not put out an episode in four years, twice a week, never. And what does receiving and support mean to you? Got me. got me. Yeah. And receptivity, which is a divine feminine quality, is also very distorted in the feminine.

What is the resistance to receiving, to saying I accept you? Yeah, it's generational. It's definitely conditioned. This is the worst part for me you really honed in on my weakness a strength and just feel it in your body just notice that yeah just just that's the acknowledgement piece like instead of solving it resisting it just feel it feel that like it's such a big heart channel you have such a giving heart yet it's i can feel it it's almost that it's almost that just to like in a

good way to surrender to support you know what i mean it's like there's such a tension there for you that it'll all fall it'll all fall apart or it's a weakness or people won't do it the way i do it or you know whatever the story yeah you got me right there too yeah and can you see you know yeah it's that surrender and one of the most beautiful things to offer somebody, if they're willing to give, is to receive. Yes. This has always been my thing. This is my hiccup. You know, I'm a damn Taurus.

Yeah, me too. I'm stubborn. And full of bull. But just that place you were reflecting, the feeling, obviously ancestral. It's a deep fear there and there's a story there. Yeah, and I think at some level all of these constructs are our limited ego, our identity, our sense of self.

This is Shana. This is how Shana is in the world. This is how people perceive shana yeah and i also think that i grew up admiring the martyr and i thought that was beautiful beautiful yeah yeah yeah and as you know when you're on the airplane and the oxygen mask comes down you know what do they say and i probably wouldn't no you probably wouldn't it's like here i am as my wife says the burning martyr right till the end yes it's okay it's only a flesh so um to answer your question you can get a sense of what might be holding you back from completing a task. But the key to anything, so firstly, the biggest asset we have in life is our attention.

Where your attention goes, energy flows. And I know with ADHD it's tricky because you're scooting around and the more, you know, and there's some incredible work out there now, coaching work, neuroscience around ADHD, because we know all of the traditional teachings, all of the science tells us where your attention goes, energy flows. Whatever you want to manifest in your life, it's where am I putting my attention?

So true. Yeah. The second key, and I work a lot with men on this, is commitment and the commitment paradox. True freedom only lives through true commitment. The third step, so we've got our attention, we've got our commitment, and then it's staying in the fly. Okay.

And so absolutely it's important to set a goal a vision a timeline yeah but hold it lightly yeah because you just don't know what's going to reveal itself it could be that the last two chapters of this book didn't get written because you needed to have another experience that was going to make this book a bestseller. Do you know what I mean? I think that has happened, yes. Yeah, there you go, exactly. You know, when we force it against a timeline, again,

depending on the context, you know, we obviously want to set the intention and, you know, complete, yet notice, again, notice resistance or flow, resistance resistance or flow if you keep meeting resistance yeah there could be again go back to the inquiry that reflection i also think back to something you said is how you're teaching people to go within to connect with that and and i and i really have been when i did when i stopped stopped worrying about it so much and I made space and I was present with it, what I received was you already have enough for one book. You even probably have enough for two books. So maybe this isn't one book. Maybe this is a series.

And maybe you need to stop worrying about finding the end game because the information is going to constantly flow because you're in this. So finish what you have already. It's done. There it is. That's what I received inward. That's the inward. That's the intuition.

That's the guidance. Follow the guidance. Follow the flow. That feels authentic to me. How does that feel to you? It does feel. It feels right to me too. And I think that I need to get off of the idea.

I need to let go. I need to let go of the tree. Yeah, yep. Let go of the idea that it's going to just be the one and done. And then I need to open myself up with that this is evolving and that's why it's not done because I'm still going through all of it but I have I definitely have enough for two books already absolutely I mean every every episode you're learning and growing and um so tell me this just to just to give you so if you want to just check in to

yourself the difference between commitment and sitting on the fence so if you just close your eyes and just come into your body and just notice what it feels like when you've committed to something you've made a decision that this is it yeah notice what it feels like in your body in your mind in your heart what does that feel like when you've done that this is a good one it feels nice it feels complete it feels whole i feel relaxed and then even the thought of being on the fence there's no stability there you know there's no balance there's this uncertainty am i gonna fall am i gonna catch myself yeah yeah that's it and and yeah but can you feel the energetic difference oh yeah oh yeah that's it that's what we want to

feel the energy of almost i would just call it energy on my chest, but like anxiety rising up to even have thought to be on the fence. Yes, exactly. And that's where most, there's no freedom on the fence. It's like I'm in, I'm not in. It's like it's tense. It's like a lot of people live their life on the fence. And it's exhausting.

Yeah, commit. Yeah. Commit. Yeah. Even if you don't want to do it, then don't either way. Yeah. Yeah. Just commit to it. Exactly.

Exactly. I asked a friend who also has ADHD, who I met through the podcast. She's a listener to hold me accountable like every week. And so she messaged, she's never not messaged me since the day I asked her. And it's probably been six months. Every single Sunday, she's like, or Saturday, it's accountability day, buddy. And sometimes I just want to like give her the finger. Thanks for reminding me how I didn't do anything. That's right.

She was committed to help me. Yeah, exactly. Which is so beautiful. It is. It is, you know, and that's the beauty of it. And, yeah, it's that. Oh, yeah. Someone once told me that, too.

If you're going to ask somebody for help and they help you and you don't take it, like that's the worst. You know, when you have someone, see, I have an issue with this. Yeah, yeah. So receiving help, what you were saying earlier. Yeah, yeah. Well, the way to explore it is, again, you started to do a little, what's the story you tell yourself?

Yeah. You know what I mean? Like there's a whole story. The subconscious mind, yeah, 90% of your operating system, as you know, is your subconscious mind. Right. And you've got all this story and all these beliefs around who I am in the world, who I am, generational line of women, the martyr, you know.

I can see myself just buried. Do you need help? No, I'm good. Yeah, me too. God. It's like the last person standing and it's like, you know. Oh, my God. It's terrible.

The interesting thing, if we just circle back, is just commit. Because how can you be a leader if you don't have people supporting you? Exactly. Exactly. How can you leverage all of your magnificence, you know, doing it all on your own, the one person doing it all? I mean, seriously. Yeah.

That's crazy. I feel like you've been divinely put tonight in my life to help me see this about me. So thank you for using those questions and helping me, you know, do this inquiry into, you know, what might be holding me back because logically, like I said, how can you be a leader without a support system beneath you? What are you leading?

Yeah, thank you, Shanna. It's so true and and that demonstration of loving yourself like truly loving yourself by allowing you know receptivity and support is such a demonstration for your listeners for your community for your children like that you know that willingness to receive love and support. Yes, it's so true. Because I will never be free until I am free from that. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And it's my own imprisonment.

Yeah, yeah, I know. That's's it it's a great awareness as well that's where we get stuck you know one of the biggest places where we resist and limit freedom is our thought patterns our constructs our belief systems instead of the willingness to let that go so oh beautiful beautiful yeah it feels like it feels like we'll have to do uh uh session two at some point see how you're going a couple months time yeah the book done and i've got all kinds of people helping me to get to where i'm supposed to be yeah yes that would be cool that would be cool that would be cool if it happens i'm definitely gonna call you and you know it's no wonder why people go around with tension in their bodies you know being on the fence or holding on too tight

you know our body is definitely reacting to all of what's going on yeah and for all the listeners you know if you want to know what you're committed to just watch your behavior that's that's just giving you information you know successful people whatever that means entrepreneurs startups a lot of the guests you've had yeah they're just committed to their vision yeah they just they've just made that decision now the road can be rocky it's windy it's not linear but they wake up each day committed to that vision to being the best version of themselves whatever that is that's the gig and that if you bring passion to that to your point oh yeah like you know yeah exactly you bring presence passion to that commitment it's like whoa look out whatever you I mean, I wish that you were here in America.

I would definitely vote for president. That's right. The new leadership. Here we go. We need someone like you desperately. We certainly need more leaders. There is a consciousness rising as i mentioned and you're part of it i'm part of it our children are part of it you know and the more of these conversations

and the more people in business that embrace this consciousness the more exciting it will be for sure well you know i was listening to some of your testimonies on your website, these people were very heartfelt, authentic, and I was glad that I listened to them. I mean, they're very successful people who I can tell you've made a huge difference in their lives. I mean, you've made a difference in my life in just an hour. So thank you so much. And I find it just even more generous that you also are offering our listeners a mini

course for five steps to freedom and flow. Tell me about that. Yeah, yeah. It's a course I put together. It's on the website. I think the link's there in the show notes. And yeah, what I found is so many people want to explore this work. Yeah.

And as you know, it's how do I access it? And so it's just a little mini course on some of the things we've touched on today. So I encourage the listeners to download. It's free. And just that real, again, you know, it's our inherent state. Freedom is our natural state. Freedom and flow, you know, the river and the riverbanks, you know.

So, yeah, please enjoy it. The listeners enjoy it. Love to hear feedback. The website's there, bodhialdridge.com. Yeah, I'm excited about this work and I'm also excited about your journey now. Me too. You know, I feel like there's so many things I have overcome, but, you know, you're forever growing. And I think if you're not, then you know, you're forever growing. And I think if

you're not that you're dead. Yeah. Well, that's a beautiful saying, you know, what's blocking you isn't in the way. It is the way. Oh, yes. Lean into that. Yes. I love when I connect with men that listen to my podcast. I actually have one man. I'm sure he'll listen. He's a listener. And he just recently got laid off. I was very worried about what he was going to do. And whatever he did, he wanted it to be not something that he settled for, you know?

Absolutely. for you know absolutely the thing the hero's journey is essentially for the masculine again going back to fear at the edge of our comfort zone yeah we meet this place called fear yeah these false expectations appearing real and and the key for the masculine is to lean into the edge, lean into the fear. The opposite of courage is conformity. And so many men are conforming to a life less lived, that's not full of passion, that's not full of presence. And it's not about leaving your job, leaving your marriage, leaving the country necessarily.

It's just from the inside out, how do I live with more passion? How do I live with more presence, more joy for my beloved, for my family, for my community? Yeah, and men who are willing to cultivate that, that's the foundation of the practices I teach. And often what happens is I then end up working with the couples as well because, you whilst I lean into men typically I work with men early 40s to mid 50s as I mentioned earlier typically they're in they're married they've got a mortgage they've

got a business yet or they're in leadership and they've got children. It's the householder's life. So do you do like one-on-one sessions? Do you do workshops? Yeah, yeah, I'm doing a mixture. I'm actually starting today. I've got a group of men, 20 men from around the globe. I'm doing a three-month program with virtually. Okay, okay, a few times a year. Yeah, I do three or four of those a year.

Yeah, and this one is about distraction to present okay yeah it's about taking the biggest feedback i get from the wives i work with is can you please just get him off the bloody phone it's this journey of distraction that we're addicted to yeah in our culture um i work one-on-one with men i do group programs with men i do retreats as well i've just done a five-day retreat to the centre of Australia with 10 men. It was amazing, beautiful, right into the heart of Australia where we just go deep. And I run four or five. I ran one in the UK.

I run four or five of those a year as well. So there's plenty of ways if men are keen to, you know, connect with the work. And my passion is building a community of men who are steeped in this work who can take this to their marriages to their parenting to their businesses yeah and really embody those you know again presence purpose and passion you know my dad he was a very successful businessman I mean everyone knew him as this and when I was a very successful businessman. I mean, everyone knew him as this. And when I was a little kid, he made really good money.

And I was so spoiled, it was ridiculous. But he worked a lot, a lot. And he worked out of state a lot and even at houses and other places. And when my little brother wanted to play baseball, he couldn't be there as much and stuff, and he quit his job. And he went to work for himself so that he could be in our lives.

But you know what? He may not have made as much money, but he never missed out one ball game of my children's. Not until the day he died, he would shut down his business. Yeah. He'd put a note on the door, like closed, you know, for an hour or whatever. Yeah. Never.

Because that was what was important to him. Yeah. That's worth so much more than having all the things. Yeah. One of the exercises that listeners can do, particularly any of the men, is often ask men to define success. And the first list that comes up is like our resume success you know built a business you know climb the corporate ladder made money yeah and then i ask him to do what's your eulogy success yeah what would success look like in your eulogy and it's you can feel the difference

yeah yeah and it's all about the relationships it's all about because that's what we essentially want we just have lost touch with that yeah and when when men anchor in and realize you can have both it's the being and the doing it's the relationship and the action yeah that you can be the father you want to be, the husband you want to be, and build a business. And it took risk. Can you imagine? Yeah, the comfort zone again. I mean, he still made good money, and he forced us to work for him.

But a courage, a courage, again, that, you know, from courage to conformity. He could have conformed and stayed in the corporate job and not gone to baseball, but he had the courage to do it differently He could have conformed and stayed in the corporate job and not gone to baseball, but he had the courage to do it differently. I know. Yeah. And we only had, you know, 60, well, he died at 64. And when I think about, you know, my kids knew him like on a daily, on a daily, he was in our lives. Yeah. i think if anyone asked even though he was a very smart smart businessman he was known for that he could sell anything yeah but he was known for loving

his family and being there yeah that beautiful maya angelo quote you know people don't remember what you did they don't even remember what you said they remember how they felt when they were with you that's the gift that's present yeah it's a life well lived yeah yeah exactly well i better hurry up and get my book out you're running out of time so lovely to connect what a beautiful conversation thank you thank you so much for your wisdom. Can you tell everybody your website and do you have any social media they can follow you at? Yeah, the website's www.bodhildge.com.

And on Instagram, Aldridge Bodhi and on Facebook and any of the listeners, probably not many of the listeners LinkedIn. And on Instagram, Aldridge Bodie. And on Facebook. And any of the listeners, probably not many of the listeners, LinkedIn. I'm always posting things there for my business clients. Yeah. The website's there. There's lots of podcasts. There's the giveaway.

There's blogs. And, yeah, I know a lot of your listeners are the feminine. So encourage them all. You know, the podcast, it's called True Freedom. You can get it on my website. You can get it on Spotify, Apple. Hand it to your husbands next time they're driving to work. On parenting, you know, you're not just talking about, you know, business.

And I love how you connect. You can be this person in all areas of your life. Yeah, yeah. And that's it. And we're just covering topics again for householders, you know, relationship, money, parenting, you know, all of those things. Because, yeah, that's the human experience. Thanks for listening to Sense of Soul Podcast. And thanks to our special guests for joining me. If you want more of Sense of Soul, check out my website at www.mysenseofsoul.com,

where you can work with me one-on-one or help support Sense of Soul Podcast by donating to my coffee fund. Thanks for listening.