Sense of Soul - Embracing the Journey

Episode Date: November 13, 2020

Today we had a fun conversation with Crown Yourself’s,  KIMBERLY SPENCER!  She is an award-winning high performance coach and trainer, Amazon best-selling author, podcast host, international motivational speaker, health junkie, freedom-lover, wife + momma, unsinkable optimist and success strategist for go-getters who are ready to take EVERYTHING to the next level. She joins us to discuss overcoming limited beliefs and how owning our shit is a vital part of being successful! Embrace the journey the good bad and the ugly! Between speaking, coaching, and podcasting, Kimberly has thousands of hours inspiring, mentoring, motivating, and educating visionary leaders all in her unique sparkly, entertaining style. Kimberly has an amazing blog and website with all of her awesome coaching options, workshops, meditations and more.  Check out her podcast The Princess and the B’s, her website and follow her on Social media! www.crownyourself.com IG Crownyourselfnow FB Crown Yourself Don’t forget to Rate, Comment and Subscribe or Follow!! check our www.mysenseofsoul.com , our new Ancestry, Empaths and our Self Love Webinar is coming soon!    

Welcome to the Sense of Soul podcast. We are your hosts, Shanna and Mandy. Grab your coffee, open your mind, heart, and soul. It's time to awaken. Kimberly Spencer is joining us from the Down Under in Australia. She is an award-winning, high-performance coach and trainer, Amazon best-selling co-author, international motivator, and stiletto-wearing health junkie, coffee-drinking wife, mama, devout entrepreneur, and CEO and founder of Crown Yourself Enterprise LLC. She has a passion for helping others reach their full potential by turning negative narratives into a successful mind frame. And I love that you've dedicated your life to helping others. We're delighted to have you. Thank you

so much for being with us. Thank you so much for having me on, Shanda. It is a pleasure to be chatting with some American folks over on the other side of the pond. I still marvel that we're able to do this. Like the technology has allowed us to be so interconnected. And obviously I'm not Australian. So I am an American just living the dream abroad. You are the host of Princess and the Bees podcast. You're just so uplifting. You have such great energy. You're a great motivator to people.

Have to tell us where that came from. I think true motivation, it's found from within. And it's found because you own the stuff you've been through and the changes and how it shaped you. I think a lot of people misconstrue like positive thinking with like what true, deep, intrinsic motivation is. Because positive thinking, like you can think, I am an awesome human all day long, but if your heart is registering that as a bullshit statement, then it's basically building up a greater wall against that. And so it's not an aligned thought. What real motivation I feel is, is really owning where you are. And sometimes there are days that I'm not like Miss Rara. Sometimes like

my husband will tell you, there are days when I am in like driven mode and I have to accept that that's like my like masculine energy coming out. I'm in the drive mode and I'm okay with that. But accepting that instead of fighting it with resistance and saying like, this isn't something of how I should be feeling right now, or I should be this, or I should be that. It's more of accepting where you are now, because once you've accepted it, that's actually where you can pivot and change it. Ownership of the fact that you are currently that thing or that state or that emotion, that actually gives you power rather than living in this elusive land of shoulds and supposed tos of how you're supposed to show up or how you

should be. So I think that that's part of where my motivation comes from is I've just gotten to a place in my life and I've kind of always been this way since I really found myself in my early to mid-20s after going through a lot of struggle. I found that I just really wanted to be honest and authentic and just fully owning who I am wherever that is. Like I wasn't trying to fake it. I think that this motivation that I have now and this level that I operate at now of just full authenticity, it's so polar opposite because I've done the opposite. I've done the fake it till you make

it, pretend like everything's perfect. I'm just going to be in the land where everyone thinks I'm perfect. And it's a hard, high, impossible standard to hold yourself to. There's a difference between holding yourself to a standard of perfection and to a standard of excellence. So holding yourself to a standard of excellence means you strive for excellence. Sometimes you miss and that's okay. Perfection though, there is an identity around it. And when you're in that space of that identity of perfection, of being that perfectionist, it can cripple you because that's really just fear. And no longer fear accepting how you show up as you are right now.

Once you accept it, that doesn't mean that you're going to stay that way. That doesn't mean that that is what it is for the rest of your life. It means that you're accepting this moment, that you're accepting the present moment. I was working with a client and she was struggling with building her business that she had been gifted with. It was passed down to her and she was struggling with motivating her team and she had just gotten so tired of it. And in the process of that, she'd neglected her self-care. And after working together for a few weeks, there was always this reoccurring thing of like, well, I know I need to be working on my health. Well, I know I need.

I asked her, I said, look, let's be totally honest here. Do you even want to be working on your self-care right now? Is that even a thing? Is that even something that you want to be focusing on is honoring yourself and taking better care of yourself? She's like, I know I should say yes. And this is where I knew that like the breakthrough was coming because, and she goes, but honestly, like, like it's, it's a no, that's, that's where I am. And I said, that's great.

At least from that space, we can move you forward. We can't move you forward when you're shooting yourself of this is what you should do. Like invariably, I have a lot of clients that come to me to help them build their businesses. It's so fun because normally about like halfway through working with me, so about like three months into private coaching, I have like a convert, there's a conversation that goes down that normally the client is scared to address with me where they're like, you know, I know I came to you to like help me build my business, but like they've actually found alignment with another thing that they'd already been doing.

That was really the thing that lit them up all along that they really kind of did were doing for free that now they realize that they could be paid for it. And a lot of times it's helping someone else build their dream business and and being that support and that catalyst for them and and i love when this conversation happens i'm like well you know the principles that go into building a business also go into building someone else's business so let's keep going and they're like, I'm so glad you can keep going. So because even if it's not your own business, like this, the same principles of your mindset, your skillset, your systems, your branding, your marketing, your sales, your the vision,

the values, the people that you bring on the team that you surround yourself to support with the data that you're looking at to know what are the things that are really moving the needle. All of that still applies, whether it's your own business or somebody else's. Because I think honestly, all of us are very much born creators and more entrepreneurial than we're, than kind of is conditioned out of us in school. And so that ability to just see how you can think like an entrepreneur, even if it's not your own business, that it actually, I love when that conversation comes up, because then we keep going. And then the transformation just keeps going. And it's, it's, it's, it's like my, my mentor, Brenda Burchard says, it's not achievement that it's the problem, it's alignment. And when you're

really feeling like you're on that aligned path, and you leaned into that thing that kind of was scary, that may have seemed like it was out of left field. Like, I don't know, choosing to live in Australia during the middle of a pandemic or like, I don't know, like never, never loving science or fitness or anything. And then suddenly deciding to become a Pilates instructor, which was what I did back when I was 19, that I just decided, oh, I found something that I loved. I found something that lit me up, that I found something that made me feel really good. And leaning into that feeling of like, it's okay to feel good. It's okay to do things that feel good, that are in service of you, are in service of others others and how can you just ripple that forth and so that's a very long

winded answer I love how you said leaning into the feeling because I think a lot of times we lean into things that look good instead of feel good I love how you said that you leaned into the feeling of it so you fought some pretty hard things in the past, like OCD. You were a perfectionist. You even at one point fought some, was it, you were bulimic? Yeah, for 10 years. Yeah. Oh my gosh.

So those struggles, I'm assuming, were part of what catapulted you into learning to be authentic and vulnerable with those kinds of stories? Yeah. I mean, my childhood was very much, my childhood and like teenage years were very much trying to fit into this mold that I thought other people had for me and that I thought I had to be. There was a fantastic question that I loved from Tony Robbins documentary, The I Am Not Your Guru, where he asked a girl, who did you have to be the parent that you wanted? Not who did you love more, but like, who did you have to be for that parent? And for me, I thought I had to be this achiever for my dad. My dad was an addict and he has been up until literally last year.

And finally he's free of everything and sober. Yeah. I love that. Proving that at 73, you can still transform your life. Oh my God. That's so awesome. I love the stories. Yeah. Proving that it is never too late to transform when you decide to transform. He went off of alcohol when I staged his intervention in 2016. And then last year, he went to rehab for painkillers and addiction and opioids, which is just a rampant problem in the US especially. And he just totally changed himself. And it's really beautiful to see.

But growing up, I say I grew up with forefathers. So that's one of the things that allowed me to actually be really beautiful to see. And, but like growing up, like I say, I grew up with four fathers. Like, so that's one of the things that allowed me to be actually be really good at coaching because I can assess behavior before really a first word is spoken. And it's just an, it's a natural thing. It's an intrinsic thing. And it's because I grew up assessing which dad was coming home. So I'd have like a millisecond or two when he walked in the door, is he drunk? Is he stoned? Is he on pills? Is he sober? And in that few,

and it got me very good at reading body language, tone of voice, eye patterns, all the things that I do now that I use now as a coach. So it's now served me powerfully. Like it allowed me to have, I was in the room of 2000 people and we were at a conference back when we all could gather and we were supposed to be sharing some of our hardest moments and things. And it allowed me to see in this one guy who like was trying to dodge my eyesight. I was like, he's got a breakthrough and nobody else is going to pull it out of him. He's going to bring up some bullshit story that is about like this struggle thing that he wants to pretend and put on a face for. And I just knew it. I knew it within the span of 15 seconds of looking in his eyes. And so I called him over to our group and we all shared very authentically what our stories were. And there were story after story after story of

within that group, and it could not have been more divinely orchestrated within that group of sexual abuse. And suddenly, this guy who would have told some story about like, he told me later, he's like, I would have told this story about like how my grandma died. And that was the hardest thing. But he actually came out with the trauma that he went through sexually when he was a kid that he'd never shared with anyone. And suddenly he shared it in a room full of strangers. And to this day, he thanks me because he's like, I never, like the release that he had of just being able to share that story. And it's because I showed up authentically and I was able to calibrate behavior within a second.

And that's a gift that I'm really grateful for. I called my dad and I thanked him. I said, look, all the stuff that happened growing up, I said, I want you to know, like it allowed me to deliver this beautiful breakthrough to this human. And I just want to thank you for like the training ground. And I said, I know that there's still some shame about some things. And I just want to thank you for like the training ground. And I said, I know that there's still some shame about some things. And I'm like, that's fine. But the thing is, is that this all happened for me, it didn't happen to me. And that's the big difference in the big

transition. And what I say about ownership and owning what happened to you, even if you've been a victim in some way, and there have been many experiences in my even if you've been a victim in some way. And there have been many experiences in my life where I have been a victim of abuse of every kind. But at the same time, I look at how could this have happened for me? And what many of those experiences have allowed me to do have been deliver and notice when somebody has a secret that they really want to come out.

I mean, I had one person on my podcast, literally after the end of the podcast, she shared about her story of her own sexual trauma growing up. And she was like, oh my gosh, I've literally never shared that publicly with anybody. And she was only like, my clients kind of know about it, but I've never shared that publicly with anybody. And she was only like, my clients kind of know about it, but I've never shared that publicly. And it's just because there's, when you show up authentically and you allow yourself to speak on things that scare you, it takes the power of fear that they have, the fear, the shame, the guilt. It takes that power away when you can speak it. Like when I first started sharing that I was bulimic

and I first started owning that, I was looking to change it, but I knew the change would be a process. And the first step to changing that was accepting that I was bulimic, accepting that that's where my mindset, my body set was at this moment. And then from that place, moving forward.

And that's what's been beautiful in the struggles that I went through is that I now have a really strong ability of seeing how everything in my life has allowed me to serve in what I do now. Love it. I am a huge advocate and try to really speak on authenticity and vulnerability because I too found that when I am that way, it allows people to open up and share their story. And there's so much healing in that. Shanna and I have talked about this before, but I was raised to be vulnerable and authentic. And Shanna was, her definition of it was totally different. She was raised thinking that you don't

do that because if you do, you're, you know, maybe allowing someone to take advantage of you. And so it's interesting how people perceive it as being so different, but it truly is such a gift. And, you know, when you are aligned and you are being authentic, sometimes you don't even have to open your mouth. I don't know if you find this, but a lot of times I go places and people just tell me their entire life story because they can just feel that I'm open. Yeah. I've had that happen myself and a lot of my clients as well, where they're just like walk into a room and there's an energy. There's an energy of openness and there's also a nonjudgmental openness, like where you know that it's a safe space. That person, that group, that whatever, where you can share and allow for that healing to

process through. Do you work with clients with addiction? I work, I like to say, I work with visionary leaders. Now I do believe that we attract some version of who we are in many forms as our clients. So do I specifically put myself out there as working with people who have struggled with addiction and saying that I coach addicts specifically? Not really because that borderlines into the gray zone of therapy. And I never want to be misconstrued as a therapist because I'm not licensed or practiced to be able to do that. What I do find though, is because you attract clients who are where you are, I've, I've coached clients through sexual addictions, through a lot of my clients actually come to me after healing from some form of addiction where they're like alcoholism or

something like that. And now they don't have that pattern. So they're looking for the joy in life. They're looking for that, the thing that alcohol used to allow them to unleash that, that more authentic, maybe crazy, maybe like the fun side. And they don't know how to bring that out sober. And that's, that's where we start getting into the fun of like, okay, well, how can we bring out that version of you who used to come out? Because like, I know that when I drank, there's a certain amount. And when I used to like party hardy back in my early twenties, there's a certain amount that I would consume where I'd be like fun and authentic. And like, I would be like my best self. And then there would be the tipping point where suddenly that tipping point would tip and there would be all the demons, all the pain, all the shame would come out.

All the stuff that really wanted to be exposed to the light would come out. And so I take a two-pronged approach of like, okay, well, what are those things that need to come out? What are those things that really now currently you are tolerating still being a part of you, whether it's old habits or old patterns or old belief systems, like a belief that like one that I worked on the client with just recently, chaos, that she would naturally in her business create chaotic circumstances because that's just what she was used to thriving in. And so even when her business was like doing well and we pivoted and suddenly she's like,

oh my gosh, we had a hundred more appointments this week. We had a 10% increase in our sales. And I was like, cool, rock on. And she's like, now I'm worried. And I said, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Where was your focus during these past two weeks? And she was like, well, it was on, you know, increasing our sales by 10%. It was was on, you know, increasing our sales

by 10%. It was motivating the team to, to get behind increasing their sales. I said, so where's your focus now? And she's like, I was on not having, like having, having the other shoe that's going to drop. So that's a big pattern that I see with addicts is like, when is this other shoe going to drop? Or a lot of things that with people who have been addicted to something, it's the form of self-sabotage in some way. So where is self-sabotage coming in? How do you believe, and pardon my language here, but like, and I asked this pretty explicitly, is like, how do you believe that you're going to fuck it up? And when I asked that question, suddenly all of the things of the desire to self-sabotage come out and the fears of self-sabotaging and the fear of their own power of being able to self-fall. There's a belief that a lot of entrepreneurs come to me because they're like, I want to start a business because I want freedom.

And I'm like, cool, let's dive in. Like, how are you feeling free now? They're like, I'm not, I'm overwhelmed, I'm stressed. We're only doing five figures, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. And I'm like, okay. So what you really, what I find is a lot of entrepreneurs don't really want freedom. They want control. And even if it's that controlling their, how the struggle of how much struggle they're living with, they want that, that, that control over how much they're struggling to the appropriate amount that they feel that they should be struggling. And sometimes for a lot of entrepreneurs, that can be a big, a big amount of struggle. What does success mean to you?

Oh, I love this question because I believe it's defined, it needs to be defined personally for every single person. And for me, success means living every day successfully. Like, I mean, it's silly to define a word by itself, but to live every day and feel fulfilled. And so for me, that means how much did I operate in my zone of genius? Like how much did I do? And there, cause there, there are multiple zones that we can operate in. And I find that a lot of entrepreneurs who are struggling, they're doing a lot of things in their zone of competence, and so they're doing all the things, they're, you know, writing the posts, and then posting the things, and then doing this thing, and they're scheduling, and planning out their newsletters,

and then uploading them, and scheduling them, and they're doing all of the things inside of a process versus the one part of that process that they just, that lights their soul on fire. That is like their jam. And so for me, I feel like living every day successfully is I know what my genius zone is. It's creating, it's connecting, and it's challenging. And it's challenging perspective. So that could be writing a blog, it could be doing a live stream, it could be doing a podcast interview, it could be coaching a client, it could be creating a meditation or hypnosis, it could be connecting, like I do regularly, what I call karmic connections, which are just like, oh, you want to be on this podcast? Okay, cool. I'll connect you to, or oh, this is your goal. I think that this, let me connect you with this lawyer friend of mine who'd be, who would serve you with some, some stuff for like, I love connecting. And I just, I just connect

and trust that those karmic connections will come back. And so that's one of the things that I just, I love doing. And it's part of my genius zone. And so when I look at, did I operate most of the day in my zone of genius, which also entails, did I spend time with the people that I love? So I did, and did I honor myself? So having a daily park date with my son requirement, like requirement. And on the days that I miss it on the days that I work through it, because it's very easy to excuse it, because it's like the same park. It feels like the same thing. At the same time, the days that I miss it, when I put my head on the pillow, I'm like,

miss that one. Yeah, I don't feel as successful. On the days that I haven't had a really good, deep, loving, amazing, powerful, profound couch time conversation with my husband, as we call it, like where we've just connected and just had a, and had a lovely conversation that dove into what, wherever or whatever, whatever we're working on or dreaming up or creating like that feels like, I could have, I could have done deeper a little bit on that one. That would have made me feel more successful on the the days that I don't write, on the days that I don't create something and release it into the world, that makes me feel like if I don't write, that's something that I've recently,

just over the course of the pandemic, brought back into my life that I didn't realize I missed so much. And now I write a lot. Like I don't write exactly every day because I strive in my days for 80%. So I stopped being the perfectionist who's going, I have to be at a hundred percent every time. Let me tick, tick, tick, tick, tick these boxes, make sure I get a hundred percent. No, I look at, did I get 80% of the way there? And if I'm at 80%, normally that means that my head can lie on that pillow and I am good. Like I get a good night's rest knowing that I've lived the day fulfilled. And I, did I honor my body? Did I do something for my physical health? Did I eat well? Did I drink my water? Did I, did I, did I take care and nourish the vessel that is allowing me to have this life? And that is something that is, that is also essential for,

for me is like, if I didn't exercise that day, maybe not that day, but like two days later, I'll feel that it slips into that. Like if it goes a couple of days with that exercise, then I feel it. I feel like, yeah, this week has been a little lagging. Um, and I don't like that feeling. So I, I chase after the feeling and I don't exercise. I used to exercise to beat myself up all the time. I used to have all the boxes and all the things that I had to tick off and all the calorie counts that I had to hit to be able to like feel like I live successfully. And now I really go based on the feeling and I exercise to make me feel good. And so I don't do like squats. I don't do exercises that I don't feel like are aligned with what I love. And squats are not one of them. And there are some things that I've learned to love and something like

running. I couldn't run a mile to save my life back when I was 18. Now I've run five marathons like that. And it's something that I've, I've learned to fall in love with that I, that I now just like, I totally love, but I chased that feeling of like, what, what the feeling of those results are after. And so the results, I don't like CrossFit. That's another thing that doesn't align with me. I'm like, that's a form of exercise where I'm like, you know, I don't need to do Fran. I'm good. Like I'm, I'm really good with,

with not touching a giant dumbbell. Also, cause as a former Pilates instructor, I have recovered so many knee injuries from that, that I was just like, nope, not for me. I'm good. But those are the things as I really chase like what makes me feel good. Like right now, elliptical and yoga makes me feel good. And running around at the park with my son and like chasing him. That's also exercise too, but I don't normally count that. Normally, my exercise that I count is the exercise that I do when I'm like on my own, because that's also my visioning time. That's the time that I really spend moving into whatever vision I am working on manifesting. I was going to ask you, you must

have intuitively known because my first question was what is success? and then I was going to ask what is health so I think you pretty much covered that thing yeah and you know I heard I heard again and correct me if I'm wrong but you you lean into the feeling and when you it's that it really is the the feeling that I've had to awaken inside of myself because um I was very much like what what is addiction like it's escaping from normally a lot of feelings like it's normally a lot of feelings and then my my mom on the other side of the spectrum, she doesn't drink, she doesn't take any substances, but she just is so like logical brained where everything has to make sense in her mind, but, and feelings to her do not make sense. So I was blessed to my parents as this very big feeling child. And so the, why that first part of my life was really a lot of a struggle

was me trying to condition myself into a mold where I wasn't allowing myself to feel shame, anger, sadness, guilt, or any of those, the rainbow of feelings, because it wasn't right, or it wasn't appropriate, or it wasn't the right place, or sadness, sadness in my family was construed as manipulation. And that's just because of conditioning there on my dad's side, where he saw his mom would manipulate with crying, and her crying would be like to get him to do something. And so he would cave because he didn't want to see his mom cry. So he connected that dot for him. And so for me, then that conditioning was passed down. So that's why I say like, I love stripping people away from the plagiarized programming that they have adopted or that has been conditioned into them to really find what is authentic. Like what is authentic to

them? What is what is authentic for health? What is, what is authentic for health? What is authentically them for success? Cause sometimes it's not what every, in fact, most times pretty much it's not what other people tell you it should be or is. Yeah. We talk a lot about that. You know, Shanna and I, that was probably part of our big awakening is realizing that our whole life we had been told what success was supposed to look like and we held ourselves to those standards and then we found that even with our first children when we were still sleepwalking we kind of held them to that standard too of what society had conditioned us to thinking success is and we really encourage people to sit and look at what that means for them. And it's okay if some people it's money and a nice house and a car.

And for some people, it's okay if it's just that they don't want any money and they want to simplify and live in a van, whatever feeds their soul. And success is success based on individual people. And I love that you said that because it's not just an umbrella word. There's no umbrella definition for everyone of what success is. And we all have the right to define it ourselves. And I think a lot of people kind of go astray in many ways of combining success with money. I love making money and I love being a successful business person, but I could not physically, like it would hurt my soul to be in a job where I knew I could make a lot of money,

but it didn't fuel my soul. It wasn't me operating my genius zone. Like I know that I could, like, I know that I could design websites all day long, but that is not in. And I used to do that like way back when I thought my coaching wasn't good enough. When I first started coaching back in like 2016, 2017, I would just add in like, Oh, I'll help you with your website too. And I could design a really beautiful website. I could do that. Now I know that that's a hundred percent, not my zone of genius. That is definitely a zone of excellence or zone of competence because it's something that I've trained myself to do. Or have I ever made money by focusing on making money ever? And the only time, and when I started

focusing on making money in my business, that was the only time that my business income went from 10 K months and it went, I was like, what happened? Cause I was into all these money manifesting workshops and doing focusing on money and what was my next money goal. And what, and suddenly that was when it clicked. And I was like, Holy crap, Kim, in any business, in my Pilates business, I didn't focus on money. I focused on service. I focused on really being of the highest service possible and just getting the most amazing results for my clients. And the money just came. That was really, that shift transformed everything for me to where I suddenly went from having 10K months

to 20K months. It's magical, but it's because I put that focus on a hundred percent on service and a hundred percent on not my results on my clients results. And that's the beauty of what happens when you transform people's story. And I think people use mindset very either flippantly because they don't understand it or it's like, oh, I'm working on my mindset. But it's like mindset is one thing. Transformation is a whole other ballgame. Like when you can transform someone's identity from being self-sabotaging, achieving but is out of alignment in crappy relationships and making choices that are what they're supposed

to be and should be to where they have, you know, left their marriage, are in a job that they never thought they would be able to have before that suddenly feels so aligned where they're able to make exactly what they wanted and then some and they're able to live in the most beautiful space and that's what their their dream of what success has been for them and it's you have been able to unlock those gifts inside of them that they got themselves to that place that's that's a whole different identity it's not just a mindset shift it It's an identity shift. And that's the beauty. And that's like the thing that just lights me up so much of what I do. I love that. I can feel it when you're saying that, that that's where your soul's at is helping other people lift and find their purpose

and align with it. That's awesome. I love it. I truly on a soul level believe that when more good-hearted, mission-minded, purpose-driven leaders are making more money, that is how we transform the planet. It's that ebb and flow. And as more leaders are able to generate, more good-hearted leaders are able to generate more money, that means they're flowing more back into others. If you are in the leadership position in either your business or someone else's, you are a part of steering that ship. And the bigger you can build that ship, the more people can come on it. The more people you can employ to come onto your ship, to drive it into that vision, which means they're not only employed in the place that they love working, that ideally is hiring them to work in their genius zone,

which thus it's genius and purpose and mission amplified. And then they're all driving to this destination where then they're also able to be fruitful and multiply. You know, I think a lot of people that are doing soul work from their heart and have been gifted with things from their past, like you were, you have these gifts that you're through your trauma with your dad that you were given. I think that like Shanna and I, you know, through our trauma, we've had a lot of abilities, we call them. And sometimes we have a hard time taking money for that because we feel like if we were gifted it, we should just be giving it to others.

And it kind of goes against like that soul work. And I think a lot of lightworkers and people that are trying to spread love and light struggle with that. Yeah, this is a big one. This is a big one that I've seen, especially with this soul work. I'll frame it in the way that my mentor phrases it. He says, you can't sustain the mission without the money. Because in our present reality, in our 3D world, we operate where money is part of that flow of energy. It's an exchange of currency. And I like to think of it like this.

Yeah, we were gifted these lessons a lot of times through trauma, which you can't put a price on. It's an experience. The problem is, is that when you're trying to share that knowledge or share that value that you had from those experiences with somebody who has not experienced that, then that trauma that let's just say if we did put a price on that, you're giving that to them for free. Well, I like to think of this because we've all been to a conference or something where

we've all gotten a free goodie bag, right? And so I ask this of my clients who struggle with their pricing all the time is like, so that free goodie bag that you got at that conference, you must remember it because that goodie bag must be sitting next to your nightstand table. Like it must be there right next to your wedding ring with all like the makeup. Like it is so precious to you that you hold it so dear. And they're like, they all laugh. And I'm like, because you got it for free. And even though you may have paid for your conference ticket, like it's like, it's just a bunch of random shit that's thrown into a bag and there's no attachment to that value.

There's no meaning to it, which the meaning is created through the experience of it. And that's why, because the meaning is created through the experience of it. That's why when you use money as a form of transaction, there is an experience that people have when they are paying for something. There is an experience that clients have when they are, when they are putting down what they may perceive to be an extraordinary amount of money. Like I remember when I invested in my first coach and I paid $5,000 and I was like, oh my God, like I was 35 grand in debt. I was like, I was adding another five grand to a credit card and I had just found out I was pregnant.

I was like, Kim, what the F are you doing? But I leaned into that feeling of the feeling that I knew that this is that it was that deep, intrinsic knowing that that was exactly what I needed to do. And when I leaned into that feeling, it blessed me tenfold. I showed up more fully. I showed up present. I mean, I do see a difference between my clients and the transformation that they get when they work one-on-one privately with me and my clients who take like a self-study course or my customers who do who like jump into one of my lower tier programs they get value but when they when you invest a significant amount of money of whatever is significant to you and your financial status as to where you are right now something something that just feels enough like a stretch, there is an experience that you have in making that investment.

And sometimes that experience involves a conversation with your spouse. Sometimes that is normally that experience definitely involves a conversation with yourself and with your higher self and with your vision and what you want. And sometimes that experience involves you really checking and making sure that this is something that aligns with you, that is something that you really want, that is something that you're ready to lean into that vision. Because then when you do, it's like there's no going back. You've invested in it. We value college. We value these experiences. We value the certifications that we get, we value all these things because the investing is part of the experience of that experience. And if we were

just given that ticket, that free thing to go for free, we might show up, we may, but more often than not, what I've seen is that we don't. Or if we do, we don't play full out. Yeah, that's absolutely valid. And what are you worth? This is a big thing that I had to transform within myself is that it's not about what you are worth because you're priceless. We all are. Like we can't put a price on many of our life experiences. We can put a price on a process of transformation. That process that we have, that process that we're able to deliver, that delivers results, that process deserves a price. I realized my self-worth was nowhere in that game of the sale. It was 100% on service, on service of the other person. It was 100% on

what I knew the process that I was putting them through would do for them. The process of Pilates back then would do for them within the span of 10 sessions of the transformation that would happen within their body. The same is true for coaching. I personally, I mean, I work with a lot of younger people. They don't have $100 a month to pay for coaching. You know, they're still living off of their parents or, you know, or barely making it. I do have a thing with money, definitely. And I want to help people. And you know what? Money should not be an option. Like I'm still going to help you. So a part of that, a part of that that I'm hearing is you feel like, let me just make sure I got this right. So you feel bad for charging them a certain amount for what it is that you do. I guess it depends on who it is. If it's someone that's struggling for money and

they're struggling to come see me every month. Yeah. You know, I actually teach and do a lot of my services even on a sliding scale because I do not want people to not be able to come and see me. There's a couple of things of like, what if them seeing you is the best thing that they've ever done that week? That investment is they're investing in you and that in whatever they experience in that session with you because they believe in their own transformation. Right. The ego and the fear that the ego likes to come in and play tricks with us on money too. And especially money because it's an easy one.

And so, for example, when we tie up our own scarcity and beliefs and funkiness around money, we're not serving our customers. We're focusing on ourselves and our own ego. Even if it's from that place of good heartedness and service, there is an ego that comes into what I call money mothering, where you're trying to, where you're judging the other person for the money that they are spending on you. Wow. And in that space of money mothering, you're basically in that mothering space that like, I know what is better. Like you're spending so much money. Are you sure this is something that you should be doing? And in that space, you're doing them a disservice because you're talking them out of something that they actually see value in. It's ridiculous. Like you can find

value in anything. You can find a transformational value in buying an $800 Aramais scarf, which for me just seems ridiculous at this point. For somebody that has value. Okay. Well then let's talk about like a really amazing pair of like Prada stilettos. Hey, yeah, now we're talking my language. So for example, I love the story that Barbara Corcoran tells and that when she got her first high paying job, she got her first high paying sale. I think she ended up selling her, using her entire paycheck, her entire paycheck to buy a Chanel jacket. A ridiculous thing,

but she leaned into this feeling of what that Chanel jacket did for her, of what that Chanel jacket provided for her. She said it was the best thing that she ever did because it was the best money she ever spent because every meeting she walked into from there on out, she wore that Chanel jacket provided for her. And she said it was the best thing that she ever did because it was the best money she ever spent because every meeting she walked into from there on out, she wore the Chanel jacket. And she knew she was wearing like,

I think it was like a three grand jacket to the meeting. And she's like, oh yeah, try it. Look like let's negotiate with this baby on. And like that is a feeling of transformation that you get that money and spending that money allowed her to have. Now for somebody else, it may not be a Chanel jacket. For somebody else, it may be a $3,000 investment in a coach or a program or a retreat or a vacation. Money is relative to the value of the, what you are giving, what you, are giving, what they are getting. And so who am I to judge my customers on what they perceive as valuable? That's a great point.

I have offers like for leadership courses for $8 or for $11 so that for those people who cannot put down $18, $30K for coaching, they can put down $8, $11. And that has value in itself because I know that course, that training, that thing, it solves a problem that they need right now. I did see that you do have a lot of things that you offer on your website. Can you share some of the things that you are offering right now? Yeah. So I have a whole range of courses and memberships. If you are looking to build your business,

I always recommend anyone just start off with a one-on-one consult. Like that really is the best way for me to give you a personalized, kind of like a prescription for what it is that for the next steps that would be the best thing for you. And maybe that is private coaching. If,

if you're at a space where that's something that is something that is financially interesting to you, or it may be, it's one of my group programs, like my revolutionary empire builders, which is specifically focusing on helping a lot of five figure entrepreneurs grow into six and seven figures. And,

or my mindful monarchs. If you're looking for more mindfulness, more, more mind body connection work of really tapping into having it all on all levels and firing on all cylinders. And that's, that's what my mindful monarchs membership is. That's a $22 membership. Revolutionary empire builders is a $99 a month membership. I run the gambit on prices now because I'm able to, but I always recommend starting off with a one-on-one consult. So if that's something that you're interested in, it is a paid consult for $197. It will rock your world. And I will, if you are a business owner, I will give you a plan to scale your business 150% in the next 12 months. So I like to think

of it as 90 minutes where we get to dive in, break through, bust a move, Shanghai, karate chop some self-limiting beliefs around money. And then I give you a plan and a formula to scale and grow your business 150% within the next 12 months. And you can just go to crownyourself.com forward slash private dash coaching. Awesome. My mouth dropped when I saw all the awesome topics. I mean, you even have a mindful meals program. I mean, yeah, mindful meals is my book that's coming out this year. So it's really about how I reprogram my mindset around bulimia and the mindset work that I did that will eventually the next year or so we'll have

a follow up book specifically around money. I'm going to throw this podcast for a little twist, though, when something is placed on me and I have no idea why I just listen, this blog, allow for it to fall apart. I don't know if you could pull it up. I would love for you to read that for our listeners. You got it. And you know what I love about you too, is that you, you're raw and authentic and you, you say cuss words sometimes. I do. You align with Shannon and I,

because we love those words too. So do you want me to read it now? Yes, please. It's not perfect. This journey. There are moments worthy of puffy eyes, release pain,

struggle, triumph, challenge, championship, figuring it out and all the above combined into the span of 90 seconds sometimes but it is in those moments of crashing burning finding releasing allowing that allows for the pieces to come together breathe keep going you've got this puffy eyes or not you don't have to put it out in the world but perfect doesn't and it pays to be human as captain Captain Marvel shows us, the benefit of being

human is that we have forged an unshakable resilience to get back up again and again and again and again. And every time we stand up for ourselves, for something greater than us, for love, for more, you strengthen the resilience within us, which when forged, exercise in the throes of too much stress, overwhelmed pain, struggle, choice, choosing, and re-deciding, re-committing to that vision, you see more of who you are becoming. You are becoming your dream, the queen who is both worthy of it now and earning it every second. Keep going. Allow the world to be with you on your journey. It may surprise you as you show up more authentically and more vulnerably that you will actually attract more people, more cheerleaders, more supporters into your world.

Being some perfect paragon of perfection actually subconsciously leaves a little niggling distrust in your customer's mind because it ain't real. Life has shit sometimes and meltdowns and hardships and struggles and always trying to be perfect. Well, if you can smell BS with your own attempts at perfection, guess what your audience is thinking from that stinking. Let them see behind the scenes action. You don't have to expose it all, but show some humanity for goodness sake. This world is starving for your authenticity and your hope. You can have your raw and real moments and still find the most beautiful silver linings in it all. You can constantly be up leveling your game and still be figuring it out. You don't have to have all your shit straight in order to serve. Just show up for yourself, for others. We got this. Remember your reign is now.

And then if you'd like to get how to show up on social media, extra sparkly, then you can jump in on the course that I promote at the end, which is my new course sparkle on social media. I loved it. It was raw. It was authentic. It was simple. It just really touched me. And I was like, for some reason, I feel like people need to hear it today. So as a writer, that's like the best feedback that I could ever have is like when that when that work just touches like that. Thank you so much for, I receive all of that. Thank you. Oh my gosh. Yes. Thank you. Your blog's awesome. I'm glad that you got back to writing. Yeah. We appreciate you taking time today to come on with us. So Shannon, I do do this thing all the time where we ask our guests to break that shit down. So it's just, is there anything on your heart today,

right now that you would want to leave our listeners with? And now it's time for break that shit down. Own your shit. Own the messes, own the mistakes, own the fuck ups, own the failures, own the championships, own the mistakes, own the fuck-ups, own the failures, own the championships, own the celebrations, own the wins, own the victories, own it all. Because all of it is encompassing and all of it can be used to serve. Period. Perfect. I love it. Thank you so much.

Thank you so much. Bye, Mandy. Bye, Shanna. Thanks for being with us today. We hope you will come back next week. If you like what you hear, don't forget to rate, like, and subscribe. Thank you. We rise to lift you up.

Thanks for listening.